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To Have and Have More
"
There's no such thing as a nice rich kid.
"
Told through the eyes of a Korean girl adopted into a wealthy white family, this darkly funny debut explores casual racism, privilege, and the complexities of friendship.
Derrymore Academy, circa 2007, is home to teenagers who have their eyebrows shaped and their sweet sixteens tented. Their first kisses arrive around the same time as their boating licenses and they celebrate getting their braces off with Mediterranean vacations. It is here that Emery Hooper, adopted at birth into the country club set, thrives.
The one blight on her otherwise perfect life? Lilah Chang. The Chinese-American student is the embarrassing epitome of every Asian stereotype Emery despises—and is inexplicably determined to become Emery's friend.
Lilah is both astounded and hopelessly self-conscious around the casual wealth at Derrymore, where students treat laptops as disposable and weekend spending is limited only by imagination and audacity. Desperate to fit in, she's fascinated by an Asian girl who is somehow wholly comfortable in a white world.
When Emery's wealth isn't enough to protect her from increasing microaggressions, Lilah and Emery develop a complicated friendship that tentatively unites them against the undercurrent of white privilege at their school. As they speed toward graduation and Ivy League applications, Lilah and Emery circle around the truth that still irrevocably separates them: With enough money, actions don't have consequences.
Told through the eyes of a Korean girl adopted into a wealthy white family, this darkly funny debut explores casual racism, privilege, and the complexities of friendship.
Derrymore Academy, circa 2007, is home to teenagers who have their eyebrows shaped and their sweet sixteens tented. Their first kisses arrive around the same time as their boating licenses and they celebrate getting their braces off with Mediterranean vacations. It is here that Emery Hooper, adopted at birth into the country club set, thrives.
The one blight on her otherwise perfect life? Lilah Chang. The Chinese-American student is the embarrassing epitome of every Asian stereotype Emery despises—and is inexplicably determined to become Emery's friend.
Lilah is both astounded and hopelessly self-conscious around the casual wealth at Derrymore, where students treat laptops as disposable and weekend spending is limited only by imagination and audacity. Desperate to fit in, she's fascinated by an Asian girl who is somehow wholly comfortable in a white world.
When Emery's wealth isn't enough to protect her from increasing microaggressions, Lilah and Emery develop a complicated friendship that tentatively unites them against the undercurrent of white privilege at their school. As they speed toward graduation and Ivy League applications, Lilah and Emery circle around the truth that still irrevocably separates them: With enough money, actions don't have consequences.
368 pages, Hardcover
First published April 15, 2025
63 people are currently reading
10647 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 138 reviews
May 20, 2025
In the painfully familiar setting of Derrymore—a New England boarding school indistinguishable from its fictional predecessors—Sanibel Lazar offers what amounts to a recycled checklist of privileged-teen tropes.
Emery Hooper, an adopted Asian protagonist whose character development rarely transcends her racial identity, navigates a world of Hermès scarves and chain restaurant takeout that feels assembled from boarding school story spare parts.
Sanibel's attempts at cleverness fall flat. When Emery's mother delivers her catchphrase—"I'll see what I can do"—we're meant to feel the machinery of privilege, but instead get ham-fisted commentary. The novel's central conceit around college essays ("You must speak from the bilious heart of earnestness") might have felt fresh a decade ago but now reads like a TikTok hot take stretched into novel form.
The character dynamics prove equally predictable. Lilah serves as Emery's obvious foil, her accusation against a teacher triggering the standard "institutions protect themselves" narrative we've seen in everything from "Gossip Girl" to "Dead Poets Society."
The supposedly pivotal anonymous note ("They only like you because you pretend to be rich and white") leads to Emery's inevitable villainy when she weaponizes daddy's influence during application season—a character arc so telegraphed you could set your watch by it.
The dialogue that carries the novel ranges from juvenile insults ("Why are your knees so dirty? You slut!") to greeting-card wisdom ("The only reason someone wouldn't like you is that they don't know you"). This book feels like being trapped in a dorm common room with characters you'd actively avoid in real life.
In a landscape crowded with similar works, this novel suffers from all comparisons: The Secret History minus suspense, Normal People without emotional depth, and The Great Gatsby filtered through Instagram captions. Lazar's writing desperately wants to be Sally Rooney but is closer to YA that thinks dropping brand names constitutes social commentary.
Racism appears throughout—overtly when a student suggests they "exchange [Emery] for an African baby" and insidiously when we learn Emery's adoption conveniently coincided with her father's Korean business expansion. That Lazar leaves this potentially interesting theme underdeveloped is just one of many narrative dead ends that plague the book, suggesting either a lack of commitment or, worse, a cynical use of serious issues as mere aesthetic choices.
The novel tries to make the profound point that identity has become a product, but this observation was fresher when Holden Caulfield complained about phonies. To Have and Have More doesn't observe privilege so much as it observes other, better books about privilege and attempts to mimic them. The boarding school setting offers nothing we haven't seen in every privileged-brats-behaving-badly story.
The ending—which I won't spoil, though nothing about it will surprise you—purports to serve as ironic commentary but feels more like a creative writing workshop exercise than a meaningful conclusion. When personal trauma becomes the ultimate commodity, what remains authentic? Lazar offers no original answers to this admittedly important question.
By the time the protagonist weaponizes daddy's influence during application season, you'll find yourself rooting not just for community college acceptance letters but for the book to finally end.
Perhaps the most damning truth isn't within the novel but about it: we keep consuming these narratives while claiming to critique them, and writers keep producing them because they sell. In that circular economy of faux-critique, the only unforgettable thing is how forgettable the whole exercise has become.
Emery Hooper, an adopted Asian protagonist whose character development rarely transcends her racial identity, navigates a world of Hermès scarves and chain restaurant takeout that feels assembled from boarding school story spare parts.
Sanibel's attempts at cleverness fall flat. When Emery's mother delivers her catchphrase—"I'll see what I can do"—we're meant to feel the machinery of privilege, but instead get ham-fisted commentary. The novel's central conceit around college essays ("You must speak from the bilious heart of earnestness") might have felt fresh a decade ago but now reads like a TikTok hot take stretched into novel form.
The character dynamics prove equally predictable. Lilah serves as Emery's obvious foil, her accusation against a teacher triggering the standard "institutions protect themselves" narrative we've seen in everything from "Gossip Girl" to "Dead Poets Society."
The supposedly pivotal anonymous note ("They only like you because you pretend to be rich and white") leads to Emery's inevitable villainy when she weaponizes daddy's influence during application season—a character arc so telegraphed you could set your watch by it.
The dialogue that carries the novel ranges from juvenile insults ("Why are your knees so dirty? You slut!") to greeting-card wisdom ("The only reason someone wouldn't like you is that they don't know you"). This book feels like being trapped in a dorm common room with characters you'd actively avoid in real life.
In a landscape crowded with similar works, this novel suffers from all comparisons: The Secret History minus suspense, Normal People without emotional depth, and The Great Gatsby filtered through Instagram captions. Lazar's writing desperately wants to be Sally Rooney but is closer to YA that thinks dropping brand names constitutes social commentary.
Racism appears throughout—overtly when a student suggests they "exchange [Emery] for an African baby" and insidiously when we learn Emery's adoption conveniently coincided with her father's Korean business expansion. That Lazar leaves this potentially interesting theme underdeveloped is just one of many narrative dead ends that plague the book, suggesting either a lack of commitment or, worse, a cynical use of serious issues as mere aesthetic choices.
The novel tries to make the profound point that identity has become a product, but this observation was fresher when Holden Caulfield complained about phonies. To Have and Have More doesn't observe privilege so much as it observes other, better books about privilege and attempts to mimic them. The boarding school setting offers nothing we haven't seen in every privileged-brats-behaving-badly story.
The ending—which I won't spoil, though nothing about it will surprise you—purports to serve as ironic commentary but feels more like a creative writing workshop exercise than a meaningful conclusion. When personal trauma becomes the ultimate commodity, what remains authentic? Lazar offers no original answers to this admittedly important question.
By the time the protagonist weaponizes daddy's influence during application season, you'll find yourself rooting not just for community college acceptance letters but for the book to finally end.
Perhaps the most damning truth isn't within the novel but about it: we keep consuming these narratives while claiming to critique them, and writers keep producing them because they sell. In that circular economy of faux-critique, the only unforgettable thing is how forgettable the whole exercise has become.
February 13, 2025
I’m pleasantly surprised. Although this is tagged as adult fiction it reads as YA. I don’t say that disparagingly, just as an FYI. I generally don’t read YA, but once I got into this book, it just kept growing on me, it became increasingly fun and funny. Quite an enjoyable look into the boarding school world.
Sanibel writes with a witty knowing prose, she has obviously spent some time in this world. Emery, is the protagonist of this fast paced novel, We meet her in middle school as an accomplished and bright, popular student on her way to Derrymore, an elitist mostly white and old monied boarding school.
Emery is a flawed individual, she acts as though she is above it all, but desperately wants to be admired and viewed as top notch. One of the roadblocks she encounters is she isn’t white, although her adoptive parents are, and quite active donors and voices at Derrymore, which provides her a status almost unrivaled.
Her parents are top of the food chain people who always manage to get what they want, and though Emery is still trying to figure out her relationship to richness, she is a conniving, self-centered, life-by-the-check-box witch. She doesn’t really form true friends, because she stays focused on the bottom line. Which for Emery means, how can this relationship help me or hinder my march to top popularity.
Sanibel has a lot too say about the haves and the have much mores. She also makes insightful remarks about Asian culture and Chinese vs. Korean idiosyncrasies. Lilah is a sycophant but as the novel progresses, she becomes less of one and finds her own voice and confidence. Her interaction and relationship with Emery make up the bulk of this novel, and though I thought we were heading for an explosive conclusion, the ending ultimately proved to be anti-climactic. Thanks to Netgalley and 8th Note press for an advanced DRC. Book will hit shelves in April 2025. A very pleasant surprise awaits readers who embrace this novel.
Sanibel writes with a witty knowing prose, she has obviously spent some time in this world. Emery, is the protagonist of this fast paced novel, We meet her in middle school as an accomplished and bright, popular student on her way to Derrymore, an elitist mostly white and old monied boarding school.
Emery is a flawed individual, she acts as though she is above it all, but desperately wants to be admired and viewed as top notch. One of the roadblocks she encounters is she isn’t white, although her adoptive parents are, and quite active donors and voices at Derrymore, which provides her a status almost unrivaled.
Her parents are top of the food chain people who always manage to get what they want, and though Emery is still trying to figure out her relationship to richness, she is a conniving, self-centered, life-by-the-check-box witch. She doesn’t really form true friends, because she stays focused on the bottom line. Which for Emery means, how can this relationship help me or hinder my march to top popularity.
Sanibel has a lot too say about the haves and the have much mores. She also makes insightful remarks about Asian culture and Chinese vs. Korean idiosyncrasies. Lilah is a sycophant but as the novel progresses, she becomes less of one and finds her own voice and confidence. Her interaction and relationship with Emery make up the bulk of this novel, and though I thought we were heading for an explosive conclusion, the ending ultimately proved to be anti-climactic. Thanks to Netgalley and 8th Note press for an advanced DRC. Book will hit shelves in April 2025. A very pleasant surprise awaits readers who embrace this novel.
March 7, 2025
This book was SO well done. I devoured the last half of it and couldn't get enough.
I loved the academia setting, the backstabbing, the fake friends, and the teenage angst. Reading almost like a YA but delivered in the best possible way, To Have and Have More would be a phenomenal book club choice.
From page one the casual racism had me cringing and while there were more than a few times I was uncomfortable, it felt good to embrace that discomfort. It gave me the merest glimpse into what so many individuals must face every day. It was eye opening and enlightening and Sanibel really nailed the delivery.
Emery and Lilah are such stellar characters. I think we've all known a Lilah and Emery at some points in our lives, and maybe in some ways, we're like them. Maybe we desperately wanted to fit in, or fit in but felt like a shell of our real selves, whoever that might be. Sanibel pushed the envelope in making us think inwardly, while keeping the focus on well-developed and complex characters.
I think what I loved most about this book is it throws away your standard arc. You expect one thing to happen and maybe it sort of does, but then it goes in an entirely different direction. I loved how everything played out. It all just felt so real. Sanibel, did you live this?!
If this book isn't on your radar, it needs to be. It's quick, it's witty, it's uncomfortable, a little bit shocking, and a whole lot brave. Don't miss it!
Thank you to 8th Note Press for the copy. Very highly recommend.
I loved the academia setting, the backstabbing, the fake friends, and the teenage angst. Reading almost like a YA but delivered in the best possible way, To Have and Have More would be a phenomenal book club choice.
From page one the casual racism had me cringing and while there were more than a few times I was uncomfortable, it felt good to embrace that discomfort. It gave me the merest glimpse into what so many individuals must face every day. It was eye opening and enlightening and Sanibel really nailed the delivery.
Emery and Lilah are such stellar characters. I think we've all known a Lilah and Emery at some points in our lives, and maybe in some ways, we're like them. Maybe we desperately wanted to fit in, or fit in but felt like a shell of our real selves, whoever that might be. Sanibel pushed the envelope in making us think inwardly, while keeping the focus on well-developed and complex characters.
I think what I loved most about this book is it throws away your standard arc. You expect one thing to happen and maybe it sort of does, but then it goes in an entirely different direction. I loved how everything played out. It all just felt so real. Sanibel, did you live this?!
If this book isn't on your radar, it needs to be. It's quick, it's witty, it's uncomfortable, a little bit shocking, and a whole lot brave. Don't miss it!
Thank you to 8th Note Press for the copy. Very highly recommend.
March 18, 2025
Gossip Girl but make it Asian American.
This was a good throwback to the days when Gossip Girl was popular. Fellow Millennials, iykyk.
The tone is matter of fact at times, with a bit of snark and introspection to pepper the narrative. I really liked the two FMCs, Emery and Lilah. They were both great foils to each other and provided a good contrast between the ultra-rich and the middle class at an elite boarding school. Can money really buy happiness? Does hard work lead to success, or is it all about the connections you have?
I won't lie. The first half of this book was standard fare high school drama. It wasn't really all too gripping, and I was desperately trying to find the satirical bent. I wanted more snark, in an "xoxo Gossip Girl" kind of way. The narration threw in bits and pieces of this, but it wasn't enough to whet my appetite.
The second half was miles better, since the story started to focus a lot more on Emery and Lilah's friendship, as Lilah helped Emery lean into her Asian heritage. It felt very true to life. (I'm saying this as a 1.5 gen Asian American who knows Asian American adoptees with white parents.) And even more true to life, the twist at the end regarding their friendship felt very real.
Overall, I had a decent time. But I wish it really leaned into the ridiculousness and absurdity of a satirical novel, one where I could snort out loud and share one-liners and particular details with a close friend so we could reminisce about our time in high school or college surrounded by rich kids.
Thank you to 8th Note Press and NetGalley for this arc.
This was a good throwback to the days when Gossip Girl was popular. Fellow Millennials, iykyk.
The tone is matter of fact at times, with a bit of snark and introspection to pepper the narrative. I really liked the two FMCs, Emery and Lilah. They were both great foils to each other and provided a good contrast between the ultra-rich and the middle class at an elite boarding school. Can money really buy happiness? Does hard work lead to success, or is it all about the connections you have?
I won't lie. The first half of this book was standard fare high school drama. It wasn't really all too gripping, and I was desperately trying to find the satirical bent. I wanted more snark, in an "xoxo Gossip Girl" kind of way. The narration threw in bits and pieces of this, but it wasn't enough to whet my appetite.
The second half was miles better, since the story started to focus a lot more on Emery and Lilah's friendship, as Lilah helped Emery lean into her Asian heritage. It felt very true to life. (I'm saying this as a 1.5 gen Asian American who knows Asian American adoptees with white parents.) And even more true to life, the twist at the end regarding their friendship felt very real.
Overall, I had a decent time. But I wish it really leaned into the ridiculousness and absurdity of a satirical novel, one where I could snort out loud and share one-liners and particular details with a close friend so we could reminisce about our time in high school or college surrounded by rich kids.
Thank you to 8th Note Press and NetGalley for this arc.
Read
May 7, 2025I need to stop thinking that great cultural analysis skills translate to literary skills, this is my second time making that mistake 😭
March 9, 2025
2.5 or 3 stars
I really struggled to get through this. I understood and admired what the author was doing and the themes explored. Class divides, privilege, wealth, the Korean American experience, racism, high school struggles, fitting in. But the writing felt so choppy and didn’t flow for me. There was a lot of redundancy concerning wealth and lots of specific little details that made it feel like it was dragging on. I didn’t like any of the characters or feel anything towards them. They felt more like caricatures, than dynamic characters. This one just wasn’t for me.
I really struggled to get through this. I understood and admired what the author was doing and the themes explored. Class divides, privilege, wealth, the Korean American experience, racism, high school struggles, fitting in. But the writing felt so choppy and didn’t flow for me. There was a lot of redundancy concerning wealth and lots of specific little details that made it feel like it was dragging on. I didn’t like any of the characters or feel anything towards them. They felt more like caricatures, than dynamic characters. This one just wasn’t for me.
June 1, 2025
Very touching, honest, and raw. How can others treat someone so shabbily and still maintain they love someone who never harmed them in the first place. Tears at the fragile fabric holding us together. What is your impression?
March 18, 2025
Best Friend Review
Homer. Virgil. SANIBEL. To Have and Have More is a masterful debut novel that cements Sanibel's status among the mononymous greats.
I devoured this book in one sitting like I was Joey Chestnut shoveling hot dogs down my throat in Coney Island--with no water.
Sanibel's debut is a sharp, darkly funny exploration of wealth, race, and privilege set at Derrymore Academy, where kids have black cards before they have blackheads.
This review has (mostly) been written of my own volition. I received an ARC from the author--and read early drafts before it was sold and also have been listening to Sanibel talk about this for the past 10 years of my life, so I'm very excited to see this out in the world so we can finally move on and I can ride her coattails.
If you love scathing satires that comment on race, class, and identity, then this is the book for you--and actually so is my award-winning short film, Whitewash, which is currently in its festival circuit (feel free to DM me for a link, especially if your name ends with -ong Joon Ho). But I digress—
This novel is set in such a richly imagined world that it practically begs to be adapted into a TV series for streamers like Netflix or Max. And speaking of TV, if there are any execs here conveniently looking to staff writers, feel free to also slide into my DMs (I, too, am a very talented writer; some might also even say, mononym-worthy).
Anyway, I can't wait for Sanibel to publish her next novel (so she’ll stop asking me for notes)—and see who she satirizes next (thank god it’s not me).
Homer. Virgil. SANIBEL. To Have and Have More is a masterful debut novel that cements Sanibel's status among the mononymous greats.
I devoured this book in one sitting like I was Joey Chestnut shoveling hot dogs down my throat in Coney Island--with no water.
Sanibel's debut is a sharp, darkly funny exploration of wealth, race, and privilege set at Derrymore Academy, where kids have black cards before they have blackheads.
This review has (mostly) been written of my own volition. I received an ARC from the author--and read early drafts before it was sold and also have been listening to Sanibel talk about this for the past 10 years of my life, so I'm very excited to see this out in the world so we can finally move on and I can ride her coattails.
If you love scathing satires that comment on race, class, and identity, then this is the book for you--and actually so is my award-winning short film, Whitewash, which is currently in its festival circuit (feel free to DM me for a link, especially if your name ends with -ong Joon Ho). But I digress—
This novel is set in such a richly imagined world that it practically begs to be adapted into a TV series for streamers like Netflix or Max. And speaking of TV, if there are any execs here conveniently looking to staff writers, feel free to also slide into my DMs (I, too, am a very talented writer; some might also even say, mononym-worthy).
Anyway, I can't wait for Sanibel to publish her next novel (so she’ll stop asking me for notes)—and see who she satirizes next (thank god it’s not me).
February 6, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC!
Sanibel writes a striking satirical tale set in the private school world of privilege and prejudice. With a group of unlikable yet sadly realistic caricatures found within this setting, it achieves the goal of creating an uncomfortable environment. Great debut!
I do wish the ending packed a bit more a satisfying punch. I can't help but feel as if the water was boiling hot, tensions at an all high, and then the stove was turned off.
Heavy with microaggressions frequently occurring to our characters of color. So this one is on me for maybe not reading it when I felt in a better headspace.
Sanibel writes a striking satirical tale set in the private school world of privilege and prejudice. With a group of unlikable yet sadly realistic caricatures found within this setting, it achieves the goal of creating an uncomfortable environment. Great debut!
I do wish the ending packed a bit more a satisfying punch. I can't help but feel as if the water was boiling hot, tensions at an all high, and then the stove was turned off.
Heavy with microaggressions frequently occurring to our characters of color. So this one is on me for maybe not reading it when I felt in a better headspace.
July 24, 2025
I have literally so many good things to say about this book that I don’t know where to start.
I guess, first, this book reminds me of “Sad Girls” by Lang Leav (in the best way possible) in that it’s also very poetic in its own right.
Second, I found myself rooting for and disgusted by both protagonists (is there a literary term to describe two main characters who are equally good and also flawed?).
Third, the friendships — if you can call some of them that — so gently ebbed and flowed that it felt like I was witnessing high school cliques all over again.
Fourth, I’m immediately adding this to my “must reread” list. Goodreads, make it happen.
I guess, first, this book reminds me of “Sad Girls” by Lang Leav (in the best way possible) in that it’s also very poetic in its own right.
Second, I found myself rooting for and disgusted by both protagonists (is there a literary term to describe two main characters who are equally good and also flawed?).
Third, the friendships — if you can call some of them that — so gently ebbed and flowed that it felt like I was witnessing high school cliques all over again.
Fourth, I’m immediately adding this to my “must reread” list. Goodreads, make it happen.
June 22, 2025
Reading this was a thought provoking experience that confronted important themes of race, privilege, and the misalignment of appearance and identity. Though I felt the storyline was rather cliché and not your typical page turner, the lines offered moments of reflection on the many layers of power dynamics that exist within our society. The story was a realistic depiction of the stages of adolescent friendships and experiences, and it was a breath of fresh air to read something so relatable in message, yet so unrelatable regarding the world it was contextualised in. Would highly recommend if you need some harsh truths to mull over.
May 28, 2025
Love this read! Reminds me of the gossip girl spinoffs when Jenny went to boarding school.
There are so many things I enjoyed about this title. First of all, I like the friendship between Emory and Lila. Sanibel did a great job portraying a realistic friendship, and how annoying Emory found it to become close to someone “just because” they’re both Asian.
I also think the story showed both of the girls’ perspectives very well and portrayed the differences in their worlds accurately.
Sanibel also did a phenomenal portrayal of how rich kids relate to each other, to their wealth, and to “scholarship kids.” As someone who has experienced it myself, I thought it was very realistic.
This story is a great read for immigrants of any background, and illustrates the hierarchies we enter and participate in a new society.
I love the ending, too! Verrrry realistic for the type of consequences people face. As one of my favorite quotes goes, to paraphrase, “We are all equal. And some of us are more equal than others”
There are so many things I enjoyed about this title. First of all, I like the friendship between Emory and Lila. Sanibel did a great job portraying a realistic friendship, and how annoying Emory found it to become close to someone “just because” they’re both Asian.
I also think the story showed both of the girls’ perspectives very well and portrayed the differences in their worlds accurately.
Sanibel also did a phenomenal portrayal of how rich kids relate to each other, to their wealth, and to “scholarship kids.” As someone who has experienced it myself, I thought it was very realistic.
This story is a great read for immigrants of any background, and illustrates the hierarchies we enter and participate in a new society.
I love the ending, too! Verrrry realistic for the type of consequences people face. As one of my favorite quotes goes, to paraphrase, “We are all equal. And some of us are more equal than others”
March 26, 2025
ARC Review To Have and Have More by Sanibel
Publication Date: April 15/25
At first, I thought l this might be another “mean girls” story about privilege and I wasn’t sure this would resonate with me. But as Sanibel skillfully layered in issues like interracial adoption, racism, casual racism, micro aggressions, belonging, and the feeling of being an outsider, I found myself connecting to this story.
The story offers a deep dive into the complex world of privilege and hierarchy at Derrymore Academy, a prestigious boarding school. It revolves around the unlikely friendship between Emery, a Korean girl adopted by wealthy white parents, who shuns her Korean identity and all things Asian; and Lilah, a brilliant but insecure middle-class Chinese American student who is fascinated but overwhelmed by the wealth surrounding her.
Emery identifies as white, and has tried to shield herself from racism by distancing herself from anything that may highlight
her Asian background. However her worldview is shattered once she becomes aware of the stereotypes, micro aggressions and offensive remarks and questions surrounding her. Once her eyes are opened, she can’t return to her previous state of ignorance, but she also doesn’t feel comfortable embracing being Korean. This raises a compelling question, who is she now?
Lilah is a passionate student, who struggles under the weight of her parents high expectations for her to achieve academically, as a way to honor the sacrifices they made for her by immigrating. Without the privilege of wealth, she feels out of place and inadequate at Derrymore, and does not have the social status to be friends with Emery. However, their shared role on the tennis team brings them together, and their bond solidifies after the racist “Hug An Asian Day”.
Their friendship is a complicated one, marked by an imbalance of power and status, with Emery playing the role of benevolent friend smoothing a path for Lilah. Through Lilah’s family, Emery is exposed to her first authentic experience of Asian culture, including a memorable trip to Taiwan where they celebrate her adoption day.
As Emery’s friendship with Lilah deepens, she is forced to confront her privilege, and what losing her culture may have cost her. She starts questioning the superficiality of her previous friendships. However, as the balance of power shifts and Lilah begins to step into her own identity, eclipsing Emery. Emery’s jealousy, entitlement and privilege reassert itself. Ultimately proving that you can buy your way out of anything.
This is a dark, witty exploration of the privileged world of boarding schools through the lens of Asian students. At it’s core, it’s a thought provoking examination of friendship, identity, privilege and integrity with a honest portrayal of how identity and status can shape our lives in unexpected ways.
Thank you to NetGalley and 8th Note Press for the early copy of this book and the opportunity to provide honest feedback.
Publication Date: April 15/25
At first, I thought l this might be another “mean girls” story about privilege and I wasn’t sure this would resonate with me. But as Sanibel skillfully layered in issues like interracial adoption, racism, casual racism, micro aggressions, belonging, and the feeling of being an outsider, I found myself connecting to this story.
The story offers a deep dive into the complex world of privilege and hierarchy at Derrymore Academy, a prestigious boarding school. It revolves around the unlikely friendship between Emery, a Korean girl adopted by wealthy white parents, who shuns her Korean identity and all things Asian; and Lilah, a brilliant but insecure middle-class Chinese American student who is fascinated but overwhelmed by the wealth surrounding her.
Emery identifies as white, and has tried to shield herself from racism by distancing herself from anything that may highlight
her Asian background. However her worldview is shattered once she becomes aware of the stereotypes, micro aggressions and offensive remarks and questions surrounding her. Once her eyes are opened, she can’t return to her previous state of ignorance, but she also doesn’t feel comfortable embracing being Korean. This raises a compelling question, who is she now?
Lilah is a passionate student, who struggles under the weight of her parents high expectations for her to achieve academically, as a way to honor the sacrifices they made for her by immigrating. Without the privilege of wealth, she feels out of place and inadequate at Derrymore, and does not have the social status to be friends with Emery. However, their shared role on the tennis team brings them together, and their bond solidifies after the racist “Hug An Asian Day”.
Their friendship is a complicated one, marked by an imbalance of power and status, with Emery playing the role of benevolent friend smoothing a path for Lilah. Through Lilah’s family, Emery is exposed to her first authentic experience of Asian culture, including a memorable trip to Taiwan where they celebrate her adoption day.
As Emery’s friendship with Lilah deepens, she is forced to confront her privilege, and what losing her culture may have cost her. She starts questioning the superficiality of her previous friendships. However, as the balance of power shifts and Lilah begins to step into her own identity, eclipsing Emery. Emery’s jealousy, entitlement and privilege reassert itself. Ultimately proving that you can buy your way out of anything.
This is a dark, witty exploration of the privileged world of boarding schools through the lens of Asian students. At it’s core, it’s a thought provoking examination of friendship, identity, privilege and integrity with a honest portrayal of how identity and status can shape our lives in unexpected ways.
Thank you to NetGalley and 8th Note Press for the early copy of this book and the opportunity to provide honest feedback.
June 22, 2025
An intriguing and wryly funny examination of the nuances of privilege and the world of prep schools and competitive college admissions.
Nothing we haven’t seen before on a basic level, but this is a bit of a unique take on the subject, well written, and far more original than most novels in this subgenre in terms of how the story unfolds.
Fair warning: If you’re one of those people who loves eat the rich novels, this probably won’t satisfy you if you’re looking for a specific outcome common to that type of story. Sanibel has actually made a far more astute and clever commentary here on the privilege of wealth, but it seems to be upsetting some reviewers who clearly wanted something more typical to the theme.
One of the most interesting parts of the book is that Lilah is not actually our typical “poor kid among the rich” hero. She’s sycophantic until she can’t take it any more, but what she does after that doesn’t make her likable or even sympathetic. It’s an interesting spin on the idea that too often, when on what we perceive to be a righteous mission, we end up becoming too much like the thing we seek to defeat.
The fact that neither of the protagonists turns out to be someone you particularly want to root for may make this a tough read for those who require a hero of sorts, but I actually thought what Sanibel does with her characters here was far more interesting, and perhaps an astute observation that terrible environments often bring out our most terrible selves.
I’ll be honest and say that what happened here was not my prep school experience not that of my kids’, but there’s enough there that is reminiscent of real world experience that I’m buying the concept, and it’s both refreshing and edifying to see this situation through the eye of non-white characters.
*I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.*
Nothing we haven’t seen before on a basic level, but this is a bit of a unique take on the subject, well written, and far more original than most novels in this subgenre in terms of how the story unfolds.
Fair warning: If you’re one of those people who loves eat the rich novels, this probably won’t satisfy you if you’re looking for a specific outcome common to that type of story. Sanibel has actually made a far more astute and clever commentary here on the privilege of wealth, but it seems to be upsetting some reviewers who clearly wanted something more typical to the theme.
One of the most interesting parts of the book is that Lilah is not actually our typical “poor kid among the rich” hero. She’s sycophantic until she can’t take it any more, but what she does after that doesn’t make her likable or even sympathetic. It’s an interesting spin on the idea that too often, when on what we perceive to be a righteous mission, we end up becoming too much like the thing we seek to defeat.
The fact that neither of the protagonists turns out to be someone you particularly want to root for may make this a tough read for those who require a hero of sorts, but I actually thought what Sanibel does with her characters here was far more interesting, and perhaps an astute observation that terrible environments often bring out our most terrible selves.
I’ll be honest and say that what happened here was not my prep school experience not that of my kids’, but there’s enough there that is reminiscent of real world experience that I’m buying the concept, and it’s both refreshing and edifying to see this situation through the eye of non-white characters.
*I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.*
August 28, 2025
Some interesting observations and wry commentary in this one about life behind the stately walls of an East Coast boarding school, with a hyper-focus on the Asian female experience therein.
It's probably safe to say that I - a late 50s white guy living in Texas - am not likely the target demographic for a book such as this focused on teen angst, Asian-style, among the upper crust of society. But I did appreciate the author’s ability to impart knowledge about what that unique scenario may look and feel like, which is one reason to read widely.
I did also like some of the author’s snarky jabs at this insular and oh so cozy world, such as kids needing to know details of tony vacation spots from Aspen to Nantucket to Kiawah and similar, or at least pretend they do, in order to fit in. (That one hit close to home.) Or noting that the receptionist at the school Easter Brunch was unfortunately subjected to Colbe Caillat songs on repeat all day, and the supposed cheerfulness of her voice sounded like it had to cut through layers of resentment for those she kindly greeted.
To be fair, I know plenty of elite types, either self-made or unto the manor born, who are delightful folks and focused on doing good in the world, but the self -absorbed variety obsessed 24/7 with one upping the neighbors type really grind my gears, and this book has them in abundance which increasingly got on my nerves as the story moved along.
It's probably safe to say that I - a late 50s white guy living in Texas - am not likely the target demographic for a book such as this focused on teen angst, Asian-style, among the upper crust of society. But I did appreciate the author’s ability to impart knowledge about what that unique scenario may look and feel like, which is one reason to read widely.
I did also like some of the author’s snarky jabs at this insular and oh so cozy world, such as kids needing to know details of tony vacation spots from Aspen to Nantucket to Kiawah and similar, or at least pretend they do, in order to fit in. (That one hit close to home.) Or noting that the receptionist at the school Easter Brunch was unfortunately subjected to Colbe Caillat songs on repeat all day, and the supposed cheerfulness of her voice sounded like it had to cut through layers of resentment for those she kindly greeted.
To be fair, I know plenty of elite types, either self-made or unto the manor born, who are delightful folks and focused on doing good in the world, but the self -absorbed variety obsessed 24/7 with one upping the neighbors type really grind my gears, and this book has them in abundance which increasingly got on my nerves as the story moved along.
May 16, 2025
i like the prose. this book felt incredibly real even as it gets disgustingly satirical with the typical teenage gossip feel that it takes from.
i’ve always been incredibly obsessed with books that talk about women, and especially the friendships between them. this is one of them. as gross and hedonistic as everyone else in the school is, emery tries to free herself from that kind, to martyr herself even further which develops when she becomes friends with lilah, where their bond is solely built on their complicated relationships with their own asian identity. they trade house-sittings and expensive crewnecks, get called twins, grow incredibly close, like sisters or something more, but despite the closeness, the financial inequality is the ultimate barrier that they couldn’t cross.
i’m honestly just disappointed at the ending. it was incredibly tensional and the big decision or twist just gets turned off in one sentence which led to it linger more than it should have. i wish it was more explosive than realistic because it felt like it just ended on such a note that made it unsatisfying. this is one of those novels where it shouldn’t have been anticlimactic.
i’ve always been incredibly obsessed with books that talk about women, and especially the friendships between them. this is one of them. as gross and hedonistic as everyone else in the school is, emery tries to free herself from that kind, to martyr herself even further which develops when she becomes friends with lilah, where their bond is solely built on their complicated relationships with their own asian identity. they trade house-sittings and expensive crewnecks, get called twins, grow incredibly close, like sisters or something more, but despite the closeness, the financial inequality is the ultimate barrier that they couldn’t cross.
i’m honestly just disappointed at the ending. it was incredibly tensional and the big decision or twist just gets turned off in one sentence which led to it linger more than it should have. i wish it was more explosive than realistic because it felt like it just ended on such a note that made it unsatisfying. this is one of those novels where it shouldn’t have been anticlimactic.
September 18, 2025
This is such a thoughtful and interesting book. It also perfectly captures prevailing attitudes on race and gender during the early-to-mid aughts. The writing can be a bit confusing at times, but the story is excellent. I appreciate that the author doesn’t try to inject any morality or judgment - she just tells a story from the perspectives of these 2 young girls. I look forward to more from Sanibel.
September 7, 2025
This book isn’t saying anything new, but it’s a story that never fails to draw people in. Boarding school class and race wars. If you have money, you can do no wrong.
This book felt realistic and I was sucked into the Derrymore world quickly and held there the entire time.
A really enjoyable book.
This book felt realistic and I was sucked into the Derrymore world quickly and held there the entire time.
A really enjoyable book.
October 10, 2025
This was a nice read! The ebb and flow of friendships is a hard thing to drill down on, and I think this book did a pretty good job capturing the complex feelings of that, amidst the uncertainty of identity and future that run so rampant in high school, particularly for non-white students in predominantly white environments.
April 30, 2025
4.5 rounded up
June 16, 2025
I really liked this book a lot!! But i can’t act like I haven’t seen this story in the dozens of teen murder mysteries I’ve read only without a campy fun whodunnit lol
September 1, 2025
What can I say, this is the exact type of book I love. Nothing groundbreaking but I sped through this. Also a time stamp to the Asian American experience in the 2000s which while not firsthand is certainly familiar. It’s kind of like if my childhood met my ASL high school experience.
August 14, 2025
Forgot to rate this months ago… was too busy DMing the author to tell her how much I loved it. Such a delicious treat to read (yet another) Lawrenceville inspired novel. This was very fun to read even if it hit a little close to home.
January 14, 2026
The haters dont want to hear it, but this is propoganda to not befriend the loser.
Lilah - you were good, then better, then wtf are you doing girl!! And in contrast, Emery only evolved into a better and better person.
The ending was meh, but I seriously wanted to give Lilah's dad a big fat hug he was so cutie.
Lilah - you were good, then better, then wtf are you doing girl!! And in contrast, Emery only evolved into a better and better person.
The ending was meh, but I seriously wanted to give Lilah's dad a big fat hug he was so cutie.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 5, 2025
I wished for a punchier ending but it was a realistic one. An addictive story that feels like an intellectual step above gossip girls in the best way
May 28, 2025
I’m just not totally sure what to say about this book. It was more simplistic than I was hoping for, with less of the scandal and intrigue that you usually get from the genre of boarding school books. The characters were intriguing and I liked that it explored the different ways the girls were treated and the opportunities they had based on their backgrounds prior to Derrymore. I think I needed a little more from the supportive characters and the administration at the school. We started off strong with the tennis team but that faded into the background pretty quickly. I just felt like the Emery/Lilah relationship wasn’t quite enough to sustain it all.
January 27, 2025
As a Korean American who grew up in white America, I knew this book would resonate with me the second I read the blurb.
In white America, race is inextricably linked to class, money, and privilege. Sanibel masterfully explores these motifs through Emery, a privileged Korean American adopted into a white, wealthy family, and Lilah, a middle class Taiwanese American whose parents depend on her to achieve their American dream, as they navigate an elite boarding school.
Their dynamic mesmerized me, and I recognized so much of my own adolescent identity struggles in both main characters. Derrymore, the boarding school, serves as the perfect setting to dissect these issues—through did-you-hears, feigned sympathy, and unchallenged microaggressions.
Thanks to NetGalley for this wonderful ARC!
In white America, race is inextricably linked to class, money, and privilege. Sanibel masterfully explores these motifs through Emery, a privileged Korean American adopted into a white, wealthy family, and Lilah, a middle class Taiwanese American whose parents depend on her to achieve their American dream, as they navigate an elite boarding school.
Their dynamic mesmerized me, and I recognized so much of my own adolescent identity struggles in both main characters. Derrymore, the boarding school, serves as the perfect setting to dissect these issues—through did-you-hears, feigned sympathy, and unchallenged microaggressions.
Thanks to NetGalley for this wonderful ARC!
June 10, 2025
Loved this book. Some incredible lines and searing observations on what it means to have money or to not have money, layered with Asian protagonists in a predominantly white school in the rat race for social capital. A great add to your library if you're a fan of The Official Preppy Handbook by Lisa Birnbach.
May 24, 2025
Did this book live up to my expectations? No. Did I still like it? Yes...I think.
Sanibel's videos on Instagram and TikTok are more interesting than this book since she has a lot of good and bad takes about wealth, class, and racism. I could write a sincere review but honestly, I like being messy. After moving closer to the west coast, I prefer west coast mean girls over east coast mean girls.
Thank the universe I did not grow up in the Northeast white suburbs because the level of cattiness in the Midwest does not hit as hard as the boroughs & suburbs in New York/Massachusetts/Pennsylvania.
Wish she included the toxic Christianity that permeates in so many adoption, Korean, Taiwanese, and Hong Kong circles/communities.
Sanibel's videos on Instagram and TikTok are more interesting than this book since she has a lot of good and bad takes about wealth, class, and racism. I could write a sincere review but honestly, I like being messy. After moving closer to the west coast, I prefer west coast mean girls over east coast mean girls.
Thank the universe I did not grow up in the Northeast white suburbs because the level of cattiness in the Midwest does not hit as hard as the boroughs & suburbs in New York/Massachusetts/Pennsylvania.
Wish she included the toxic Christianity that permeates in so many adoption, Korean, Taiwanese, and Hong Kong circles/communities.
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