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If I Could Go Back
An achingly compassionate and beautifully empathetic novel exploring the intersections of race, mental health, and the meaning of family—perfect for fans of Robin Benway’s Far from the Tree and Jas Hammonds’ We Deserve Monuments.
For Aaliyah Campbell, family is everything. Her cousin Ivy is her best friend and track co-star, and Grandpa Joe is her rock. He may be crotchety and dramatic, but he’s raised Aaliyah since she was a toddler. Still, Aaliyah can’t stop thinking about what’s missing—her parents.
When Aaliyah secretly contacts her mom, she risks upsetting the family who’s always been there. But Grandpa Joe refuses to explain why her parents gave her up, and without answers, Aaliyah cannot silence the anxious voice telling her she’s never been good enough.
Surprisingly, it isn’t Aaliyah’s mom, but her dad, Quincy, who steps up. Quincy turns out to be immature but surprisingly fun to hang out with. And when the rest of the family finds out they’re in contact, old secrets will finally be forced into the light.
Aaliyah Campbell is a champion for young Black girls coping with anxiety and depression, and a voice for all teens navigating the messy process of learning how to advocate for ones’ self. Through honest storytelling and a voice that oozes humor and heart, Briana Johnson’s memorable debut explores sensitive topics with authenticity and compassion.
For Aaliyah Campbell, family is everything. Her cousin Ivy is her best friend and track co-star, and Grandpa Joe is her rock. He may be crotchety and dramatic, but he’s raised Aaliyah since she was a toddler. Still, Aaliyah can’t stop thinking about what’s missing—her parents.
When Aaliyah secretly contacts her mom, she risks upsetting the family who’s always been there. But Grandpa Joe refuses to explain why her parents gave her up, and without answers, Aaliyah cannot silence the anxious voice telling her she’s never been good enough.
Surprisingly, it isn’t Aaliyah’s mom, but her dad, Quincy, who steps up. Quincy turns out to be immature but surprisingly fun to hang out with. And when the rest of the family finds out they’re in contact, old secrets will finally be forced into the light.
Aaliyah Campbell is a champion for young Black girls coping with anxiety and depression, and a voice for all teens navigating the messy process of learning how to advocate for ones’ self. Through honest storytelling and a voice that oozes humor and heart, Briana Johnson’s memorable debut explores sensitive topics with authenticity and compassion.
368 pages, Hardcover
Published May 6, 2025
10 people are currently reading
2881 people want to read
About the author
Briana Johnson
1 book21 followersBriana Johnson is a young adult author and Chicago native. She spent her twenties living everywhere except Chicago but has returned to the Windy City because everywhere else is too expensive. She currently lives on the North Side with her sister. A graduate of the University of Maryland-Global Campus with a degree in Computer Network and Cybersecurity, Briana travels the U.S. as a Systems Analyst. When she isn’t writing or working, she enjoys seeing all the beauty the world has to offer. If I Could Go Back is her debut novel. You can find more at briana-johnson.com.
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
May 24, 2025
2025 reads: 126/300
i received a finished copy from the publisher as part of their influencer program. this did not affect my rating.
content warnings: abusive relationship, stalking, parent abandonment, drug use (weed), death of grandparent (past), grief, hospitalized grandparent, anxiety
for aaliyah campbell, family is everything. her grandpa joe raised her, and her cousin ivy is her best friend. still, she feels like something is missing, which leads to her reaching out to her birth mother, a woman she’s never met. doing this risks her relationships with the family she does have, but aaliyah wants answers. as she grows closer to her birth parents, though, old secrets come to light, threatening aaliyah’s old and new relationships.
i was interested in this book because it sounded emotional, and it definitely delivered on that front. i loved getting to know aaliyah. she’s a high school senior with anxiety, which i could definitely relate to. she had wonderful growth throughout the book, and reading about her finding her own worth was lovely. i also liked how close she was with her cousin, though their relationship did get rocky. i’d highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a coming-of-age novel dealing with primary themes of family and mental health. i can’t wait for whatever’s next from briana johnson!
i received a finished copy from the publisher as part of their influencer program. this did not affect my rating.
content warnings: abusive relationship, stalking, parent abandonment, drug use (weed), death of grandparent (past), grief, hospitalized grandparent, anxiety
for aaliyah campbell, family is everything. her grandpa joe raised her, and her cousin ivy is her best friend. still, she feels like something is missing, which leads to her reaching out to her birth mother, a woman she’s never met. doing this risks her relationships with the family she does have, but aaliyah wants answers. as she grows closer to her birth parents, though, old secrets come to light, threatening aaliyah’s old and new relationships.
i was interested in this book because it sounded emotional, and it definitely delivered on that front. i loved getting to know aaliyah. she’s a high school senior with anxiety, which i could definitely relate to. she had wonderful growth throughout the book, and reading about her finding her own worth was lovely. i also liked how close she was with her cousin, though their relationship did get rocky. i’d highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a coming-of-age novel dealing with primary themes of family and mental health. i can’t wait for whatever’s next from briana johnson!
May 3, 2025
Thank you for the free book @peachtreeteen!
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My 💭:
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I loved accurate portrayal when it comes to anxiety and depression. The family dynamics were so relatable as well. There was a lot of learning, unlearning, and I loved how the communication between the family members got better as the book went on. As far as Aaliyah parents go they are just trash, but I don’t blame her for wanting to know them and see if they could have a relationship now that she’s older. Her cousin Ivy did have me ready to throw hands at one point because when you come from a stable family you will never understand what it’s like to have that missing puzzle piece or pieces. This is a solid debut novel by Briana Johnson and I look forward to reading more books in the future by them. I switched between the audiobook as well and Ashley J. Hobbs has made it to my favorite narrator list! Definitely recommend reading with your eyes and ears!
⠀
My 💭:
⠀
I loved accurate portrayal when it comes to anxiety and depression. The family dynamics were so relatable as well. There was a lot of learning, unlearning, and I loved how the communication between the family members got better as the book went on. As far as Aaliyah parents go they are just trash, but I don’t blame her for wanting to know them and see if they could have a relationship now that she’s older. Her cousin Ivy did have me ready to throw hands at one point because when you come from a stable family you will never understand what it’s like to have that missing puzzle piece or pieces. This is a solid debut novel by Briana Johnson and I look forward to reading more books in the future by them. I switched between the audiobook as well and Ashley J. Hobbs has made it to my favorite narrator list! Definitely recommend reading with your eyes and ears!
June 29, 2025
4.25⭐️
A delightfully emotional book and the characters stole my heart! If I Could Go Back by Briana Johnson explores family relationships, mental health, and the traumatic effects of family secrets. Aaliyah Campbell, raised by her grandparents, has grown up in a loving environment and cherishes her family. Aaliyah absolutely adores her lovingly grouchy grandfather, Grandpa Joe and her closest friend and cousin, Ivy. She has always longed for her parent’s love and wonders why they have never been present in her life. Aaliyah secretly finds her mother on Facebook and reaches out to her to find out why she was never a part of her life. If I Could Go Back effectively portrays how family secrets and deception can significantly damage relationships and create division within the family unit. The realistic and accurate representation of anxiety and depression throughout this novel was also quite remarkable. If you enjoy reading emotional, coming-of-age stories I highly recommend this book.
A delightfully emotional book and the characters stole my heart! If I Could Go Back by Briana Johnson explores family relationships, mental health, and the traumatic effects of family secrets. Aaliyah Campbell, raised by her grandparents, has grown up in a loving environment and cherishes her family. Aaliyah absolutely adores her lovingly grouchy grandfather, Grandpa Joe and her closest friend and cousin, Ivy. She has always longed for her parent’s love and wonders why they have never been present in her life. Aaliyah secretly finds her mother on Facebook and reaches out to her to find out why she was never a part of her life. If I Could Go Back effectively portrays how family secrets and deception can significantly damage relationships and create division within the family unit. The realistic and accurate representation of anxiety and depression throughout this novel was also quite remarkable. If you enjoy reading emotional, coming-of-age stories I highly recommend this book.
January 26, 2025
Aaliyah has been raised by Grandpa Joe since she was born, and now that she's eighteen, she has a plan to reach her birth mother, Lena—even when it's against Grandpa Joe's wishes or her cousin Ivy's and overall her family's. She fears disappointment, but much to her surprise her father, Quincy, shows up. And when Grandpa Joe's health worsens and has to be treated intensively, Aaliyah uses the opportunity to connect with parents she never met before. Will things go according to plan? Is there something Grandpa Joe hides from her? What about Tommy, a guy who Grandpa Joe disapproves like he disapproved Quincy years ago? Will Aaliyah find what she longs for so long?
I did expect If I Could Go Back to be an emotional read, but what surprised me is its profound, relatable conclusion. Not only Aaliyah's teenage voice sounds realistic, the way she (and other characters) acts also represents how teenagers behave and how their learning moment happens, and honestly I found it beautiful. The nuances in Lena, Quincy, and Grandpa Joe's characters as adults in Aaliyah's life give extra dimension to Aaliyah herself. There are so many things that she needs to unlearn and relearn regarding to her family's condition and her desire to be in a "complete" family unit. The dynamics among Aaliyah, Ivy, and their friend Jen are believably natural. The dialogue is super fun (even when the characters argue) that I finished the book in a day.
To be frank even though I understand Aaliyah and Tommy's situationship-relationship, I didn't really feel for it, maybe because I'm too old (? LOL) or I need more backstory of them to see why they are that way. BUT Tommy's love life situation is something that must be brought to light, and I'm glad I found it here. Just recently I read a news with the same case and there are still people who blame the guy for being soft, mushy, or a coward. This can be one way to say that it's wrong.
If I Could Go Back is perfect for realistic YA novel fans who like to read stories with focus on family, mental health representation, and characters that are suitable to their age.
Thank you to NetGalley and Peachtree Teen for providing a digital ARC of this book. Opinions expressed here are my own.
I did expect If I Could Go Back to be an emotional read, but what surprised me is its profound, relatable conclusion. Not only Aaliyah's teenage voice sounds realistic, the way she (and other characters) acts also represents how teenagers behave and how their learning moment happens, and honestly I found it beautiful. The nuances in Lena, Quincy, and Grandpa Joe's characters as adults in Aaliyah's life give extra dimension to Aaliyah herself. There are so many things that she needs to unlearn and relearn regarding to her family's condition and her desire to be in a "complete" family unit. The dynamics among Aaliyah, Ivy, and their friend Jen are believably natural. The dialogue is super fun (even when the characters argue) that I finished the book in a day.
To be frank even though I understand Aaliyah and Tommy's situationship-relationship, I didn't really feel for it, maybe because I'm too old (? LOL) or I need more backstory of them to see why they are that way. BUT Tommy's love life situation is something that must be brought to light, and I'm glad I found it here. Just recently I read a news with the same case and there are still people who blame the guy for being soft, mushy, or a coward. This can be one way to say that it's wrong.
If I Could Go Back is perfect for realistic YA novel fans who like to read stories with focus on family, mental health representation, and characters that are suitable to their age.
Thank you to NetGalley and Peachtree Teen for providing a digital ARC of this book. Opinions expressed here are my own.
May 26, 2025
This book really said hey, let’s break your heart while you read it. But it also was like, really healing in a way? Hard to explain, but I definitely recommend it. Best friends, family you choose, making tough decisions, love, health issues, broken hearts, and more. The audio was really good!
May 4, 2025
If I Could Go Back by Briana Johnson. Thanks to @peachtreeteen for the gifted copy ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Family is everything to Aaliyah. Her grandfather may be grumpy but he raised her and she’ll obey him until she secretly contacts her birth mother, upsetting her family.
This is especially a great story for young adults who may be going through the same issues that the main character, Aaliyah, is going through (parent abandonment, caring for an elderly family member, graduating high school and all the decisions that come with it, and anxiety. It was an easy and fast. I definitely recommend for teenagers and adults that enjoy YA.
“I’d rather be a little unhappy than live my life without my grandpa by my side.”
If I Could Go Back comes out 5/6.
Family is everything to Aaliyah. Her grandfather may be grumpy but he raised her and she’ll obey him until she secretly contacts her birth mother, upsetting her family.
This is especially a great story for young adults who may be going through the same issues that the main character, Aaliyah, is going through (parent abandonment, caring for an elderly family member, graduating high school and all the decisions that come with it, and anxiety. It was an easy and fast. I definitely recommend for teenagers and adults that enjoy YA.
“I’d rather be a little unhappy than live my life without my grandpa by my side.”
If I Could Go Back comes out 5/6.
November 20, 2025
spoiler alerts because Goodreads doesn't let me select only certain areas of text to hide.....ope.
One thing I did appreciate about this book is it didn't have the "It's the end of the story and all matters have been perfectly resolved so let's go link hands and dance in a circle around a maypole like fairytales" or whatever. It didn't seem to focus so much on mental health like the impression I got from the blurb, but hey perspective is different.
One thing I did appreciate about this book is it didn't have the "It's the end of the story and all matters have been perfectly resolved so let's go link hands and dance in a circle around a maypole like fairytales" or whatever. It didn't seem to focus so much on mental health like the impression I got from the blurb, but hey perspective is different.
May 20, 2025
I 100% recommend this highly impactful, emotionally charged book, omg!!
This was just breathtaking. I really should sit with my thoughts before I review this book because I don’t think I will be able to convey everything I’m feeling, but… I won’t
First of all, I cannot believe this is a debut. The writing is incredibly engaging and you immediately care for these characters you’re introduced to. Aaliyah is our protagonist and we LOVE HER! She is incredibly strong willed, but so vulnerable. She just wants to be loved. Raised by her grandfather, the two have an unbreakable bond. He has been a constant in her life, just like her aunt, uncle and cousin Ivy.
Still, Aaliyah yearns to know why her parents left her as a baby and cut all ties. Her grandfather has never been shy about his disdain for his daughter leaving her baby girl, and loathes Aaliyah’s father. Yet, she needs to know and when the opportunity at a connection presents itself, she takes it… against her grandfather’s wishes.
Aaliyah must maneuver so many difficulties on her path to the truth. The truth of why they left her and uncovering different sides of the story. Getting to know her parents puts major rifts in her relationships with the rest of her family, but Aaliyah just wants to belong.
This is a beautiful and devastating read that had me crying ugly tears! Please pick up this tender and compassionate story of family, love, loss, and acceptance.
This was just breathtaking. I really should sit with my thoughts before I review this book because I don’t think I will be able to convey everything I’m feeling, but… I won’t
First of all, I cannot believe this is a debut. The writing is incredibly engaging and you immediately care for these characters you’re introduced to. Aaliyah is our protagonist and we LOVE HER! She is incredibly strong willed, but so vulnerable. She just wants to be loved. Raised by her grandfather, the two have an unbreakable bond. He has been a constant in her life, just like her aunt, uncle and cousin Ivy.
Still, Aaliyah yearns to know why her parents left her as a baby and cut all ties. Her grandfather has never been shy about his disdain for his daughter leaving her baby girl, and loathes Aaliyah’s father. Yet, she needs to know and when the opportunity at a connection presents itself, she takes it… against her grandfather’s wishes.
Aaliyah must maneuver so many difficulties on her path to the truth. The truth of why they left her and uncovering different sides of the story. Getting to know her parents puts major rifts in her relationships with the rest of her family, but Aaliyah just wants to belong.
This is a beautiful and devastating read that had me crying ugly tears! Please pick up this tender and compassionate story of family, love, loss, and acceptance.
June 29, 2025
this book had so much potential, so many important topics, well-written dialogue... but it never really went anywhere. the plot was not well-structured, the main conflict did not feel resolved AT ALL. it actually felt like more glaring issues were introduced right at the end of the book... and as those issues were revealed, the book abruptly ends. :( i blame the editors and publisher for not guiding to author to improve the story before publishing, because this author clearly has great ideas and writing potential.
worst plot holes:
(1) The premise that her parents were completely NO CONTACT with her for 16 years, despite living within 30 minutes of her for most of her childhood. Does. Not. Make. Sense.
Mind you, they were healthy, fully functioning, employed adults for most of the time. I was predicting there was some deep, dark secret about interfamilial kidnapping/mental health crises/drug addiction/imprisonment that explained why they couldn't reach her. but besides the mom's post-partum depression a few yrs after her birth, there is no explanation.
I get that the whole point of the book is they *chose* not to reach out and that was a huge mistake... but it really doesn't even seem realistic that they wouldn't reach out.
They were still her legal guardians. It's impossible that for 16 years of Aaliyah's life, the gov never needed parental consent, no parental signatures, proof of identity, birth certificates, etc for public school, driver's license, traveling, etc?? Her grandpa was NOT her legal guardian and couldn't do these things even as her caretaker. legally, it could even be argued that it was interfamilial kidnapping when her grandparents took her in. obv it wasn't. But yeah, it's impossible for her parents to have gone fully non-contact without it raising legal issues.
I think it would have strengthened the book if there were mentions of her parents making brief reappearances in her life throughout her childhood, but ultimately being unfit to care for her.
(2) the explanation of how/why her parents abandoned her seemed watered-down and didn't really make sense: her parents didn't *really* abandon her, apparently they were taking rlly good care of infant Aaliyah until her mom got postpartum depression and then the parents just... fizzled out? and let the grandpa take Aaliyah... and then had another baby who they gave up to the foster care within a year? and then went no contact with their entire family on both sides for 16 years despite living 30 mins from eachother i guess? very unrealistic.
(3) they find out that Aaliyah has a younger brother who's probably floating around the foster care system for the past 16 years... AND NOBODY DOES ANYTHING. Aaliyah is mad that her parents didn't tell her... but nobody actually tries finding this lost sibling and making sure he's ok? reuniting the family? WHY WOULD U BRING THIS UP AND NOT RESOLVE IT????
Honestly with the way the cover and synopsis read, i thought this book would have way darker secrets revealed abt Aaliyah's family. i genuinely thought we'd find out she was a victim of inter-familial kidnapping and her identity was changed or smth. nah.
(4) Nobody besides the grandpa really says it, but Aaliyah's parents are in a toxic relationship and her mother is overly co-dependant on the dad and doesn't even apologize to Aaliyah at the end unless the dad would... that's super weird, prob abusive, and it's never resolved.
(5) Aaliyah DOES NOT take care of her grandpa like she should. I know the book tried to write it off as if its normal for her to stress him out and ignore him for weeks bc fo the parent beef WHEN HE'S LITERALLY HALF-PARALYZED. Apparently, she's really guilty abt it.... but still rarely visits him or partakes in his rehabilitation activities. Her poor aunt is doing all the work. i don't think the author intended it, but Aaliyah was portrayed as a very self-centered crybaby brat that everyone was constantly taking care of. And by the end of the book, i do appreicate that she chose to go to college in-state to care for her family, which showed growth. BUT ALSO LENA??? fully capable adult who only visits her hospitalized father 1 time, and by the end of the book, makes no commitments to helping take care of him or Aaliyah? wtf?
If this book had an actual resolution, the parents and grandpa would've squashed their decades old beef for Aaliyah's sake and began taking care of her. i guess the conclusion was meant to show some parents will always be let-down selfish assholes and kids should know they still have other family/friends caring for them... but it didn't feel like a resolution.
(6) Tommy's abusive ex is never fully resolved. no parents/adults are notified. no legal repurcussions. BTW Aaliyah jumping her cld get her charged with assault, so im not sure that was a very health response or a good choice for the plot to leave that as a "resolution" to an abusive partner.
now two minor issues:
(6) how did all 4 of the main characters get into University of Chicago, without mentioning anything about the expensive ass tuition? I know 3 of them are athletes and prob got athletic scholarships BUT you still need a whole academic portfolio. we only get like 2 mentions of Aaliyah doing hw. and she apparently applied to the ENGINEERING!!! program, without knowing anything about engineering. um. you need to be a math genius to even be accepted into that. its also unlikely that Tommy, who's said to hate studying, would get into UofC, and then stay there while failing classes without getting put on academic probation... idc if it's a minor detail, as a college student, that rlly jumped out to me in an already badly written plot.
(7) the book takes place in Chicago, which excited me... but the story could've honestly take place anywhere. besides UofC, there wasn't many Chicago-specific aspects to make the book more interesting or realistic. I assume that means Aaliyah lives in Hyde Park. There are SO MANY cool things in that area, like historic landmarks, museums, athletic areas, Black cultural areas, that i would've expected ot be mentioned. they don't even mention the CTA?? tho Aaliyah apparently has car issues. like wouldn't the next obvious option to be taking the CTA bus lol
Anyway, the book had some great topics, but overall failed to deliver.
worst plot holes:
(1) The premise that her parents were completely NO CONTACT with her for 16 years, despite living within 30 minutes of her for most of her childhood. Does. Not. Make. Sense.
Mind you, they were healthy, fully functioning, employed adults for most of the time. I was predicting there was some deep, dark secret about interfamilial kidnapping/mental health crises/drug addiction/imprisonment that explained why they couldn't reach her. but besides the mom's post-partum depression a few yrs after her birth, there is no explanation.
I get that the whole point of the book is they *chose* not to reach out and that was a huge mistake... but it really doesn't even seem realistic that they wouldn't reach out.
They were still her legal guardians. It's impossible that for 16 years of Aaliyah's life, the gov never needed parental consent, no parental signatures, proof of identity, birth certificates, etc for public school, driver's license, traveling, etc?? Her grandpa was NOT her legal guardian and couldn't do these things even as her caretaker. legally, it could even be argued that it was interfamilial kidnapping when her grandparents took her in. obv it wasn't. But yeah, it's impossible for her parents to have gone fully non-contact without it raising legal issues.
I think it would have strengthened the book if there were mentions of her parents making brief reappearances in her life throughout her childhood, but ultimately being unfit to care for her.
(2) the explanation of how/why her parents abandoned her seemed watered-down and didn't really make sense: her parents didn't *really* abandon her, apparently they were taking rlly good care of infant Aaliyah until her mom got postpartum depression and then the parents just... fizzled out? and let the grandpa take Aaliyah... and then had another baby who they gave up to the foster care within a year? and then went no contact with their entire family on both sides for 16 years despite living 30 mins from eachother i guess? very unrealistic.
(3) they find out that Aaliyah has a younger brother who's probably floating around the foster care system for the past 16 years... AND NOBODY DOES ANYTHING. Aaliyah is mad that her parents didn't tell her... but nobody actually tries finding this lost sibling and making sure he's ok? reuniting the family? WHY WOULD U BRING THIS UP AND NOT RESOLVE IT????
Honestly with the way the cover and synopsis read, i thought this book would have way darker secrets revealed abt Aaliyah's family. i genuinely thought we'd find out she was a victim of inter-familial kidnapping and her identity was changed or smth. nah.
(4) Nobody besides the grandpa really says it, but Aaliyah's parents are in a toxic relationship and her mother is overly co-dependant on the dad and doesn't even apologize to Aaliyah at the end unless the dad would... that's super weird, prob abusive, and it's never resolved.
(5) Aaliyah DOES NOT take care of her grandpa like she should. I know the book tried to write it off as if its normal for her to stress him out and ignore him for weeks bc fo the parent beef WHEN HE'S LITERALLY HALF-PARALYZED. Apparently, she's really guilty abt it.... but still rarely visits him or partakes in his rehabilitation activities. Her poor aunt is doing all the work. i don't think the author intended it, but Aaliyah was portrayed as a very self-centered crybaby brat that everyone was constantly taking care of. And by the end of the book, i do appreicate that she chose to go to college in-state to care for her family, which showed growth. BUT ALSO LENA??? fully capable adult who only visits her hospitalized father 1 time, and by the end of the book, makes no commitments to helping take care of him or Aaliyah? wtf?
If this book had an actual resolution, the parents and grandpa would've squashed their decades old beef for Aaliyah's sake and began taking care of her. i guess the conclusion was meant to show some parents will always be let-down selfish assholes and kids should know they still have other family/friends caring for them... but it didn't feel like a resolution.
(6) Tommy's abusive ex is never fully resolved. no parents/adults are notified. no legal repurcussions. BTW Aaliyah jumping her cld get her charged with assault, so im not sure that was a very health response or a good choice for the plot to leave that as a "resolution" to an abusive partner.
now two minor issues:
(6) how did all 4 of the main characters get into University of Chicago, without mentioning anything about the expensive ass tuition? I know 3 of them are athletes and prob got athletic scholarships BUT you still need a whole academic portfolio. we only get like 2 mentions of Aaliyah doing hw. and she apparently applied to the ENGINEERING!!! program, without knowing anything about engineering. um. you need to be a math genius to even be accepted into that. its also unlikely that Tommy, who's said to hate studying, would get into UofC, and then stay there while failing classes without getting put on academic probation... idc if it's a minor detail, as a college student, that rlly jumped out to me in an already badly written plot.
(7) the book takes place in Chicago, which excited me... but the story could've honestly take place anywhere. besides UofC, there wasn't many Chicago-specific aspects to make the book more interesting or realistic. I assume that means Aaliyah lives in Hyde Park. There are SO MANY cool things in that area, like historic landmarks, museums, athletic areas, Black cultural areas, that i would've expected ot be mentioned. they don't even mention the CTA?? tho Aaliyah apparently has car issues. like wouldn't the next obvious option to be taking the CTA bus lol
Anyway, the book had some great topics, but overall failed to deliver.
May 2, 2025
“... you have to trust that you raised me to be strong enough to take care of myself.”
Eighteen-year-old Aaliyah Campbell has always been raised by her grandparents. Her granddad, Joe, has consistently shut down any conversations about her mom, Lena, and her dad, Quincy. All she knows is that her mom got pregnant at sixteen, and the only parents she’s ever known are her grandparents. When Aaliyah finds Lena’s Facebook and reaches out to her—despite protests from her cousin, Ivy, and knowing her granddad Joe will be furious—she schedules a meeting with the one person she’s always wondered about. As Aaliyah learns more about her parents’ past, she realizes that the things she always believed might not be the whole truth.
I’m usually a fan of character-driven contemporary fiction, and If I Could Go Back was no different. The relationships that Aaliyah has with her family and friends are beautifully complex and representative of just how familiarity breeds contempt and how distance can make the heart grow fonder. While I typically enjoy romantic relationships that are relatively drama-free, it was refreshing to read about Tommy’s relationship with Aaliyah and how his ex played a role in the story. Though hard to read about, Tommy’s situation is one that I feel can use more representation in all types of media. YA books with mental health representation, though more common, are still incredibly difficult to find. It’s made clear from the start that Aaliyah is an anxious person, and as the story takes off, there’s little doubt that she’s also depressed. I’m aware that depression manifests differently in every person; however, my main issue with the book was the way that depression was mentioned and depicted throughout the story. There are plenty of times where Aaliyah acknowledges her depression or depressive episode but then fails to mention it again within her own inner monologue, let alone to another person. The principal point here is that while Johnson does a stellar job of illustrating Aalliyah’s anxiety and her panic attacks, the same can’t really be said for her depression. It seems that her depression is often mentioned but not shown in depth. Regardless, considering how personal a topic depression is, I’d recommend If I Could Go Back to anyone who loves reading about complex familial, personal, and romantic relationships.
If I Could Go Back releases on May 6th, 2025.
Pine Reads Review would like to thank NetGalley and Peachtree Teen for sending us an ARC in exchange for an honest review. Any quotes are taken from an advanced copy and may be subject to change before final publication.
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Eighteen-year-old Aaliyah Campbell has always been raised by her grandparents. Her granddad, Joe, has consistently shut down any conversations about her mom, Lena, and her dad, Quincy. All she knows is that her mom got pregnant at sixteen, and the only parents she’s ever known are her grandparents. When Aaliyah finds Lena’s Facebook and reaches out to her—despite protests from her cousin, Ivy, and knowing her granddad Joe will be furious—she schedules a meeting with the one person she’s always wondered about. As Aaliyah learns more about her parents’ past, she realizes that the things she always believed might not be the whole truth.
I’m usually a fan of character-driven contemporary fiction, and If I Could Go Back was no different. The relationships that Aaliyah has with her family and friends are beautifully complex and representative of just how familiarity breeds contempt and how distance can make the heart grow fonder. While I typically enjoy romantic relationships that are relatively drama-free, it was refreshing to read about Tommy’s relationship with Aaliyah and how his ex played a role in the story. Though hard to read about, Tommy’s situation is one that I feel can use more representation in all types of media. YA books with mental health representation, though more common, are still incredibly difficult to find. It’s made clear from the start that Aaliyah is an anxious person, and as the story takes off, there’s little doubt that she’s also depressed. I’m aware that depression manifests differently in every person; however, my main issue with the book was the way that depression was mentioned and depicted throughout the story. There are plenty of times where Aaliyah acknowledges her depression or depressive episode but then fails to mention it again within her own inner monologue, let alone to another person. The principal point here is that while Johnson does a stellar job of illustrating Aalliyah’s anxiety and her panic attacks, the same can’t really be said for her depression. It seems that her depression is often mentioned but not shown in depth. Regardless, considering how personal a topic depression is, I’d recommend If I Could Go Back to anyone who loves reading about complex familial, personal, and romantic relationships.
If I Could Go Back releases on May 6th, 2025.
Pine Reads Review would like to thank NetGalley and Peachtree Teen for sending us an ARC in exchange for an honest review. Any quotes are taken from an advanced copy and may be subject to change before final publication.
Follow us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook @pinereadsreview, and check out our website at www.pinereadsreview.com for reviews, author interviews, blogs, podcast episodes, and more!
September 9, 2025
Rating: 3.75 ⭐️
_________
If I Could Go Back is a classic YA novel full of teenage emotions and drama, but it also explores meaningful themes. Aaliyah, raised by her grandfather Grandpa Joe after losing her grandmother, wants to find her parents. Every time she brings them up, Grandpa Joe reacts angrily, which was frustrating—her curiosity is natural, and it’s crucial for her journey of self-discovery.
When she finally meets her parents, they turn out disappointing, just as Grandpa Joe warned. Still, the experience helps Aaliyah realize who truly loves her and that she doesn’t need her absent parents to feel complete. The story also touches on heavy themes like Grandpa Joe’s stroke and the pressure Aaliyah feels to care for him while still in high school—showing how teens sometimes take on adult responsibilities too soon.
On the romance side, Aaliyah and Tommy’s banter was cute, and the book also highlights abusive relationships where the male partner is the victim—a less common perspective in YA fiction. It emphasizes the importance of adult support in difficult situations.
Overall, If I Could Go Back is an emotionally rich, drama-filled YA story about family, self-discovery, and finding your place in life. It’s a thoughtful read, though a bit slow to get through at times.
_________
If I Could Go Back is a classic YA novel full of teenage emotions and drama, but it also explores meaningful themes. Aaliyah, raised by her grandfather Grandpa Joe after losing her grandmother, wants to find her parents. Every time she brings them up, Grandpa Joe reacts angrily, which was frustrating—her curiosity is natural, and it’s crucial for her journey of self-discovery.
When she finally meets her parents, they turn out disappointing, just as Grandpa Joe warned. Still, the experience helps Aaliyah realize who truly loves her and that she doesn’t need her absent parents to feel complete. The story also touches on heavy themes like Grandpa Joe’s stroke and the pressure Aaliyah feels to care for him while still in high school—showing how teens sometimes take on adult responsibilities too soon.
On the romance side, Aaliyah and Tommy’s banter was cute, and the book also highlights abusive relationships where the male partner is the victim—a less common perspective in YA fiction. It emphasizes the importance of adult support in difficult situations.
Overall, If I Could Go Back is an emotionally rich, drama-filled YA story about family, self-discovery, and finding your place in life. It’s a thoughtful read, though a bit slow to get through at times.
March 31, 2025
I really loved this book! It felt so classic YA in a timeless way--if it weren't for referencing FaceTime or AirPods it could've been something that I picked off the shelf as a teenager, but also entirely relevant to modern teenagers. It's a story about girl with an atypical family structure and what that means to her, but also learning what she wants it to mean to her. A true coming of age story, it was about Aaliyah figuring out what she wants and needs, even if she makes some mistakes along the way.
What I loved the most about this book was how true to life all the characters felt, and how they were all allowed to be messy and have their own conflicting wants/needs/opinions in their own ways. Things get MESSY and I loved that, because it felt so real for what the characters were feeling from their different perspectives. The whole thesis of the book is that yeah you might fight and disagree, but it's how you act and grow and care for one another afterwards--or if you don't--that matter moving forward, and it was written with so much grace and empathy.
ALSO IT WAS FUNNY. I was truly waiting for Aaliyah to fight that school secretary.
What I loved the most about this book was how true to life all the characters felt, and how they were all allowed to be messy and have their own conflicting wants/needs/opinions in their own ways. Things get MESSY and I loved that, because it felt so real for what the characters were feeling from their different perspectives. The whole thesis of the book is that yeah you might fight and disagree, but it's how you act and grow and care for one another afterwards--or if you don't--that matter moving forward, and it was written with so much grace and empathy.
ALSO IT WAS FUNNY. I was truly waiting for Aaliyah to fight that school secretary.
May 30, 2025
2.5
I picked this book up specifically for the fact that the main character has a grandpa named Joe. Because I have a grandpa named Joe LOL..
This was a waste of my time. I thought it was going to get better and have more character development along the way but that never happened. It only got messier and more unserious the further along I read.
Aaliyah's family dynamic is so strange. Her being able to come and go from different friends' houses for multiple weeks at a time was so strange. Yes, she is a senior in high school but her decisions are extremely immature.
There was also a "bomb drop" at the end that was absolutely insane and irrelevant. The reader was brought through so much for nothing... I was OVER this one by the end.
I picked this book up specifically for the fact that the main character has a grandpa named Joe. Because I have a grandpa named Joe LOL..
This was a waste of my time. I thought it was going to get better and have more character development along the way but that never happened. It only got messier and more unserious the further along I read.
Aaliyah's family dynamic is so strange. Her being able to come and go from different friends' houses for multiple weeks at a time was so strange. Yes, she is a senior in high school but her decisions are extremely immature.
There was also a "bomb drop" at the end that was absolutely insane and irrelevant. The reader was brought through so much for nothing... I was OVER this one by the end.
June 19, 2025
A coming-of-age Y.A. novel, with interesting twists.
A young woman has to ask herself some tough questions about family ties in her senior year of high school. Just because you’re related to someone by blood, if you haven’t had contact with them for 17 years, are they still family? Is it right to go against the wishes of an older person, who has your best interests at heart, to dig deep into past history to find answers? What if the information you find is a bombshell that could tear apart relationships?
Red Flags:
This novel dealt with some very mature subjects. Teenage pregnancy , absentee parents, drug abuse and alcoholism, a teenage girl is physically and verbally abusive with her boyfriend. As well, the language used is often very vulgar.
A young woman has to ask herself some tough questions about family ties in her senior year of high school. Just because you’re related to someone by blood, if you haven’t had contact with them for 17 years, are they still family? Is it right to go against the wishes of an older person, who has your best interests at heart, to dig deep into past history to find answers? What if the information you find is a bombshell that could tear apart relationships?
Red Flags:
This novel dealt with some very mature subjects. Teenage pregnancy , absentee parents, drug abuse and alcoholism, a teenage girl is physically and verbally abusive with her boyfriend. As well, the language used is often very vulgar.
May 11, 2025
After Aaliya’s parents abandoned her when she was a little girl, she was raised by her grandparents. Her grandmother died a few years ago, and Grandpa Joe along with her cousin Ivy and her aunt and uncle have always been her family. Over the years Grandpa Joe would never answer any questions she had about her birth parents which frustrated her. She was sure that if she could find them the family would be reunited, she would feel loved. Read more about this book on my blog: https://shouldireaditornot.wordpress....
June 27, 2025
Rating: pg-13 profanity, teen sex in existence, 1/2 chili pepper. Adult drug use. School fights, family drama.
Recommend: ya realistic fiction older hs and up
The lesson at the heart is that there is wisdom in not making big decisions before we know the whole story. And … sometimes it’s better to go ahead and tell the whole story.
But I found the characters to be a little flat, predictable. And the wrap up was quick and a little too easy.
But I loved ms. Jones’s reveal of her own good grandfather and her affection for him, her sadness at his passing. This was a good tribute to him.
Recommend: ya realistic fiction older hs and up
The lesson at the heart is that there is wisdom in not making big decisions before we know the whole story. And … sometimes it’s better to go ahead and tell the whole story.
But I found the characters to be a little flat, predictable. And the wrap up was quick and a little too easy.
But I loved ms. Jones’s reveal of her own good grandfather and her affection for him, her sadness at his passing. This was a good tribute to him.
March 28, 2025
This is an emotional story. I really liked the way Aaliyah's anxiety was portrayed because it felt exactly like how my anxious brain works. The story also hit me hard with the family dynamics and situations that Aaliyah faces. It's hard to not feel like enough.
The writing style was easy to read and would be good for teens 15+.
Thank you to NetGalley and publisher for the opportunity to read and review.
The writing style was easy to read and would be good for teens 15+.
Thank you to NetGalley and publisher for the opportunity to read and review.
June 9, 2025
If I Could Go Back is a touching story about a teenage girl searching for the truth behind her parents’ decision to have her raised by her grandfather. As an adult reader, I really appreciated her honest reflections—her thoughts, questions, and emotional journey felt both relatable and sincere. Most of all, watching her grow was truly heartwarming. I absolutely fell in love with her grandfather and have so much respect for the bond they shared. Their relationship is the heart of this story.
August 14, 2025
2.75 rounded up. Aaliyah got my nerves quite a bit, and with the way she moved she read as a younger teenager and not 18 years old. I can’t put my finger on it right now but something about this book just felt off, like the characters actions didn’t match at times. There’s more I want to say but don’t want to spoil anything
November 27, 2025
Loved this book so much! One of my favorite YA reads this year. I was hooked by the second page because the characters are so beautifully brought to life. The last paragraph of the final chapter and the epilogue made me cry in the best way! Extra love for the Midwest (Chicago) setting and anxiety rep 💜 I will definitely be looking for the author’s next book.
February 22, 2025
3.5 stars
July 3, 2025
it was very powerful.
August 10, 2025
This broke my heart over and over and I loved it.
November 18, 2025
Such a beautiful exploration of family, mental health, and some heavier topics--all of which will make young readers feeling truly seen. A novel that expands this age range and genre, IF I COULD GO BACK is one I will remember.
May 29, 2025
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