✰ 3.75 stars ✰
“You do a lot of remembering when memories are all you’ve got.”
It's a surreal feeling to read a latest book by an author that you grew up reading, and having him write a story like Mixed Up, which includes Covid as one of the plot's integral points. It made me sit back and think about the days when I first stumbled across his books in our school library's junior fiction shelves, the memories of checking out his books - alongside the many other books that threatened to exceed each student's limit. 😅
“Memory: the mental process of registering, storing, and retrieving information.”
Ah, memories - who would we be without them? Who would be without remembering the people and moments that made up our lives - proved our existence - shared our experiences? How would it feel if one day you woke up and you didn't have them? Couldn't remember your way home? Your child's birth? Your wedding day? Your graduation? Your last birthday party? What if you couldn't remember the face of the one person who matters to you the most - memories so very precious because you know, there will never be a chance in the future for you to make more memories of them? 😟
What would you do then?
For twelve-year-old Reef Moody - the memory of his mother is the one thing he cannot afford to forget - because he'll never get a chance to make more memories with her. It's not only that fear that he's losing her - it's feeling like an unwelcome burden as he has to live with his mother's best friend's family - it's enduring her fourteen-year-old son's relentless torments and bullying, it's the heavy painful guilt that weighs upon his heart, that he holds himself responsible for bringing the Covid virus home and making him and his mother susceptible to it. 😔 And it's that desperate horrified anger that it's not that he's forgetting his memories - it's that he's losing them - that someone else is stealing all the memories of his life - and replacing them with his own. Enter Theo Metzinger.
“It’s frustrating not to be able to remember … especially since I remember so many things I would love to forget. Like what happened to Mom, and the reason why I’m all alone in the world.
Too bad you don’t get to pick what you remember.”
I was really glad that Reed and Theo didn't become best friends right off the bat? I mean, can you blame them? Someone else living with the memories of what defined you - recalling the instances that you treasured - that feeling of frustration and indignation of being so helpless to it - yeah, I wouldn't like it either. And while they are connected 'by a phenomenon that, as far as we know, has never happened to anybody else in the history of the world', they have their own share of personal problems that they have to endure. 🥺 Theo, riddled by the disappointment he feels for not living up to his father's expectations, Reed, forever carrying the guilt of not only being indirectly responsible for his mother's death, but now forgetting her, as well - 'What kind of monster forgets his poor dead mother?'
His grief was not palpable - it was tangible - in the way, that he so fiercely fought to preserve any lingering remnant of her existence - be it a photo or a phone recording - he couldn't even visit her in the hospital, due to the Covid regulations. But, it's through a well-balanced pacing in the story, that we get this believable build-up of anticipation as the two of them eventually were brought into each other's orbit and the realization that their memories were crossing over. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
While they try to find ways to figure out what could be the potential cause for their unfortunate situation, I liked how the author was able to weave some closure to their own personal problems. Admittedly, Reed's bullying issue was resolved a bit underwhelming, but with the same skillful manner of what being kids is all about - taking a risk and a chance to do what's right. And despite Reed's reluctance to befriend Theo, I liked how their friendship steadily grew - as they learned how much more they have in common than they realize - how they related to each other's memories, Theo, especially.
The few glimpses he had to Reed's life were so heart-breaking - a witness to 'a memory of the worst day of somebody’s life', the realization that Reed is a lot worse of than he is - that 'my life may not be perfect, but I’ve never been stuck in a lose-lose situation like that. 😢 There is always that subtle hint of compassion and understanding that resonates in GK's writing - one that you see the growth in the characters as we get closer to the ending - wondering how on earth they're going to figure out a plausible way out of this predicament.
“Some things that happen are so big you’re never the same afterward.”
But, not all is doom and gloom here - there are those brief instances that the author sneaks in the levity that makes me smile - that heartwarming feeling of making new friends and looking at the positive parts of your life. It's the little chuckle I let out when Theo's father comes to cheer on his daughter at her soccer match and Theo observes, 'I don’t know you,” I tell him as I sit down a good distance away.' We've all had those moments, haven't we? 😄 It's the soft recollection of Theo's mother when he inquires if there was anything special about the day he was born - some link that will help narrow down why he and Reed's memories are overlapping - with 'Of course,” Mrs. Metzinger replies with a big smile. “That was when I first became a mother. Nothing’s more special than that.' 🥰 It's the little things that stand out that even if it is a Middle Grade book - these are the books that even parents will appreciate the bond between a parent and their child and how much of our lives and our family members we should not take for granted. 🫂
And that ending... 💔💔 Gordon Korman, you broke my heart. I did not expect you to go down that route, but you did. Yes, I teared up - it was not fair — but life rarely is, isn't it? But, as you always do, you try to find the beauty and good that came out of it. 🥲 'Memory isn’t a total antidote to grief, but in a way, you can keep someone alive in your thoughts.' It may not have been the perfect ideal ending, but it was bittersweet and sadly, painfully real, but with enough hopeful promise for a hopeful future to savor the memories we still have and create new ones, in the years to come. ❤️🩹❤️🩹