If Not the Whole Truth

by Claire S. Arbogast

Gritty Courage and Love in the Endless Struggle for Power

A young woman struggles to ferret out her place in the counterculture of the late 1960s era only to find in 2022 America that everything she holds dear, even her own life, is in jeopardy.
“Historically rich, with …. searing contemporary relevance.”—Kirkus Reviews “OUR GET IT."
Connie Borders sees the changes coming down in 1969 and refuses to let them pass her by. Rejecting her parents’ outdated lifestyle and the narrow, whitebread path prescribed for her, Connie leaves Indianapolis for California to stop the Vietnam War and reshape the country into the Woodstock Nation. Her course veers when Carlos, an older university student who is a first-generation, Black Puerto Rican American, persuades her that radical Chicago is where it’s at.
During a whirlwind of protests and an acid-laced rock concert, electricity runs between Connie and Carlos. But when she witnesses a shooting in the wake of Black Panther Fred Hampton’s murder, she is forced to leave Chicago. From the Midwest to Berkeley and back, Connie goes on a freewheeling search for her place in the fractured movement. Naïve and flawed but pure-hearted, she navigates the complexities of friendship and family, of unwanted pregnancy and illegal abortion, and of cultural and political divides, while untangling her desire for Carlos and his hardcore passion for Puerto Rican independence. Connie learns she must trust her instincts to seek out the whole story—which may not be the whole truth.
Fifty years later, when Connie is a pro-choice activist in Chicago, her questioned convictions put her in chilling danger.
For fans of The Women by Kristin Hannah, Like A Complete Unknown by Anara Guard, A Spark of Light by Jodi Picoult, An American Tune by Barbara Shoup, Coyote Weather by Amanda Cockrell, All You Have to Do Is Call by Kerri Maher. or Kingdom of No Tomorrow by Fabienne Josaphat.

361 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 10, 2024

About the author

The daughter of florists and granddaughter of a prolific gardener, award-winning author Claire Arbogast grew up among the winding streets and deep front porches of historic Irvington on the eastside of Indianapolis. But her life took a wide turn as books and the times challenged her limited perspective of the world. This questioning wove its way into her very fiber, leading her to try on different ways to live, different ways to love, and different ways to write with the hope of opening up attitudes with stories that start conversations.

After a few years of exploring (southern Indiana, Chicago, California, The Farm in Tennessee, Albuquerque, touring the country in a handmade camper, and a couple winters in Alaska), she earned a degree in journalism from Indiana University-Bloomington and went on to work in communications, living in Fort Wayne, Bloomington, and Cincinnati. She is the recipient of a 2009-10 Greer Artist Fellowship grant and a 2008 Ropewalk Writers Retreat Masters Creative Non-fiction Workshop Scholarship.

These days, she gardens and writes in Bloomington, Indiana, relishing every sweet day with a thirst for sorting, rejecting, and adapting to the infinite stream of ideas that flow into our lives.

Her memoir, "Leave the Dogs at Home," was published by Indiana University Press in 2015. It is the 2016 AAUP Public and Secondary School Library Selection. "If Not the Whole Truth," a novel, is slated for release in September 2024.

Reviews

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! Funny, intense and interesting, had a hard time putting it down.

[Bob Rugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

A compelling and immensely readable story that also serves as a historical document of the late 1960s and early 1970s counterculture and anti-establishment movements. A naive but astute 20 year old Connie Borders leaves her bigoted father and conservative Indianapolis home in hopes of becoming part of the peace-loving Woodstock Generation and stopping the war in Vietnam. Her haphazard and quixotic journey takes her first to Chicago where she falls for Carlos, a Black Puerto Rican deeply invested in Puerto Rican independence, and then becomes acquainted with the SDS/Revolutionary Youth Movement/Weathermen, the Black Panther Party, the Rainbow Coalition, the Young Lords Party, and the Jane Collective. From there she finds her way to a back-to-the-land commune in Southern Indiana’s Brown County, and then an Indianapolis collective that assists draft dodgers before making her way to San Francisco and a hip worker-run cooperative restaurant.

There are several threads in this story that are so subtly and deftly introduced that it may take some time to become aware of their themes Violence and paranoia are both menacing elements that lurk within the entire book right up to the end. Connie, and the anti-war movement in general, are conflicted as to what means are justified to achieving the goals of social equality, civil rights, and ending the war. How does societal change best happen? Through non-violent protest and gradual change from within, as Connie’s friend Becky had done by getting a job with NOW after her graduation, or militant action against the establishment as The Weathermen proposed? At each point of her journey Connie finds that those organizations so devoted to societal change have the same structural flaws as the institutions they hope to destroy. The sexism and strict gender roles within the anti-war movement and cooperatives, are slowly exposed along with Connie’s increasing disillusion and disappointment. Communal living is unveiled as no more than another male-dominated patriarchal system. ‘Free love’ a euphemism for ‘no choice sex.’

At the heart of the story is the century long struggle for women’s equal rights and reproductive freedom. Margaret Sanger eventually becomes Connie’s role model and spiritual guide along with, in a refreshing turn, her newly independent and feminist mother, and high school friend Becky. With their help, Connie eventually gets on the path as a student of history and an advocate for reproductive freedom.

The several pages of footnotes detailing every significant event and location within those years are in itself an invaluable resource and is evidence of the years of research that went into the writing of this book. The events of those years were significant then, but just as relevant now given the reversal of Roe v. Wade and state abortion bans, and the reaction to campus protests over the war in Gaza by university administrations and the police. This becomes apparent in the brilliant final and contemporary chapter where the militant actions from the 60s of the radical left have now been take over by the radical right and all the themes of the book come to a chilling and suspenseful conclusion.

[Connie Wright · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well researched and written, this was especially interesting given that I went to the same high school as the character and author. I recognized the Irvington references as well as the Bloomington/IU locations. I enjoy historical novels and this one reflected what was happening during my own young adulthood. Civil rights, war protests, women’s rights, the counter culture. Well done Claire!

[Chris Loraine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book covered many historical events that happened during my lifetime. Many occurred while I was a child. Still, others happened while I was aware of them but not the background.
I give it four stars because it doesn't sugarcoat the countercultral movement as being perfect and wildly successful. I liked how it showed the exploiting nature of many of the communes. It was interesting to see that the writer portrayed organizations espousing equality between the sexes just being different versions of male dominated society. The ending where while recovering, she sees that people will strongly hold beliefs regardless of the point of view leaves no room compromise and justifies all actions in pursuit of those goals. Hence, where we are today, and unless we all back off, we are headed to more disharmony.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found it fascinating to live in the world of 1969 from the point of view of a young woman who dreams of love & peace of the Woodstock Nation, only to experience a violent counterculture rife with sexism and sexual abuse. Given its explorations of abortion, this book couldn't be more timely.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Connie Borders--a no-nonsense scrappy protagonist making her way through the counter culture of the 60s. Her adventures lead us through protests, music fests, dropping acid, getting high, living in communes, gang violence, free stores, drug running, abortions in the pre-roe-v-wade era, inter-racial relationships, back to the land, birth control pills for sale street side and Jimi Hendrix. I was born a little late for all the excitement, but feel like the truth, the lies and the hypocrisy of the era were laid bare. This book is everything 60's you want it to be and more. The bonus present day chapter was a nice twist on the end. Well done.

[Danny Schlegel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I couldn't find a hook for the book. Felt more like a memoir. Fun read though.

[Hiromi Yoshida · Rating 5 out of 5]

Instead of being boringly episodic, or voyeuristically titillating, this novel offers a fascinating panorama of American life through the maturing perception of protagonist Connie Borders. Starting off as a feminist bildungsroman, the novel presents Connie as a rebellious young woman searching for her place in the mosaic of American life. And indeed, she becomes just that by the end: Connie the individual subject becomes a mosaic piece within the greater intricately historicized sociocultural and sociopolitical contexts of the United States of America. As she says, "It's not about me" (p. 343), suggesting that it's about all of us--and possibly, something more. Through that utterance, Connie Borders is elevated to the status of iconic symbol, representing all the women who continue to believe, to fight on, even after the overturning of Roe v. Wade. She has lived out the destiny of her last name by transgressing and transcending all borders.

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous 'inside' look at the protest movement history of the 60's and 70's.