Celestial Glorbosis: of Peace and Poimals

by Jace Hammercock

Join our heroes mid-adventure as they try and do their part to save the Earth the only way they know how, using the power of sexual healing. Will the mysterious and sexy alien race of Globulians be able to help them in time... or is humanity's fate already sealed?

13 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 2, 2024

Reviews

[Tash Easther · Rating 5 out of 5]

After listening to the Clutch My Pearls podcast and being a huge fan of the boys from the Regulation Pod, I just knew I had to read it.

It gave me Regulation icks for sure.. it was the gift that just kept on giving.

[Demelza Salisbury · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listen. There are definitely words on a page. In certain orders. With nothing but the utmost disdain for punctuation and paragraph structure.

Are there weird aliens? Yep. Are there nonsensical events involving both regular and bizarre biological structures? Yup. Was I reading this with the loudest "what the actual f**k am I reading??" expression on my face? Oh yeah.

But god help me I want to read a full book of this.

[Beth Lekas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exactly what you expect

Did I read this for the literary genius of it all? No. I read it for a Medusa's head of dicks, as everyone should.

10/10, excited for the sequel

[Rebecca Miller · Rating 3 out of 5]

what did I just read

I don’t even know how to feel my husband wanted me to read this and tell him how it was. Very weird. No notes.

[Dayton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just a regulation story!

[SwoonAndScroll · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m crying

[Kristina · Rating 5 out of 5]

No notes

Read most of this out loud to my husband and barely made it through because I was laughing so hard. Cannot wait for the sequel.

Guess this makes me an official comment leaver now.

[Katie Stevens · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you want a fun read with a book that doesn’t take itself seriously this is a short and sweet book for you! Has a good hook at the end that makes you want to know what happens next!

I read this after listening to the Clutch My Pearls Podcast (found anywhere you listen to podcasts) and because I am a longtime fan of the authors (Geoff Ramsey and Gavin Free of the Regulation Podcast, found anywhere you listen to podcasts).

[JuiceReading · Rating 5 out of 5]

Go Geoff and Gavin, I guess. Lmfao
This book made me laugh a lot. My husband made me read it without telling me who wrote it and why it was the way it was.
Gotta love Clutch My Pearls and Fuckface. xD sorry, Regulation Pod

[KuddlinKyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Yes. Cock. Hungry for cock. Everyone is hungry for cock.”

[ash]

please just ignore this… podcasters my brothers listen to made this and they read it in the car lol

[One Confused Abs · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wild ride.

Appreciate the pomegranates reference, grossed out by Cornish pasties (I’m British), and delighted by alien-rat gremlin Baudourain.

I’d you’re a regulation listener to a regulation podcast, I recommend this regulation smut. Thanks Clutch My Pearls for this cross over we deserve.

[Jamie Means · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh how I love Geoff and Gavin. I would give this a 250000/5 stars.

[Kierra Perry · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a read -

The book was entertaining and funny! The names, the "accent", the synonyms, the descriptions..all hilarious! Enjoyable! Please don't make more, respectfully🤣

[Julia :) · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s fun! Absolutely what I needed. Love the social commentary ✊😩 5/5 regulation stars

[Samatha Goldsberry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I laughed a lot at this. It was a good time.
Was this something that will win awards? No. Will I ever forget it? Also no. Honestly, though I think it could be refined into something really good.

Spice 5/5 it's was pure smut 😂

[B 🦋 · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a cliff-banger Jace Hammercock! 🤯

[Jake Slaney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is like if H. P. Lovecraft was hornier. Cosmic pleasure, if you will. Left me feeling weak and cum-addicted.

[Kye · Rating 3 out of 5]

Regulation smut.
Needs more poimals.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

My fiance made me read this. 10/10 no notes just Swiss Army Knives (the German kind).

[Becky Weddle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have loved Geoff and Gavin for years and love the Clutch My Pearls podcast. A must read to support them, but also for the giggles.

[David Siekbert, · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first I was skeptical… I thought.. how can a book like this captivate me?? Move me? Be one with me? But I was totally wrong.. this book changed me, moved me, seduced me. It was a life changer, I used to go to my 9-5 job with no motivation, going through the motions just wanting to break the loop but nothing could make me do it… til I read this book. My life style has changed I’ve found a passion for life that I haven’t seen since April 1, 2003. Some may wonder… David… I’m confused what exactly is a Poimal… I can understand why’d they Ask but after reading this you can see why the author purposely forget to mention what a poimal was.. it’s because they want us to think deeper.. beyond words… beyond feelings and consciousness. Beyond peace… poimals are what’s inside of us.. what penetrates us. what moves us.. it’s not a physical thing no.. it’s an idea that each one of us had deep down. A unique and pinnacal part of us that only we can discover. And because of this I have found my poimal. And you… you can to. Just read this book and I swear you’ll find the poimal in you.

[Stephen Talley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Required reading for all students of global economics

Though the story seems sci-fi at surface level, a deeper examination reveals that Hammercock has returned to his roots as a former Professor of Economics. The primary characters are mere stand-ins for Germany, France, and the UK during the Global Financial Crisis, and their respective mental journeys exactly mirror those of these countries as the GFC squeezed the economies at the bottom of the EU. The alien ambassador's reveal at the end is a cutting reference to Brexit.

I'm going to make this required reading for my International Relations students!

[Clutch My Pearls Podcast · Rating 5 out of 5]

Geoff and Gavin (writing together under penname Jace Hammercock) brightened our world and disturbed our minds. "Here they were, about to be the heroes of generations to cum."

Episode 46 of Clutch My Pearls Podcast "Celestial Glorbosis" featuring exclusive interview with the authors is available now everywhere podcasts are found. Video on our youtube. Godspeed.

[Sarah Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Regulation Review

Everything I’ve come to expect out of the Regulation crew. I was cracking up listening to the Clutch My Pearls girls reading this and had to see all the details that got left out for myself. Would really love to edit this for punctuation, but absolutely a great time!

[Ruth Goldsmith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well I have never laughed so much reading a book - such descriptive language, can almost see what was happening, despite my best efforts. The Author interview on the Clutch My Pearls Podcast really implied the door being left open to a potential sequel which I will definitely read when/if it comes out.

[Ashley Townsley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who needs backstory and character development? In the modern age of tiktoks and instagram reels, this could be the future of books! Joining our heroes mid-adventure.

Honestly kinda like what most my early dnd campaigns started out as, yeah I’ll go on a quest with you, who are you again?

Anyway, looking forward to culmination of the cliffbanger!

[Janieva Mallory · Rating 5 out of 5]

Uhm

Uhm it's definitely a story, not sure what I just read. My husband recommended it and so I gave it a try. I dont know what I just read. A lot happened.....a little too much. I couldn't keep my mouth shut from everything that was going on. And that end? My god. I will no longer be taking any recommendations from my husband, but my god it was hilarious.

[Barbara Baudour · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easily my most memorable read of 2024.

The writing is impactful, and the story leaves you wanting more. Makes you think, makes you laugh, makes you feel (bad). Regulation 5 stars, really hope the authors continue the adventure. Would love to see more of the Baudourian.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

spiciest book of 2024

This book has everything. Neck vaginas, all kinds of dicks, random hands, and even a fanny! I can’t wait for the next installment to find out more about the Baudourian(s).
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️