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The ABC's of Choosing a Good Wife: How to Find and Marry a Great Girl
How to find a good wife from a Christian perspective.
- GenresNonfictionCatholic
176 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 2001
About the author
Steve Wood
64 books6 followersSteve Wood has led youth, campus, and pro-life ministries. A graduate of Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, he served as an Evangelical pastor for a decade before his entire family converted to Catholicism in 1990. Responding to a challenge from Pope John Paul II to strengthen families, he started the Family Life Center International in 1992. Over the past seventeen years, the Family Life Center has networked with thousands of families in over 80 countries.
Steve is also the founder of St. Joseph's Covenant Keepers, a movement that seeks to transform society through the transformation of fathers and families. Utilizing his books Christian Fatherhood & Legacy, CDs, television, radio, and conferences, Steve has reached tens of thousands of men in the USA, Canada and overseas with a message of Christian faith and responsibility. He is the host of the live Faith and Family broadcasts on EWTN worldwide radio.
In 2007, Pope Benedict XVI awarded Steve the "For the Church and for the Pope" (Pro Ecclesia Et Pontifice) medal, an award given for distinguished service to the church, in recognition for his work with St. Joseph's Covenant Keepers.
Steve has also written two books: The ABCs of Choosing a Good Husband and The ABCs of Choosing a Good Wife to assist young adults in choosing a lifetime partner and preparing for marriage.
Steve and Karen Wood have been married for over thirty years and are the parents of eight children and the grandparents of two grandchildren.
Steve is also the founder of St. Joseph's Covenant Keepers, a movement that seeks to transform society through the transformation of fathers and families. Utilizing his books Christian Fatherhood & Legacy, CDs, television, radio, and conferences, Steve has reached tens of thousands of men in the USA, Canada and overseas with a message of Christian faith and responsibility. He is the host of the live Faith and Family broadcasts on EWTN worldwide radio.
In 2007, Pope Benedict XVI awarded Steve the "For the Church and for the Pope" (Pro Ecclesia Et Pontifice) medal, an award given for distinguished service to the church, in recognition for his work with St. Joseph's Covenant Keepers.
Steve has also written two books: The ABCs of Choosing a Good Husband and The ABCs of Choosing a Good Wife to assist young adults in choosing a lifetime partner and preparing for marriage.
Steve and Karen Wood have been married for over thirty years and are the parents of eight children and the grandparents of two grandchildren.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
August 12, 2019
This should be mandatory to read for every woman. Don't be deceived by the cheesy cover and title combo; the wisdom in this book is invaluable.
January 3, 2022
I found this book to be both insightful and helpful. Honestly, the only reason I gave it 4 stars was because it included quotes from the apocrypha. Although it was written by a man, I found his insight and experience to be profound. My favorite chapter was “narcissistic men,” I have a feeling that the author really took from his own personal experience when writing that chapter. Additionally, this book addresses great questions everyone should consider while and before dating like “is kissing and petting okay?” I thought Mr. Wood did spectacular answering that question. This book changed the way I see the entire world and saved my future marriage. I would highly recommend this book to anyone.
April 27, 2009
At first glance, the cover and title of this book and its partner book, The ABCs of Choosing a Good Wife were off-putting to say the least. It seemed juvenile to think one could just apply a list to select a spouse. In fact, everyone I've known who has a "list" for a spouse, usually ends up disappointed because the "perfect" partner doesn't exist except in our imaginations.
However, once I got into this book, I found the ideas riveting and somewhat frightening. The reason they were frightening is because the author, Stephen Wood, makes sense when he speaks to young women about what qualities make a good husband. Unfortunately, many of these qualities women hope their future husbands will have, such as being self-giving, considerate, patient, affectionate, generous, honorable, humble, strong, caring, responsible and mature, are often qualities that young men today are lacking. Sometimes women will fall in love anyway and hope to "change" their husbands once they're married. The truth is marriage isn't the force to change their behaviors. In fact, marriage can sometimes exacerbate underlying character flaws such as irresponsibility, immaturity, narcissism, and selfishness.
The most frightening chapter of all is chapter 18, "Ruinous Effects of Pornography on Your Future Marriage." I recently chatted with a priest friend at a party and he told me he is concerned that so many young men today have a warped view of sexuality due to pornography that they might not be able to make and keep a sacramental marriage. The plague of pornography has become so widespread, that some experts suggest as much as 70% of all college-aged men use pornography and some of these will go on to be so addicted to it that they will prefer pornographic experiences over real women.
According to Stephen Wood: "Annual porn profits exceed the combined revenues of all the professional football, basketball, and baseball franchises." And, "Every thirty-nine minutes a new porn video is created in the United States."
As if those statistics aren't scary enough, he goes on to outline the extent to which pornography has affected Christian men. "In a 1996 survey, 53% of Promise Keepers (Christian men) admitted to viewing porn within a week of attending a PK event." And, "In a (Protestant) pastors.com survey, 54% of pastors said they viewed porn within the past 12 months."
He goes on to say the pornography crisis is even worse among Catholic men. It has affected Catholic men in all walks of life, from priests and deacons, to seminarians (even at the "good" seminaries), to youth group and campus leaders and students on orthodox Catholic college campuses to Catholic homeschooling fathers. Some estimates are that half of all the men attending your parish are ensnared by pornography. He estimates at least two-thirds of all eligible Catholic men have a problem with pornography. That's scary.
Pornography is addictive to men particularly because it causes chemical changes in the brain. Technology has shown us that when pornography is viewed, there are at least a half-dozen neuro-chemicals released into the brain which not only gives the viewer pleasure, but also permanently etches images in his memory. Like other addictions, greater extremes of pornography must be viewed in order for the brain to register the same feelings of pleasure. Ultimately, the man has become a slave to pornography and will choose the pictures or videos over being with his wife.
There are other issues that can kill a marriage, and Stephen Wood lays them all out, in ABC order, to help young women navigate the way to a happy and healthy marriage.
I highly recommend this book to parents as well as young women and men who are contemplating the vocation of marriage.
However, once I got into this book, I found the ideas riveting and somewhat frightening. The reason they were frightening is because the author, Stephen Wood, makes sense when he speaks to young women about what qualities make a good husband. Unfortunately, many of these qualities women hope their future husbands will have, such as being self-giving, considerate, patient, affectionate, generous, honorable, humble, strong, caring, responsible and mature, are often qualities that young men today are lacking. Sometimes women will fall in love anyway and hope to "change" their husbands once they're married. The truth is marriage isn't the force to change their behaviors. In fact, marriage can sometimes exacerbate underlying character flaws such as irresponsibility, immaturity, narcissism, and selfishness.
The most frightening chapter of all is chapter 18, "Ruinous Effects of Pornography on Your Future Marriage." I recently chatted with a priest friend at a party and he told me he is concerned that so many young men today have a warped view of sexuality due to pornography that they might not be able to make and keep a sacramental marriage. The plague of pornography has become so widespread, that some experts suggest as much as 70% of all college-aged men use pornography and some of these will go on to be so addicted to it that they will prefer pornographic experiences over real women.
According to Stephen Wood: "Annual porn profits exceed the combined revenues of all the professional football, basketball, and baseball franchises." And, "Every thirty-nine minutes a new porn video is created in the United States."
As if those statistics aren't scary enough, he goes on to outline the extent to which pornography has affected Christian men. "In a 1996 survey, 53% of Promise Keepers (Christian men) admitted to viewing porn within a week of attending a PK event." And, "In a (Protestant) pastors.com survey, 54% of pastors said they viewed porn within the past 12 months."
He goes on to say the pornography crisis is even worse among Catholic men. It has affected Catholic men in all walks of life, from priests and deacons, to seminarians (even at the "good" seminaries), to youth group and campus leaders and students on orthodox Catholic college campuses to Catholic homeschooling fathers. Some estimates are that half of all the men attending your parish are ensnared by pornography. He estimates at least two-thirds of all eligible Catholic men have a problem with pornography. That's scary.
Pornography is addictive to men particularly because it causes chemical changes in the brain. Technology has shown us that when pornography is viewed, there are at least a half-dozen neuro-chemicals released into the brain which not only gives the viewer pleasure, but also permanently etches images in his memory. Like other addictions, greater extremes of pornography must be viewed in order for the brain to register the same feelings of pleasure. Ultimately, the man has become a slave to pornography and will choose the pictures or videos over being with his wife.
There are other issues that can kill a marriage, and Stephen Wood lays them all out, in ABC order, to help young women navigate the way to a happy and healthy marriage.
I highly recommend this book to parents as well as young women and men who are contemplating the vocation of marriage.
May 26, 2023
Excellent advice for Catholic women seeking a godly, responsible, Catholic husband in today's confusing world. I also loved the accountability pledge as your own checklist of how to evaluate potential husbands using all the insights written in each chapter and having someone go over and evaluate them for you in case you'll have difficulties being objective about a romantic prospect.
September 28, 2026
A lot of great advice in this book. A few points are good in theory, but are hard to imagine being put into practice (e.g. asking a woman for her father’s phone number so that you can ask permission to court his daughter). Overall, it’s a good resource.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 7, 2011
Although I did not learn anything new from this book, it would be a good starting point for a woman who's ready to look for a husband (not just a boyfriend), or for a man who wants to know what women need in a husband. If you want just the facts with no frill, then this book may be the exact package you seek. But it has to be a springboard to richer ground. The ABCs just didn't do it for me.
Read the full review at my blog, Lindsay Loves.
Read the full review at my blog, Lindsay Loves.
November 12, 2011
Very good advice!
January 8, 2012
Very insightful and I appreciate that the author is a guy.
April 5, 2012
The cover scares me. Those men look really old compared to that girl. O_o
That aside, good book. I'm glad my mom made me read it.
That aside, good book. I'm glad my mom made me read it.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews