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Hate the Game: Economic Cheat Codes for Life, Love, and Work
What economists know that we should know, translated for all of us.
Should I buy or rent? Do I ask for a promotion? Should I tell people I’m pregnant? What salary do I deserve? Should I just quit this job? Common anxieties about life are often grounded in economics. In an increasingly win-lose society, these economic decisions—where to work, where to live, even how to live—have a way of feeling fixed and mistakes terminal.
Daryl Fairweather is no stranger to these dynamics. As the first Black woman to receive an economics PhD from the famed University of Chicago, she saw firsthand how concepts of behavioral economics and game theory were deployed in the real world—and in her own life—to great effect. Hate the Game combines Fairweather’s elite knowledge of these principles with her singular voice in describing how they can be harnessed. Her great talent, unique among economists, is her ability to articulate economic trends in a way that is not just informative, but also accounts for life’s other anxieties.
In Hate the Game, Fairweather fixes her expertise and service on navigating the earliest economic inflection points of adult whether to go to college and for how long; partnering, having kids, both, or neither; getting, keeping, and changing jobs; and where to live and how to pay for it. She speaks in actionable terms about what the economy means for individual people, especially those who have the sneaking suspicion they’re losing out. Set against her own experiences and enriched with lessons from history, science, and pop culture, Fairweather instructs readers on how to use game theory and behavioral science to map out options and choose directions while offering readers a sense of control and agency in an economy where those things are increasingly rare.
Should I buy or rent? Do I ask for a promotion? Should I tell people I’m pregnant? What salary do I deserve? Should I just quit this job? Common anxieties about life are often grounded in economics. In an increasingly win-lose society, these economic decisions—where to work, where to live, even how to live—have a way of feeling fixed and mistakes terminal.
Daryl Fairweather is no stranger to these dynamics. As the first Black woman to receive an economics PhD from the famed University of Chicago, she saw firsthand how concepts of behavioral economics and game theory were deployed in the real world—and in her own life—to great effect. Hate the Game combines Fairweather’s elite knowledge of these principles with her singular voice in describing how they can be harnessed. Her great talent, unique among economists, is her ability to articulate economic trends in a way that is not just informative, but also accounts for life’s other anxieties.
In Hate the Game, Fairweather fixes her expertise and service on navigating the earliest economic inflection points of adult whether to go to college and for how long; partnering, having kids, both, or neither; getting, keeping, and changing jobs; and where to live and how to pay for it. She speaks in actionable terms about what the economy means for individual people, especially those who have the sneaking suspicion they’re losing out. Set against her own experiences and enriched with lessons from history, science, and pop culture, Fairweather instructs readers on how to use game theory and behavioral science to map out options and choose directions while offering readers a sense of control and agency in an economy where those things are increasingly rare.
272 pages, Hardcover
Published April 11, 2025
47 people are currently reading
646 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
May 1, 2025
3/5 ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Some interesting statistics and economic data on big life choices like buying or renting a house, having children, negotiating salary, moving to a new city, and more.
It was particularly interesting to read about the housing market trends before and after the pandemic.
Still, super sad to see that, statistically, women continue to earn less and are at a disadvantage in the job market overall, especially for positions requiring the highest education.
It was also interesting to read about the author’s personal experience working at Amazon in a leadership role and how the company optimizes everything to maximize profits. The described competitive culture didn’t shock me either.
All in all, this book offers contemporary solutions, supported by economic data, to the same old life problems.
Some interesting statistics and economic data on big life choices like buying or renting a house, having children, negotiating salary, moving to a new city, and more.
It was particularly interesting to read about the housing market trends before and after the pandemic.
Still, super sad to see that, statistically, women continue to earn less and are at a disadvantage in the job market overall, especially for positions requiring the highest education.
It was also interesting to read about the author’s personal experience working at Amazon in a leadership role and how the company optimizes everything to maximize profits. The described competitive culture didn’t shock me either.
All in all, this book offers contemporary solutions, supported by economic data, to the same old life problems.
June 16, 2025
meh read
concept: people feel like they’re playing catch-up in a system designed to keep them one move behind. In reality, these challenges follow patterns that can be understood and navigated – if you know how to think strategically.
negotiation, decision-making, and even relationships can be understood as strategic games.
notes:
- we make better decisions when we understand what game we're playing
- we play games for different reasons. Some are played for rewards, like promotions or money. Others are played simply for enjoyment: think of dancing or the social game of friendship. And some are played for the lessons they teach us: these help us grow skills and knowledge, often referred to in economics as human capital
- A job might not pay much now, but it could teach skills that lead to better opportunities down the line. A risky investment might fail, but the lessons could set you up for success next time.
- Negotiations don’t always reward power or fairness – they reward information
- Never walk into a negotiation assuming all players value the same things. Gather information. Understand your opponent’s goals, limits, and alternatives.
- make peace with uncertainty and it'll be easer to make smart calls
- Overthinking doesn’t guarantee better performance – in fact, it often leads you in circles
- look for the “good enough” decision. Think carefully, but not endlessly. Know when to stop digging. Often, the first well-reasoned answer is just as good – or better – than the answer you’d arrive at after hours of analysis. Make peace with uncertainty, make your best move, and move on.
- choosing empathy over ego
concept: people feel like they’re playing catch-up in a system designed to keep them one move behind. In reality, these challenges follow patterns that can be understood and navigated – if you know how to think strategically.
negotiation, decision-making, and even relationships can be understood as strategic games.
notes:
- we make better decisions when we understand what game we're playing
- we play games for different reasons. Some are played for rewards, like promotions or money. Others are played simply for enjoyment: think of dancing or the social game of friendship. And some are played for the lessons they teach us: these help us grow skills and knowledge, often referred to in economics as human capital
- A job might not pay much now, but it could teach skills that lead to better opportunities down the line. A risky investment might fail, but the lessons could set you up for success next time.
- Negotiations don’t always reward power or fairness – they reward information
- Never walk into a negotiation assuming all players value the same things. Gather information. Understand your opponent’s goals, limits, and alternatives.
- make peace with uncertainty and it'll be easer to make smart calls
- Overthinking doesn’t guarantee better performance – in fact, it often leads you in circles
- look for the “good enough” decision. Think carefully, but not endlessly. Know when to stop digging. Often, the first well-reasoned answer is just as good – or better – than the answer you’d arrive at after hours of analysis. Make peace with uncertainty, make your best move, and move on.
- choosing empathy over ego
Read
October 11, 2025Fairweather is great on twitter but I should have read the blurb - this is a self-help book and doesn't have much about the housing market. However though I am not an expert in the genre I imagine Rich Dad Poor Dad or whatever includes less advocacy for land value taxes, so overall thumbs up.
June 6, 2025
I picked this up at the airport excited to find a book on game theory applied to real life. I studied Econ in college and love Freakonomics and devour all kinds of applied economics media on a regular basis. This book, though, was a disappointment.
I appreciated Fairweather’s attempt at weaving in personal experience with real data to showcase her points. The stories from her personal life were compelling as she has a unique family history and marriage dynamic.
I wish she’d leaned into those more and just written a memoir because the game theory aspect of this fell flat for me. The tactics she recommends and the examples she walks the reader through are too obvious and common knowledge at this point.
Even if you haven’t read Freakonomics (which she compares her work to), or Malcom Gladwell, or listened to popular podcasts that often deal with themes like this like This American Life, Invisibilia, etc, you will have likely come across most of what this book covers simply by existing in the world.
I would recommend this book to very young adults or teenagers interested in how data can be applied for real life circumstances. Otherwise, I don’t think it’s worth your time.
I appreciated Fairweather’s attempt at weaving in personal experience with real data to showcase her points. The stories from her personal life were compelling as she has a unique family history and marriage dynamic.
I wish she’d leaned into those more and just written a memoir because the game theory aspect of this fell flat for me. The tactics she recommends and the examples she walks the reader through are too obvious and common knowledge at this point.
Even if you haven’t read Freakonomics (which she compares her work to), or Malcom Gladwell, or listened to popular podcasts that often deal with themes like this like This American Life, Invisibilia, etc, you will have likely come across most of what this book covers simply by existing in the world.
I would recommend this book to very young adults or teenagers interested in how data can be applied for real life circumstances. Otherwise, I don’t think it’s worth your time.
Read
June 17, 2025In "Hate The Game: Economic Cheat Codes for Life, Love, and Work", Daryl Fairweather explores how economic and game theory can offer a practical guide for navigating life’s most difficult decisions. From the challenges of finding a stable career to the intricacies of relationships and financial struggles, Fairweather argues that many of life’s frustrations stem not from individual failure but from misunderstanding the rules of the games we’re playing. Through a mix of accessible economic concepts and real-life examples, she encourages readers to think strategically, recognize patterns, and shift from feeling powerless to being intentional players in their own lives.
At the core of the book is the idea that life is full of 'games' – not necessarily in the playful sense, but in the structured sense, where choices have consequences, incentives shape outcomes, and strategies matter. Whether you’re choosing a career path, negotiating a contract, or managing a household budget, these are competitive environments where decisions shape future possibilities. Fairweather draws on game theory to show how identifying the type of game – cooperative or competitive, zero-sum or win-win – can dramatically improve your ability to make sound choices.
A key point she makes is that we all have internal utility functions – subconscious or conscious assessments of what brings us value. But we’re not always great at identifying what we truly want. Unlike animals, who mostly act on instinct for survival or reproduction, humans make decisions for reasons that range from practical rewards to emotional fulfillment to skill development. The clearer we are on our own values and long-term goals, the better we can choose which games are worth our time and effort. Sometimes a low-paying job might offer skills that open doors later, while other times a flashy opportunity could be all risk with no learning. Thinking in terms of 'strategic returns' instead of just short-term wins can lead to much better long-term positioning.
Negotiation, one of the book’s standout themes, is framed as an 'information game.' Fairweather emphasizes that power in negotiation isn’t just about money, confidence, or status—it’s about who knows more. The side with greater insight into both parties’ positions and priorities usually wins. She gives an example from the music industry, where two members of Destiny’s Child attempted to oust their manager, not realizing he’d already prioritized Beyoncé’s solo career. Their bluff failed because they misjudged the value of their own position and underestimated their opponent’s clarity of vision. The lesson is clear: never enter a negotiation without understanding what the other side values and what their options are. Emotional assumptions and misplaced confidence can lead to strategic missteps.
But the book doesn’t stop at tactical advice; it also acknowledges the limits of strategy. Overthinking, for instance, can be just as harmful as underthinking. Drawing on behavioral economics, Fairweather explains how trying to predict what others are predicting—like in a financial market or a 'beauty contest' game—can lead to mental paralysis. She shows that in many scenarios, especially those with layers of human judgment and uncertainty, there’s a sweet spot: think deeply, but don’t overanalyze. Pursuing perfect information is often counterproductive. The goal should be a good-enough decision, made with confidence and self-awareness, rather than a perfect one made too late.
The marriage section of the book is particularly striking, offering a nuanced look at how long-term relationships function as both commitment and negotiation games. Fairweather unpacks how spouses must constantly make joint decisions, and how the health of a marriage often hinges on whether both parties believe they’re better off inside the relationship than outside it. She also discusses the common mistake of assuming our preferences won’t change—a concept known as projection bias. Just as people invest in home gyms they never use, they may enter marriage expecting permanent emotions. But preferences evolve, and preparing for that reality through honest conversations or even prenuptial agreements is a form of strategic foresight, not pessimism.
Brinkmanship—constant power struggles and ultimatums—is identified as a toxic dynamic that often signals deeper instability. In game theory terms, this is the 'chicken game,' where both sides escalate until someone backs down. In relationships, however, winning the standoff usually means losing trust. Fairweather stresses the importance of teamwork and empathy over winning arguments. The healthiest marriages, like successful partnerships in business, rely on long-term alignment and a shared sense of value—not just legal ties or romantic optimism.
The book also turns its lens on money. Fairweather uses the economic concept of 'corner solutions' to explain why some people make seemingly extreme financial choices. If your car breaks down and you can’t afford to fix it or get a loan, you’re stuck with what’s left – even if it’s inconvenient or inefficient. In these cases, people aren’t being irrational; they’re just responding to limited options. She connects this to the broader idea of scarcity, not just as a lack of money but as a mental state. Scarcity narrows focus and impairs long-term thinking, often leading to decisions that provide short-term relief but worsen financial insecurity.
In these situations, Fairweather suggests, saving should not be the immediate goal. Instead, people should concentrate on reducing stress and increasing income. The mental burden of trying to save while barely surviving can do more harm than good. Once a person’s income stabilizes, they can focus on building an emergency fund, then graduate to long-term investments like retirement savings. She advises practical tools like index funds for building wealth and recommends cutting back on status-driven spending. If your environment is draining resources without providing value, consider relocating or making a bold lifestyle change.
Across all these domains—work, love, money—Fairweather comes back to a simple but powerful message: understand the game you’re in, know what you want from it, and learn when to walk away. Not every game is worth playing, and not every loss is a failure. Sometimes, quitting a rigged or unrewarding game is the smartest move. The real power comes from seeing the system clearly and adjusting your strategy accordingly.
In conclusion, "Hate The Game" is a compelling reminder that while we can’t always choose the rules of life, we can choose how we play. By blending economic principles with real-world insights, Fairweather offers readers a toolkit for making smarter, braver decisions. Whether you’re in a dead-end job, an unbalanced relationship, or financial stress, this book encourages a shift in mindset: from helplessness to strategy, from frustration to understanding. Life may be an uneven playing field, but with the right tools, it’s possible to play smarter, grow stronger, and ultimately, win on your own terms.
At the core of the book is the idea that life is full of 'games' – not necessarily in the playful sense, but in the structured sense, where choices have consequences, incentives shape outcomes, and strategies matter. Whether you’re choosing a career path, negotiating a contract, or managing a household budget, these are competitive environments where decisions shape future possibilities. Fairweather draws on game theory to show how identifying the type of game – cooperative or competitive, zero-sum or win-win – can dramatically improve your ability to make sound choices.
A key point she makes is that we all have internal utility functions – subconscious or conscious assessments of what brings us value. But we’re not always great at identifying what we truly want. Unlike animals, who mostly act on instinct for survival or reproduction, humans make decisions for reasons that range from practical rewards to emotional fulfillment to skill development. The clearer we are on our own values and long-term goals, the better we can choose which games are worth our time and effort. Sometimes a low-paying job might offer skills that open doors later, while other times a flashy opportunity could be all risk with no learning. Thinking in terms of 'strategic returns' instead of just short-term wins can lead to much better long-term positioning.
Negotiation, one of the book’s standout themes, is framed as an 'information game.' Fairweather emphasizes that power in negotiation isn’t just about money, confidence, or status—it’s about who knows more. The side with greater insight into both parties’ positions and priorities usually wins. She gives an example from the music industry, where two members of Destiny’s Child attempted to oust their manager, not realizing he’d already prioritized Beyoncé’s solo career. Their bluff failed because they misjudged the value of their own position and underestimated their opponent’s clarity of vision. The lesson is clear: never enter a negotiation without understanding what the other side values and what their options are. Emotional assumptions and misplaced confidence can lead to strategic missteps.
But the book doesn’t stop at tactical advice; it also acknowledges the limits of strategy. Overthinking, for instance, can be just as harmful as underthinking. Drawing on behavioral economics, Fairweather explains how trying to predict what others are predicting—like in a financial market or a 'beauty contest' game—can lead to mental paralysis. She shows that in many scenarios, especially those with layers of human judgment and uncertainty, there’s a sweet spot: think deeply, but don’t overanalyze. Pursuing perfect information is often counterproductive. The goal should be a good-enough decision, made with confidence and self-awareness, rather than a perfect one made too late.
The marriage section of the book is particularly striking, offering a nuanced look at how long-term relationships function as both commitment and negotiation games. Fairweather unpacks how spouses must constantly make joint decisions, and how the health of a marriage often hinges on whether both parties believe they’re better off inside the relationship than outside it. She also discusses the common mistake of assuming our preferences won’t change—a concept known as projection bias. Just as people invest in home gyms they never use, they may enter marriage expecting permanent emotions. But preferences evolve, and preparing for that reality through honest conversations or even prenuptial agreements is a form of strategic foresight, not pessimism.
Brinkmanship—constant power struggles and ultimatums—is identified as a toxic dynamic that often signals deeper instability. In game theory terms, this is the 'chicken game,' where both sides escalate until someone backs down. In relationships, however, winning the standoff usually means losing trust. Fairweather stresses the importance of teamwork and empathy over winning arguments. The healthiest marriages, like successful partnerships in business, rely on long-term alignment and a shared sense of value—not just legal ties or romantic optimism.
The book also turns its lens on money. Fairweather uses the economic concept of 'corner solutions' to explain why some people make seemingly extreme financial choices. If your car breaks down and you can’t afford to fix it or get a loan, you’re stuck with what’s left – even if it’s inconvenient or inefficient. In these cases, people aren’t being irrational; they’re just responding to limited options. She connects this to the broader idea of scarcity, not just as a lack of money but as a mental state. Scarcity narrows focus and impairs long-term thinking, often leading to decisions that provide short-term relief but worsen financial insecurity.
In these situations, Fairweather suggests, saving should not be the immediate goal. Instead, people should concentrate on reducing stress and increasing income. The mental burden of trying to save while barely surviving can do more harm than good. Once a person’s income stabilizes, they can focus on building an emergency fund, then graduate to long-term investments like retirement savings. She advises practical tools like index funds for building wealth and recommends cutting back on status-driven spending. If your environment is draining resources without providing value, consider relocating or making a bold lifestyle change.
Across all these domains—work, love, money—Fairweather comes back to a simple but powerful message: understand the game you’re in, know what you want from it, and learn when to walk away. Not every game is worth playing, and not every loss is a failure. Sometimes, quitting a rigged or unrewarding game is the smartest move. The real power comes from seeing the system clearly and adjusting your strategy accordingly.
In conclusion, "Hate The Game" is a compelling reminder that while we can’t always choose the rules of life, we can choose how we play. By blending economic principles with real-world insights, Fairweather offers readers a toolkit for making smarter, braver decisions. Whether you’re in a dead-end job, an unbalanced relationship, or financial stress, this book encourages a shift in mindset: from helplessness to strategy, from frustration to understanding. Life may be an uneven playing field, but with the right tools, it’s possible to play smarter, grow stronger, and ultimately, win on your own terms.
May 22, 2025
Read Harder Challenge 2025: 1. Read a 2025 release by a BIPOC author.
What intrigued me: I heard Kimberly Adams interview Daryl Fairweather on NPR's Marketplace and bought the book immediately.
What I liked: I love game theory and found the sections on the workplace the most enlightening. The inside/ outside option terminology was new to me, and is a great way to think about negotiations.
I also really like the format of the book, and the Game Recaps at the end of every chapter.
What I didn't like: N/A
Favorite quote: "Think of it this way: if you keep playing a losing game because that's what's familiar, you automatically forfeit every other game you could play instead." p. 52
What intrigued me: I heard Kimberly Adams interview Daryl Fairweather on NPR's Marketplace and bought the book immediately.
What I liked: I love game theory and found the sections on the workplace the most enlightening. The inside/ outside option terminology was new to me, and is a great way to think about negotiations.
I also really like the format of the book, and the Game Recaps at the end of every chapter.
What I didn't like: N/A
Favorite quote: "Think of it this way: if you keep playing a losing game because that's what's familiar, you automatically forfeit every other game you could play instead." p. 52
May 25, 2025
A cross between Freakenomics and Lean In. But Daryl Fairweather seems like she's trying to give more honest, practical advice than Sheryl Sandberg.
April 15, 2025
You know what I hate about self-help business books?
It's mostly nonsense. Personal anecdotes supported by survivorship bias. Most successful people don't really know how they got there. In exercise physiology, they teach athletes to have external focus. Don't think about your tendons and muscles, but rather keep your eye on the ball!
So, too, with the business books. Their advice may have worked for their experience. Yes, everybody works hard, but not everybody who worked hard succeeds. What about all the other failures who also did the same thing? The only way to really know is by careful, representative samples, and causal analytical methods. We need an economist.
Daryl Fairweather, the chief economist at Redfin and all-around great contributor to public economic discourse on the news and social media, writes a brief tour through economic principles and how they can help us navigate a complex and often unfair world.
She writes an engaging memoir. And unlike other business books, she pauses frequently to reflect on the peer-review research that can explain the game. For example, while we've made progress over the generations on equal treatment in the workplace for women, unfair inequalities still remain. Allyson Felix, a multiple Olympic gold medalist track athlete saw her Nike contract get cancelled due to her pregnancy. After taking Felix exposed this rejection to the press, Nike began offering maternity leave to its sponsored athletes by 2019. And this isn't just one anecdote. Lundborg, Plug, and Rasmussen (2017) using natural experimental evidence comparing IVF patients which resulted in a birth those who didn't find motherhood leaves negative, large, and long-lasting impacts on women's earnings.
Economics studies decision making, incentives, and how rules affect social interactions. Knowing these rules is crucial for your success. When do you reveal your preferences? When is it better to stay silent? How to choose a major, land interviews, purchase a house, balance family and career, handle workplace conflict, negotiate a raise, and all the other big life crossroads in our first decade of adulthood.
The book is effortless to read. It's peppered with pop culture analysis and nature documentary animal anecdotes. Like any good memoir, I keep rooting for more success for the protagonist, and am excited to see economic principles of negotiation help pay off the hard work.
Economics, as a science, generally desires universal prosperity. We don't have that. The game is often unfair for many. As Daryl writes, "Despite the numerous issues with the rules, playing to win does not make you complicit in the system's flaws." Once one does succeed and gain influence, "let your hate of the game fuel your desire for change."
It's mostly nonsense. Personal anecdotes supported by survivorship bias. Most successful people don't really know how they got there. In exercise physiology, they teach athletes to have external focus. Don't think about your tendons and muscles, but rather keep your eye on the ball!
So, too, with the business books. Their advice may have worked for their experience. Yes, everybody works hard, but not everybody who worked hard succeeds. What about all the other failures who also did the same thing? The only way to really know is by careful, representative samples, and causal analytical methods. We need an economist.
Daryl Fairweather, the chief economist at Redfin and all-around great contributor to public economic discourse on the news and social media, writes a brief tour through economic principles and how they can help us navigate a complex and often unfair world.
She writes an engaging memoir. And unlike other business books, she pauses frequently to reflect on the peer-review research that can explain the game. For example, while we've made progress over the generations on equal treatment in the workplace for women, unfair inequalities still remain. Allyson Felix, a multiple Olympic gold medalist track athlete saw her Nike contract get cancelled due to her pregnancy. After taking Felix exposed this rejection to the press, Nike began offering maternity leave to its sponsored athletes by 2019. And this isn't just one anecdote. Lundborg, Plug, and Rasmussen (2017) using natural experimental evidence comparing IVF patients which resulted in a birth those who didn't find motherhood leaves negative, large, and long-lasting impacts on women's earnings.
Economics studies decision making, incentives, and how rules affect social interactions. Knowing these rules is crucial for your success. When do you reveal your preferences? When is it better to stay silent? How to choose a major, land interviews, purchase a house, balance family and career, handle workplace conflict, negotiate a raise, and all the other big life crossroads in our first decade of adulthood.
The book is effortless to read. It's peppered with pop culture analysis and nature documentary animal anecdotes. Like any good memoir, I keep rooting for more success for the protagonist, and am excited to see economic principles of negotiation help pay off the hard work.
Economics, as a science, generally desires universal prosperity. We don't have that. The game is often unfair for many. As Daryl writes, "Despite the numerous issues with the rules, playing to win does not make you complicit in the system's flaws." Once one does succeed and gain influence, "let your hate of the game fuel your desire for change."
November 26, 2024
I really enjoyed Daryl Fairweather's book about applying economic game theory to major life decisions. It is clear that Dr. Fairweather was a student of Steven D. Levitt (Freakonomics Author). Her style is similar. It is easy to read, informative, and filled with interesting and relatable examples.
Dr. Fairweather points out that many business advice books are autobiographical, like Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. She shares what worked for her and how to do it yourself. But this book points out that what worked for Ms. Sandberg won't work for everyone all the time. So, I was a little surprised by the autobiographical nature of this book, but it works.
Hate the Game covers most of the concepts taught in an Econ 101 class, in a way that explains the principles but does not feel like a textbook at all. It explains how Dr. Fairweather used economics to make logical decisions about going to graduate school during the global recession, leaving the academic work and taking a consulting job, leaving that job and moving to Seattle, fighting for a promotion, buying a home, managing her marriage, having children, knowing your worth in the job market, selling a home, and optimizing your life.
The idea of thinking about each of these huge and emotional life decisions in a logical way that maximizing your well-being (utility) is an excellent tool for people looking for new ways of thinking. Each of these has an inside and outside option. Your inside option is what you are doing now (working in academia, being married, living in your current home) and the outside option is change (working in the private sector, getting divorce, moving). Looking at each life decision and evaluating the inside and outside options is a great skill.
This book uses economic principles to help understand the costs and benefits of both options. Everything for sunk-cost fallacy to references prices are included. It includes examples from Dr. Fairweather's personal life as well as pop culture references like why Destiny's Child broke up. Each of these examples explains the concept, but also makes the information stick- easy to remember and apply to your life.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC, this review is my honest opinion of the book.
Dr. Fairweather points out that many business advice books are autobiographical, like Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. She shares what worked for her and how to do it yourself. But this book points out that what worked for Ms. Sandberg won't work for everyone all the time. So, I was a little surprised by the autobiographical nature of this book, but it works.
Hate the Game covers most of the concepts taught in an Econ 101 class, in a way that explains the principles but does not feel like a textbook at all. It explains how Dr. Fairweather used economics to make logical decisions about going to graduate school during the global recession, leaving the academic work and taking a consulting job, leaving that job and moving to Seattle, fighting for a promotion, buying a home, managing her marriage, having children, knowing your worth in the job market, selling a home, and optimizing your life.
The idea of thinking about each of these huge and emotional life decisions in a logical way that maximizing your well-being (utility) is an excellent tool for people looking for new ways of thinking. Each of these has an inside and outside option. Your inside option is what you are doing now (working in academia, being married, living in your current home) and the outside option is change (working in the private sector, getting divorce, moving). Looking at each life decision and evaluating the inside and outside options is a great skill.
This book uses economic principles to help understand the costs and benefits of both options. Everything for sunk-cost fallacy to references prices are included. It includes examples from Dr. Fairweather's personal life as well as pop culture references like why Destiny's Child broke up. Each of these examples explains the concept, but also makes the information stick- easy to remember and apply to your life.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC, this review is my honest opinion of the book.
August 26, 2025
This book would have really benefited from more real world references to back up some of the statements. She works at Redfin, and some of the anecdotes, especially around housing, would have come off stronger with stats from real world examples. This could have dates the book but I think would have packed a better punch.
“As I attempted to navigate the early stages of my career, I sought advice from books like Lean In and Never Split the Difference, but they proved to be less useful than what I had learned in my economics courses. While these works provided some entertaining insights, they didn’t seem to reflect my specific situation: they treated success as a natural result of engagement, as if boldness and brashness were the keys to victory. In my experience (and experience of many others, I believe), it is simply not always the case… So, I stopped reading career books for advice and resigned myself to reading them for what they truly were: memoirs and personal essays written by authors who didn’t understand the economic context that led to their success.”
“A winner is unlikely to perceive the rules as unfair, because that would tarnish their own success. Most people don’t want to believe they have benefitted from unfair advantages. That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to the probabilities. When choosing games, you can use those probabilities to assess whether a game will be fair to you. And, if you are in a position of power with the ability to change the rules, looking at the statistics can help you overcome the urge to believe that merit alone determines success.”
“The housing market is like a game of musical chairs, where each round, the number of people playing keeps increasing but the number of chairs stays the same. This makes the game difficult for any player, but existing players have an advantage. Each round, anyone who already has a seat has the option to keep their seat. Homeowners have already won the game.”
“As I attempted to navigate the early stages of my career, I sought advice from books like Lean In and Never Split the Difference, but they proved to be less useful than what I had learned in my economics courses. While these works provided some entertaining insights, they didn’t seem to reflect my specific situation: they treated success as a natural result of engagement, as if boldness and brashness were the keys to victory. In my experience (and experience of many others, I believe), it is simply not always the case… So, I stopped reading career books for advice and resigned myself to reading them for what they truly were: memoirs and personal essays written by authors who didn’t understand the economic context that led to their success.”
“A winner is unlikely to perceive the rules as unfair, because that would tarnish their own success. Most people don’t want to believe they have benefitted from unfair advantages. That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to the probabilities. When choosing games, you can use those probabilities to assess whether a game will be fair to you. And, if you are in a position of power with the ability to change the rules, looking at the statistics can help you overcome the urge to believe that merit alone determines success.”
“The housing market is like a game of musical chairs, where each round, the number of people playing keeps increasing but the number of chairs stays the same. This makes the game difficult for any player, but existing players have an advantage. Each round, anyone who already has a seat has the option to keep their seat. Homeowners have already won the game.”
June 17, 2025
success depends significantly on picking games that offer opportunities for growth.
This starts with picking games that offer growth opportunities.
In specific situations, it means recognizing that better information is the key to winning negotiations and that overthinking actually weakens decisions, making careful, timely choices more effective.
This strategic understanding extends to personal life as well: marriage works best when partners proactively plan for change and stay committed, while navigating financial hardship often requires focusing on earning before saving.
Ultimately, smart players leverage this understanding to act effectively with what they have while building stronger options for the future.
This starts with picking games that offer growth opportunities.
In specific situations, it means recognizing that better information is the key to winning negotiations and that overthinking actually weakens decisions, making careful, timely choices more effective.
This strategic understanding extends to personal life as well: marriage works best when partners proactively plan for change and stay committed, while navigating financial hardship often requires focusing on earning before saving.
Ultimately, smart players leverage this understanding to act effectively with what they have while building stronger options for the future.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 11, 2025
Loved it! It reads like a memoir, sprinkled with behavioral economics concepts supported by anecdotes from pop culture and nature. What I loved about this book is how it makes economics game theory so accessible and easy to understand, but at the same time showing how mastery of game theory in our personal lives can have major real world implications. I personally loved the story of how she set out for a promotion as soon as she stepped foot at the Big Tech company, by immediately setting her eyes on the prize and devising a game plan by working backwards (called backward induction in game theory). I will try to apply that approach in my own personal/professional life :)
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September 23, 2025This was a fun and unexpected read. The book uses a casual tone with analogies involving the likes of Beyonce while blending
(1) a very candid memoir (even at points disclosing her salary and how much she sold her home for),
(2) a self-help/advice book (with practical career, home-buying, and relationship tips), and
(3) a pop science book on economics principles (eg, sunk costs, opportunity costs, and diminishing returns)
It helps that the author has an unusual and successful career path, having made bold moves along the way. I like how she uses her life experiences to explain economic concepts in an accessible way. Her references to games are fun too.
(1) a very candid memoir (even at points disclosing her salary and how much she sold her home for),
(2) a self-help/advice book (with practical career, home-buying, and relationship tips), and
(3) a pop science book on economics principles (eg, sunk costs, opportunity costs, and diminishing returns)
It helps that the author has an unusual and successful career path, having made bold moves along the way. I like how she uses her life experiences to explain economic concepts in an accessible way. Her references to games are fun too.
April 7, 2025
Really enjoyed this book! A self-help book that brings in economics… that’s new! As a financial analyst, I thought it was pretty cool and made a lot of sense - how to handle navigating the workplace, relationships, buying a house, keeping a family together. Enjoy the drive to action points at the end at each chapter.
Thanks University of Chicago Press and Net Galley for an advanced copy of this eARC!
Thanks University of Chicago Press and Net Galley for an advanced copy of this eARC!
July 8, 2025
This was more of a memoir of her personal life with economic concepts sprinkled in to explain the relevance of her lived experiences. The premise of the book was really exciting, and she's engaging on social media, but I found it hard to connect with the story on a personal level.
I think it could have been better focused on the economic aspects of decision making in the "life games" we play, and less on her personal experience playing very different games than most of her readers face.
I think it could have been better focused on the economic aspects of decision making in the "life games" we play, and less on her personal experience playing very different games than most of her readers face.
June 20, 2025
This book wasn't really for me. I understand most of the concepts that were presented, or at least picked them up faster than she described them. Furthermore, I think I'm at the stage of my life where love, work, and house prices aren't things I need to worry about; Fairweather's book was cheat codes for millennials by a millennial.
May 17, 2025
Good premise for a book but I was expecting something more in line with Freakonomics. Good reminder of statistics and probabilities especially when it comes to the different starting lines everyone has in society.
July 27, 2025
as someone who studied econ, most of the concepts/life advice were super basic and obvious to me. i mostly read this for the "memoir" type aspects which were kinda interesting but didn't go into that much detail
November 4, 2025
This offered the best, simple explanation of game theory and its application. There was also a dozen other economic principles but to use in Ms. Fairweather's personal life to practical effect. I was left wanting more, which is the hallmark of a great book.
November 6, 2025
most meh book read to date. Feels very trite- she is trying to have the same impact of Freakonomics but without any compelling stories. A weird mix of economics and life/career advice but fails to achieve either
May 17, 2025
I liked how the author tells one sequential story that weaves academic economic theory into real world examples. It’s no freakamonics but it’s of the same genre for sure.
June 20, 2025
Common sense. Didn't learn anything from this book.
July 8, 2025
Basic.
July 14, 2025
Transparent
July 26, 2025
Must read for all
September 17, 2025
Quick read. Personal stories mixed with economics studies. Lots of things to think about for someone without an econ degree.
October 15, 2025
I read this book as part of an economic book club. It's more like a memoir than a serious treatment of economic concepts.
October 27, 2025
Very informative book. I actually gained quite a bit of knowledge about economics that I did not get in college.
November 6, 2025
I found the book a bit shallow and too focused on personal experiences. I was expecting something more analytical, with a deeper look into each topic, but it mostly stays on the surface. Some ideas are interesting, but overall it felt more like a personal essay than a thoughtful exploration.
October 13, 2025
OMG SO GOOD plz find time to read soon and then review
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