Raising Loving Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Help Your Kids Connect

by Jonathan Caspi

“Be nice to your sister!” “Stop picking on your brother!” “That's a time-out for both of you." When nothing works to stop the incessant battles, where can exhausted parents turn? Sibling expert and family therapist Jonathan Caspi knows that understanding why kids fight is the first essential step to restoring peace. Featuring clear principles, dos and don'ts, and loads of stories, this book shines a spotlight on family dynamics. Dr. Caspi guides you to make an effective plan for managing conflicts, so you can keep a cool head in the heat of the moment. Learn why it's never helpful to compare kids to each other, how to quell sibling struggles without taking sides, when to intervene (and when to step back), and what to do when parents aren't on the same page. Improving sibling relationships can have lifelong benefits for your family. This compassionate book shows how.

Genres: Parenting

192 pages, Hardcover

Published February 14, 2025

Reviews

[Gello · Rating 2 out of 5]

Caspi identifies dynamics that can lead to sibling conflict. His solution often seems to be to make a rule -- for example, no insults or put downs. When a child violates the rule, he recommends a consequence such as no iPad for the rest of the day.

This is such bad advice, it's somewhat shocking to me that the author has been a therapist for 30 years. If followed consistently, this advice is more likely to increase the sibling conflict.

The reason I didn't give the book just one star is because some readers might recognize the dynamics in their own family. Perhaps this could be helpful for some people. But please don't take his advice about what to do to change them!

[Laura Lungu · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was one of the worst books I have ever read about parenting. The only good things in it are: not to compare children, label, use favoritism in your parent-child relationship and let kids find their conflict solutions, help them acnowledge their emotions, check your emotions but with the rest I really don't agree. I don't like the use of rewards and still a lot of behaviour controlling style in parenting. I like structure in general but I have read way better books for parenting than this one.