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The Hipposync Archives #4
Can't Buy Me Blood
This book was previously published as Grume.
‘Vampires stalk the shadows of DC Farmer's urban landscape, where occult crimes and dark humor lurk around every corner. Masterful storytelling.’
Blood, blood, glorious blood…
Kylah Porter trusts her partner Matt, but his special agent skills? Not so much.
When vampire murders in the Fae realm get mixed up with human sorcery, it’s clear there’s a serial killer on the loose.
Faced with a reformed bloodsucker cult and a quirky bookshop where the written words have a life of their own, can Matt prove he’s not a walking disaster and worthy of his Departmental status before chaos reigns, or is it drips, over everything?
Or will his luck, and his relationship with the amazing captain Porter, finally run out?
‘brilliant series ,loved it. Will wait impatiently for the next one ,characters are brilliant & I do hope there will be more buffing the vampire slayer to come! AMZ review.
‘Once again, DC Farmer draws us into the Hipposync world and keeps us breathless. The entire series has had me hooked - I love the characters and the way he develops them. I love that each book introduces new people to care about but doesn't completely abandon old friends…’ AMZ review.
‘Vampires stalk the shadows of DC Farmer's urban landscape, where occult crimes and dark humor lurk around every corner. Masterful storytelling.’
Blood, blood, glorious blood…
Kylah Porter trusts her partner Matt, but his special agent skills? Not so much.
When vampire murders in the Fae realm get mixed up with human sorcery, it’s clear there’s a serial killer on the loose.
Faced with a reformed bloodsucker cult and a quirky bookshop where the written words have a life of their own, can Matt prove he’s not a walking disaster and worthy of his Departmental status before chaos reigns, or is it drips, over everything?
Or will his luck, and his relationship with the amazing captain Porter, finally run out?
‘brilliant series ,loved it. Will wait impatiently for the next one ,characters are brilliant & I do hope there will be more buffing the vampire slayer to come! AMZ review.
‘Once again, DC Farmer draws us into the Hipposync world and keeps us breathless. The entire series has had me hooked - I love the characters and the way he develops them. I love that each book introduces new people to care about but doesn't completely abandon old friends…’ AMZ review.
- GenresUrban FantasyFantasy
318 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 21, 2017
169 people are currently reading
62 people want to read
About the author
D.C. Farmer
7 books64 followersDC Farmer (as someone else--names changed to protect the innocent) began writing thrillers while the kids were in the bath. They grew up and so did he. Now he writes speculative fiction under the umbrella of the Hipposync Archives.
He lives in Wales and uses quite a lot of that umbrella.
He lives in Wales and uses quite a lot of that umbrella.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
February 2, 2026
I went into Can’t Buy Me Blood expecting a fun urban fantasy with vampires, but I honestly didn’t expect to get this invested in the world and the characters. DC Farmer has a way of pulling you straight into the Hipposync universe and refusing to let go. From the first chapters, the tone is sharp, darkly funny, and soaked in atmosphere this is a story where blood, magic, and chaos feel completely at home together.
What really stood out to me was the balance between the supernatural and the human side of the story. Yes, there are vampires stalking the shadows, occult crimes, and a serial killer weaving through both the Fae realm and the human world but at the heart of it all are characters who feel real, flawed, and oddly relatable. Kylah Porter is a fantastic character: strong, intelligent, and grounded. Her trust in Matt is emotional rather than blind, and that dynamic makes their relationship feel believable instead of forced.
Matt himself is a joy to read. He’s competent enough to survive the job but chaotic enough to constantly make you wonder how he hasn’t completely destroyed everything yet. Watching him try to prove he’s worthy of his Departmental status while everything around him steadily drips toward disaster adds tension and humor in equal measure. The banter, the missteps, and the moments of genuine growth made me root for him even when I wanted to shake him.
The world-building deserves special praise. A reformed bloodsucker cult, a bookshop where written words have a life of their own, and a layered magical system that never feels overexplained Farmer trusts the reader to keep up, and that confidence pays off. The pacing is tight, the mystery unfolds naturally, and the stakes always feel high without becoming exhausting.
What I loved most is how this book fits into the larger series without feeling repetitive. New characters are introduced in ways that make you care about them quickly, while familiar faces still feel important and present. It’s rare to find a series that expands its world while keeping its emotional core intact, but Can’t Buy Me Blood manages that effortlessly.
By the time I reached the end, I was already impatient for the next installment. This is smart, witty, bloody urban fantasy done right full of heart, danger, and characters you don’t want to say goodbye to. If you enjoy vampires with personality, dark humor, and a story that knows exactly what it’s doing, this book is absolutely worth your time.
What really stood out to me was the balance between the supernatural and the human side of the story. Yes, there are vampires stalking the shadows, occult crimes, and a serial killer weaving through both the Fae realm and the human world but at the heart of it all are characters who feel real, flawed, and oddly relatable. Kylah Porter is a fantastic character: strong, intelligent, and grounded. Her trust in Matt is emotional rather than blind, and that dynamic makes their relationship feel believable instead of forced.
Matt himself is a joy to read. He’s competent enough to survive the job but chaotic enough to constantly make you wonder how he hasn’t completely destroyed everything yet. Watching him try to prove he’s worthy of his Departmental status while everything around him steadily drips toward disaster adds tension and humor in equal measure. The banter, the missteps, and the moments of genuine growth made me root for him even when I wanted to shake him.
The world-building deserves special praise. A reformed bloodsucker cult, a bookshop where written words have a life of their own, and a layered magical system that never feels overexplained Farmer trusts the reader to keep up, and that confidence pays off. The pacing is tight, the mystery unfolds naturally, and the stakes always feel high without becoming exhausting.
What I loved most is how this book fits into the larger series without feeling repetitive. New characters are introduced in ways that make you care about them quickly, while familiar faces still feel important and present. It’s rare to find a series that expands its world while keeping its emotional core intact, but Can’t Buy Me Blood manages that effortlessly.
By the time I reached the end, I was already impatient for the next installment. This is smart, witty, bloody urban fantasy done right full of heart, danger, and characters you don’t want to say goodbye to. If you enjoy vampires with personality, dark humor, and a story that knows exactly what it’s doing, this book is absolutely worth your time.
October 13, 2025
Revamping his original series, Farmer appears to acknowledge that the intended audience has grown beyond mostly male adolescent gamers. In Can't Buy Me Blood, Farmer continues to explore the tropes of urban fantasy, in this case vampires, but now also brings in more nuanced concerns such as refugees from wars and punitive behavior against an outclassed people. Granted, Farmer doesn't offer a glamorized version of a vampire. No sparkles, but some brooding. Early on, the vampire slayer is revealed to be a horrific killer who slays for the fun of it.
Characters introduced in the first three volumes are back for Book 4. In the Human World (HW), the denizens of the Fae World are kept contained by members of a secret government task force whose mission is to control and contain the borders between both worlds. Farmer has created a wonderful foil named Sexton, a misogynistic drone who really needs to be spanked. Nevertheless, our leads, Kylah and Bobby, they remain professional. Vampires and victims—will Kylah and Bobby be transfixed?
Asher and Matt's main adventure is set in the alternate world, the Fae Realm (FW) which contains multiple worlds that often overlap. There are doorways or portals between. In Can't Buy Me Blood, a television in the absolute wrong place shows the Fae vampire what an earth vampire could be. No sparkle, just handsome power. Can a necromancer, and an incredibly fortunate human stop the potential carnage?
Farmer is the pen name for a practicing physician in the UK. I appreciate his use of medical knowledge to bring realism to his stories. In this case, giving detailed descriptions of brain chemistry changing post bite, added plausibility for this reader. Another pleasure was following the behavior of the couples, Bobby and Asher, and Kayla and Matt. In each case, trying to do the "right thing" without clear communication, is causing problems. Underneath the action and the snark, the reader will find things to consider. Originally book 4 concluded this series. There are two new titles on the horizon. I look forward to reading them as well.
Characters introduced in the first three volumes are back for Book 4. In the Human World (HW), the denizens of the Fae World are kept contained by members of a secret government task force whose mission is to control and contain the borders between both worlds. Farmer has created a wonderful foil named Sexton, a misogynistic drone who really needs to be spanked. Nevertheless, our leads, Kylah and Bobby, they remain professional. Vampires and victims—will Kylah and Bobby be transfixed?
Asher and Matt's main adventure is set in the alternate world, the Fae Realm (FW) which contains multiple worlds that often overlap. There are doorways or portals between. In Can't Buy Me Blood, a television in the absolute wrong place shows the Fae vampire what an earth vampire could be. No sparkle, just handsome power. Can a necromancer, and an incredibly fortunate human stop the potential carnage?
Farmer is the pen name for a practicing physician in the UK. I appreciate his use of medical knowledge to bring realism to his stories. In this case, giving detailed descriptions of brain chemistry changing post bite, added plausibility for this reader. Another pleasure was following the behavior of the couples, Bobby and Asher, and Kayla and Matt. In each case, trying to do the "right thing" without clear communication, is causing problems. Underneath the action and the snark, the reader will find things to consider. Originally book 4 concluded this series. There are two new titles on the horizon. I look forward to reading them as well.
October 11, 2025
The story continues for the main characters with a darker background. Vampires.
The story continues for the main characters with a darker background. Vampires.
The "about this book" hinted at a turn of events for one of the big guns that left me trying to work out who was scheduled to disappear from the series.
There is a dark lead threatening to cross over dimensions and the DOF team have to step up. And there's a past for one of them to overcome as well.
And some hints at the world we live in:
"‘But we all know how much trouble words can cause. Some people ascribe all sorts of meaning to things when they’re written down. They adopt them as a way of life and castigate anyone else who doesn’t think or do as they do. Words are probably the most powerful things we have.’"
"‘They’re only shapes and squiggles. I don’t see how they can cause so much trouble,’ Keemoch said with a soldier’s belief in trusting things you could feel and see rather than ideas that you could not. Bobby shrugged. ‘It’s not the squiggles and symbols that are the trouble. It’s the people who read them. And we all know how good people are at creating mayhem from the simplest of things. Just look at what they’ve done with the atom.’"
Roll on book five.
Some humour
"‘Put your finger right on it there, Agent Danmor,’ Birrik added. ‘Really?’ Matt said, ‘You shouldn’t stand so close.’"
"‘Let’s just say that no matter how hard you might rub, there is no prospect of him ever being a polished one.’"
The story continues for the main characters with a darker background. Vampires.
The "about this book" hinted at a turn of events for one of the big guns that left me trying to work out who was scheduled to disappear from the series.
There is a dark lead threatening to cross over dimensions and the DOF team have to step up. And there's a past for one of them to overcome as well.
And some hints at the world we live in:
"‘But we all know how much trouble words can cause. Some people ascribe all sorts of meaning to things when they’re written down. They adopt them as a way of life and castigate anyone else who doesn’t think or do as they do. Words are probably the most powerful things we have.’"
"‘They’re only shapes and squiggles. I don’t see how they can cause so much trouble,’ Keemoch said with a soldier’s belief in trusting things you could feel and see rather than ideas that you could not. Bobby shrugged. ‘It’s not the squiggles and symbols that are the trouble. It’s the people who read them. And we all know how good people are at creating mayhem from the simplest of things. Just look at what they’ve done with the atom.’"
Roll on book five.
Some humour
"‘Put your finger right on it there, Agent Danmor,’ Birrik added. ‘Really?’ Matt said, ‘You shouldn’t stand so close.’"
"‘Let’s just say that no matter how hard you might rub, there is no prospect of him ever being a polished one.’"
September 28, 2025
This is my favourite in the series so far by quite a long way. It features the return of Asher, who works so well with Matt in this one. We see vampiric evil leaking over from New Thameswick, and builds gently on the worlds DC Farmer has already created with just enough of a blend of mystery, menace, and fantasy to make for a stonking read. There's still a lot of fun in the dialogue, and the characters blend, forming a great team, when it comes to solving fae and supernatural mysteries. Highly recommend.
May 3, 2025
...Before This Night is Through I Wanna Do Bad Things With You
Hipposync personal relationships put under strain between worlds, in vampire satire with Tiny Tim channelling Van Helsing. Much twisting of vampiric folklore, both laugh out loud funny and genuinely horrific, but the vampires fare better than certain politicians of a tory persuasion.
Hipposync personal relationships put under strain between worlds, in vampire satire with Tiny Tim channelling Van Helsing. Much twisting of vampiric folklore, both laugh out loud funny and genuinely horrific, but the vampires fare better than certain politicians of a tory persuasion.
Read
November 4, 2024Can't buy me blood
Take a big dollop of Bram Stoker add some Vampires that are into Hammer Horror Dracula films and pour into the mixture some of Sir Terry Pratchett's imagination and you've got a cracking book
Take a big dollop of Bram Stoker add some Vampires that are into Hammer Horror Dracula films and pour into the mixture some of Sir Terry Pratchett's imagination and you've got a cracking book
December 29, 2024
The whole series is just plain fun. There are many a bad pun to be had and lots of action and adventure and even a smidgeon of romance between non-typical people.
Laughs and excitement, who could ask for more?
Laughs and excitement, who could ask for more?
February 18, 2025
Up to standard
Read all of these in the right order, and have enjoyed them. Some good puns/jokes in there, sometimes I read over one, then went back to read it again and got the joke.
Onto number 5 now!
Read all of these in the right order, and have enjoyed them. Some good puns/jokes in there, sometimes I read over one, then went back to read it again and got the joke.
Onto number 5 now!
October 17, 2025
Shisstirrer
It's rare I laugh out loud whilst reading, which means I'm probably reading the wrong type of book, or this series of tales are some of the best I've encountered in many a full moon. I'm actually scared of biting my tongue in case I infect myself lol
It's rare I laugh out loud whilst reading, which means I'm probably reading the wrong type of book, or this series of tales are some of the best I've encountered in many a full moon. I'm actually scared of biting my tongue in case I infect myself lol
January 7, 2026
I want to give this series of books a higher rating but the huge number of typos/grammar errors keeps it a three again. I like the idea of them and most of the execution, although some of the jokes are very simplistic. I will keep reading until I am done.
October 1, 2024
Shonkin!
This book should be read slowly and treasured. There are so many puns and LOL moments. The character of Shonkin is genius!
This book should be read slowly and treasured. There are so many puns and LOL moments. The character of Shonkin is genius!
January 21, 2025
Another thrilling rollercoaster ride with droll humour throughout. So much fun to read. I thought the Glamour so relatable to society today... sad and humorous. Great series.
March 27, 2025
Great read
This is the 4th book in the series and just as good as the previous 3. I'm looking forward to the next 2
This is the 4th book in the series and just as good as the previous 3. I'm looking forward to the next 2
May 16, 2025
love this series
So well written! Love this series and can’t wait for #6! Please keep up the good work and keep churning these out ❤️
So well written! Love this series and can’t wait for #6! Please keep up the good work and keep churning these out ❤️
July 25, 2025
Just brilliant
Another great story in this series
Is it wrong to be slightly in love with Asher and his eyelashes?
On to the next.
Another great story in this series
Is it wrong to be slightly in love with Asher and his eyelashes?
On to the next.
September 17, 2025
Vampire, bumps and witches, oh my!
Characters you already know in a new adventure. Murder, Nathan and love, who could ask for more? Its a fun and twisted tale that you will enjoy.
Characters you already know in a new adventure. Murder, Nathan and love, who could ask for more? Its a fun and twisted tale that you will enjoy.
September 29, 2025
Not my favourite. I'm not sure why. The plot was good, the characters engaging, it just dragged a bit for me. 3.75*
March 6, 2019
Hilarious
I am actually raging this is the last book , brilliant series ,loved it will wait impatiently for the next one ,characters are brilliant & I do hope there will be more buffing the vampire slayer to come .
I am actually raging this is the last book , brilliant series ,loved it will wait impatiently for the next one ,characters are brilliant & I do hope there will be more buffing the vampire slayer to come .
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews