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Hawthorne University #1
Like You Hate Me
I’ve never hated anyone as much as I hate him.
The day my sister died, I told her best friend I never wanted to see him again, and I meant it.
I lost her because of him. Everything I used to care about means nothing now because of him.
It’s all because of him.
So when he shows up on my driveway two years later and tells me he’s moving in with me for his freshman year of college, I kick his ass and tell him to disappear. For good this time.
But I already know the defiant little brat’s not gonna listen. He never does.
Being near him again makes me crazy. I’m supposed to be the college basketball star my father raised me to be, but now I’m focused on a new game. I’m obsessed with watching him, touching him, breaking him. His body, his head, his heart, anything I can get my hands on…
I’m gonna take it all until he’s got nothing left.
And even though he knows exactly what I’m doing to him, he’s gonna let me do it anyway.
The day my sister died, I told her best friend I never wanted to see him again, and I meant it.
I lost her because of him. Everything I used to care about means nothing now because of him.
It’s all because of him.
So when he shows up on my driveway two years later and tells me he’s moving in with me for his freshman year of college, I kick his ass and tell him to disappear. For good this time.
But I already know the defiant little brat’s not gonna listen. He never does.
Being near him again makes me crazy. I’m supposed to be the college basketball star my father raised me to be, but now I’m focused on a new game. I’m obsessed with watching him, touching him, breaking him. His body, his head, his heart, anything I can get my hands on…
I’m gonna take it all until he’s got nothing left.
And even though he knows exactly what I’m doing to him, he’s gonna let me do it anyway.
402 pages, Hardcover
Published August 1, 2024
944 people are currently reading
8612 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,403 reviews
August 30, 2023
I was initially eating this up. Toxic AF, over the top, messy and complicated relationship dynamic with high levels of jealousy and possessiveness? Yes please!!! But then, in a shocking turn of events, I got tired of it. Maybe because it was just too much of the same and too long and overwritten. It went on forever!!!! I was so terribly bored. So much sex. So much of everything, I suppose. It was just rinse and repeat. In one chapter they have sex. Next, Nate is super mean to Xavi. Next chapter, there’s some kind of reveal of something that happened in the past or a secret of sorts gets brought to light. Then the chapter after that, tons of the jealousy. And on and on and on we go repeating that series of events. Merry go round vibes! I might be singing a different tune if I absolutely loved the characters. I still did enjoy aspects of this for sure, hence my three stars. Also at one point I was just so over how Nate treated Xavi. Just straight up nasty as fuck and putting him down and making him feel less than so much of the time, it made me mad idk!!!! Also I do like bully romances, I just don’t like Nate very much so if it seems like I’m hating on bully romances, I’m not. More so just hating on Nate and his antics.😭😂 He had good moments though. I don’t fully despise him or anything. This rambling of mine is all over the place omg and reminiscent of my reading experience. One minute I’m all in and next minute I’m over it.😋 So I didn’t love the couple a ton (if it isn’t super obvious😭) but I still had a good enough time with other aspects tbh, despite my complaints lol. I liked Nate & Xavi together not all the time but sometimes, the jealousy (again, not all the time but sometimes lol), the angst and the found family trope. Also I’m very invested in Frankie and need her book so bad.🙏🏻 Still thinking about that three second interaction she had with that girl. I need their book!!!😙
September 2, 2023
this book was sooooo
i devoured it in one sitting and stayed up until 2:30 am to finish it because i physically could not put it down. i didn’t even highlight any of the best quotes because i was just flying through the pages. i ate it UPPPP. the angst. the hatred. the pining. the insults. the nastiness… ohhhh romances are back baby🙏🏻
i miss this type of romance, honestly— the ones that have a nasty bite to them that just make them so addictive to read that you can’t stop. i haven’t felt like that in a long ass while when reading, tbh. so many books have been meh for me, so the fact i stayed up all night to finish it when i am the antithesis of a night owl says a lot. the book was pure crack. truly so god damn fun.
live footage of me reading this book:
so, Like You Hate Me follows Xavi and Nate who we originally met in the Anti-Valentine anthology. their story ended on a nasty cliffhanger, so i was dying for the rest of their story to see how they managed to get through the whirlwind of shit that was suffocating them both.
Nate’s younger sister Katy died several years ago and he blames Xavi for her death. Xavi and Katy were best friends, platonic soulmates honestly, and her death changed both Nate and Xavi’s lives forever and their already tumultuous dynamic was never the same again.
now three years later, Xavi finds himself living with Nate at a shared university house and the forced proximity forces pair to do a major emotional upheaval, dig up all the trauma of Katy’s death while trying to navigate how they feel about each other. it’s juicy af. the tropes include:
now… i will warn y’all… Nate is not nice. like at all😭 it took me a long ass while to warm up to him and in the end i still didn’t love him because he deserved a good bitch slap. but his antics and nastiness made for some good angst and drama, so i loved it LMAO. and i did understand where all of his rage was coming from— he was grieving the death of his sister and wasn’t truly allowed to experience those feelings due to having such a suffocating family.
but god, i did hate him at times. and i think it was due to how much i adored the shit out of Xavi. he broke my heart over and over again— he’s the star of the book for me. his despair, self-loathing and grief were truly palpable to read. every time he cried, i was right beside him like
he really let Nate treat him like shit because he thought he deserved it and i was like XAVI PLS GET BEHIND ME!! it hurt to read, honestly and times i wondered if my love for the book would waver (in the end, it didn’t). but what would have made this truly perfect for me was if Xavi had more of a backbone— that poor boy broke my heart, he truly did. like i had tears in my eyes consistently for the last 20% because i just wanted to hug him so bad.
and i understood Winters’ choice to make him seem like such a push over, because if self-pity was a person, it would be Xavi Hart. but it didn’t lessen my craving for him to just stand up for himself more, to back himself and trust in his own worthiness. i needed him to hold firm in his beliefs and not give into Nate the moment Nate breathes in his direction, you know? there was a few instances where i thought Xavi would hold strong and not go back to Nate…
then Xavi would be looking at me like
it’s ultimately why the book is four stars and not five because it was frustrating by a certain point because the back and forth between them could get a little exhausting. but again, i ate it up, so 🫦
i think what redeemed some of my minor annoyances was how truly obsessed and possessive Nate was of Xavi. like i was LIVING every time a past relationship or fuck buddy of Xavi’s was brought up because Nate’s eyeballs were twitching so bad i thought they’d roll out of his head😭 it was sooo funny. some readers don’t enjoy those reminders, but i did because it kinda evened the playing field of Nate always having the power and the upper hand.
whenever Xavi got the chance to humble Nate i was soooo there for it 🙏🏻
and in the end, i really believed Nate loved Xavi. i was shipping them a lot, i just wanted Xavi to resist a bit more. but, Nate was so much more emotionally available by the end of the book and he’s still a douche to everyone else but Xavi 🥹 you could feel he was now Xavi’s protector and really stepped up. and i felt like Nate grew a lot in the end when he was faced with the reality of a life without Xavi, despite how complicated his feelings were.
they both grapple with so much and i think that’s why i could eventually forgive Nate despite his bouts of cruelty because they really had so much intense chemistry, always drawn to one another, always watching each other and wanting to be in each other’s presence… they felt so connected and tethered, through their grief but also through their toxic love. because they are toxic, but it makes it all the more fun lol😇
i would be so interested in more stories of the other characters, too! Frankie and that bitchy cheerleader would eat so bad, gimme the sapphic enemies to lovers asap pls👹
thank you to Bethany Winters and GRR for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!
i devoured it in one sitting and stayed up until 2:30 am to finish it because i physically could not put it down. i didn’t even highlight any of the best quotes because i was just flying through the pages. i ate it UPPPP. the angst. the hatred. the pining. the insults. the nastiness… ohhhh romances are back baby🙏🏻
i miss this type of romance, honestly— the ones that have a nasty bite to them that just make them so addictive to read that you can’t stop. i haven’t felt like that in a long ass while when reading, tbh. so many books have been meh for me, so the fact i stayed up all night to finish it when i am the antithesis of a night owl says a lot. the book was pure crack. truly so god damn fun.
live footage of me reading this book:
so, Like You Hate Me follows Xavi and Nate who we originally met in the Anti-Valentine anthology. their story ended on a nasty cliffhanger, so i was dying for the rest of their story to see how they managed to get through the whirlwind of shit that was suffocating them both.
Nate’s younger sister Katy died several years ago and he blames Xavi for her death. Xavi and Katy were best friends, platonic soulmates honestly, and her death changed both Nate and Xavi’s lives forever and their already tumultuous dynamic was never the same again.
now three years later, Xavi finds himself living with Nate at a shared university house and the forced proximity forces pair to do a major emotional upheaval, dig up all the trauma of Katy’s death while trying to navigate how they feel about each other. it’s juicy af. the tropes include:
💙 best friend’s brother
🖤 forced proximity / roommates
💙 angsttttt for dayssss
🖤 jealous and possessive MCs
💙 bully romance
🖤 hate to love dynamic
💙 toxic relationship
now… i will warn y’all… Nate is not nice. like at all😭 it took me a long ass while to warm up to him and in the end i still didn’t love him because he deserved a good bitch slap. but his antics and nastiness made for some good angst and drama, so i loved it LMAO. and i did understand where all of his rage was coming from— he was grieving the death of his sister and wasn’t truly allowed to experience those feelings due to having such a suffocating family.
but god, i did hate him at times. and i think it was due to how much i adored the shit out of Xavi. he broke my heart over and over again— he’s the star of the book for me. his despair, self-loathing and grief were truly palpable to read. every time he cried, i was right beside him like
he really let Nate treat him like shit because he thought he deserved it and i was like XAVI PLS GET BEHIND ME!! it hurt to read, honestly and times i wondered if my love for the book would waver (in the end, it didn’t). but what would have made this truly perfect for me was if Xavi had more of a backbone— that poor boy broke my heart, he truly did. like i had tears in my eyes consistently for the last 20% because i just wanted to hug him so bad.
and i understood Winters’ choice to make him seem like such a push over, because if self-pity was a person, it would be Xavi Hart. but it didn’t lessen my craving for him to just stand up for himself more, to back himself and trust in his own worthiness. i needed him to hold firm in his beliefs and not give into Nate the moment Nate breathes in his direction, you know? there was a few instances where i thought Xavi would hold strong and not go back to Nate…
then Xavi would be looking at me like
it’s ultimately why the book is four stars and not five because it was frustrating by a certain point because the back and forth between them could get a little exhausting. but again, i ate it up, so 🫦
i think what redeemed some of my minor annoyances was how truly obsessed and possessive Nate was of Xavi. like i was LIVING every time a past relationship or fuck buddy of Xavi’s was brought up because Nate’s eyeballs were twitching so bad i thought they’d roll out of his head😭 it was sooo funny. some readers don’t enjoy those reminders, but i did because it kinda evened the playing field of Nate always having the power and the upper hand.
whenever Xavi got the chance to humble Nate i was soooo there for it 🙏🏻
and in the end, i really believed Nate loved Xavi. i was shipping them a lot, i just wanted Xavi to resist a bit more. but, Nate was so much more emotionally available by the end of the book and he’s still a douche to everyone else but Xavi 🥹 you could feel he was now Xavi’s protector and really stepped up. and i felt like Nate grew a lot in the end when he was faced with the reality of a life without Xavi, despite how complicated his feelings were.
they both grapple with so much and i think that’s why i could eventually forgive Nate despite his bouts of cruelty because they really had so much intense chemistry, always drawn to one another, always watching each other and wanting to be in each other’s presence… they felt so connected and tethered, through their grief but also through their toxic love. because they are toxic, but it makes it all the more fun lol😇
i would be so interested in more stories of the other characters, too! Frankie and that bitchy cheerleader would eat so bad, gimme the sapphic enemies to lovers asap pls👹
thank you to Bethany Winters and GRR for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!
August 28, 2023
Xavi and Nate have a complicated history together. Xavi was best friends with Nate’s little sister, Katy. Ever since she died, Nate has blamed Xavi for her death. After Katy’s death, neither Nate nor Xavi have been the same. They are both shells of themselves, barely living.
This hate inside me feels like a living, breathing thing, and it wants Xavi Hart. Now that he’s within reach, it wants to take him and own him, to pin him down and punish him for what he’s done, to make him cry and beg for me to make it stop.
After some time, Xavi ends up moving in with Nate and his other roommates at college. You can imagine how well this goes over with Nate. To complicate matters further, they are both drawn to the other. They can’t resist each other, which leads to some incredibly hot hate sex.
All the nights I watched him sleep, this is what I thought about. Pinning him down and taking what I want from him. Making him pay. Making him break. Fucking with his head and his heart and his body all at once. It’s what I crave most in the world. To see him fall apart, piece by piece until there’s nothing left.
The possessiveness in this. The marking. HOT AF.
Unable to help myself, I sink my teeth into the spot. He writhes and moans beneath me as I mark him for all to see. Carter, Easton, Frankie’s horny little friend who thinks she’s got a chance at taking a piece of him. They’ll know who’s been here next time they see him. They’ll know who he belongs to.
There are also some super sweet and noteworthy moments that relate to a list Katy made. I loved everything that had to do with this list.
Nate has such a back and forth with Xavi going on because he hates him for what happened, but he really cares for him too. There are a few secrets that get exposed along the way and some well-placed flashbacks that help explore what previously happened. There are so many special little moments in this book. I don’t want to spoil it for you, just go read it!
“Fuck, baby, you look so pretty,” I whisper, possessively grazing my thumb over the hickey beneath his ear. “You look like mine.” “Don’t,” he pleads, and I cock my head, watching him look up at me with sad eyes and a fragile heart. “Don’t make me fall for you.”
I loved all the roommates and hope we see more of them in the future. The found family vibe was super enjoyable. You can tell that they all cared for one another.
*** I received an ARC of this book from the author and this is my honest opinion. ***
This hate inside me feels like a living, breathing thing, and it wants Xavi Hart. Now that he’s within reach, it wants to take him and own him, to pin him down and punish him for what he’s done, to make him cry and beg for me to make it stop.
After some time, Xavi ends up moving in with Nate and his other roommates at college. You can imagine how well this goes over with Nate. To complicate matters further, they are both drawn to the other. They can’t resist each other, which leads to some incredibly hot hate sex.
All the nights I watched him sleep, this is what I thought about. Pinning him down and taking what I want from him. Making him pay. Making him break. Fucking with his head and his heart and his body all at once. It’s what I crave most in the world. To see him fall apart, piece by piece until there’s nothing left.
The possessiveness in this. The marking. HOT AF.
Unable to help myself, I sink my teeth into the spot. He writhes and moans beneath me as I mark him for all to see. Carter, Easton, Frankie’s horny little friend who thinks she’s got a chance at taking a piece of him. They’ll know who’s been here next time they see him. They’ll know who he belongs to.
There are also some super sweet and noteworthy moments that relate to a list Katy made. I loved everything that had to do with this list.
Nate has such a back and forth with Xavi going on because he hates him for what happened, but he really cares for him too. There are a few secrets that get exposed along the way and some well-placed flashbacks that help explore what previously happened. There are so many special little moments in this book. I don’t want to spoil it for you, just go read it!
“Fuck, baby, you look so pretty,” I whisper, possessively grazing my thumb over the hickey beneath his ear. “You look like mine.” “Don’t,” he pleads, and I cock my head, watching him look up at me with sad eyes and a fragile heart. “Don’t make me fall for you.”
I loved all the roommates and hope we see more of them in the future. The found family vibe was super enjoyable. You can tell that they all cared for one another.
*** I received an ARC of this book from the author and this is my honest opinion. ***
December 27, 2024
2.25/5
I’m too lazy to write a proper review so I will just pour all the thoughts I still have on my mind about this book.
I was eating it up at the beginning but after that it lost its appeal to me. Too many repetitions. It was just them banging, argument, banging, some sad scene, banging, arguing etc.
I liked the writing style so it was easy to finish, but there were too many smut scenes that felt flat after the first three. I started skipping them as I personally don’t like books full of smut. This may not be an issue for everyone, but once they did it at like twenty-five percent of the book, all the tension sort of disappeared. Honestly, I felt like the book would have been at least half as long if all the smut scenes were gone.
In the house they lived in, almost everyone seemed horny 24/7.
I lost it when Nate started dirty talking on his sister’s grave.
I actually liked Xavi. He was such a heartbroken character. I just wanted to give him a big hug. I genuinely don’t understand how he could deal with Nate being so toxic to him. I could never.
I don’t know even what to say about Nate. I understand his reasoning for being a total douchebag, as he was grieving and his family was shitty, but if I saw him on a street I would definitely walk the other way. He could be nice when he wanted though.
I can’t believe how they could fall in love. They were just thinking with their dicks.
I can’t envision them being together after the epilogue. I wish but I just can’t.
Frankie and the cheerleader? I want their book.
I’m too lazy to write a proper review so I will just pour all the thoughts I still have on my mind about this book.
I was eating it up at the beginning but after that it lost its appeal to me. Too many repetitions. It was just them banging, argument, banging, some sad scene, banging, arguing etc.
I liked the writing style so it was easy to finish, but there were too many smut scenes that felt flat after the first three. I started skipping them as I personally don’t like books full of smut. This may not be an issue for everyone, but once they did it at like twenty-five percent of the book, all the tension sort of disappeared. Honestly, I felt like the book would have been at least half as long if all the smut scenes were gone.
In the house they lived in, almost everyone seemed horny 24/7.
I lost it when Nate started dirty talking on his sister’s grave.
I actually liked Xavi. He was such a heartbroken character. I just wanted to give him a big hug. I genuinely don’t understand how he could deal with Nate being so toxic to him. I could never.
I don’t know even what to say about Nate. I understand his reasoning for being a total douchebag, as he was grieving and his family was shitty, but if I saw him on a street I would definitely walk the other way. He could be nice when he wanted though.
I can’t believe how they could fall in love. They were just thinking with their dicks.
I can’t envision them being together after the epilogue. I wish but I just can’t.
Frankie and the cheerleader? I want their book.
July 8, 2025
* ☘︎ :･ﾟTOP READ 2023 :･ﾟ☘︎ *
re-read July 2025
Haha, I only wanted to revisit some of my favorite moments and then, once again, I read the entire thing.
re-read March 2025
I’m a masochist loving stories like this as much as I do. This one hurts so good while hurting so bad.
💀🖤
4.5***** stars
⇢ Alexa, play “Scars to Your Beautiful” by Alessia Cara
So yeah, 5 stars from me as well. This is just the shit I’m living for to read; intense and full of desperation, hurt and soul deep love. This book was killing me and I LOVED IT!
Please tell me there will me more!! I’d love to get a book for Carter.
***********
Hawthorne University Series
Book 1 - Like You Hate Me - 4.5 stars
Book 2 - Don't Say You're Sorry - 3.5 stars
Book 3 - tbd
re-read July 2025
I think you’re gonna flip his world upside down and there'll be nothing he can do to stop it.
Haha, I only wanted to revisit some of my favorite moments and then, once again, I read the entire thing.
re-read March 2025
I’m a masochist loving stories like this as much as I do. This one hurts so good while hurting so bad.
“It’s okay, baby. I got you.”
💀🖤
4.5***** stars
⇢ Alexa, play “Scars to Your Beautiful” by Alessia Cara
Aching all over, I crawl into bed, pull the blanket up over my head, and silently cry myself to sleep, just like I do every time he fucks me.
So yeah, 5 stars from me as well. This is just the shit I’m living for to read; intense and full of desperation, hurt and soul deep love. This book was killing me and I LOVED IT!
“Do you really expect me to forget what you did?” “I don’t want you to forget,” he whispers, holding my gaze as he blinks the fresh tears from his eyes. “I just want you to love me anyway.”
Please tell me there will me more!! I’d love to get a book for Carter.
***********
Hawthorne University Series
Book 1 - Like You Hate Me - 4.5 stars
Book 2 - Don't Say You're Sorry - 3.5 stars
Book 3 - tbd
December 16, 2025
Wait, this ate. I devoured this like it was my last meal.
Nate and Xavi had me in a chokehold!! It was messy and toxic but I was also gagged over these two!! One minute I was eating up the push and pull between them and the next I was like wait, hold up - this actually has a lot of depth and complexity. They both really were broken & struggling with a tonne of grief and pain.
Nate literally gave me whiplash. Tell me why this man cooks for Xavi, protects him, cares about him relapsing, is insanely jealous and possessive; but then was also SO mean to him!!! No because I was literally giggling, screaming and feeling sad all in one swoop!!!!! That is how you do a bully romance because I both loved and hated him at times!!
Xavi really was just so consumed by his pain but also pining for love and acceptance.
The hate sex was SO hot hahahaha, I was eating the spice up in this!!! Usually a lot of spice can get repetitive but I don't know what to tell you - sorry not sorry, it was delivering and I was not complaining one bit. Like, gawwwwwwd, they are so hot 🔥
I actually really enjoyed the dynamic with the side characters too. Low key everyone was acting like a complete dick at one point or another - which again, I just ate it up.
I just couldn’t stop reading it so we take the win 🕺🏼
I do think the resolution was wrapped up a bit too quickly & I kinda wish we’d seen a bit more of their past dynamic.
Although they were both hurting I’d have loved to see Nate grovel a bit more for Xavi, it did feel like Nate flipped a switch (although we know he's been hiding his feeling beneath his anger) but whatever, I don't care lols, still hitting it with 4 stars cause I can and the last line was so freakin' cute!!
There were a handful of things in this book that I could point out don't usually work for me but somehow I just didn't care sooooo may as well just not mention them lmao, not sure what I kinda did. Anywaayyy, I will 100% be reading more from this author cause man that really hooked me!!
____________
Pre-read: hate to love, brothers best friend, bully mm romance - it’s giving toxic vibes 🤭😌
Nate and Xavi had me in a chokehold!! It was messy and toxic but I was also gagged over these two!! One minute I was eating up the push and pull between them and the next I was like wait, hold up - this actually has a lot of depth and complexity. They both really were broken & struggling with a tonne of grief and pain.
Nate literally gave me whiplash. Tell me why this man cooks for Xavi, protects him, cares about him relapsing, is insanely jealous and possessive; but then was also SO mean to him!!! No because I was literally giggling, screaming and feeling sad all in one swoop!!!!! That is how you do a bully romance because I both loved and hated him at times!!
Xavi really was just so consumed by his pain but also pining for love and acceptance.
The hate sex was SO hot hahahaha, I was eating the spice up in this!!! Usually a lot of spice can get repetitive but I don't know what to tell you - sorry not sorry, it was delivering and I was not complaining one bit. Like, gawwwwwwd, they are so hot 🔥
I actually really enjoyed the dynamic with the side characters too. Low key everyone was acting like a complete dick at one point or another - which again, I just ate it up.
I just couldn’t stop reading it so we take the win 🕺🏼
I do think the resolution was wrapped up a bit too quickly & I kinda wish we’d seen a bit more of their past dynamic.
Although they were both hurting I’d have loved to see Nate grovel a bit more for Xavi, it did feel like Nate flipped a switch (although we know he's been hiding his feeling beneath his anger) but whatever, I don't care lols, still hitting it with 4 stars cause I can and the last line was so freakin' cute!!
There were a handful of things in this book that I could point out don't usually work for me but somehow I just didn't care sooooo may as well just not mention them lmao, not sure what I kinda did. Anywaayyy, I will 100% be reading more from this author cause man that really hooked me!!
____________
Pre-read: hate to love, brothers best friend, bully mm romance - it’s giving toxic vibes 🤭😌
December 28, 2023
- hate to love
- best friend’s brother
- roomies
- forced proximity
- found family
- size difference
- bully
I’ve been foaming at the mouth for more of Nate and Xavi since I read the beginning of their story in the Anti-Valentine’s Anthology, and Bethany did not disappoint in the slightest with the full length.
The angst, the tension, the heartache… It was everything.
Nate and Xavi have been through it, both hurting/wanting to hurt as they cope with their grief and complicated emotions, and after two years have been thrown together again. Their story is dark, deeply emotional, and oh so devastating, but so fucking good.
I didn’t know Nate’s visceral hatred for Xavi would do it for me, but it really does. The boy is obsessed though and I am obsessed with them.
- best friend’s brother
- roomies
- forced proximity
- found family
- size difference
- bully
I’ve been foaming at the mouth for more of Nate and Xavi since I read the beginning of their story in the Anti-Valentine’s Anthology, and Bethany did not disappoint in the slightest with the full length.
The angst, the tension, the heartache… It was everything.
Nate and Xavi have been through it, both hurting/wanting to hurt as they cope with their grief and complicated emotions, and after two years have been thrown together again. Their story is dark, deeply emotional, and oh so devastating, but so fucking good.
I didn’t know Nate’s visceral hatred for Xavi would do it for me, but it really does. The boy is obsessed though and I am obsessed with them.
August 29, 2023
Like You Hate Me is an intense, dark, and moody story that focuses on shared trauma and grief. Xavier and Nathaniel have a complicated past where an event occurred two years prior that forever altered their lives. Now they are forced to live together on campus and all of their emotions are present more than ever.
An element of this story that really sold me was how complicated Nate and Xavi are as characters. Their imperfections make them very endearing. I liked seeing how both grapple with their complicated feelings and emotions towards one another, which made for such a compelling read.
This story is dark and intense both in its story and in its tone. Nate's grief comes through in his anger and resentment towards Xavi. His words and actions are extremely cruel, making him almost unlikeable at times. This aspect of the story is heavy and moody, which is countered well by how sweet, vulnerable, and honest Xavi is. He is completely open about his past mistakes, which helps balance out the anger coming from Nate.
Overall I enjoyed this story even when I was disgusted at some of Nate's antics. I love a complicated character and seeing Nate's growth and groveling for his own horrible actions really pays off in this story. These two really worked hard for their HEA, which played out spectacularly. Such an intense read that left me wanting more.
*** I reviewed a complimentary copy of this story.***
An element of this story that really sold me was how complicated Nate and Xavi are as characters. Their imperfections make them very endearing. I liked seeing how both grapple with their complicated feelings and emotions towards one another, which made for such a compelling read.
This story is dark and intense both in its story and in its tone. Nate's grief comes through in his anger and resentment towards Xavi. His words and actions are extremely cruel, making him almost unlikeable at times. This aspect of the story is heavy and moody, which is countered well by how sweet, vulnerable, and honest Xavi is. He is completely open about his past mistakes, which helps balance out the anger coming from Nate.
Overall I enjoyed this story even when I was disgusted at some of Nate's antics. I love a complicated character and seeing Nate's growth and groveling for his own horrible actions really pays off in this story. These two really worked hard for their HEA, which played out spectacularly. Such an intense read that left me wanting more.
*** I reviewed a complimentary copy of this story.***
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September 19, 2023
4.25 ✰
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝑿𝒂𝒗𝒊 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒕. 𝑵𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉, 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆, 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒄𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑.
my brain is too tired to write a proper review after taking my first exam for anatomy and physiology (literally haven’t been on goodreads in like 5 days due to studying 😫🥲, and now I’m free until the next one hehe), BUT i loved natexavi smsmsm. tons of pain, grief, tension, angst, anger, resentment, toxicity, co-dependency, possessiveness, hotness overload, and underneath it all…overwhelming love between these two ugh. 🥵🥹
it hurt so good!! 😭
there was so much push-pull, “i hate you, but you’re mine, but fuck off, you’re nothing to me, but don’t leave me bc i love u” energy between these two which did get a bit repetitive at times, yet didn’t take away from how much i loved them and their brutal-all consuming-dynamic at all.
will definitely come back to these two in the future. 🫶🏼
⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡ ⋆
❥ “𝑱𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎…” 𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒆 𝒎𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔. “𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕.” “𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕?”
“𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.”
the way frankie was on to nate and his obsession with xavi so quick…she really is that girl 💅🏻
❥“𝑻𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒚,” 𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆. “𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆? 𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅? 𝑰𝒕’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓.”
💔💔
❥ 𝑯𝒆’𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒙𝒚.
𝑰’𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒕, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒇𝒇. 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆. 𝑯𝒆’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓𝒔.
how very possessive of you nate 🤭
❥ “𝑭𝒖𝒄𝒌, 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒔𝒐 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚,” 𝑰 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓, 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒛𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒃 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒂𝒓. “𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆.”
“𝑫𝒐𝒏’𝒕,” 𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅, 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒔𝒂𝒅 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕. “𝑫𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖.”
🫠
❥𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒔𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕, 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅. 𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝒕𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒛𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕. 𝑰𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅, 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒆𝒕, 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒌 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝑰 𝒓𝒖𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓.
the fact that nate was always secretly so down bad for xavi plss
❥“𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝑰’𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌, 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕?”
“𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌.”
“𝒀𝒐𝒖’𝒗𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒂 𝒅𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒕𝒐𝒐,” 𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌, 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒆.
“𝑰 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕.”
“𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒔𝒐,” 𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔, 𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒄𝒌. “𝑩𝒆 𝒂 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕’𝒔 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆.”
🥵
❥ “𝑫𝒐 𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅?” 𝑰 𝒂𝒔𝒌.
“𝑺𝒐 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅,” 𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕, 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒑𝒔. “𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖? 𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒂𝒎𝒏 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅…”
𝑰 𝒏𝒐𝒅, 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒚 𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒌. “𝑴𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝒎𝒆,” 𝑰 𝒃𝒆𝒈. “𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆.”
xavi 🤝 needing nate’s hickeys all over him
⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡ ⋆
❤️🔥 best friend’s older brother
❤️🔥 dual pov
❤️🔥 basketball player x emo/bratty boy
❤️🔥 enemies-to-lovers
❤️🔥 forced proximity
❤️🔥 angsty
❤️🔥 grieving/complicated past
❤️🔥 bullying
❤️🔥 hurt/comfort
❤️🔥 praise and degradation kink
❤️🔥 possessive/jealous af MMC
❤️🔥 “you’re mine” vibes
❤️🔥 SPICY SPICY
*pls check trigger warnings*
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝑿𝒂𝒗𝒊 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒕. 𝑵𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉, 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆, 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒄𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑.
my brain is too tired to write a proper review after taking my first exam for anatomy and physiology (literally haven’t been on goodreads in like 5 days due to studying 😫🥲, and now I’m free until the next one hehe), BUT i loved natexavi smsmsm. tons of pain, grief, tension, angst, anger, resentment, toxicity, co-dependency, possessiveness, hotness overload, and underneath it all…overwhelming love between these two ugh. 🥵🥹
it hurt so good!! 😭
there was so much push-pull, “i hate you, but you’re mine, but fuck off, you’re nothing to me, but don’t leave me bc i love u” energy between these two which did get a bit repetitive at times, yet didn’t take away from how much i loved them and their brutal-all consuming-dynamic at all.
will definitely come back to these two in the future. 🫶🏼
⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡ ⋆
❥ “𝑱𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎…” 𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒆 𝒎𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔. “𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕.” “𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕?”
“𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.”
the way frankie was on to nate and his obsession with xavi so quick…she really is that girl 💅🏻
❥“𝑻𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒚,” 𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆. “𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆? 𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅? 𝑰𝒕’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓.”
💔💔
❥ 𝑯𝒆’𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒙𝒚.
𝑰’𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒕, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒇𝒇. 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆. 𝑯𝒆’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓𝒔.
how very possessive of you nate 🤭
❥ “𝑭𝒖𝒄𝒌, 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒔𝒐 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚,” 𝑰 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓, 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒛𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒃 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒂𝒓. “𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆.”
“𝑫𝒐𝒏’𝒕,” 𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅, 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒔𝒂𝒅 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕. “𝑫𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖.”
🫠
❥𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒔𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕, 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅. 𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝒕𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒛𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕. 𝑰𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅, 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒆𝒕, 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒌 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝑰 𝒓𝒖𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓.
the fact that nate was always secretly so down bad for xavi plss
❥“𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝑰’𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌, 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕?”
“𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌.”
“𝒀𝒐𝒖’𝒗𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒂 𝒅𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒕𝒐𝒐,” 𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌, 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒆.
“𝑰 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕.”
“𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒔𝒐,” 𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔, 𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒄𝒌. “𝑩𝒆 𝒂 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕’𝒔 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆.”
🥵
❥ “𝑫𝒐 𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅?” 𝑰 𝒂𝒔𝒌.
“𝑺𝒐 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅,” 𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕, 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒑𝒔. “𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖? 𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒂𝒎𝒏 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅…”
𝑰 𝒏𝒐𝒅, 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒚 𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒌. “𝑴𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝒎𝒆,” 𝑰 𝒃𝒆𝒈. “𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆.”
xavi 🤝 needing nate’s hickeys all over him
⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡♡˙⟡ ⋆
❤️🔥 best friend’s older brother
❤️🔥 dual pov
❤️🔥 basketball player x emo/bratty boy
❤️🔥 enemies-to-lovers
❤️🔥 forced proximity
❤️🔥 angsty
❤️🔥 grieving/complicated past
❤️🔥 bullying
❤️🔥 hurt/comfort
❤️🔥 praise and degradation kink
❤️🔥 possessive/jealous af MMC
❤️🔥 “you’re mine” vibes
❤️🔥 SPICY SPICY
*pls check trigger warnings*
![Profile Image for Megan [At The Cottage].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1634561405i%2F25103878._UY200_CR50%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
September 4, 2023
MM Romance
Angsty Sexy Hate To Love
4.25 Stars ⭐️
I dont know how Bethany Winters does it but she makes me love books I’d normally hate. This was so toxic, sad and OTT but I ate this shit up. I didn’t love this as much as Reckless At WestBrook High (my guiltiest pleasure of all time) but once I picked this up I could not put it down and stayed up until 4am reading it. Nate and Xavi were both so broken that it made me teary eyed at times but the love they had for one another despite all the hurt made me so happy and the sex scenes were hot af. My favorite part of this book was the list especially when they started doing it together. The flashback scenes made me super teary eyed especially when we saw the events that lead to the devastation both men faced. It was just so heartbreaking at times. This also had amazing obsessive possessiveness and I loved the ending. It was swoony.
I thought I was going to 5 star this until some shit happened near the end that didn’t really fit with the rest. And unless I missed something, I don’t think we ever found out Frankie’s backstory? I had hoped there would have been a scene with Xavi where she confided in him once he began borrowing her chokers but that never happened. If we weren’t going to get a backstory then why was there so much secrecy about how her and Nate met? It just irked me not to have all the information.
But besides that petty bs, I loved this and I want more books from this author. 💗
Angsty Sexy Hate To Love
4.25 Stars ⭐️
I dont know how Bethany Winters does it but she makes me love books I’d normally hate. This was so toxic, sad and OTT but I ate this shit up. I didn’t love this as much as Reckless At WestBrook High (my guiltiest pleasure of all time) but once I picked this up I could not put it down and stayed up until 4am reading it. Nate and Xavi were both so broken that it made me teary eyed at times but the love they had for one another despite all the hurt made me so happy and the sex scenes were hot af. My favorite part of this book was the list especially when they started doing it together. The flashback scenes made me super teary eyed especially when we saw the events that lead to the devastation both men faced. It was just so heartbreaking at times. This also had amazing obsessive possessiveness and I loved the ending. It was swoony.
I thought I was going to 5 star this until some shit happened near the end that didn’t really fit with the rest. And unless I missed something, I don’t think we ever found out Frankie’s backstory? I had hoped there would have been a scene with Xavi where she confided in him once he began borrowing her chokers but that never happened. If we weren’t going to get a backstory then why was there so much secrecy about how her and Nate met? It just irked me not to have all the information.
But besides that petty bs, I loved this and I want more books from this author. 💗
September 2, 2023
4.5 ⭐️
Oh was I fully aware what kind of angst this book is going to be? Yes. Was I expecting it would eat me up this badly? No. And holy fucking shit to that.
It’s kind of funny. Cocky little thing like him has no idea how beautiful he is.
Ok first of all, this was soo fucking HAWT !!! What is up with the sex scenes, OH. MY. GOSH. The details?? And hate sex? Oh my fuuuuuuuck! Touches all of my buttons for the enemies to lovers trope 😩🥵 I really don’t get the appeal of sex tbh, and I HATE books with constant sex, but if it’s like THIS??? then yes, I AM IN.
I rated this book purely based on how much I enjoy this book and clearly it is soooooo much. I don’t think there was a solid memorable plot in this one, but this was sooo difficult to put down. Didn’t even check how many pages left, and was so excited to continue when I had to put it down. I didn’t even skim any part of this book. The writing flows really easy and I enjoy every second. Really, nothing much happens. Read trigger warnings.
This book was full of push and pull, angst, sexy scenes, jealousy, hate, hate and so much hate. The two characters were quite similar, read: fucked up. Although their pain were different and it wasn’t that appealing, the way their story was written is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 It was definitely the writing that sold this book.
“It doesn’t matter how hot you are or how good you are at taking my dick, party boy. You’re still the reason my sister is dead.”
I was scared hitting the 50% bcs I don’t really have a good record with these kind of book, but the enjoyment I felt didn’t diminish and I felt the comfort started blooming between them, and one scene made me emotional that I teared up so badly.
Some issues I have with this book:
1) I don’t think Frankie is necessary. I think her character was to emphasise the bisexuality of Nate (despite them being only bestfriends ), but I hate how she was written for that. M/F authors always do this I don’t like it. And some other side characters like Zoey and Jackson was unnecessary. 2) The climax was a bit anticlimatic to me. 3) Some parts of the writing were confusing as the author wrote too many details describing the scene. 4) Lacking of side characters’ backstory
my favourite details:
- their sex position every single time
- first sex scene
- hickeys everywhere
- beach scene SWOONIEST EVER
- carry him by the beach, drying his hair 😩😩😩😩
And that ENDING? I know it seems predictable but gahdamn, I still can’t stop smiling thinking of it.
Oh was I fully aware what kind of angst this book is going to be? Yes. Was I expecting it would eat me up this badly? No. And holy fucking shit to that.
It’s kind of funny. Cocky little thing like him has no idea how beautiful he is.
Ok first of all, this was soo fucking HAWT !!! What is up with the sex scenes, OH. MY. GOSH. The details?? And hate sex? Oh my fuuuuuuuck! Touches all of my buttons for the enemies to lovers trope 😩🥵 I really don’t get the appeal of sex tbh, and I HATE books with constant sex, but if it’s like THIS??? then yes, I AM IN.
I rated this book purely based on how much I enjoy this book and clearly it is soooooo much. I don’t think there was a solid memorable plot in this one, but this was sooo difficult to put down. Didn’t even check how many pages left, and was so excited to continue when I had to put it down. I didn’t even skim any part of this book. The writing flows really easy and I enjoy every second. Really, nothing much happens. Read trigger warnings.
This book was full of push and pull, angst, sexy scenes, jealousy, hate, hate and so much hate. The two characters were quite similar, read: fucked up. Although their pain were different and it wasn’t that appealing, the way their story was written is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 It was definitely the writing that sold this book.
“It doesn’t matter how hot you are or how good you are at taking my dick, party boy. You’re still the reason my sister is dead.”
I was scared hitting the 50% bcs I don’t really have a good record with these kind of book, but the enjoyment I felt didn’t diminish and I felt the comfort started blooming between them, and one scene made me emotional that I teared up so badly.
Some issues I have with this book:
1) I don’t think Frankie is necessary. I think her character was to emphasise the bisexuality of Nate (despite them being only bestfriends ), but I hate how she was written for that. M/F authors always do this I don’t like it. And some other side characters like Zoey and Jackson was unnecessary. 2) The climax was a bit anticlimatic to me. 3) Some parts of the writing were confusing as the author wrote too many details describing the scene. 4) Lacking of side characters’ backstory
my favourite details:
- their sex position every single time
- first sex scene
- hickeys everywhere
- beach scene SWOONIEST EVER
- carry him by the beach, drying his hair 😩😩😩😩
And that ENDING? I know it seems predictable but gahdamn, I still can’t stop smiling thinking of it.
August 26, 2023
⭐️ 3.5 stars ⭐️
Hate to love, college romance with an abundance of angst.
I really struggled with how to rate this, because some elements I loved and some I simply did not.
Let’s start with the ones I loved.
The angst was on point, I could almost feel the grief and hurt the characters were feeling.
When Nate and Xavi were together they were hot as fuck, so the spice was excellent. Bethany Winters really knows how to do great smut and from reading some of her other works I had no doubts it would be dirty and amazing.
Also loved the side characters, they had some nice depth and definition to them and actually served some kind of purpose to the story.
Now, my problems with Like you Hate Me were the plot and Nate.
Nate was an asshole for 90% of the book, and I at least expected there to be some serious groveling towards the end, but no. Xavi forgave him far too quickly for how much of a supreme dick Nate was to him the majority of the time.
The problem with the plot is that there was no plot. Nothing really happened in between the smut. It was just hate, smut, hate, smut, angst, and more smut. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the smut, but I would’ve also enjoyed some more action and something actually happening.
If you like bully romances with an HEA, this is the read for you.
CW and tropes(spoilers):
- Roommates
- Strict top/bottom roles
- Little bit of praise and degradation kink
- Jock MC vs emo sad boi MC
- Grief
- Death of side character
- Alcohol and drug use
- Depression and suicide ideation
- Stalking
I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
POV: 1st person, dual
Hate to love, college romance with an abundance of angst.
I really struggled with how to rate this, because some elements I loved and some I simply did not.
Let’s start with the ones I loved.
The angst was on point, I could almost feel the grief and hurt the characters were feeling.
When Nate and Xavi were together they were hot as fuck, so the spice was excellent. Bethany Winters really knows how to do great smut and from reading some of her other works I had no doubts it would be dirty and amazing.
Also loved the side characters, they had some nice depth and definition to them and actually served some kind of purpose to the story.
Now, my problems with Like you Hate Me were the plot and Nate.
Nate was an asshole for 90% of the book, and I at least expected there to be some serious groveling towards the end, but no. Xavi forgave him far too quickly for how much of a supreme dick Nate was to him the majority of the time.
The problem with the plot is that there was no plot. Nothing really happened in between the smut. It was just hate, smut, hate, smut, angst, and more smut. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the smut, but I would’ve also enjoyed some more action and something actually happening.
If you like bully romances with an HEA, this is the read for you.
CW and tropes(spoilers):
- Roommates
- Strict top/bottom roles
- Little bit of praise and degradation kink
- Jock MC vs emo sad boi MC
- Grief
- Death of side character
- Alcohol and drug use
- Depression and suicide ideation
- Stalking
I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
POV: 1st person, dual
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 1, 2025
I absolutely devoured this book from beginning to end, I couldn't put it down.
It reeled me in from page one and didn't let up, it was just so so good.
Xavi is 2 years younger than Nate and this starts as a true enemies to lovers. Or maybe not-really-secretly-pining and the other not liking the other various reasons (but also totally wanting him anyway and hating that fact). But as much as Xavi never really hates Nate, they are kind of enemies anyway because of what happens.
Xavi lost his older brother around 14 years old, and then meets his 'platonic soulmate' Katy, who is the younger sister of Nate. He also around that time gets hooked on drugs, and becomes a drug addict.
Nate is her sexy older brother, who has a bit of a chip on his shoulder, especially when it comes to Xavi. At first it's jealousy because Katy really does seem to love Xavi more than she loves Nate. But then because it becomes clear Xavi is an addict, and he slowly gets Katy addicted as well.
This starts off with the death of Katy, due to an overdose. This makes Nate absolutely hate Xavi, somewhat understandably.
Two years later, we find that Xavi has been spiraling, but something happens that we don't get to see all of that makes him check into rehab.
In present day, he went for 3 months and now is out. Nate and his best friend, Carter, have a house around their college campus. Carter kind of makes Xavi stay there while going the college they go to, the one Katy wanted to go to as well, even though Nate doesn't want Xavi there at first.
But at the same time that Nate seems to absolutely loathe Xavi, he's highly possessive of him. Especially as time goes on and they inch closer and closer together, as much as Nate denies, denies, denies.
But someone gets close to Xavi and Nate can and will punch their lights out.
Because as much as Nate 'hates' Xavi, he's always kind of loved him too. Even though that takes forever for him to admit.
Xavi is stone cold sober for the first time in 5 years, but it's more of a punishment to himself. Because he deserves to feel the pain instead of the nothingness doing drugs and alcohol would bring him.
While Xavi does have a part in what led up to Katy's death, to me he wasn't directly responsible, because Katy had a choice. I know peer pressure is hard to resist, but we learn Katy had some problems too, dealing with depression and such, and it would be tempting for her to try drugs.
Yes, Xavi being around her probably sped up her introduction to them, but I bet she would have been introduced them eventually, most likely in college, and it all would have happened anyway, just maybe pushed back a few years.
So as much as I understand Nate's pain and anger, and he needs some place to put it, and Xavi is convenient, I don't blame Xavi. He was just a teenager too, caught up in a drug addiction, and she was his only friend. And we find out why he wasn't around her at the time of her death, and it's understandable.
Yes, Xavi made so many mistakes, and he's doing his penance while being alive and sober, and facing Nate's understandable wrath, but I ultimately never blamed him for her death as I read this. As tragic as it was, it wasn't his fault.
And I think Nate comes to accept that, eventually. He just has to get there and that takes awhile.
He does treat Xavi like shit...quite a lot in this, so be prepared for that. He sets out to ruin Xavi for what he sees as Xavi's fault - his sister's death.
But these two get through the hurdles eventually and they get a wonderful HEA. All the shit is worth it to see where they get to and I LOVED it.
And also their chemistry was 🔥 and a big part of what I loved about this. Not only was the story good (and not even remotely OTT, as the author has done in the past. I mean, yes it's angst city, but it's believable angst, even for teenagers? So I didn't mind it in the least), but their chemistry was off the charts amazing.
And the push and pull between them was good too. And Nate acts like such a possessive asshole, I LOVED it. And he gets a little stalker-ish at times, so be prepared for that (he even watches Xavi while he sleeps and touches him a few times while he sleeps without his consent, so also keep that in mind). While Xavi 100% wants it and loves it, still doesn't make him doing it without consent okay.
So there is a toxic element to these two, for sure, but it's oh so deliciously good.
I can't wait for the next book from this author, I find she's improving so much the more she writes. I'll be on the lookout for the next work from her, I can't wait! 😍
Definitely pick this up if you haven't already. It was just so so good!
It reeled me in from page one and didn't let up, it was just so so good.
Xavi is 2 years younger than Nate and this starts as a true enemies to lovers. Or maybe not-really-secretly-pining and the other not liking the other various reasons (but also totally wanting him anyway and hating that fact). But as much as Xavi never really hates Nate, they are kind of enemies anyway because of what happens.
Xavi lost his older brother around 14 years old, and then meets his 'platonic soulmate' Katy, who is the younger sister of Nate. He also around that time gets hooked on drugs, and becomes a drug addict.
Nate is her sexy older brother, who has a bit of a chip on his shoulder, especially when it comes to Xavi. At first it's jealousy because Katy really does seem to love Xavi more than she loves Nate. But then because it becomes clear Xavi is an addict, and he slowly gets Katy addicted as well.
This starts off with the death of Katy, due to an overdose. This makes Nate absolutely hate Xavi, somewhat understandably.
Two years later, we find that Xavi has been spiraling, but something happens that we don't get to see all of that makes him check into rehab.
In present day, he went for 3 months and now is out. Nate and his best friend, Carter, have a house around their college campus. Carter kind of makes Xavi stay there while going the college they go to, the one Katy wanted to go to as well, even though Nate doesn't want Xavi there at first.
But at the same time that Nate seems to absolutely loathe Xavi, he's highly possessive of him. Especially as time goes on and they inch closer and closer together, as much as Nate denies, denies, denies.
But someone gets close to Xavi and Nate can and will punch their lights out.
Because as much as Nate 'hates' Xavi, he's always kind of loved him too. Even though that takes forever for him to admit.
Xavi is stone cold sober for the first time in 5 years, but it's more of a punishment to himself. Because he deserves to feel the pain instead of the nothingness doing drugs and alcohol would bring him.
While Xavi does have a part in what led up to Katy's death, to me he wasn't directly responsible, because Katy had a choice. I know peer pressure is hard to resist, but we learn Katy had some problems too, dealing with depression and such, and it would be tempting for her to try drugs.
Yes, Xavi being around her probably sped up her introduction to them, but I bet she would have been introduced them eventually, most likely in college, and it all would have happened anyway, just maybe pushed back a few years.
So as much as I understand Nate's pain and anger, and he needs some place to put it, and Xavi is convenient, I don't blame Xavi. He was just a teenager too, caught up in a drug addiction, and she was his only friend. And we find out why he wasn't around her at the time of her death, and it's understandable.
Yes, Xavi made so many mistakes, and he's doing his penance while being alive and sober, and facing Nate's understandable wrath, but I ultimately never blamed him for her death as I read this. As tragic as it was, it wasn't his fault.
And I think Nate comes to accept that, eventually. He just has to get there and that takes awhile.
He does treat Xavi like shit...quite a lot in this, so be prepared for that. He sets out to ruin Xavi for what he sees as Xavi's fault - his sister's death.
But these two get through the hurdles eventually and they get a wonderful HEA. All the shit is worth it to see where they get to and I LOVED it.
And also their chemistry was 🔥 and a big part of what I loved about this. Not only was the story good (and not even remotely OTT, as the author has done in the past. I mean, yes it's angst city, but it's believable angst, even for teenagers? So I didn't mind it in the least), but their chemistry was off the charts amazing.
And the push and pull between them was good too. And Nate acts like such a possessive asshole, I LOVED it. And he gets a little stalker-ish at times, so be prepared for that (he even watches Xavi while he sleeps and touches him a few times while he sleeps without his consent, so also keep that in mind). While Xavi 100% wants it and loves it, still doesn't make him doing it without consent okay.
So there is a toxic element to these two, for sure, but it's oh so deliciously good.
I can't wait for the next book from this author, I find she's improving so much the more she writes. I'll be on the lookout for the next work from her, I can't wait! 😍
Definitely pick this up if you haven't already. It was just so so good!
June 24, 2024
This book would have been so much better if Xavi was allowed to shoot Nate in the head... multiple times. Make it a 2-for-1 special and let him shoot Carter too. Xavi wasn't even much better himself, he was so stupid I wanted to shoot him too!
This book is exactly what you find under the 'porn without plot' tag on ao3. I was confused on what was happening the entire book, literally nothing made sense except that a girl died, she was Nate's sister and all the mcs in this are assholes.
It was so repetitive and boring. After the third 'he fucked me and told me to leave' and the consistent miscommunication, I was just about done with it. The mcs also had zero chemistry or sexual tension which is crazy considering like 60% of it is smut. Boring, horribly written smut but smut nonetheless.
Is it really enemies to lovers when one person is clearly taking advantage of the other person being a bad mental state?? Nate was manipulating Xavi and idk how the author expects me to like him after??
This book is exactly what you find under the 'porn without plot' tag on ao3. I was confused on what was happening the entire book, literally nothing made sense except that a girl died, she was Nate's sister and all the mcs in this are assholes.
It was so repetitive and boring. After the third 'he fucked me and told me to leave' and the consistent miscommunication, I was just about done with it. The mcs also had zero chemistry or sexual tension which is crazy considering like 60% of it is smut. Boring, horribly written smut but smut nonetheless.
Is it really enemies to lovers when one person is clearly taking advantage of the other person being a bad mental state?? Nate was manipulating Xavi and idk how the author expects me to like him after??
September 16, 2023
Super promising but it was waaaay too much assholery from Nate. Xavi deserved better. I needed a bit more time of Nate being kind and loving for him to win me over and I just didn’t get it. He was awful to Xavi til nearly the end, and even then I wasn’t convinced.
Well-written, addicting, possessive, and toxic, but it just didn’t turn around in time for me and I got bored and annoyed by the end. I even got tired of the sex scenes because while they were hot, I knew Nate was going to be a fucking asshole to Xavi as soon as they were done. Every time.
I did really like the secondary characters!
Well-written, addicting, possessive, and toxic, but it just didn’t turn around in time for me and I got bored and annoyed by the end. I even got tired of the sex scenes because while they were hot, I knew Nate was going to be a fucking asshole to Xavi as soon as they were done. Every time.
I did really like the secondary characters!
September 19, 2024
Everyone in this is kind of an asshole but they're hot whilst doing it.
This is fun in a chaotic toxic kinda way. It didn't change my life or anything and I just wish there was more of a focus on the little things these 2 bonded over (ie. The sisters checklist). I do think my expectations of this were different to the book itself and that is so fine but I was just expecting a little more?
I will say there is something super abrupt about how this is written. I think it lacks a subtlety between shifts in scenes that kinda cause it to seem super erratic and stunts the characters overall development. Now that could 100% be a personal preference thing but it did keep pulling me out of the story to the point i had to keep going back. If you are in the mood for something toxic and a little whack, it is a lot of fun. I flew through it quickly because it is soooo fast-paced that I was never bored.
This book did kinda remind me of a much more palatable Inevitable Destruction by Marie Ann. There's something about Xavi and Nates' relationship that is very Rhett and Dom coded without the absolute carnage that was in that book. So if you've read that and wish it was less fucked up so you could enjoy it, you will probably love these 2.
But overall the smut is hot. They hate eachother. Nate is a dick (affectionate). Xavi is a babygirl. Carter is the MVP. And I will read the fuck out of this series regardless.
Ratings
⭐️⭐️⭐️.5
🌶🌶🌶
This is fun in a chaotic toxic kinda way. It didn't change my life or anything and I just wish there was more of a focus on the little things these 2 bonded over (ie. The sisters checklist). I do think my expectations of this were different to the book itself and that is so fine but I was just expecting a little more?
I will say there is something super abrupt about how this is written. I think it lacks a subtlety between shifts in scenes that kinda cause it to seem super erratic and stunts the characters overall development. Now that could 100% be a personal preference thing but it did keep pulling me out of the story to the point i had to keep going back. If you are in the mood for something toxic and a little whack, it is a lot of fun. I flew through it quickly because it is soooo fast-paced that I was never bored.
This book did kinda remind me of a much more palatable Inevitable Destruction by Marie Ann. There's something about Xavi and Nates' relationship that is very Rhett and Dom coded without the absolute carnage that was in that book. So if you've read that and wish it was less fucked up so you could enjoy it, you will probably love these 2.
But overall the smut is hot. They hate eachother. Nate is a dick (affectionate). Xavi is a babygirl. Carter is the MVP. And I will read the fuck out of this series regardless.
Ratings
⭐️⭐️⭐️.5
🌶🌶🌶
March 7, 2024
This book gave me whiplash.
Irritated the fuck outta me.
400 pages of drama and un-hot toxicity. No, scratch that, just pointless unnecessary drama.
I'm giving it 2.25⭐ because there's... something there, I guess, but then I'm thinking - it's Nate and Xavi and where have I heard that before? 🤔 Well, these Nate and Xavi are at least a 🤏 more palatable than those two, but I digress.
And the first thing that caught my eye - a hand on that cover. I mean the guy is hot, but I'm a hands person and damn, those bitten down nails, yuck! 🥴
This is what you're getting
🔵 The book revolves around the dead sister/best friend
🟣 MMCs are in a love/hate dynamic
�� Bisexual/gay
🟡 Hurt/comfort
🔵 MMCs are both erratic but Xavi is definitely a better character
🟣 Drama, drama, drama
🟢 Does he want him or not?? Make up your mind already!!
🌶️ A lot of sex, quite good, but sadly no topping from Xavi and we were almost led to believe it was going to happen; t/b
“You sure?” he teases.
“Baby, he’s balls deep in love with you and he hates you for it. That’s why he’s treating you like shit. That’s probably why he’s always treated you like shit.”
Nate definitely treats Xavi like shit. Xavi was Nate's little blind sister's best friend and they were as thick as thieves, attached at the hip, they did everything together. They fell into some dangerous waters with partying and drugs, but from what I've seen here, Xavi really cared for her.
And the whole time Nate just keeps yapping about what Xavi did.
Now, if I got it right, the sister's family was ashamed of her - because she was blind. They didn't want her around. She had noone. She didn't get along with Nate. And Nate keeps talking about her like she was his ex, literally if I didn't know it was his sister, I'd think Nate and Xavi were fighting over the ex.
But Xavi was there, all the time. And Nate was apparently jealous. But he didn't do anything about it though. And when someone tried to hurt her, Xavi stepped in and took the fall, but she died anyway. And how was that his doing and his fault? I don't see it. I really dont. Xavi's painted as a complete villain when he's really not. He's troubled, in recovery and completely alone - but not a villain.
🟠 Nate is an ass. Nate has a really good best friend Carter and his character was the only one I liked in this book, but Nate? Yep, a complete asshole. What a dick!
How did he get away with it with Xavi?? That guy definitely had some intense grovelling to do, he needed to get a little bit of that nasty attitude served right back at him and that never happened.
Xavi was like a little puppy, he was just hanging around his master, waiting for some crumbs. Waiting for some affection. I really wanted Xavi to realise his worth, go out there a little bit and meet someone new. I honestly thought it was going to happen but here's the kicker - Nate knew Xavi was a catch yet he kept treating him like shit and I guess kind of hoping Xavi wouldn't wake up and realise he's hot and could do so much better than a dickface Nate.
Nate's possessiveness and almost literal obsession with Xavi wasn't hot. It wasn't sexy. It was damn toxic and not in a good psycho book boyfriend kinda way, no, in a I'd punch him in the face kinda way. What a dick!
“You really gonna be a little bitch about this?” I ask, holding him tighter when he tries to fight me off. “What, did you think I was gonna find out you’ve been in love with me for years, hear you cry and run after you to tell you I love you too?”
“Something like that,” he mutters, and I shake my head.
“That’s never gonna happen.”
Yeah, yeah, shut up, dickface.
What an unlikeable character, ugh! I hated his ass. The love story he got with Xavi? Didn't deserve it. No way in hell.
Nate was constantly doing this toxic push and pull and even by around 70% he wasn't letting up. And by that point it was clear that he was in love with Xavi too, but he had a nasty way of showing it - and again, not in a hot toxic book boyfriend kinda way. He was just an ass. That's it.
I've read a couple of books from this author and this is their standard writing, I think. A lot of drama, toxicity bordering on so much bullshit it's hard to swallow at times, so you really have to be in a mood for it.
This story wasn't that satisfying, as it's clear and even if the characters were good - and Xavi was a good character, but again, he didn't have a backbone - the way the story develops wasn't working for me. There was never that final emotional breakdown for Nate and his character didn't grow, he just relaxed a bit and that was it. I couldn't see Xavi and Nate having a future together, at least not for the long haul.
This book had a lot of hype and I can't seem to get it. 😀 I don't see it!
Irritated the fuck outta me.
400 pages of drama and un-hot toxicity. No, scratch that, just pointless unnecessary drama.
I'm giving it 2.25⭐ because there's... something there, I guess, but then I'm thinking - it's Nate and Xavi and where have I heard that before? 🤔 Well, these Nate and Xavi are at least a 🤏 more palatable than those two, but I digress.
And the first thing that caught my eye - a hand on that cover. I mean the guy is hot, but I'm a hands person and damn, those bitten down nails, yuck! 🥴
This is what you're getting
🔵 The book revolves around the dead sister/best friend
🟣 MMCs are in a love/hate dynamic
�� Bisexual/gay
🟡 Hurt/comfort
🔵 MMCs are both erratic but Xavi is definitely a better character
🟣 Drama, drama, drama
🟢 Does he want him or not?? Make up your mind already!!
🌶️ A lot of sex, quite good, but sadly no topping from Xavi and we were almost led to believe it was going to happen; t/b
“You sure?” he teases.
“Baby, he’s balls deep in love with you and he hates you for it. That’s why he’s treating you like shit. That’s probably why he’s always treated you like shit.”
Nate definitely treats Xavi like shit. Xavi was Nate's little blind sister's best friend and they were as thick as thieves, attached at the hip, they did everything together. They fell into some dangerous waters with partying and drugs, but from what I've seen here, Xavi really cared for her.
And the whole time Nate just keeps yapping about what Xavi did.
Now, if I got it right, the sister's family was ashamed of her - because she was blind. They didn't want her around. She had noone. She didn't get along with Nate. And Nate keeps talking about her like she was his ex, literally if I didn't know it was his sister, I'd think Nate and Xavi were fighting over the ex.
But Xavi was there, all the time. And Nate was apparently jealous. But he didn't do anything about it though. And when someone tried to hurt her, Xavi stepped in and took the fall, but she died anyway. And how was that his doing and his fault? I don't see it. I really dont. Xavi's painted as a complete villain when he's really not. He's troubled, in recovery and completely alone - but not a villain.
🟠 Nate is an ass. Nate has a really good best friend Carter and his character was the only one I liked in this book, but Nate? Yep, a complete asshole. What a dick!
How did he get away with it with Xavi?? That guy definitely had some intense grovelling to do, he needed to get a little bit of that nasty attitude served right back at him and that never happened.
Xavi was like a little puppy, he was just hanging around his master, waiting for some crumbs. Waiting for some affection. I really wanted Xavi to realise his worth, go out there a little bit and meet someone new. I honestly thought it was going to happen but here's the kicker - Nate knew Xavi was a catch yet he kept treating him like shit and I guess kind of hoping Xavi wouldn't wake up and realise he's hot and could do so much better than a dickface Nate.
Nate's possessiveness and almost literal obsession with Xavi wasn't hot. It wasn't sexy. It was damn toxic and not in a good psycho book boyfriend kinda way, no, in a I'd punch him in the face kinda way. What a dick!
“You really gonna be a little bitch about this?” I ask, holding him tighter when he tries to fight me off. “What, did you think I was gonna find out you’ve been in love with me for years, hear you cry and run after you to tell you I love you too?”
“Something like that,” he mutters, and I shake my head.
“That’s never gonna happen.”
Yeah, yeah, shut up, dickface.
What an unlikeable character, ugh! I hated his ass. The love story he got with Xavi? Didn't deserve it. No way in hell.
Nate was constantly doing this toxic push and pull and even by around 70% he wasn't letting up. And by that point it was clear that he was in love with Xavi too, but he had a nasty way of showing it - and again, not in a hot toxic book boyfriend kinda way. He was just an ass. That's it.
I've read a couple of books from this author and this is their standard writing, I think. A lot of drama, toxicity bordering on so much bullshit it's hard to swallow at times, so you really have to be in a mood for it.
This story wasn't that satisfying, as it's clear and even if the characters were good - and Xavi was a good character, but again, he didn't have a backbone - the way the story develops wasn't working for me. There was never that final emotional breakdown for Nate and his character didn't grow, he just relaxed a bit and that was it. I couldn't see Xavi and Nate having a future together, at least not for the long haul.
This book had a lot of hype and I can't seem to get it. 😀 I don't see it!
December 12, 2023
Yes
God yes!
Read this book!
I’m obsessed OBBSESSED!!
Can this book be my whole personality now? I would 300 more pages of them easily.
Ugh. I don’t want it to be over!
Nate & Xavi are EVERYTHING!
This book was relentless in the emotion and torment. Nate hated Xavi for very distinct reasons and Xavi believed he deserved all the hate. They were oil and water but also moths to flames - clearly I’m operating on cliches. Anyway, both men were horribly depressed and lonely. Neither knew how to get out of it and in some ways I think they found solace in their sadness. They were both living with so much guilt and sought pain as penance.
By far the most beautiful obsessive, sexiest, wild hate sex I have ever read BUT every time it felt like they fell deeper and deeper. Everything that Nate gave Xavi took without question or even complaint. Both were so desperate to feel something but felt they only deserved the worst.
I don’t want to give anything away so I will say that there wasn’t anything I would change and I am absolutely addicted to that passion of these two - in every single way!
God yes!
Read this book!
I’m obsessed OBBSESSED!!
Can this book be my whole personality now? I would 300 more pages of them easily.
Ugh. I don’t want it to be over!
Nate & Xavi are EVERYTHING!
This book was relentless in the emotion and torment. Nate hated Xavi for very distinct reasons and Xavi believed he deserved all the hate. They were oil and water but also moths to flames - clearly I’m operating on cliches. Anyway, both men were horribly depressed and lonely. Neither knew how to get out of it and in some ways I think they found solace in their sadness. They were both living with so much guilt and sought pain as penance.
By far the most beautiful obsessive, sexiest, wild hate sex I have ever read BUT every time it felt like they fell deeper and deeper. Everything that Nate gave Xavi took without question or even complaint. Both were so desperate to feel something but felt they only deserved the worst.
I don’t want to give anything away so I will say that there wasn’t anything I would change and I am absolutely addicted to that passion of these two - in every single way!
January 26, 2024
He smells so sweet, and it pisses me off. Xavi Hart isn't sweet. He's poisonous.
🌟 Star Rating - 5/5
🔥 Spice Rating - 4/5
What To Expect:
🖤 MM Romance
❤️ Angsty
🖤 Hate to Love You
❤️ Only I Can Hurt You
🖤 Pining
❤️ Praise and Degradation
𝑨𝑹𝑪 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒘
To say this book hurt would be a serious understatement. It took my heart and absolutely shredded it with these two, I love a good bully romance and this one was superbly done. The story behind their hatred of one another was a painful one, these two are grieving so much and clearly haven't come to terms fully with their loss. These two are not perfect in any way, they are flawed men whose obsession with one another is toxic, but it's completely irresistible. Bethany Winters knows how to write hard-hitting angst that stays with you long after the book is finished, and I miss the feeling of rereading it for the first time. Overall this book was a stunner and I loved every moment of it.
🌟 Star Rating - 5/5
🔥 Spice Rating - 4/5
What To Expect:
🖤 MM Romance
❤️ Angsty
🖤 Hate to Love You
❤️ Only I Can Hurt You
🖤 Pining
❤️ Praise and Degradation
𝑨𝑹𝑪 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒘
To say this book hurt would be a serious understatement. It took my heart and absolutely shredded it with these two, I love a good bully romance and this one was superbly done. The story behind their hatred of one another was a painful one, these two are grieving so much and clearly haven't come to terms fully with their loss. These two are not perfect in any way, they are flawed men whose obsession with one another is toxic, but it's completely irresistible. Bethany Winters knows how to write hard-hitting angst that stays with you long after the book is finished, and I miss the feeling of rereading it for the first time. Overall this book was a stunner and I loved every moment of it.
August 31, 2023
Every single character was annoying. Carter was just ick to the max. Xavi & Nate did not work together and we are meant to see hate turn into love and all I saw was hate and abuse for the sake of it. Sex, kick Xavi out, jealousy, rinse and repeat. I usually like when there's a 'Mine' in books but definitely not here. It wasn't good but then again, I should have known this author is not really for me as I DNF a previous book. Meh.
April 22, 2025
4⭐️
нейт та ксаві максимально токсична парочка, від якої я не могла відірватись. люблю яскраво прописаний троп "від ненависті" зі зрозумілою мотивацією, і з цим тут все гуд. так, були болючі моменти пов'язані з втратою близької людини і залежностями, але вони не обтяжували історію надмірною похмурістю. запальна взаємодія цих двох, перепалки, одержимість і гарячий секс з ненависті виривались на перший план 😅
і от спайсі сцени тут дійсно смачні. спочатку кайфуєш від того, як все шалено, агресивно і грубо розвивається, а потім вловлюєш рідкісні ніжні та тендітні моменти, вже просякнуті почуттями ☺️
єдине, якось просто показано, яким чином ксаві впорався із залежностями. аргумент, що без цього він відчуває увесь біль, трохи не переконав. особливо, коли його постійно оточувала спокуса і він спокійно її ігнорував. але то таке, в цілому це було приємне читання 😌
о і другорядні персонажі не відчувались картонними і теж по-своєму мене зацікавили. істон, картер і бунтарка френкі, хочу їх книги прочитати 🥹
нейт та ксаві максимально токсична парочка, від якої я не могла відірватись. люблю яскраво прописаний троп "від ненависті" зі зрозумілою мотивацією, і з цим тут все гуд. так, були болючі моменти пов'язані з втратою близької людини і залежностями, але вони не обтяжували історію надмірною похмурістю. запальна взаємодія цих двох, перепалки, одержимість і гарячий секс з ненависті виривались на перший план 😅
і от спайсі сцени тут дійсно смачні. спочатку кайфуєш від того, як все шалено, агресивно і грубо розвивається, а потім вловлюєш рідкісні ніжні та тендітні моменти, вже просякнуті почуттями ☺️
єдине, якось просто показано, яким чином ксаві впорався із залежностями. аргумент, що без цього він відчуває увесь біль, трохи не переконав. особливо, коли його постійно оточувала спокуса і він спокійно її ігнорував. але то таке, в цілому це було приємне читання 😌
о і другорядні персонажі не відчувались картонними і теж по-своєму мене зацікавили. істон, картер і бунтарка френкі, хочу їх книги прочитати 🥹
December 17, 2025
4.25🌟
Hot + heartbreaking + MM = GIRRLLL DINNNNERRR🫦
xavi & nate have my heart 🥹🤍 the jealousy, the love, the hate sex…. 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 xavi was so fucking adorable he was like a little puppy i just want to squeeze him
You know, I was actually surprised by the emotional depth to this story. And on top of that, I had so much fun with this and didn’t want to stop reading. We got great side characters too, so I’m really excited to read the next book!!
S/o to my bestie @LauraJane for telling me to read this one bc it was a WINNNNN
Hot + heartbreaking + MM = GIRRLLL DINNNNERRR🫦
xavi & nate have my heart 🥹🤍 the jealousy, the love, the hate sex…. 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 xavi was so fucking adorable he was like a little puppy i just want to squeeze him
You know, I was actually surprised by the emotional depth to this story. And on top of that, I had so much fun with this and didn’t want to stop reading. We got great side characters too, so I’m really excited to read the next book!!
S/o to my bestie @LauraJane for telling me to read this one bc it was a WINNNNN
Read
June 30, 2025I hate Nate. What a prick. I can’t continue with this 🙄
I know there are a few of you out there who LOVED this. Yes, it’s enemies to lovers. Not rivals. Not 2 guys disliking each other. HATE, if only one sided.
It begins with Xavi being on the verge of jumping off a cliff with his bike (literally), and him calling Nate.
Then we have a few time jumps to explain how he got there.
Nate HATES Xavi because he blames him for the death of his sister, who died at 17 after consuming some drugs (? It’s not entirely clear. But she died. Xavi was her best friend. And he drank and did drugs, too, so it was his fault. Obviously.)
2 years later, Xavi went to rehab, and for some unfathomable reason is obligated to move in to where Nate is staying (don’t ask. It’s complicated.). And Nate still hates Xavi, and punches him. Only to fuck him later at a party. And then to throw him away like a piece of trash because he hates him again.
For some reason I can’t comprehend though, Xavi has a thing for Nate. Always has. And just… rolls on his back and takes the emotional beating, because ofc he feels guilty about the death of his bff.
I just… Can’t. I want to jump in and hug Xavi. He deserves better than Nate. There are so many red flags there, I can’t even begin to count them.
The audiobook is decently narrated, a shame it makes me so angry.
Dnf at 27%, no rating.
I know there are a few of you out there who LOVED this. Yes, it’s enemies to lovers. Not rivals. Not 2 guys disliking each other. HATE, if only one sided.
It begins with Xavi being on the verge of jumping off a cliff with his bike (literally), and him calling Nate.
Then we have a few time jumps to explain how he got there.
Nate HATES Xavi because he blames him for the death of his sister, who died at 17 after consuming some drugs (? It’s not entirely clear. But she died. Xavi was her best friend. And he drank and did drugs, too, so it was his fault. Obviously.)
2 years later, Xavi went to rehab, and for some unfathomable reason is obligated to move in to where Nate is staying (don’t ask. It’s complicated.). And Nate still hates Xavi, and punches him. Only to fuck him later at a party. And then to throw him away like a piece of trash because he hates him again.
For some reason I can’t comprehend though, Xavi has a thing for Nate. Always has. And just… rolls on his back and takes the emotional beating, because ofc he feels guilty about the death of his bff.
I just… Can’t. I want to jump in and hug Xavi. He deserves better than Nate. There are so many red flags there, I can’t even begin to count them.
The audiobook is decently narrated, a shame it makes me so angry.
Dnf at 27%, no rating.
September 1, 2023
in the end i just hated every character in this book 🙄
September 15, 2023
Like You Hate Me by Bethany Winters was dual POV and I loved every minute of it. These two together are like a hurricane meeting a tornado and setting it on fire. Hate love is just so good 🔥🔥
“Jesus, the way you look at him…” Frankie mutters. “I wish someone would look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like they wanna fight me and fuck me at the same time.”
🏳️🌈MM Romance
🏳️🌈Pining
🏳️🌈Hate Sex
🏳️🌈Addiction
🏳️🌈Shared Past
🏳️🌈Hate to Love
🏳️🌈Bully Romance
🏳️🌈Hand Necklaces
🏳️🌈Jealous/Possessive
🏳️🌈Praise/Degradation
🏳️🌈Sister’s Best Friend
🏳️🌈Roommates/Forced Proximity
This enemies to lovers romance is worth all the hype. I’ve never fallen for a book so fast. I devoured this and I’m completely in love with these two. Nate and Xavi are everything.
“Fuck. Keep going just like that. You look so hot like this, baby.”
The angst and the pining in this book are next level. My heart hurt so much for all these two went through/put themselves through. The sorrow and guilt that surrounds them is vast. They are both also so overcome with regret that it’s drowning them.
“You’re not my boyfriend, party boy. You’re not my anything.”
This one is intense and what Nate does to Xavi sometimes is heartless and cold. Just be prepare and make sure you read the trigger warnings before starting this book.
“Baby, he’s balls deep in love with you and he hates you for it. That’s why he’s treating you like shit. That’s probably why he’s always treated you like shit.”
Bethany Winters did an amazing job on this. This is the first book I’ve read by her and I can’t wait to find more. I just love finding new authors.
“Carter calls me that.”
“I don’t give a shit what he calls you.” He grabs my ass, holding me down on him possessively. “You’re not his. You’re mine. My baby boy…”
“Jesus, the way you look at him…” Frankie mutters. “I wish someone would look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like they wanna fight me and fuck me at the same time.”
🏳️🌈MM Romance
🏳️🌈Pining
🏳️🌈Hate Sex
🏳️🌈Addiction
🏳️🌈Shared Past
🏳️🌈Hate to Love
🏳️🌈Bully Romance
🏳️🌈Hand Necklaces
🏳️🌈Jealous/Possessive
🏳️🌈Praise/Degradation
🏳️🌈Sister’s Best Friend
🏳️🌈Roommates/Forced Proximity
This enemies to lovers romance is worth all the hype. I’ve never fallen for a book so fast. I devoured this and I’m completely in love with these two. Nate and Xavi are everything.
“Fuck. Keep going just like that. You look so hot like this, baby.”
The angst and the pining in this book are next level. My heart hurt so much for all these two went through/put themselves through. The sorrow and guilt that surrounds them is vast. They are both also so overcome with regret that it’s drowning them.
“You’re not my boyfriend, party boy. You’re not my anything.”
This one is intense and what Nate does to Xavi sometimes is heartless and cold. Just be prepare and make sure you read the trigger warnings before starting this book.
“Baby, he’s balls deep in love with you and he hates you for it. That’s why he’s treating you like shit. That’s probably why he’s always treated you like shit.”
Bethany Winters did an amazing job on this. This is the first book I’ve read by her and I can’t wait to find more. I just love finding new authors.
“Carter calls me that.”
“I don’t give a shit what he calls you.” He grabs my ass, holding me down on him possessively. “You’re not his. You’re mine. My baby boy…”
August 29, 2023
"So much for being done, I think to myself, but I don’t care. My heart aches for him so bad it hurts. I couldn’t walk away right now if I wanted to."
Two flawed and broken boys. A festering hatred that is going to implode. And a girl they both love, who joins them together but also forces them apart.......SO. DAMN. GOOD
To be clear, this is a dark MM romance, i.e. no female love interest, although there are strong FMCs that I loved. And I absolutely adored Nate and Xavi's story, equal parts obsessively passionate and obsessively destructive. Hate to love, but still hating that there's love - the best kind!
There are some dark elements/storylines, so do check the author's website if you need to.
You're going to adore this one too, if you love:
🖤 Hate to love
🖤 Hurt/comfort
🖤 Dual POV
🖤 All the angst
🖤 Steamy AF
🖤 Bully/praise k!nk
🖤 Hard won HEA
5 stars all the way!
Two flawed and broken boys. A festering hatred that is going to implode. And a girl they both love, who joins them together but also forces them apart.......SO. DAMN. GOOD
To be clear, this is a dark MM romance, i.e. no female love interest, although there are strong FMCs that I loved. And I absolutely adored Nate and Xavi's story, equal parts obsessively passionate and obsessively destructive. Hate to love, but still hating that there's love - the best kind!
There are some dark elements/storylines, so do check the author's website if you need to.
You're going to adore this one too, if you love:
🖤 Hate to love
🖤 Hurt/comfort
🖤 Dual POV
🖤 All the angst
🖤 Steamy AF
🖤 Bully/praise k!nk
🖤 Hard won HEA
5 stars all the way!
August 20, 2024
5 ⭐️
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️.5/5
Format: ebook
“‘Do you really expect me to forget what you did?’
‘I don’t want you to forget,’ he whispers, holding my gaze as he blinks the fresh tears from his eyes. ‘I just want you to love me anyway.’”
This was a book I wasn’t really sure if I was even going to like until about the 40-ish percent range. It was a rough, heavy read. Very high-angst, and just so many negative vibes. This is a book where when they said hate fucking, they meant hate fucking. Yikes.
Nate was a really difficult character to like. He treated Xavi like shit, and while I understood somewhat why he felt that way, he did seem to take it too far on many occasions. I found Xavi extremely lovable. He was just a sad, broken boy who let Nate hurt him because he felt he deserved it. And then the ghost of Katy lingered in everything they did.
The progression from hate to love was very slow, but I definitely noticed it happening overtime. Nate would do little things here and there that showed he didn’t hate Xavi as much as he let on, and the moments grew the further along we got. I actually enjoyed the slow burn, and I felt it was more authentic to the enemies to lovers trope that way. The push and pull was overwhelming. The spice was also out of this world. There wasn’t a lot of foreplay or dirty talk, but the depravity and debauchery were right up my alley. Nate and Xavi are freaks in bed.
I also initially found both Carter and Frankie insufferable but as the book went on I actually came to really like both of them. Carter is still an asshole, but I’ve come to accept that’s just who he is, and he started to become almost endearing to me. I kind of hope he gets his own book in the future, I would definitely read it.
The plot line was also super interesting and I was excited to get to where we learned what happened that led to the events in the prologue. I just wish we got a little more information on what happened to Katy and what the photos from Devin were about, but otherwise I was addicted to this story.
Updated 8/19/24: SO EXCITED THERE WILL BE MORE BOOKS IN THIS SERIES! The author said there will be a Carter book in the future, which is all I want in the world.
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️.5/5
Format: ebook
“‘Do you really expect me to forget what you did?’
‘I don’t want you to forget,’ he whispers, holding my gaze as he blinks the fresh tears from his eyes. ‘I just want you to love me anyway.’”
This was a book I wasn’t really sure if I was even going to like until about the 40-ish percent range. It was a rough, heavy read. Very high-angst, and just so many negative vibes. This is a book where when they said hate fucking, they meant hate fucking. Yikes.
Nate was a really difficult character to like. He treated Xavi like shit, and while I understood somewhat why he felt that way, he did seem to take it too far on many occasions. I found Xavi extremely lovable. He was just a sad, broken boy who let Nate hurt him because he felt he deserved it. And then the ghost of Katy lingered in everything they did.
The progression from hate to love was very slow, but I definitely noticed it happening overtime. Nate would do little things here and there that showed he didn’t hate Xavi as much as he let on, and the moments grew the further along we got. I actually enjoyed the slow burn, and I felt it was more authentic to the enemies to lovers trope that way. The push and pull was overwhelming. The spice was also out of this world. There wasn’t a lot of foreplay or dirty talk, but the depravity and debauchery were right up my alley. Nate and Xavi are freaks in bed.
I also initially found both Carter and Frankie insufferable but as the book went on I actually came to really like both of them. Carter is still an asshole, but I’ve come to accept that’s just who he is, and he started to become almost endearing to me. I kind of hope he gets his own book in the future, I would definitely read it.
The plot line was also super interesting and I was excited to get to where we learned what happened that led to the events in the prologue. I just wish we got a little more information on what happened to Katy and what the photos from Devin were about, but otherwise I was addicted to this story.
Updated 8/19/24: SO EXCITED THERE WILL BE MORE BOOKS IN THIS SERIES! The author said there will be a Carter book in the future, which is all I want in the world.
February 11, 2024
Take this one star rating with a grain of salt because this book really pissed me off.
Throughout reading this, I was just like “Xavi has no backbone whatsoever” and at first it was endearing coupled with the situation following the dead sister and their past I could even understand all that being fueled by guilt but after sometime? By the stars I was OVER IT.
Xavi let Nate USE the fuck out of him only to one day cry wolf and say “I love you okay, I’ve always loved you”
EXCUSE ME? It just really felt like Nate didn’t want to loose his bitch not to mention the dude was well and truly an asshole.. only some form of a human to his girl best friend which just tru me off tbh
Also I feel like a lot of shit is unresolved. So did Kathy kill herself? Did the drug dealer plan that or it’s just a coincidence? Why mention Blaine( Xavi brother that died in an accident) when he quite literally fits nowhere in the story? Why mention him in sexual terms when he is DEAD??! That’s some shady shit
Sigh
Throughout reading this, I was just like “Xavi has no backbone whatsoever” and at first it was endearing coupled with the situation following the dead sister and their past I could even understand all that being fueled by guilt but after sometime? By the stars I was OVER IT.
Xavi let Nate USE the fuck out of him only to one day cry wolf and say “I love you okay, I’ve always loved you”
EXCUSE ME? It just really felt like Nate didn’t want to loose his bitch not to mention the dude was well and truly an asshole.. only some form of a human to his girl best friend which just tru me off tbh
Also I feel like a lot of shit is unresolved. So did Kathy kill herself? Did the drug dealer plan that or it’s just a coincidence? Why mention Blaine( Xavi brother that died in an accident) when he quite literally fits nowhere in the story? Why mention him in sexual terms when he is DEAD??! That’s some shady shit
Sigh
August 23, 2023
The first story I had read by this author was the beginning chapters of this book in the Anti-Valentine anthology. Not reading anything by her sooner was a huge mistake on my part because I absolutely loved the story and it made me want to read everything this author has written! I went on to read Dirty Love and loved it so much. Same with this one. Xavi and Nate’s full story was absolutely amazing!
This is an enemies to lovers, best friends brother, bully romance with some darker themes. The tension and hatred/attraction between Nate and Xavi is intense and they kept me on the edge of my seat the whole way through.
These boys go through a lot. This is not a lighthearted book. I felt for them both so much. However, their fight is worth it as their HEA is perfect and I think this might be the first time I didn’t cry when my heart was breaking for them but did cry when it was being stitched back together because it was beautiful!
Bethany Winters writes amazing hurting, protective, moody boys and the beautiful boys that they fall in love with. If you haven’t read anything by this author before I urge you to try this one as you’ll be hooked!
This is an enemies to lovers, best friends brother, bully romance with some darker themes. The tension and hatred/attraction between Nate and Xavi is intense and they kept me on the edge of my seat the whole way through.
These boys go through a lot. This is not a lighthearted book. I felt for them both so much. However, their fight is worth it as their HEA is perfect and I think this might be the first time I didn’t cry when my heart was breaking for them but did cry when it was being stitched back together because it was beautiful!
Bethany Winters writes amazing hurting, protective, moody boys and the beautiful boys that they fall in love with. If you haven’t read anything by this author before I urge you to try this one as you’ll be hooked!
August 30, 2023
“Jesus Christ. I love you, okay?” I damn near shout, pushing him down on his back and crawling on top of him. “I hate myself for it but I fucking love you.”
“That’s sweet.”
“I didn’t realize before you left last night but I…I’m not letting you go. I can’t do it. The thought of you walking away from me for good, finding some other guy and being with him instead of me…” My fingers curl as I picture it, and I cage his head in with my forearms. “I’ll never be able to stop chasing you, Xav. I won’t sit still or sleep or think about anything else until you’re mine again.”
By the time I’m done, he’s pressing his lips together to hide a huge grin. “You’re a little crazy, you know that?”
“You make me crazy,” I admit, dropping my lips to his while I tug on the button of his jeans.”
why??? why the hell did i finish this beautiful masterpiece called a book so fast?? why is it not possible to go back in time and start reading it for the first time?? ugh
i would be here for years if i were to write out all my emotions and feelings about both this book and of course, Nate and Xavi. their love was beyond chaotic, toxic at many points, but also heart filling and what feels like an addictive drug.
i was on my knees for this couple since i read the first couple chapters of this story in the valentine anthology and having read their full story now..just doesn’t feel real. at fucking all.
my heart ached for both Nate and Xavi from start to finish as i’m sure it will any other reader who picks this book up. i knew i was gonna love this book going into it and i can very proudly say that i’m coming out of it extremely satisfied and loving it beyond belief.
Nate and Xavi have experienced trauma and pain in many ways (especially my baby Xavi), and in my opinion, i find that just connected them more and more. as i mentioned earlier, i wish i could just go back and experience their love for the first time all over again because i’m gonna miss them SO much 🥹🥹🖤
also, that little sneak in Bethany did with Xander and Jordyn and seeing them have a KID/KIDS ???! 😭😭😭 my heart seriously can’t take it. seeing Xander tattoo both Nate and Xavi just did something to me that i can’t explain. i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE when other characters from other books that the author wrote are involved (even in a small way) in new books with different couples that the same author writes.
i couldn’t have asked for a better ending to this book than i got (other than seeing Nate and Xavi get married even though i know it is WAY too early for that to happen for them…a girl can only dream and imagine though 🥹)
my love for Nate and Xavi: out of this fucking world
my love for this story: out of this world again
my love for Bethany Winters and for writing this work of art: out. of. this. world.
Original review for this story from the Valentine Anthology:
“All the nights I watched him sleep, this is what I thought about. Pinning him down and taking what I want from him. Making him pay. Making him break. Fucking with his head and his heart and his body all at once. It’s what I crave most in the world. To see him fall apart, piece by piece until there’s nothing left of him.”
I love them. I love them. I love them. I just can’t stress it enough when I say I need the full version of their story now.
The angst, The emotions, The emotional plot and events, the steam, the degrading, the praise.. I can’t. I loved it all.
The text mentioned above may seem extremely concerning and crazy to people, but this story is exactly that.
I’m not kidding when I say I need MORE of Nate and Xavi’s story. The 15 chapters mentioned in the Anti-Valentine anthology is FAR from enough.
I need the full version of Nate and Xavi’s story more than I need oxygen, in fact more than life. I’ve seen many reviews about Bethany Winters and her books saying her writing is cringe or unbelievable, but in my view point, her writing is great and so far, I have loved all the books I’ve read by her - this one is no exception.
Praying for a VERY SOON and VERY FAST release of the full book🤞🏼🙏🏼
“That’s sweet.”
“I didn’t realize before you left last night but I…I’m not letting you go. I can’t do it. The thought of you walking away from me for good, finding some other guy and being with him instead of me…” My fingers curl as I picture it, and I cage his head in with my forearms. “I’ll never be able to stop chasing you, Xav. I won’t sit still or sleep or think about anything else until you’re mine again.”
By the time I’m done, he’s pressing his lips together to hide a huge grin. “You’re a little crazy, you know that?”
“You make me crazy,” I admit, dropping my lips to his while I tug on the button of his jeans.”
why??? why the hell did i finish this beautiful masterpiece called a book so fast?? why is it not possible to go back in time and start reading it for the first time?? ugh
i would be here for years if i were to write out all my emotions and feelings about both this book and of course, Nate and Xavi. their love was beyond chaotic, toxic at many points, but also heart filling and what feels like an addictive drug.
i was on my knees for this couple since i read the first couple chapters of this story in the valentine anthology and having read their full story now..just doesn’t feel real. at fucking all.
my heart ached for both Nate and Xavi from start to finish as i’m sure it will any other reader who picks this book up. i knew i was gonna love this book going into it and i can very proudly say that i’m coming out of it extremely satisfied and loving it beyond belief.
Nate and Xavi have experienced trauma and pain in many ways (especially my baby Xavi), and in my opinion, i find that just connected them more and more. as i mentioned earlier, i wish i could just go back and experience their love for the first time all over again because i’m gonna miss them SO much 🥹🥹🖤
also, that little sneak in Bethany did with Xander and Jordyn and seeing them have a KID/KIDS ???! 😭😭😭 my heart seriously can’t take it. seeing Xander tattoo both Nate and Xavi just did something to me that i can’t explain. i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE when other characters from other books that the author wrote are involved (even in a small way) in new books with different couples that the same author writes.
i couldn’t have asked for a better ending to this book than i got (other than seeing Nate and Xavi get married even though i know it is WAY too early for that to happen for them…a girl can only dream and imagine though 🥹)
my love for Nate and Xavi: out of this fucking world
my love for this story: out of this world again
my love for Bethany Winters and for writing this work of art: out. of. this. world.
Original review for this story from the Valentine Anthology:
“All the nights I watched him sleep, this is what I thought about. Pinning him down and taking what I want from him. Making him pay. Making him break. Fucking with his head and his heart and his body all at once. It’s what I crave most in the world. To see him fall apart, piece by piece until there’s nothing left of him.”
I love them. I love them. I love them. I just can’t stress it enough when I say I need the full version of their story now.
The angst, The emotions, The emotional plot and events, the steam, the degrading, the praise.. I can’t. I loved it all.
The text mentioned above may seem extremely concerning and crazy to people, but this story is exactly that.
I’m not kidding when I say I need MORE of Nate and Xavi’s story. The 15 chapters mentioned in the Anti-Valentine anthology is FAR from enough.
I need the full version of Nate and Xavi’s story more than I need oxygen, in fact more than life. I’ve seen many reviews about Bethany Winters and her books saying her writing is cringe or unbelievable, but in my view point, her writing is great and so far, I have loved all the books I’ve read by her - this one is no exception.
Praying for a VERY SOON and VERY FAST release of the full book🤞🏼🙏🏼
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