I Was Told There’d Be a Village: Transforming Motherhood Through the Power of Connection

by Melissa Wirt

Pushing back against a system which feels designed to keep parents isolated and exhausted, Latched Mama founder, Melissa Wirt shows moms how to build a supportive “village” to bring joy and connection back to motherhood.

Melissa Wirt thought she had everything—she'd built her own company and moved to a beautiful farm with her family. Then during a personal crisis, she despite having created an online community reaching thousands of moms, she’d also somehow, become utterly isolated.

In I Was Told There'd Be a Village , Melissa describes how she began making small changes—leaving behind a damaging Isolation Mindset and developing an advantageous Village Mindset. Using personal anecdotes and stories from moms across the country, this book provides specific, actionable steps to transform oppressive, solitary parenting into a connected, collective (even joyful) endeavor.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Family

320 pages, Hardcover

Published April 8, 2025

About the author

Melissa Wirt is a lover of people's stories, coffee, and adventure. She leads a fast paced life as a mom of six (under 13) and Founder/CEO of ecommerce brand Latched Mama.

She lives outside of Richmond, VA with her husband, kids, four dogs, six cats, a donkey named Bentley and a duck named Marshmallow.

Reviews

[Sofi Aceves (The Bookish Flor on YouTube ) Aceves · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is an ok intro into what a village could possibly look like, but I fear that the real meaning of the village is not really there.

It mostly tells you how you can ask for help, which can be useful for some people, but being part of a village is not only complaining and asking for help but also being there for others. When talking about others' needs is very short and superficial.

Also, the constant plug for her business
makes it feel like I'm reading a sponsored post without the hashtag warning that this is an ad.

The two things that bothered me most is that this is definitely written from a privileged point of view, which I can't judge too much since you can only speak from life experiences and well, this is her's, but there's a very limited group of people that can relate to this.

The Other thing that bothered me was the fact that it seems to be telling us that only Other mother's can be part of the village, I have amazing friends, who are not mother's who are always there as my village.

I would suggest you look for a person who's life and culture is already village centered and learn from them if this is something you are actually interested in.

[Brittany Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved the general advice, but I hated the personal anecdotes because she’s an asshole to her friends and this book felt like more of a public apology.

[Hannah Gaffney · Rating 1 out of 5]

Didn’t finish - I was bummed it was really only giving suburban married mom vibes. wasn’t inclusive or relatable to the experience of moms in non-traditional situations ☹️

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5/5 stars

I had really high hopes for this book, as a tired, overworked, overwhelmed mom. I definitely felt like this book acknowledged that motherhood is hard and felt affirmed in all of the complex feelings that come with being a mom. In that sense, this book was excellent.

BUT here’s the thing: I know having a wider village would be amazing. I feel like so much of this book was trying to convince me of the importance of a village. I know that already. I think most moms dream of that and we don’t need convincing as to why it’s helpful. The practical advice just felt surface level and honestly hard to imagine taking. We don’t all have spouses with WFH jobs or a business we run with flexible hours. How do we build a village when we are running from 7am - 9pm? That’s what I wanted and not what I got.

There were also times this felt like reading a long advertisement.

Complex feelings upon finishing this book but overall I was disappointed.

[Naomi Figueroa · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who became a parent during the pandemic shutdown, I knew this book was a must-read. This book provides practical advice that a reader can take or leave in building a village. Much of this advice might seem obvious, but in the throes of parenthood it's a helpful and thoughtfully organized guide.

This is especially helpful for people raising children who feel isolated, especially if they don't have help from relatives or are raising children in a new community. I appreciate the format because it includes anecdotes, advice, and a list of suggested actions/activities at the end of each chapter. This would have taken me a year to get through when I had a newborn, but it would be so easy to pick up, put back down, and pick up where I left off. I also think it could be read out of order and be helpful.

I appreciate this book and believe many others will find it helpful as they navigate the transition to motherhood.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Mallory Westover · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

There was some good advice sprinkled here and there in what felt like a huge ad for her business.

[Hannah Torres · Rating 4 out of 5]

While this book makes some salient points and is certainly an encouraging and uplifting read, it felt better fit for an Instagram carousel or a substack article. The target audience is busy moms, many of whom have a holdup with building a village due to a lack of time, so it’s hard to imagine that they’d be able to make the time to read a book about it instead. Still, the author makes some great points and it was well written. My main takeaways were that looking for mom friends is not like looking for a spouse — we need to be less picky sometimes. You will surprise yourself with the array of people that you end up connecting with despite what appear to be few commonalities. Really, that’s what adulthood and parenthood is: accepting that other people (your spouse, child, family and friends) are not you and that’s not only okay, but also a really good thing.
I think there’s a bigger systemic and societal issue of women being pressured to build a better village and find time for self-care when ideally that would be built in to our society, but that’s not where we’re at.

Thank you to the author, Grand Central Publishing and Net Galley for the early copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Anita Kyne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was relatable AF. Eye opening. There are phrases that make you have Ah Ha moments. Things like "We can't connect if there's no one around to connect to". The internet and our current culture has made it so easy to avoid contact with other people. Simply put, we can decrease isolation by increasing the number of people we encounter. Another great takeaway - "Small talk has it's purpose; it's a 'verbal wave' & a gateway to common ground".

I've felt extremely isolated since the birth of my third child. My best friend moved away and I'm farther from my sister than I had been. I've thought often that I should have a village, but wasn't sure where to start.

Enter Melissa Wirt & her awesome book I Was Told There'd Be a Village. It took me 10 days to read this one, and it's not because it wasn't fantastic! It's because there is a lot of reflection that comes with changing your mindset. Each chapter gives small action steps you could try. And try I am.

Thank you SO much to the author for the well researched and actionable ideas to building a village. Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review. If you're a mom (or parent) and you've ever wondered where your village is, I encourage you to read this book and take action to creating one for yourself.

[Kayleigh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly, I could barely get through most of this book and maybe it just wasn't for me. For someone with so many children, Wirt complains about the impact it's had on her life at every opportunity.

I wanted to root for the "find your village" impression this book gave but it spent so much time highlighting how it was so hard for her due to her own actions, yes, the friends you blew off for months are going to keep going with their lives and them welcoming you back is not due to them suddenly understanding your plight as a mum. Yes, doing the hard thing of reaching out to someone you parallel interact with multiple times a week can be exhausting but why was that the takeaway over the benefits from that hard opportunity.
Having a village can be life saving, but you need to also be the village when you can.

Thanks to netgalley for the audio arc!

[Marah | Gracefully Distracted · Rating 1 out of 5]

I appreciate Netgalley and Ms.Wirt's team for allowing me an ARC copy of this book.

I'll be honest I had really high hopes for this book. But the overall tone was condescending and kind of jerk-ish. I tried so hard to finish strong but I just couldn't. It's so frustrating to be reading a book that has the power to be encouraging but just isn't. I work with moms and families and this definitely wouldn't be a top 5 that I would send to them. We're all tired and exhausted, it still doesn't give you the right to be a jerk. DNF at over 40% completed.

[Victoria · Rating 1 out of 5]

You don’t a book to tell you to smile at other Moms on the playground. This book just shows six kids is too many to manage (without a further support network), and I lost track at how many times she name dropped her own business. Skip.

[Alexandra Caggiano · Rating 5 out of 5]

A big thank you to NetGalley and Melissa Wirt for an E ARC of this book, as a nanny who is intricately woven in the lives of mothers both new, experienced and every in between, I thought this would be an insightful read. It actually helped me to realize how much I could use a village in my own life. Sometimes nannying can be a bit isolating in similar ways. Some nanny friends live in different parts of the world so while connecting on social media is helpful, the day to day life is still lonely and this book inspired me to get back out there and start pushing past the nerves to find my people and my village. 🤍

[Haley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a relatable view into modern motherhood. I wish I would have had this as a resource in my earliest days as a mom. Provided tangible ideas for how to build community as a mom navigating the world.

The audiobook narration was great.

Thanks NetGalley for the chance to read and review!

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a village. I almost didn't read this because I felt like a fraud reading this book I thought would be about doing it on your own with no help when I do have help. My mom and mother-in-law watch the baby so I can work full time, my sister-in-law will watch the baby whenever we need, and our neighbors have a baby the same age as ours and they will help us in any way they can, just as we do for them. I have a village.

But this book made me cry. Because I don't have the village this book was talking about, friends that you can lean on and support you, in every single facet of your life. I am a sometimes friend unfortunately, mostly by my own flaky doing. And this book really opened my eyes to how detrimental that is to my own life and mental health. I've already started taking steps to make changes to my own village.

This book isn't about your babies village, it's about yours as a mom. And that's a village I lack.

Read this book.

[Jenna Otten · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book talks about an extremely important issue in modern motherhood. I can't tell you how many women I know who have had kids thinking their community will show up for them and then didn't.

I loved the practical steps in this book and the mindset shifts.

Once the author started talking about her lawsuit she became unrelatable. It seemed like she wasn't taking responsibility for her role in the conflict. Also when she talked about the women who wasn't a fit for being friends with her that made me uncomfortable. I hope she got that woman's permission to share the story, but also the author seemed so judgmental and rude.

The audio quality was great and I enjoyed the narrator.

Genre: Nonfiction
Age: Adult
Read for: Netgalley
Obtained from: Thanks to Harper Audio and Netgalley for the Advanced Listening Copy

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to get an early reader copy! I Was Told There is a Village has completely changed the way I approach motherhood. It opened my eyes to the importance of taking care of myself—not just for me, but for my kids too. The advice in this book made building my ‘village’ feel practical and doable.

Thanks to Melissa’s guidance, I’ve started saying yes to invitations, reaching out more, and creating small but meaningful connections. Now, I’m no longer just getting through motherhood—I’m thriving in it with a community by my side.

If you’ve ever felt alone in this journey, this book will inspire and empower you to find your people.

[Carley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I appreciate the chance from NetGalley to read this early. But it’s not the book I was hoping it would be. The tone was not good and it spoke down on mothers who have nobody and came from a place that many of us aren’t at. It was negatively speaking, and I had hoped it would inspire and speak about the woes some of us face, not from a place of privilege and snarkiness.

[Karisa Farkas · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very interesting to me. As someone who has a hard time asking for help, and for someone who’s lost a best friend before post partum, I found some peace with this book. I tend to not ask for help, because of how I was raised, and because I’m deathly afraid of my small amount of remaining friends to just up and leave without explanation, just like before. However, I do think I’d benefit from asking for help, especially with what I’m going through currently.

However, the author contradicts herself quite a bit about being open to diversity in your village, how she talks about her “crunchy” days, and how if someone doesn’t believe in the same core values, to not put them in your village. Doesn’t seem to really foster diversity, but her first point was a good point for me.

The author reiterates that mothering is hard, without other mothers feeling superior due to their crunchy/parenting beliefs. We should all be supporting each other instead of letting people “suffer” just because you did. I’m pretty introverted, so a lot of the tips in the book about a village was cringey to me because I keep to myself often. However, as the years go on, maybe I’ll venture out more and maybe make a friend or two, or cherish and grow the friendships I have in my current village.

[Terrah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m a big fan of books about gathering and creating connection and community. This one was a little long, came off as a little self-centered, and it totally bugged me that there wasn’t talk about the coparent stepping up when times were tough. It also would have been a better read for me 10-15 years ago since a lot of it was geared towards parenting with babies and toddlers.

I did like the examples of inward and outward mindsets at the beginning of the chapters, tips at the end of the chapters, and just the general reminder that reaching out and building relationships is worth it, even when it’s hard and takes effort. It did propel me to reschedule girls game night when I had to cancel instead of just cancelling, so there’s that!

[Abby Helmuth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was so excited to read this book because I love talking about the concept of village/community as it relates to raising children . . . but this fell flat. :( I was trying to figure out why it made me feel uncomfortable, and I think the best way to describe it is that Wirt speaks of village in an oddly transactional way. Like, make friends with that person at the park so they can carpool your kids to school. I truly think there was a spiritual element missing about WHY relationships are so significant and how we are formed by God to be in relationship and those concepts go deeper than trading childcare or meal trains.

If I took anything away: it’s probably a bad idea to become the CEO of a major company while you’re in the midst of having six children 😵‍💫

[Mari Sim · Rating 5 out of 5]

That’s not only about the difficulties of motherhood. That’s about seeking human connection and community. And oh boy, do we need it as society!

Loved the book!

[Ashley O'shea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of the advice was geared towards introverts, some of it was very affirming for my extrovert self, and some was new. I loved the rawness of all the mom’s stories, especially the author’s.

[LeAn · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5 stars! Thank you to NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for this eARC of I Was Told There'd Be A Village by Melissa Wirt.

This was a beautiful and a must-read for all (new and atypical) moms. I really connected with this because of my kids with special needs. Reading this was sort of like a refresher and became a check list for me to explore when I first found out about my son's rare genetic disorder. The "other moms" relationships that the author shared, reminded me of how it was up to me to reach out to other moms who have gone through this path, and allowed me to ask all of my questions and to really find my village. This was a reminder of how you should and can always ask for help to find that connections with other moms. The only "con" thing I can remember of this book is that some of the things were repetitive, however, I feel like it may be needed so that we don't forget.

This also reminded me of the time when I lost my son back in 2022 and was finding my village on how to help me grieve. Again, this was another uncharted territory that I did not know and did not know what to expect for the future. This reminds me of the relationships that I have with other friends who have gone through this dark path and can rely on one another to be supportive and just...be present. I would reach out to my other grieving momfriends to ask for help on methods of grieving.

Beautifully done! I will be recommending this book to all of my mom friends!

[GabbyGetsReading · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was pretty tone deaf. If youre gonna speak on all moms than you need to consider more than your privileged perspective. Being a mom without a village is definitely difficult but no matter what I've gone through as a mom, I've never thought I should take my anger out on someone else or use someone else for my benifits. When I meet other moms its to make friends with someone who gets it, not so they can be a back up nanny or transport my kid for me. Just because we're mom's doesnt make us immune to accountability. The author made a lot of actions and then pointed at everyone but herself for the consequences. If you have 5 or more kids, its time to start looking inward and having realistic expectations. Also the audiobook version of this book was very bleak and the voice she used was grating.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full disclosure, I decided not to finish this book once I got to the 30% mark and skimmed some more only because I’m just not the target market for it, but what I listened to was lovely.

This is the book most new moms probably need to listen to or read; I wish I had had it in that season of my life. It’s highly encouraging and upbeat while acknowledging many of the struggles that come with navigating young motherhood. While it seems I have a slightly different value system than the author, overall I could appreciate the heart of it and where she’s coming from. Maybe you won’t relate to (or agree with) it all but if not it still may help you understand someone else. Motherhood is hard, and you don’t have to do it alone.

I listened to the audiobook version and really enjoyed the authors narration. She was pleasant to listen to and just sounded like a friend talking to you.

Thank you to NetGalley for the opportunity to enjoy this book. All opinions are my own.

[Peanuts · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a good book for new moms. reads fast and likes a giant pep talk with helpful key moves. I would have loved this book when I was a new mom.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

When i came across this book online, I knew by the title that it was gonna be a must-read book for me.

I am not normally a non-fiction reader. But as a first-time mom who has been struggling to feel confident in motherhood, I knew I needed to read this book.

This book hit on so many things that I had been feeling since having my son and even some extras that I haven't experienced. Melissa does an amazing job making you feel seen and not alone on this journey called motherhood.

If you are a mother in any capacity, you should pick this book up! There is so much to learn and different perspectives to help you see things from someone else's point of view as well!

I was lucky enough to recieve an advanced reader copy of this book but I will definitely be buying a physical copy once it's officially released!

Thank you to Grand Central Publishing for the early digital copy 🙏

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Full RTC, tysm to NetGalley for the ALC!

[Ashley Larson · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn’t get through the first chapter, it felt too harsh and negative to continue reading for my liking