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America's Not-So-Sweetheart

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After spending the year suffering as a reality TV villain IRL, Alec Braud will do anything to get his redemption arc.

Alec Braud may have won his season of the hit teen reality TV show Campfire Wars, but he’s lost the war of public opinion. At seventeen, he’s the most hated teen in America just because he betrayed his showmance, Joaquín Delgado. Alec only did it to use the cash prize to help his parents’ wildlife rehabilitation center. And Joaquín forgave him—so why can’t everybody else?

Joaquín was the golden boy of their season, and everyone still loves him—including Alec. So when he asks Alec to join him on a trip to re-create classic movie kisses for his art school portfolio, Alec agrees in the hopes it’ll mend his reputation. What could possibly go wrong on a week-long cross-country road trip with his ex and lots of fake kissing?

Lines get blurred between what part of the trip is for the camera and what isn’t. From there, things get even more complicated when trouble at his parents’ wildlife rehabilitation center tempts Alec to attend a CW convention for a chance to get his family more money. At the convention, Alec hears that villains from other seasons are plotting to get onto an upcoming allstars season to redeem themselves—and they want him to join.

With former players trying to recruit him, Joaquín hinting he might want to get back together with him, and show execs whispering in his ear, Alec will have to decide for himself who he really is and what he really wants.

371 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 17, 2025

4 people are currently reading
2442 people want to read

About the author

Blair Hanson

2 books9 followers
Blair Hanson is a contemporary young adult fiction writer from the East Coast. In his free time, Blair enjoys falling down Wikipedia wormholes and cuddling with the world’s most adorable (and neediest) cats. America’s Not-So-Sweetheart is his first book.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
Profile Image for Marieke (mariekes_mesmerizing_books).
725 reviews885 followers
May 26, 2025
Okay, this story feels like a real romcom, but if you’re expecting a swoony romance, I’m going to disappoint you: it isn’t. A.M. Woody, who blurbed this book, calls their own stories romtraums, and maybe America’s Not-So Sweetheart isn’t a romcom, isn’t a romtraum, but a traumcom. Traum because Alec was painted as the villain on that reality show, and now everyone hates him. Everyone except Joaquín, his ex, the guy he’s still madly in love with.

Messy, witty, and at times chest-tightening, those are the words that come to mind when I think about this book.

The banter is just chef’s kiss. Not just between Alec and Joaquín or the other characters, but also in Alec’s own head. It’s actually a fantastic place to be—Alec, who wants to do good but is also a total disaster of a person, disheveled and morally gray in all the best ways, driven by a constant need for approval, and endlessly overlooking the red flags around him.

I fell hard for Alec’s longing and yearning in the first part of the story. From page one, I wanted him and Joaquín back together so badly. And yet, a little voice in the back of my head kept whispering warnings. I shoved them into a box and locked the lid tight. Just like Alec did.

The second half of the book gave me even more to think about. Again, just like Alec.

At its core, this story is about embracing who you are with all your flaws and building healthy relationships. And even though it’s not really a romcom, we need more books like these because this is what teens’ lives actually look like. Complicated. Messy. Full of love and fun, but also full of shi*tty things because sometimes, things just are tough.

Actual rating 4.5 stars, rounded up to five.

Thank you so much, Pagestreet and NetGalley, for this messy and delightful ARC!

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Profile Image for Fernanda (ivyfer_isreading).
318 reviews87 followers
June 1, 2025
So this was definitely not for me.
I couldn't connect with the characters, I didn't care about a single one of them. As you can imagine that impacted my reading experience, when something impactful happened I just didn't care at all.
The idea of the book is good, but the execution isn't. We are constantly talking about the competition and the way the main character behaved so terribly, but as we don't actually see it happening I didn't feel it. This is my main problem, there's a lot of telling and not enough showing.
I could tell what the author was trying to do, there is a character arc but again it didn't hit as it should.
Maybe since I'm coming from a great book this one just couldn't compare.
I'd say give it a try if it sounds interesting to you, it's really quick and easy to read.

Thank you Netgalley and Page Street YA for the ARC.
Profile Image for Noi (in & out) .
954 reviews564 followers
dnf
June 25, 2025
I feel like I'm missing something :(
DNF 15%
----
Will this be a yay or a nay?
Profile Image for Amina .
1,371 reviews71 followers
August 12, 2025
✰ 2 stars ✰

“Here’s a hypothetical: If people start liking me … could Joaquín maybe like me again, too?”

giphyhd

Gosh, this was not an unsatisfying read, this was an unpleasant read. I honestly want to forget I ever read this. He was exhausted from pretending - I was exhausted from being constantly in his head - the way he kept wishing for something, but doing another, at the end I was just pooped and was like, whatever, I do.not.care. 🙅🏻‍♀️

Here, it was like Alec was looking for cause to direct his as in to justify the reasons behind the way he behaved and thought. as if why he wanted to be manipulative or in need of money or even desire Joaquin so fixated to the point of absurdity and almost a half-crazed obsession driven by a lustful madness that warranted no explanation save for the fact that they were the only two gay participants of a survival show targeted towards teenagers, which did not have a fair share policy of inclusive and diversity that pretty much then was his final act of justice or purpose when he realized how doomed he was from the start. 😮‍💨

The problem - well, there were many problems, but I never got a clear sense of what Campfire Wars was actually about. Is it mind games, word games? Duplicitous machinations? There was no direction to it. nothing felt explained well enough for me to care. maybe it's because we never got a BEFORE. 😒 We're literally thrown into the minefield where Alec is hellbent on winning back his heart and other hidden objectives, but he was always --- not complaining, but it was an unhealthy depiction of true emotions. I never felt their chemistry; I never even felt like they were friends! 😩

“You have, like, four meltdowns a day, and every time, I’m left wondering, ‘Is this real? Is he just playing me?’”

Maybe that was the intent - that a showmance can not equate to a real romance, because you don't really know them. There seemed to be even inaccuracies in their dating timeline even - the extreme way in which he clung to him - we never got to know the friendless Alec before he came on the small screen. who claims that his heart is in it for the good, but then - I just did not like him. 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️ That is a disheartening notion, but it's the truth. He was not behaving normally; and that was alarming, if not disturbing. Neither was sincere with the other, there were so many mixed signals - from even their fake idea of projecting their queer desires into the pre-existing Hollywood scenes. 😔

And his fixation on his own self-validation. 🤦🏻‍♀️ The way he blindsided himself into believing certain things. look, you can root for a villain; especially when you can even see the injustice being done towards them. but here it was all whiny and sob-face theatrics where he was so desperate to be liked that when he realized it was futile, he just changed perspectives, he was a mess of a person. 🤨 That once rejection was always in the cards, and that the love he sought may be more toxic than loving, he willingly swerved his motives towards another pressing agenda, one which mind you, is a good one.

But it seemed so drastic and uncalled for. For all the pining and yearning and fierce dedication of devotion to long for Joaquin that as the curtain fell he just disregarded everything . It's not even living up to America's Not-So-Sweetheart name, it's one where he really needs to seek some help first to understand why he was so confused and focused on one thing before and he wasn't even apologetic about it. ☹️

“Maybe we can reclaim some power in this world—not just the scraps the media and government are willing to give us, but true, actual power.”

It is a truthful look at how vile social media attention and unwarranted reaction from people you don't even know can affect your mind and cloud your judgment; it's not very welcoming; but, you have to have enough strength to draw the line between knowing in your heart what is true and relying on others' - strangers to make you feel good about yourself. 😢

There was such a lack of cohesion and direction; one minute he's fawning over all the things he imagines doing with Joaquin, then it's a quick jump to more serious topics that left me off-kilter and created a severe imbalance to the tone. I could not understand what is the point of this narrative/ what is the endgame. As much as he changed his stance on his feelings toward the object of his desire, nothing much else gave any closure or allowed it to end on a positive note.

How he flipped the tables at the end, it was disturbing, disgusting, and really unpleasant at how unresolved everything was. 🙎🏻‍♀️ You might say, well, yeah, he's the villain. But even a villain - one that feels that they've been wronged and you can even see that it's the case - warrants some modicum of compassion. Here, I really had zero sympathy for either of them. 🙅🏻‍♀️
Profile Image for Megan [At The Cottage].
1,055 reviews434 followers
Read
June 17, 2025
LGBTQ Coming of Age
Reality TV/Roadtrip YA

DNF @ 25%


I’m the problem, I think? I don’t know how or why I did this to myself but I have so many reality tv arcs when I only watch a couple shows in real life. This one could be interesting because it’s about villains and getting one’s image back after being hated by the viewers. However, this starts after the reality show Campfire Wars has ended already and it’s affecting my interest because I don’t have the backstory necessary to care about Joaquin or Alec. They had a showmance and one betrayed the other but we don’t see any of that and only have Alec’s POV telling us about it. Then because Campfire Wars is a made up show, I don’t know how anyone even gets betrayed so it makes the book feel one dimensional especially when it’s only in one POV. However, this isn’t marketed correctly either because the cover screams romance as did the blurb when in reality this is a coming of age type story. That said, there is fantastic pining and they seem to have good banter between them so maybe it will get to a place where the romance is worth it but there’s also miscommunication galore and it’s too messy and annoying right now for me to get into.

Thanks for the arc netgalley but I’m the problem here.
Profile Image for Frank Chillura (OhYouRead).
1,727 reviews80 followers
September 20, 2025
We all spend our night’s weekly binging the newest episode of our favorite reality tv shows, making theories, wondering who’ll end up with who, rooting for our faves and despising the villains. But it’s what happens afterwards that really matters for the contestants, players, and cast members. Can you learn who someone is from just watching them on a small screen? Do they deserve the recognition or to go down in infamy for decisions they made in a game?

America’s Not-So-Sweetheart finds Alec and his castmate ,and ex-boyfriend, Joaquín taking a summer roadtrip. While the point of the vacation isn’t to help his reputation after winning “Campfire Wars” and cementing his name in infamy as their season’s villain after he voted off his alliance member, he can’t help but hope. The only problem with all of this isn’t the immense amount of hate he gets online, it’s that he still has feelings for his ex.

I’m sure a lot of people going into this are hoping for some kind of romance… but this is almost the antithesis of that. This is the trauma after a romance ends and the constant yearning and hope that you’ll get back together. This is belief that every look the other person sends you means there are still feelings there. It’s a made up story in your mind that you want to be true, but it’s just not. And while you read it, you’re going to get those same feelings only to be crushed when it doesn’t work out like you want it to.

But that’s okay. Life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns and glitter. Sometimes you have to hurt to heal. That’s definitely how I’m feeling after finishing this. Sad, but hopeful for Alec to find himself and happiness. He deserves it!

Thank you to the publisher for an ARC copy of the book.
Profile Image for khaz..
630 reviews37 followers
July 16, 2025
I TOOK ME FOREVER but I finished it and yeah, I see what the book wanted to do and there some good ideas and the whole messy toxic relationship was actually not too bad, but I still had some trouble feeling anything other than annoyance for Alec. Liked the ending tho.
Profile Image for Bethany Hall.
1,073 reviews39 followers
June 29, 2025
Messy and chaotic in the best ways. I loved Alec. I also felt kinda bad for him. 😭 Joaquin was a mystery to me. The ending was brutally honest.
Profile Image for Mary Fitz.
110 reviews4 followers
June 13, 2025
Thank you so much to Blair Hanson and Page Street Publishing for the ARC of America's Not-So-Sweetheart!

This is a standout YA debut. Alec, a former reality show contestant still dealing with a villain edit and social media backlash, embarks on a road trip with his ex-showmance Joaquín... a relationship that quickly reveals itself to be more toxic than tender.

I was deeply moved by how genuine and emotionally complex this story is. Alec’s anxiety and identity struggles are raw and relatable, and Joaquín’s manipulative behavior is explored with nuance. The writing feels organic and immersive, pulling you deep into Alec’s head as he navigates fame, self-worth, and impossible expectations.

Some of the pacing was a bit uneven, and the characters occasionally felt older than their ages, but overall this book was gripping and thought-provoking. I loved how it blurred moral lines and didn’t shy away from emotional messiness. A must-read for fans of introspective, character-driven YA.

America's Not-So-Sweetheart comes out next Tuesday, June 17th.
Profile Image for Walouigi.
30 reviews
May 29, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and Page Street Publishing for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Past contestant on hit survivor show 'Campfire Wars', Alec is accustomed to being treated as an outcast. After betraying his showmance, Jaoquin, and voting him out to secure his win and earn money for his families struggling animal non-profit, the world was not on Alec's side. Planning to change this, however, is Jaoquin, Alecs boyfriend for many months after the show ended- though now ex- who proposes the idea to go on a road trip together taking photos to improve Alec' image. On their trip, their relationship suffers many ups and downs, and as two teens suddenly thrust into the spotlight, they need to decide together if their past in the show can be overcome for good.

Despite my low-ish rating of this book, there were many things I enjoyed about it's reading experience. The concept of the camp/tv show itself was very appealing- though I wish their was maybe a prologue or something that took place in the show itself, just to really demonstrate Alecs apparent 'villainous' character- and the premise of the book kept me coming back even when i was pulling my hair out in frustration. Alec was a dimensional character going through struggles that others could absolutely relate to, so he was easy to connect to and sympathize with. Possibly my favorite aspect of this book, however, was its blatant criticism of similar reality shows, and their failure to protect their cast, portray them accurately and also fairly represent marginalized groups in the game. This critique was prevalent throughout the book, and the conversations several of the characters had on this topic, as well as Alec's inner monologue about it, was very refreshing, and could very well serve as a 'starting point' for considering consequences of poor representation.

To be candid, however, I spent the majority of this book (from 20-95% read) fearing it was a 1.5 star read, only for it to double at the end. I started off very strongly enjoying both Alec and Joaquin's characters and their relationship, though it quickly took a turn and suddenly i couldn't understand them at all. They're messy, hypocritical, they lack fundamental trust, they fail each other when they need it most and lead each other on in a hopeless loop that has your heart churning. There came a point when I started highlighting the red flags, and I felt like they were never-ending All of this isn't an issue, however, if you look away from this as a traditional romance. Marketing it as such I feel is an injustice for this book, as well as both Alec and Joaquin, but it did lead to me feeling truly overjoyed at the ending, as I didn't anticipate this kind of ending at the start.

Beside their actual relationship (which again, isn't really a flaw if you are aware that this isn't really a romance), the largest issue I had was believing or understanding Alec's character at times. Although he was painted as the villain in his season, and kept calling himself 'evil', and reveling in being so by the end, I just couldn't really understand how he was apparently so. Other than the aforementioned betrayal of Joaquin in the game, his alleged unsavory actions in the show are never really specified so in the end it's a bit like... so what? He won the game that he fought to win like everyone else and got to help his family's business? Yeah, he's terrible (NOT). His actions got so bad that his PARENTS stopped publicly supporting him, yet I just can't imagine what kind of thing he was doing to get that kind of reception. Still, he was interesting otherwise, and I'm sure others could overlook this aspect of his character and enjoy the experience a lot more for it!

Overall it was an easy read, and it did have me invested (though it was because I spent a large part of the book shouting in frustration). It's ability to highlight injustices on reality TV especially, as well as introduce side characters that also struggled because of their misrepresentation, was invaluable and really had you rooting for them all, even if at times what you were rooting for wasn't quite clear.
Profile Image for Joyfully Jay.
9,143 reviews520 followers
June 18, 2025
A Joyfully Jay review.

4.5 stars


When Alec was sixteen, he was on a very popular television show — a Survivor/Big Brother-esque show called Campfire Wars with high-school aged students — and he won. His edit, however, was less than kind, leaving Alec the villain of the season, with death threats, constant online harassment and hatred, and his parents’ discomfort with how he portrayed himself. Not just as a villain, but a gay villain, who betrayed his showmance boyfriend, Joaquín.

All of the characters in this book, from the producer, Erin, to other Campfire Wars survivors felt real and purposeful. They had opinions, they had backstories, and they had personalities. The writing is strong, the pace is perfect, and I loved the whole thing from start to finish. Please give this book a try! It’s well worth the read if you’re a fan of character-centric stories and coming of age stories.

Read Elizabeth's review in its entirety here.
Profile Image for Mariivdk.
95 reviews1 follower
October 13, 2025
okay so ehhhhh, I think I wanted to like this a lot, and was extra disappointed when I didn't. I think there was a vision, but the way it was executed just didn't quite hit right. there was a loooot of telling, yet not enough showing. a big part of the story is how the protagonist is supposed to be morally grey, because of his actions on a reality show. you keep being reminded he did morally grey things. but what those were? you won't find out! so it was hard to take that seriously. the hatred he, as a contestant, got felt incredibly disproportionate because of that.

it was an interesting relationship dynamic between Alec and Joaquín through. they did NOT have a good healthy relationship, but I guess that's why it felt real. it was nice to see Alec realize that in the end, after gaslighting himself excessively. I also loved the social commentary on how reality tv is toxic as shit, and how minorities are treated more as a token minority character than like actual people.

but yeah, overall... disappointing read I guess.
Profile Image for Elias Cold.
Author 2 books14 followers
May 1, 2025
“Joaquín’s told me he doesn’t want to be my boyfriend anymore, but it’s kind of hard to tell based on the way he’s kissing me.”
If this fantastically twisty, messy first line appeals to you, the rest of the book will not disappoint (Blair, plz—spare some talent for the rest of us!).

I have never read anything quite like this. Our main character, Alec, loses his sense of self to a cruel media portrayal and goes on a journey of unravelling what the truth of him is, and what’s public perception. What are we supposed to do when representation goes awry? And is it so bad to be a villain after all, if we’re villainous for the right cause?

ANSS pays homage to the queer-coded villains I clung to in my teen years, at the same time providing a takedown of the social norms that have historically limited queer representation to villains. This book is a Black Mirror-esque examination of the ways in which 'inclusive' media continues to fail marginalised groups, packaged for a young adult audience.

An absolute inferno of a debut, so relevant to anyone who’s ever felt anxiety over how they’re perceived, on social media or otherwise.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Page Street for the early copy of this book!
Profile Image for Brandi McPherson.
138 reviews5 followers
July 1, 2025
Messy. Messy. Messy. Alec and Joaquin were both contestants on a Survivor-style reality competition show for teens. As token gays on the show, Joaquin was cast as the golden boy and Alec as the backstabbing villain. And Alec won the season by voting his boyfriend Joaquin off, cementing him as a snake to the fans. He's spent the last year trying to repair his image online.
Told from Alec's POV, we see his desperation. Desperate to win Joaquin back, to be "good," to save his family business, to be liked by Campfire Wars fans.
Now, Alec and Joaquin are on a road trip together, and their relationship is... messy. Are they friends? Boyfriends? Turns out the "golden boy" might be keeping secrets from Alec. And as Alec starts to come to terms with who he really is and who he wants to be, outside of others' perceptions, he also has to reckon with who Joaquin really is.

I received this ARC from publisher @pagestreetya through @netgalley. The opinions are my own.

America's Not-So-Sweetheart was just released on June 17, 2025, and is available at booksellers now.
Profile Image for Stephanie.
1,188 reviews11 followers
August 3, 2025
TW: mental abuse, emotional abuse, cyber bullying, bullying, racism, homophobia

*falls to hands and knees* Oh my GOD that was so hard to read. As someone who’s been abused and has PTSD from it, the interactions between Alec and Joaquin made me nauseous. The ending has a pay off and it’s satisfying. I loved Alec, I don’t know how to insert memes but if I did I’d put a “Get behind me” one facing a monster and hope it conveyed how I felt about Alec and Joaquin. Alec is a well written morally grey character that does not so great things for the sake of good, and also the ache of wanting approval and to be liked or at least not hated. I do recommend this book but if you have been in an abusive relationship of any kind, ESPECIALLY, mental and emotional abuse, enter this one lightly.
Profile Image for Kate Brasington.
357 reviews5 followers
June 24, 2025
This book took up so much space in my brain! I really loved reading it. I never knew who I could really trust and who was the real antagonist of this story and I’m still not entirely sure if I’m being honest. I loved the twists and turns this story took and the lies and deception between the two MMC’s. I think if you want to read a fiction novel with some toxic m/m romance representation that feels like a trash tv show (said with love im a how for trash tv) you need to read this book! I think that’s there might be another book after this one I’m not entirely sure but the cover says 1/4 which leads me to believe there might be another, I really hope there is lol!
Profile Image for ALEYA.
41 reviews
July 30, 2025
I enjoyed this. It gives bachelor vibes without all of the over the top drama. Also I would love to go on a roadtrip like that as long as it didn’t end the same way😂
Profile Image for Bee.
207 reviews27 followers
June 9, 2025
America’s Not So Sweetheart focuses on Alec Braud who is recovering from the aftermath of appearing and winning a reality TV show that is Survivor for teens. He won, but there was a cost and that was him being hated by thousands of viewers for being evil or one of the villains. Anyone who has watched the plethora of that kind of show knows that there’s always a villain or two and some handle it and some don’t. Alec had good intentions though, and wanted the money to help his parents with their non-profit animal shelter so we all know he has some redeeming factors even if the masses in the book don’t or don’t care. Because, Alec hurt the good guy and now he’s on a redemption arc to restore his good name and perhaps something more along the way, like getting back the boy he double-crossed in ‘Camp Wars’.

I would have liked to see glimpses of why he became the villain and some flashbacks perhaps to give us more of an insight as to how he took the path he did. Because quite frankly, I can understand and sympathise with a teenager who wants to help his parents out of debt and the animals he cares about; especially if it's like any of the shows that air where you know some of it is scripted and twisted for views. I liked how the author wrote the teenage characters, not just Alec but Joaquín who’s his ex and other teens who have been on various seasons of the show, they all feel very real and they all voice issues about the sudden fame they’ve received etc but also their day to day issues may resonate with readers.

What does stand out about America’s Not So Sweetheart isn’t even the story that focuses on Alex but how the author shines a light on reality TV and how many failings there are with representation, support for cast both during and after the season airs. As one character points out, they bring in nobodies who have no concept of public relations etc, and then cast them aside when their job is done. Everything is about the numbers, the views and the money the companies can get and people are fodder to them. It’s carried on throughout the book in such a fluid manner, from conversations between the teens over how they were treated, to having to say things in a stereotypical manner for their race or sexual identity, as well as Alec’s internal monologue of his own experience or to what he saw. It also demonstrated why I would become frustrated as to why Alec was portrayed as the villain, it’s primarily down to those who make these kinds of shows and not in this case, a teenager.

I will be honest and say this wasn’t a favourite of my recent reads, I was often frustrated by things, and not just as I’ve said repeatedly Alec’s forced persona but also I found myself hating Joaquín and his hot and cold treatment of Alec which often felt like a punishment for what has happened on air. He’d promise something only to snatch it away just as quickly.. The reader will no doubt see the red flags between the two boys and I dearly wish they would both realise what they’re doing to one another; there’s a vast difference between a messy relationship and what we see with these two teens. This is not a romance novel though, and I guarantee they wouldn't have even kissed if they hadn’t been brought together in the show where they’re isolated from the world.

All in all, I was invested in the story but there is so much that is missing from the events of the book that has me left wondering just how bad Alec was that he became so vilified that he needs a redemption arc to begin with. Because lying to a showmance partner as Alec calls his relationship with Joaquín which leads to him being the winner is mean yes, but also the point of these shows is last person standing - you sometimes hurt people you don’t want to get to the end.


Profile Image for fanboyriot.
1,073 reviews16 followers
May 25, 2025

3.5 ⭐



It took me a lot time to get into this, I didn’t understand the history the characters had or why everyone hated Alec so much. And to be honest the Alec hate still doesn’t make that much sense to me. He was just someone who was painted as the villain on that reality show.



There is lots of pinning over an ex in this and the character development with that part of the plot is really good! Plus the banter is really nice.



The relationship for this book was pretty complicated and messy but at the same time there was love there, sometimes one sided other times mutual. In the end it was an entertaining read with lots of emotion behind it. This felt like a more realistic romcom, the characters weren’t perfect, nor the relationship, there was actual depth and issues that made this have the realistic feeling to it.



(Note: I received this copy from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to the publisher for the opportunity.)



Read For
✓ Road Trip
✓ Social Media
✓ Reality Show
✓ Messy Relationship
✓ Morally Gray Characters



⚠️ Content Warnings
Moderate: Bullying, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship
Minor: Religious bigotry



𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊



Spice Level: n/a
Sad Level: 💧💧



Plot: 6/10
Pace: 7/10
Ending: 8/10
Characters: 7/10
Enjoyability: 7/10
Writing Style: 7/10
Would I Recommend? Yes
Favorite Character: Alec



Favorite Quote: ❝ Months and months of changing myself in dozens of ways, of trying so hard to be likable and worthy, and these people still hate me. They've had me feeling like I'm evil, caught up in my emotions, like | deserve this, but really, what's my crime here? ❞



POV: First Person
Pages: 368
Format: ebook
Language: English
Release Date: 17, June 2025
Rep/Extras: Mexican-American (main character), LGBTQIA+ Characters

Profile Image for Marsha.
Author 2 books39 followers
August 10, 2025
This is one of the most complicated YA novels I’ve read in quite a while. The main protagonist Alec Braud is a trembling, scared mess. His mind is a thorny minefield of contradictions. He wants to be a good person, he wants others to see him as a decent human being. But he’s willing to betray his celebrity tv teammates on a reality show, including his crush Joaquín Delgado. He projects an air of shyness, meekness and invisibility—in order to ferret out other people’s secrets and expose them.

Then he’s tired of it. But his emotional fatigue comes from the constant barrage of hate he gets on his Twitter feed. People have pegged him as a tv show villain, someone’s targeted his parents’s animal shelter and the online abuse shows no signs of tapering off even years after his stint on the show ended. In spite of his seemingly steely outer shell on the show, he’s prone to panic attacks and hyperventilating.

Alec takes an actual and metaphysical journey as he and Joaquín travel across the United States. Alec’s desperate desire to please spills over on Joaquín. But, deep down, he’s experiencing unnerving sensations that all is not right. Does Joaquín want him as a friend or friend with benefits? Joaquín claims he’s not ready for a serious relationship but he’s still willing to hug, kiss and cuddle with Alec. Alec tries to convince himself that this is what he wants to…anything to please Joaquín.

Of course, the reader realizes that Alec’s relationship with Joaquín isn’t exactly healthy. However, pinning down why Joaquín isn’t good for Alec takes time for us to understand and it takes Alec even longer. Joaquín can be sweet, tender, artistic, funny and clever. He doesn’t fly into rages, sink into sulks or go in for gaslighting his partner. So what exactly is wrong with the way he interacts with Alec?

If you like inner musings, main characters still searching for themselves and all of it mixed up with the backstage shenanigans of a reality tv show, this book is a decidedly novel approach to the YA genre.
102 reviews
December 7, 2025
This story was very fascinating, probably mainly because my impression of the MC changed a few times thoughout the book. But that wasn't because they were acting in any different or suprising way (because in hinsight they really weren't), but I as a reader didn't want to see the charachters differently - because Alec as our protagonist didn't want to see them differently.
We get to know Alec in a time when he still very much struggles with how people perceive him online and when he is still yearning his ex-relationship with Joaquin. But then we get to know his "manipulative" (or rather strategic) side, that every other character in this book is already familiar with. So it's no new character trait for them. But then we learn how similar Alec and Joaquin actually are - something that Alec knew but maybe didn't want to believe in?
The ending of this book was as unusual as the setting for the beginning of the book, what makes this book so precious to me.
I really hope that this book reaches many teens out there, especially those who struggle with 'fitting in' and finding their true self in this world. And I hope that those teens can learn to just do what feels right, and that it's okay to not be perfect for everybody around oneself and that you should never bend and be someone you're not!
Profile Image for Leah.
1,290 reviews55 followers
June 23, 2025
First of all, a moment for that cover, okay?? Stunning.

Alec and Joaquin were both contestants on a teen Survivor-esque reality show called Campfire Wars. Their showmance was a highlight of the season until an 11th hour move caused Joaquin to be voted out and left Alec the winner. Despite wanting the prize money for his parents' wildlife rehabilitation facility, Alec was branded a villain across social media. Now he's looking for rehab of his own: he's hoping to change his image and agrees to go on a cross-country roadtrip with Joaquin.

The more I read, the more I felt like I was missing huge chunks of the story. There's absolutely NO backstory whatsoever, we're simply told Alec was this ultimate villain deserving of brutal hate (even resulting in vandalization of the wildlife center). I didn't get that at all. The 'romance' between these two was also frustrating. Alec is still pining after his ex, Joaquin states multiple times he doesn't want to get back together, but is still more than happy to make-out, sleep together, be touchy-feely.

I was lured in my a fantastic cover, I wish the story lived up to it.
Profile Image for Kaisbooknook.
137 reviews5 followers
July 3, 2025
I went into this thinking I was going to read a romance, and instead read a YA novel about toxic relationships somehow?

The plot of this book was confusing. It seemed like a romance with unlikeable characters up until the very end. It dealt with trauma and unstable emotions in a very real way, but even the characters that were meant to be likeable, came off very flat and boring to me. The plot felt unengaging, and I felt half the book was completely unnecessary

I think the marketing of this book was its downfall. If it was marketed as a book about toxic relationships, obsession, and teenage angst, I think it would have been better, and I would have felt much less confused.

Overall, I wouldn't recommend this book very much, at least not to an audience wanting to read romance. I would only recommend it to readers who want to read emotional literary fictions about messy characters and even messier relationships. To me, it wasn't really worth reading, and I don't think you would be missing anything if you chose not to read it.

A huge thank you Page Street Publishing and Netgalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
36 reviews
Read
October 8, 2025
DNF first chapter.

I'm going to be kind and not rate this because I DNF'd so quickly, but I see the ratings are super low anyway (3.23 right now.)

The chapter opens with two boys making out (that's totally fine, I knew what book I was reading) but then the narrator starts talking and I felt like something was wrong with my audiobook, like it cued up to play from the middle of the book by accident. (It didn't. This is the actual first chapter.) And then the two characters start BANTERING this loooong drawn out "what-if" game and it was just so tedious. Like I can tell the author thinks this is adorable, but I don't know these people and I don't care about any of this. Honestly, their conversation made me dislike both of them.

I went back to re-read the blurb that caused me to grab this book in the first place, and... Yeah. I wish this book had been about Alec and Joaquin during the reality show, not after everything has already ended. This feels like I've been dropped into the middle of a sequel and honestly, I don't like either of these characters, so I'm out. Life is too short.
Profile Image for Dea Farrell.
863 reviews12 followers
June 20, 2025
3.5⭐️ rounded down

Alec and Joaquín met on the set of Campfire Wars, a teen reality show. There, they started a showmance, but in a brutal move, Alec voted Joaquín off to win the show. Now, Alec is one of the most hated villains in the shows history, while Joaquín is one of the most adored. Despite this, Joaquín forgave Alec, and they went on to be friends. Alec wants nothing more than redemption arc and to win back Joaquín's heart. We see two very different sides of Alec in this book. The one who cares about his parents' nonprofit wildlife sanctuary and the cutthroat, competitive one. He's messy, complicated, wants to do good, and still very much in love with Joaquín. For much of the novel, we're not quite clear about what Joaquín's wants or his motives, but we have some suspicions. Honestly, this entire book was just full of red flags, and I was just waiting for when the bomb would drop. While this wasn't my favorite read, I was invested enough to keep going until the end.
Profile Image for Drashya.
25 reviews
October 12, 2025
Disclaimer: If you’re going in expecting a cheesy po*ny sugary grease this isn’t the book for you.

I generally don’t real young adult romances, but picked this one up before getting on a long flight. I’m so glad to have done that, the way the plot evolves with our lovers is beautiful primarily because of how profound an understanding it shows of raw young minds.

I honestly didn’t expect a teen gay romance to show such psychological maturity when dealing with its characters and their intense experiences in loving someone for the first time and the fallacies of it all. The book, especially the last few pages will stay with me for a long time. Those feelings were a mirror reflection of my experiences in the past and I can bet that the author’s at least partially drawing from his personal experiences too.

Thanks for a beautiful journey, Blair. Can’t wait for your next one!
Profile Image for Christopher.
121 reviews4 followers
December 11, 2025
It was ok. It didn't feel like an authentic gay story. Like every time the author brought up the parents, it was a very stereotypical "what you think a gay kid's parents might do" and let's throw in the bible, vs what gay kids actually go through. The whole "I want to be good" thing didn't read as something a 17-year-old out gay kid would torture himself over. If the author had focused on the adventure and the relationships vs this inner turmoil it would have been something closer to what gay boys go through at that age, something I just don't think this author would understand.
Profile Image for Jonny Andrew.
122 reviews3 followers
July 14, 2025
I really wanted to enjoy this book, but unfortunately, I struggled to get into both the story and the characters. While the premise had potential, I found it difficult to connect with the main characters or invest in their relationship. The pacing felt uneven, and I never quite found the hook that pulled me in. As a result, it ended up being a tough read for me, and I found myself more disengaged than entertained.
Profile Image for kelly ♥.
376 reviews83 followers
June 16, 2025
this one really just wasn’t for me. i didn’t enjoy either of the main characters & couldn’t work out what story this was trying to tell or message it was trying to send. i think there could have been something really interesting in here about reality tv and how social media is used to villainize and bully, particularly marginalized communities, but it just meandered away from making the point.
113 reviews3 followers
April 13, 2025
This was a really great story that hits the spot after reading a lot of romance stories. Alec desperately feels the need to separate himself from who he was on Campfire Wars, a teenage reality tv. He also really wants to get back together with one of his former costars, Joaquín. What starts out as an end of summer road trip for the two boys quickly morphs into a story of self realization and acceptance.

This is a beautifully written novel, with twists and turns you might not expect to be coming. Alec is so desperate to redeem himself and help out the animal rescue his parents run. All the while, Joaquín has an agenda of his own to fulfill. While the ending of the story isn’t what I was expecting when I started the journey of reading this book, it was exactly the right ending for the story.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher/author for this copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
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