✨I am SEX hear me ROAR✨
I despised nearly every aspect of this experience. This is my third Tessa Bailey book and it was my Hail Mary. If the main character having my name couldn’t save it, there was no hope. It actually went so far as to make me hate my name! I’ll never read one of her books again and I think it’s about self preservation at this point. I’ll be saving us both the inevitable negative reviews. The writing style is pretty much the exact opposite of what I want it a book.
On the surface these characters have depth but underneath they were very very flat and unoriginal. They each only had one hurtle to overcome, one thing to change throughout the entire book. Neither one of the main characters was at all unique or did anything new for me. Their conversations felt weird and a lot of this book had me thinking I was listening to YA. Their texting conversation at the beginning was 15 minutes long (I listened to the audio) and it was very very juvenile. I didn’t learn much besides the fact that the tone it set for the book was one I’d have to crawl through broken and bleeding to get past the finish line.
Hannah wanted to make a career in movie music without her stepfather’s money. She didn’t change much from beginning to end. She was a good character, far better than Fox, but I still felt zero connection. I don’t know what makes her tick (besides Fox’s dick) and I’m absolutely done with music as the entire personality trait. I love music but a lot of the times it’s very forced in books. It’s normally the Only Thing about the character. Oops brb gotta go make a playlist.
Fox had nothing besides his past sexual conquests and how much he hated that reputation. This maybe would’ve been plausible except the fact that he kept shoving this “sex obsessed” playboy facade in Hannah’s face. Half of his interactions with Hannah were “I am SEX hear me ROAR” so that she would think all he cared about was fucking, for no apparent reason. He kept actively proving everyone else’s assumptions about him correct and it was fucking annoying I’m sorry. He did it in the past and the present. The only person he hated more than the Fox he curated was his father because according to Fox, his lusty loins were genetic. He perpetually wore a bracelet to remind himself that he’ll never be anything but his cheating father. Weird but okay (it’s actually not okay but screw it).
Even then, we barely broke the surface of Fox and his glorious [read: horrible] name. I felt n o t h i n g for this man. His pity party was an absolute rager 24/7. He kept telling us how doomed and tortured and sexually promiscuous he was but we were shown zero evidence. The book tried to go in depth with stuff his mom did but so much of it was just misunderstandings and caring way too much about other people’s opinions. This comprised his entire character. It was so hard to stomach after the first hour let alone the tenth. If he would’ve had SOMETHING else going on, even a hobby, maybe then I could’ve been more tolerant. I didn’t even get the sense he liked his job.
What little that was shown about his past was all told. Basically his main fuck boy years were in high school? And then he wanted to settle down with a girl in college but she was just using him. He swore off commitment because of that one relationship but he wasn’t the problem in it???? She was a shitty person but dropping out of college to “prove the point that I’m just a walking penis like my father” is a bold move. So I can see him being scared of commitment based on other people, but it was so internalized it didn’t make sense. And it continued to not make sense. He wasn’t a cheater! I have zero knowledge how his life progressed after college until we find him in the present. I don’t get it. “Dad’s legacy” is so flimsy. He is very one dimensional until his dick gets involved with Hannah and then he��s a little more 3D if you catch my drift.
As for the sex, this wasn’t as hot as book one. If you can include the phrases “wet girl,” “horny girl,” “freaky girl,” and “sweet girl” you can most certainly give us a “good girl” ?????? Why was that the one we omitted here? Their attraction was instant and I felt no tension or connection. I don’t know why they love each other. One fix could’ve be to get rid of Fox’s POV to up the stakes. Then we’d really have no clue what’s going on inside his head, which is better for us all. I rather [read: vehemently] dislike Tessa’s sex scenes. I don’t like her word choices and I didn’t care for any of the scenes we got, nor the placement in relation to the plot.
Some stand out verbiage:
✨ “I’m where you come for the down and dirty” (sir this is a Chili’s )
✨“Buns” & “buttocks” (remove the superfluous buns)
✨”Split of her femininity” (I shouldn’t have to defend my dismay here)
✨”Hot ass pussy” scratch the ass (lol)
✨”Get up girl” yee-haw turns so fast into haw-yee. Isn’t it crazy just how fast the night changes?
✨”Inside this tight thing without a rubber” repeated twice in the book (ribbed) for our pleasure.
✨”Brendan doffed his beanie” not sexual but I abhor 3/4 of this sentence.
✨”Classic Hannah” made me think of an urban dictionary entry. These characters didn’t speak naturally.
To go along with all the “girl” language, I just don’t like the daddy-adjacent kink. Fox had this weird fixation on babying Hannah and treating her like a child. From treating her injuries to protecting her delicate ears from bad language, it just felt off to me. It’s just not my kink. I didn’t like Brendan spoiling Piper in book one either. Both were possessive and jealous at times they forfeited rights to be. Everyone in that town treated Hannah like a child. They were all SO worried about her dating Fox but no one, not one person, asked her opinion on the matter. She’s too innocent, too young, too this, too that. She was a whole ass adult. Miss me with that patronizing bullshit. Seeing as it was her vagina he was rawdoggin, I think she should have a chance to talk. It was WEIRD. Piper was even guilty of this and in cahoots with Brendan.
Sea shanties were also here. A moose was in the epilogue. I really don’t know. I would not recommend the audiobook as the narrator sounds Very Young which contributed to the YA feels and I dislike her man voice. I also disliked hearing the dialogue of this book. I obviously don’t recommend the book in any format whatsoever. It made me hate the sound of my own name because hearing it in audiobook was horrifying. (I swear Fox is best friends with my 3rd grade best friend’s older brother because one time he told us that repeating someone’s name made them like like you so at dinner he demonstrated with my name and I SWEAR this book was deja vu.) It reminded me a lot of Duke, Actually by Jenny Holiday which I liked better than this (I actually liked the hero). Why does this book have “a novel” on the cover? A novelty maybe. Books like this drive me mad. No not today sorry I’m not home come back later.
✨I’ll proofread this review in the morning yolo✨
⭐️⭐️/5 🌶🌶🌶.25/5
**Thank you to the publisher for sending me a free finished copy of this book! Opinions are honest and my own. Even though I didn’t like the book, it’ll still be featured in so many photos on my feed so who’s the real winner here lmao. You can find my bookstagram in my profile description!**
My playlist ❤️inspired❤️ by this book:
✨Me to any Tessa Bailey book summary I see in the future: Never Going Back Again - Fleetwood Mac
✨Overall vibes of this book: I Hate Everything - George Strait
✨All of bookstagram witnessing my newest book related meltdown: There She Goes - The La’s
✨Fox when confronted with any rational decision: Fox on the Run - Sweet
✨Me when reading a Tessa Bailey sex scene: (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction - The Rolling Stones
✨Returning this audiobook to the library: Goodbye to You (Feat Patty Smyth) - Scandal
✨My favorite parts of this audiobook: When You Say Nothing at All - Keith Whitley
✨Me sitting down to write another negative review: The Bitch is Back - Elton John
✨Me consistently throughout this book: Help! - The Beatles
✨When I finish a book instead of DNFing: I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) - Four Tops
✨This book @me every time I see a positive review on bookstagram: Don’t You (Forget About Me) - Simple Minds
✨Me looking at the book cover: (You’re The) Devil In Disguise - Elvis Presley
✨Regarding this book, I: Should’ve Said No - Taylor swift
✨Past Me “you’re taking a risk by reading this book” Present Me “but her name is Hannahhhh” Future Me: I Told You So - Randy Travis
✨Me with the name Hannah: Where Did Our Love Go - The Supremes
✨Me five minutes into the book sensing danger: Should I Stay or Should I Go - The Clash
✨Last but not least, hindsight is 20/20: If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher