My Parent the Peacock: Discovery and Recovery from Narcissistic Parenting

by Kathleen Saxton

The scars inflicted on childhood by a parent with narcissistic tendencies are lasting - but they don't have to define your future. My Parent the Peacock is a compassionate, insightful and clear-eyed guide to recovery that validates your lived experience while offering practical steps towards healing and freedom.

Demythologising some of the ideas around narcissistic behaviours, acclaimed therapist Kathleen Saxton starts by explaining what narcissism is, and isn't, and why it seems to be on the increase. She offers you support to understand how having a narcissistic parent can impact your early development, and how family constellations are shaped in such households (were you the Golden Child, or the Scapegoated Child?).  Pulling everything together into practical and healing strategies for moving forward, the book also validation and self-care setting boundaries and expectations Listening to your own voice Breaking the generational patterns
You can escape generational trauma and find freedom; take the first steps today for a healthier, happier future.

Genres: Self Help, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Psychology

288 pages, Paperback

Published September 23, 2025

Reviews

[readkrautread · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have had a terrible, awful, poisonous relationship with my mother for my entire life. This book has helped me to understand what the hell was going on. I am so very grateful that this book has been written.

[Amber Graver · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely amazing book. As the partner of someone that grew up with a toxic narcissistic mother, and who has had to have trauma therapy and ultimately cut ties altogether- this was a really helpful book to read in better understanding some of the emotions that have come with this along the way. He read parts of the book that felt most relatable but still wasn’t ready to read it all, so asked me to read it instead, which I thoroughly recommend others doing if they have a loved one that has genuinely struggled and suffered NPD abuse.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing to read how behaviours you’ve grown up with are not normal and to be able to relate to the damaging impact they have. I have never felt more validated and empowered by a self-help book, thank you Kathleen Saxton!

[Aurora Lion Richard · Rating 2 out of 5]

Basic psychology 101 in the first third. Second third is one long case study. Last third is more theory in the wrong order. Why not put the theory before the case study? And finally some very general tips like "take care of yourself". Feels very much written by AI and some paragraphs were even printed double. Not even proof-read.

[Joanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has shocked me to the core. I thought my dad was probably a narcissist on some level, but this book could have been written about my life! My Grandmothers involvement, everything about my relationship with my father and my mother. The feelings that other people had it worst…was it so bad. The erosion of self confidence, constant self doubt and over thinking every decision. Comments like “after all I’ve done for you” it all happened just as the case studies in the book. I thank the author for writing this. To help people see they are not mad or bad. That something more was going on and that there is a path to healing.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book provides a good overview of the narcissistic world. Saxton starts with important terminology and research. I was particularly interested in the distinction between grandiose and covert narcissism. It was enlightening to read about the cycle of idealization, devaluation and discard, similarly the strategy of deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. These all made sense. I loved the poem by Mary Oliver, ‘The Journey’ and the real life examples helped clarify and consolidate my understanding. It was one of the final chapters that I found most useful, ‘The demise and death of a narcissistic parent’. I also loved the idea of ‘walking the cornfield’ to rewire your brain. I did find the actual writing very repetitive. I understand this may be the nature of a self-help book (not my usual genre), but it was frustrating at times. Saxton is also very influenced by Freud and his theories. Again, this was at times off-putting. In saying that, to anyone who has struggled with or is still struggling with a narcissistic parent(s) this is a very good, easily accessible reference which can help support you in your journey through recovery.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Neutral language for very complex and deep topics - rooted in acknowledgment that this work should be done with a professional.

This book offers a lot of material to bring to your own mental health professional.

“Be kind to yourself” is not a platitude. It is a reminder for those that this book was written for.

Thank you for writing this book.

[Gisela Olsson · Rating 3 out of 5]

so much information, i think this might be better to ready then listen Information overwhelm was certainly a thing here . The information was well researched, great examples and it was enlighten. Simply have to integrate it al let it sink in now

[Lesley · Rating 5 out of 5]

For personal reasons this book was recommended to me and it has b by been remarkably useful and has enabled me reach greater clarity regarding my relationship with my Mother. I can highly recommend it .

[Debra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent and helpful!

[Jemima Alberts · Rating 2 out of 5]

PACKED with knowledge from cover to cover. An intense book which I very much enjoyed but I would struggle to read over and over. The language got a little repetitive at times so there were moments I lost engagement. Incredibly interesting & I could absolutely self reflect throughout seeing traits in myself, certain friends & family members. All parents & children would benefit from reading this book, great education!