Overheard in New York: Conversations from the Streets, Stores, and Subways

by S. Morgan Friedman, Marc Shaiman (Foreword), Lawrence Block (Introduction)

The streets of New York are full of characters-eccentrics, tourists, and residents-who don't care who's around to hear them. This collection offers some of the most bizarre, hysterical, and mysterious conversations overheard on the sidewalk, in the subway, or from the next table.

The website overheardinnewyork.com has been featured in many publications, including The New York Times, Time Out New York, the Chicago Sun-Times, the San Francisco Examiner, and the New York Post. Now site creators S. Morgan Friedman and Michael Malice have compiled the greatest moments caught in passing, to create a hilarious panorama of the unique people who populate the city. The book features an introduction by Marc Shaiman, the Tony and Grammy award-winning composer of Hairspray, as well as a foreword by bestselling author Lawrence Block.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, New York, Travel

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 31, 2006

Reviews

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good as a bathroom book maybe. I did chuckle the two times New Yorkers dissed Staten Island. Mostly depressing re: all of the homeless people mentioned. Also, only three section breaks, so no convenient place to pause. I stayed up late to finish this and that was a mistake. So not worth it, but with only 50 pages left, what’s a girl to do?

2, not worth staying up til 1230am to finish it, make it a bathroom book, stars.

[Shelley Diamond · Rating 2 out of 5]

I expected this to be better than it was. Most of these conversations were with stupid people who can be found anywhere. I guess I was looking for a book titled Overheard ONLY in New York.... A few certainly have classic New York attitude, but I think the book needed better editing. I'm sure they could have found more conversations that met a higher standard. But perhaps I just have a native New Yorker attitude about it.....

A few examples of only in New York conversations:

Person #1: It's really snowing hard out there. I hope I make it home in one piece.
Person #2: Is that your way of saying you'd like to sleep over?
Person #1: No, that's my way of saying I'd rather risk death than stay here with you.

Bible hawker: Have you considered turning back to Jesus?
Women: Have you considered licking my clitoris?

God Squad guy: Jesus is the way, take a prayer book because Jesus is the way!
Man: Look buddy, this is New York. We're all Jewish in one way or another. Try Jersey.

Tourist: Excuse me, do you know how I get to Penn Station?
New Yorker: Do I look like a fucking tour guide?
Tourist: You must be a real New Yorker! You're the kind of person I came here to find!

Woman at street food cart: Can I get two pretzels to go?
Cart worker: To go? As opposed to what, eat in?

Homeless man on street: Please! (holds out hands begging)
Another homeless man: (contemptuously) Aw man, you don't even got a cup!

Well-dressed woman: (offering a pair of gloves): Can you use these?
Homeless man: C'mon lady, you should know better. Those don't match my outfit.

Well-meaning person: You know, smoking is bad for your health.
Security guard: Yeah? So is fucking with people at 8:30 in the morning.

[Jonathan · Rating 3 out of 5]

A delightful little jam of a book, chock-full of the (un)usual amuse-bouches we've all come to expect from NYC dwellers, thanks to the eponymous website. Guaranteed to make you feel your city and its own denizens lack chutzpah, wit, flow, and style in their speech. New Yorkers shine, the tourists typically burn, and we all float on all right.

Often I've found that the headlines written by the site/book's keepers are just as funny if not funnier than the quotes themselves. The fan-submitted quotes are often hilarious, sometimes crass, and never dull.

I was gifted this book after a fairly serious car wreck, and blast it if that friend didn't hurt me good, causing me to laugh with my full torso and spine repeatedly. (Thanks for everything, ARose.) Reminds me of a certain Jack Handey-ism: "Papa always said laughter was the best medicine. Guess that's why so many of us died of tuberculosis."

morsels, and hardly the best ones:

ODDLY SATAN LOATHES STEAKS
(A group of punks walks by the Hellenic Steaks restaurant.)
Punk: This restaurant is perfect for me: I love steaks, and I love Satan!

I EAT IN THE THIRD PERSON
Billy: Can anyone help Billy out so Billy can get dinner? Anyone? No? Thanks a lot!
-Taco Bell, Union Square

AT LEAST THEY'LL STOP TAKING AMERICAN JOBS
Girl #1: Have you heard? I read dolphins are committing suicide together in ever larger numbers.
Girl #2: Is that good or bad for us?

THE NUISANCE
Guy: Facts are such a distraction from the essence of what's really happening.


Too true, mate.

[Marsha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ah, New York. There’s nowhere and nothing quite like it. Here it is, in all its steamy, seamy, sordid splendor and grit. The hicks, chicks, dicks, chicks with dicks, thugs, lugs, rubes, boobs, hippies, chippies, yuppies, buppies, homeless and hopeless are all here, all of them with something to say. Lewd, rude, crude, loud, rowdy and obnoxious and proud of it (no, fiercely proud of it; no, DAMN proud of it!), they cry out their opinions, foolishness, pride and shame and don’t care who sees them washing their dirty laundry in public.

This is one great book, hilarious, ribald and occasionally sad. It does make you think but mostly it just makes you goggle. This is a fine gift for tourists or even for that New Yorker who thinks s/he has seen it all.

[Bookfanatic · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny! Some of these will make you laugh out loud. Others will give you a quiet chuckle. However, you need to have a sense of humor and not be too uptight. You can read this in bits and pieces. As the title indicates, these are small snatches of conversation overheard in various places in New York from subways, restaurants, sidewalks, restrooms, classrooms, etc. People say the funniest things on the phone and to each other. It's a bit voyeuristic, but admit it, we all love to get a glimpse into other people's lives.

If you love the book, check out the free site www.overheardinnewyork.com for more real life conversations overheard in NY.

[Raquel · Rating 3 out of 5]

hilarious/bizarre/frightening conversations overheard in New York. A fun, quick read!

[Jess the Shelf-Declared Bibliophile · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting way to look at our culture. A funny read!

[cauldronofevil · Rating 4 out of 5]

This 297 page paperback by S. Morgan Friedman and Michael Malice looks like kind of an ‘on the toilet book’. Short little pieces quickly digested. But I love that kind of stuff.

I used to do this trick at parties where I would write verbatim what I had overheard, usually a sentence or so. And then later I would post it so the group of people from the party could read it.

Hearing some phrases out of context made them completely hilarious - to me anyway - not everyone was amused.

So this kind of book sounds like a fun read.

For some reason they give each entry, long or short a title, which is really kind of “WINK, WINK, NUDGE NUDGE, GET IT!?”. I’ve stopped reading them.

So I read these until one of them makes me laugh. So far it’s three pages or less.

So this was a fun read. Of course, books like this suffer being read cover to cover, but it was still a fun book.

I’ll give it 4 stars and put it back in circulation.

[Catherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this in bits & pieces as it didn't lend itself to just reading straight through - the sort of book to read between other books. A lot of the conversations were silly or banal, a number were amusing, & a few were quite funny

[Richard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent to pass the time with, although there were a few dozen entries that fell flat for me or just didn't find funny. But still, there's some hilarious moments in there.

[Xanthi · Rating 2 out of 5]

A of the examples made me laugh, some made my cringe and a lot made me facepalm and reminded me why I purposely try to ignore or block out the random ramblings of other people. I was really hoping this was going to be funnier than what it turned out to be. In the end, it just confirmed that the world (or at least NYC?) is full of crazy/ignorant/racist/prejudiced people. *puts headphones on and walks away*

[Bree · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a really long book so it's better to just skip around. I think each page has 4 conversations on it so that is a lot of reading. Some are ridiculous and I rolled my eyes. I didn't laugh out loud and many were not funny but really sad and pathetic. I think a book edition was too much but to browse it on the computer when you have nothing to do might be fine...kind of like peopleofwalmart.com.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very entertaining book. My favorite overheard thing is what a guy said on his cellphone: "Fuck you! I have a website you can go to. It's called www.getbitchslappedyoufuckingbitch.com. Or how about www.fuckthisshityoufuckingwhore.net.com?" It's that last "net.com" that gets me. It's like in that Austin Powers movie when he's saying "zip it" to Scott.

[Tom Romig · Rating 3 out of 5]

On the one hand, the overheard comments are often unintentionally hilarious, but on the other hand, they are frequently mean-spirited and ignorant. Reading the conversations puts you at one remove, but if you imagine actually hearing some of them, you'd likely be appalled by their aggressive and menacing tone.

[Katrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

light read, good for the coffee table.

[Rachael]

I just got this book for Christmas. I love overheardinpittsburgh.com so I am sure this will be a great book.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

That offices are ridiculous... but this book has some quotes that are gems!

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amusing.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

No, not high literature. Not in the least. But funny?

Oh, yeah.

So funny you have to wonder if it isn't made up, at least a little.

But who cares?

[Meghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some great, laugh-out-loud moments that will resonate with anyone who has worked in an office or with total morons.

[Corinne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once again, one of those "coffee table" books that I read in one sitting. Absolutely witty, funny, and entertaining.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

people say the funniest things

[Biscuits · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is what it is. Quirky snippets of out-of-context conversations. At times funny. Other times not so much.

[Elizabeth]

fantastically hilarious!

[linalovetheater · Rating 3 out of 5]

a quick read, funny as hell

[Eileen Lennon · Rating 4 out of 5]

New Yorkers are funny. Snotty, but funny.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was really funny, and feel I have some insight into NYC culture.

[Karen! · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of these are disturbing.
Some of these are threatening to the continuation of the human race.
Some of these are hysterical.

[Justin Meek · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sarah & I are working on a companion book: Overheard in Santa Cruz.