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Showgirls and Aliens
A fast, fun story about Reptiles vs. Strippers.
Former Gymnast, Nomi, lost hope after her parents were killed. She's now a drug using stripper. When she is on acid she can see the alien reptiles that rule the Earth in their true form.
She learns the reptiles been enslaving mankind, killed her parents, and have targeted her to host a new breed of reptiles.
She must defeat the reptiles that enslave the Earth. Or she will be impregnated by them.
Former Gymnast, Nomi, lost hope after her parents were killed. She's now a drug using stripper. When she is on acid she can see the alien reptiles that rule the Earth in their true form.
She learns the reptiles been enslaving mankind, killed her parents, and have targeted her to host a new breed of reptiles.
She must defeat the reptiles that enslave the Earth. Or she will be impregnated by them.
- GenresScience Fiction
ebook
First published February 20, 2013
1 person is currently reading
12 people want to read
About the author
Darrell B. Nelson
17 books34 followersDarrell B. Nelson is a former Securities Broker and Insurance Agent who has decided to use the total meltdown of his former industry, and the total destruction of any illusions of personal financial security the meltdown caused, as an opportunity to pursue a writing career.
His passion for writing was encouraged at a young age by his his mother, who would read to him every night. Fueling his dreams in ways only books can. As he got older she took him to the library every week. Letting his imagination soar.
While other children his age were dealing with where they were and what they were doing, he was flying through space helping to build Asimov's Foundation, Make way for Clarke's Star Child, or living on Bova's Selene. Needless to say, he tripped over things a lot.
When he started writing he knew in the future his works would be of great importance, as time travelers arrived and started watching his every move. Or, maybe they were cats, wondering if he would pet them and rub their ears. Time Travelers have whiskers and like to curl up in your lap, right?
In his free time he likes to hang out on Facebook, marveling at how far we've come since the time of the Egyptians who would worship cats and write on walls.
His passion for writing was encouraged at a young age by his his mother, who would read to him every night. Fueling his dreams in ways only books can. As he got older she took him to the library every week. Letting his imagination soar.
While other children his age were dealing with where they were and what they were doing, he was flying through space helping to build Asimov's Foundation, Make way for Clarke's Star Child, or living on Bova's Selene. Needless to say, he tripped over things a lot.
When he started writing he knew in the future his works would be of great importance, as time travelers arrived and started watching his every move. Or, maybe they were cats, wondering if he would pet them and rub their ears. Time Travelers have whiskers and like to curl up in your lap, right?
In his free time he likes to hang out on Facebook, marveling at how far we've come since the time of the Egyptians who would worship cats and write on walls.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
February 21, 2019
This story is loosely based around the real life conspiracy theory of alien lizards controlling the power people of Earth. It follows a showgirl/stripper as she discovers that she can see through the lizards human disguises. She is high on drugs at the time, so it's not until a "lizard hunter" approaches her and asks for help that she begins to believe in what she sees. There is a lot of 80's references in the book, so younger readers might not get those. The book is comedy based, some good, some bad.
If you like something a little bit tongue in cheek, then this might be the read for you. I give it 3.5 stars, rounded up to 4.
If you like something a little bit tongue in cheek, then this might be the read for you. I give it 3.5 stars, rounded up to 4.
September 23, 2020
This is a rather unusual story about a race of lizard people who want to take over earth. The lizards are well connected with governments and other powerful people who they can manipulate to do their bidding and go along with their plans. Like all creatures, the lizards occasionally need to procreate to ensure their continuance as a species.
Nomi is an ex-gymnast turned showgirl/lap dancer who can see through the lizards human disguise when she is high on acid. The unusual situation is noted by Secret Agent Vekman, who is intent on destroying the lizards and thwarting their plan of world domination.
The book reminded me a bit of the films featuring Austin Powers where there is a plot and a storyline but everything is a little over the top. There is a lot of humour but it is a little crude for my taste as it pokes fun at famous people, songs and events. Unfortunately, I also didn't understand all of the humour which seems to relate to political figures and circumstances in the USA or songs and situations from the 1980s.
If you are a fan of this type of humour, then you will really enjoy this book.
Nomi is an ex-gymnast turned showgirl/lap dancer who can see through the lizards human disguise when she is high on acid. The unusual situation is noted by Secret Agent Vekman, who is intent on destroying the lizards and thwarting their plan of world domination.
The book reminded me a bit of the films featuring Austin Powers where there is a plot and a storyline but everything is a little over the top. There is a lot of humour but it is a little crude for my taste as it pokes fun at famous people, songs and events. Unfortunately, I also didn't understand all of the humour which seems to relate to political figures and circumstances in the USA or songs and situations from the 1980s.
If you are a fan of this type of humour, then you will really enjoy this book.
August 15, 2020
This puts David Icke to shame! An adventure-filled, ridiculously bizarre tale about a stripper fighting aliens, Showgirls and Aliens is a brilliant short read. It takes you on a ride, one where you expect to drown in erotica but are shaken out of your wet dream by terrifying reptilians! It's even trippy in parts which makes you miss those 80s Pulp Fiction. (I honestly feel this should be a comic). The humor keeps the story ticking, and the dialogues are crisp and sharp.
The chemistry between the characters leaves you a little bit underwhelmed but I guess that's common in novellas. Also, even though it's a short book, parts in the middle felt a bit slowed down considering the overall quick pace of the story. As the tale unfolds, however, you gotta fasten your seatbelts!
The chemistry between the characters leaves you a little bit underwhelmed but I guess that's common in novellas. Also, even though it's a short book, parts in the middle felt a bit slowed down considering the overall quick pace of the story. As the tale unfolds, however, you gotta fasten your seatbelts!
July 3, 2015
As the title implies, this is a light, tongue-in-cheek read. It manages to keep a fast pace with lots of keenly described action scenes and groan-worthy puns. Although the protagonist is a drug-taking stripper, the sexual component is maintained at a school boy level fascination with exposure of jiggling and swaying breasts. A few political and pop culture references fly by without dept, more like drive-by shooting.
The plot is as advertised: a stripper gains the attention of aliens who have dominated the Earth since ancient times. The reptilian aliens are intent on using her as an incubator. With the help of a secretive g-man, the stripper and her friends thwart the aliens' plans, for now. This appears to be the initial installation of an on-going series in the vein of Men in Black, except a stripper is the alien butt-kicker. I could see this as a young adult graphic novel.
I received a free copy of this novel in exchange for my honest, non-reciprocal review.
August 12, 2016
Showgirls and Aliens by Darrell B Nelson is the story of a young gymnast turned stripper who is targeted by reptile aliens to host their offspring. Nomi is a free spirit who is working to pay off her parent’s debt. They were killed in a plane accident on the day she would have performed in the London Olympics. Nomi is recruited by an alien fighting agency to help them located the nest. She turns out to be a wonderful fighter with her training, a very physical fighter. She and the man designated as the alien hunter, Vektor, assemble a wonderful group of strippers and their lovers and body guards. The team eventually dispatches the aliens before they can impregnate poor Nomi.
I give this a five out of five star rating. It was a wonderful campy read. The fights were well described. The dialogue was full of puns and satire. The idea of a stripper fighting aliens is full of humor that was well developed in this story. I enjoyed it.
I give this a five out of five star rating. It was a wonderful campy read. The fights were well described. The dialogue was full of puns and satire. The idea of a stripper fighting aliens is full of humor that was well developed in this story. I enjoyed it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 14, 2020
It is a scifi kind of book. Don't expect one like Star Trek. But it has some fun inside it. A stripper fighting the aliens all alone! It is the joke and if you can swallow this then you can read it. Yes this stripper was one from Avangers' gang who was not called fro fighting against Thanos as she was busy fighting reptile aliens. I am sure these reptiles were part of the Thanos army.
'You are not a Thor', but you can be Nomi fighting nude with aliens. If you can leave your analytical mind on the side then go for it. You will enjoy this as good as some B class hollywood movies.
These alien race of reptiles are secretly controlling the earth. Nomi finds out the aliens's plan and comes up with some solution. OK!
'You are not a Thor', but you can be Nomi fighting nude with aliens. If you can leave your analytical mind on the side then go for it. You will enjoy this as good as some B class hollywood movies.
These alien race of reptiles are secretly controlling the earth. Nomi finds out the aliens's plan and comes up with some solution. OK!
March 25, 2019
You know what to expect from Showgirls and Aliens just by reading the title. It’s a fun little novella about, well, strippers fighting aliens. If that sounds like something you’d enjoy, you’d probably enjoy it.
When the humour goes beyond the obvious, there are funny moments. The book is pretty much 100% dialogue and action, so it moves quickly, but I do wish it slowed down once in a while, because there are some clever ideas wedged between all the kicking and punching.
I have to say, there are quite a few grammar and punctuation errors, in case you were expecting perfect literary prose from a book called Showgirls and Aliens. And the aforementioned action can get a little hard to follow, especially when people show up who were barely introduced, let alone developed as characters. So I’m not giving this five stars or anything, but I did mostly enjoy it.
When the humour goes beyond the obvious, there are funny moments. The book is pretty much 100% dialogue and action, so it moves quickly, but I do wish it slowed down once in a while, because there are some clever ideas wedged between all the kicking and punching.
I have to say, there are quite a few grammar and punctuation errors, in case you were expecting perfect literary prose from a book called Showgirls and Aliens. And the aforementioned action can get a little hard to follow, especially when people show up who were barely introduced, let alone developed as characters. So I’m not giving this five stars or anything, but I did mostly enjoy it.
September 15, 2015
This is a fast-paced sci-fi thriller that, I assume, is meant to contain light-hearted humour throughout. Unfortunately, I found the majority of the “amusing” moments and puns un-funny and cliché-ridden. I got the impression that the whole novel was intended to be a film script, maybe aimed at the teen-aged or young adult market. The level of the drug-taking and erotic moments that occur in the novel tend to indicate the former.
I also found the novel’s many grammatical errors too tedious to keep count of after a while. There were commas and full stops liberally scattered in the wrong places or missing from appropriate phrases and the kindle version that I received for review had wrong formatting and line-spacing all the way through it, unless, maybe, it came from a script. Some of the fight scenes came across to this reader as too unbelievable and in some cases almost farcical. Though, when I thought about it, the flip comments exchanged between the attackers and assailants were so like the slick ones from James Bond just before he “disposed” of the villain, that I suppose they would probably fit in a movie for an audience much younger than this reader!
As a novel I found it lacking in almost every department. While Nomi, the main protagonist, was quite well drawn other characters lacked depth. As I stated previously, plenty of pace but there was such a lack of descriptive narrative about many scenes and settings the author must have been thinking about “the movie” to come, and forgetting that some (many?) readers require some exposition in a novel to add, even provide, some enjoyment to the overall story. I liked the central theme that Darrell Nelson provided of an alien race of reptiles controlling Earth and attempting to impregnate Nomi, but the book was so lacking in other areas (believable dialogue, use of language, correct English) that it only just scraped 2 stars from this reader.
I received a free copy of this novel in exchange for my honest, non-reciprocal review.
I also found the novel’s many grammatical errors too tedious to keep count of after a while. There were commas and full stops liberally scattered in the wrong places or missing from appropriate phrases and the kindle version that I received for review had wrong formatting and line-spacing all the way through it, unless, maybe, it came from a script. Some of the fight scenes came across to this reader as too unbelievable and in some cases almost farcical. Though, when I thought about it, the flip comments exchanged between the attackers and assailants were so like the slick ones from James Bond just before he “disposed” of the villain, that I suppose they would probably fit in a movie for an audience much younger than this reader!
As a novel I found it lacking in almost every department. While Nomi, the main protagonist, was quite well drawn other characters lacked depth. As I stated previously, plenty of pace but there was such a lack of descriptive narrative about many scenes and settings the author must have been thinking about “the movie” to come, and forgetting that some (many?) readers require some exposition in a novel to add, even provide, some enjoyment to the overall story. I liked the central theme that Darrell Nelson provided of an alien race of reptiles controlling Earth and attempting to impregnate Nomi, but the book was so lacking in other areas (believable dialogue, use of language, correct English) that it only just scraped 2 stars from this reader.
I received a free copy of this novel in exchange for my honest, non-reciprocal review.
November 14, 2016
“Showgirls and Aliens” is indeed more a show than a novel as almost everything resides on dialogues and some strings of action. The science fiction (reptilian race stealthily conquering Earth) and political (every politician is bought by dark money) tracks were meant just to support a light humoristic act. Also light, some erotic scenes pepper various parts of the humor show. Together, the dialogues and the swift threads of action are setting a frenzy pace that pushes the reader forward from the first page. As a main rule, before trying to kick, smash, freeze or kill the opponent, each character tries to overwhelm it first with a verbal show of irony, and in many cases, it works pretty well.
August 26, 2017
‘Showgirls and Aliens’ opens in a nightclub. Stripper Nomi (heroine) is doing her stuff on the pole. This involves, beyond the usual writhing and twisting, some mind-boggling feats of athleticism (a flying dismount ending in a crash-landing split) as she tries to avoid the other creatures writhing and twisting on stage, namely 2 dozen snakes including a giant boa and a 20-foot python. But Nomi’s currently tripping on acid, so it’s all in her mind. Or is it? In the audience, she’s invited to join Bob and Randi for a lap dance. The only problem is, they’re reptiles too, and Nomi’s close encounter involves sliding up and down a lot of nasty scales and being licked by a forked tongue. The plot thickens and the mystery thins after the show, when Nomi pops round to see her dealer and ends up meeting Velkman, Man in Black sporting a crossbow, who informs her that ‘dark forces are at work...pursuing a dark agenda to enslave the people of the earth’. He says a lot of other stuff, but the upshot is that Nomi is the only one who can save mankind from tyranny, which is going to be a bit tricky as the Aliens have targeted her womb as the ideal receptacle for their scaly spawn. It’s a beginning that reads promisingly like a Mel Brooks movie-plot, even down to the groan-aloud jokes.
But the promise starts to fade in the ensuing account of the battle between Good and Evil which takes up the rest of the book. The Goodies (Nomi, plus assorted sidekicks) and the Reptile Baddies engage in a series of cat-and-mouse (snake-and-stripper?) action sequences which, after a while, start to feel over-repetitive, described in a rather flat ‘he did/she did’ narrative lacking in dramatic tension (but containing the occasionally confusing grammatical error).
There was the odd, interestingly icky description of reptile arousal (Randi massaging herself between her scaly legs, thus producing a fleshy tube the length of two soda cans that she intends to force into Nomi’s womb), but on the whole I found my attention wandering. Fight followed fight, limb after limb snapped, splintered or shattered, body parts piled up. As the story comes to its inevitable end (‘with one bound, or rather a cute smartphone app, our heroine was free’), I felt there had been too many front flips and popping hips from the bendy Nomi, interspersed with corny dialogue - ‘You think you’re gods! You’d Buddha be right. Or you’ll be Thor-y.’
Humour is tricky, as we all know; what tickles one person’s funny-bone can leave another cold. I’d recommend this book to readers who don’t mind a line-up of dire puns, and who like their sci-fi fantasias low on context and high on action.
But the promise starts to fade in the ensuing account of the battle between Good and Evil which takes up the rest of the book. The Goodies (Nomi, plus assorted sidekicks) and the Reptile Baddies engage in a series of cat-and-mouse (snake-and-stripper?) action sequences which, after a while, start to feel over-repetitive, described in a rather flat ‘he did/she did’ narrative lacking in dramatic tension (but containing the occasionally confusing grammatical error).
There was the odd, interestingly icky description of reptile arousal (Randi massaging herself between her scaly legs, thus producing a fleshy tube the length of two soda cans that she intends to force into Nomi’s womb), but on the whole I found my attention wandering. Fight followed fight, limb after limb snapped, splintered or shattered, body parts piled up. As the story comes to its inevitable end (‘with one bound, or rather a cute smartphone app, our heroine was free’), I felt there had been too many front flips and popping hips from the bendy Nomi, interspersed with corny dialogue - ‘You think you’re gods! You’d Buddha be right. Or you’ll be Thor-y.’
Humour is tricky, as we all know; what tickles one person’s funny-bone can leave another cold. I’d recommend this book to readers who don’t mind a line-up of dire puns, and who like their sci-fi fantasias low on context and high on action.
August 19, 2015
Title: Showgirls and Aliens
Author: Darrell B. Nelson
Genre: Science Fiction Humor
Length: 40,000 words (estimated)
Rating: 1 star
Showgirls and Aliens is a sometimes amusing story about an invasion of alien reptiles and their plan to rule our planet. Unfortunately I found much of the attempted humor lacking wit. This short book contained frequent grammatical errors, sometimes as many as several on a single page, rendering the book impossible to read for the small amount of enjoyment that might be obtained. I do not recommend this book.
I found three passages in the book mildly amusing. The best two were a reference to the comparative fighting abilities of Theodore Roosevelt and Franklin Roosevelt, and a comparison of Senator Mitch McConnell's physical appearance to that of a reptile. But even in the Roosevelt quote there were problems with elementary grammar:
"Think again warm bloods, Teddy Roosevelt was a better fighter than you."
"That's not really an insult. Franklin Roosevelt, maybe. But Teddy was a bad ass," Nomi said. [Kindle Location 522]
Since the first speaker is addressing the 'warm bloods' (human beings), the statement requires a vocative comma. The comma appearing after 'bloods' could stand, I suppose, but a period makes more sense. Here is the way I would correct the errors: "Think again, warm bloods. Teddy Roosevelt was a better fighter than you." These are minor issues. The point I wish to make here is that even the few mildly amusing passages were marred by inadequate demonstration of written English.
Spelling errors were common. For example, at Kindle Location 228 we find "Hey, I get premo stuff dude." My best guess is that the author intended to write 'primo' rather than 'premo'. Notice again the vocative comma is missing. The sentence should read: "Hey, I get primo stuff, dude."
Contractions were not properly formed. For example: "Who knows whats on the floor?" [Location 109] Proper format: "Who knows what's on the floor?"
Statements sometimes ended in question marks, while questions often ended with a simple period or an exclamation mark. For example: "Does it look like I'm in it for the money." [Location 243]
Commas appeared out of the blue, without rhyme or reason, rendering sentences difficult or impossible to figure out. For example: "I have no idea how I'd work, Corniche or Camargue into a sentence." [Location 283] My best guess in this instance is that the speaker wished to indicate difficulty working the words 'Corniche' or 'Camargue' into a statement. If so, the sentence should have been structured without a comma, since 'Corniche' and 'Camargue' are objects of the verb 'working', like so: "I have no idea how I'd work Corniche or Camargue into a sentence."
The vocative comma almost always went missing. Here, for example, when a character addresses film director Stanley Kubrick: "Take that Kubrick." The character seems to be saying something like, "Hey, get a load of that Kubrick fella." That is, due to the (lack of) punctuation in the sentence, the character seems to be talking with a friend about a third person (Kubrick) not present during their conversation. In fact, though, the character is addressing Kubrick directly, and because of poor use of written English, the sentence becomes confusing. The sentence should read: "Take that, Kubrick."
Sentences were pasted together without rhyme or reason. Here, for example, two unrelated statements are thrown together into a single sentence: "They must have already sampled our DNA, did one of them lick you, by any chance?" [Location 373] In this case a period would be preferred, a semi-colon might work, but a comma doesn't work at all.
The story didn't distinguish between transitive and intransitive verbs. For example: "It laid down defeated." [Location 52] The verb 'to lay' is a transitive verb; it requires an object. When I read that the reptile had laid, I wondered what (which object) the beast had laid down. Confusing the intransitive 'to lie' with the transitive 'to lay' is common among readers, but is one of the first errors corrected by a competent writer or editor.
The narrative frequently made fun of inadequate language ability, but brought unintended irony to most of these statements. Here, for example: "They couldn't imagine that people would be more concerned with the proper capitalization of their oppressors name than the oppression itself." [Location 342] In this example the genitive plural of 'oppressors' is incorrectly formed. The correct form: "...of their oppressors' name..."
Single thoughts, properly belonging to a single sentence, were separated into two or more sentences, again without rhyme or reason. Here, for example: "The man went down clutching his broken nose. Spraying blood all over Allen." [Location 493] In this example, the author begins the second sentence with the present participle ('Spraying'), which properly continues the thought expressed in the first sentence. Used correctly, the present participle would introduce a clause: "The man went down clutching his broken nose, spraying blood all over Allen."
I have recorded literally dozens of other examples but frankly I don't feel it is my place to act as a teacher of English. This was supposed to be a book suitable for reading and review, not an exposition of elementary errors in written English. When I'm asked, I try to discourage people from writing. Those who are destined to write are going to ignore any such advice, and that's for the good. Anyone handing over hard-earned money for the privilege of reading stories, in my opinion, should be able to expect a properly formatted, written, edited, and proofread book. Minimum standards should apply. I don't feel Showgirls and Aliens attains to any acceptable standard of writing. I do not recommend this volume to any reader.
In addition to problems in elementary grammar, usage, spelling, punctuation, and syntax, I found two uncomfortable instances of the use of familiar images and song lyrics in this book. However, much to my relief, the author was able to demonstrate that the book cover, to my eyes uncomfortably similar to a promotional poster for the 1995 film Showgirls (owned by United Artists), did not pose a problem of any kind. The author also indicated that instances of song lyrics, such as those for Madonna's 1984 song Material Girl (owned by Sony), would likewise be rendered harmless.
Readers seeking humorous takes on sci-fi and fantasy tropes might like to consider any of the volumes in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. I particularly enjoyed The Last Continent and The Last Hero. Philip Jose Farmer has written some amusing books. Those new to the genre might begin their adventure with Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, probably the most widely-read piece of sci-fi humor ever written.
I received a free copy of Showgirls and Aliens in exchange for a non-reciprocal review.
1 star.
Author: Darrell B. Nelson
Genre: Science Fiction Humor
Length: 40,000 words (estimated)
Rating: 1 star
Showgirls and Aliens is a sometimes amusing story about an invasion of alien reptiles and their plan to rule our planet. Unfortunately I found much of the attempted humor lacking wit. This short book contained frequent grammatical errors, sometimes as many as several on a single page, rendering the book impossible to read for the small amount of enjoyment that might be obtained. I do not recommend this book.
I found three passages in the book mildly amusing. The best two were a reference to the comparative fighting abilities of Theodore Roosevelt and Franklin Roosevelt, and a comparison of Senator Mitch McConnell's physical appearance to that of a reptile. But even in the Roosevelt quote there were problems with elementary grammar:
"Think again warm bloods, Teddy Roosevelt was a better fighter than you."
"That's not really an insult. Franklin Roosevelt, maybe. But Teddy was a bad ass," Nomi said. [Kindle Location 522]
Since the first speaker is addressing the 'warm bloods' (human beings), the statement requires a vocative comma. The comma appearing after 'bloods' could stand, I suppose, but a period makes more sense. Here is the way I would correct the errors: "Think again, warm bloods. Teddy Roosevelt was a better fighter than you." These are minor issues. The point I wish to make here is that even the few mildly amusing passages were marred by inadequate demonstration of written English.
Spelling errors were common. For example, at Kindle Location 228 we find "Hey, I get premo stuff dude." My best guess is that the author intended to write 'primo' rather than 'premo'. Notice again the vocative comma is missing. The sentence should read: "Hey, I get primo stuff, dude."
Contractions were not properly formed. For example: "Who knows whats on the floor?" [Location 109] Proper format: "Who knows what's on the floor?"
Statements sometimes ended in question marks, while questions often ended with a simple period or an exclamation mark. For example: "Does it look like I'm in it for the money." [Location 243]
Commas appeared out of the blue, without rhyme or reason, rendering sentences difficult or impossible to figure out. For example: "I have no idea how I'd work, Corniche or Camargue into a sentence." [Location 283] My best guess in this instance is that the speaker wished to indicate difficulty working the words 'Corniche' or 'Camargue' into a statement. If so, the sentence should have been structured without a comma, since 'Corniche' and 'Camargue' are objects of the verb 'working', like so: "I have no idea how I'd work Corniche or Camargue into a sentence."
The vocative comma almost always went missing. Here, for example, when a character addresses film director Stanley Kubrick: "Take that Kubrick." The character seems to be saying something like, "Hey, get a load of that Kubrick fella." That is, due to the (lack of) punctuation in the sentence, the character seems to be talking with a friend about a third person (Kubrick) not present during their conversation. In fact, though, the character is addressing Kubrick directly, and because of poor use of written English, the sentence becomes confusing. The sentence should read: "Take that, Kubrick."
Sentences were pasted together without rhyme or reason. Here, for example, two unrelated statements are thrown together into a single sentence: "They must have already sampled our DNA, did one of them lick you, by any chance?" [Location 373] In this case a period would be preferred, a semi-colon might work, but a comma doesn't work at all.
The story didn't distinguish between transitive and intransitive verbs. For example: "It laid down defeated." [Location 52] The verb 'to lay' is a transitive verb; it requires an object. When I read that the reptile had laid, I wondered what (which object) the beast had laid down. Confusing the intransitive 'to lie' with the transitive 'to lay' is common among readers, but is one of the first errors corrected by a competent writer or editor.
The narrative frequently made fun of inadequate language ability, but brought unintended irony to most of these statements. Here, for example: "They couldn't imagine that people would be more concerned with the proper capitalization of their oppressors name than the oppression itself." [Location 342] In this example the genitive plural of 'oppressors' is incorrectly formed. The correct form: "...of their oppressors' name..."
Single thoughts, properly belonging to a single sentence, were separated into two or more sentences, again without rhyme or reason. Here, for example: "The man went down clutching his broken nose. Spraying blood all over Allen." [Location 493] In this example, the author begins the second sentence with the present participle ('Spraying'), which properly continues the thought expressed in the first sentence. Used correctly, the present participle would introduce a clause: "The man went down clutching his broken nose, spraying blood all over Allen."
I have recorded literally dozens of other examples but frankly I don't feel it is my place to act as a teacher of English. This was supposed to be a book suitable for reading and review, not an exposition of elementary errors in written English. When I'm asked, I try to discourage people from writing. Those who are destined to write are going to ignore any such advice, and that's for the good. Anyone handing over hard-earned money for the privilege of reading stories, in my opinion, should be able to expect a properly formatted, written, edited, and proofread book. Minimum standards should apply. I don't feel Showgirls and Aliens attains to any acceptable standard of writing. I do not recommend this volume to any reader.
In addition to problems in elementary grammar, usage, spelling, punctuation, and syntax, I found two uncomfortable instances of the use of familiar images and song lyrics in this book. However, much to my relief, the author was able to demonstrate that the book cover, to my eyes uncomfortably similar to a promotional poster for the 1995 film Showgirls (owned by United Artists), did not pose a problem of any kind. The author also indicated that instances of song lyrics, such as those for Madonna's 1984 song Material Girl (owned by Sony), would likewise be rendered harmless.
Readers seeking humorous takes on sci-fi and fantasy tropes might like to consider any of the volumes in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. I particularly enjoyed The Last Continent and The Last Hero. Philip Jose Farmer has written some amusing books. Those new to the genre might begin their adventure with Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, probably the most widely-read piece of sci-fi humor ever written.
I received a free copy of Showgirls and Aliens in exchange for a non-reciprocal review.
1 star.
July 28, 2017
Hilarity and Evil Aliens.
“Still nothing much happened last night. I did my act, gave a lap-dance to members of the reptile race that want to enslave humanity and was recruited by a shadowy quasi-government agency to hunt them down.”
Nomi the pole-dancer thinks she’s hallucinating on LSD, after all it’s not very likely lizards really are secretly ruling planet earth? No, not very likely at all - but this entire tale is built on a brilliantly wibbly-wobby structure of ‘not very likely’. It laughs in the face of convention and dances off clutching the trophies due to those who make fun of it. It exploits popular references for their comedic value and is frankly hilarious.
Well written, well paced and bawdy. This is Darrell Nelson at his finest and funniest and had me laughing aloud in places.
“Thank you for calling Amateur's Minions and Models. If you need a model for a photo shoot, press one. If you need a minion for your evil scheme, press two.”
What was not perfect? Well, for me some of the fight scenes over-played their purpose and a few of the jokes were a bit too contrived, but certainly not enough to spoil the ride.
Thoroughly recommended to anyone who likes sci-fi and enjoys a good laugh.
“Still nothing much happened last night. I did my act, gave a lap-dance to members of the reptile race that want to enslave humanity and was recruited by a shadowy quasi-government agency to hunt them down.”
Nomi the pole-dancer thinks she’s hallucinating on LSD, after all it’s not very likely lizards really are secretly ruling planet earth? No, not very likely at all - but this entire tale is built on a brilliantly wibbly-wobby structure of ‘not very likely’. It laughs in the face of convention and dances off clutching the trophies due to those who make fun of it. It exploits popular references for their comedic value and is frankly hilarious.
Well written, well paced and bawdy. This is Darrell Nelson at his finest and funniest and had me laughing aloud in places.
“Thank you for calling Amateur's Minions and Models. If you need a model for a photo shoot, press one. If you need a minion for your evil scheme, press two.”
What was not perfect? Well, for me some of the fight scenes over-played their purpose and a few of the jokes were a bit too contrived, but certainly not enough to spoil the ride.
Thoroughly recommended to anyone who likes sci-fi and enjoys a good laugh.
August 24, 2020
Unfortunately, this is a very thin joke that goes on much too long. It doesn’t help that the quality of the writing is very poor. I felt at times that the author was barely able to articulate what he wanted to say. I was getting dizzy trying to follow the action scenes, and the humor is at a sophomoric level.
Although the book is mercifully brief, I found it had gotten quite tedious by the end. There just isn’t enough here. The narrative coherence is as substantial as Nomi’s g-string. The story is just a device to hang the jokes on and the jokes are the sort that might have seemed funny at the time, but don’t hold up on the printed page.
There is probably an audience for this among thirteen year old boys, especially the ones who can get pop references to the 80’s and who just want to hang with a perky stripper and a lot of bad jokes.
Although the book is mercifully brief, I found it had gotten quite tedious by the end. There just isn’t enough here. The narrative coherence is as substantial as Nomi’s g-string. The story is just a device to hang the jokes on and the jokes are the sort that might have seemed funny at the time, but don’t hold up on the printed page.
There is probably an audience for this among thirteen year old boys, especially the ones who can get pop references to the 80’s and who just want to hang with a perky stripper and a lot of bad jokes.
August 3, 2017
Some reviews are so easy to give that it's a pleasure to write them and this book puts me squarely in that category. Stripper gymnasts, aliens with lethal biological clocks and a host of snort out loud side characters made this book a hit from the word g-string. Campy, hilarious and irreverent this little gem still manages to have heart. This is why I love Goodreads. I'm exposed to books I never would have stumbled across on my own. In a perfect world this would be a cult, B movie runaway hit!! Highly recommending this short little absurd nugget.
August 16, 2015
How not to be intrigued by a book with this title? In this fast-paced tale, reptiles once ruled the Earth, but after an interplanetary war, the reptiles got smaller and the Earth got warmer. The reptiles now need a living host for reproduction and have become quite selective (e.g. testing prospective candidate’s DNA) in finding a suitable host. There’s also urgency in finding a host, as the reptiles can only reproduce once a decade. Enter Nomi the stripper, who is targeted to be the baby-momma so to speak, but she is not interested (who would be?). She forms a ragtag team to “free humanity from the alien race that has been enslaving us since the dawn of time.” I was amused being “inside” Nomi’s head to learn what she’s thinking as the story unfolds (I share her fear of snakes), and enjoyed the subtle humor (e.g. 80s song and artist references, the fact that no reptiles were harmed in the writing of the book, etc.). This is a quick—and very different—enjoyable read! I wasn’t expecting to like this book as much as I did!
The book was provided to me for an honest, non-reciprocal review.
The book was provided to me for an honest, non-reciprocal review.
August 18, 2015
What happens when you combine a smart mouthed stripper, reptilian aliens, and hits of acid? A fast paced story full of 80's pop culture references and an odd assortment of characters worthy of a late night B movie Zecharia Sitchin would have been proud of. Actually, I kept waiting for Bruce Campbell to ride in and join Nomi, her drug dealer Edgar and the Secret Agent Vekman to save the world.
Take note that none of this is a bad thing, I rather enjoyed the story and all it's camp. The action/fighting scenes were a bit hard to keep up with, but I will say my favorite part was when Nomi takes her top off to tie up a Reptilian bodyguard.
Overall it was enjoyable, if not my usual book of choice. It's set at a good speed, has enough funny references for any 80's child to appreciate and Nomi was a great lead character.
Given a free copy in exchange for an honest review.
Take note that none of this is a bad thing, I rather enjoyed the story and all it's camp. The action/fighting scenes were a bit hard to keep up with, but I will say my favorite part was when Nomi takes her top off to tie up a Reptilian bodyguard.
Overall it was enjoyable, if not my usual book of choice. It's set at a good speed, has enough funny references for any 80's child to appreciate and Nomi was a great lead character.
Given a free copy in exchange for an honest review.
July 4, 2015
This book was... interesting.
Nomi is a drug taking stripper that has the uncanny ability to see reptilian alien overlords in their true form when she's tripping on acid. These reptiles have ruled the earth even before humans existed.
The fight scenes were a little much for me to keep up with. I couldn't quite picture who was kicking or punching each other at any given time. This book was very tongue-in-cheek and I read it with this knowledge. I did appreciate and enjoy the many 80's pop culture references by the main character, Nomi. I do love a good smart aleck. This book was provided for an honest, non-reciprocal review.
Nomi is a drug taking stripper that has the uncanny ability to see reptilian alien overlords in their true form when she's tripping on acid. These reptiles have ruled the earth even before humans existed.
The fight scenes were a little much for me to keep up with. I couldn't quite picture who was kicking or punching each other at any given time. This book was very tongue-in-cheek and I read it with this knowledge. I did appreciate and enjoy the many 80's pop culture references by the main character, Nomi. I do love a good smart aleck. This book was provided for an honest, non-reciprocal review.
October 26, 2015
This book knows precisely what it wants to be, and it hits its mark for the most part. Although generally speaking the humour wasn't to my taste, it did make me chuckle at times and I enjoyed some of the pop culture references. The action scenes are pretty well executed, and although the prose was a little clunky at times the energetic pacing keeps the ball rolling. There are some technical issues, but nothing that derails the experience. Although I can't say it was exactly my cup of tea, the refreshingly puerile tone is consistent throughout and the book is direct and well-paced.
October 26, 2015
This book knows precisely what it wants to be, and it hits its mark for the most part. Although generally speaking the humour wasn't to my taste, it did make me chuckle at times and I enjoyed some of the pop culture references. The action scenes are pretty well executed, and although the prose was a little clunky at times the energetic pacing keeps the ball rolling. There are some technical issues, but nothing that derails the experience. Although I can't say it was exactly my cup of tea, the refreshingly puerile tone is consistent throughout and the book is direct and well-paced.
August 4, 2015
The title represents exactly what this fun book is about: showgirls versus aliens. In this case, the importunate customers are aliens who kiss with split tongues and try to impregnate their favorite stripper with reptilian babies. If The Asylum were to publish books, then Showgirls and Aliens would be one of them. Speaking of movies... Don't you think the book cover is surprisingly similar to the 1995 film Showgirls by Paul Verhoeven?
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