Matthew Christopher Benner is an author from the east coast somewhere. I'm thinking Maine but that's probably because I'm confusing him with a good writer. Pretty sure he lives near West Chester but google maps showed a hell of a lot of West Chesters so that piece of information proved not-helpful at all. If I had to guess, I'd say... West Chester, Illinois... but I'm basing that on nothing. Not one single thing. In fact, pretty sure Illinois was one of the few states without a West Chester. Anyway, he has children, several of 'em. I think they're both girls that hopefully take after their mothers. And he's got trades, seems to gather them like shot glasses: massage therapist because he's creepy and he touches people; bartender because he's creepy, and without drinks no one would let him touch them; an avionics technician 'cause why the hell not, apparently; and he's a thief, 'cause I know one time he stole the woman of a guy who writes author's bios for a living. These are just things, just listing things about him, just a list--bunch of stuff, all equally important. Really, all you need to know about the kid is that he doesn't succeed. Ever. And I guess he's got a good sense of humor. And he's balding.