From Self-Care to We-Care: The New Science of Mindful Boundaries and Caring from an Undivided Heart

by Jordan Quaglia

Learn to harmonize self-care with caring for others through we-care, a science-based approach designed to enhance personal and social well-being, promote healthy boundaries, and offer a path of healing and transformation.

Too many of us are familiar with the burnout that can come from overextending ourselves for others. Self-care is often promoted as the solution to this imbalance, but there are growing concerns that an overemphasis on self-care is exacerbating interpersonal challenges, fraying the fabric of our communities, and diminishing our responsiveness to broader social issues. In a world where time can feel increasingly scarce, we find ourselves in a dilemma: should we prioritize ourselves or others? Yet as psychologist and compassion scientist Jordan Quaglia demonstrates, this choice is based on a false dichotomy. The emerging science and practice of we-care reframes the very concept of care as a social force that includes both self and other.

Through personal stories, guided inquiries, practical social exercises, and insights from cutting-edge neuroscience, Quaglia offers a framework and toolset designed to help you find a more balanced way to express your innate sense of compassion. This holistic approach sparks transformative changes across your health, relationships, and work—uplifting yourself and others while supporting a stronger, more connected society for us all.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology

288 pages, Paperback

Published May 6, 2025

Reviews

[Virginia · Rating 5 out of 5]

From Self-Care to We-Care is a timely and important read. In a cultural landscape crowded with books championing self-care, Quaglia’s work stands out by offering a crucial reorientation: emphasizing the need to extend compassion beyond oneself and toward others. Importantly, it offers a framework that challenges the either-or mindset that care must be directed either toward the self or others—instead, Quaglia emphasizes the mutual benefit of mindful care. Backed by research, the book maintains a light, approachable tone, filled with relatable examples and useful practices. As a Doctor of physical therapy, I found the book’s distinction between empathy and compassion both enlightening and essential. Its insights have the potential to reduce burnout among healthcare workers and this book deserves a place in clinical curriculum. Adding the term 'we-care' to my vocabulary has not only helped me recognize moments in daily life where I’ve already embodied it, but also brought to my awareness opportunities for its application that I may have otherwise missed. In an era where the weight of current events and widespread need can feel overwhelming, From Self-Care to We-Care provides simple, actionable steps that anyone can take to make a positive impact by extending kindness both to themselves and to others. Grab a copy for yourself—and maybe one for a friend—so you can explore the idea of We-care together.

[Clarissa Cigrand · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mental health counselor and person devoted to my own growth journey, I found this book utterly invaluable-- in supporting both myself and my clients in the oftentimes precarious path of learning how to balance caring for others while not depleting oneself in the process. Simply stated this book has transformed me. As someone who had a hard time saying no, where my own needs oftentimes came last, and where I was constantly on giving mode without really thinking about sustainability, this book really helped me step outside of these limiting orientations. As I read this book, I was floored to learn that setting boundaries can actually strengthen relationships, that sourcing from compassion can keep me from getting empathically drained, and that is possible to care for a "we" when facing relationship dilemmas. This booked helped me break out of the either/or mindset that was restricting my sense of what was possible. Dr. Quaglia's work is both scientific and accessible and he backs up his claims with time tested wisdom and research. I cannot help but reflect on all of my clients from a We-Care lens and this book has truly transformed my own clinical practice, in addition to my personal life. If you're wondering if you should buy this book, do it! You won't regret it. And it could just change your life and the lives of those around you.

[Sally Maslansky · Rating 5 out of 5]

A much needed refreshing scientific way to think about self care in this world today....

Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2025

"From Self-Care to We-Care" by Jordan Quaglia, PhD, is a powerful reimagining of what it means to care - inwardly and outwardly. With clarity and compassion, Quaglia shows how the common divide between self-care and caring for others is a false one. Drawing on science, personal stories, and practical tools, he introduces a transformative framework for “we-care” that promotes well-being, resilience, and connection. This is a timely, wise, and deeply humane guide for anyone seeking to thrive while helping build a more compassionate world. Sally Maslansky, LMFT, author of the upcoming memoir “A Brilliant Adaptation: How Dissociative Identity Disorder and the Therapeutic Bond Saved Me” - released 1/2/26.

[Paul Bookman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful message and much needed for our time. Science meets the heart here and helps us step out of the self vs other paradigm of care and compassion and into a more nuanced understanding of our interwoven experience.

Deep but accessible!
A wonderful resource for meditators, therapists, psychologists and any interested in making our world a more caring place 💖

[Stacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Appreciated the many scenarios, reflection and practical exercises, and opportunities to see how more of the myriad "conflicts" I perceive between self- and other- care can become integrated mutually beneficial joy.

[Francis Idris · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heartfelt piece of work that deserves more attention. Glad I picked this up.