Rituals and Paradoxes: The Intimacy of Belonging in Sadomasochism and Esoteric Eroticism

by Andy Buru

Above all else, this book is about the intimacy of belonging. It’s an attempt to open a door to that intimate space where we deeply long to belong – and where we might question our right to do so. Even while being obsessed with the taboos of sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism. This book is my claiming the permission to belong as a deviant, queer, and one not journeying along a straight line of normative society.

This book’s title is Rituals and Paradoxes as these elements are what have remained most relevant to me after over twenty years of exploration. I have no intention of resolving the paradoxes I’ve encountered because they are most valuable as unresolved mysteries which reside in both the conscious and subconscious mind. And yet this journey is also an embodied one and one of the spirit.

There are practical rituals designed to nudge us towards experiencing both the desire to belong and the sense of deep belonging. That these are taboo paths we walk along does not obscure the longing for this intimacy.

It feels important to say that while I work as a bodyworker using sadomasochistic and esoteric modalities, this book is not aimed to teach anyone how to do my work. The book intertwines anecdotal stories from my private exploration, with contradicting bits and pieces from other philosophers and paradoxical sadomasochistic principles. What I’m trying to say is that if you, my dear reader, want to dive into something more deeply there might be better sources and I’ll include them at the end. Much of this book is symbolic, dreamlike and poetic more than a logical, rational and all-encompassing handbook. It speaks in the language of the brave heart’s desire rather than the safe mind’s (illusion of) knowing. I’m convinced that allowing it to remain this way will bring the most value to the right reader in the right time of their life.

Genres: Sexuality

491 pages, Paperback