How to Handle More Than You Can Handle: Caring for Yourself While Raising a Disabled Child

by Amanda Griffith-Atkins

A guide to navigating the emotional experience of caring for and raising disabled children with high-support needs, from a therapist and parent of a disabled child. 
 
Amanda Griffith-Atkins, a therapist who is also one of the millions of people raising a disabled child with high-support needs, knows firsthand about the dark places parents go—the grief, the anger, the frustration—and the shame these feelings can bring up. In her practice, and now her book, she gives parents an invaluable set of tools to find the strength, acceptance, and self-compassion to face these hard emotions to become a more forgiving and healthier version of themselves---and better caretakers for their children. She takes readers through the different emotions of this unique parenting   the shock of diagnosis, the fight for resources, the anxiety of navigating your child’s growing independence, the uncertainty of how best to prepare for their future without you. Then she turns her lens to the parent’s world and how to navigate the fraught territory of marriage, identity, expectations, guilt, managing non-disabled siblings, and more. She shows us that bringing your darkest feelings into the light and showing up as your full self is the best way to get out of survival mode. Because you—and your child—deserve it.  

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook

218 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 10, 2025

Reviews

[Tasha Goodvin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to Amanda Griffith-Atkins for the advanced reading copy.

This book is beautifully written and deeply personal. Each chapter shares real stories that resonated with me—especially Part Three on taking care of yourself. As a parent to a child with a physical disability, that section felt like a lifeline. I could’ve highlighted the entire thing.

Reading this made me feel seen, heard, and understood. I wish I could go back and give this book to myself in the NICU—it’s the warm hug and sense of community I didn’t know I needed. I want to hand it to every newly diagnosed mom, to my family, my friends—everyone. It helped me make sense of my own experiences and relationships, and reminded me that my feelings matter and taking care of myself is important.

[Sierra Abbott · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s an honor to read the advance reading copy before this book is in the hands of the public. As a mom to a child with complex medical needs, I resonated with something every chapter. What a blessing it is to read the raw words and emotions of other caregivers who get it. Who feel the good, the bad, and the ugly, but don’t judge each other for it. Because we get it. We live it. We know it.

One of my favorite quotes from the book- “I want to be clear that you can grieve your child’s experiences, their struggles, the inaccessible world they live in, and the ways in which your relationship is different from what you imagined and still love every aspect of your child.”

Thank you, Amanda, for making our community feel seen and validated.

[Megan Schneider · Rating 5 out of 5]

So eloquently written. Incredibly relatable. Loved the variety of topics - a book that will touch you today, tomorrow, and many years down the road when certain milestones arise. I loved the reflection exercises at the end of the chapters and I look forward to using them as journaling prompts! This will surely be a book I will continue to recommend to anyone navigating life with a disabled child. Thank you Amanda for sharing your gift of writing with the world!

[Jordan Sarbaugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was honored to receive an advance copy of this book and for any parent with a child living with a disability or medical complexities or chronic illness, I cannot recommend this enough!
Not only does she have the talent & skill to identify many of the raw emotions associated with being a parent navigating this world, but she then validates and breaks down these thoughts, emotions and experiences into something tangible to process. There were so many times I felt “seen,” while also introducing topics I will encounter in the future (hello puberty, dating, independence, etc!)
The other aspect of this book that resonated with the season I am currently in as a caregiver is permission to identify my own needs and wants and learning to not ignore or have guilt about them.
Could not recommend this onion of a book for caregivers to peel away the complex layers of caring for a child with challenges and complexities.

[Emily Briano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential for any parent of a child with disabilities. A balm to my soul.

[Brittany Buchanan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautifully written book for parents and family members to really be seen and heard when it comes to the difficulties of having a child with disabilities. I felt like I was sitting with Amanda and hearing such truth, empathy, and grace from someone who actually gets it. Because the truth is, not many people do when they haven’t experienced it. Would highly recommend to parents and a great gift to family members who may need to understand things differently. Well done, Amanda!

[Kylah Erickson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my god, I don’t even know where to start with this review.

Mandii, you made me laugh out loud, sob (multiple times), and simultaneously taught me so much. I think it is worth mentioning that I am in fact not a mother to a disabled child. However, I have had the incredible privilege of being trusted enough to be a part of your world. I witnessed first hand the process that was the writing of this book and I have been your number one fan since the beginning (ask literally anyone I know). I could go on for ages about how informative, raw, real, hilarious, and inspiring this book is, but I won’t.

In the simple words of the one, and only, Ms. Kylah “it’s good shit!!” I will forever be eternally grateful for the opportunity to know you and your wonderful family. Thank you for letting me witness all of the chaos <3

[Melinda D'Eredita · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've listened to this on audiobook in the car throughout the last month during the height of summer which can be a very tiring, challenging, yet also very happy time for caregivers and also children who are off of their routine. When I first started the book I wondered if it would be pertinent to our experience as the author has a son with a rare genetic syndrome that required him an extensive NICU experience, excessive hunger, and a g-tube, while our child is high supports, non-verbal autistic and she wasn't diagnosed until she was a few years old. Although different diagnoses and care plans, this book was relatable especially with the examples of other caregivers/children and their experiences which varied from autism, traumatic brain injuries, facial scars, etc. Also the idea about how teachers would ask the author if they could give her son more snacks despite being educated time and time again how he will eat quite literally until his stomach explodes. It can be frustrating when it feels like you are unheard or to feel you are perceived as "being the bad guy" for knowing your child and their limitations and/or needs.

The author covered topics of differences in personality types in caregivers and the challenges different personality types in caregiver relationships, isolation, grief, your child with a developmental disability living a fulfilling and even happy life despite their diagnosis, siblings and a growing family, and life planning.

My biggest take away was the topic of toxic positivity and how we are trained "good vibes only" and to only talk about the good of everything while bottling up the hard/sad feelings- and how bad this can be for everyone involved. Embracing tragic optimism, and finding hope in the hardest of times- acknowledging that the situation is hard, and we can do hard things.

This author is a licensed family counselor, and it is easy to see her organization, heart, and insight of raising her own child with a disability all while having a career and growing her family with 2 additional children, as well.

[Heather Preece · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Scattered amid the joy and grief, somewhere under all the caretaking and responsibility, is you. You are not the same person before parenting threw your world upside down. You’ve changed but you’re in there. You’re allowed to be more than just a parent. You’re allowed to have complex emotions about your parenting experience and not feel like you have to add the caveat ‘but I love my child so much,’ because love and pain can coexist.”

Never have I read a book before that made me feel so seen and understood. This book tackles all the hard things that come with parenting a child with disabilities like navigating the medical system, the impact on your marriage and even how to manage puberty. I loved all the different examples from families as well as the authors personal experiences. This book was hopeful and validating without sugar coating the hard parts.

Thank you Amanda Griffith-Atkins and Hachette Book Group for the ARC. I have followed Amanda for a long time on instagram and have always appreciated her honesty and perspective. I was so excited when she wrote this book and it definitely did not disappoint.

[Jacci Pittz · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is the most validating and encouraging book I’ve ever read as a parent of a disabled child. The audiobook, read by Amanda herself, feels like a therapy session—raw, comforting, and deeply honest about what it means to hold two truths at once. Amanda offers practical guidance, space for vulnerability, and the kind of courage we all need to see reflected.
I cannot recommend it enough—1000x over!

[Marah Malleck · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a medical parent, you go and go and go and go. You organize, anticipate, reflect, decide, love, fear, and grieve every single day. And then along comes Amanda Griffith-Atkins’ book and you feel seen and heard. You’ve been validated and brought into a bigger circle that is bigger than you. Bigger than your family. Because you ARE not alone. This book is the toolkit & lifeline we all need in this life. Thank you, AGA, for the advanced copy, and for sharing your knowledge, experience, and perspective with us.

[Kelli H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, what a gift to share with the world! So grateful for a validating and powerful writing. I wish and hope that more parents will get the opportunity to read this! I know that I’ll advocate for it as a resource in any way I can as many of us don’t get a resource when we receive a diagnosis. The immediate connection it builds is incredible, I’ll be rereading. Thank you to the author!

[Allison Michels · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved and highlighted so many one liners! Great read. Wish I would had this year ago when we were first diagnosed. Amanda is relatable and funny and says the hard stuff. Great read

[Esra Tasdelen · Rating 5 out of 5]

An essential read for parents of disabled children that covers multiple aspects of this difficult journey. It has many helpful and realistic tips to navigate this complicated path without falling into the traps of toxic positivity and a "good vibes only" mindset. Strongly recommended for any parent who is anywhere on this journey!

[Jewels Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

So thankful for this very relatable guide and would recommend to anyone who has a disabled child. I wish I had this book years ago, when I was blindsided by rare diagnoses for my now 15 year old son. Much like Amanda’s popular Instagram content, there is so much encouragement in this book. It was like a hug I needed from another mama in the trenches. Now I wish I could drive to Chicago and book a therapy session with her! Highly recommend!

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read for the parent of a disabled child or someone who wants to better understand what a parent of a disabled child is going through. Parents of disabled children will recognize a lot of the situations discussed and hopefully come away with more ideas or tools to use.

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book deserves more than five stars. I devoured this book in a day - reading it while in a waiting room or while sitting in my car outside my son’s therapy clinic made it feel even more relatable and helpful. It hit home for me on so many levels. I couldn’t put it down.

[Tristina Pontiakos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you so much to Amanda Griffith-Atkins and Hachette Book Group for the ARC. This book will resonate to the core of anyone raising a child with a disability of any magnitude. The collective stories included in this book are so meaningful and encompass a wide range of experiences. Amanda’s voice shines through in her matter-of-fact writing style while still providing a solid bridge towards hope. I was in tears throughout the entirety of part three and cannot wait to work more towards finding my own meaning.

[Meredith Barnett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t have time to read. Ever. Miraculously, a 6 hour chunk of uninterrupted reading time fell into my lap when I had to take myself to the ED yesterday (forced self care? 😅) my child is medically complex (cystic fibrosis among many other things), but doesn’t have a cognitive or physical disability in the traditional sense, so I was kind of expecting only some of this book to apply to me. I was happily surprised to see so many thoughts I’ve had to myself written out and printed before my eyes. I can imagine it was hard to write such about such a widely shared experience by using many incredibly unique stories. The author wove the thread through them all so beautifully. Thank you, Amanda, for this incredible gift. I took so many pictures of pages I wanted my husband to read before I realized it would be easier for him to just read the whole dang thing!
I also found so much value in this book as an pediatric occupational therapist. It helped me so much with seeing the perspective of many families I have worked with over the years. I truly believe this book made me a better provider and I plan to recommend it to all of my colleagues!

[Dhakirah · Rating 5 out of 5]

"There is so much beauty and value scattered throughout the experience of parenting a disabled child. We get to be a companion to our child through all of life's ups and downs."


"You're allowed to be more than just a parent. You're allowed to have complex emotions about your parenting experience..."

"You deserve to be fully whole, a person who feels all the emotions without self-judgement, a person who advocates for their child and for themselves."

While I feel like this book is geared moreso to parents of newly diagnosed children with disabilities, I feel like every parent in thiis community can identify with something in this book. What I absolutely loved about this book is how the author avoided toxic positivity. Parenting a disabled child is hard. and the author acknowledged this with her own experiences, which I also appreciated. I loved the reflections at the end of each chapter. My favorite chapter was "A Whole You". I loved that it was the last chapter in the book, and it really spoke to my heart and my spirit.

I would gift this to any parent of a child with a disability. I want to thank the author for seeing us (those of us parenting a disabled child) and for speaking to us with compassion, empathy, and understanding.

[Araceli Moon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great read that helped me feel seen through many stages of raising a child with a disability, but also opened my eyes to areas where I wasn’t focusing on.

Very important aspects of caring for a child with disabilities and taking care of yourself in the process is maintaining open communication with your spouse, not feeling shame in reaching out to your community, listening to the needs of your neurotypical children (often suffering themselves from glass child syndrome) and understanding that everyone has their own experience that might be different from your own and that’s okay.

Many reading this book are in a similar path as you… trying to navigate life with a child that has a disability in a world that is not considerate of that disability. The main message of this book is to continue to be an advocate for your child and plan your future out with them no matter what that looks like.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is SO necessary for parents of disabled children! We need people who are in the space WITH us filling the gap. I felt so seen reading this book and will be ordering it on Audible so that I can listen to it again while drive to work. The reminders that we (parents of kids with disabilities) can exist with complex emotions and that we aren't alone...THIS is an incredibly important book. **I received a complimentary ARC from the author/publishing company via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts & opinions are my own.

[Laura NC · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful parts for me as mom/caregiver of medically fragile disabled adult.
-Why pop psychology tips for anxiety don’t work for me. The stress response exists for a reason, to respond to danger. And my son does face “danger” daily. So vigilance is to be expected as a way of life. Just be realistic about what’s actually a danger and what is only potential.
- practice radical acceptance, game changer!
-glass child syndrome is a thing! I used to think my typical kids were just really “easy”

[Lois Habel · Rating 4 out of 5]

My daughter asked for this book for Christmas. I'm glad I ordered it early and was able to read it first.
My beautiful, funny, and intelligent 7 year old granddaughter was diagnosed with congenital muscular dystrophy when she was 6 months old. She is ambulatory with assistance and part-time wheelchair user. Also has a feeding tube. She will always need caregiving but that does not diminish the person she is.
This book helped me as a grandmother to validate my feelings and encourages me to practice radical acceptance.

[Sheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fellow PWS mama here. This book hit on every level. I learned a lot in the process too. There are so many amazing take aways here, but for anyone who had a child with a disability. I highlighted, wrote in, my book. It's become a working book.
I read this as a book club with a few other PWS moms.
Doing it together added an amazing level.
I might have felt not alone reading myself, but reading as a group, where we discussed a chapter a week, was simply amazing to do.

[Tracy Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great reference for parents of children with disabilities. I found myself crying and nodding through the majority of it and thinking “yes!”. I underlined so much of this book. I feel like it contains so much good tangible advice I may need to read it multiple times. A must read for parents of individuals with disabilities.

[Laurie Hunter Hunter · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have a child with complex medical needs, you need to read this book. I’ve been on this journey twice, and I’m still in need of the reassurance and support I found in this book.

[Julie H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very relatable. I appreciate the books being written about parenting disabled children. :)

[Courtney Morlet]

this book is everything if you have a child with disabilities.. highly suggest. its helped me feel less alone in my thoughts.. and has also made me think of things I haven't yet.

[Amanda Francis · Rating 4 out of 5]

From the minute I started reading I was texting my medical mom friends saying, “You have to read this. She’s reading my mind.” She touches on topics I’ve tried to avoid thinking about:puberty and independence and things that keep me up at night:marriage and self-care. Thanks for putting my thoughts into words and giving our challenging live as caregiving parents a voice!