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Her Name Is Alice: My Daughter, Her Transition and Why We Must Remember Her
When my third child was born, I was told I had a boy. The baby was given a boy’s name and raised in that gender. But when she died, twenty years later, she died as my daughter, and will forever be remembered that way.
Alice Litman died by suicide in May 2022, aged just twenty years old, having already waited almost three years for her first appointment at a gender identity clinic.
In stunningly beautiful prose, Caroline Litman captures the realities of an often-messy journey navigating both her daughter’s transition and the days, weeks and months after Alice’s death.
Searing, urgent and utterly unique, Her Name is Alice is the raw, human story of a mother’s love and grief for her child – and of a young trans woman who is impossible to forget and who must be remembered.
Alice Litman died by suicide in May 2022, aged just twenty years old, having already waited almost three years for her first appointment at a gender identity clinic.
In stunningly beautiful prose, Caroline Litman captures the realities of an often-messy journey navigating both her daughter’s transition and the days, weeks and months after Alice’s death.
Searing, urgent and utterly unique, Her Name is Alice is the raw, human story of a mother’s love and grief for her child – and of a young trans woman who is impossible to forget and who must be remembered.
319 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 13, 2025
9 people are currently reading
173 people want to read
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December 12, 2024As the government doubles down on a ban on puberty blockers for under 18s, with a decision to make the ban permanent, further politicising access to lifesaving, affirmative healthcare for trans youth, I bring you a review of a new must-read memoir publishing next year.
‘Her Name is Alice’ is Caroline Litman’s frank account of her daughter, Alice’s transition, the challenges she and her family faced and Alice’s eventual death by suicide. A tough subject for sure, but important, timely and beautifully written.
There is an ease and accessibility to Caroline’s writing. It’s all so relatable, the normality and messiness of family life, a child struggling with their mental health; who hasn’t been there?
Caroline doesn’t shy away from relating her own struggle to accept and understand. There are conversations with friends whose need to air opinions comes at the expense of listening to lived experience. Also the battleground to be seen by health professionals, and noisy judgements shouted by media and mob.
At the heart of this story is Alice, a young woman in distress, let down by a system that had her waiting almost three years (at the time of her death) for an appointment at a gender identity clinic. It’s a sobering, heartaching read. At Alice's inquest the coroner concluded that Alice's wait for gender-identity services contributed to a decline in her mental health.
It’s also worth noting that, in the seven years before the Bell v Tavistock case, there was just one suicide of a patient whilst on the waitlist. In the four years since, with further restrictions on access to treatment, there have been sixteen suicides. I fear this figure will grow.
I’m privileged to have a number of friends with trans or non-binary kids, each of them unique, beautiful, clever, funny and embodying such bravery in the face of a toxic narrative repeated throughout the media and society as a whole. Thank you to the publishers for sending me this proof. I was glad to read it and honour the life of this lovely young woman.
A powerful, deeply moving and beautiful memoir. Please read it, keep Alice’s memory alive and advocate for change.
Publishing 13th March💔🏳️⚧️
‘Her Name is Alice’ is Caroline Litman’s frank account of her daughter, Alice’s transition, the challenges she and her family faced and Alice’s eventual death by suicide. A tough subject for sure, but important, timely and beautifully written.
There is an ease and accessibility to Caroline’s writing. It’s all so relatable, the normality and messiness of family life, a child struggling with their mental health; who hasn’t been there?
Caroline doesn’t shy away from relating her own struggle to accept and understand. There are conversations with friends whose need to air opinions comes at the expense of listening to lived experience. Also the battleground to be seen by health professionals, and noisy judgements shouted by media and mob.
At the heart of this story is Alice, a young woman in distress, let down by a system that had her waiting almost three years (at the time of her death) for an appointment at a gender identity clinic. It’s a sobering, heartaching read. At Alice's inquest the coroner concluded that Alice's wait for gender-identity services contributed to a decline in her mental health.
It’s also worth noting that, in the seven years before the Bell v Tavistock case, there was just one suicide of a patient whilst on the waitlist. In the four years since, with further restrictions on access to treatment, there have been sixteen suicides. I fear this figure will grow.
I’m privileged to have a number of friends with trans or non-binary kids, each of them unique, beautiful, clever, funny and embodying such bravery in the face of a toxic narrative repeated throughout the media and society as a whole. Thank you to the publishers for sending me this proof. I was glad to read it and honour the life of this lovely young woman.
A powerful, deeply moving and beautiful memoir. Please read it, keep Alice’s memory alive and advocate for change.
Publishing 13th March💔🏳️⚧️
March 11, 2025
thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review! <3
’I don’t need certificates or medals to find ways to talk about Alice. Her attributes alone do her justice’
Her Name is Alice is a poignant, heartbreaking and important look at the life and death of Alice Litman, a young trans woman who took her own life in 2022. Her mother, Caroline, dedicates this memoir to her transition, the complete failures of the NHS, UK government and society at large to respect and understand Trans people, and the grief of Alice’s family.
This is an exceptionally important book, and one that highlights the inadequacies and transphobia that is rampant in UK legislature and medical establishments. Alice was repeatedly let-down, again and again by services that could have and should have been there for a woman dealing with incredible dysphoria and anxieties. Caroline repeatedly outlines the hypocrisy of the NHS, that an appointment for an ear infection was seen in a matter of weeks, but for something as important as Alice’s gender, one wasn’t offered for months.
Learning about Alice herself was heartwarming. By the end of this memoir I felt like I knew her, that in another life we could have been friends. It is a testament to Caroline that she manages to capture Alice’s personality, her charm and humour, so perfectly.
I was further drawn to Caroline’s admissions of her own past innate transphobia. She was often honest to the point of painting herself a villain, condemning her past self at every turn. While reading this memoir, I respected her self-criticism, and her willingness to speak on her own flaws. However, my greatest critique of this book is also to do with Caroline. For a book dedicated to Alice, I felt often like I was reading a book about Caroline. Constantly I felt myself wondering why on earth I was reading about Caroline’s sub-par childhood, rather than Alice. I am not at all saying that Caroline shouldn’t write about her grief, and I am certainly not saying that Caroline shouldn’t write about her relationship with her daughter. I just wished I could’ve seen more of Alice.
Overall, Her Name is Alice is a well-written, insightful memoir, that I think now, more than ever, people should be reading.
’I don’t need certificates or medals to find ways to talk about Alice. Her attributes alone do her justice’
Her Name is Alice is a poignant, heartbreaking and important look at the life and death of Alice Litman, a young trans woman who took her own life in 2022. Her mother, Caroline, dedicates this memoir to her transition, the complete failures of the NHS, UK government and society at large to respect and understand Trans people, and the grief of Alice’s family.
This is an exceptionally important book, and one that highlights the inadequacies and transphobia that is rampant in UK legislature and medical establishments. Alice was repeatedly let-down, again and again by services that could have and should have been there for a woman dealing with incredible dysphoria and anxieties. Caroline repeatedly outlines the hypocrisy of the NHS, that an appointment for an ear infection was seen in a matter of weeks, but for something as important as Alice’s gender, one wasn’t offered for months.
Learning about Alice herself was heartwarming. By the end of this memoir I felt like I knew her, that in another life we could have been friends. It is a testament to Caroline that she manages to capture Alice’s personality, her charm and humour, so perfectly.
I was further drawn to Caroline’s admissions of her own past innate transphobia. She was often honest to the point of painting herself a villain, condemning her past self at every turn. While reading this memoir, I respected her self-criticism, and her willingness to speak on her own flaws. However, my greatest critique of this book is also to do with Caroline. For a book dedicated to Alice, I felt often like I was reading a book about Caroline. Constantly I felt myself wondering why on earth I was reading about Caroline’s sub-par childhood, rather than Alice. I am not at all saying that Caroline shouldn’t write about her grief, and I am certainly not saying that Caroline shouldn’t write about her relationship with her daughter. I just wished I could’ve seen more of Alice.
Overall, Her Name is Alice is a well-written, insightful memoir, that I think now, more than ever, people should be reading.
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March 14, 2025Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Collins UK for an eARC in exchange for an honest review
This is a book that tells the story, unflinchingly, of Alice's suicide: the lack of support from our Health services beforehand, and the unfolding story of what happened after. It feels near impossible to write a review for something so tender and personal, but also Litman deserves such recognition for the way she has put this memoir together.
As our government and wider society continue to demonise trans people, and make it harder and harder for anyone to be seen for gender-affirming care, there are real and agonising consequences. I think this book makes it so clear that people need to be reading the news critically - what are they gaining from pushing an anti-trans (and anti-queer) narrative and are these exaggerated fear-mongering stories really reflecting the day-to-day lives of the more than 200,000 trans people living in the UK.
I could find no faults with the frank and heartfelt way that Litman wrote, and I'm left with the feeling that all of us need to be prepared to learn more and do more to support those in our communities who are vulnerable.
This is a book that tells the story, unflinchingly, of Alice's suicide: the lack of support from our Health services beforehand, and the unfolding story of what happened after. It feels near impossible to write a review for something so tender and personal, but also Litman deserves such recognition for the way she has put this memoir together.
As our government and wider society continue to demonise trans people, and make it harder and harder for anyone to be seen for gender-affirming care, there are real and agonising consequences. I think this book makes it so clear that people need to be reading the news critically - what are they gaining from pushing an anti-trans (and anti-queer) narrative and are these exaggerated fear-mongering stories really reflecting the day-to-day lives of the more than 200,000 trans people living in the UK.
I could find no faults with the frank and heartfelt way that Litman wrote, and I'm left with the feeling that all of us need to be prepared to learn more and do more to support those in our communities who are vulnerable.
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January 24, 2025An incredibly moving book. Litman describes Alice with so much love and pride that I felt as if I knew her myself. She is honest, even to the point of self incrimination, with her initial transphobia and difficulties around Alice’s transition, which further demonstrates her inescapable grief and regret around Alice’s suicide. I adored reading the chapters when Alice was alive and pairing these chapters with days, weeks, months after her death really drove home the mournful memories Litman and her family had.
Memoirs, especially those around someone who has passed, are incredibly difficult to write (I assume), and difficult to read. This was a heavy book, both because of Alice’s suicide and the sadness and fear felt by the trans community. Litman balanced this book well, I wanted her to heal while understanding the grief she was feeling that she was being given the support to heal, whereas her own daughter wasn’t. After finishing this I found myself reading about Alice online, the inquest and what her family had to say.
A poignant book that’s needed now more than ever. Alice deserved better, we need to do better for her trans community and the LGBTQ+ community as a whole. Kudos to Litman for penning such an emotional tribute to her daughter.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for kindly providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review. #HerNameIsAlice #NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
Memoirs, especially those around someone who has passed, are incredibly difficult to write (I assume), and difficult to read. This was a heavy book, both because of Alice’s suicide and the sadness and fear felt by the trans community. Litman balanced this book well, I wanted her to heal while understanding the grief she was feeling that she was being given the support to heal, whereas her own daughter wasn’t. After finishing this I found myself reading about Alice online, the inquest and what her family had to say.
A poignant book that’s needed now more than ever. Alice deserved better, we need to do better for her trans community and the LGBTQ+ community as a whole. Kudos to Litman for penning such an emotional tribute to her daughter.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for kindly providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review. #HerNameIsAlice #NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
March 8, 2025
I always give honest reviews but if I wrote about this book as honest as I usually am I think I may look like a horrible person to people who have not read it yet.
Caroline lost her child to suicide, the pain she and her family must of gone through doesn’t bare thinking about. Alice was totally let down by so many professionals. What she must have gone through mentally and also physically is so upsetting. She was just a child and had no support from the people who are supposed to be helping. My heart breaks for her.
In regards this book, unfortunately, it mostly infuriated me. This book is called Her Name is Alice, but I felt this book was just mainly about Caroline and how Caroline felt everyone should see and feel things Caroline’s way. If you didn’t do things the way Caroline expected you to then you are wrong and not a nice person. You could feel the anger in every word and all the book succeeded in doing, in my honest opinion, was make her look like a very selfish person. I feel for the friends she pushed away and has wrote about as some of the portrayal of them makes it look like Caroline has a vendetta against them.
I am giving this book 2 stars. I can’t give more because all the book did was make me angry and not in the way Caroline expects. The way it’s written diverts the anger in the wrong direction. The direction the anger, felt by the reader, should be aimed at is the professionals and authorities and unfortunately this book didn’t go that way.
Alice, you were so troubled and so beautiful and you were let down by so many. I hope you are now at peace and I hope your story will help as many people as possible in the future.
Caroline lost her child to suicide, the pain she and her family must of gone through doesn’t bare thinking about. Alice was totally let down by so many professionals. What she must have gone through mentally and also physically is so upsetting. She was just a child and had no support from the people who are supposed to be helping. My heart breaks for her.
In regards this book, unfortunately, it mostly infuriated me. This book is called Her Name is Alice, but I felt this book was just mainly about Caroline and how Caroline felt everyone should see and feel things Caroline’s way. If you didn’t do things the way Caroline expected you to then you are wrong and not a nice person. You could feel the anger in every word and all the book succeeded in doing, in my honest opinion, was make her look like a very selfish person. I feel for the friends she pushed away and has wrote about as some of the portrayal of them makes it look like Caroline has a vendetta against them.
I am giving this book 2 stars. I can’t give more because all the book did was make me angry and not in the way Caroline expects. The way it’s written diverts the anger in the wrong direction. The direction the anger, felt by the reader, should be aimed at is the professionals and authorities and unfortunately this book didn’t go that way.
Alice, you were so troubled and so beautiful and you were let down by so many. I hope you are now at peace and I hope your story will help as many people as possible in the future.
August 3, 2025
A very well written book that had me trying to hold back tears on the tube 💔 such a young life lost 😔. Has inspired me to do more to help the trans community 🩷🏳️⚧️
April 10, 2025
I'm not trans. I'm not nonbinary. I don't have kids. I know the grief of losing a relative to suicide but that was sudden and unexpected. What I don't know is the turmoil and heartache that must be involved in seeing what may be coming and feeling unable to stop the decline.
Caroline Litman does two important things in this book: 1. Writes about Alice, celebrates Alice and ensures her life is one that, although it was cut short, is not forgotten. 2. Writes with brutal honesty in a way that must have been difficult - especially when acknowledging feelings and actions that she may regret with hindsight.
I have always shied away from memoirs detailing tragedy but with the way the lives of trans and nonbinary people are being used as a political football and with so many people being utterly ignorant and making proclamations having never met a trans person I felt it important to have some insight into what is clearly a huge problem - the high self-harm and suicide rate amongst trans people.
I was surprised how much joy there is in the book. I was pleased that the author ensured her husband and other children also featured prominently. I am all too aware of how suicide can impact so severely on a parent that their partner and other children feel less important or even entirely unimportant in the years that follow. I feel I have learned a great deal by reading this book but also it has not changed how I felt before reading it: trans people are beautiful souls who need our love and support not condemnation, suspicion or ludicrous assumptions that they harbour some malevolent reason for transitioning.
Caroline, that must have been an incredibly difficult book to write and your ability to bare your soul and be so honest about something so personal is remarkable. I bought the book when it came out and was so captivated that I then bought the audiobook so I could also listen on my long commute in the car. I think I will probably come back to it and read it again one day.
Caroline Litman does two important things in this book: 1. Writes about Alice, celebrates Alice and ensures her life is one that, although it was cut short, is not forgotten. 2. Writes with brutal honesty in a way that must have been difficult - especially when acknowledging feelings and actions that she may regret with hindsight.
I have always shied away from memoirs detailing tragedy but with the way the lives of trans and nonbinary people are being used as a political football and with so many people being utterly ignorant and making proclamations having never met a trans person I felt it important to have some insight into what is clearly a huge problem - the high self-harm and suicide rate amongst trans people.
I was surprised how much joy there is in the book. I was pleased that the author ensured her husband and other children also featured prominently. I am all too aware of how suicide can impact so severely on a parent that their partner and other children feel less important or even entirely unimportant in the years that follow. I feel I have learned a great deal by reading this book but also it has not changed how I felt before reading it: trans people are beautiful souls who need our love and support not condemnation, suspicion or ludicrous assumptions that they harbour some malevolent reason for transitioning.
Caroline, that must have been an incredibly difficult book to write and your ability to bare your soul and be so honest about something so personal is remarkable. I bought the book when it came out and was so captivated that I then bought the audiobook so I could also listen on my long commute in the car. I think I will probably come back to it and read it again one day.
May 1, 2025
I was sent a copy of Her Name Is Alice by Caroline Litman to read and review by NetGalley. I requested this book because I myself have a 21 year old transgender child. Though heartbreaking this memoir is beautifully written, with alternating chapters between then and now which I believe was the very best way the author could have framed her story. Though my personal circumstances are slightly different to the author’s, with my child transitioning from female to male, which I think can be more acceptable – and possibly even ignored – by the general public, I found that many aspects of Alice’s life as well as the family resonated strongly with my own experience. I was horrified to read how every part of the health system failed Alice and I dread to think how recent legislation will affect the transgender community in the years to come. I am thankful that I haven’t had to go through the same trauma, and I am also thankful to Caroline Litman for writing about Alice. This is a very important book that should be read by everyone.
July 16, 2025
I had to pause reading this book because of the court ruling, it was a little to much and I felt a bit helpless. I think it’s important for CIS Women to read this book (for reference I am a cis woman), and to understand Alices life and what she had to go through, how many hoops she had to try and jump through to be taken seriously. I don’t know how anyone can read this book and still think trans people don’t deserve space and rights. It’s such an important book. I think I will suggest it so every gender critical person I meet, see if I can change their mind. Thank you very much Caroline for writing it.
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March 17, 2025A moving memoir following the author's mental health struggles and her daughter's along two different timelines. This book is incredibly timely given the drastic decline in transgender life quality and rights in the last couple of years, and Caroline paints a picture of her daughter's struggle with so much justified anger and love. I'm not afraid to say this book made me feel sick to my stomach, because it doesn't shy away from anything.
I especially recommend this to trans allies.
Thank you to HarperCollins for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I especially recommend this to trans allies.
Thank you to HarperCollins for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
May 31, 2025
I listened to the audiobook version narrated by the author. It’s visceral grief of a mother losing their child, of regret and doubt and above all rage at the lack of medical support, despite her mother being trained as a psychiatrist.
A stand out extract for me was Alice’s godmother describing Alice as a sexual pervert even though she knew that wasn’t true. A damning indictment of the influence of social media and its corrosive polarisation of opinions.
The book is well written and excellently narrated. Highly recommended.
A stand out extract for me was Alice’s godmother describing Alice as a sexual pervert even though she knew that wasn’t true. A damning indictment of the influence of social media and its corrosive polarisation of opinions.
The book is well written and excellently narrated. Highly recommended.
October 8, 2025
This is a raw and uncompromising read. It feels like grief. It takes you through the aftermath of a suicide, but in parallel, traces Alice's life through the lens of a loving, imperfect mother, one with her own demons. Fear and love dance and compete with each other throughout. Whatever your views on the transgender debate, allow yourself to read and honour this story of a young life cut short. It's a stunning read, in both senses.
December 20, 2025
This is a beautifully written book; a wonderful tribute to Alice, and one of the best depictions of grief I’ve read. It’s a warm, vividly human portrait of a young woman who found herself trapped in the middle of the profoundly dehumanising “trans debate”. Her mum’s determined for us to see Alice as she really was, after she was failed by endless institutions who refused to. Everyone should read it.
March 3, 2025
Such a powerful, raw and important book. It is about grief, the realities of being Trans and also a damning indictment of how young people's mental health services are woefully inadequate and overstretched. It is, I hope, something that will be useful for so many to read to see the truths about these issues and to importantly see the human cost when we don't get things right.
March 17, 2025
This was a really heartfelt and emotive book, but despite the sadness in Alice's life within the book - there is so much hope too.
Caroline Litman was so supportive over her childs' transition. I think parents of trans children will find this book really informative.
I enjoyed the structure of the book, going back and forth within Alice's life. Allowing the reader to get to know Alice as a person and not just how she died.
It is a tough read at times, but incredibly insightful and eye opening.
Caroline Litman was so supportive over her childs' transition. I think parents of trans children will find this book really informative.
I enjoyed the structure of the book, going back and forth within Alice's life. Allowing the reader to get to know Alice as a person and not just how she died.
It is a tough read at times, but incredibly insightful and eye opening.
May 2, 2025
Beautifully written memoir. Incredibly touching and reflective. I appreciate the author’s sensitivity and thoroughness on transgenderism. Another important and very real trans story to remember. May Alice’s story be remembered and shared by many.
I recommend the audiobook! I personally listened to it. It is narrated by the author, Caroline Litman herself. She does a wonderful job!
I recommend the audiobook! I personally listened to it. It is narrated by the author, Caroline Litman herself. She does a wonderful job!
December 10, 2025
I thought I had some understanding of the issues raised in this compelling book. I didn’t. I was so moved by this mother’s heartbreaking story of the loss of her daughter that I found myself thinking about Alice at different times in the day. If you want to understand issues around transgender better, read this book. Alice will stay with me for a long time.
March 15, 2025
This book is brutally honest and written so well. It’s so good at reminding despite how “gender critical” people spin the what ifs and lies they spread that trans people are still human. They still deserve human rights !
March 20, 2025
This is a wonderfully powerful book. Despite the sadness, it flows beautifully between happy memories, the challenges that Alice and her family face, and the aftermath of her death.
Please read this book and hear her story, whatever you currently believe/think/ read elsewhere
Please read this book and hear her story, whatever you currently believe/think/ read elsewhere
January 27, 2025
An incredible, deeply emotional book. Keep saying her name. Her name is Alice.
April 13, 2025
An outstanding book which bravely deals with grief yet is witty, heartfelt and a real page turner. Truly a book of our time.
April 30, 2025
This is an extraordinary book.
I found it difficult to put down.
Most compelling and profound.
I found it difficult to put down.
Most compelling and profound.
May 27, 2025
Heartbreaking and so important
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August 12, 2025thought provoking and just so fucking bleak
August 31, 2025
Highly recommend other health care professionals read this. I'll be reflecting on this book for my CPD
September 26, 2025
Such a poignant and important memoir. I was so touched reading this and wish everyone would read Alice and Caroline’s stories.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews