The Friendship Bench: How Fourteen Grandmothers Inspired a Mental Health Revolution

by Dixon Chibanda MD

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health, Memoir, Health

208 pages, Paperback

First published April 22, 2025

Reviews

[Idalis Rave · Rating 5 out of 5]

This will restore your faith in humanity! If there is a time to read Friendship Bench, it is now.

Warning: Will make you ugly cry & want a hug from grandma

[Cindy Dunn · Rating 2 out of 5]

THE FRIENDSHIP BENCH by Dixon Chibanda (2025; 208 pages) was a disappointment. We had seen the author interviewed and the premise of the story was so wonderful. I couldn’t wait for the book to come out.

The theme centers around using the time and wisdom of grandmothers to be present for someone having a mental health crisis. The initiative started in Zimbabwe. I did learn about their civil wars, voodoo as a religion, and their pineapples. But came away with very little about who these grandmas were, their stories, what they laughed about, what they cried about or how they made the huge impact that they did. It was superficial and more about the author who led the Bench revolution.

I was so hoping this would be more like THE NONNAS.

[R. Small · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was left a bit disappointed. This seemed like it would be full of the wisdom of the grandmothers on being present with people with mental illness. Unfortunately it was more about the man who led the “bench revolution”
There wasn’t much about the grandmothers and their wisdom, stories, and how they made a huge impact on mental health.
Instead… I learned a lot about pineapples, how voodoo was a religion, and their civil wars in Zimbabwe

[Nancy G · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend. The friendship bench is a project which started in Zimbabwe to meet the needs of those struggling with mental health. A creative, community based intervention is based on listening and compassion. It serves as a reminder that we are all capable of making a difference and to listen with care to others.

[angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read!!
This work needs more than one subtitle. There is so much more to this amazing, important, inspiring book!
Deepest gratitude to Dr. Chabanda, for writing this, and for kuvhura pfungwa: that is, opening my mind.

[Steph · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was just a random book I got at the library because it sounded interesting. Very inspiring story about helping others in their time of need, and that you don't have to be anymore special to help someone.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book that makes perfect sense connecting people with mental health issues with a caring, listening grandmother. Chibanda, a psychiatrist from Zimbabwe knew that a handful of mental health professionals could not begin to meet the needs of a struggling population. Those struggling with depression, anxiety, addiction and/or suicidal ideation could not afford or access ongoing professional treatment, medications or continuity of care. Struggling with his own grief after the suicide of one of his patients, Chibanda collaborated with 14 grandmothers to start Friendship Benches where those in need could talk with women trained in empathetic listening and story telling. In his words, "Opening minds and hearts to healing is possible only when ordinary people learn to support one another in extraordinary ways." An inspiring book following his journey of self healing as well as expanding these benches. In the last 2 years, over 400,000 people in Zimbabwe have shared their stories on a bench with a grandmother. The statistics are staggering as the program has spread worldwide and the impact of this basic premise of caring for others cannot be ignored. A quick read of a personal journey that shows the power of one person taking an idea and working to make it reality. I had no clue these benches are in the US and certainly believe that "Every one of us has the inherent ability to share our stories and to deeply listen to other, especially those who have not traditionally been heard, without judgement." (p180)

[Thea Marlowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

How one person Zimbabwean Dixon Chibanda, MD can make a difference being only one of six psychiatrists in Zimbabwe to meet the mental health needs of his country.
So much poverty, non-existent resources.
Realizing grandmothers have a purpose, were a wealth of empathy/experience. Choosing 14/grandmothers and training them to meet with locals to listen to patients needs/cry for help/direct those that need more for appropriate help. After training, using a 13/question answer worksheet. If suicidal question checked, patient immediately referred to critical care provider.
Of the thousands treated, 80% were helped with life issues/circumstances/depression, not needing more advanced counseling.
Upon feedback/surveys, most patients were mostly lonely, feeling hopeless. The Friendship Bench sessions helped to move forward with listening/caring/empathy.
Loved that other countries are adopting this treatment method by ordering Friendship Tool Kits and seeking caregiver training.

[Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr. Chibanda was one of only 6 licensed psychologists in Zimbabwe at the time he developed the Friendship Bench program. Way too few to help a people who had been through so very much. Seeing that so many patients benefited greatly just from having a strong connection with a listening ear, he worked with a team of 14 grandmothers in the community. These grandmothers would occupy a welcoming bench out in the community, trained to ask specific questions of visitors and help to triage assistance. From the initial set of grandmothers, the program has continued to grow. It is now worldwide! This is such an amazing story of a man who has truly made an impact on his community. And this doesn't always happen: D. Chibanda is so smart and does amazing work in his field... and is also able to write a cohesive book accessible to the layman! This was a great read that will help to restore your faith in humanity.

[Amanda Pascoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Chibanda has made a huge impact on the world by sharing his story- and it is incredible. At a time in history when the world seems compelled to complicate virtually everything, particularly solutions for problems, everything about the Friendship Bench is a lesson. Dr. Chibanda demonstrates and proves (with verifiable data!) that using common sense, dedication, and community support can change a person's life.

It is exciting to know that the Friendship Bench is thriving and also migrating across the globe now! I sent a copy of this book to a couple community leaders already-and I'm hoping they have to pass it on immediately because they already own it and they're busy putting together a team to explore building this program near me!

[Johan Agstam · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely amazing book. When one of his patients dies of suicide the author is racked by guilt and through a number of steps works to create a more accessible form of mental health care in a country where specialty mental health care resources are limited. This form is that of a friendship bench where people can talk to a friendly grandmother. The journey to developing this - as well as the many stories about the grandmothers and the author's personal journey - was absolutely amazing to read. I cried several times. It also discusses as a major component the need for community support, it cannot all be outsourced to a hospital or clinic setting. Amazing book.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

We don’t have to be separate islands sitting alone in our own sorrows. I’m overjoyed to learn of the successful work of this strength based —community model, that is built on the pillars of opening the mind, uplifting, and strengthening. A core principle of “being with”is known to be very effective when working with children but is not always used with adults, until now. This book documents the success of this outstanding work.
My hope is that the work of the Friendship Bench continues to grow and be used worldwide. My intention is to share this book, news of this culturally sensitive work and put into practice the supportive principles of the Friendship Bench.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an interesting book of the history and workings of the Friendship Bench. I am not familiar with much of the history of the African countries, but they sure have reason to have mental health issues like depression, and from what I read in this book, they have some natural ways to help their people. It would have been nice to have met those grandmothers. The author cares so much about his patients.

It was a fast, easy read, a nice story like format.

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Saw the story of the Friendship bench on TV and wanted to know more. What a great idea. The world is full of struggling people who have no one to listen. The grandmothers who sit on the benches are those ears. Well written but I wanted to know more about the people they help and about the original grandmothers themselves. So I give the book a 3 and the folks behind this concept at 5!

[Jen Donnalley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a fascinating concept! The fact that will stay will me is that those who visited with a grandmother on a bench had 80% better results than traditional therapy. Makes sense when you think about it if this is happening in countries where mental health is not viewed for what it is.

[Christianne · Rating 4 out of 5]

The writing is pretty straightforward and won't pull you along unless you're really interested in the topic. But the story is great, and The Friendship Bench concept is one I hope is replicated everywhere.

[Candy · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a brilliant idea - using grandmothers as counselors ...

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Friendship Bench is such a wonderful idea! So glad that Dr. Chibanda wrote a book about his creation so that the world can learn about it.

[Annie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The messages of this book about how The Friendship Bench go far beyond the “how.” Most importantly, it is about why TFB serves a critical purpose in everyone’s life. Beyond a worthwhile read.

[Suequilts · Rating 5 out of 5]

This must read book “opened my mind” in so many ways I had not thought possible. Thank you Dr. Chibando and all the grandmothers who have saved lives and opened minds for millions of people.

[Rosie McDonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read on my kindle and basically highlighted majority of the book. Incredible and would recommend to anyone.

[Christyna Hunter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful true story of the power of community and it's ability to slowly but actively change mental health suffering in the world.

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are powerful messages in the power of connecting to others in a meaningful, caring, and compassionate manner. It was an illuminating book.