How to be Normal

by Ange Crawford

Winner of the inaugural Walker Books Manuscript Prize. With themes including coercive control, coming of age, and finding yourself, this debut authentically deals with timely issues with insight, sympathy and well crafted humour.

Astrid is about to start her last year at high school. And her first.
When her dad loses his job, Astrid’s homeschooling comes to an end. Until now, she has lived within the confines of a tightly controlled, contracted world where there's no room for anything … except following her father’s rules and pretending that everything is normal.
As Astrid, and her mum, tentatively expand their world, they struggle to break free of their ingrained wariness and self-doubt. But with hope, new friends, and the strength of a promise, Astrid has a chance to find out what she wants, who she loves, and who she really is.

Winner of the inaugural Walker Books Manuscript Prize, this is a brilliantly written YA debut that deftly explores timely issues with insight, humour and pathos.

Genres: Young Adult, Friendship, Realistic Fiction, Mental Health, Family, LGBT, School

337 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 5, 2025

About the author

Ange Crawford is a writer, editor, and PhD candidate living on unceded Wurundjeri land. She writes in many different styles, but her work is often connected by her enduring interests in queerness, art, language, storytelling, place(lessness), and coming of age.


source: Amazon

Reviews

[isobel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to read an ARC for this amazing upcoming YA story. We follow Astrid as she navigates her last year of school and new coming-of-age experiences, all while she deals with the coercion and control in her own home. An insightful book about finding freedom and one’s place in the world, in spite of all the uncertainties and everything against you. Excited for more people to get their hands on this!!

[Trisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hard to read. How many kids are going through this sort of thing.

Good representation.

[Get Your Tinsel in a Tangle · Rating 4 out of 5]

How to Be Normal is marketed like, oh sweet, homeschooled girl goes to high school for the first time in Year 12, awkward hijinks ensue. And yes, technically that is happening. Astrid is seventeen, stepping into a classroom for the first time after a lifetime of being homeschooled by her mum under her dad’s extremely rigid, tightly controlled regime.

But this is not a quirky fish out of water comedy. This is a girl trying to learn how to breathe in a house where the air is monitored.

Her father’s coercive control is the kind that makes you doubt your own memory. Nothing looks dramatic from the outside. No bruises. No screaming neighbors calling the cops. Just rules. Expectations. Tone shifts. The constant sense that one wrong move will tip the entire house sideways. Crawford captures that atmosphere of fear so well it feels like a horror novel without a single ghost. The house is “ordinary.” That’s the horror.

And then Astrid goes to school. Which, frankly, is already its own social war zone. Watching her try to make friends while carrying this invisible weight is both painful and painfully accurate. She edits herself constantly. Lies to protect her dad’s image. Shrinks her personality to avoid scrutiny. There’s this heartbreaking thread of her thinking she might just be fundamentally broken because she’s learned how to rearrange herself into whatever shape feels safest. That line about arranging herself in too many ways? Yeah. That one lingers.

I really appreciated how the book handles her sexuality too. It’s not some glitter cannon moment of instant clarity. It’s tentative. Curious. A little awkward. There’s queer representation that feels grounded in an Australian high school setting, including non binary and pan identities woven naturally into the friend group. It’s messy in a way that feels honest rather than performative, which I loved. Let teenagers be confused and figuring it out. That’s the whole point.

Also, the tension in this book? Wild. A slammed cupboard has the same energy as a jump scare in Hereditary. A missed call feels catastrophic. Every small domestic interaction is loaded. Crawford does this thing where even “normal” moments feel like they’re teetering on the edge of disaster. It’s exhausting to read in a very intentional way, because that’s what living in coercive control does. It drains you.

The ending and the aftermath felt a little compressed. There’s a lot of build up around the idea of leaving, the danger of leaving, the brother Nick having already escaped, and when things finally shift, I wanted more time in the rubble. More mess. More fallout. I was ready to sit in the uncomfortable process of rebuilding. Instead, it wraps a bit quicker than my emotionally nosy heart wanted.

There were also moments where the writing style leaned slightly abstract or on the nose. Sometimes that worked beautifully with the themes. Other times I found myself rereading a paragraph like, wait, are we being metaphorical or literal right now? It didn’t ruin the experience, but it occasionally pulled me out of the flow.

Still. This is a powerful debut. It tackles emotional abuse and coercive control in a way that feels necessary, especially in a YA space where that kind of violence can be minimized because it’s not physical. The book makes it clear that control is control, fear is fear, and the damage is real even when it’s invisible.

By the end, I just wanted Astrid to have a room with a lock that no one else controls. That’s it. That’s the bar. Freedom. Space. The right to decide who she is without someone else rewriting the script.

Three and a half stars. Messy, important, tense as hell, and emotionally sharp.

Whodunity Award: For Making a Closed Door More Terrifying Than a Body on the Floor

And a chaotic little thank you to Publisher Spotlight and NetGalley for the ARC. You handed me this “normal” looking book and it emotionally body slammed me in the quietest way possible. I will never look at a slammed cupboard the same again. Appreciate you for feeding my feelings.

[Leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really powerful look at domestic violence in the context of emotional abuse, isolation and coercive control. I think it’s easy for this form of domestic violence to be discounted because it doesn’t involve physical violence and is perhaps less overt, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still incredibly harmful. I wish we had seen more of the characters leaving and the steps involved, as well as the emotional impact and fall out as well as their growth afterwards, but damn this was powerful and such an important book to exist in the YA landscape given Australia’s current statistics around domestic violence. I appreciated how it highlighted the dangers associated with leaving such a relationship. The author did a fantastic job of creating tension and fear in the household and showing how even minor actions and interactions can be loaded and weighty when living in an abusive environment, as well as how abuse shapes how you interact with the world. A necessary story, beautifully and carefully written, and one I would encourage younger readers to engage with!

[Tia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Did the thing where I misunderstood the synopsis and thought this was about Astrid and her mother’s life opening up after leaving the abusive father, however, this is about their lives gradually opening up whilst still under the dad’s strict control. This was definitely hard to read about, as the content was heavy.

Mostly it was a good book, however sometimes I found the writing style a bit difficult to appreciate. 3.5 stars.

[madison kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was a surprisingly honest read. astrid's story was hard to read, but so important. the lgbtq+ discourse was well done, a tiny bit in your face but it felt real within context, and it was nice to see some non-binary & pan representation in an aussie setting. very heavy subject matter but very well written.

[Clare Snow · Rating 5 out of 5]

"After they're said, words are out of your control, and everything's already out of control."

[rhi !! · Rating 2 out of 5]

౨ৎ | ‘sometimes i worry that this is pretty clear evidence I am a broken person: i can arrange myself in far too many ways.’

— ★ 2.5/5

this had a beautiful story behind it, and how to cope with drastic changes and challenges in life. but i fear i just didn’t like the writing style, and i felt like there could have been more to the ending. but i did enjoy this regardless.

[Melissa Trevelion · Rating 4 out of 5]

How to be Normal by Australian author Ange Crawford is a heartfelt YA fiction debut.

Astrid has been home schooled her entire life, that is until her father loses his job, and she is now about to start high school. Little does she know how open her world will become as she realises the confines and control her father has over her and her mother. Will they be able to break free and live the life they want?

This mesmerizing story took me by surprise as I felt drawn in by the confident, crisp writing. The author wastes no time in introducing the reader to the complex world of Astrid and the authority she has lived by.

The cast of characters are sophisticated and memorable and developed to reflect the psychology of their age. The story is well-paced with emotionally charged scenes throughout the narrative, great dialogues, and a vivid setting.

The plot has many surprises for readers, and they will love Crawfords gift for sustaining their curiosity and keeping their eyes on the pages until the satisfying end. A miust read for all ages, I highly recommend.

[Crystal Palmisano-Dillard · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was going to be a story of a kind of weird girl trying to find a place to be herself, but got something a bit more serious than that.

Astrid has been home schooled for years but is not finishing out her secondary education by spending her senior year at a high school. She wants nothing more than to fit in and be "normal".

But she's not. Because there's something her mom is planning and her older sibling did, that Astrid is afraid of being left behind for. Girl is in survival mode this entire story as she plays the part she's required to.

[YSBR · Rating 4 out of 5]

Astrid is a young woman who has been homeschooled for most of her life. As the book opens, readers follow her through her senior year of public high school. In the beginning, most of the plot is driven by fish-out-of-water awkwardness, but it quickly becomes clear that Astrid’s life and universe have been shaped by an erratic, controlling and emotionally abusive father. How can one navigate the normalcies of high school - making friends, making music, performing in talent shows, going to friends’ houses, kissing a girl for the first time- while trying to placate the unpredictable monster who lives in your house? In the second half of the book the main thrust of the plot is the scheming with her mother required for the two of them to leave her father behind to start a new life. The last section of the book is very tense, but the thoughtful and grounded base it’s built on keeps it from seeming too much like gratuitous thrills. 

Astrid makes electronic music as her main creative outlet, and the way her creation and sharing of it is built into her character arc is one of the strongest aspects of the novel. We also become attuned to Astrid and her mother living with the cycle of abuse (honeymoon phase, tension building, explosion, reconciliation, repeat), while the father’s actual explosion always happens off-page so readers don’t witness that part of the traumatic experience. Astrid is white living in Australia and over the course of the novel discovers she is romantically attracted to girls, and is embraced by her queer sibling’s college friend group where we meet several LGBTQ characters in passing. Backmatter includes domestic violence hotlines and resources; the U.S. edition I reviewed had US resources even though the book takes place in Australia. Link to complete review: https://ysbookreviews.wordpress.com/2...

[Our Weekend Is Booked · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ange Crawford’s YA novel How to Be Normal is a riveting story about a teen discovering who she is outside of who her father expects her to be. The novel follows Astrid, a high school senior attending public school for the first time in years. Up until now, she has been homeschooled by her mother and trapped under the controlling, emotionally manipulative thumb of her father, which has kept her completely isolated and without friends. But when her father loses his job, Astrid’s mother returns to the workforce, and Astrid is forced to transition to public school.



Astrid’s goal is to just blend in, not draw attention to herself, and just be normal. But what does normal even mean? As she navigates this new world, Astrid struggles to learn how to be a good friend and let others in, constantly fearing that someone will discover the truth about her abusive father.



What I Liked: Right from the beginning, I wanted to understand more about Astrid’s family dynamics. At first, they appear to be a typical family, but you quickly realize that is only because Astrid and her mother walk on eggshells to avoid triggering her father’s outbursts. The coercive control escalates as the story progresses, creating a high level of tension that kept me completely hooked.

The characters in the book are so diverse and unapologetically themselves. Despite growing up sheltered under her father’s views, Astrid is very open-minded as she figures out her sexuality and explores her crush on her friend, Leila. She experiences so much personal growth, and as a reader, I was constantly hoping she would get her happy ending.

How to Be Normal is a heartbreaking and hopeful coming-of-age story that YA readers will relate to.

This review first appeared on YA Books Central and can be found here: https://yabookscentral.com/how-to-be-...

[Sometimes IRead · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s been almost a week since I finished this book so things aren’t as clear in my mind’s eye anymore. I really do need to stop doing this. Hopefully I do justice to the book!

How to be Normal by Ange Crawford gives us one of the worst social situations one can imagine, starting high school in one’s final year after years of being homeschooled. That’s exactly what happens to Astrid when her father loses his job, prompting her mom to return to the workforce and the end of her homeschooling journey. However, Astrid’s worries extend beyond fitting in at school, as things are far from peachy at home. Can she find a way to survive this final year and start life anew?

Adolescence is such a tricky period in one’s life. There’s a whole load of change and so many decisions that would literally affect the trajectory of one’s life. Yet, it’s also the time where there is the whisper of promise every where. Such an exciting time. Perhaps that’s why so many books are written about this time. Astrid’s journey of exploration and self-discovery was lovely to see and I think lovers of the Bildungsroman would enjoy this.

There is a trigger warning here though, for emotional abuse. I’m glad that Crawford chose this particular type of abuse to explore, as it doesn’t seem as dangerous or harmful as other abuse. Yet, Crawford shows us how pervasive such abuse can be, colouring every aspect of one’s life. Certain explanations were a little on the nose but I guess it still serves the message well. I just wish that we get to see more of the aftermath, because I think that the hardest part really is the picking up of the pieces. Still, this was a solid read!

Diversity in literature:
Strong female characters

[Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you so much to @walkerbooksaus for an ARC of this book.

This book really makes you think and think in a good way. We meet Astrid, who is starting their first year of schooling since being home schooled her entire life as per her fathers instruction. It is at high school that Astrid learns that the life her father crafted for their family is quite controlling and brings about the feeling of wariness and self-doubt. Throughout this book, both Astrid and her mum learn who they are and grow. They learn the freedom that is involved with making their own paths, the love that has been neglected, and the sense of community we all seek.

I can not express how this book made me feel vulnerable and made me cry and made me sit back and appreciate what I have. The balance of Astrid navigating her emotions and the tribulations of the outside world is outstandingly written.

This book is marked as YA, but please understand that the themes are a little dark and if you are planning to get this for a younger adult or family member to be present for the discussions that will no doubt arise.

[MICHEAL DOANE · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to be Normal by Ange Crawford is a young adult contemporary novel that explores identity formation under conditions of psychological restriction and emotional control. The narrative centers on Astrid, a protagonist transitioning from an isolated, tightly controlled home environment into the broader social world of adolescence.

The strength of the work lies in its focus on gradual psychological unravelling and reconstruction. As Astrid begins to engage with external relationships and social structures, the contrast between imposed “normality” and lived experience becomes increasingly central. Themes of coercive control, self-perception, and autonomy are handled through a grounded coming-of-age lens that emphasizes emotional realism over melodrama.

From a market perspective, the book aligns strongly with YA contemporary fiction that engages with mental health, identity development, and family dynamics. Its combination of accessibility, emotional clarity, and socially relevant themes positions it well for readers who gravitate toward character-driven narratives with psychological and developmental depth.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

How To Be Normal by Ange Crawford

I received a copy of How to be Normal by Ange Crawford from Better Reading to read for an honest review.

We follow Astrid who is navigating her last year of high school, new friendships and relationships, & turning 18 all the while dealing g with a coercive and controlling Father.

Astrid finds it difficult to fully open up to her new friendships, due to the circumstances of her home life, therefore finds that it’s easier to “lie” & not let her true self be seen by others due to the way things are with her Dad.

Astrid’s older brother Nick was able to escape the coercive control, and all throughout the story, there is talk of Astrid & her Mum escaping the abusive relationship also. Although, this does not happen until right at the end & not without further issues.

An eye opening read, that Adults along with YA should read.

[Sam Proietto · Rating 5 out of 5]

(10/10) I can't speak to whether this accurately conveyed the experience of coercive control, but I was completely hooked by the lurching tension the book made out of tiny moments and endless possibilities of oncoming panic. Astrid is a wonderful protagonist who, despite everything, spends the space of this book finding herself as a real, able and determined person.

A couple of the lower ratings of this book seem to be related to the writing style, and ordinarily I would not be hugely into something heavily woven with metaphor like this, but I found the execution really worked for me. The narration's tone is very introspective, regarding very abstract feelings, but never inaccessible - it put me very firmly in the mindset of the almost indefinable things Astrid experienced.

[Annette Heslin · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story of a seventeen-year-old girl Astrid who is no longer being home-schooled by her mother and is going to mainstream school.

After her father lost his employment, her mother found a job and is working to pay the bills.

But it isn't easy when your father is very domineering and has coercive control. The joy and freedom are simply not there.

This would have been a hard decision for Astrid's mother to make knowing there would be consequences. But for their own safety they had to escape that situation and leave their Husband and Father behind.

The sad reality is more of it goes on than what we see and realize.

[Carolina]

Thank you to Netgalley for this ARC in return for an honest review. This book was really tough to read. It does it's job well at creating emotion from reading a book in the perspective of a teen girl who must walk on eggshells in her tension filled family situation. As I read, I begged for a moment of relief one she was outside her home, or to see another side of her when not with her family. Unfortunately, it didn't feel like that came for me. I have experience with home schooled students and I hoped for a perspective, but this was less about homeschool and more about a controlling parent figure. This point of conflict seemed to take over the rest of the book.

[Carlyn Morenus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful coming of age novel focused on dealing with emotional abuse, coersive control, and domestic violence. Astrid has been homeschooled under the strict control of her father, but when circumstances change, she joins senior year at the public high school. Learning to navigate the outside world is confusing and difficult, but she finds a couple of friends and starts to realize that maybe there are other options for her. The situations are presented realistically and with sensitivity. Set in Australia, which is never stated, and difficult for an American to figure out until late in the book. A strong YA novel that should help readers understand the nuances of emotional abuse.

[Helen Farch · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an outstanding new YA book that will unfortunately resonate with far too many teens who have experienced the type of coersive control experienced by Astrid and her mother.

Written with so much heart, bravery, and yes... humour, this is a coming-of-age story where Astrid just wants to be normal, but instead finds that there is power in being unique.

Reading this my heart both broke... and soared... for Astrid.

Thanks to the Publisher for the review copy of this book.

[Lisa Tirreno · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favourite books so far for the year. It tackles some really tough subject matter sensitively and with just such utter grace and empathy. You feel so much for the MC, as she tackles some usual teen issues—wondering what to do with the rest of her life, seeking clarity over her sexuality, first kisses, a new school—and unusual ones, around coercive control, domestic abuse and all the shapes that betrayal can take.

Absolutely wonderful.

[Wren Boyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the story. The writing style was interesting - the writer was clearly playing with form a bit. It mostly worked but in a few places became a bit obscure so it wasn’t entirely clear what was happening.

I found Astrid’s reticence frustrating at times, but understandable in the circumstances.

The hardest thing to reconcile was why her dad would have allowed her to attend school at all in the first place.

[Cass A · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book begins with a dedication:
‘To my family and all the other survivors’
The first phrase is:
My house hides. My house is ordinary. This is how it hides.
Intriguing from the beginning and clearly written by someone who has experienced coercive control firsthand, ‘How to Be Normal’ explores the difficulties of pretending to be ‘normal’ while living in fear of the strict rules and emotional outbursts from a parent.
Highly recommended for mature readers in Year 9 and above.

[Orana Loren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a poignant novel that handles the topic of coercive control very sensitively. I think it could have a real impact on many young people's lives. I like that it subtly steers away from stereotypes about emotional abuse by focusing on the atmosphere of fear it creates, rather than specific incidents. It is also just a very immersive story with great characters and a compelling plot. I rarely read YA, but I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

[Bailey Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

How To Be Normal is a heartbreaking, stunning, delicate, emotional, and powerful middle grade/tween novel! This book beautifully showcases coming of age, coercive control, and finding one's voice. It is a book that was hard to read in the best way with its mix of lighthearted discovery and heavy toxic relationships. Sometimes you don't realize something it's normal/okay until you step out of isolation.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a captivating narrative into Astrid’s world and the uncertainty and change that she faces, while discovering who she is. This book has some pretty heavy content, so probably not the best choice for the younger YA audience- though opens up many topics for discussion. The writing draws you in, and keeps your curiosity until the end. I’m not surprised this is an award winning book!

[Sandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

A slow-burn queer novel. A family living in fear of the father’s mental health outbursts. After her father loses his job, Astrid is no longer home-schooled and joins a mainstream school for her final year., making friends is difficult when you are being controlled by a parent.

[Gabrielle Reid · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been in a reading slump this year and picked this up on a whim, finished it in a couple of days which is a good sign of decent writing in my experience. I have a few nitpicks here and there but overall it's a good read on an important topic and I found the characters likeable.

[Anita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written. I feel it was aimed at high school students English or English literature classes. Covers controlling behaviour, finding and accepting yourself and fitting in. good themes, however I expect this a lot of teen books with these themes.