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Daddy Blackbird: The true story of a family surviving and thriving after loss by suicide
“We’ve found him. He’s not alive. And it’s clear he has done it to himself.”
These were the fifteen unforgettable words I heard from the police who delivered the shocking news that my husband, Steve, had taken his own life. No warning. No signs. No note left behind. No explanation given.
Loss by suicide is like grief with a microphone. Everything is amplified. Louder, sharper, deafening at times.
Over the years, Caroline has discovered that time cannot heal a catastrophic loss like this. It just dampens the noise a little. All the sorrowful sounds of bereavement continue to be heard through every moment and milestone of life. Yet, the sweet singing of the blackbird can be heard when the storm passes too.
In this book, Caroline reflects on her most personal thoughts, experiences and learnings, and those of her young children, to give a voice to those left behind.
Whether you’re suffering from loss directly, or are supporting a friend, relative or colleague whose loved one has died by suicide, or are struggling with your own mental health, Daddy Blackbird is an honest and relatable account that offers hope beyond the horror.
"Gripping, raw, powerful."
"Deep and authentic."
"Leaves the reader speechless in awe."
"Caroline sticks two fingers up to stigma and shame."“This is a remarkable book that testifies to inspirational strength in the face of unthinkable suffering. Let Caroline take your hand and walk you through her journey of loss and recovery. It will definitely move you. It will probably change you. It might even save you.” Dave Crofts, Writer, poet, friend, cheerleader, communications consultant
“Daddy Blackbird is incredibly sad, yet very important and powerful – the disbelief, the impact, the questions – these are all relatable and common for those who have lost a loved one to suicide. This is a detailed, raw and moving story that will touch many people.” Carolyn Moody MBE, Multi award winner, Fosterwiki ambassador, shared lives Carer, mental health and trauma informed care advocate, champion of child and carers voices
“This is a book that speaks volumes about the experiences of being bereaved by a traumatic loss, and yet leaves the reader speechless in awe. An amazing real life story of resilience, humbleness and raw emotion.” Amandip Sidhu, Multi award winner, compassionate leader and founder of the charity, Doctors in Distress
“Deep and authentic insight into an unimaginable journey of utter devastation towards resilience and hope. This book has such broad appeal and provides tremendous value to multiple different audiences. Particularly captivating was how Caroline supported her girls with the loss of their father. A profound example of the importance of teaching children how to understand and navigate emotions.” Rachel Vecht, Founder of Educating Matters, parent educator and former school teacher
“So much of this story could literally be me! For anyone unfortunate enough to be in our position, this book offers comfort and hope. For those curious, but without lived experience it provides painful insight and probably a new found appreciation for how shit it is at times!” Hannah Pearsall, Head of wellbeing, mental health first aid instructor and wellbeing coach
“A powerful, important a
These were the fifteen unforgettable words I heard from the police who delivered the shocking news that my husband, Steve, had taken his own life. No warning. No signs. No note left behind. No explanation given.
Loss by suicide is like grief with a microphone. Everything is amplified. Louder, sharper, deafening at times.
Over the years, Caroline has discovered that time cannot heal a catastrophic loss like this. It just dampens the noise a little. All the sorrowful sounds of bereavement continue to be heard through every moment and milestone of life. Yet, the sweet singing of the blackbird can be heard when the storm passes too.
In this book, Caroline reflects on her most personal thoughts, experiences and learnings, and those of her young children, to give a voice to those left behind.
Whether you’re suffering from loss directly, or are supporting a friend, relative or colleague whose loved one has died by suicide, or are struggling with your own mental health, Daddy Blackbird is an honest and relatable account that offers hope beyond the horror.
"Gripping, raw, powerful."
"Deep and authentic."
"Leaves the reader speechless in awe."
"Caroline sticks two fingers up to stigma and shame."“This is a remarkable book that testifies to inspirational strength in the face of unthinkable suffering. Let Caroline take your hand and walk you through her journey of loss and recovery. It will definitely move you. It will probably change you. It might even save you.” Dave Crofts, Writer, poet, friend, cheerleader, communications consultant
“Daddy Blackbird is incredibly sad, yet very important and powerful – the disbelief, the impact, the questions – these are all relatable and common for those who have lost a loved one to suicide. This is a detailed, raw and moving story that will touch many people.” Carolyn Moody MBE, Multi award winner, Fosterwiki ambassador, shared lives Carer, mental health and trauma informed care advocate, champion of child and carers voices
“This is a book that speaks volumes about the experiences of being bereaved by a traumatic loss, and yet leaves the reader speechless in awe. An amazing real life story of resilience, humbleness and raw emotion.” Amandip Sidhu, Multi award winner, compassionate leader and founder of the charity, Doctors in Distress
“Deep and authentic insight into an unimaginable journey of utter devastation towards resilience and hope. This book has such broad appeal and provides tremendous value to multiple different audiences. Particularly captivating was how Caroline supported her girls with the loss of their father. A profound example of the importance of teaching children how to understand and navigate emotions.” Rachel Vecht, Founder of Educating Matters, parent educator and former school teacher
“So much of this story could literally be me! For anyone unfortunate enough to be in our position, this book offers comfort and hope. For those curious, but without lived experience it provides painful insight and probably a new found appreciation for how shit it is at times!” Hannah Pearsall, Head of wellbeing, mental health first aid instructor and wellbeing coach
“A powerful, important a
230 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 10, 2024
12 people are currently reading
38 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
October 16, 2024
There are three groups of people I think should read Caroline Roodhouse’s book about her family’s journey after her husband died by suicide:
1. Anyone bereaved by suicide
2. Anyone who knows someone bereaved by suicide or knows someone who has survived an attempt
3. Anyone who has ever considered or tried taking their own life
By my calculation between those three groups that will probably cover everybody, which sounds about right for who should read this book.
You should read this to know that if you’ve been bereaved you’re not alone, and there’s no ‘right’ way to feel.
Read it if you’re not sure what to say to a friend or colleague going through something like this (and if you’re in that situation pledging to ‘be more Emma’ to support those people in your life would seem like a good out come to me. Emma’s Caroline’s best friend and the value of her support shines through in the book.)
And most of all read it if thoughts of taking that ‘permanent solution to a short-term problem’ have ever crossed your mind. Read it to make sure you understand even a little about the pain and confusion that decision will cause for people who know and love you, and please, please let them help you now instead.
Naturally trigger warnings galore apply when reading this book. Caroline highlights this ahead of the most particularly difficult parts. But, her honesty is what shines through and makes this book so powerful, and shying away from the moments of getting the news, telling her eldest daughter at primary school, the inquest, the questions, the anger, would have made this book much less.
If it’s a scenario too raw for you, then skip to part three, aptly titled ‘Hope’, for confirmation that no situation is ever hopeless, no matter how it might feel in the moment(s).
1. Anyone bereaved by suicide
2. Anyone who knows someone bereaved by suicide or knows someone who has survived an attempt
3. Anyone who has ever considered or tried taking their own life
By my calculation between those three groups that will probably cover everybody, which sounds about right for who should read this book.
You should read this to know that if you’ve been bereaved you’re not alone, and there’s no ‘right’ way to feel.
Read it if you’re not sure what to say to a friend or colleague going through something like this (and if you’re in that situation pledging to ‘be more Emma’ to support those people in your life would seem like a good out come to me. Emma’s Caroline’s best friend and the value of her support shines through in the book.)
And most of all read it if thoughts of taking that ‘permanent solution to a short-term problem’ have ever crossed your mind. Read it to make sure you understand even a little about the pain and confusion that decision will cause for people who know and love you, and please, please let them help you now instead.
Naturally trigger warnings galore apply when reading this book. Caroline highlights this ahead of the most particularly difficult parts. But, her honesty is what shines through and makes this book so powerful, and shying away from the moments of getting the news, telling her eldest daughter at primary school, the inquest, the questions, the anger, would have made this book much less.
If it’s a scenario too raw for you, then skip to part three, aptly titled ‘Hope’, for confirmation that no situation is ever hopeless, no matter how it might feel in the moment(s).
Read
December 28, 2024We were kindly gifted this book for our support group’s library and I read it cover to cover in one sitting.
Caroline’s writing is candid, heartfelt, thoughtful and informative. She speaks honestly of her account of losing her husband Steve to suicide, and the ripple effect this had on her family and loved ones.
I was particularly heartened by her perspective on how she supported her girls, and the messy, impossible choices that can be made whilst grieving and in the aftermath of loss.
Caroline’s thoughts on hope and healing and the journey support roles can play, was thought provoking and made me reflect a lot on what more society could do.
As someone who lost a parent to suicide as a teenager (many years ago), I wish this book had been available to read as a young adult. It was helpful to consider the similar journey my mother may have walked.
Caroline - wishing you and your girls many visits with Daddy Blackbird, and for continued hope and comfort.
I can only imagine the courage it must have taken to put these words down on paper.
Im glad you were also able to share some of Steve with us, beyond how he passed. He sounded like a very special man.
Caroline’s writing is candid, heartfelt, thoughtful and informative. She speaks honestly of her account of losing her husband Steve to suicide, and the ripple effect this had on her family and loved ones.
I was particularly heartened by her perspective on how she supported her girls, and the messy, impossible choices that can be made whilst grieving and in the aftermath of loss.
Caroline’s thoughts on hope and healing and the journey support roles can play, was thought provoking and made me reflect a lot on what more society could do.
As someone who lost a parent to suicide as a teenager (many years ago), I wish this book had been available to read as a young adult. It was helpful to consider the similar journey my mother may have walked.
Caroline - wishing you and your girls many visits with Daddy Blackbird, and for continued hope and comfort.
I can only imagine the courage it must have taken to put these words down on paper.
Im glad you were also able to share some of Steve with us, beyond how he passed. He sounded like a very special man.
April 12, 2025
Read it!
This may be the most important book you'll read this year. It's a very honest book on how a husband and father's suicide impacts people's lives. I can highly recommend it to anyone.
This may be the most important book you'll read this year. It's a very honest book on how a husband and father's suicide impacts people's lives. I can highly recommend it to anyone.
July 18, 2025
Having experienced mental health challenges myself, I found this book to be an invaluable insight into the impact of someone taking the ultimate and irreversible step of ending their life.
What happens to the people left behind — the partner, the children? What is it like not to know the reasons behind such a decision, or not to have been told how desperate their partner’s situation had become?
The author gives a brave and honest account of what happened, and how she and her family managed the fallout. She recounts the slow process of recovery and rebuilding her wellbeing — particularly her mental, emotional, and physical health.
I found her detailed descriptions of how she managed both family life and work incredibly insightful, especially the tightly woven action plan she developed to cope.
She did a masterful job of helping me understand the enormity of the change she faced, and I especially appreciated her concept of double parenting — suddenly having to take on the roles of both parents. It’s a far more accurate and powerful phrase than simply calling someone a “single parent.”
A very rewarding and deeply human read. I thoroughly recommend this book.
What happens to the people left behind — the partner, the children? What is it like not to know the reasons behind such a decision, or not to have been told how desperate their partner’s situation had become?
The author gives a brave and honest account of what happened, and how she and her family managed the fallout. She recounts the slow process of recovery and rebuilding her wellbeing — particularly her mental, emotional, and physical health.
I found her detailed descriptions of how she managed both family life and work incredibly insightful, especially the tightly woven action plan she developed to cope.
She did a masterful job of helping me understand the enormity of the change she faced, and I especially appreciated her concept of double parenting — suddenly having to take on the roles of both parents. It’s a far more accurate and powerful phrase than simply calling someone a “single parent.”
A very rewarding and deeply human read. I thoroughly recommend this book.
Read
November 20, 2024Caroline, I can see why your book has gone to Number 1 in the best seller listing. I know its a book you would have preferred not to write. The heartbreak of the loss of your husband, soul mate and best friend must have been overwhelming for you Ada and Evie.
Your book is a raw, honest and detailed account of the journey you started on the day Steve was found. I cannot imagine what you felt and your writing is a testimony to your courage and resilience. Your book moved me to tears and as some one who has a lived experience of suicide, I have no doubt your book will help so many and start conversations which will save lives.
There are angels in all out lives by our side to support and help us and I am grateful you have a best friend like Emma and Steve's mum to support you.
Thank you for your courage in writing Daddy Blackbird. I am going to put it on my recommended reading list on my website and I will honour Steve's memory in supporting you in what ever way I can.
Your book is a raw, honest and detailed account of the journey you started on the day Steve was found. I cannot imagine what you felt and your writing is a testimony to your courage and resilience. Your book moved me to tears and as some one who has a lived experience of suicide, I have no doubt your book will help so many and start conversations which will save lives.
There are angels in all out lives by our side to support and help us and I am grateful you have a best friend like Emma and Steve's mum to support you.
Thank you for your courage in writing Daddy Blackbird. I am going to put it on my recommended reading list on my website and I will honour Steve's memory in supporting you in what ever way I can.
Read
February 16, 2025I read this book and it was a complete roller coaster ride of emotions. There are so many questions that remain unanswered, and tbe only person that could answer them took his life.
Caroline has given everyone an insight into the turmoil of suicide.
Such a lovely, normal fun little family there were, all of a sudden destroyed by such an awful act.
To get to the point of suicide you are literally at the end of your tether and feel there is no way out or back.
There is though!
There always is.
This a such an inspirational and educational book to read from the point of view of a family dealing with suicide.
A must read., as I experienced when reading, it brings home the reality of suicide and the effects it has on all concerned.
Caroline has given everyone an insight into the turmoil of suicide.
Such a lovely, normal fun little family there were, all of a sudden destroyed by such an awful act.
To get to the point of suicide you are literally at the end of your tether and feel there is no way out or back.
There is though!
There always is.
This a such an inspirational and educational book to read from the point of view of a family dealing with suicide.
A must read., as I experienced when reading, it brings home the reality of suicide and the effects it has on all concerned.
November 28, 2024
A roller - coaster of emotions.
Amazing account of how to deal with a sudden death in the family.
Caroline Roadhouse speaks from the heart about the day her whole world turned upside down & how it affects you, your family, close friends & extended community.
Detailing the anger, the devastation, the questions, the utter confusion, the questions, and the ability to function. How this shatters you're confidence, How you question you're ability to raise 2 fantastic children yet still grieve for a lost loved one, carry out day to day mundane jobs and continue to work a demanding job.
The legal authorities you have to speak with, the paperwork, the questions. Yet, still be an amazing mother.
It's deep it's harsh it's also full of love with friends, colleagues & an amazing long list of community helpers.
Please buy this book & read 📚
Four stars - 4.5 stars in all honesty
Amazing account of how to deal with a sudden death in the family.
Caroline Roadhouse speaks from the heart about the day her whole world turned upside down & how it affects you, your family, close friends & extended community.
Detailing the anger, the devastation, the questions, the utter confusion, the questions, and the ability to function. How this shatters you're confidence, How you question you're ability to raise 2 fantastic children yet still grieve for a lost loved one, carry out day to day mundane jobs and continue to work a demanding job.
The legal authorities you have to speak with, the paperwork, the questions. Yet, still be an amazing mother.
It's deep it's harsh it's also full of love with friends, colleagues & an amazing long list of community helpers.
Please buy this book & read 📚
Four stars - 4.5 stars in all honesty
January 1, 2026
I was confronted by the brutality and immense complexity of navigating the impact of suicide, and how loved ones are left behind to try to understand the most important question ‘why’.
Full review: https://library-mind.com/2025/12/24/d...
Full review: https://library-mind.com/2025/12/24/d...
October 22, 2024
Heart rending, then heart warming
A tough story to read that must have been hard to write but so much harder to have lived.
I've had the privilege and pleasure to have spoken with the author - a remarkable, resilient, and candid person
We should all be aware of mindful of this subject.
Buy, read, and share this book.
A tough story to read that must have been hard to write but so much harder to have lived.
I've had the privilege and pleasure to have spoken with the author - a remarkable, resilient, and candid person
We should all be aware of mindful of this subject.
Buy, read, and share this book.
Read
June 1, 2025I dont think its fair to give a star rating on someones grief story. But my god what an emotional, powerful and truly devastating story. I sobbed, I smiled, and I felt every emotion possible… so respectfully and honestly written!
January 18, 2025
I came across this from a LinkedIn post. Desperately sad but beautifully written with practical advice for those who have been impacted
June 2, 2025
Given the synopsis of this book, it does deal with dark themes but nonetheless I found this to be a brilliant read.
February 19, 2025
Literally just put this down and read this over a couple of days.
What an incredibly powerful, inspirational and emotional read that really resonated with me.
Thank you Caroline and your crew of warriors for what you’ve achieved and shared - you will help so many 💙🙏🏽🐦⬛
What an incredibly powerful, inspirational and emotional read that really resonated with me.
Thank you Caroline and your crew of warriors for what you’ve achieved and shared - you will help so many 💙🙏🏽🐦⬛
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews