What do you think?
Rate this book
What Is Happiness: A Monk's Guide to a Happy Life
FROM KOREA'S MILLION-COPY BESTSELLING AUTHOR
With profound wisdom and even greater warmth, Korea's best-loved monk Pomnyun Sunim shows us how to unlock inner happiness and become more resilient in the face of setbacks, small or large.
Pomnyum explains why we are all are prone to self-sabotage, and redirects that energy towards finding inner stillness and contentment. With gentleness and humour, he shows us that even when we are in the grip of events outside of our control, we can guide our reactions towards a state of wellbeing.
This transformative book has already touched countless lives and uplifted spirits in Korea, and this translated edition makes his insights available to a new audience of English readers.
With profound wisdom and even greater warmth, Korea's best-loved monk Pomnyun Sunim shows us how to unlock inner happiness and become more resilient in the face of setbacks, small or large.
Pomnyum explains why we are all are prone to self-sabotage, and redirects that energy towards finding inner stillness and contentment. With gentleness and humour, he shows us that even when we are in the grip of events outside of our control, we can guide our reactions towards a state of wellbeing.
This transformative book has already touched countless lives and uplifted spirits in Korea, and this translated edition makes his insights available to a new audience of English readers.
- GenresSelf HelpNonfiction
206 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 6, 2025
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
April 19, 2026
Good “coffee table book” to read in short chunks. I’d say take what works and leave the rest. Some good insights/nuggets but a bit overly simplistic in certain parts.
May 24, 2025
In today’s fast-paced world, even the simple act of slowing down can feel countercultural. We are constantly encouraged to chase success, productivity, and external validation, often at the expense of our inner peace. So it is refreshing to come across a book that invites readers to pause and reflect on what truly brings happiness.
Rooted in Buddhist philosophy, this book offers a quiet, thoughtful exploration of happiness, not as a grand achievement, but as a daily practice.
It is structured in five parts, each addressing themes like why life rarely goes as planned, how our habits shape our emotions, how to live alongside differing opinions, and the importance of rethinking what happiness means. It closes by encouraging us to simply aim for being a little happier today than we were yesterday.
Each section is broken into short, digestible chapters, making it easy to read in small moments. The tone is calm and encouraging, and many of the ideas feel both grounded and universal. I found myself pausing often, not because the content was heavy, but because it gently invited reflection.
That said, some of the advice might feel overly simplistic or even a bit tone-deaf, especially if you are navigating deep personal struggles or trauma. It's important to note that this is not a substitute for therapy or individualized support.
While the book speaks in general terms about emotional resilience and peace, it occasionally assumes a level of stability or privilege that not all readers will relate to.
Still, I appreciated its sincerity and quiet wisdom. For those familiar with Buddhist principles, or anyone seeking a gentle nudge toward living more mindfully, this book offers plenty to reflect on. Not every idea will resonate equally, but many of them are worth carrying into everyday life.
Review copy sent by Definitelybooks #pansing.
Rooted in Buddhist philosophy, this book offers a quiet, thoughtful exploration of happiness, not as a grand achievement, but as a daily practice.
It is structured in five parts, each addressing themes like why life rarely goes as planned, how our habits shape our emotions, how to live alongside differing opinions, and the importance of rethinking what happiness means. It closes by encouraging us to simply aim for being a little happier today than we were yesterday.
Each section is broken into short, digestible chapters, making it easy to read in small moments. The tone is calm and encouraging, and many of the ideas feel both grounded and universal. I found myself pausing often, not because the content was heavy, but because it gently invited reflection.
That said, some of the advice might feel overly simplistic or even a bit tone-deaf, especially if you are navigating deep personal struggles or trauma. It's important to note that this is not a substitute for therapy or individualized support.
While the book speaks in general terms about emotional resilience and peace, it occasionally assumes a level of stability or privilege that not all readers will relate to.
Still, I appreciated its sincerity and quiet wisdom. For those familiar with Buddhist principles, or anyone seeking a gentle nudge toward living more mindfully, this book offers plenty to reflect on. Not every idea will resonate equally, but many of them are worth carrying into everyday life.
Review copy sent by Definitelybooks #pansing.
June 9, 2026
Happiness begins with accepting yourself as you are, acknowledging your current state and finding a way to be positive about it.
Feeling insecure or inferior is an inevitable result of delusions of grandeur. Your conceit and false perceptions about your life as overly significant will in fact make you miserable. There is no special meaning to existence.
All beings, including human beings, have no special meaning. Meaning is simply conjured by human consciousness.
The fact is that you are not all that special, and neither are others. If you feel dissatisfied with others because they don't meet your standards, the problem is not theirs but yours. The problem is in fact your level of expectation. You need to escape the prison created by your false sense of self. Instead of making a resolution to be a certain way, become aware that regrets and self-blaming come from an illusory sense of self. This awareness is the first step to freeing yourself. Just become aware of yourself, that's all. Don't hate yourself. If you hate yourself for making mistakes, you have foolishly defined yourself as someone who must not ever make any mistakes. Forgive yourself for making mistakes, just as you should forgive others for making mistakes.
We are just like the grass and the ants. We are both insignificant and also precious. Once we truly understand and accept this, we can live peacefully without caring about what others think of us, and without interfering in the lives of others.
Most of the time, we are not aware of the present moment. When we spend our days thinking about the past, or worrying about the future, we fail to be fully awake to the present. Happiness will not materialize on its own. When you focus on the present and do your best, these moments accumulate, and they can then continue to become your happy future.
A fact or circumstance becomes a problem only when you believe it to be a problem. Differences in appearance are just differences. They're not problems in and of themselves. People with superiority or inferiority complexes will similarly accept the standards of others in different aspects of their lives. Feeling superior or inferior is a psychological phenomenon that occurs when people compare their lives with the lives of others as a tool to measure what they consider their own 'value' to be, instead of becoming the masters of their own lives. The feelings of superiority and inferiority have the same root.
Accepting and understanding that the other person is different from you is the most fundamental mindset to have when establishing relationships. If you can remember these two perspectives as you are forming a relationship, you will be equipped to prevent the majority of potential conflicts.
There's an old Korean saying that goes: People do the work, and the heavens do the rest." This means that you should do your best without obsessing too much about the results. Even if you are able to think this way, it's not easy to change your long-standing habit of seeking praise. The greater the desire to perform well, the greater the disappointment when you are not given approval. Try to let go of the desire to do well, and just keep doing your work well with a light hearr. Then, you will grad. ually see an improvement in your abilities.
Trying to impose your views on other people's lives only creates unnecessary tension and trouble for yourself. Whether your focus is your parents, partner, friends, siblings or children, once you start meddling in their lives, your own life will become exhausting. If you feel drained from helping others, it means that your desire to interfere in other peoples lives has outstripped your ability to actually provide them with help. This is a sign that you need to take a step back and let everyone live their own lives. Rather than giving unsolicited assistance, wait until it is requested, and then provide help in the best way you can. That way, you will be helpful to others and will enjoy a more leisurely life yourself.
It's extremely difficult to change someone. Adjusting yourself to the other person is the quickest and least painful solution to most issues. If you seek to change someone despite knowing that people don't change easily, you will need a lot of affection and wisdom.
Instead of forcefully trying to change someone who doesn't want to be changed, you need to learn how to encourage change with wisdom and gentlesness. If you feel unhappy in your relationship with others, try changing your point of view. Notice their good points, rather than their shortcomings. When you make an effort to view others in a positive way, you will notice more positive things about them for which you can be thankful, and you will be one step closer to happiness.
True success starts with knowing that each moment of your life is valuable and precious. No matter what situation you're in, you should be able to enjoy your life under the given circumstances. So, you need to constantly check whether you are happy in the present moment. If we can maintain such a perspective, we can lead a life that was successful yesterday, is successful today, and will be successful tomorrow.
You can live your life as you please in accordance with your values. However, because we live in a world full of other people, there are a few rules that we should adhere to:
* First, people can live their lives as they see fit, but no one has the freedom to cause harm to another one should not harm or kill others.
* Second, people have the right to pursue their own interests, but they don't have the right to infringe on other people's interests. One should not extort valuables or steal from others.
* Third, people have the right to love and to be happy, but they don't have the right to harass others. One should not sexually abuse, intimidate or assault others.
* Fourth, people have the right to speak freely, but they do not have the right to hurt others with words. One should not swear or lie.
* Fifth, people have the right to drink alcohol but not to get drunk and distress others. Therefore, one should not get intoxicated.
One thing you should keep in mind is that whatever you do, instead of doing it solely for the benefit of society and/or for other people, you should do it because it's rewarding and fun for you. Then, you will be happy regardless of the outcome. If you succeed, you'll feel happy that you were successful. But if you don't, you will still feel happy because you had fun and maybe even learned something in the process.
Rather than congratulating ourselves on the sacrifices we make for others, it is preferable to understand that helping others is actually a route to helping ourselves. This concept can be expressed with the Buddhist term Jari-ita, which means that benefiting oneself is the same as benefiting others.
True happiness begins when you are freed from obsessing about money. Instead of focusing on how much money you can possibly make, you should base your decisions on deciding where your efforts will be the most valuable. It is worthwhile to realize your dreams and ideals even if you have to spend your own money to do so. After all, true happiness lies in doing something fun and rewarding.
No matter what troubles you may face, you have the right to be happy. Use this as a guiding principle of your life. Don't hand over responsibility for your life's happiness to your partner or children, or even to a deity. Please remember that you are the one who has control over your happiness and unhappiness in your life. Here is the Buddha's teaching on this topic: I am the one who creates my own happiness. I am the one who creates my own unhappiness. Nobody creates my happiness or unhappiness except for me.
When, instead of focusing on personal gain and success, we live our lives with the aim of being a person who is helpful to others and is needed in the world, we ourselves become happy while also benefiting the world. This is the way we can exercise our right to be happy.
Feeling insecure or inferior is an inevitable result of delusions of grandeur. Your conceit and false perceptions about your life as overly significant will in fact make you miserable. There is no special meaning to existence.
All beings, including human beings, have no special meaning. Meaning is simply conjured by human consciousness.
The fact is that you are not all that special, and neither are others. If you feel dissatisfied with others because they don't meet your standards, the problem is not theirs but yours. The problem is in fact your level of expectation. You need to escape the prison created by your false sense of self. Instead of making a resolution to be a certain way, become aware that regrets and self-blaming come from an illusory sense of self. This awareness is the first step to freeing yourself. Just become aware of yourself, that's all. Don't hate yourself. If you hate yourself for making mistakes, you have foolishly defined yourself as someone who must not ever make any mistakes. Forgive yourself for making mistakes, just as you should forgive others for making mistakes.
We are just like the grass and the ants. We are both insignificant and also precious. Once we truly understand and accept this, we can live peacefully without caring about what others think of us, and without interfering in the lives of others.
Most of the time, we are not aware of the present moment. When we spend our days thinking about the past, or worrying about the future, we fail to be fully awake to the present. Happiness will not materialize on its own. When you focus on the present and do your best, these moments accumulate, and they can then continue to become your happy future.
A fact or circumstance becomes a problem only when you believe it to be a problem. Differences in appearance are just differences. They're not problems in and of themselves. People with superiority or inferiority complexes will similarly accept the standards of others in different aspects of their lives. Feeling superior or inferior is a psychological phenomenon that occurs when people compare their lives with the lives of others as a tool to measure what they consider their own 'value' to be, instead of becoming the masters of their own lives. The feelings of superiority and inferiority have the same root.
Accepting and understanding that the other person is different from you is the most fundamental mindset to have when establishing relationships. If you can remember these two perspectives as you are forming a relationship, you will be equipped to prevent the majority of potential conflicts.
There's an old Korean saying that goes: People do the work, and the heavens do the rest." This means that you should do your best without obsessing too much about the results. Even if you are able to think this way, it's not easy to change your long-standing habit of seeking praise. The greater the desire to perform well, the greater the disappointment when you are not given approval. Try to let go of the desire to do well, and just keep doing your work well with a light hearr. Then, you will grad. ually see an improvement in your abilities.
Trying to impose your views on other people's lives only creates unnecessary tension and trouble for yourself. Whether your focus is your parents, partner, friends, siblings or children, once you start meddling in their lives, your own life will become exhausting. If you feel drained from helping others, it means that your desire to interfere in other peoples lives has outstripped your ability to actually provide them with help. This is a sign that you need to take a step back and let everyone live their own lives. Rather than giving unsolicited assistance, wait until it is requested, and then provide help in the best way you can. That way, you will be helpful to others and will enjoy a more leisurely life yourself.
It's extremely difficult to change someone. Adjusting yourself to the other person is the quickest and least painful solution to most issues. If you seek to change someone despite knowing that people don't change easily, you will need a lot of affection and wisdom.
Instead of forcefully trying to change someone who doesn't want to be changed, you need to learn how to encourage change with wisdom and gentlesness. If you feel unhappy in your relationship with others, try changing your point of view. Notice their good points, rather than their shortcomings. When you make an effort to view others in a positive way, you will notice more positive things about them for which you can be thankful, and you will be one step closer to happiness.
True success starts with knowing that each moment of your life is valuable and precious. No matter what situation you're in, you should be able to enjoy your life under the given circumstances. So, you need to constantly check whether you are happy in the present moment. If we can maintain such a perspective, we can lead a life that was successful yesterday, is successful today, and will be successful tomorrow.
You can live your life as you please in accordance with your values. However, because we live in a world full of other people, there are a few rules that we should adhere to:
* First, people can live their lives as they see fit, but no one has the freedom to cause harm to another one should not harm or kill others.
* Second, people have the right to pursue their own interests, but they don't have the right to infringe on other people's interests. One should not extort valuables or steal from others.
* Third, people have the right to love and to be happy, but they don't have the right to harass others. One should not sexually abuse, intimidate or assault others.
* Fourth, people have the right to speak freely, but they do not have the right to hurt others with words. One should not swear or lie.
* Fifth, people have the right to drink alcohol but not to get drunk and distress others. Therefore, one should not get intoxicated.
One thing you should keep in mind is that whatever you do, instead of doing it solely for the benefit of society and/or for other people, you should do it because it's rewarding and fun for you. Then, you will be happy regardless of the outcome. If you succeed, you'll feel happy that you were successful. But if you don't, you will still feel happy because you had fun and maybe even learned something in the process.
Rather than congratulating ourselves on the sacrifices we make for others, it is preferable to understand that helping others is actually a route to helping ourselves. This concept can be expressed with the Buddhist term Jari-ita, which means that benefiting oneself is the same as benefiting others.
True happiness begins when you are freed from obsessing about money. Instead of focusing on how much money you can possibly make, you should base your decisions on deciding where your efforts will be the most valuable. It is worthwhile to realize your dreams and ideals even if you have to spend your own money to do so. After all, true happiness lies in doing something fun and rewarding.
No matter what troubles you may face, you have the right to be happy. Use this as a guiding principle of your life. Don't hand over responsibility for your life's happiness to your partner or children, or even to a deity. Please remember that you are the one who has control over your happiness and unhappiness in your life. Here is the Buddha's teaching on this topic: I am the one who creates my own happiness. I am the one who creates my own unhappiness. Nobody creates my happiness or unhappiness except for me.
When, instead of focusing on personal gain and success, we live our lives with the aim of being a person who is helpful to others and is needed in the world, we ourselves become happy while also benefiting the world. This is the way we can exercise our right to be happy.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 10, 2025
Ven. Pomnyun Sunim, a revered Buddhist monk, Zen teacher and an advocate for social change offers a profound exploration of inner fulfillment in a world often obsessed with external validation. The book challenges to prioritize passion and purpose over societal markers of success thereby urging a shift from chasing wealth or status to embracing authenticity.
Central to Sunim’s philosophy is the notion of the “false self”, a rigid self-image we cling to which breeds insecurity or arrogance. By disentangling from this illusion, he argues we uncover a more genuine existence which is free from shame or self-deception.
Sunim delves into the ephemeral nature of emotions and their sudden emergence to sparks from flint. He encourages to interrogate the roots of feelings like anger or fear through mindful reflection. This critical self-awareness can dissolve destructive patterns replacing reactive outbursts or suppression with calm acceptance. Equally compelling is his discussion on habits. By consciously cultivating new behaviours we reshape our subconscious thereby altering not only daily routines but our life’s trajectory.
Structured into five sections, the book addresses why life often defies expectations, how habits shape emotions, navigating interpersonal conflicts, redefining joy and actionable steps to nurture happiness. Whether for a student grappling with existential doubts, a professional stifled by routine or a retiree seeking purpose, Sunim’s insights resonate universally.
Central to Sunim’s philosophy is the notion of the “false self”, a rigid self-image we cling to which breeds insecurity or arrogance. By disentangling from this illusion, he argues we uncover a more genuine existence which is free from shame or self-deception.
Sunim delves into the ephemeral nature of emotions and their sudden emergence to sparks from flint. He encourages to interrogate the roots of feelings like anger or fear through mindful reflection. This critical self-awareness can dissolve destructive patterns replacing reactive outbursts or suppression with calm acceptance. Equally compelling is his discussion on habits. By consciously cultivating new behaviours we reshape our subconscious thereby altering not only daily routines but our life’s trajectory.
Structured into five sections, the book addresses why life often defies expectations, how habits shape emotions, navigating interpersonal conflicts, redefining joy and actionable steps to nurture happiness. Whether for a student grappling with existential doubts, a professional stifled by routine or a retiree seeking purpose, Sunim’s insights resonate universally.
May 18, 2025
decent read to clear your mind n get a perspective on basics.
May 15, 2026
Goodness. How do I summarise this book into a single review?
This was an extremely well written book that asks, among other questions, what is happiness? A subjective and hard question to answer. The author walks through several questions, personal examples, and thoughts that challenge the reader on previous ideas. I took my time with this book in a way that I haven't done with any other. I felt that I needed to do this justice. I found myself reflecting and thinking on the ideas of this book as I was going through my everyday life. While I didn't get to read the whole book before it archived, I don't feel that I have missed anything.
This is a book that grounded me from the very beginning and one that I would be honored to have on my physical shelf.
I can't summarise this in a review because the book is so deeply personal to every reader. Buy it for yourself and let it sit with you. Perhaps you will find some part of the answer to the question. What Is Happiness
I appreciate Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the ARC of this book and I look forward to getting back to it.
This was an extremely well written book that asks, among other questions, what is happiness? A subjective and hard question to answer. The author walks through several questions, personal examples, and thoughts that challenge the reader on previous ideas. I took my time with this book in a way that I haven't done with any other. I felt that I needed to do this justice. I found myself reflecting and thinking on the ideas of this book as I was going through my everyday life. While I didn't get to read the whole book before it archived, I don't feel that I have missed anything.
This is a book that grounded me from the very beginning and one that I would be honored to have on my physical shelf.
I can't summarise this in a review because the book is so deeply personal to every reader. Buy it for yourself and let it sit with you. Perhaps you will find some part of the answer to the question. What Is Happiness
I appreciate Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the ARC of this book and I look forward to getting back to it.
March 10, 2026
One of these books that might do better with a re-read, and then another at different points in a person's life. Why I say this is because the writing, the advice, feels very...trite, for lack of a better word. It's very generic, skimming the surface (for example, 'let it go'...but what does this even mean, in itself?) This is why reading this at various points of life might yield a different answer, a solution, finally having the advice make sense... Though this book reads easily, it's not one that's easily grasped (as I suppose life & its wisdom are supposed to be... Maybe?) As such, go in with an open mind, but be prepared not to come out with actionable directions if that's what you're looking for. It's more inviting of reflection than anything else.
April 5, 2025
I'm still processing my thoughts on this book, but it definitely struck a chord. The author brilliantly articulated the everyday emotional battles with anger, anxiety, and disappointment that many of us face, and I particularly appreciated their candid struggle with practicing kindness in a sometimes unkind world. However, I found myself questioning some of the starkly presented examples, feeling that real-life situations often demand more than a black-and-white approach. Despite this, the book ultimately provided a powerful nudge to re-examine my perspective and actively seek happiness in a less-than-perfect world.
February 23, 2026
If you’re listening to the audio book, do yourself a favour and just listen to the last 7.5 minutes.
Disclaimer that this is my first book I’ve ever read on Buddhism, but it just doesn’t feel practical. A whole section felt like it was just ‘are you sad? don’t be. Let it go’ without any real guidance on how. Another section felt like advising to just let the world happen around you: ‘if you never want to win, you can never lose’, which is technically right but doesn’t encourage determination or drive. The only good message I got was ‘difficulties won’t always make you unhappy, especially if you reframe them as challenges to overcome’.
Disclaimer that this is my first book I’ve ever read on Buddhism, but it just doesn’t feel practical. A whole section felt like it was just ‘are you sad? don’t be. Let it go’ without any real guidance on how. Another section felt like advising to just let the world happen around you: ‘if you never want to win, you can never lose’, which is technically right but doesn’t encourage determination or drive. The only good message I got was ‘difficulties won’t always make you unhappy, especially if you reframe them as challenges to overcome’.
October 20, 2025
This is a must read for anyone struggling with direction and everyday anxiety. This book was much deeper and profound than I originally expected. Pomnyun Sunim encourages us to ask the hard questions and look within ourselves to truly move forward. The message is so simple yet profound and I think many can benefit from his teachings in everyday life.
I received an ARC in exchange for my honest opinion.
I received an ARC in exchange for my honest opinion.
December 13, 2025
Buddhist monk Pomnyun Sunim provides coherent and useful advice on dealing with our daily anxiety, insecurity, anger, and discouragement to consistently find our inner truth and happiness.
[I received an advanced reader copy via Netgalley.]
[I received an advanced reader copy via Netgalley.]
Did Not Finish
March 16, 2026Did not finish this. Sometimes humans don’t finish too.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews