The Once and Future Me

by Melissa Pace

Goodreads Choice Award: Nominee for Readers' Favorite Science Fiction (2025)
Dark Matter meets Girl, Interrupted in this spellbinding psychological thriller about a young woman teetering between two realities.

Believe in your present, you might save yourself
Believe in your future, you might just save the world

Virginia November 12th, 1954: A young woman wakes, agitated and confused, on a patient transport bus arriving at Hanover State Psychiatric Hospital. She remembers nothing of her life before that moment, none of the dark things she must've seen—and done—to have forged her into such a skilled and cunning fighter.

Once she's been subdued, doctors explain that she's Dorothy Frasier, a paranoid schizophrenic, committed by the state to Hanover for treatments they hope will quell her increasingly violent and grandiose delusions. She’s certain they’re wrong—until disturbing visions begin to invade her reality: of a dystopian future where frantic scientists urge her to do whatever it takes to complete "the mission" and save humankind. Convinced it's Hanover causing the hallucinations, she tells no one, focuses only on escape—

Until there's a visitor, a man whose loving face and touch she remembers, a man who knows all about her visions because he's spent years helping her cope with them: her husband, Paul Frasier.

Now she's sure of nothing, caught between two possible lives. Two realities. Believe in the future, and she might save the world. Believe in her doctors and Paul, and she might save herself. She's desperate for answers, but to get them she'll need to harness the darkness inside her, risking her freedom, her mind, and ultimately her life in a harrowing quest for the truth.

Genres: Science Fiction, Thriller, Fiction, Horror, Mystery, Mystery Thriller, Time Travel

384 pages, Hardcover

First published August 19, 2025

About the author

A graduate of Wesleyan University, Melissa Pace is a former editor and writer for Elle magazine, as well as a past finalist in the Humanitas New Voices fellowship for television and screenwriters. The mother of three amazing children, Pace lives with her husband in Los Angeles, and when not writing, likes to lace up her cleats and get all her ya-ya's out on its soccer fields. The Once and Future Me is her first novel. Connect with her on Instagram or Threads @melissadugganpace.

Reviews

[Yun · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have to be honest, this is a case where the story on the pages just wasn't as interesting as the premise would lead you to believe.

Dorothy wakes up in 1954 on a transport bus bound for Hanover State Psychiatric Hospital. She has no memory of who she is, but the one thing she does know is that she isn’t Dorothy. She has visions of a future where she’s someone named Bix sent back to 1954 on a mission to save the world. But the longer she's held at Hanover, the more she is forced into believing she is Dorothy. So which version in her mind is real—Dorothy or Bix?

That’s a cool premise, right? There's so much potential here, so many different ways this story could've unfolded that's both brilliant and riveting. But unfortunately, none of those things happened and what we end up with is surprisingly banal.

One of the major problems here is that we spend too long in Dorothy's head as she's subjected to endless psychiatric treatments while trying to puzzle out the question of whether she’s really from the future. Now, this would've been more interesting to us readers if we shared the same puzzle, but we don't. We know she's from the future because otherwise, what kind of pointless nonstory would this be? She'd just be a mental patient making everything up, which could be a story, but not this one because this one's billed as sci-fi. So it’s clear to us what's going on right from the beginning even if it’s not clear to Dorothy, but we still have to stick around for 200 pages while she figures it out.

But that's fine. I'm not against a long setup if it means the payoff is spectacular. But here again, it was inexplicably disappointing. Instead of choosing to flesh out the sci-fi and speculative elements of this book (the whole reason I'm reading this), we choose to focus on one action scene after another—of running, crouching, hiding, dodging—interspersed with the sort of no show all tell infodump that makes me want to abandon reading as a hobby.

Tabula Rasa, Reckoner, Reclamation, The Guest, New Covenant—it all certainly sounds impressive, I'll give you that. But just because you name some simple concepts with important sounding words doesn’t make it any more compelling, and that’s never been more true than here. While the terms might sound fancy, I can’t help but feel that they’re thinly veiled disguises for just how poorly sketched out the future really is.

Then there is Dorothy, secret agent extraordinaire, except she keeps messing things up during crucial moments. She needs to slowly walk across the field to avoid attention? Oh no, she panics and breaks into a run and everyone notices. She has the key and just needs to get to the door and escape? Oh no, she accidentally screams and alerts everyone. She has to read a secret message on a piece of paper and then destroy it? Oh no, she leaves it face up across the room for all to see. Like, come on! What kind of dumb fuckery is that.

But it wasn't that bad, if you can believe it. Even with my long list of complaints, this somehow managed to remain a three-star read until almost the very end. At that point, we are hit with the most lazy non-ending I have ever come across. One of the final lines of this book is Dorothy asking herself:

Will I be able to pull it off? . . . Don't know.

And that's the end, ladies and gentlemen. Like what the heck! Where is the payoff, the resolution, the closure? I'm having a hard time believing this isn't some sort of joke, but no, it's all written there in black and white, clear as day. So yeah, I'm going to have to deduct a star for that.

It took me a bit, but towards the end, I finally figured out what was so off about this story. It's constructed like the pilot of a tv series. Each scene is there for maximum tension, all the while not actually giving you much nor moving the plot forward. It tries to stretch the thinnest of plotlines into the most number of episodes, and it even ends on a cliffhanger just to entice you back. No, thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
✧ Connect with me ✧ Instagram ✧

[Nilufer Ozmekik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Famous Ryan Murphy productions (including AHS-Asylum, Grotesquerie, and Nurse Ratched) meet "Upgrade" combined with several bizarre episodes of "Black Mirror" in this book's plot! While reminiscent of these works, the concept remains fresh, keeping you on the edge of your seat, biting your nails, and questioning what's real and what's delusional. I devoured this book like popcorn with cosmos, flipping pages until my arms couldn't hold my e-reader, my eyes bloodshot, my back molded to the couch! The long, nonstop reading session is absolutely worth it! Let's applaud this debut author and add her to the auto-approve list for future releases.

The book opens on a transport bus carrying women to Hanover State Psychiatric Hospital. We meet a young woman whose ID tag reads Dorothy Frasier, though she has no memory of her identity. Sitting next to her is a redheaded woman murmuring Bible passages. When this woman suddenly grabs her red purse, Dorothy (our amnesiac patient) screams and gives chase, leading to a commotion where she resists hospital personnel with surprising combat skills, demonstrating knowledge of lock-picking and escape routes that make us question whether she's a spy or contract killer.
While attempting to escape using a hairpin, she suffers a seizure and awakens in a bed covered in wires, surrounded by people claiming she's from 2035. They say she's connected to a Time Machine and has been sent to 1954 to find a doctor who might have discovered a cure for a deadly future pandemic. After Dorothy (known in the future as Bix) returns to 1954 and Hanover Hospital, her confusion deepens. Is she truly a time traveler on a mission to save humanity from a deadly virus, or is she Dorothy Frasier, married to Paul, her devoted husband who worries about her schizophrenia and Capgras syndrome?

Her husband believes she should be transferred from Ward A to the Unit for special treatment by Dr. Sherman and his team. But what if this special treatment isn't about silencing the voices in her head, but inflicting permanent brain damage? Their methods, ranging from increasing electroshock therapy to lobotomy, threaten to erase her entire memory. Is she truly ill, or is she the victim of sinister doctors with hidden agendas? What's real and what's delusion? And most importantly, who is she really – Dorothy or Bix? Was the woman who stole her purse containing her link to the future real, or another figment of her imagination?

Wow! Especially during the first third and hospital chapters, I felt my remaining brain cells might burst into flames! There's still smoke coming from my head!

This heart-pounding psychological thriller meets dystopian sci-fi had me jumping in my seat and screaming at the pages! The building pressure creates a claustrophobic feeling of walls closing in, making it a truly thrilling ride you shouldn't miss!

Many thanks to NetGalley and Henry Holt & Company for sharing this psychological thriller's digital review copy with me in exchange for my honest thoughts.

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[Summer · Rating 5 out of 5]

2025 has been a great year for unique works of fiction and The Once and Future Me is another stellar original work!

The Once and Future Me is a mind bending tale that blends science fiction, historical fiction, and psychological thriller. It would be impossible to compare this to any other work but if Blake Crouch’s Dark Matter and Ken Kelsey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest had a baby, it would be The Once and Future Me.

Historically speaking, we know mental institutions have had a sordid history of treating patients, and especially women, inhumanely. The Once and Future Me takes a deep dive into this and you can tell the author thoroughly did her research.

Gripping, disturbing, and with a feminist twist, I found The Once and Future Me to be a highly entertaining roller coaster ride and I enjoyed every minute of reading it. And that ending, it truly left me breathless!

The Once and Future Me by Melissa Pace will be available on August 19. Many thanks to Henry Holt Books for the gifted copy!

[SinsandScares · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Publication Date: August 19, 2025

What an absolute mind-f of a book! I loved this so much that I couldn’t bring myself to read the final few pages for days because I just didn’t want it to end. This was such a gripping, immersive read that I was genuinely unsure whether Dorothy was actually Dorothy Frasier or a time traveler from the future. The psychological tension, the historical setting, and the dystopian elements all blended together perfectly to create an unforgettable experience.

Dorothy is a fantastic protagonist, and her struggle between two possible realities was masterfully written. I felt every ounce of her confusion and desperation. The one thing that didn’t fully work for me was the characters from the possible future. While we’re told that Dorothy cares about them, we don’t spend enough time with them to really feel that connection. I wish those relationships had been fleshed out more rather than just being told they mattered.

Now, let’s talk about the ending. If there’s one thing that will make readers scream, it’s that. It felt more like the end of a chapter than the end of a book, and I was left yelling, “What the f-! It can’t end there!” If a second book were available, I’d be downloading it immediately. Unfortunately, this book isn’t even out yet, so we’ll most likely be waiting a while.

But even with that ending, I can’t recommend this book enough. Dystopian world, mental asylums, U.S. history, time travel. It has everything. This a book that I won’t stop pushing on everyone I know. Easily a 4.5-star read, rounded up to 5.

Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt and Co. for the eARC. All opinions are my own.

[Caroline · Rating 2 out of 5]

***SPOILERS HIDDEN***

In this debut novel by Melissa Pace a woman diagnosed with schizophrenia is admitted to a prison-like psychiatric hospital in 1954. She’s positive she’s fine and shouldn’t be there. The name everyone calls her, “Dorothy Frasier,” isn’t hers—she’s sure of it—and a voice in her head continually commands her to hurry up and complete an urgent mission. Her loving husband assures her she’s sick and hearing things. It’s the ultimate unreliable-narrator set-up, and Pace successfully shows how this mental tug-of-war can cause deep confusion.

This blend of realistic fiction, dystopian, and (light) science fiction is informally organized into two parts with a tiny bit of overlap, and the first part, which is the majority of the novel, is less gripping than the second. Readers languish in the boring psychiatric hospital along with Dorothy, reading from her first-person point of view. In between scenes showing her resisting and sometimes assaulting staff, she describes hallways, doors, locks, psychiatric treatments, doctors, and other patients. Every employee is a caricature of abusive hospital staff, not just strict but heartless. These characters are mere props, too indistinct to keep straight; however, their interchangeability as flat villains also makes keeping them straight unimportant.

These 1954 scenes are punctuated by those showing Dorothy experiencing sudden “episodes” that whisk her out of her 1954 life into a supposed life in 2035. She’s a different person there: Beatrix “Bix” Parrish, a cutthroat soldier in a plague-ridden world, one she doesn’t remember. Is this real or just a hallucination?

The Once and Future Me ignites in its second part. Pace rushed through it, but she’s in her element writing action and chilling dystopia, and the inclusion of a highly contagious plague makes part two instantly relatable to readers. Further ratcheting up the terror is a vengeful, murderous cult leader who reigns over scores of worshipful young followers, immune to the virus until they reach age twenty-five. Woe to those who cross him; they can expect to be hunted down and horribly executed (fortunately only implied). The author didn’t do all she could with this sophisticated reality, or come close to fully utilizing the villainy, but unlike in part one, stakes at least feel high.

Uneven pacing and an ineffectively structured plot really hold back Pace’s book, though. Part one is stretched out while taking forever to give the reader even a morsel of a clue toward understanding the mystery. It’s so yawn-inducing, patience-testing, and repetitive that Pace needed to shorten it by half. Part two is packed with unusual scenes, riveting action sequences, and so much complex information that she needed to double it. This later section is a different story in every way, at times ablaze with excitement, suspense, and interesting (though also shallowly developed) personalities. Answers to the mystery pour out.

The Once and Future Me is the kind of debut that shows a new author “has potential” but is obviously a rookie. Her book isn’t “Dark Matter meets Girl, Interrupted,” as the marketing claims. Her protagonist’s occasional interactions with some other patients serve a purpose but aren’t defining features. Pace called forth the era-appropriate patient abuse but didn’t make Dorothy any more human than she did other characters, so depictions of various medical and behavioral treatments lack emotional power. And although this book features time travel, it’s a straightforward moving back and forth, not jumps into parallel universes as in Dark Matter.

Scenes of telling instead of showing abound, the worst of these being something that’s always silly yet unfortunately popular in storytelling: the villain monologue. After trapping the protagonist, the villain shares the blow-by-blow details of their plan and its execution, from the start to their victorious present point, as if villains don’t kill long-pursued victims at the first opportunity. In The Once and Future Me the monologue is a little different but just as ridiculous (and, it could be argued, more unforgivable). It consists of long and detailed backstory that illuminates another, more malevolent villain’s motivations.

Pace explains her dystopia in further information-dumping when characters in 2035 give Bix vital background information about the plague virus in blocks of explanation. To fix all the telling the author would have had to retool a lot of her book, but writing a high-quality story demands work, sometimes with many trips back to square one.

The book ends with some plot points begging for development, if not full-on addressing. This would be too stunning a flaw even for this imperfect book; it feels like Pace is hinting that she’s not finished with this world and is developing a series. If so, book two is guaranteed to be an improvement simply because she exhausted the boring psychiatric-hospital setting in book one, so it wouldn’t need to be in book two. But a lot more needs to happen in a book two for The Once and Future Me to be worth reading. Pace’s fictional world will never rise above middling if her characters don’t become multi-dimensional and if they don’t move around in a properly paced story arc. And it will never come close to deeply, richly realized if she doesn’t show instead of tell. A book two would have to do all these things, ideally more, for readers to bother reading The Once and Future Me and forgive all that’s ho-hum.

NOTE: I received this as an Advance Reader Copy from LibraryThing in May 2025.

[Holden Wunders · Rating 1 out of 5]

I very rarely give a one star and giving a book a bad rating is the worst feeling in the world especially for a debut authour, but when something is marketed better than reading the actual book, the review becomes the least of my worries.

The Once and Future Me had the ability to be it all! From the fun cover art to the (albeit a bit shaky) premise, a little scifi mixed with a “hysterical woman” plotline, the commentary had the makings of a great book, but that was unfortunately the furthest we got when it comes to execution.

Science fiction means the world to me and find it’s done poorly so often, from a lack of understanding of the genre to the lackadaisical writing in terms of social commentary and BIG themes. There was an attempt here on those themes from misogyny and how we inherently treat women in our society, ableism. survivors guilt, a whole pandemic, etc but the lack of ability was so great that it often felt like a fan fiction. I understand this is the first attempt but this is something I’d expect to read online, not in a published book.

Instead of hitting the theme of misogyny, it hits the reader over the end with a big ol’ BOINK. The ableism actually turned itself on its head and delved into being ableist instead of trying to dispose of it. The pandemic storyline was so frustrating especially when referencing Covid as something we have “handled.” As a disabled person, so many of these plot lines felt so offensive and frustrating. Nothing was really delved into but rather sat at the surface, from themes to technical style to world building. It was clear that the authour had big dreams and big takes on the story which I wholly admire, but didn’t have the ability to do anything with them.

Not only were there issues with the “commentary” or lack there of but the writing was incredibly difficult to get through. Not because the themes weren’t there or that it was hard to understand, it was just poorly written. I despise comparing it to fan fiction but that’s the best I can do. The majority of this book was written in dialogue (I’m talking 90%) and that gets extremely exhausting to read and it ends up doing little in terms of world building, action, or anything else besides feeling juvenile in terms of skill. The world building was non existent, thank you dialogue, that even a time traveling storyline had me rolling my eyes because we needed the “science” part of science fiction, right? Our science fiction terminology was boiled down to words “football” for tech and “yoloyear,” as a science fiction lover I wanted to scream.

There are some things you want to love but I even lost the urge to try to love this after the halfway point and just fell into hatred. I’m tired of my favourite genre being seen as an “easy in” to the industry and wish this would’ve stayed in the drafts or at the very least, gone through 5 more editors who actually had the authours best interest at heart.

[Abolfazl Nasri · Rating 5 out of 5]

از همان صفحه‌های اول با یک ضربه‌ی روانی/روایی مخاطب را خلع‌سلاح می‌کند؛ روایتی که با مرگ شروع می‌شود اما نه‌تنها پایان نیست، بلکه به دقیق‌ترین شکل ممکن نقطه‌ی ورود به یک مارپیچ هویت، حافظه، گناه، سرنوشت و تاریخِ پنهان است. کتابی که به‌جای تکیه بر پیچش‌های سطحی، استخوانِ ماجرا را از دل روان آدمی بیرون می‌کشد و از همان لحظه‌ای که شخصیت اصلی روی صندلی آن اتوبوس بیدار می‌شود، خواننده را داخل تله‌ای می‌اندازد که تا پایان نمی‌شود از آن فرار کرد.
پیس با دقت جراحی، دنیای بیمارستان روانی هانووِر را می‌سازد؛ فضایی پر از سایه، کنترل، اختلال قدرت، خشونت سفیدپوش و بیمارانِ به‌ظاهر فراموش‌شده‌ی تاریخ. اما نبوغ نویسنده فقط در ساخت فضا نیست—در این است که مرز میان توهم و واقعیت را چنان ریز می‌تراشد که خواننده مثل خود شخصیت اصلی، مدام احساس لغزش کند. تو تا صفحات زیادی نمی‌دانی چه کسی راست می‌گوید، چه کسی دروغ؛ نمی‌دانی قهرمان قصه قربانی است یا خطرناک؛ نمی‌دانی چه چیزی واقعیت دارد و چه چیزی ساخته‌ی یک ذهنِ آسیب‌دیده یا شاید هم مقاوم.
قدرت کتاب در همین است: تو در ذهن یک شخصیت گیر می‌کنی، ذهنی که خودش هم از خودش مطمئن نیست.
فضاسازی‌ها دقیق، دردناک، حسی و درخشان‌اند. کتاب نه با خشونت مستقیم که با خشونت محیطی وحشت می‌سازد: نگاه‌های خالی، درهای قفل‌شده، پله‌های زیرزمینی، حمام‌های گروهی، اتاق‌های انفرادی با قفل‌های قابل‌هک و نظام روان‌پزشکی دهه ۵۰ که در آن درمان و شکنجه فاصله‌ای یک‌انگشتی دارند. این ریزبینی باعث می‌شود که هر سکانس، حتی عادی‌ترینش، بوی تهدید بدهد.
اما چیزی که کتاب را به سطح «جهنمی عالی» می‌برد، باز شدن تدریجی هویت شخصیت اصلی است؛ لایه‌به‌لایه، تیز و وسواسی. هر خاطره‌ی پنهان، هر تکه‌ی تصویر، هر واکنش ناخودآگاه، مثل پیدا کردن تکه‌های یک معمای بزرگ‌تر است؛ معمایی درباره‌ی این‌که "کی بودی؟" و "چرا به این‌جا رسیدی؟" و "چه چیزهایی از یادت رفته که اگر یادت بیاید همه‌چیز را ویران می‌کند؟"
پیس به شکل حیرت‌انگیزی شخصیت‌پردازی می‌کند:
ـ قهرمانی که در آستانه‌ی نابودی و در حال بازسازی خویشتن است.
ـ پزشکانی که هم نجات‌بخش‌اند و هم شکنجه‌گر.
ـ بیمارانی که هم قربانی‌اند و هم آینه‌ی تمام هراس‌های شخصیت اصلی.
ریتم به‌طرز استادانه‌ای تنظیم شده: آرام و خفه در لحظات ابهام، تند و پرتنش در لحظات فرار و هجوم، و عمیق در مواقع آشکار شدن حقیقت. کتاب در عین سرگرم‌کنندگی، عمق احساسی بی‌نظیری دارد—نه احساسات ارزان، بلکه درد، ترس، اندوه و عشق به شکل خالص و پالوده.
این رمان یک‌جور سفر به درون مغز و روح است، سفری که پر از تاریکی‌های بلعنده و نورهای کوتاه و نجات‌بخش است. و عجیب این‌که در نهایت، نه افسرده‌ات می‌کند و نه دل‌زده، بلکه وادارت می‌کند درباره‌ی آزادی، هویت، حافظه، بدن، و زخم‌هایی که تاریخ بر زنان گذاشته دوباره فکر کنی.
از آن کتاب‌هایی است که تمام نمی‌شود—مدت‌ها بعد از بستن آخرین صفحه در تو می‌چرخد، سؤال می‌پرسد، و ازت می‌خواهد دوباره برگردی و تکه‌های تازه‌ای پیدا کنی.
یک رمان فوق‌العاده قدرتمند، عصبی، نفس‌گیر، پر از لایه، پر از رمز، هم مهیج هم فلسفی، هم شخصی هم سیاسی. از آنهایی که بعد از خواندنش می‌فهمی چرا می‌گویند:
«بعضی کتاب‌ها تمام نمی‌شوند، فقط درونت جا می‌گیرند.»

کاملاً حقش بود:
۵ ستاره‌ی کامل، درشت و بی‌حساب.

[Angie Miale · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well friends, this one was not for me. A woman is on a bus with other mentally ill patients and it is the year 1954. They call her Dorothy but she doesn't think it is her name, and she apparently has a diagnosis of Schizophrenia. She then determines that she has is a time traveler named Bix. She has a husband Paul in one of the timelines, but she also has a mission to save the world from destruction.

That is about all I understood. I think if you like the book Dissolution you would like this. I love speculative fiction but this was very cerebral. It has the pacing of a mystery but I couldn't quite grasp the concepts and then found myself skimming.

Thanks to NetGalley and Henry Holt publishing for the ARC. Book to be published August 19, 2025.

[Debbie H · Rating 4 out of 5]

4⭐️ What a crazy twisty sci-fi thriller! Could not put it down, fast paced and totally absorbing.

In 1952, Dorothy “Dee” is on a bus headed for a psychiatric hospital. But she believes she’s “Bix” from 2034 on a mission. One problem, she’s lost her memory.

What follows is a twisty thriller that leaves you guessing and doubting just who is Dee/Bix? Is she a hopelessly mentally ill patient or a time traveler on a mission to save humanity?

I loved the back and forth of the two timelines and the slow revelation of just who was Bix and how deep did the conspiracy run! Great ending too!

Thank you NetGalley and Henry Holt publishers for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Fern · Rating 2 out of 5]

Despite an interesting premise, a stunning cover, and being an Aardvark pick this sadly disappointed me. I found the writing and our main character's thoughts quite surface level and at times cringey. I was intrigued at some of the reveals, but ultimately I felt like the plot got quite convoluted and a bit difficult to follow. For a while this was sitting at a 3, but throughout the last third of the book I found myself rushing to just be done with it. Womp!

Thank you to the publisher for gifting me a finished copy.

[Katrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding debut novel by Melissa Pace! I absolutely loved this book. Very engaging and had me hooked from the start. I love the unreliable narrator and as the truth becomes clear the stakes get higher. This book was exhilarating and had me on the edge of my seat. I could not put it down! I can’t share too much of the plot without spoilers. I urge you to dive into this book blind and enjoy every page. A true psychological thriller!

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC!

[Lee-Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Whoa, well this was fun and trippy! I don’t know if I would compare this to Dark Matter, which blew my head off my shoulders and had me sitting in a room with white walls for a day, staring off into the abyss contemplating my existence, but fun none the less.

Without spoilers, the plot is simple. A woman wakes up in 1954 on a transport bus to a lunatic asylum, as they were called in those days. She has no memories, but one of her fellow passengers takes her purse and puts her ID tag on her, and the next thing she knows, she’s being admitted to the hospital as Dorothy. She’s not Dorothy, she thinks. Or is she? Did she imagine the other woman on the bus? Are her “trips to the future” and her “mission” real, or part of her delusions related to her supposed schizophrenia diagnosis? The reader doesn’t know and neither does the narrator. You find out at about 65% what is actually happening, but the plot does not get any less interesting at that point. I was engaged the entire time.

It was a four star read for me until the end. So abrupt and not the kind of ending that is ambiguous, but rather it felt unfinished. It definitely needed an epilogue.

[ari · Rating 5 out of 5]

Obsessed. Could not put this down & had to read it in one sitting. I was thoroughly engrossed & had no idea what was or wasn’t reality. Loved the whole thing!

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I pride myself on my ability to dissect a plot well before it’s made obvious—𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘰 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘸𝘵𝘧 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. At times I had hunches, sure. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘶𝘯𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦, 𝘴𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘵. That’s the nature of the novel, unrelenting uncertainty with a HEAVY cover of unease. The more you read the deeper it sets in that 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰𝘰 are being played.

If you’ve followed my reviews for a bit, ya know the more technical facets of reviewing aren’t my forte—I’m here for a good time, not a long time. Here for the vibes. Whatever ya wanna call it, “𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘧𝘵” typically goes right over my head.
𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘔𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘢 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘦. Bc I was able to notice & appreciate the use of pacing to her advantage, weaponizing our tendency to read faster the more tensions rise. The content blew me away, but Pace’s cognizance of the reader’s experience left me awestruck.

You’ll notice I’ve yet to mention a key theme, mental illness. Based on my experiences & education, Melissa nails it. The slew of potential diagnosis & ways they manifest, the treatment of women in psych facilities (again I’d add “historically” here, but I’d be lying), the rampant abuse in positions of power—typically by men, the dangerous & impunitive dynamic that can develop between a woman even perceived (ᴋᴇʏᴡᴏʀᴅ: ᴘᴇʀᴄᴇɪᴠᴇᴅ) as mentally ill & their keeper...I mean husband.

The top complaint I’ve seen is the tail end didn’t work, but it sure worked for me. I’d argue that the reasons cited most often are some of the same reasons 𝙏𝙊&𝙁𝙈 would prove so accurate should we gain access to time machines.

I know this won’t be for everyone, & idc. It’s for me & I’m in luv 🥰😂

P.S. ofc a special S/O to @aardvarkbookclub & NetGalley for the advanced copies 😘

[Morgan · Rating 1 out of 5]

BAD! I requested this because I love mysteries and am always interested in depictions of asylums/mental health, but good grief... this book is not good. The writing is simply poor, which makes all the other things Pace is trying to do impossible: when "Dorothy" first arrives at the asylum, she is implausibly resistant (basically an ass-kicking superhero type character), and then once she starts the brainwashing "protocol" she rapidly transitions into a zombie who can be mind-controlled with selected phrases. This is shoddy pulp stuff with no relation to actual midcentury science: brains don't work like that. I don't require a forensic recreation of midcentury asylums, but it's clear that Pace doesn't really know what she's talking about, so she writes about this place (and the patients) in broad clichés that offer no insight into this experience and just reduce them to stereotypes.

There is also a sci-fi, time-travel element, which feels very derivative of other material like Twelve Monkeys, but... less good. None of these secondary characters, especially the ones we meet in the future, are fleshed-out; instead, they are deliveries for exposition. Later in the book, once "Dorothy" has regained a stronger sense of self, she decides she doesn't want to act like she has in the past (with these comrades), and is dead set against killing anyone. This dilemma plays out in numerous, repetitive scenarios, and it feels juvenile given the imminent and real danger she and her friends (and the world) are in. Sorry but... who cares?

There are other indications that Pace's worldview is ethically muddled. "Dorothy's" rescuer and helper in the past timeline is a heroic cop, and when she returns to the future one of her friends grimly tells her that there are no more cops as though this is the worst thing to ever happen. (No comment.) Even worse, there is a fundamentalist religious group in the future that—oh my god—forces women to cover their heads??? And sometimes their faces??? Feminist "Dorothy" is horrified by this. Pace has no interest in Islam and doesn't say anything about it, she just imports Western stereotypes of The Evil Other to scandalize her Strong Female Protagonist.

Also, the book ends mid-stream, obviously setting up a sequel, which I think is cheap given that it's not marketed as the first in a series.

Do not waste your time!

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is she Dorothy, or is she Bix?
This question has plagued (maybe) Dorothy since being admitted to Hanover State Psychiatric Hospital. She has amnesia, huge holes in her memory, and flashbacks to visions that may or may not be true. But the flashbacks feel so real, and she's becoming less sure if she has been sent from the future or if she really is suffering from paranoid delusions.

This was a captivating read, and I found myself trying to solve the puzzle right alongside Dorothy/Bix. The parts within Hanover were harrowing, with scenes of abuse and mistreatment within the hospital's walls. Very reminiscent of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."
However, the real showstopper was the scenes set in 2025. The dystopia landscape had storybuilding, which was wonderful. However, I don't feel like we had enough time there, and I wish it had been fleshed out more. I'm thinking (hoping) a sequel is in the works.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Alix · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun and entertaining sci-fi thriller. The strange jargon took some getting used to, but it served a purpose and made sense as the story unfolded. Secrets and reveals kept the plot moving and while the characters lacked a bit of depth, I was entertained enough to overlook it. The ending, however, felt abrupt. I’m not sure if the author plans to write a sequel, but the story didn’t feel complete. Overall, this was an enjoyable thriller with sci-fi elements, though the conclusion definitely left me wanting more.

[hailee · Rating 3 out of 5]

thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the arc. all opinions are my own.

this is AHS asylum meets black mirror meets dark matter meets don’t worry darling that was also reminiscent (to me) of classic YA dystopian novels.

started out SUPER strong & i was hooked for the first 20%… and then got bored… then was hooked again and so on & so forth. the pacing in the middle was slightly off but the beginning and end of this were very good & action packed.

the mental health & sexism commentary was good (& very relevant rn) but was a little cursory.

overall, this was a pretty solid debut & i would absolutely read more from this author!

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Title: The Once and Future Me
Author: Melissa Pace
Publishers: Henry Holt and Co./Brilliance Audio
Publication Date: August 19, 2025
Currently Available on KU? 🙅🏼‍♀️
Audiobook? ✅

🍿 𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘐𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴: I don’t know if I would have picked up The Once and Future Me by Melissa Pace had I not seen a couple of glowing reviews from Booksta friends and that would have been a crying shame. It started off so oddly to me, but man is it a heavy hitter of a debut!

🤩 𝚃͏𝚑͏𝚎͏ 𝙱͏𝚎͏𝚜͏𝚝͏ 𝙱͏𝚒͏𝚝͏𝚜͏: Despite the beginning seeming weird to me, it was also incredibly unique and totally captivating. Dorothy-not-Dorothy (at least in her mind) is put in a psychiatric hospital and while it is tough to read at times, it also feels highly accurate to the time period in which it is set. Dorothy is an unreliable narrator if there ever was one, and I was never sure if what she thought was the truth or if what she was being told was. There was so much tension throughout the book, and I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would happen.

🎧 𝒜𝓊𝒹𝒾𝑜𝒷𝑜𝑜𝓀 𝒩𝒶𝓇𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃: She takes some getting used to for some people, but Xe Sands is one of my personal favorites and her narration for The Once and Future Me was outstanding. She hit all the right notes and brought the story to life perfectly.

💭 𝘊𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴: You definitely need to check triggers prior to reading, but this blend of historical fiction, sci-fi, and thriller checked all the boxes for me and the ending left me praying for a sequel.

T͏h͏i͏s͏ B͏o͏o͏k͏ i͏n͏ 5͏ E͏m͏o͏j͏i͏’s͏ o͏r͏ L͏e͏s͏s͏: 🔪🪖👨🏼‍⚕️👮🏼‍♂️🫨

𝙱𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
𝙰𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

People in two distinct years are telling a woman with no clear recollection of her life that she’s different people; all she knows for sure is that she needs answers, and she’ll do what she must to get them in Melissa Pace’s The Once and Future Me.

To read this, and other book reviews, visit my website: http://makinggoodstories.wordpress.com/.

Waking with no clear memories of who she is on a bus transporting patients to Hanover State Psychiatric Hospital, a woman is told that she’s Dorothy Frasier and it’s 1954, but something, including an incredibly adamant voice, within her is certain that she’s not and doesn’t belong at the hospital or in that year. While trying to figure out a way to escape from the hospital, the woman experiences an episode where a group of young scientists in 2035 tell her she’s called Bix and that she was sent back to 1954 on a mission to find the key to stopping the Guest, which is rampantly causing the demise of everyone in 2035. As she tries to make sense of all she’s being told and with bits of true memories slowly returning to her, she gets a visit from a man whose face she recognizes from one of her memories and who the doctor says is her husband, Paul Frasier – but that would mean that she’s really Dorothy, even if things still don’t quite add up. Determined to find answers, she endures experimental treatments, some shockingly extreme, at the risk of her freedom and mind as she relentlessly seeks her memories and the truth, with assistance from some unlikely allies along the way, about who she is as a matter of survival.

In a captivating premise following one woman’s fight to regain control over herself, mentally and bodily, while battling eerily relevant gaslighting from others and biological dangers that threaten the likelihood of her survival, as well as that of countless others across different eras in various manners, the way the narrative is presented allows for an engaging and entertaining questioning of reality, or sanity, to occur for a fairly prolonged time as events are gradually unraveled, pieced together, and finally become fully connected. The more serious matters of import for confronting within the self and across broader society in both settings of 1954 and 2035 remain relative constants over the intervening decades, with some improvements in attitudes toward social constructs and treatments for mental health issues by 2035, which should resonate with contemporary audiences in comparison with how it’s addressed in the 50s; however, the strength of character and resilience depicted in Dorothy/Bix was heartening in the wake of the disheartening circumstances she found herself embroiled in during each era, particularly when put in contrast with the more despicable, if stereotypical of their era or corrupted by their mission-declared purpose, male counterparts. As there’s a level of paranoia and suspense embedded within the nature of this story, the way that some characters are noticed and portrayed, even in brief passing, makes them clear targets to be watchful of and, without spoiling anything, by the conclusion that proves to be entirely true, which was easy to spot that they had relevance but perhaps not quite the extent of the relevance they’d have for a potentially hopeful future.

Overall, I’d give it a 4.5 out of 5 stars.

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book involves an unreliable narrator (Dorothy) who finds herself at Hanover State Psychiatric Hospital in 1954. As you read this book you find out who Dorothy really is - this is a WTF read (in the best way)!
I did not read an excerpt before starting-so I had no idea what to expect.
While I was reading this- I kept relating aspects of this book to the tv series Ratched.
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

[thatmillenialbookgirl · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sigh.

This has all the makings of something l'd love but in my opinion (which, feel free to take it with a grain of salt), it fell very flat.

I looooved Don't Worry, Darling and Dark Matter, and of course the psychiatry aspect interested me, so the high-concept premise along with the fantastic cover art convinced me to give this one a read. It's being billed as Girl, Interrupted meets Dark Matter. I think Nicholas Binge's Dissolution (which I also wasn't a fan of) would've been a better comparison.

I felt this novel had poor pacing and found myself getting bored and trying to skip ahead often. And, maybe because of that, I got confused a few times about certain plot points- but I honestly think that was more due to how convoluted the story was. It could have done with a lot more in the way of revisions and edits- it felt very repetitive and in no way did it need to be over 350 pages. Finally, I just wasn't a fan of the writing. The main character's voice annoyed me (especially the inner voice that kept popping up) and certain aspects of the future timeline -like the concept of a "yoloyear" (yes, it's what you think it is) had me rolling my eyes.

And THEN, after reading over 350 pages, for it to end on a cliffhanger was frustrating and unsatisfying. Maybe it's setting up for a sequel but if so, I won't be reading it.

Remember, this is just my opinion. There's a ton of 4 and 5 reviews so l'm in the minority here (it also
has me questioning the authenticity of a lot of ARC reviews). If it interests you, give it a read!

[TaleshaReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a 4.5 star read for me! I can't get over the fact that this is a debut novel! This author is one I will be waiting to see what comes next!

I will admit when I first read the synopsis I was nervous to see if there would be too much going on in this book since we are following the main character who may or may not be from the future. Or may or may not be this Dorothy lady who is a paranoid schizophrenic.

Instead, I was gripped with wanting to find the truth and following her through all that she went through to try to see what her reality was! I feel for myself this book was fast-paced and kept me interested until the end.

Why I rate it a 4.5 star is because I feel the ending fell a little flat for myself, but the rest of the story kept me interested!

I have to thank Net Galley and Henry Holt & Company for my advanced reader copy!

[Lucy Ritzmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED THIS BOOK! The pacing and the FMC were absolutely spot on – I also thought the Handmaid's Tale-esque elements in 1954 were an incredibly poignant (and relevant, given our current political era) reminder of how far we as women have come and how much we have to lose. I know this book isn't out yet, but I truly can't wait for the sequel! And I think fans of Maze Runner, The Hunger Games, etc. are going to go wild for this one.

[Liza Armstrong · Rating 4 out of 5]

Can she trust the voices in her head? Dorothy is trapped in a psychiatric hospital during the prime time of electroshock and lobotomies with no memory of who she is or how she arrived. 

In this sci-fi mixed with psychological thriller, our fmc is on a mission to decipher truth from fantasy as her mind bounces between two different personas: Dorothy in the present and Bix, a woman with a dangerous mission in 2035. 

An amazing debut that had my eyes glued to the pages the entire time. She gives a voice to those who have been labeled crazy or forced to meet the mold of society while also keeping the reader on their toes and second guessing reality. 

This was my aardvarkbookclub pick for August, but the book is officially out August 19th!

[JackiesReadingJourney · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s hard to rate this one. The asylum horror was intense. It felt like AHS: Asylum at some points, and the dystopian aspect was super interesting. However, I really didn’t like the main character. She was frustrating. I know there are reasons for the way she is in this book, but I was constantly putting the book down and taking a deep breath because of the aggravation.

I think I spent the first half intrigued but also completely stressed out, and then by the middle, when we start getting some answers, I just felt overwhelmed. It was like an info dump, and the entire tone of the book changed. I think the final half could have been written better, as it felt all over the place.

I see what this book was trying to do, and I do think the first half is quite good for what it is. I was definitely on the edge of my seat wondering if the main character was truly insane or not, and I was so intrigued by the plot. But I was ultimately disappointed in the reveal and ending. I saw this compared to Dark Matter, and I just don’t think it’s near that level. Still, it’s a solid story that I don’t regret reading, but I wanted more.

Thank you Henry Holt for this arc in exchange for my honest opinion!

[Ashley (ashreadsitall) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Get ready for this psychological thriller with a dystopian sci-fi, time-travel twist. Set in 1950s Virginia, it follows a woman with no memory who’s told she’s mentally ill, but her instincts say otherwise. Is she a compliant housewife or a badass woman with a violent streak? The future of the world depends on her finding that out. The ending sets the stage for a possible sequel and I hope to hell there’s one, this was a 5-star all the way around for her debut novel!

Thanks to Net Galley for this ARC! This one will find itself on my shelf for sure.

[Lea · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first reaction upon reading the last page was: WHAT?! I NEED A SECOND BOOK NOW, THIS CANT BE THE ENDING! But, this book deserves more commentary than that. There were many times that I started doubting our MC and I truly felt submerged in the rise and pitfalls of the story with her. Never knowing who to trust, even herself. THE history included, the reminder that it wasn't even that long ago. Something tells me this one will stick with me a while. I loved it. Would absolutely love to see this on film.

[Natalie K · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ugh. This one started off great—allegedly schizophrenic woman goes to a mental hospital in 1954. We, as the readers, aren't sure if she's actually schizophrenic, or a time traveler like she says. I wasn't sure what to believe.

It turns out she's a time traveler, but the book kind of devolves from there. I liked the 1954 sections better than the 2035 scenes. Maybe it was the parallels with Covid—been there, done that, and I don't want to relive it—but these sections didn't really do it for me. Plus, the book ends so abruptly, with little resolution.

[Cindy (leavemetomybooks)]

* thanks to Henry Holt for the NetGalley review copy ( pub date: August 19, 2025 )

Interesting concept with a lot of potential, but I kept drifting off while reading it and know I will never pick it back up. DNF @ 36%