How to be Normal

by Ange Crawford

Winner of the inaugural Walker Books Manuscript Prize. With themes including coercive control, coming of age, and finding yourself, this debut authentically deals with timely issues with insight, sympathy and well crafted humour.

Astrid is about to start her last year at high school. And her first.
When her dad loses his job, Astrid’s homeschooling comes to an end. Until now, she has lived within the confines of a tightly controlled, contracted world where there's no room for anything … except following her father’s rules and pretending that everything is normal.
As Astrid, and her mum, tentatively expand their world, they struggle to break free of their ingrained wariness and self-doubt. But with hope, new friends, and the strength of a promise, Astrid has a chance to find out what she wants, who she loves, and who she really is.

Winner of the inaugural Walker Books Manuscript Prize, this is a brilliantly written YA debut that deftly explores timely issues with insight, humour and pathos.

Genres: Young Adult, Friendship, Family, Music, Mental Health, Australia, Contemporary

337 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 5, 2025

Reviews

[isobel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to read an ARC for this amazing upcoming YA story. We follow Astrid as she navigates her last year of school and new coming-of-age experiences, all while she deals with the coercion and control in her own home. An insightful book about finding freedom and one’s place in the world, in spite of all the uncertainties and everything against you. Excited for more people to get their hands on this!!

[Trisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hard to read. How many kids are going through this sort of thing.

Good representation.

[Leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really powerful look at domestic violence in the context of emotional abuse, isolation and coercive control. I think it’s easy for this form of domestic violence to be discounted because it doesn’t involve physical violence and is perhaps less overt, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still incredibly harmful. I wish we had seen more of the characters leaving and the steps involved, as well as the emotional impact and fall out as well as their growth afterwards, but damn this was powerful and such an important book to exist in the YA landscape given Australia’s current statistics around domestic violence. I appreciated how it highlighted the dangers associated with leaving such a relationship. The author did a fantastic job of creating tension and fear in the household and showing how even minor actions and interactions can be loaded and weighty when living in an abusive environment, as well as how abuse shapes how you interact with the world. A necessary story, beautifully and carefully written, and one I would encourage younger readers to engage with!

[Clare Snow · Rating 5 out of 5]

"After they're said, words are out of your control, and everything's already out of control."

[mads kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was a surprisingly honest read. astrid's story was hard to read, but so important. the lgbtq+ discourse was well done, a tiny bit in your face but it felt real within context, and it was nice to see some non-binary & pan representation in an aussie setting. very heavy subject matter but very well written.

[Tia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Did the thing where I misunderstood the synopsis and thought this was about Astrid and her mother’s life opening up after leaving the abusive father, however, this is about their lives gradually opening up whilst still under the dad’s strict control. This was definitely hard to read about, as the content was heavy.

Mostly it was a good book, however sometimes I found the writing style a bit difficult to appreciate. 3.5 stars.

[rhi rhi (a literal angel) · Rating 2 out of 5]

౨ৎ | ‘sometimes i worry that this is pretty clear evidence I am a broken person: i can arrange myself in far too many ways.’

— ★ 2.5/5

this had a beautiful story behind it, and how to cope with drastic changes and challenges in life. but i fear i just didn’t like the writing style, and i felt like there could have been more to the ending. but i did enjoy this regardless.

[Melissa Trevelion · Rating 4 out of 5]

How to be Normal by Australian author Ange Crawford is a heartfelt YA fiction debut.

Astrid has been home schooled her entire life, that is until her father loses his job, and she is now about to start high school. Little does she know how open her world will become as she realises the confines and control her father has over her and her mother. Will they be able to break free and live the life they want?

This mesmerizing story took me by surprise as I felt drawn in by the confident, crisp writing. The author wastes no time in introducing the reader to the complex world of Astrid and the authority she has lived by.

The cast of characters are sophisticated and memorable and developed to reflect the psychology of their age. The story is well-paced with emotionally charged scenes throughout the narrative, great dialogues, and a vivid setting.

The plot has many surprises for readers, and they will love Crawfords gift for sustaining their curiosity and keeping their eyes on the pages until the satisfying end. A miust read for all ages, I highly recommend.

[Sometimes IRead · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s been almost a week since I finished this book so things aren’t as clear in my mind’s eye anymore. I really do need to stop doing this. Hopefully I do justice to the book!

How to be Normal by Ange Crawford gives us one of the worst social situations one can imagine, starting high school in one’s final year after years of being homeschooled. That’s exactly what happens to Astrid when her father loses his job, prompting her mom to return to the workforce and the end of her homeschooling journey. However, Astrid’s worries extend beyond fitting in at school, as things are far from peachy at home. Can she find a way to survive this final year and start life anew?

Adolescence is such a tricky period in one’s life. There’s a whole load of change and so many decisions that would literally affect the trajectory of one’s life. Yet, it’s also the time where there is the whisper of promise every where. Such an exciting time. Perhaps that’s why so many books are written about this time. Astrid’s journey of exploration and self-discovery was lovely to see and I think lovers of the Bildungsroman would enjoy this.

There is a trigger warning here though, for emotional abuse. I’m glad that Crawford chose this particular type of abuse to explore, as it doesn’t seem as dangerous or harmful as other abuse. Yet, Crawford shows us how pervasive such abuse can be, colouring every aspect of one’s life. Certain explanations were a little on the nose but I guess it still serves the message well. I just wish that we get to see more of the aftermath, because I think that the hardest part really is the picking up of the pieces. Still, this was a solid read!

Diversity in literature:
Strong female characters

[Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you so much to @walkerbooksaus for an ARC of this book.

This book really makes you think and think in a good way. We meet Astrid, who is starting their first year of schooling since being home schooled her entire life as per her fathers instruction. It is at high school that Astrid learns that the life her father crafted for their family is quite controlling and brings about the feeling of wariness and self-doubt. Throughout this book, both Astrid and her mum learn who they are and grow. They learn the freedom that is involved with making their own paths, the love that has been neglected, and the sense of community we all seek.

I can not express how this book made me feel vulnerable and made me cry and made me sit back and appreciate what I have. The balance of Astrid navigating her emotions and the tribulations of the outside world is outstandingly written.

This book is marked as YA, but please understand that the themes are a little dark and if you are planning to get this for a younger adult or family member to be present for the discussions that will no doubt arise.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

How To Be Normal by Ange Crawford

I received a copy of How to be Normal by Ange Crawford from Better Reading to read for an honest review.

We follow Astrid who is navigating her last year of high school, new friendships and relationships, & turning 18 all the while dealing g with a coercive and controlling Father.

Astrid finds it difficult to fully open up to her new friendships, due to the circumstances of her home life, therefore finds that it’s easier to “lie” & not let her true self be seen by others due to the way things are with her Dad.

Astrid’s older brother Nick was able to escape the coercive control, and all throughout the story, there is talk of Astrid & her Mum escaping the abusive relationship also. Although, this does not happen until right at the end & not without further issues.

An eye opening read, that Adults along with YA should read.

[Jennie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book difficult to read as the premise of coercive control from the father was not fully explained - i felt there needed to be an ideology or mental health reason to provide a context. This lack of grounding did make it harder to relate to the characters - chiefly 17 year old Astrid but also her mother - both on an equally challenging journey to start to live a normal life. Much of the book is focused on their gradual entry into the real world.

Crawford presents an aspect of domestic violence that is not as frequently discussed as she explores emotional abuse, isolation and coercive control. Astrid's technique of building walls to hide her true nature is well handled and provides insights into how difficult it can be to make friends, build trust and be oneself after living on the edge of doing the wrong thing for so long.

[Annette Heslin · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story of a seventeen-year-old girl Astrid who is no longer being home-schooled by her mother and is going to mainstream school.

After her father lost his employment, her mother found a job and is working to pay the bills.

But it isn't easy when your father is very domineering and has coercive control. The joy and freedom are simply not there.

This would have been a hard decision for Astrid's mother to make knowing there would be consequences. But for their own safety they had to escape that situation and leave their Husband and Father behind.

The sad reality is more of it goes on than what we see and realize.

[Helen Farch · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an outstanding new YA book that will unfortunately resonate with far too many teens who have experienced the type of coersive control experienced by Astrid and her mother.

Written with so much heart, bravery, and yes... humour, this is a coming-of-age story where Astrid just wants to be normal, but instead finds that there is power in being unique.

Reading this my heart both broke... and soared... for Astrid.

Thanks to the Publisher for the review copy of this book.

[Lisa Tirreno · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favourite books so far for the year. It tackles some really tough subject matter sensitively and with just such utter grace and empathy. You feel so much for the MC, as she tackles some usual teen issues—wondering what to do with the rest of her life, seeking clarity over her sexuality, first kisses, a new school—and unusual ones, around coercive control, domestic abuse and all the shapes that betrayal can take.

Absolutely wonderful.

[Wren Boyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the story. The writing style was interesting - the writer was clearly playing with form a bit. It mostly worked but in a few places became a bit obscure so it wasn’t entirely clear what was happening.

I found Astrid’s reticence frustrating at times, but understandable in the circumstances.

The hardest thing to reconcile was why her dad would have allowed her to attend school at all in the first place.

[Cass A · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book begins with a dedication:
‘To my family and all the other survivors’
The first phrase is:
My house hides. My house is ordinary. This is how it hides.
Intriguing from the beginning and clearly written by someone who has experienced coercive control firsthand, ‘How to Be Normal’ explores the difficulties of pretending to be ‘normal’ while living in fear of the strict rules and emotional outbursts from a parent.
Highly recommended for mature readers in Year 9 and above.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a captivating narrative into Astrid’s world and the uncertainty and change that she faces, while discovering who she is. This book has some pretty heavy content, so probably not the best choice for the younger YA audience- though opens up many topics for discussion. The writing draws you in, and keeps your curiosity until the end. I’m not surprised this is an award winning book!

[Sandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

A slow-burn queer novel. A family living in fear of the father’s mental health outbursts. After her father loses his job, Astrid is no longer home-schooled and joins a mainstream school for her final year., making friends is difficult when you are being controlled by a parent.

[Gabrielle Reid · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been in a reading slump this year and picked this up on a whim, finished it in a couple of days which is a good sign of decent writing in my experience. I have a few nitpicks here and there but overall it's a good read on an important topic and I found the characters likeable.

[Anita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written. I feel it was aimed at high school students English or English literature classes. Covers controlling behaviour, finding and accepting yourself and fitting in. good themes, however I expect this a lot of teen books with these themes.

[rhi 2.0 · Rating 2 out of 5]

promising plot, shitty writing style.

[Farrells Bookshop · Rating 5 out of 5]

This beautiful, emotional, complex book was just unputdownable.
Following Astrid, who is about to start her last year of high school, which is also her first. For the first time she is able to figure out who she is and what she wants, slightly outside the tightly controlled world her father has set for her and her mum.

This is a very important and needed book, exploring what abuse can look like, in this case coercive control and emotional abuse, and how one can try to find their place and their self whilst having to balance a very precarious and unpredictable home life.
This novel also reinforces the need for community and community support, and continued education about different kinds of abuse.

I’m very glad this book exists and will hopefully find its way to those who need it most. How to Be Normal is going to be a must have addition to all high school libraries.

Read by Indy & Suzie