I Knew a Man Who Knew Brahms

by Nancy Shear

A vivid personal account of a Golden Age in classical music—the second half of the 20th century—providing a rare, behind-the-scenes view of the inner workings of a top symphony orchestra.

Nancy Shear was only fifteen when she began sneaking into Philadelphia Orchestra concerts through the stage door, and seventeen when she was hired as a member of the orchestra’s library staff to help prepare the music; one year later, she became Leopold Stokowski’s musical assistant. Being young and female, she was a pioneer in both positions.

I Knew a Man Who Knew Brahms takes readers into the homes, studios, and minds of legendary artists with whom Shear shared close personal relationships, including Stokowski, Mstislav Rostropovich, Eugene Ormandy, and others with the Philadelphia Orchestra. Many of these brilliant and talented artists were also outrageous, egocentric, and tyrannical. Throughout this book, Shear topples more than a few revered musicians from their podiums and their pedestals.

A literary welcome mat to the beautiful world of classical music, this memoir is accessible and engaging for all. It brings readers into rehearsals and concert halls, revealing the choices musicians must consider, and what conductors, players, and composers really do.

A heartwarming story about passion, determination, and survival, I Knew a Man Who Knew Brahms explores music at its core. No reader will ever listen to music the same way again.

Genres: Music, Audiobook

320 pages, Hardcover

First published June 10, 2025

Reviews

[CatReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nancy Shear developed a love of classical music and orchestral performance as a teenager in the 1960s, and she worked for years as orchestra librarian for the Philadelphia Orchestra, as well as a private librarian for many prominent conductors and musicians of that era. Her 2025 memoir I Knew a Man Who Knew Brahms recounts these formative years, including many personal anecdotes of the conductor Leopold Stokowski (1882-1977) with whom Shear had an intimate (in every sense) relationship despite a very large age gap that made me uncomfortable to read about. I gave up on this book at around the 2/3 mark as it's largely recounting minutiae and other inconsequential, often inappropriate stories about prominent names in orchestral music of that era, topics for which I have no continuing interest.

My statistics:
Book 288 for 2025
Book 2214 cumulatively

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I flew through this memoir, relishing the author’s stories about Leopold Stokowski, the Philadelphia Orchestra, Mstislav Rostropovich, and Eugene Ormandy.

Nancy Shear first saw Stokowski perform in 1960 at the Robin Hood Dell in Philadelphia, an outdoor venue with free tickets available through the newspaper. The fourteen-year-old had first seen the Maestro in Fantasia when she was four. (Fantasia had been my introduction to classical music when I was about the same age!) She soon was sneaking into the Academy of Music’s Friday afternoon concerts, usually finding the patrial view seat behind a column empty. One day Eugene Ormandy, noting she was always at the stage door steps, took her inside and arranged for her to have a ticket.

Shear hung around backstage, getting autographs and talking to the players and soloists,. She came to know the librarian and as a teenager was hired as his assistant, leading to work personally with Stokowski and a career. In those days, changes in the scores were made by hand, and had to be erased before returning the music.

Behind Shear’s exciting life and love for classical music was a dysfunctional and traumatic home life.

Stokowski became her mentor and a father figure, their friendship deepening with love and mutual respect. She kept her personal life separate from her relationship with the Maestro, and while working for the Philadelphia Orchestra had to hide her work for Stokowski from the jealous Ormandy. She traveled to New York City to do personal work for Stokowski.

The orchestra staff protected her from conductors and musicians known to be womanizers. She did become especially attached to ‘Slava’ Rostropovich, even traveling to the Soviet Union to find him when he was in danger for his activism, not contacting him directly but exchanging glances after his concert.

I think he needed adulation more than love. on Leopold Stokowski from I Knew a Man who Knew Brahams by Nancy Shear

Stokowski wove an imagined biography, creating an exotic persona; even his three wives didn’t know his true origins. He practised yoga! Shear shares what she knows about his early life and family.

An interesting aspect of the memoir informs about Stokowski’s conducting style and his love of “music of the heart.” He would change what was written and add instruments to achieve the sound and emotion he desired in the music. “Music is not always beautiful!” he said; “Sometimes it is ugly!” He allowed free bowing of the string players to provide a legato sound–the famous ‘Philadelphia Sound’.

He was an early promoter of new music and he left the Philadelphia Orchestra after twenty years because he was not given the freedom to include it. He also supported hiring women and people of color in orchestras.

Shear’s stories brought back memories. We had been to the Dell a few times before it was replaced by a new outdoor amphitheater, which we frequented. We loved going to the Academy of Music, first under Eugene Ormandy and then Riccardo Muti. First, we bought ‘nosebleed gallery’ tickets; later we had bought season tickets. Shear graduated in 1972 from Temple University; I graduated from Temple in 1978. She worked at the Curtis Institute of Music; my husband worked across the street for a few years. Even her mentioning going to Brooks Brothers with Slava recalled our shopping trips there.

At once a gossipy page-turner and an informative memoir, classical music fans will love this book.

Thanks to the publisher for a free book through NetGalley.

[Irene · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't review this book without revealing far too much about myself. It's a new favourite.

[Amys Bookshelf Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nancy Shear writes an intriguing memoir in I Knew a Man Who Knew Brahms

I Knew a Man Who Knew Brahms is a very intriguing book. You don't have to know or indulge in classical music to enjoy it. However, I may not be an aficionado, but I do enjoy classical music, pretty much any type of music. This is the first book I have read from this author. It's one of those memoirs that has a theme, and that theme is the author's life, loving and breathing classical music. Nancy Shear started at an early age, and writes vividly about her life, and how music led her way, kept her on her direct path. By the time she was 18, she was Leopold Stokowski’s musical assistant. The depth that she writes, you can just feel her passion, and not only was she passionate, she led the way for other young women. You can imagine yourself in rehearsals, and grand orchestras playing in the background, while sharing in Nancy's personal journey. Not only do you dive in head first into Nancy's life, you share her reflections, and journeys, as she continues to grow. A memoir with not just living her dream, but anecdotes, insights and reflection on a life lived, and how music is something powerful, no matter what you listen to, and why you listen to it. And, if you play it, even more, it's transforming. This is one of those books that grabs you from the start and pulls you in. Some of the pages, you end up reading slower than others, so not to miss anything. If you haven't listened to classical music, or so you think, try it. Some may remind you of things, you never thought was actually classical music. I Knew a Man Who Knew Brahms is a definite recommendation by Amy's Bookshelf Reviews. I read this book to give my unbiased and honest review. Amy's Bookshelf Reviews recommends that readers of this book, be kind, and also write a review.

[Beth Schenker · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have any interest in classical music, this book is for you. In "I Knew a Man Who Knew Brahms" Nancy Shear, the author of this intimate memoir, shares her love and dedication to the world of classical music and the influential men that shaped her world.

Shear reminds us of a time when one could 'sneak' into symphony rehearsals and come in direct contact with the conductors and soloists. This was a time when you could work your way into free concert tickets, hang out with the musicians and staff and find yourself hired as a professional to be part of symphony life. All it took was a deep love for the music, a lot of persistence and a big dose of gumption.

Shear has a most engaging writing style. I appreciated the way she told her personal story and shared her knowledge about aspects of her work taught us a lot about music all at the samway of both sharing her personal story and how it shaped and influenced her life and educating us about that happens backstage.

Trust me, once you start, you won't want to put the book down!

[Anjali · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmmm, this is a tough one to review. On the one hand, I enjoyed the way Shear wrote about music, and her reminiscences of great musicians, most of all her beloved Stokowski, were fascinating. On the other hand, there was a lot of ick, most of all with her cultish devotion to Stokowski and her almost complete dismissal of the huge age and power gap between them. In all, I'm glad I read this, as Shear had an unparalleled access to some remarkable musicians of the twentieth century who are no longer with us, but I'm also left feeling, sorry for the repetition, a huge level of ick.

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

The only reason I rated the book with two stars is I did learn a lot about orchestras and, specifically, conductors. I also found the segments on being an orchestra librarian and "marking up" the parts and scores fascinating. The stories of Shear's relationship with Stokowski and others reek of sycophancy and cult-worship.

[Andrew Spitznas · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting look inside the running of a major orchestra, as well as the lives of a few major figures in 20th C classical music (Stoki, Ormandy, Slava). Freud would have a field day with Shear's attraction to godlike older men, but props to her for living her best life in a misogynistic age and vocation.

[Stephen Wahrhaftig]

Very good and candid memoir. The music taste observations should be taken with some salt, but otherwise a very good read.