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Please Yell at My Kids: What Cultures Around the World Can Teach You About Parenting in Community, Raising Independent Kids, and Not Losing Your Mind
Not yet published
Expected 20 Apr 27Acclaimed journalist Marina Lopes travels the world to learn how diverse cultures embrace communal parenting, bringing home practical strategies for American parents on how to stop doing it all, reimagine their communities, and build their own village.
Parenting in America is notoriously challenging: no federally supported parental leave, a lack of mental health support, a crushing combination of workplace pressure and aspirational parental perfection, and the fresh hell that is the playgroup Facebook page. But what if there was a better way?
The simple fact is that parenting looks wildly different across nations. In Please Yell at My Kids, journalist Marina Lopes travels the globe, learning from parents in Singapore, Brazil, Mozambique, Malaysia, Sweden, China, and more to provide practical, actionable ways to reimagine parenting in America. At the heart of many global approaches to parenting lies one simple and not-so-simple element: community. In America, parenting is, at best, a dual mission. But globally, parenthood is more often a team sport played in the center of a community that helps, supports, and occasionally drives you up the wall. What can we learn from Brazilian birth parties, Singaporean grandparents, and Danish babies sleeping soundly outside of coffee shops? And how can that be integrated into the lives of American readers, even if we can’t hop on a plane and wing our way to the land of paid parental leave?
From guiding readers on how to define their own non-negotiable values to navigating tricky conversations with their in-laws, Please Yell at My Kids empowers parents to create a supportive community of care, rediscover the joy in parenting, and raise resilient, independent children—without having to go it alone.
Parenting in America is notoriously challenging: no federally supported parental leave, a lack of mental health support, a crushing combination of workplace pressure and aspirational parental perfection, and the fresh hell that is the playgroup Facebook page. But what if there was a better way?
The simple fact is that parenting looks wildly different across nations. In Please Yell at My Kids, journalist Marina Lopes travels the globe, learning from parents in Singapore, Brazil, Mozambique, Malaysia, Sweden, China, and more to provide practical, actionable ways to reimagine parenting in America. At the heart of many global approaches to parenting lies one simple and not-so-simple element: community. In America, parenting is, at best, a dual mission. But globally, parenthood is more often a team sport played in the center of a community that helps, supports, and occasionally drives you up the wall. What can we learn from Brazilian birth parties, Singaporean grandparents, and Danish babies sleeping soundly outside of coffee shops? And how can that be integrated into the lives of American readers, even if we can’t hop on a plane and wing our way to the land of paid parental leave?
From guiding readers on how to define their own non-negotiable values to navigating tricky conversations with their in-laws, Please Yell at My Kids empowers parents to create a supportive community of care, rediscover the joy in parenting, and raise resilient, independent children—without having to go it alone.
288 pages, Hardcover
Expected publication April 20, 2027
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
February 14, 2025
I really liked the idea of this book. A global perspective on parenting traditions and norms to both expand your worldview of what parenting looks like, and highlight how some foreign practices could be leveraged to bolster your own practices.
However, I found the execution to be less than what I was hoping for. It is quite heavy on the personal narrative and experiences with some tenuous connections between those and the featured parenting norm, where I get the cultural aspect was far more interesting than the personal. But like I said, it may have been due to my mismatched expectations for what this was.
The chapter about communal parenting with their friends in Singapore seemed relatively unrelated to the cultural discussion. It was largely focused on their two families and very little to do with something specific to Singapore parenting. Felt out of place and like she REALLY wanted to talk about the benefits of their living arrangements.
Overall, this was fine. But that is just my opinion and your mileage will vary. Thanks to NetGalley, Marina Lopes, Hachette Books for the opportunity to read and review an ARC.
However, I found the execution to be less than what I was hoping for. It is quite heavy on the personal narrative and experiences with some tenuous connections between those and the featured parenting norm, where I get the cultural aspect was far more interesting than the personal. But like I said, it may have been due to my mismatched expectations for what this was.
The chapter about communal parenting with their friends in Singapore seemed relatively unrelated to the cultural discussion. It was largely focused on their two families and very little to do with something specific to Singapore parenting. Felt out of place and like she REALLY wanted to talk about the benefits of their living arrangements.
Overall, this was fine. But that is just my opinion and your mileage will vary. Thanks to NetGalley, Marina Lopes, Hachette Books for the opportunity to read and review an ARC.
August 4, 2025
I really enjoyed this one! Lopes, a journalist, travelled to 10 different countries during her time writing this and the novel covers those different countries and their cultural norms surrounding parenting. I really loved this books focus on the communal living and parenting in other countries. Parenting in the USA is often isolating and lonely and I loved learning about different countries norms and how they view community. Community is so valuable and needed. This really made me reevaluate some of the ways I want to parent and my relationships with others around me. I wish there was more research and a little less personal stories, but still a very very good read.
November 24, 2025
I believe this book is beneficial for anyone interested in raising independent, confident young people. Also, America is messed up, man. But we knew that already.
October 18, 2024
Thank you @netgalley for allowing me to read this ARC!
Publishing April 2025 #pleaseyellatmykids
Author Marina Lopes
Wow. As not only a parent but as a full time working parent who is still breastfeeding her youngest this book spoke to me in ways and about topics that I didn't even know I needed to hear. But how the author is able to put on to paper the feelings of so many parents in so many different countries is just beautiful. I didn't even know what I was missing or what I needed but I knew it was something. So many times during this read did I turn to my partner to be like.... listen to what Brazil does. Or can you believe this Chinese tradition?! But even after that looking into the government programs and how different cultures set up parents for success made me so mad to be where I am today.
In the United States we are lacking in comprehensive care and support for our birthing parents and have little to no support net for after birth. Marina Lopes is able to show us, United State, readers what life could be if the government, organizations, and citizens actually cared and took them to have comprehensive policy changes to support a person and a family after the birth of a child.
Learning about different countries customs and traditions throughout the chapters was super informative. But even more was learning about the way that they policies got put into place and the outcomes. It seems that if anything the American readers can take away how things are lacking and if it were different how our own citizens could benefit.
Marina Lopes also sums up each of the chapters perfectly with a list of take away points. Just a quick and dirty run down of what to do and how to do it with no pressure to the reader and the assurance that how they parent is ok.
I have already mentioned this book to several mom groups I'm part of and just to parents in general. I enjoyed reading it for sure!
Publishing April 2025 #pleaseyellatmykids
Author Marina Lopes
Wow. As not only a parent but as a full time working parent who is still breastfeeding her youngest this book spoke to me in ways and about topics that I didn't even know I needed to hear. But how the author is able to put on to paper the feelings of so many parents in so many different countries is just beautiful. I didn't even know what I was missing or what I needed but I knew it was something. So many times during this read did I turn to my partner to be like.... listen to what Brazil does. Or can you believe this Chinese tradition?! But even after that looking into the government programs and how different cultures set up parents for success made me so mad to be where I am today.
In the United States we are lacking in comprehensive care and support for our birthing parents and have little to no support net for after birth. Marina Lopes is able to show us, United State, readers what life could be if the government, organizations, and citizens actually cared and took them to have comprehensive policy changes to support a person and a family after the birth of a child.
Learning about different countries customs and traditions throughout the chapters was super informative. But even more was learning about the way that they policies got put into place and the outcomes. It seems that if anything the American readers can take away how things are lacking and if it were different how our own citizens could benefit.
Marina Lopes also sums up each of the chapters perfectly with a list of take away points. Just a quick and dirty run down of what to do and how to do it with no pressure to the reader and the assurance that how they parent is ok.
I have already mentioned this book to several mom groups I'm part of and just to parents in general. I enjoyed reading it for sure!
July 1, 2025
I think this book was a repeat of concepts I’ve read about many times now: French crèche, Finnish box, Danes sleeping outside, Chinese confinement, Swedish paternal leave. I did learn about the Brazilian birth parties and the idea of communal living with friends and neighbors. I think it can be summarized with “we were not made to parent alone” and “parenting is much more joyful, rewarding, and fun when we do it together.”
August 26, 2025
Picked up this book cos the title resonated with my belief in parenting with the community. While I appreciate the author’s attempt to explore diverse parenting cultures, the execution fell short. I powered through for the occasional interesting insights (Brazilian C-section birth parties!), but overall, the author tries to do too many things at once. The book awkwardly blends personal anecdotes, a critique of American parenting, thin studies of other cultures, and a guide on applications in the American context. Thank goodness this was a quick one.
August 1, 2025
As a mom of two toddlers, this book instantly caught my attention. I loved the idea of finding friends who share your parenting values — and leaning on each other to raise your kids together. Reading about how so many other cultures support mothers and raise children as a community was fascinating.
If there’s one thing I took away from this book, it’s that there’s no single “right” way to parent — but having a village makes all the difference.
Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette books for the eARC.
If there’s one thing I took away from this book, it’s that there’s no single “right” way to parent — but having a village makes all the difference.
Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette books for the eARC.
August 30, 2025
Not a tonne of new info.
November 16, 2025
I loved the global perspective of this. The recommendations and suggestions by the author were not overly patronizing like so many are in this genre. It was well researched and eye opening. I’m ready to live next door to my best friends.
April 28, 2025
An authentic and entertaining read. Marina shows the messy, beautiful side of parenting in a way that’s both relatable and funny.
May 25, 2025
When I initially picked up this book, it was the title that caught my eye. Yell at my kids? Yikes. But I was recently postpartum, and the idea of understanding how children were raised across many cultures was intriguing to me. What I didn't expect was to find this one of the most powerful and affirming postpartum books I have read.
The author, a Washington Post journalist, and her husband were both raised in different cultures. It is this mixing of cultures that I think makes the author such a good narrator to tell the story. She is not just reporting on "how others do it"—she has lived it herself. She has experienced how her Brazilian family showed up post-birth versus her Chinese mother-in-law. This is all contrasted with their initial choice to raise their children in America, where support for mothers and families is hugely lacking.
Some of the book's concepts will stick with me for a long time, specifically:
- Understanding how other cultures have created built-in mechanisms to make mothers feel supported and less alone in those first few months postpartum. Whether it was a confinement doula who could explain what was happening with your hormones or family popping by to just sit with you in the hard moments, it reminded me that even here in America where this is lacking, we have an opportunity to think about how we show up for our chosen family.
- I was so shocked to learn how other cultures have created ways to help parents keep some of their own identity—even just being able to run into a restaurant or shop, or see a movie, like in Sweden where they have attendants who watch your baby during movies. It's such a little thing, but can you imagine that in America?
While every culture has its own pros and cons, I think the thread through it all is that there is no "right" way to raise a child, there is no "right" way to be postpartum. But there is one really, really hard way. And that is trying to do it alone.
The author, a Washington Post journalist, and her husband were both raised in different cultures. It is this mixing of cultures that I think makes the author such a good narrator to tell the story. She is not just reporting on "how others do it"—she has lived it herself. She has experienced how her Brazilian family showed up post-birth versus her Chinese mother-in-law. This is all contrasted with their initial choice to raise their children in America, where support for mothers and families is hugely lacking.
Some of the book's concepts will stick with me for a long time, specifically:
- Understanding how other cultures have created built-in mechanisms to make mothers feel supported and less alone in those first few months postpartum. Whether it was a confinement doula who could explain what was happening with your hormones or family popping by to just sit with you in the hard moments, it reminded me that even here in America where this is lacking, we have an opportunity to think about how we show up for our chosen family.
- I was so shocked to learn how other cultures have created ways to help parents keep some of their own identity—even just being able to run into a restaurant or shop, or see a movie, like in Sweden where they have attendants who watch your baby during movies. It's such a little thing, but can you imagine that in America?
While every culture has its own pros and cons, I think the thread through it all is that there is no "right" way to raise a child, there is no "right" way to be postpartum. But there is one really, really hard way. And that is trying to do it alone.
May 19, 2025
This was a DNF for me. The title is intriguing, the premise timely, the intro promising not to hold one culture superior to another wise, then… disappointment. It was very light on actual research and mostly just meandering personal narrative with sprinkles of overused anecdotes indeed inferring other parenting cultures are better than ours.
I’m feeling a little salty that the world is always yelling at us that we are doing it wrong without offering any practical solutions.
Example: I *did not* want an audience at my births. I am not entertaining while performing what to me is the incredibly intimate act of giving birth. The medical professionals, myself, and my partner are enough. I do not want to hand out gift bags to family who attend at the hospital (my god, really?!). In the wild, animals go off to be by themselves to give birth. They know what’s up.
Also, the author had gross generalizations about *the* American parenting culture. I am raising my children in a smallish, Midwest town. A lot of what she holds to be true for American parenting is not true to me. Some places in America still do have communities that watch out for each other.
Don’t get me wrong, she does point out real problems such as a lack of paid maternal and paternal leave, a move to parenting in silos and loneliness, and people living further away from family. But her “solutions” are disconnected from real life (maybe a major part of grandparents not helping with child-rearing is… the grandparents! Not the parents not asking!). Encouraging us all to move with our friends in Singapore in a sister wives type arrangement is just… baffling.
I’m feeling a little salty that the world is always yelling at us that we are doing it wrong without offering any practical solutions.
Example: I *did not* want an audience at my births. I am not entertaining while performing what to me is the incredibly intimate act of giving birth. The medical professionals, myself, and my partner are enough. I do not want to hand out gift bags to family who attend at the hospital (my god, really?!). In the wild, animals go off to be by themselves to give birth. They know what’s up.
Also, the author had gross generalizations about *the* American parenting culture. I am raising my children in a smallish, Midwest town. A lot of what she holds to be true for American parenting is not true to me. Some places in America still do have communities that watch out for each other.
Don’t get me wrong, she does point out real problems such as a lack of paid maternal and paternal leave, a move to parenting in silos and loneliness, and people living further away from family. But her “solutions” are disconnected from real life (maybe a major part of grandparents not helping with child-rearing is… the grandparents! Not the parents not asking!). Encouraging us all to move with our friends in Singapore in a sister wives type arrangement is just… baffling.
May 23, 2025
5 stars — The parenting manifesto I didn’t know I needed!
Please Yell At My Kids by Marina Lopes is the kind of book I want to press into every mum’s hands with an urgent “You have to read this.” It's funny, raw, comforting, and insightful. Almost like Marina has pulled back the curtain on the quiet parts of parenthood that we all live but rarely say out loud.
What I loved most is that, while it’s full of funny moments and relatable chaos, it also offers so many practical tips. Not in a preachy way, but in a deeply human, “here’s what’s helped me and many others before us survive” way. From reframing guilt and letting go of perfection to remembering your own identity amid the mental load, Marina delivers gems you’ll carry with you long after you close the book.
And it’s not just about parenting, it’s about community. This book made me want to lean in harder to my village, to ask for help, to show up for others, and to stop pretending we can do it all alone. It’s a tribute to the mum friends who save us, the shared glances at playgrounds that say “me too,” and the power of showing up - imperfect, overwhelmed, but together.
Do yourself a favour and pick it up - you won’t want to put it down!
Please Yell At My Kids by Marina Lopes is the kind of book I want to press into every mum’s hands with an urgent “You have to read this.” It's funny, raw, comforting, and insightful. Almost like Marina has pulled back the curtain on the quiet parts of parenthood that we all live but rarely say out loud.
What I loved most is that, while it’s full of funny moments and relatable chaos, it also offers so many practical tips. Not in a preachy way, but in a deeply human, “here’s what’s helped me and many others before us survive” way. From reframing guilt and letting go of perfection to remembering your own identity amid the mental load, Marina delivers gems you’ll carry with you long after you close the book.
And it’s not just about parenting, it’s about community. This book made me want to lean in harder to my village, to ask for help, to show up for others, and to stop pretending we can do it all alone. It’s a tribute to the mum friends who save us, the shared glances at playgrounds that say “me too,” and the power of showing up - imperfect, overwhelmed, but together.
Do yourself a favour and pick it up - you won’t want to put it down!
January 12, 2026
I stumbled upon this "Lucky Day" find at the library, and it truly resonated with me. As both a parent and a healthcare professional, I found Marina Lopes’ Please Yell at My Kids to be a must-read. Lopes explores 12 global traditions that treat child-rearing as a communal effort rather than an isolated, individual burden.
The chapters on postpartum care—specifically the Brazilian focus on preventing isolation and Chinese traditions that nurture the mother’s transformation—really hit home. It made me look at our American "system" with a critical eye: Why are we making healing women load newborns and toddlers into cars for checkups when we could be bringing care to them via home health nursing?
I also appreciated the critique of the modern "surveillance" state of parenting. Lopes notes that we now track everything from breathing to bowel movements, creating an environment described as "somewhere between an ICU and a maximum security prison." Programs like Let Grow offer a refreshing roadmap for independence. Finally, the section on intergenerational care and the chapter "Silver-Haired Pick-Ups" were not only thought-provoking from a care-delivery perspective, but also left me hopeful that I can one day provide that same "village" support for my own family. Highly recommended for anyone who feels like the village is missing.
The chapters on postpartum care—specifically the Brazilian focus on preventing isolation and Chinese traditions that nurture the mother’s transformation—really hit home. It made me look at our American "system" with a critical eye: Why are we making healing women load newborns and toddlers into cars for checkups when we could be bringing care to them via home health nursing?
I also appreciated the critique of the modern "surveillance" state of parenting. Lopes notes that we now track everything from breathing to bowel movements, creating an environment described as "somewhere between an ICU and a maximum security prison." Programs like Let Grow offer a refreshing roadmap for independence. Finally, the section on intergenerational care and the chapter "Silver-Haired Pick-Ups" were not only thought-provoking from a care-delivery perspective, but also left me hopeful that I can one day provide that same "village" support for my own family. Highly recommended for anyone who feels like the village is missing.
September 26, 2025
Oh! I forgot I also read this one! The title is gimmicky.
This was yet ANOTHER book about parenting in other cultures. This author traveled to 10 continents (and even lived for a while in different countries) and examines the parenting culture in different places. The theme is: have a community and prioritize it.
She said she thinks it's more important to spend time building your community than your registry when pregnant. And, I am just a pregnant person still, but that seems smart.
I think this book is good for me, a millennial, who has been very inundated in the culture of boundaries. Obviously boundaries are important (and she speaks about those!), but being able to be less rigid on certain things in order to let grandma help is probably more important. And that isn't the messaging I get fed on millennial social media apps. So, even if it's just for the sake of balance, this book is good for me.
This was yet ANOTHER book about parenting in other cultures. This author traveled to 10 continents (and even lived for a while in different countries) and examines the parenting culture in different places. The theme is: have a community and prioritize it.
She said she thinks it's more important to spend time building your community than your registry when pregnant. And, I am just a pregnant person still, but that seems smart.
I think this book is good for me, a millennial, who has been very inundated in the culture of boundaries. Obviously boundaries are important (and she speaks about those!), but being able to be less rigid on certain things in order to let grandma help is probably more important. And that isn't the messaging I get fed on millennial social media apps. So, even if it's just for the sake of balance, this book is good for me.
September 8, 2025
5/5 (actually 6/5) for message. 4/5 for writing and execution. This book is a beautiful antidote to the default American over-anxious helicopter-parent true-crime-obsessed lunacy. Parenting-related social media (at least in English) seems like a race to cut out the most people, establish the most “boundaries”, agonize over the dumbest stuff, and destroy any semblance of community that could exist to support moms.
The most important message of this book is that creating community is the best thing for you and your family to be happy and healthy. That is an unpopular fact backed up by decades of research. This book inspired me to go out and talk to my neighbors, make dinner plans, and plan more casual get togethers
The most important message of this book is that creating community is the best thing for you and your family to be happy and healthy. That is an unpopular fact backed up by decades of research. This book inspired me to go out and talk to my neighbors, make dinner plans, and plan more casual get togethers
May 24, 2025
*I won this as a Goodreads Giveaway.*
As an American parent myself, I found this read enjoyable. Although I would be remiss if I didn't say, at times I was jealous of how other cultures in the world handle parenting. This book covers from birth to teens, how parents around the globe approach different ages and stages. How their environments can support them and some of the shortcomings as well. I think any parent can find something in this book to relate to and perhaps find a practice they can use in their own parenthood.
As an American parent myself, I found this read enjoyable. Although I would be remiss if I didn't say, at times I was jealous of how other cultures in the world handle parenting. This book covers from birth to teens, how parents around the globe approach different ages and stages. How their environments can support them and some of the shortcomings as well. I think any parent can find something in this book to relate to and perhaps find a practice they can use in their own parenthood.
October 3, 2025
This was a hard book to read as I navigate postpartum life in the US. I wish we had half the supports that some of these other countries have. I appreciated the author’s tips for cultivating your own parental community and will be taking some of them into my life as I try to deepen relationships with other moms.
October 8, 2025
I found this book misleading thanks to its fluffy language, generalizations, and even title (spoiler: it is not about the benefits kids get from being disciplined). Many times, I almost quit listening to this, but I stuck it out because it inspired me to think of parenting far beyond the single-home, nuclear-family world we're accustomed to seeing.
December 15, 2025
This book had some genuinely fresh perspectives on parenting and challenged a few assumptions I didn’t realize I had. While I didn’t agree with everything and some things felt a bit obscure, I still found it engaging and worthwhile. Overall, it’s a good read that left me thinking differently about certain aspects of parenting.
September 4, 2025
A good review of why parenting sucks in America. Honestly, though, its seems we get the short end of the stick in everything having to do with child rearing so here is a book about creating the community yourself that you need in order to raise well-adjusted children without going insane yourself.
October 30, 2025
This is an excellent observation of global cultures in relation to raising children and supporting parents. There are huge communities and huge discrepancies in the world that most of us aren't even aware of. Our most precious resource is being squandered and we don't even realize it.
November 4, 2025
What a beautiful, honest and funny account of parenting in community! Marina joins her own personal stories with well-researched experiences from around the world to share how we can parent differently and better. I enjoyed every page!!
December 4, 2025
I really liked this! Tbh my Libby audiobook came due before I could listen to the entire thing but I listened to about 80%. I thought the chapter about grandparents was great and super helpful. Felt like a well balanced parenting book!
Read
April 26, 2025.
April 28, 2025
Hooked by the genius title, then delighted by the content. Useful perspectives, not preachy - so hard to find in the parenting book world.
September 13, 2025
Would be especially great for young parents to read
October 28, 2025
Really enjoyed the read. Book could have been framed better - it was a lot of her personal narratives, BUT I found them quite interesting. I'd recommend.
November 23, 2025
Please yell at my book for repetitive disclaimers about cultural differences and limitations. This book is one cultural stereotype after another but that’s kinda the point.
November 29, 2025
Thinking Day Finland 2025
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews