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HarperNorth Illuminated All the Things IVe Left Unsaid.
All the things I left unsaid…
Melanie Sykes has been a face on our screens, a voice on our radios for nearly thirty years. As a presenter and broadcaster people turned to her for her humour, her honesty and insight. But between all the interviews and chat shows, is a life unseen, a story unsaid.
Her journey – from up north to down south, from Manchester to LA and via London, Paris and India, and through the eye of the storm of celebrity culture is a rollercoaster ride. Sex, drugs and rock and roll, certainly, but also brass bands and ice cream vans, broken hearts and healing adventures – a search not for fame but for freedom.
Her autism diagnosis in midlife has supercharged that journey – and means this isn’t a story just of breakdown, but of breakthrough. Funny, furious and gloriously frank, this is a book that lifts the lid on being a woman in the media, navigating relationships, and being a neurodivergent person speaking up in a neurotypical world. Illuminated is Melanie, in her own inimitable voice.
Melanie Sykes has been a face on our screens, a voice on our radios for nearly thirty years. As a presenter and broadcaster people turned to her for her humour, her honesty and insight. But between all the interviews and chat shows, is a life unseen, a story unsaid.
Her journey – from up north to down south, from Manchester to LA and via London, Paris and India, and through the eye of the storm of celebrity culture is a rollercoaster ride. Sex, drugs and rock and roll, certainly, but also brass bands and ice cream vans, broken hearts and healing adventures – a search not for fame but for freedom.
Her autism diagnosis in midlife has supercharged that journey – and means this isn’t a story just of breakdown, but of breakthrough. Funny, furious and gloriously frank, this is a book that lifts the lid on being a woman in the media, navigating relationships, and being a neurodivergent person speaking up in a neurotypical world. Illuminated is Melanie, in her own inimitable voice.
304 pages, Paperback
Published April 25, 2024
23 people are currently reading
157 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
July 19, 2023
It's difficult to rate a memoir, especially where you've enjoyed some parts of it but others less so. It is someone's life story (someone's truth, in today's parlance) so who am I to judge etc.
Illuminated is British TV presenter and autism activist Melanie Sykes' memoir, and she takes the reader on a journey through her life, from her childhood in a small town in the North West of England to her life as a high-profile model and TV presenter, her personal relationships, family and children, and her autism diagnosis at 51 (her diagnosis is really only discussed in the last two chapters, despite the book's title).
What I enjoyed most about this book was Sykes' dissection of 1990s ladette culture, the toxic tabloid industry and its objectification of women, the misogyny that was (is?) so rife in the entertainment industry and her frankness around her relationships, some of which were with well-known men (Matt Goss of Bros among them).
What I liked less was the general lack of any sense of personal accountability. Sykes attributes a lot of what went wrong in her life to other people being awful and to her latent autism. There's also a vague hint of anti-vaxx and anti-lockdown sentiment (some subtle remarks about both), anti-conventional medicine (menopause seems to a mind over matter issue for Sykes and she dismisses the need for HRT out of hand when she was able to breathe her anxiety out). I get how being stalked by the press for 30 years of your life might lead to paranoia, but there's a vague smell of conspiracy theory in the book that was off-putting.
For a book that was warm and enjoyable for much of it, I was glad to have reached the last page. I wish Sykes nothing but the best - she's brilliant at what she does, and she's clearly a devoted mother to her boys. She was herself exploited several times by others who did not have her best interests at heart (she refers to it in the book). I hope that she finds lasting happiness and success in her personal and professional life.
Many thanks to @harpercollinsire for the #gifted copy. As always, this is an honest review.
Illuminated is British TV presenter and autism activist Melanie Sykes' memoir, and she takes the reader on a journey through her life, from her childhood in a small town in the North West of England to her life as a high-profile model and TV presenter, her personal relationships, family and children, and her autism diagnosis at 51 (her diagnosis is really only discussed in the last two chapters, despite the book's title).
What I enjoyed most about this book was Sykes' dissection of 1990s ladette culture, the toxic tabloid industry and its objectification of women, the misogyny that was (is?) so rife in the entertainment industry and her frankness around her relationships, some of which were with well-known men (Matt Goss of Bros among them).
What I liked less was the general lack of any sense of personal accountability. Sykes attributes a lot of what went wrong in her life to other people being awful and to her latent autism. There's also a vague hint of anti-vaxx and anti-lockdown sentiment (some subtle remarks about both), anti-conventional medicine (menopause seems to a mind over matter issue for Sykes and she dismisses the need for HRT out of hand when she was able to breathe her anxiety out). I get how being stalked by the press for 30 years of your life might lead to paranoia, but there's a vague smell of conspiracy theory in the book that was off-putting.
For a book that was warm and enjoyable for much of it, I was glad to have reached the last page. I wish Sykes nothing but the best - she's brilliant at what she does, and she's clearly a devoted mother to her boys. She was herself exploited several times by others who did not have her best interests at heart (she refers to it in the book). I hope that she finds lasting happiness and success in her personal and professional life.
Many thanks to @harpercollinsire for the #gifted copy. As always, this is an honest review.
August 22, 2023
Really disappointing. The title does not reflect the content of this memoir. I went into this expecting an indepth reflection on living as an autistic person, however this was more of a chronological collection about living as a model and TV presenter in a misogynistic industry. It was difficult to relate to and the late autism diagnosis was only briefly brushed over in one of the last few chapters, and even then she only shared she was diagnosed after a few tests. There wasn't much of a reflection on how autism affected her as person, how she lived day to day life and who she is as a person. When describing her earlier years and later life, there was no indication or reflection from her part of the difficulties she experienced that was related to being autistic. If Autism wasn't in the title, you wouldn't have even known this was a memoir from an autistic person because she rarely reflected on it or talked about it.
November 2, 2023
This was quite disappointing. (Feel harsh rating someone’s story low but…)
Firstly, I found the writing to be rather basic & underdeveloped which did not make for the best reading experience.
However, my main issue is with the marketing/premise established at the beginning of the book.
I think that incorporating 'autism' into the title is pretty misleading. This entire book has very little to do with Melanie's autism and it is much more of a typical memoir/autobiography in which she narrates events in her personal life & career, there is very little retrospection actually linked to her diagnosis. I totally support the book as a platform for her to reclaim the narrative that the media has unfairly and inaccurately crafted about her throughout the course of her career but in my opinion that should have been emphasised over the theme of neurodivergency.
Firstly, I found the writing to be rather basic & underdeveloped which did not make for the best reading experience.
However, my main issue is with the marketing/premise established at the beginning of the book.
I think that incorporating 'autism' into the title is pretty misleading. This entire book has very little to do with Melanie's autism and it is much more of a typical memoir/autobiography in which she narrates events in her personal life & career, there is very little retrospection actually linked to her diagnosis. I totally support the book as a platform for her to reclaim the narrative that the media has unfairly and inaccurately crafted about her throughout the course of her career but in my opinion that should have been emphasised over the theme of neurodivergency.
June 5, 2023
Very honest account of her life. The media have a lot to answer for. Wish she'd be back on the radio as loved her radio 2 show with Alan Carr , produced by Malcolm Prince, as it was obvious they all got on as their shows were such a hoot.
January 27, 2025
As others have said, I found this a little disappointing. I expected to read more about her diagnosis and how it impacted on her life before and after. I've always really liked her on TV but I feel differently now. I felt her almost dismissal of menopause was harsh. Not every woman can just breathe through anxiety or fan away a hot flush. When she described having a nervous breakdown then having a cream tea with her friend not long after, I just felt a bit uncomfortable.I know everyone's experience is unique and perhaps if she had written more fully it would have been better. I'm glad she got her diagnosis and that she felt she had found herself but I just didn't enjoy her book as much as I expected to.
July 15, 2025
Title quite misleading- Memoir focuses too much on experience of entertainment industry and not enough on Autism diagnosis.
Writing a little too basic.
Not for me unfortunately 😕
Writing a little too basic.
Not for me unfortunately 😕
August 4, 2023
Spoiler alert: if you, like me, are expecting more on the autism skip forward to around half way through Chapter 21.
Otherwise it’s all about Melanie Sykes’s career and it’s basically an autobiography which I guess, with the title, I wasn’t overly expecting.
If you’re a fan of Melanie Sykes and the general life of a celebrity in the 90’s then you’ll probably enjoy this box.
Melanie Sykes is a likeable personality, but for me, the early life and times of a model just isn’t particularly interesting.
Also, there’s a quote at the end where she says something along the lines of “I could write a book with the stories where I’ve been abused by the patriarchy”, well she kinda has.
It just wasn’t what I expected when the title emphasises the autism. I was hoping the book would give people in the public eye with autism more of a voice.
It was interestingly reflective at points regarding her ASD diagnosis but overall, not enough for what I was expecting.
Otherwise it’s all about Melanie Sykes’s career and it’s basically an autobiography which I guess, with the title, I wasn’t overly expecting.
If you’re a fan of Melanie Sykes and the general life of a celebrity in the 90’s then you’ll probably enjoy this box.
Melanie Sykes is a likeable personality, but for me, the early life and times of a model just isn’t particularly interesting.
Also, there’s a quote at the end where she says something along the lines of “I could write a book with the stories where I’ve been abused by the patriarchy”, well she kinda has.
It just wasn’t what I expected when the title emphasises the autism. I was hoping the book would give people in the public eye with autism more of a voice.
It was interestingly reflective at points regarding her ASD diagnosis but overall, not enough for what I was expecting.
July 30, 2023
I’ve rated this book based upon how I feel immediately after reading it.
I didn’t know much about Melanie before starting this, I actually just liked the front cover!
I am not aware of most of the celebrities referenced but I can relate to Melanie.
Her writing is clear, honest but full of emotion. A bit like how I think I talk, a stream of thoughts (but she put hers in order). Her diagnosis of neurodiversity preceded mine but I can see so much of my experience in hers. I feel the anger and disbelief with her through the betrayals and was quite ignorant of the extent of the harassment she and others face and it is disgusting, never mind the other countless ways she has been mistreated. Thank you for being honest.
I am hopeful I can also be illuminated
I didn’t know much about Melanie before starting this, I actually just liked the front cover!
I am not aware of most of the celebrities referenced but I can relate to Melanie.
Her writing is clear, honest but full of emotion. A bit like how I think I talk, a stream of thoughts (but she put hers in order). Her diagnosis of neurodiversity preceded mine but I can see so much of my experience in hers. I feel the anger and disbelief with her through the betrayals and was quite ignorant of the extent of the harassment she and others face and it is disgusting, never mind the other countless ways she has been mistreated. Thank you for being honest.
I am hopeful I can also be illuminated
September 6, 2023
I loved this book.
I saw Melanie at Carfest the other weekend and heard her talk openly about the book…I was intrigued.
So I got it.
I’ve really really enjoyed it
I saw Melanie at Carfest the other weekend and heard her talk openly about the book…I was intrigued.
So I got it.
I’ve really really enjoyed it
February 24, 2025
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5/5 stars)
Illuminated is a deeply personal and unfiltered memoir from Melanie Sykes, offering an intimate look at her life, career, and the profound revelation of being diagnosed with autism and ADHD at 51. While it may not be the most polished autobiography, what it lacks in literary finesse, it makes up for in honesty, vulnerability, and emotional depth. This book isn’t just about her diagnosis—it’s about navigating life undiagnosed, the misogyny and scrutiny she faced in the entertainment industry, and the challenges of love, relationships, and self-discovery.
Listening to the audiobook version, narrated by Sykes herself, added another layer of authenticity and emotional weight. The inflection, pauses, and raw emotion in her voice made the experience even more powerful, as if she were speaking directly to the listener.
---
Melanie Sykes takes us through her working-class Manchester upbringing, her rise to fame in British media, and the pressures, discrimination, and scrutiny she faced as a woman in the industry. But at the heart of the book is her autism and ADHD diagnosis, which becomes the missing puzzle piece in understanding her lifelong struggles with sensory overload, burnout, and feeling out of step with the world.
She also doesn’t shy away from difficult truths—her failed relationships, the toxic dynamics of fame, and how systemic sexism shaped her career. Through her reflections, she explores what it means to reclaim your narrative, especially after years of misunderstanding yourself.
---
Themes & Discourse
💡 Late Autism & ADHD Diagnosis – Sykes rethinks her entire life through the lens of neurodivergence, reflecting on how earlier diagnosis could have changed everything. Many of her experiences are written with the understanding and foreshadowing that her diagnosis will bring.
💡 Misogyny in the Entertainment Industry – She exposes the double standards in media, from ageism and sexism to the ways women are hyper-scrutinized compared to men.
💡 Media & Public Scrutiny – She talks about the intrusive, often dehumanizing treatment of women in tabloids, where personal lives and appearances are valued over actual talent.
💡 Relationships & Self-Discovery – From marriages and divorces to dating as a neurodivergent woman, she delves into why relationships have always been difficult for her and how her diagnosis helped her understand herself better.
💡 Resilience & Finding Your Voice – At its core, this book is about self-acceptance—learning to trust yourself, stand up against injustice, and embrace who you truly are.
---
What Worked For Me
✔ Raw Honesty & Emotional Depth – Sykes doesn’t hold back, making this memoir relatable and deeply personal. As a late diagnosed Audhd woman, I found so much of Melanie's story, experiences and thoughts deeply relatable.
✔ Powerful Audiobook Experience – Hearing her own voice narrate her struggles and triumphs made the story even more impactful.
✔ Important Conversations on Neurodivergence & Gender Bias – The book highlights real issues in media, relationships, and healthcare, making it an eye-opening read.
---
Critiques & Potential Drawbacks
⚠ Pacing & Structure – The book jumps between topics, and some sections could have been more structured for a smoother flow.
⚠ More Focus on Autism Would Have Been Ideal for me– While her diagnosis is central, some readers, myself included, might have expected a deeper dive into how autism shaped her life before and after.
⚠ Simple Writing Style – It’s not the most literary or polished memoir, but its authenticity makes up for it.
Who Will Love This Book?
✔ Readers Interested in Neurodivergence – If you’ve ever wondered about late autism/ADHD diagnoses, this book offers a personal perspective.
✔ Fans of Honest, No-Filter Memoirs – If you enjoy raw, candid life stories, this one doesn’t sugarcoat anything.
✔ Those Interested in Gender & Media Studies – If you’re fascinated by how women are treated differently in public spaces, this memoir pulls back the curtain.
---
Who Might Not Love This Book?
❌ Readers Expecting a Deep Dive on Neurodivergence – While it’s a huge part of the book, the focus is broader, covering relationships, media, and personal struggles. This is Melanie's experience.
❌ Those Who Prefer Literary Memoirs – The writing is simple and conversational, so if you’re looking for beautifully crafted prose, this might not be the right fit.
Final Thoughts
Illuminated is not just a book about autism—it’s a book about resilience, self-discovery, and refusing to be silenced. While the writing may not be the most polished, its emotional honesty and powerful social commentary make it a deeply compelling read. If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, boxed in, or underestimated, Sykes’ story will resonate in ways you won’t expect.
🎧 Highly recommended as an audiobook for an even more immersive experience.
(Unless I really do not enjoy an autobiography or find problematic narratives, I will almost always give a 5🌟 review, who am I to say someone life and their story is only worth 4!)
Illuminated is a deeply personal and unfiltered memoir from Melanie Sykes, offering an intimate look at her life, career, and the profound revelation of being diagnosed with autism and ADHD at 51. While it may not be the most polished autobiography, what it lacks in literary finesse, it makes up for in honesty, vulnerability, and emotional depth. This book isn’t just about her diagnosis—it’s about navigating life undiagnosed, the misogyny and scrutiny she faced in the entertainment industry, and the challenges of love, relationships, and self-discovery.
Listening to the audiobook version, narrated by Sykes herself, added another layer of authenticity and emotional weight. The inflection, pauses, and raw emotion in her voice made the experience even more powerful, as if she were speaking directly to the listener.
---
Melanie Sykes takes us through her working-class Manchester upbringing, her rise to fame in British media, and the pressures, discrimination, and scrutiny she faced as a woman in the industry. But at the heart of the book is her autism and ADHD diagnosis, which becomes the missing puzzle piece in understanding her lifelong struggles with sensory overload, burnout, and feeling out of step with the world.
She also doesn’t shy away from difficult truths—her failed relationships, the toxic dynamics of fame, and how systemic sexism shaped her career. Through her reflections, she explores what it means to reclaim your narrative, especially after years of misunderstanding yourself.
---
Themes & Discourse
💡 Late Autism & ADHD Diagnosis – Sykes rethinks her entire life through the lens of neurodivergence, reflecting on how earlier diagnosis could have changed everything. Many of her experiences are written with the understanding and foreshadowing that her diagnosis will bring.
💡 Misogyny in the Entertainment Industry – She exposes the double standards in media, from ageism and sexism to the ways women are hyper-scrutinized compared to men.
💡 Media & Public Scrutiny – She talks about the intrusive, often dehumanizing treatment of women in tabloids, where personal lives and appearances are valued over actual talent.
💡 Relationships & Self-Discovery – From marriages and divorces to dating as a neurodivergent woman, she delves into why relationships have always been difficult for her and how her diagnosis helped her understand herself better.
💡 Resilience & Finding Your Voice – At its core, this book is about self-acceptance—learning to trust yourself, stand up against injustice, and embrace who you truly are.
---
What Worked For Me
✔ Raw Honesty & Emotional Depth – Sykes doesn’t hold back, making this memoir relatable and deeply personal. As a late diagnosed Audhd woman, I found so much of Melanie's story, experiences and thoughts deeply relatable.
✔ Powerful Audiobook Experience – Hearing her own voice narrate her struggles and triumphs made the story even more impactful.
✔ Important Conversations on Neurodivergence & Gender Bias – The book highlights real issues in media, relationships, and healthcare, making it an eye-opening read.
---
Critiques & Potential Drawbacks
⚠ Pacing & Structure – The book jumps between topics, and some sections could have been more structured for a smoother flow.
⚠ More Focus on Autism Would Have Been Ideal for me– While her diagnosis is central, some readers, myself included, might have expected a deeper dive into how autism shaped her life before and after.
⚠ Simple Writing Style – It’s not the most literary or polished memoir, but its authenticity makes up for it.
Who Will Love This Book?
✔ Readers Interested in Neurodivergence – If you’ve ever wondered about late autism/ADHD diagnoses, this book offers a personal perspective.
✔ Fans of Honest, No-Filter Memoirs – If you enjoy raw, candid life stories, this one doesn’t sugarcoat anything.
✔ Those Interested in Gender & Media Studies – If you’re fascinated by how women are treated differently in public spaces, this memoir pulls back the curtain.
---
Who Might Not Love This Book?
❌ Readers Expecting a Deep Dive on Neurodivergence – While it’s a huge part of the book, the focus is broader, covering relationships, media, and personal struggles. This is Melanie's experience.
❌ Those Who Prefer Literary Memoirs – The writing is simple and conversational, so if you’re looking for beautifully crafted prose, this might not be the right fit.
Final Thoughts
Illuminated is not just a book about autism—it’s a book about resilience, self-discovery, and refusing to be silenced. While the writing may not be the most polished, its emotional honesty and powerful social commentary make it a deeply compelling read. If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, boxed in, or underestimated, Sykes’ story will resonate in ways you won’t expect.
🎧 Highly recommended as an audiobook for an even more immersive experience.
(Unless I really do not enjoy an autobiography or find problematic narratives, I will almost always give a 5🌟 review, who am I to say someone life and their story is only worth 4!)
January 31, 2025
When I started Illuminated, I was curious about the story of Melanie Sykes, a woman who has been a well-known figure in the British media for many years. Her autobiography promised an open and candid look at her life, career, and her late autism diagnosis. What I found was an honest and powerful account, but also a book that did not entirely meet my expectations.
From the very beginning, I was struck by Sykes' honesty and directness. She does not hold back and shares her experiences openly, both in her personal life and within the entertainment industry. Her story of growing up in northwest England, breaking into the media, and navigating the ‘ladette’ culture of the 1990s was particularly insightful. The way she analyzes the role of tabloids and the media industry effectively highlights how women were often reduced to superficial images and the damaging impact this could have.
However, I was somewhat disappointed by how her autism diagnosis was addressed in the book. Given the title, I expected a deep reflection on how she came to see her life through a new lens after her diagnosis. However, this topic only emerged towards the end and felt somewhat underexplored. I had hoped to read more about how she reinterpreted her past experiences in light of her autism, but this aspect remained largely unexamined.
Additionally, the writing style and structure sometimes made it difficult for me to fully engage with the book. The chapters occasionally felt like a sequence of events without much depth or coherence. There were moments when I wished for more introspection, a greater emotional connection to the events, and less of a factual recounting.
That being said, I did not find Illuminated to be a disappointing read. It is a compelling autobiography of a woman who has managed to hold her own in a demanding and often ruthless industry. Her resilience and determination are admirable, and her insights into the media world and the treatment of women within it are valuable. As a book about autism, it fell short of my expectations, but as the life story of a woman who has forged her own path, it is certainly worth reading.
From the very beginning, I was struck by Sykes' honesty and directness. She does not hold back and shares her experiences openly, both in her personal life and within the entertainment industry. Her story of growing up in northwest England, breaking into the media, and navigating the ‘ladette’ culture of the 1990s was particularly insightful. The way she analyzes the role of tabloids and the media industry effectively highlights how women were often reduced to superficial images and the damaging impact this could have.
However, I was somewhat disappointed by how her autism diagnosis was addressed in the book. Given the title, I expected a deep reflection on how she came to see her life through a new lens after her diagnosis. However, this topic only emerged towards the end and felt somewhat underexplored. I had hoped to read more about how she reinterpreted her past experiences in light of her autism, but this aspect remained largely unexamined.
Additionally, the writing style and structure sometimes made it difficult for me to fully engage with the book. The chapters occasionally felt like a sequence of events without much depth or coherence. There were moments when I wished for more introspection, a greater emotional connection to the events, and less of a factual recounting.
That being said, I did not find Illuminated to be a disappointing read. It is a compelling autobiography of a woman who has managed to hold her own in a demanding and often ruthless industry. Her resilience and determination are admirable, and her insights into the media world and the treatment of women within it are valuable. As a book about autism, it fell short of my expectations, but as the life story of a woman who has forged her own path, it is certainly worth reading.
August 2, 2023
As a teen in the 1990's Melanie Sykes was a name we all knew and loved. Boys thought Melanie was beautiful and had great banter and girls loved her style and ladette, girl next door attitude. Melanie was the face of adverts and popular TV shows and there wasn't a magazine or red top that didn't have pictures or gossip articles about her. A proper Northern lass, proud of her accent and roots it was hard not to like Melanie. In later years we saw Melanie on lots of chat shows as a panelist and on reality TV shows. Straight talking and never one to shy away from giving her opinion Melanie has not been out of the media's eye until recently. Now in her 50's Melanie recently was diagnosed as being autistic and having ADHD. Her son received his diagnosis and noticing the traits, Melanie decided to go for an assessment.
Following her diagnosis she looks back at how it now all makes sense, her discomfort due to sensory issues when wearing an ear piece on TV, the masking due to not being diagnosed that led to drinking excessively. Her honesty in this memoir surrounding a mental breakdown, sexism and harassment working as a female in the TV industry, physical and coercive abusive relationships is commendable and at times harrowing to read.
Reading this memoir I could hear Melanie's voice and glorious accent shining out as she details with humour, honesty and at times sheer anger and frustration her life from her childhood in Manchester to a jet setting life around the world. Not just a memoir, there's laughs a plenty when she talks about brass bands and ice cream vans which offers relief when reading about the dark side of celebrity life, drink and drugs and relationships. A fascinating insight into a celebrity, a mother, lover, friend and a neurodiverse woman and the importance that receiving an early diagnosis in life can have in gaining support and understanding.
Following her diagnosis she looks back at how it now all makes sense, her discomfort due to sensory issues when wearing an ear piece on TV, the masking due to not being diagnosed that led to drinking excessively. Her honesty in this memoir surrounding a mental breakdown, sexism and harassment working as a female in the TV industry, physical and coercive abusive relationships is commendable and at times harrowing to read.
Reading this memoir I could hear Melanie's voice and glorious accent shining out as she details with humour, honesty and at times sheer anger and frustration her life from her childhood in Manchester to a jet setting life around the world. Not just a memoir, there's laughs a plenty when she talks about brass bands and ice cream vans which offers relief when reading about the dark side of celebrity life, drink and drugs and relationships. A fascinating insight into a celebrity, a mother, lover, friend and a neurodiverse woman and the importance that receiving an early diagnosis in life can have in gaining support and understanding.
May 2, 2024
Wow! I’m not a big autobiography reader but I raced through this! Although I need a lie down now to recover! What a rollercoaster!!
I’m roughly the same age as Melanie and from the North West too. Growing up in the ‘70’s/80’s made it relatable - when her parents said ‘up the dancers’ it made me chuckle, as it’s something my parents would say and something I’ve not heard for years! The rag ‘n’ bone man, the pop man, putting 50p in the meter and when she recalled Boy George’s first appearance on Top of the Pops - I also remember that vividly, everyone trying to guess if he was a man or woman!
I remember Melanie’s famous Boddingtons advert, some TV shows and bits of things written in the news about her. I was an avid listener of ‘Going Out with Alan Carr’ on Radio 2 - giggling along with them each week.
‘Illuminated’ is Melanie’s honest, frank and truthful account of her life, her story. Melanie bares her soul, and is so refreshingly honest. She eloquently describes her highs and painful lows in both her career and personal life; how she has been so badly mistreated, used and subsequently hurt in the process. After her Autism diagnosis and then a breakdown, Melanie tells us how she slowly begins to find her true self and start to lead a life where she is centred and grounded.
It seems a bit odd to rate an autobiography but I am giving it five stars, because I loved reading Melanie’s story, told in her own sincere words. I could actually hear her voice as I read it! I think she’s strong, brave, inspirational, and so so funny!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I’m roughly the same age as Melanie and from the North West too. Growing up in the ‘70’s/80’s made it relatable - when her parents said ‘up the dancers’ it made me chuckle, as it’s something my parents would say and something I’ve not heard for years! The rag ‘n’ bone man, the pop man, putting 50p in the meter and when she recalled Boy George’s first appearance on Top of the Pops - I also remember that vividly, everyone trying to guess if he was a man or woman!
I remember Melanie’s famous Boddingtons advert, some TV shows and bits of things written in the news about her. I was an avid listener of ‘Going Out with Alan Carr’ on Radio 2 - giggling along with them each week.
‘Illuminated’ is Melanie’s honest, frank and truthful account of her life, her story. Melanie bares her soul, and is so refreshingly honest. She eloquently describes her highs and painful lows in both her career and personal life; how she has been so badly mistreated, used and subsequently hurt in the process. After her Autism diagnosis and then a breakdown, Melanie tells us how she slowly begins to find her true self and start to lead a life where she is centred and grounded.
It seems a bit odd to rate an autobiography but I am giving it five stars, because I loved reading Melanie’s story, told in her own sincere words. I could actually hear her voice as I read it! I think she’s strong, brave, inspirational, and so so funny!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
October 21, 2023
I was somewhat disappointed by this book. As others have said, it was less about the author’s autism and more of a general autobiography. Ms Sykes has clearly led a very full and interesting life, and has worked hard to get where she is, plus she’s a lot more intelligent and cultured than I’d previously given her credit for, with an appreciation for books, art, and travel. She also seems to have had more than her fair share of disasters, both in her romantic relationships and with her finances. However I would have liked a lot more insight into her autism: her autistic traits; her reflections on her childhood and how autism must have affected it; any research she had done into neurodivergency; any coping strategies she had developed. This was covered, but in much less depth than the title would suggest.
However my main issue with the book was that it was very clumsily written. I found her excessive use of the word ‘and’ where a comma should have been placed extremely irritating, and there were passages which lacked structure. She berates journalists at one point for their limited vocabulary, but she could do with expanding her own in places. If she decides to write any more books, she needs to find a new editor!
However my main issue with the book was that it was very clumsily written. I found her excessive use of the word ‘and’ where a comma should have been placed extremely irritating, and there were passages which lacked structure. She berates journalists at one point for their limited vocabulary, but she could do with expanding her own in places. If she decides to write any more books, she needs to find a new editor!
February 20, 2025
I enjoyed this memoir for what it is - a late diagnosed AuDHD woman who talks frankly about her life, and the late realisation that she is autistic. I found it very relatable.
She hasn't explained her life through an explicitly autustic lens (as in, she doesn't mention autism or ADHD every paragraph or say why each example is autistic), but they are autistic experiences. Sykes reflects on how difficult school, work and relationships were. Especially when you're inclined to trust what people say, and how hurtful and betraying it is when you realise they have lied. Masking is so exhausting, and it's a safety mechanism against others but really messes with your perception of yourself.
I see other reviewers say she hints at being anti-vax etc... I suspect these readers are taking hidden meaning from very straightforward statements (there was the MMR scare, which she acknowledges was wrong). Autistic people are very direct, if Sykes wanted to give her opinion I'm sure she would have since the rest of the book is so straight to the point.
She hasn't explained her life through an explicitly autustic lens (as in, she doesn't mention autism or ADHD every paragraph or say why each example is autistic), but they are autistic experiences. Sykes reflects on how difficult school, work and relationships were. Especially when you're inclined to trust what people say, and how hurtful and betraying it is when you realise they have lied. Masking is so exhausting, and it's a safety mechanism against others but really messes with your perception of yourself.
I see other reviewers say she hints at being anti-vax etc... I suspect these readers are taking hidden meaning from very straightforward statements (there was the MMR scare, which she acknowledges was wrong). Autistic people are very direct, if Sykes wanted to give her opinion I'm sure she would have since the rest of the book is so straight to the point.
February 2, 2024
Whilst Melanie has obviously been through a lot with the media and with relationships both romantic and friends, which she mentions in the book.
I felt the structure of the book at times was disjointed and with very basic language used (it appears she 'loves' a lot of people), along with some flippant remarks, without a full explanation where she's coming from - her experience of menopause may be minimal compared to others that use hrt; and that 'boys will be boys' so don't need to mask their autism without taking into account hormonal differences between boys and girls, or the changes in the education system over time.
There was very little reflection of autism over her life span with it only mentioned towards the end.
The book definitely reads better towards the end and it is evident throughout of her loves her boys.
I felt the structure of the book at times was disjointed and with very basic language used (it appears she 'loves' a lot of people), along with some flippant remarks, without a full explanation where she's coming from - her experience of menopause may be minimal compared to others that use hrt; and that 'boys will be boys' so don't need to mask their autism without taking into account hormonal differences between boys and girls, or the changes in the education system over time.
There was very little reflection of autism over her life span with it only mentioned towards the end.
The book definitely reads better towards the end and it is evident throughout of her loves her boys.
March 7, 2024
Having watched Melanie for years on the TV and thoroughly enjoyed her radio series with Alan Carr, I was interested to see what Melanie had to say about her life, in her words rather than through the sensationalised headlines of the media.
I’ll be honest, based on the title ‘Autism and all the things I’ve left unsaid’, I read this thinking it might be centred around her Autism diagnosis and perhaps a dissection of how things have happened in her life as a result of her Autism. It isn’t. It’s a good read nevertheless, and it was interesting to get to know Melanie away from the magazine gossip.
It’s interesting to read about her experiences with the 90’s ‘ladette’ culture and how the media have at times hounded her unfairly and I genuinely felt for her. It’s a good read to get to know Melanie herself - I just think the title could be slightly misleading.
I’ll be honest, based on the title ‘Autism and all the things I’ve left unsaid’, I read this thinking it might be centred around her Autism diagnosis and perhaps a dissection of how things have happened in her life as a result of her Autism. It isn’t. It’s a good read nevertheless, and it was interesting to get to know Melanie away from the magazine gossip.
It’s interesting to read about her experiences with the 90’s ‘ladette’ culture and how the media have at times hounded her unfairly and I genuinely felt for her. It’s a good read to get to know Melanie herself - I just think the title could be slightly misleading.
July 31, 2023
**Listened to the audio book**
Love that Melanie Sykes narrated this book as it just made it feel more relatable.
However, I was a little disappointed that she did not speak more about Autism. This is a memoir that hints on her diagnosis. However, the title makes it seem like autism is the key focus in the book. That is not really the case.
I'm a fan of Sykes, so didn't mind learning more about her life but if you have picked this book up wanting lots of info and personal insight about autism, I feel you may be disappointed.
Love that Melanie Sykes narrated this book as it just made it feel more relatable.
However, I was a little disappointed that she did not speak more about Autism. This is a memoir that hints on her diagnosis. However, the title makes it seem like autism is the key focus in the book. That is not really the case.
I'm a fan of Sykes, so didn't mind learning more about her life but if you have picked this book up wanting lots of info and personal insight about autism, I feel you may be disappointed.
August 2, 2023
Misleading title.
I confess I didn't finish it. I wanted to read the book because I'm a woman of a similar age and have recently learned that I'm autistic. I was excited to read about someone else's experiences. But after reading many not so fascinating details of her childhood and still no mention of autism or any difficulties resulting, I gave up. I'd recommend this book only if you're really interested to read all about the author's life, and not if you're wanting to learn about her experiences as a late diagnosed autistic female.
I confess I didn't finish it. I wanted to read the book because I'm a woman of a similar age and have recently learned that I'm autistic. I was excited to read about someone else's experiences. But after reading many not so fascinating details of her childhood and still no mention of autism or any difficulties resulting, I gave up. I'd recommend this book only if you're really interested to read all about the author's life, and not if you're wanting to learn about her experiences as a late diagnosed autistic female.
September 21, 2023
I picked this book up as I am waiting on a late diagnosis of autism and possibly adhd so the title spoke to me, I had also noticed a talk at Durham book festival in October and wanted to attend!
I really loved it and could relate on so many levels to Melanie’s struggles/destructive behaviour and how it feels when you have the lightbulb moment that you aren’t broken, your brain just works differently to others and once you accept this and start to harness it, things start to get better, definitely recommend for anyone late diagnosed/going through the process currently.
I really loved it and could relate on so many levels to Melanie’s struggles/destructive behaviour and how it feels when you have the lightbulb moment that you aren’t broken, your brain just works differently to others and once you accept this and start to harness it, things start to get better, definitely recommend for anyone late diagnosed/going through the process currently.
November 27, 2023
Avoid this book if you're looking for writing on late-in-life autism diagnosis.
Misleading title and marketing -- I expected this book to focus on the author's late diagnosis of autism, especially considering it's right there in the title, but instead it's an all-over-the-place autobiography that only occasionally goes into her autism. It's also so poorly edited that I wonder if it was rushed to publication; there are so many glaring mistakes, sentences that abruptly cut off, and frantic topic changes. Disappointing.
Misleading title and marketing -- I expected this book to focus on the author's late diagnosis of autism, especially considering it's right there in the title, but instead it's an all-over-the-place autobiography that only occasionally goes into her autism. It's also so poorly edited that I wonder if it was rushed to publication; there are so many glaring mistakes, sentences that abruptly cut off, and frantic topic changes. Disappointing.
July 31, 2023
Obviously a heartfelt book but I found it so sad and self pitying it was hard to read. I am so glad Melanie has had her diagnosis and really hope this will help her find a happier future.
She is a beautiful, clever, ambitious woman and to read how she has succumbed to external pressures is really sad.
She is a beautiful, clever, ambitious woman and to read how she has succumbed to external pressures is really sad.
October 7, 2023
This was my first audio book I have listened to, and I thought the narration was spot on. As an autistic woman late diagnosed at the age of 30, I found it very relatable. I also found comfort in listening to Melanie tell her story and how raw and honest it was.
I deffo recommend it, especially if you are an autistic woman who is late diagnosed.
I deffo recommend it, especially if you are an autistic woman who is late diagnosed.
October 12, 2023
An interesting account of her life so far, quite a rollercoaster romantically and career wise. What resonates with me with where she is now in her journey, that even in your 50’s you are still learning who you are and where you fit into life, being single but actually doing ok. Just being in your life rather than wanting from life.
August 13, 2025
There were two errors this book contained- 1: it should have been lung and colon cancers and not lung cancer and colon cancer. 2: Enoch Powell’s comments in rivers of blood, did not explicitly refer to non black people and it’s an interpretation that it refers to all immigrants and contrary to public brainwashing it is not racist, just a statement of facts
May 3, 2023
Disappointed! The title does not reflect the content.
July 21, 2023
This is Melanie unpicking and analysing bits of her life. It is an autobiography, so is subjective, raw, and biased. Hard to relate in places. Would have liked more on autism.
October 10, 2023
From the title I was expecting it to be more about getting an autism diagnosis later in life and so had set my expectations on this.
November 8, 2023
3.75 stars
November 19, 2023
I enjoyed this read and raced through it but felt Mel came across as another of life’s victims. Some really interesting parts tho
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