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What a Girl Wants: A (True) Story of Sexuality and Self-discovery
I am 13 years old and these are my secrets.
1. I have a crush on Jet from ITV gameshow Gladiators. So strong! So pretty!
2. I still play with Barbie dolls. It’s mostly making them scissor.
3. I just kissed my best friend. Spoiler she’s a girl.
From the suburbs of Leeds to the streets of Sydney, from the queer clubs of London to a quiet life by the sea, through love, family, friendship and heartache, join Roxy Bourdillon on a journey to work out exactly who she is.
What a Girl Wants is the perfect read for anyone who’s searched for their place in the world, for anyone who’s ever been catcalled, anyone who's despaired about their body, fallen in love, had their heart broken and found friends who can put it back together.
From overcoming shame and finding your tribe, to surviving the dating scene and learning to really express yourself, this is a book about joy, empowerment and freedom.
It's a laugh-out-loud treat of a read for fans of Dolly Alderton's Everything I Know About Love and Caitlin Moran's How to Be a Woman - but with a glorious queer twist.
1. I have a crush on Jet from ITV gameshow Gladiators. So strong! So pretty!
2. I still play with Barbie dolls. It’s mostly making them scissor.
3. I just kissed my best friend. Spoiler she’s a girl.
From the suburbs of Leeds to the streets of Sydney, from the queer clubs of London to a quiet life by the sea, through love, family, friendship and heartache, join Roxy Bourdillon on a journey to work out exactly who she is.
What a Girl Wants is the perfect read for anyone who’s searched for their place in the world, for anyone who’s ever been catcalled, anyone who's despaired about their body, fallen in love, had their heart broken and found friends who can put it back together.
From overcoming shame and finding your tribe, to surviving the dating scene and learning to really express yourself, this is a book about joy, empowerment and freedom.
It's a laugh-out-loud treat of a read for fans of Dolly Alderton's Everything I Know About Love and Caitlin Moran's How to Be a Woman - but with a glorious queer twist.
288 pages, Hardcover
Published July 1, 2025
7 people are currently reading
574 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
April 11, 2025
What a Girl Wants is a captivating memoir that takes you on Roxy Bourdillon's journey of self-discovery. From early sapphic encounters and people-pleasing patterns to dead-end jobs and Pride celebrations, Bourdillon's story really resonates on a personal level. I laughed and cried since I related to some of my own and many of my friends’ experiences.
Ms. Bourdillon's writing style is refreshing; it feels like having a conversation with a friend. Hearing about her experiences of heartbreak, loss, and family troubles was moving. I appreciated the honesty of her accounts and how grounding it was to hear about her path to her dream job at DIVA. I always love reading something littered with pop culture references, in this from the 1990s through to 2024.
Written with an obvious eye on helping women and the LGBTQIA+ community to feel understood (within themselves and outwardly)—especially for young queer people who want to feel seen and understood—this book’s strength lies in its relatability as the author strives to ensure her personal experiences resonate on a broader level, particularly for those who share similarities in age, upbringing, or life trajectory. Her reflections on school life and feminism, for example, are likely to strike a strong chord, a picture of familiar and validating experiences and struggles.
Ms. Bourdillon also skillfully contextualizes her personal experiences within wider cultural and political moments. Her reflections on media milestones, like the premiere of The L-Word, and political events, like the impact of Section 28 in the UK, add layers of depth to her narrative. These references provide a broader lens through which to understand her story, making it not just a personal memoir but also a reflection on cultural shifts and their effects on individual lives.
What a Girl Wants is a heartwarming, funny, inspiring, and touching read, blending personal storytelling with social reflection that makes this a book well worth picking up.
Thank you to the publisher, Pan Macmillan Bluebird, the author, and to NetGalley for the opportunity of "living" this memoir.
Ms. Bourdillon's writing style is refreshing; it feels like having a conversation with a friend. Hearing about her experiences of heartbreak, loss, and family troubles was moving. I appreciated the honesty of her accounts and how grounding it was to hear about her path to her dream job at DIVA. I always love reading something littered with pop culture references, in this from the 1990s through to 2024.
Written with an obvious eye on helping women and the LGBTQIA+ community to feel understood (within themselves and outwardly)—especially for young queer people who want to feel seen and understood—this book’s strength lies in its relatability as the author strives to ensure her personal experiences resonate on a broader level, particularly for those who share similarities in age, upbringing, or life trajectory. Her reflections on school life and feminism, for example, are likely to strike a strong chord, a picture of familiar and validating experiences and struggles.
Ms. Bourdillon also skillfully contextualizes her personal experiences within wider cultural and political moments. Her reflections on media milestones, like the premiere of The L-Word, and political events, like the impact of Section 28 in the UK, add layers of depth to her narrative. These references provide a broader lens through which to understand her story, making it not just a personal memoir but also a reflection on cultural shifts and their effects on individual lives.
What a Girl Wants is a heartwarming, funny, inspiring, and touching read, blending personal storytelling with social reflection that makes this a book well worth picking up.
Thank you to the publisher, Pan Macmillan Bluebird, the author, and to NetGalley for the opportunity of "living" this memoir.
February 22, 2025
A laugh out loud and empowering memoir!
July 28, 2025
I don't know if this book was written for me personally, but it was like reading a mirror of my life as a teenager and growing up into my adult years. This could be because we're the same age, I also now live in Leeds and previously lived in London so a lot felt extremely relevant. I probably needed a book like this when I was in high school and struggling to figure myself out, but so much of what Roxy had to say resonated with me.
Bourdillon's writing style very much mirrored how I personally wanted to come across to all of my livejournal friends, witty, sassy with some frankly dry sarcasm that really made the read a wholly enjoyable experience. Growing up in the section 28 era, finding humour through your own suffering and expense seems to be a coping mechanism that we've all had to tap into, but that really comes to light in the confusion and journey to find herself chapter after chapter. I can only applaud how much of herself she was willing to bare to us readers, because following along on this discovery of herself from life in the 90's to landing her dream job with DIVA (a bible for me in my 20's) and everything in between felt incredibly validating, so much so that early on I opened the notes app on my phone and wrote down a few one liners to help my review, I ended up having to stop because everything was so relatable I was in danger of rewriting the whole book. Here are a few, and hopefully they'll make more sense as you start to read
Section 28
Massive feminist also raging lezza
Bad Girls TV Show. Be gay, do crime.
Sarah Waters
DIVA
HUMILIGATIONS
Power Rangers - the pink one. Daria. Cruel Intentions.
Something no one warns you about when you come out is how consuming your first lesbian relationship will be. Even if this person isn't necessarily right for you, you will fall in love so hard that breathing without them will feel impossible and you'll be willing to completely rewrite yourself to fit their desire. Bourdillon bares all in retelling her story of first love, and honestly I'm glad this is out there for the baby gays that come next.
It's rare I find a book that makes me feel so understood, but even as a now adult woman I struggle with the "not looking like a lesbian" element to fitting in with my own community. Bourdillon's exploration through this resulting in a very fuck it attitude to embrace her own style and personality really made me reflect pretty hard on not shrinking myself or dulling down to fit a stereotype as it's best to be accepted for who you truly are. Did Bourdillon set out to write me a self help book? Absolutely not, but has it worked, 100% yes.
The take aways I have are
1. Be yourself - your family will learn if they don't come around right away and don't try to fit anyone else's mould in exchange for love.
2. Gay awakenings - We largely all had the same ones, and yes Shane and the L Word helped shape them.
3. LGBT rights - be thankful for how far we've come, but don't be complacent because there is still a lot of progress to be made.
Bourdillon's writing style very much mirrored how I personally wanted to come across to all of my livejournal friends, witty, sassy with some frankly dry sarcasm that really made the read a wholly enjoyable experience. Growing up in the section 28 era, finding humour through your own suffering and expense seems to be a coping mechanism that we've all had to tap into, but that really comes to light in the confusion and journey to find herself chapter after chapter. I can only applaud how much of herself she was willing to bare to us readers, because following along on this discovery of herself from life in the 90's to landing her dream job with DIVA (a bible for me in my 20's) and everything in between felt incredibly validating, so much so that early on I opened the notes app on my phone and wrote down a few one liners to help my review, I ended up having to stop because everything was so relatable I was in danger of rewriting the whole book. Here are a few, and hopefully they'll make more sense as you start to read
Section 28
Massive feminist also raging lezza
Bad Girls TV Show. Be gay, do crime.
Sarah Waters
DIVA
HUMILIGATIONS
Power Rangers - the pink one. Daria. Cruel Intentions.
Something no one warns you about when you come out is how consuming your first lesbian relationship will be. Even if this person isn't necessarily right for you, you will fall in love so hard that breathing without them will feel impossible and you'll be willing to completely rewrite yourself to fit their desire. Bourdillon bares all in retelling her story of first love, and honestly I'm glad this is out there for the baby gays that come next.
It's rare I find a book that makes me feel so understood, but even as a now adult woman I struggle with the "not looking like a lesbian" element to fitting in with my own community. Bourdillon's exploration through this resulting in a very fuck it attitude to embrace her own style and personality really made me reflect pretty hard on not shrinking myself or dulling down to fit a stereotype as it's best to be accepted for who you truly are. Did Bourdillon set out to write me a self help book? Absolutely not, but has it worked, 100% yes.
The take aways I have are
1. Be yourself - your family will learn if they don't come around right away and don't try to fit anyone else's mould in exchange for love.
2. Gay awakenings - We largely all had the same ones, and yes Shane and the L Word helped shape them.
3. LGBT rights - be thankful for how far we've come, but don't be complacent because there is still a lot of progress to be made.
April 16, 2025
This heartfelt, hilarious memoir charts Roxy's life, through her exploration of her sexuality and discovering her true self. Roxy's voice is in turn funny and thought-provoking - sometimes both! - as she recounts the experience of teenage girls and young women with painstaking brutality and understanding. I felt a rollercoaster of emotions reading this book - it's full of important learnings and realisations, and will make you reflect on your own life and the times you realised you were different, and how you coped. It will also make you reflect deeply on how ingrained homophobia has been in society, and how far we still have to come. A line that has particularly stuck with me is 'other people's rights are by default, our rights are up for debate. This is a fantastic book and an honest, reflective memoir that I'll be thinking about for a long time.
April 19, 2025
a heartfelt memoir and funny too
April 5, 2025
Massive thank you to NetGalley and publisher Pan Macmillan/Bluebird for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
"I wield the word 'lesbian' with ease and authority, although I note that the word still makes those around me nervous.
I secretly enjoy that it holds the power to shock a room."
From early sapphic encounters and people-pleasing patterns to dead-end jobs and Pride celebrations - Roxy Bourdillon guides us through her journey of self-discovery in this captivating memoir!
This book had me going through the MOTIONS!! I laughed, I sobbed, and above all - I related! Roxy's writing style is so refreshing to read, it feels like having a conversation with a close friend. Hearing about her experiences with heartbreak, loss and family troubles was really moving and I found myself tearing up on more than one occasion.
I appreciated how honest her accounts were and it was so grounding to hear about how she made it to her dream job at DIVA after being stuck in a loop for so long! It was also really cool to read something so current - with pop culture references from 2024 and mentions of the pandemic, it was fascinating to read about it all through someone else's perspective!!
This book is a love letter to women and the LGBTQIA+ community, a beautiful reminder of the power we hold and the love we share. A must-read for young queer people who just want to feel seen and understood!
4 stars!
★★★★
"I wield the word 'lesbian' with ease and authority, although I note that the word still makes those around me nervous.
I secretly enjoy that it holds the power to shock a room."
From early sapphic encounters and people-pleasing patterns to dead-end jobs and Pride celebrations - Roxy Bourdillon guides us through her journey of self-discovery in this captivating memoir!
This book had me going through the MOTIONS!! I laughed, I sobbed, and above all - I related! Roxy's writing style is so refreshing to read, it feels like having a conversation with a close friend. Hearing about her experiences with heartbreak, loss and family troubles was really moving and I found myself tearing up on more than one occasion.
I appreciated how honest her accounts were and it was so grounding to hear about how she made it to her dream job at DIVA after being stuck in a loop for so long! It was also really cool to read something so current - with pop culture references from 2024 and mentions of the pandemic, it was fascinating to read about it all through someone else's perspective!!
This book is a love letter to women and the LGBTQIA+ community, a beautiful reminder of the power we hold and the love we share. A must-read for young queer people who just want to feel seen and understood!
4 stars!
★★★★
June 14, 2025
I don’t read a lot of non-fiction, but this one caught my eye, so I thought I’d take a little break from all the sapphic smut (*ahem*) I’ve been consuming lately, and give this a go. So many of Roxy’s experiences were relatable to me, at times I could’ve believed she’d written it about me …starting with being that confused, closeted kid in denial in the 80s/90s, searching for answers to impossible-to-ask questions under section 28… through to having loved and lost the most incredible matriarch - my wonderful Nan.
I’ve never felt such a range of emotions reading a single book before - from actual rage (at the bloody patriarchy and the Thatcher government, so much anger I even had to put the book down for a bit), to real sadness, and so many laugh out loud moments.
It’s beautifully written — tender, funny, moving, inspirational and, oh so empowering. What a girl wants is one thing, what a girl needs is to read this book… Now!
I’ve never felt such a range of emotions reading a single book before - from actual rage (at the bloody patriarchy and the Thatcher government, so much anger I even had to put the book down for a bit), to real sadness, and so many laugh out loud moments.
It’s beautifully written — tender, funny, moving, inspirational and, oh so empowering. What a girl wants is one thing, what a girl needs is to read this book… Now!
May 25, 2025
LOVED LOVED LOVED! I read it in less than a weekend and I want all my sapphic friends to read it. So relatable - even down to being gay in rainy Queensland! Was lovely and heart warming to see femme representation - so many sections I was nodding and smiling to myself. It did feel slightly surface level in places, and the chapters were short. But it was enjoyable to read.
I also love how the author attends to the difference between things and experiences that lesbian or sapphic, and her anti-biphobic/bi-erasure support. I learned the first organiser of pride was a bi woman, statistics show that mental health and body imagine is worse in bi-people.
I need to read more sapphic memoirs!
I also love how the author attends to the difference between things and experiences that lesbian or sapphic, and her anti-biphobic/bi-erasure support. I learned the first organiser of pride was a bi woman, statistics show that mental health and body imagine is worse in bi-people.
I need to read more sapphic memoirs!
April 2, 2025
Thanks to NetGalley and Roxy Bourdillon for this ARC!
This was a really fun memoir to read! I enjoyed how many queer references were included and the way it almost felt quite blog-like in its friendliness and open heartedness. This would be such an incredible resource for younger queer people who are looking to feel seen in the books that they read. I personally found the tone of voice a little bit forced and because of that, there were points that felt a lot less earnest than others but that is definitely a personal preference thing, I can definitely see how it could be more easily accessible to other readers.
This was a really fun memoir to read! I enjoyed how many queer references were included and the way it almost felt quite blog-like in its friendliness and open heartedness. This would be such an incredible resource for younger queer people who are looking to feel seen in the books that they read. I personally found the tone of voice a little bit forced and because of that, there were points that felt a lot less earnest than others but that is definitely a personal preference thing, I can definitely see how it could be more easily accessible to other readers.
April 28, 2025
thank you to NetGalley and Pan Macmillan | Bluebird for the advanced digital copy!
this one is on shelves now.
--
honestly, i should have known this was going to be a banger the second that i read in the synopsis something about the author having a crush on jet from the american gladiators. i really love stories that explore all the gay stuff queer people did before ACTUALLY realizing that they're queer.
this was a tender book of essays that covered everything from determining that you're queer to coming out to heartbreak and then to compromising with a partner. but where i feel like bourdillon really excelled was in the heartbreaking loss of her grandmother, who was one of the only people in her family that loved and accepted her queerness.
i'm not really sure how i feel about the advice that she gave that when you choose to have a life, your life begins, but i do think it's inspiring the way that roxy got her job at DIVA and something about how it happens was enough to make me believe that maybe there's a little bit of magic in the world for us all. great read!
this one is on shelves now.
--
honestly, i should have known this was going to be a banger the second that i read in the synopsis something about the author having a crush on jet from the american gladiators. i really love stories that explore all the gay stuff queer people did before ACTUALLY realizing that they're queer.
this was a tender book of essays that covered everything from determining that you're queer to coming out to heartbreak and then to compromising with a partner. but where i feel like bourdillon really excelled was in the heartbreaking loss of her grandmother, who was one of the only people in her family that loved and accepted her queerness.
i'm not really sure how i feel about the advice that she gave that when you choose to have a life, your life begins, but i do think it's inspiring the way that roxy got her job at DIVA and something about how it happens was enough to make me believe that maybe there's a little bit of magic in the world for us all. great read!
September 14, 2025
Really powerful memoir
March 29, 2025
Thank you so much to the publishers & netgalley for this amazing read!
“From body image and mental health to love and loss, it's all in here and it's all straight from my heart.”
For lovers of Dolly Alderton’s Everything I Know About Love to anyone who is looking for a heart warming, funny, inspiring & touching read this ones for you.
I love this book with my whole heart. I laughed, I cried, i felt empowered and was hooked from the very beginning. It is an intriguing & relatable read no matter how you identify, I think any human can relate to Roxy Bourdillion’s wise words. As she states “Some lessons have to be lived to be learnt” and “most people are doing their best with their own limited experience of the world”.
I felt so empowered & inspired after reading this warm & welcoming memoir, that I was so sad when I had finished it. It was laugh out loud funny, easy to read, thought provoking and felt like I was just chatting to a friend over coffee. Lots of topics were discussed, some hard hitting but all done in a brilliant way, balancing the humour with the hurt beautifully, whilst all bringing so many issues to light and even though I don’t have the same life experiences and identify differently as the author, I felt heard & seen with the similarities we did share as a Woman but also felt compassion and anger for what she and others have had to deal with on top of everything else. I think this is a book everyone should read and it is relatable in some aspect, but whether you relate to it or not, there is something in it for everybody and maybe it will bring compassion for people to start being better humans to each other.
As the author says herself “It's a love letter to the defining women in my life, and most of them are not romances”, “The relationships I have had with remarkable women, whether a partner, friend or family member, have brought the most strength, meaning and beauty to my life”. It’s about self discovery, community, self acceptance, the importance of female friendships & love and how to be unapologetically you.
“However you identify, you deserve to feel seen, empowered and entertained” and this is exactly how Roxy Bourdillion made me feel reading this book and I cannot sum up it up any better.
“So, what does this girl want? Well, I want the world to be a kinder, safer place for me, my partner, for women and for every member of my glorious, diverse community.” I will be raving about this book to anyone that will listen
“From body image and mental health to love and loss, it's all in here and it's all straight from my heart.”
For lovers of Dolly Alderton’s Everything I Know About Love to anyone who is looking for a heart warming, funny, inspiring & touching read this ones for you.
I love this book with my whole heart. I laughed, I cried, i felt empowered and was hooked from the very beginning. It is an intriguing & relatable read no matter how you identify, I think any human can relate to Roxy Bourdillion’s wise words. As she states “Some lessons have to be lived to be learnt” and “most people are doing their best with their own limited experience of the world”.
I felt so empowered & inspired after reading this warm & welcoming memoir, that I was so sad when I had finished it. It was laugh out loud funny, easy to read, thought provoking and felt like I was just chatting to a friend over coffee. Lots of topics were discussed, some hard hitting but all done in a brilliant way, balancing the humour with the hurt beautifully, whilst all bringing so many issues to light and even though I don’t have the same life experiences and identify differently as the author, I felt heard & seen with the similarities we did share as a Woman but also felt compassion and anger for what she and others have had to deal with on top of everything else. I think this is a book everyone should read and it is relatable in some aspect, but whether you relate to it or not, there is something in it for everybody and maybe it will bring compassion for people to start being better humans to each other.
As the author says herself “It's a love letter to the defining women in my life, and most of them are not romances”, “The relationships I have had with remarkable women, whether a partner, friend or family member, have brought the most strength, meaning and beauty to my life”. It’s about self discovery, community, self acceptance, the importance of female friendships & love and how to be unapologetically you.
“However you identify, you deserve to feel seen, empowered and entertained” and this is exactly how Roxy Bourdillion made me feel reading this book and I cannot sum up it up any better.
“So, what does this girl want? Well, I want the world to be a kinder, safer place for me, my partner, for women and for every member of my glorious, diverse community.” I will be raving about this book to anyone that will listen
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 11, 2025
An engaging memoir with a compelling narrative; reading What a Girl Wants felt like sitting down to put the world to rights with a good friend. Bourdillon's style of writing is easy to enjoy, flowing from one personal point to the next whilst also linking those experiences with key cultural and political moments, such as the release of The L Word and Section 28.
I think LGBTQ+ millennials are likely to find at least one aspect of this book with which they can identify. In reality most will find more than just one aspect that resonates; I know I certainly did. From coming out to finding the Leeds gay scene, there is a plethora of aspects to explore in this book.
I was initially drawn to picking up What a Girl Wants for review due to the author's role as editor in chief of Diva magazine: as a subscriber I recognised the name immediately. Within the first few chapters I was hooked as it became apparent that we're not too far apart in age, home location, or indeed upbringing, which always makes a memoir that more interesting as a reader. I love the memoir genre for this exact reason: its books often have the ability to be both fascinating and validating - What a Girl Wants is no different.
At one stage in her story Bourdillon reflects on the word 'lesbian' - how it became weaponised by the patriarchy (amongst others), and the impact this had on her use of the word; these reuminations deeply resonated within me. To this day it is a word I dislike, and I completely recognise that comes as a direct result of my own lived experiences such as those Bourdillon shares with her audience.
What a Girl Wants is a nostalgia filled, personable, and deeply relatable book... which will without doubt stand the test of time, as every inspirational LGBTQ+ memoir should - our stories are more important now than ever.
I think LGBTQ+ millennials are likely to find at least one aspect of this book with which they can identify. In reality most will find more than just one aspect that resonates; I know I certainly did. From coming out to finding the Leeds gay scene, there is a plethora of aspects to explore in this book.
I was initially drawn to picking up What a Girl Wants for review due to the author's role as editor in chief of Diva magazine: as a subscriber I recognised the name immediately. Within the first few chapters I was hooked as it became apparent that we're not too far apart in age, home location, or indeed upbringing, which always makes a memoir that more interesting as a reader. I love the memoir genre for this exact reason: its books often have the ability to be both fascinating and validating - What a Girl Wants is no different.
At one stage in her story Bourdillon reflects on the word 'lesbian' - how it became weaponised by the patriarchy (amongst others), and the impact this had on her use of the word; these reuminations deeply resonated within me. To this day it is a word I dislike, and I completely recognise that comes as a direct result of my own lived experiences such as those Bourdillon shares with her audience.
What a Girl Wants is a nostalgia filled, personable, and deeply relatable book... which will without doubt stand the test of time, as every inspirational LGBTQ+ memoir should - our stories are more important now than ever.
March 24, 2025
Roxy Bourdillon’s What a Girl Wants is an engaging and deeply relatable read that feels a lot like having a conversation with a close friend.
Written in a clear and accessible style, Bourdillon’s voice is warm, conversational, and inviting, while still tackling deeper and more nuanced topics with insight and sincerity.
One of the book’s greatest strengths is its relatability.
Bourdillon’s experiences, though personal, resonate on a broader level, particularly for those who share similarities in age, upbringing, or life trajectory.
Her reflections on school life and feminism struck a particularly strong chord, painting a picture of experiences and struggles that feel familiar and validating.
Her journey into journalism, with all its challenges, was also particularly poignant - especially for readers from working-class backgrounds who have navigated similar barriers in breaking into the media industry.
Another compelling aspect of What a Girl Wants is how Bourdillon contextualises her personal experiences within wider cultural and political moments.
Her reflections on media milestones, such as the premiere of The L-Word, and political events, like the impact of Section 28, add layers of depth to her narrative.
These references provide a broader lens through which to understand her story, making it not just a personal memoir but also a reflection on cultural shifts and their effects on individual lives.
Overall, What a Girl Wants is an enjoyable, insightful, and highly relatable read.
For many queer millennials, I think it will strike an especially personal note, offering both nostalgia and validation.
Bourdillon’s ability to blend personal storytelling with cultural reflection makes this a book well worth picking up.
With thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Written in a clear and accessible style, Bourdillon’s voice is warm, conversational, and inviting, while still tackling deeper and more nuanced topics with insight and sincerity.
One of the book’s greatest strengths is its relatability.
Bourdillon’s experiences, though personal, resonate on a broader level, particularly for those who share similarities in age, upbringing, or life trajectory.
Her reflections on school life and feminism struck a particularly strong chord, painting a picture of experiences and struggles that feel familiar and validating.
Her journey into journalism, with all its challenges, was also particularly poignant - especially for readers from working-class backgrounds who have navigated similar barriers in breaking into the media industry.
Another compelling aspect of What a Girl Wants is how Bourdillon contextualises her personal experiences within wider cultural and political moments.
Her reflections on media milestones, such as the premiere of The L-Word, and political events, like the impact of Section 28, add layers of depth to her narrative.
These references provide a broader lens through which to understand her story, making it not just a personal memoir but also a reflection on cultural shifts and their effects on individual lives.
Overall, What a Girl Wants is an enjoyable, insightful, and highly relatable read.
For many queer millennials, I think it will strike an especially personal note, offering both nostalgia and validation.
Bourdillon’s ability to blend personal storytelling with cultural reflection makes this a book well worth picking up.
With thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
December 29, 2025
What a Girl Wants, by Roxy Bourdillon
“It can sometimes feel that there is a hierarchy of queerness and femmes are lower down the pecking order. Maybe it’s the gay version of old-fashioned misogyny, the belief that our perceived ‘femininity’ is innately lesser than, less serious, less valid, less authentically queer. Buying into this idea is buying into the same sexist bullshit that’s been screwing women over for centuries. It can absolutely be empowering to embrace a particular gender non-conforming aesthetic, but we also need to hold space for LGBTQIA people to express themselves in whatever way feels good for them, without judgment.”
Autobiography by the editor-in chief of DIVA, “the world’s leading magazine for LGBTQIA+ women and non-binary people.” She tells of her child-hood, coming out as a lesbian (not a single event, but a series of revelations to different groups of people) working through dead-end jobs, finding love, and eventually working for the magazine that helped her in her early years.
“I am lucky enough to interview hundreds of remarkable creatives. I have discovered the number one reason incredible queer people make groundbreaking books, shows, films and music is to create the representation they desperately needed when they were younger but did not see. In doing so, they heal something deep within themselves, while also healing others like them.”
Fascinating view into a world unfamiliar to me. I learned quite a bit, including what ‘scissoring’ is and the activities of bonobos. Worthwhile reading, not just for people on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, but for everyone.
“It can sometimes feel that there is a hierarchy of queerness and femmes are lower down the pecking order. Maybe it’s the gay version of old-fashioned misogyny, the belief that our perceived ‘femininity’ is innately lesser than, less serious, less valid, less authentically queer. Buying into this idea is buying into the same sexist bullshit that’s been screwing women over for centuries. It can absolutely be empowering to embrace a particular gender non-conforming aesthetic, but we also need to hold space for LGBTQIA people to express themselves in whatever way feels good for them, without judgment.”
Autobiography by the editor-in chief of DIVA, “the world’s leading magazine for LGBTQIA+ women and non-binary people.” She tells of her child-hood, coming out as a lesbian (not a single event, but a series of revelations to different groups of people) working through dead-end jobs, finding love, and eventually working for the magazine that helped her in her early years.
“I am lucky enough to interview hundreds of remarkable creatives. I have discovered the number one reason incredible queer people make groundbreaking books, shows, films and music is to create the representation they desperately needed when they were younger but did not see. In doing so, they heal something deep within themselves, while also healing others like them.”
Fascinating view into a world unfamiliar to me. I learned quite a bit, including what ‘scissoring’ is and the activities of bonobos. Worthwhile reading, not just for people on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, but for everyone.
May 21, 2025
What A Girl Wants by Roxy Bourdillon: A (true) story of sexuality and self-discovery 💖
'From the suburbs of Leeds to the streets of Sydney, from the queer clubs of London to a quiet life by the sea, through love, family, friendship and heartache, join Roxy Bourdillon on a journey to work out exactly who she is.
What a Girl Wants is the perfect read for anyone who’s searched for their place in the world, for anyone who’s ever been catcalled, anyone who's despaired about their body, fallen in love, had their heart broken and found friends who can put it back together.
From overcoming shame and finding your tribe, to surviving the dating scene and learning to really express yourself, this is a book about joy, empowerment and freedom.'
🎀💖🎀💖🎀💖🎀💖🎀💖🎀💖🎀💖🎀💖🎀
This book was such a joy to read! The way Roxy writes and shares her journey is so captivating, honest and emotional. Although some parts were upsetting to read it was balanced out well with plenty of laugh out loud moments too.
Roxy's self-discovery spans over more than a decade, where she talks us through her experiences as a woman who discovers she loves women, at a time when society was very homophobic. Always keen to people please Roxy sacrifices her own happiness for a very long time.
I experienced so many emotions reading this book, exhilarated and comforted through the highs, then sad and unsettled by the lows, but when Roxy finally embraces herself and her sexuality great things start to happen! And the overwhelming sense of happiness I had for Roxy when she finally landed her dream job - at DIVA - was the best! 🥹
Roxy's personality shines bright throughout this whole book ✨️ and her sense of humour is infectious! I love how she courageously bares her soul, and welcomes us readers along on her journey.
Overall I thought this was a very inspiring and thought-provoking read that had me invested from the start 💖 and in the words of Roxy 'You absolutely don't have to be gay to enjoy this book.'
Thank you so much @panmacmillan for sending me a copy of this beautiful book 🫶🏼
'From the suburbs of Leeds to the streets of Sydney, from the queer clubs of London to a quiet life by the sea, through love, family, friendship and heartache, join Roxy Bourdillon on a journey to work out exactly who she is.
What a Girl Wants is the perfect read for anyone who’s searched for their place in the world, for anyone who’s ever been catcalled, anyone who's despaired about their body, fallen in love, had their heart broken and found friends who can put it back together.
From overcoming shame and finding your tribe, to surviving the dating scene and learning to really express yourself, this is a book about joy, empowerment and freedom.'
🎀💖🎀💖🎀💖🎀💖🎀💖🎀💖🎀💖🎀💖🎀
This book was such a joy to read! The way Roxy writes and shares her journey is so captivating, honest and emotional. Although some parts were upsetting to read it was balanced out well with plenty of laugh out loud moments too.
Roxy's self-discovery spans over more than a decade, where she talks us through her experiences as a woman who discovers she loves women, at a time when society was very homophobic. Always keen to people please Roxy sacrifices her own happiness for a very long time.
I experienced so many emotions reading this book, exhilarated and comforted through the highs, then sad and unsettled by the lows, but when Roxy finally embraces herself and her sexuality great things start to happen! And the overwhelming sense of happiness I had for Roxy when she finally landed her dream job - at DIVA - was the best! 🥹
Roxy's personality shines bright throughout this whole book ✨️ and her sense of humour is infectious! I love how she courageously bares her soul, and welcomes us readers along on her journey.
Overall I thought this was a very inspiring and thought-provoking read that had me invested from the start 💖 and in the words of Roxy 'You absolutely don't have to be gay to enjoy this book.'
Thank you so much @panmacmillan for sending me a copy of this beautiful book 🫶🏼
February 2, 2025
This was a really engaging read, that felt a lot like chatting to a friend. Bourdillon writes in a really clear and accessible way, that was conversational while still being able to discuss deeper and more nuanced topics.
I found a lot of this book very relatable! Bourdillon is older than me, but we’re close enough in age, upbringing, and life experiences, that I saw a lot of myself in the things she discussed. Particularly the way she talked about her (then closeted) queerness influencing her teenage years, her time at school, and her approach to feminism, all rang very true.
📚Blog📖YouTube📖Instagram📚
I also really liked how she drew on wider cultural moments to retrospectively put her experiences in context. Some of them were media related, such as the premiere of The L-Word, and some of them were political, such as Section 28. I thought it was really interesting how she looked back at the different things that had impacted her life, and really added to the story she was telling.
Overall this was a very enjoyable and relatable read, that will hit very close to home for many queer millennials!
I received a free copy for an honest review.
I found a lot of this book very relatable! Bourdillon is older than me, but we’re close enough in age, upbringing, and life experiences, that I saw a lot of myself in the things she discussed. Particularly the way she talked about her (then closeted) queerness influencing her teenage years, her time at school, and her approach to feminism, all rang very true.
📚Blog📖YouTube📖Instagram📚
I also really liked how she drew on wider cultural moments to retrospectively put her experiences in context. Some of them were media related, such as the premiere of The L-Word, and some of them were political, such as Section 28. I thought it was really interesting how she looked back at the different things that had impacted her life, and really added to the story she was telling.
Overall this was a very enjoyable and relatable read, that will hit very close to home for many queer millennials!
I received a free copy for an honest review.
May 28, 2025
This memoir of a northern English lesbian and her exploration of life and sexuality was so readable. Bourdillon went to school in the duration of Section 28, a law in the UK that saw LGBTQ+ lives banned from the curriculum. This obviously impacted her, and so many others, in a much deeper way than the victims could realise at the time.
Thankfully Section 28 is currently repealed, let's hope it stays that way!
This memoir really does feel like Roxy is just having a chat with you, you've met her in a pub and she's slightly tipsy and she's telling you all about her life. Her heartbreak, grief and mental health issues, but also her joy, love, and career success when things seemed most low.
Bourdillon manages to relate her own personal experience to wider cultural moments for the LGBTQ+ community, such as representation in media, legalising marriage, and more. They allow the reader to place themselves in time, but also allow them to reflect on how these events actually impacted a real person.
I really hope that this book is released in an author-narrated audiobook one day as I think that would be an absolutely fantastic way to consume this story. This was a great read and one I'm glad to be adding to my non-fiction shelf.
Thankfully Section 28 is currently repealed, let's hope it stays that way!
This memoir really does feel like Roxy is just having a chat with you, you've met her in a pub and she's slightly tipsy and she's telling you all about her life. Her heartbreak, grief and mental health issues, but also her joy, love, and career success when things seemed most low.
Bourdillon manages to relate her own personal experience to wider cultural moments for the LGBTQ+ community, such as representation in media, legalising marriage, and more. They allow the reader to place themselves in time, but also allow them to reflect on how these events actually impacted a real person.
I really hope that this book is released in an author-narrated audiobook one day as I think that would be an absolutely fantastic way to consume this story. This was a great read and one I'm glad to be adding to my non-fiction shelf.
April 2, 2025
Not being part of the LGBTQi community this was a real eye opener. I felt disappointed in myself for my ignorance of not realising how truly hard it can be. In my naive world, everyone is accepted no matter what so it's heartbreaking hear the prejudice that still happens.
I found the humour side of this biography a bit too much on occasions but it's a book I am glad to have read.
I loved all the 90's references, being just a little older than Roxy, it was very nostalgic. I particularly connected to her when it comes to grief, I have never read anything before that describes the raw overwhelming pain that true loss feels like at the time and for years after, I will remember how Roxy let her loved one pass with stories of happiness forever, and intend on doing the same myself when the awful inevitable happens again.
Thank you #NetGalley for this arc. 3.5 stars rounded to 4.
I found the humour side of this biography a bit too much on occasions but it's a book I am glad to have read.
I loved all the 90's references, being just a little older than Roxy, it was very nostalgic. I particularly connected to her when it comes to grief, I have never read anything before that describes the raw overwhelming pain that true loss feels like at the time and for years after, I will remember how Roxy let her loved one pass with stories of happiness forever, and intend on doing the same myself when the awful inevitable happens again.
Thank you #NetGalley for this arc. 3.5 stars rounded to 4.
May 14, 2025
A funny, thoughtful, and chatty memoir that discusses self discovery, acceptance, and love. A wonderful mix of funny, uplifting, sad, and introspective moments. It is a great read if you are LGBTQIA+ but also so much of this book is about womanhood and daily life. I also think it is important to mention that this book is very inclusive of trans and nonbinary people. Roxy’s story was incredibly inspiring and comforting, while also making me laugh, I sometimes struggle to read memoirs (I usually listen to the audiobooks) but I read this one really fast and couldn’t put it down. I haven’t listened to the audiobook but I did hear Roxy narrate a passage and I think the audiobook will be great, I definitely plan on listening to it!
Thank you @bookbreakuk and @booksbybluebird for the proof copy and finished copy!
Thank you @bookbreakuk and @booksbybluebird for the proof copy and finished copy!
June 5, 2025
Who we are when no one is watching
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In this gorgeous, generous and funny memoir, Bourdillon uses biographical writing to illuminate the real lives and worlds of lesbians. Never not trying to keep the reader engaged and entertained, the author also includes facts and figures, research and reportage to round out the personal into the social and the societal.
First off, nothing is off the table. From teenage lists and browser histories, to the pros and cons of scissoring, Bourdillon takes us on a very British ride through all kinds of lesbianness, taking in Sydney Mardi Gras, Soho bar hopping and peaceful Hastings beach visits, to show us that being a lesbian is both a) full of stereotypes, and b) a whole load of other stuff besides. Joyful, direct and innovative, this is for everyone and anyone.
—
In this gorgeous, generous and funny memoir, Bourdillon uses biographical writing to illuminate the real lives and worlds of lesbians. Never not trying to keep the reader engaged and entertained, the author also includes facts and figures, research and reportage to round out the personal into the social and the societal.
First off, nothing is off the table. From teenage lists and browser histories, to the pros and cons of scissoring, Bourdillon takes us on a very British ride through all kinds of lesbianness, taking in Sydney Mardi Gras, Soho bar hopping and peaceful Hastings beach visits, to show us that being a lesbian is both a) full of stereotypes, and b) a whole load of other stuff besides. Joyful, direct and innovative, this is for everyone and anyone.
April 18, 2025
What A Girl Wants by Roxy Bourdillon is a funny, fresh, and insightful journey of her self-discovery and sexuality and I loved it.
Honestly, reading this book was like sitting across from your bestie in a cosy coffee shop and putting the world to rights.
Roxy comes across as warm and big hearted, and I could have easily read another 200 pages.
The conversational tone of this book had me laughing out loud one moment and then welling up the next. Important themes such as homophobia and patriarchy are talked about candidly, and I found Roxy's no shit attitude refreshing. I'd highly recommend What A Girl Wants to absolutely everybody but especially for women, whatever their sexuality as it encapsulates womanhood perfectly.
Warm, funny, and oh so relatable I had the best time with What A Girl Wants.
Honestly, reading this book was like sitting across from your bestie in a cosy coffee shop and putting the world to rights.
Roxy comes across as warm and big hearted, and I could have easily read another 200 pages.
The conversational tone of this book had me laughing out loud one moment and then welling up the next. Important themes such as homophobia and patriarchy are talked about candidly, and I found Roxy's no shit attitude refreshing. I'd highly recommend What A Girl Wants to absolutely everybody but especially for women, whatever their sexuality as it encapsulates womanhood perfectly.
Warm, funny, and oh so relatable I had the best time with What A Girl Wants.
April 19, 2025
I finished reading this uplifting and hilarious story of sexuality and self-discovery last night; I never expected this book to make me feel so empowered and punching the air one minute, to then have me crying and reaching for my emotional support blanket in the next chapter - it’s a fast paced, exuberant read and I loved every word.
What a Girl Wants is Roxy’s experience of growing up gay in the 90’s - when in Britain LGBTQ+ was banned from being mentioned in schools, when same sex marriage was still not legal and representation in films/books/tv was limited. Reading this book takes you on a journey, not only of Roxy’s story but also how England and the world started to woke the f*ck up to LGBTQ* rights.
I loved reading this one - a book that should be read by all. Thank you to the author and publishers for my advanced copy and I really hope Roxy will sign my copy this evening.
What a Girl Wants is Roxy’s experience of growing up gay in the 90’s - when in Britain LGBTQ+ was banned from being mentioned in schools, when same sex marriage was still not legal and representation in films/books/tv was limited. Reading this book takes you on a journey, not only of Roxy’s story but also how England and the world started to woke the f*ck up to LGBTQ* rights.
I loved reading this one - a book that should be read by all. Thank you to the author and publishers for my advanced copy and I really hope Roxy will sign my copy this evening.
March 17, 2025
Such a lovely memoir! It was funny and emotional, and I found myself relating to it a lot. I really enjoyed the writing style of this as it felt so personal while still discussing her experiences in a wider social and political context. Overall an enjoyable and moving read!
Thank you NetGalley for the early copy!
Thank you NetGalley for the early copy!
March 17, 2025
What an absolute delight of a heartwarming, life affirming book. Roxy writes with such warmth, tenderness and humour, this book was like a big nostalgic hug. A truly beautiful and vulnerable exploration of sexuality and womanhood. Highly recommend!
A huge thank you to Roxy Bourdillon, Pan Macmillan | Bluebird & NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for the honest review.
A huge thank you to Roxy Bourdillon, Pan Macmillan | Bluebird & NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for the honest review.
June 18, 2025
Heartfelt and funny, Roxy's memoir about coming out and finding herself (ultimately becoming in her own words a 'proffessional lesbian') is a great read for queer women and allies alike. She covers a lot of topics with a lot of care and naunce, including dating, sex, grief, body image and lesbian stereotypes.
October 1, 2025
Full of funny and witty memories growing up as a closeted lesbian there’s much to relate to. The book also delves into the problems we still have in the lgbtqia community and how these fundamentally effects us all in one way or another.
December 4, 2025
A open and honest read, all the emotions, ups and downs. The book charts Roxy growing up and navigating sexuality, finding your people, heartbreak, deadend jobs to career fulfillment and mysoginy - however you identify, Rixyd writing will have you reflecting on life and society.
May 9, 2025
I LOVED this book. It had everything from body image to grief to acceptance
May 15, 2025
2.5⭐️
Unfortunately, this just wasn’t for me. I found it quite slow, boring and nothing new was said.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.
Unfortunately, this just wasn’t for me. I found it quite slow, boring and nothing new was said.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.
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