Ask a Matchmaker: Matchmaker Maria's No-Nonsense Guide to Finding Love

by Author Maria Avgitidis

INSTANT NATIONAL BESTSELLER

From renowned, fourth-generation matchmaker, Maria Avgitidis, comes a fresh, modern dating book that meets anyone navigating the world of dating and relationships where they're at, helping them to attract and grow the partnership of their dreams.

In today's world, dating can feel like a never-ending cycle of swipes and small talk, where real connections are hard to come by. But the dream of meeting “The One” isn’t out of reach. Blending personal stories and professional insights, Maria Avgitidis, or Matchmaker Maria, offers the kind of straight-talking, no-nonsense advice that only a true friend can give, guiding you to understand your dating options in a whole new way. By covering everything from personality typing systems to compatibility to Maria’s own developed rules and theories, Ask a Matchmaker equips you to diagnose your own relationship dilemmas and address them with confidence.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Relationships, Humor

329 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 20, 2025

Reviews

[Tessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

TL/DR: “After that relationship, I decided I would never date someone who didn’t think the sun shines out of my butt.”

This is exactly what I wanted from Matchmaker Maria, who I’ve followed on insta for a while- I live for her AMA Wednesdays.

Thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Essentials for the review copy!

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm happily married, but I spent many years single AND I was obsessed with the reality TV show Matchmaker Millionaire back in the day. So although I didn't need this book, I still wanted to check it out.

Maria Avigtidis gives good advice - it really is a realistic, no-nonsense guide to dating. None of it is new information - a lot of it is similar to The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love, which I read earlier this year - unsurprising because there really is no secret to dating. Sometimes you just need the right person to tell you the truth.

I WAS hoping for more matchmaking stories, and more anecdotes about her own clients. That was sadly minimal.

[Megan Guillermo-Broady · Rating 4 out of 5]

I could have used this book 5 years ago

[Jordyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of this was obvious advice, but a lot of it made me think a lot—plus some of us need the obvious advice, ok?! And anyway I just love Matchmaker Maria

[Sarah Alvarez · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Matchmaker Maria and have followed her on Instagram for years. As someone who is happily coupled and getting married next year - it was still a delight to get to hear her journey to becoming a matchmaker and some of her tips would generally be good to apply to life (and maybe even things like jobs?).

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put this book down! I got both the paperback as well as listened to the audiobook. Maria is a fantastic narrator and it felt like I was listening to a friend give amazing dating and relationship advice as well as share personal and touching stories about herself and her family. This book is equally applicable to both people who are single and those in a relationship. Even if you are an audiobook reader I do recommend the physical book as there is a whole section of helping you figure out what you are looking for in the partner that is perfect for you and space to take pen to paper figure out what qualities and values are most important to you. This book leaves you with practical actionable steps to take charge of your dating life, make it fun and fills you with hope!

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been following Matchmaker Maria since 2021 and have attended one of her intensives, so I expected to like this book. The writing surpassed my expectations. I listened to the audio version and also read the paper copy. Hearing it in Maria’s voice (sped up to 1.5) was delightful. And I underlined and wrote notes in my hard copy…

I was pleasantly surprised by the mix of matchmaker history, anecdotes, recommendations, and her fantastic doses of reality. The book is a perfect accompaniment to all the work Maria shares. I expected to laugh… which I did. I did not expect to cry… which I also did. Maria belongs on the Time list of most influential people… she’s empowering women to recognize their personal value and seek relationships with partners who are worthy.

[Michaela · Rating 5 out of 5]

--- Full disclosure: I received this book for free from Goodreads. ---

Short version: I recommend this for those in or out of relationships, looking or not looking for one.

More detailed version: This is not the kind of thing I usually gravitate toward, but I'm glad I gave this a chance. It delivered very sound information in a supportive manner. I fancy myself a somewhat well-read individual. I also am one who has spent a lot of time in conscious self-reflection, and in both observing and contemplating the behaviors of others, as well how we, as a modern species, interact with one another. I say this only to denote that the contents of this book were very much still of value to someone who is no stranger to this (generalized) topic. Upon reading, I was reminded of things I'd once known and subsequently forgotten. I also found myself fascinated by a quite poignant summation of how the current loneliness crisis came to be. More or less it could be considered to be the long-term fallout of how society reorganized & refocused itself following WW2...a thing which I feel everyone would do well to contemplate.

Overall, I am left with the impression that the author has a good understanding for the reality of human relationships, and how to cut through to the really important stuff that ultimately will lead to whether or not a "match" is truly a Match. There is much food for thought in here, even if you are contemplating lifetime singlehood. Learning more about how humans connect, in any capacity, can only serve to add enrichment to one's interactions and efforts to communicate with others.

[Gina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been following Matchmaker Maria since 2020 after randomly coming across her content on social media. At the time, I was in a 3 year relationship I thought was “my forever”; however, something had me paying attention to this matchmaker’s advice on dating. And to this day, I am convinced her content is what had me leaving that break up more confident than ever and viewing dating in a totally different light.

Fast forward to today, I’m 4 months into my marriage (we’ve been together a little over 4 years now) and last year, while engaged, when I saw she was publishing a book, I knew I was going to immediately get on that pre-order list.

Whether single, dating, married, or divorced, I think “Ask a Matchmaker” should be read by everyone. After all, even if you’re partnered up, we all have a few friends/family members who are single or in questionable relationships. Maria offers super solid, practicable advice. If you follow her on social media, you’ve probably heard most of it. But it’s fun to get a little history on how the landscape of dating has evolved over time and get everything laid out in a more digestible way. And she even shares her own dating experiences to relate back to the reader that albeit she’s a matchmaker, she’s made the same mistakes all of us have made (staying in relationships that we have no business being in, thinking we can change someone or be the reason they reach their potential, etc.) There are also prompts and actions she encourages her single readers to take that can ultimately lead them to their forever person.

I could keep going with my praise - I’ll just leave my review as this - highly recommend for you or anyone who is tired of living out the same dating experiences/failures over and over again. Be open minded to her advice and you just might meet your forever person sooner than you think.

[FictionallyCandi.D.C · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Refreshingly Honest Guide to Finding Love

Rating: 5/5 stars ( GOODREADS GIVEAWAY ) Thank you again, Maria!!!

I just finished reading "Ask a Matchmaker" by Maria Avgitidis, and what an experience. As someone who's been around the dating block a few times, I was skeptical about reading another dating book. But Maria's unique blend of personal anecdotes, professional expertise, and no-nonsense advice completely won me over.

Maria's writing style is warm, witty, and engaging - it feels like you're having a conversation with a wise, insightful friend who's been in your shoes. She tackles tough topics like compatibility, personality typing, and relationship dilemmas with clarity and compassion, offering practical tips and strategies that you can actually apply to your own life.

What I loved most about this book is its emphasis on empowerment and self-awareness. Maria doesn't promise any magic formulas or quick fixes; instead, she encourages you to take ownership of your dating life, to understand your own strengths and weaknesses, and to approach relationships with intention and clarity.

Overall, I highly recommend "Ask a Matchmaker" to anyone who's looking for a fresh, honest, and inspiring guide to finding love. Maria Avgitidis is the real deal - and her book is a must-read for anyone who's ready to take their dating life to the next level.

[Kaelynn · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was more of an entry-level book into dating and relationships. It scratches the surface of topics presented by other experts and makes for easy reading, like you’re getting advice from an older sister, but it didn’t teach me anything I didn’t know already. As someone who is 37 years old and finding herself single again, I’ve encountered and reflected on many of the topics through my years of searching for my person; I’m familiar with Logan Ury who offered concrete data points and said fuck the spark years before this book, and am familiar with Attachment Theory. I’m happy Maria discusses this (because OOF, iykyk) but felt like Maria just references a lot of other things out there without always giving full credit to those ideas. She has fun ideas (like green theory and 12 date rule), but I’ve followed Matchmaker Maria off-and-on over the years so most of the topics in the book I’ve heard her talk about already, so perhaps it just didn’t scratch a new itch I was expecting it to. I also love how much she loves George and her Greek culture is a huge part of her identity, but lordy even as a very, very casual follower of hers I have heard all of these stories already and at a certain point, I just don’t care to hear them all again. If you’re new to Maria’s work and you think your dating approach needs a refresh, you’ll like this book. If you have been exploring dating for a few years already and have been doing self-reflection and research, you can skip this book.

[Stacey (Bookalorian) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just finished Ask a Matchmaker - Matchmaker Maria’s no-nonsense guide to finding love by Maria Avgitidis and here are my thoughts.

Dating today is a nightmare… The apps… UGH! The emotionally unavailable men… DOUBLE UGHHHH!!! People throw people away because they don’t like how they hold a spoon.

This book will help you! Maria gives it to you straight! It’s like getting advice from your bestie! She covers personality typing for compatibility! It’s done really well. I am married so I didn’t need this book but I really felt like I got a lot from it anyway.

The writing is great! She sets it all up as quick strategies and it's all easy to implement. I liked the part about the spark and how you should still go on the second date. It really made sense to me.

It’s easy to follow and can be used as a reference guide too!

If you are single and you are hopeless (Like me) at the dating game, this book is a real asset to finding the right match… Not just any match.. The right one for you!

Brilliant! 4 stars

Thank you to @mariaavgitidis for my gifted PR box and @stmartinspress

[Hanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Ask a Matchmaker”, by social media personality and matchmaker Maria Avgitidis, aka Matchmaker Maria, is a dating how-to guide. In her debut book, Maria gives advice on everything from manifesting love to who should ask out who on a second date (in heterosexual relationships, the man has to ask the woman on the second date) to when to introduce your partner to your parents.

If you are anxious about dating and don’t follow Maria on social media, this book will be a game changer for you. She really demystifies modern dating and provides practical advice while also weaving in colorful stories about her personal life and past matchmaking clients.

For those who already follow Maria closely on Instagram and scroll through her weekly Ask a Matchmaker Q&As, or for those who have read about relationship concepts like attachment styles, some of this may be a little less fresh and groundbreaking for you. But you’ll still learn something new and will enjoy gearing more about Maria’s own relationship history.

PS: Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Essentials for providing me with an Advanced Reading Copy in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own!

[Sally · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is beautifully written and overflowing with historical anecdotes and sociological perspectives. Reading it, I felt like I was delving into a socio-cultural study, rather than a dating handbook. It is an easy read and captivating to say the least, while delivering expert practical dating advice. The only reason I give it 4 stars is due to the formatting. When I read a book that cites outside sources, I want to understand more of the context behind these sources, for the writer to unpack the connection a bit more. The book is full of heart and cultural insight, though having more background behind the citations could help to make the book more robust. The book would feel more complete if outside sources were interwoven into the text (ie, via footnotes) rather than purely a list of citations.

[Lauren Currie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book—it was quick, engaging, and I found myself listening to it any chance I got. Maria is a fantastic storyteller and narrator; it truly felt like I was listening to a close friend (which, in real life, I am!).

What I appreciated most was how much I learned about Maria—how she became a matchmaker, her personal journey through love and heartbreak, and the practical dos and don’ts of dating and relationships. The book is incredibly relatable and useful, whether you’re single and looking or already in a relationship like me.

Even if you’re mostly an audiobook person, I highly recommend getting the physical copy too. (I have both!) There’s a section designed to help you reflect on who you’re looking for in a partner, complete with space to write out your values and must-haves. It’s thoughtful, interactive, and so helpful.

More than anything, this book leaves you with hope and clear, actionable steps to take charge of your love life. No matter where you are in your journey—married, dating, or just starting to think about it—this book has something for you.

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dating hasn’t been an easy or fun experience for me, so this book caught my eye. I felt I needed something to shake me out of my funk. The authors words were hopeful and I definitely found the advice to be helpful. At times I felt like my insecurities were being prodded at leading me to feel overwhelmed by all the information and detail she provided. But that’s a me issue. And something I need to sit with. I enjoyed the stories that the author blended into the practical advice. I appreciated the positive language and the practical and concrete advice. I also found the exercises included in this book to be illuminating and useful. The writing came across as friendly and not overly preachy or do as I say because I know better. I would recommend this to fellow single people trying to find their person!

[Living My Best Book Life · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Don't be afraid to brag. There's a reason you're looking for someone amazing---because you are, too."

I didn't think I would love this book as much as I did! Maria Avgitidis is the matchmaker you've been looking for, whether you're single, seeking love, or already in a relationship. She doesn't give you a miracle formula for finding your person; she gives relatable, honest tools to help you on your journey of love. What's great about this book is that it makes you think and reflect. You understand yourself well enough to know what you want in a partner, allowing you to be straightforward and recognize a red flag a mile away.

If you enjoyed the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, put yourself in Toula's shoes, and Maria is her family, always at the ready to give honest advice!

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I flew through this audiobook. I already knew a lot of mostly everything Maria talked about in this book since I follow her on Instagram and listen to her podcast. I guess I was hoping for a little more in-depth explanations about some topics, but we do get to learn more about her own story, which was pretty interesting. I would have liked to hear more about success stories of people who followed her advice (more detailed stories, not just a number like 2,000 engagements, etc). I did like how she talked about what a loving relationship should feel like. I wouldn't have believed a relationship like that was truly possible until finding myself in one of my own! Overall, highly recommend this book, especially to those people who don't already religiously follow Maria.

[PlotTrysts · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this audiobook and I figured why not listen to some matchmaking stories? But really, this is a dating advice book (yes, it is in the title; no, I didn't read it; yes, it's my fault!). I've been happily married for so long that I've never used a dating app, so I did enjoy listening to the advice Maria has for navigating today's brave new dating world.

It's probably pretty good advice for finding a longterm relationship, but I was a little disappointed not to get juicy matchmaking stories. Honestly, the most interesting thing for me was learning that the behind-the-scenes of matchmaking is mostly events planning.

This objective review is based on a complimentary copy of the audiobook.

[Michelle Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty good advice. However, I feel it is aimed at a younger audience than myself. Some of the advice is universal, but I would love a follow up for those of us in our 50’s, finding ourselves starting over. Things are different now. Not necessarily looking for marriage but still a committed relationship. Most of the good people my age are taken.

I listened to chapter 13, 3 times because for some reason, contempt was an epiphany for me. 10000% true. So much of what she says about the relationship killers I wish my younger self could have seen. I wish I had the $30K to hire her to help me. Until then, I’m sitting in my house waiting for Mr Right to randomly show up. Or to win the lottery. Whichever comes first.

[Hannah S · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started this book after watching the materialists and getting into a matchmaking obsession. Maria keeps it real and I thought she would have some fun stories so I picked this up. Overall good, but I’m just not a huge self help book person. I do feel though that I have a solid mentality on dating and relationships and I thought this book had good advice and still made me think some things through. Would definitely recommend to anyone in a dating rut or tired of modern dating. That being said, it felt like more of an introduction to the topic, not a deep dive on anything, and I feel like I’ve heard a lot of the advice/science before. I was wishing there were more fun matchmaking stories but I think this book was more focused on self exploration which is also valid

[Connie Oakes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book! I have been following MMM and her advice for years on IG and have been doing online dating before apps existed. This book gave me a refreshed look at my approach to dating! There were so many tips to help me tweak not only my profile on the apps but also my mindset in dating. Loved the real life examples of both the successes and failures in the dating landscape to make this relatable to anyone out there trying to navigate the modern dating world. I feel renewed with hope and determination to keep searching with these new tools to help me find my person. My manifest I created with the guidance of this book encourages me to keep looking. He’s out there!

[FS Meurinne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Maria Avgitidis herself narrates this audiobook. Maria’s no-nonsense, straight-talking style makes the book engaging and full of practical advice that makes it feel like conversing with a wise friend. I loved how she blends personal stories with professional insights, making everything relatable and easy to apply to my own life. The mix of history, psychology, and real-world examples deepened my understanding of modern relationships. Whether single or in a relationship, this book contains actionable steps to help you find love and build stronger connections. I highly recommend this audiobook. Maria’s voice makes the experience even more personal and impactful.

[Kasia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had high expectations for this book and unfortunately, I am disappointed. If you follow the author on Instagram, you will not find anything new in this book. The advice provided only scratches the surface and this felt more like an introduction to the topic and not a deep dive as I expected. I was looking forward to reading about her matchmaking stories but they all seemed the same, cookie cutter, dry and repetitive. Overall, still good book but more suitable for someone who doesn’t know much dating or hasn’t read much on this topic.

[Mikaela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to Goodreads Giveaways for giving me an ARC of this book!

I really enjoyed how this was all written out and how throughout the book there really wasn't the extreme pressure and the insulting jabbing when one wasn't successful. I loved the friendly conversationalist way that everything was portrayed almost as if you were there in a meeting with the author. I would highly recommend this to anyone trying really hard to get into a loving long-term relationship!

[Afton · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a divorcee, I wish I had Maria's advice when I started to date. It would have saved me a lot of grief! I found myself nodding along, highlighting pages, and texting quotes to friends. Maria’s voice is exactly what the dating world needs—refreshingly honest, deeply wise, and funny. If you're serious about finding your person and ready to stop wasting time, buy this book. Then read it again. Then give it to your best friend.

[Hillary Poole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Essentially a more detailed version of the advice she gives in her podcast. I did enjoy her personal stories and I think generally her advice is spot on. There were a few too many sweeping statements/cliches like “everyone deserves to be happy” and “there’s someone for everyone”, and the advice is pretty tailored to the ideal young single person without previous marriage(s) or kid(s). Overall I enjoyed this though.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve followed Matchmaker Maria on Instagram for years — though I was in a long term relationship, she had great advice and fun “hot takes” on relationships. This book is no different. Now that I’m single, I bought the book when it came out and got about halfway through it before I knew I needed the audiobook. It feels like chatting with her in real life, and gives some great advice. Highly recommend!

[JIll Schieber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! It's packed with so much relateable an useful advice. Matchmaker Maria shares her many years of wisdom, knowledge and useful advice. She blends her many years as a matchmaker with her personal experience finding her husband. This is perfect for anyone who wants to find a life partner. It teaches helpful and healthy techniques to allow the reader to learn about themselves to use towards understanding who and what they want in a relationship. This book is a gem!

[Emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars because I didn’t quite feel I was learning something new from an expert. Some of the advice felt obvious (the dating apps can work, join clubs to meet people in person, be open to people to who don’t check all of your boxes) and some outdated (don’t move in with your partner before marriage, 12 date rule). It’s always good to have reinforcement and I appreciated the interactive parts.