3000 Orgasms: How I Went from a Sexless Marriage to a Multi-Orgasmic Wonderland

by Rebecca Ferguson

What would happen if a woman stopped waiting for intimacy to “come back” — and decided to design it instead?

After two sexless years at the end of her marriage, Rebecca Ferguson made a radical decision. She stopped outsourcing her pleasure. She stopped shrinking her desires. And she began a year-long experiment in sexual self-reclamation that would change her body, her confidence, and her life forever.

3000 Orgasms is the bold, unfiltered true story of what happened next. It became an Amazon category bestseller at launch, outselling well-known sexuality authors such as Esther Perel and Emily Nagoski. Rebecca's Substack has become the go-to guide for people seeking an expansive vision for their sex lives.

Part memoir, part sexual empowerment guide, and part data-driven exploration of female pleasure, this book documents Rebecca’s intentional journey back to desire. By tracking her intimate experiences, tuning into her body, and prioritising pleasure as a non-negotiable form of self-care, she achieved more than a headline-grabbing number. She reclaimed agency, confidence, and emotional on her own terms.

This is not erotica. Nor is it shallow “sex tips” either.

In the tradition of Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel, and Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston, 3000 Orgasms blends lived experience with psychology, embodiment, communication skills, and reflective exercises, written by a woman who has coached hundreds of others through desire, disconnection, and rediscovery.

Rebecca writes candidly

Healing after a passionless marriage

Reconnecting with desire after divorce or long-term emotional neglect

Navigating sex, confidence, and pleasure through peri-menopause and post-menopause

Letting go of shame, obligation, and performative intimacy

Learning to communicate fantasies, boundaries, and needs with clarity

Using mindfulness and intention to deepen arousal and emotional connection

Now post-menopausal, Rebecca’s story powerfully challenges the myth that passion has an expiry date. Her experience proves that pleasure is not something women “lose”: it’s something many were never taught to prioritise.

Who This Book Is ForWomen rebuilding their sexual identity after divorce or long relationships

Women navigating menopause, libido changes, or desire mismatch

Anyone healing from a sexless or emotionally disconnected partnership

Couples seeking to rekindle intimacy with honesty and confidence

Readers of women’s self-help, sexual wellness, and human sexuality

What You’ll LearnCreate an Intimacy Vision
Clarify what fulfilling intimacy actually looks like for you, not what you were conditioned to accept.

Reclaim Pleasure as Self-Care
Understand pleasure as essential to resilience, mental health, and emotional wellbeing.

Practice Mindful Intimacy
Learn how presence, nervous-system regulation, and embodiment transform arousal.

194 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 31, 2025

About the author

Rebecca Ferguson is a relationship coach and author who has dedicated her career to helping individuals navigate the complex world of love, sex and relationships. After going through a challenging divorce in her late 30s, Rebecca embarked on a transformative journey of self-discovery, which led her to redefine what love and sexual fulfilment mean. Four years after her divorce, she found love again, but this time with a deeper understanding of herself and what she truly needed in a relationship.
In the forthcoming "3000 Orgasms", Rebecca Ferguson, a self-described data nerd, takes you on an extraordinary adventure from the confines of a sexless marriage to the liberating joy of becoming a multi-orgasmic woman. In this inspiring memoir, Rebecca shares her early struggles with sexuality, the challenges of two passion-less years at the end of her marriage, and her courageous journey into singledom, where she finally embraced her desires and began to thrive. With honesty and wit, she recounts how she tracked her sexual experiences using an app, leading to a staggering tally of 3000 orgasms in just one year.
Now post-menopausal having recovered from uterine cancer, Rebecca continues to explore the depths of her sexuality. In her current release, "The Soulmate Equation: The Ultimate Formula for Finding, Dating and Keeping a Quality Man", Rebecca draws on both her personal experiences and her professional expertise to guide readers in their search for meaningful love. Her approach is warm, relatable, and deeply compassionate, making her a trusted guide for anyone seeking to understand themselves and their relationships better.
Rebecca enjoys spending time with her children, exploring Melbourne's vibrant cultural scene, and connecting with her community. She is passionate about helping others find joy and fulfillment in their relationships, and she remains committed to supporting her clients and readers on their journey to love and sexual fulfilment.

Reviews

[The Bourbon-Sipping Bibliophile · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rebecca Ferguson's "3000 Orgasms" is a courageous and transformative memoir that boldly chronicles one woman's journey from a sexless marriage to a vibrant and empowered exploration of her own sexuality, offering readers a deeply personal yet universally resonant story of self-discovery, healing, and reclaiming pleasure. While the title is undeniably attention-grabbing, this book transcends shock value, delving into a candid and insightful exploration of female intimacy, communication, and the vital importance of prioritizing personal pleasure as an act of self-care and empowerment.

After two years of a sexless marriage, Rebecca Ferguson, a sex and relationship coach, decided to take radical action to rediscover her own sexuality and reclaim intimacy on her own terms. "3000 Orgasms" is the intimate and data-driven account of her year-long experiment in self-exploration, during which she meticulously tracked her sexual experiences and embarked on a journey to understand her desires, needs, and the profound connection between pleasure and well-being. This memoir details not just the pursuit of orgasms, but the emotional and psychological landscape of navigating a passionless relationship, healing from heartbreak, and ultimately, rewriting her narrative around intimacy and joy, leading to a fulfilling sexual life and partnership in her post-menopausal years.

"3000 Orgasms" is a brave, insightful, and ultimately inspiring memoir that transcends its attention-grabbing title to offer a valuable exploration of female sexuality, empowerment, and the pursuit of pleasure as a vital aspect of self-care and well-being. Rebecca Ferguson's vulnerability, coupled with her analytical approach, makes for a compelling and transformative read that challenges societal norms and encourages women to take ownership of their intimate lives and rewrite their own stories of pleasure and connection.

Highly recommended for women seeking to reconnect with their desires, heal from passionless relationships, or explore their sexuality after life transitions. It is also valuable for couples seeking to rekindle intimacy and for anyone interested in a candid and empowering perspective on female pleasure and sexual self-discovery. Readers who appreciate memoirs that blend personal vulnerability with actionable self-help insights will find "3000 Orgasms" particularly rewarding.

A courageous, empowering, and surprisingly insightful memoir that earns a solid 4 out of 5 stars for its vulnerability, transformative message, and valuable guidance on reclaiming pleasure and rewriting the narrative around female intimacy.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Ernie Collette · Rating 5 out of 5]

While the title is intentionally eye-catching, don’t let the number fool or, depending on the reader, intimidate you into thinking that this book is only about getting to the climax (of the story, of course).

The author takes the reader on a journey of discovery, through deeply personal and, at times, both incredibly heartbreaking and sobering moments to inform and declare that with the right mindset, the right partner (or partners), and the proper self-understanding and communication, it is never too late in life to find pleasure and reclaim your birthright to enjoy pleasure on your own terms.

It a touching book with exercises that allow a reader to map their own pleasure journey and figure out if more is desired and how to bridge gaps that keep those desires from transpiring. While we don’t all have to follow the author in her footsteps, her courage to showcase her own journey and allow us to bear witness to moments of pain and vulnerability should not only be applauded, but should also give us the opportunity to hope that, wherever we are in our own journeys, with self-honesty and commitment to ourselves and to our needs, wants, and desires, we can experience better moments to come.

[Subramanyam Gunda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rebecca Ferguson’s 3000 Orgasms is a transformative and courageous memoir that blends personal storytelling, science, and relationship insights into an unflinchingly honest narrative. Ferguson invites readers into her deeply personal journey—one that moves from a sexless marriage to the liberation of discovering her own pleasure and confidence.

What sets this book apart is its balance of vulnerability, humor, and evidence-based insights. The author meticulously tracks her experiences, uncovering patterns in her pleasure and using mindfulness to deepen intimacy. The combination of self-discovery, psychology, and relationship advice makes this a must-read for anyone seeking to understand their own sexuality on a deeper level.

Notable Highlights:
Page 67: Ferguson discusses "The Summer of Rebecca," where she actively explored her sexual identity and broke free from past limitations.

Page 134: The chapter on Mindfulness and Pleasure provides practical tips on staying present during intimacy, enhancing both emotional and physical connection.

Page 189: The section Sustaining Sexual Excitement is particularly useful for long-term couples wanting to keep passion alive.

[Erika · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the memoir parts ok, but I skimmed over the self-help, coaching parts. I found the coaching to be the same things I've heard on podcasts or read in magazines, the vague phrases about being worth pleasure, loving yourself, etc. If this is the first time you've come across this talk, it might be enlightening, but it didn't tell me anything new. The data keeping was funny and a bit bewildering; how do you count orgasms during sex?

[Madeline Edel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Informative read.

This book was such a fresh and interesting read.
The author was fearless in making this book about her own sexual experiences that led to her helping others with theirs. A lot of insightful and useful settings of information. I definitely recommend reading this fun and interesting book.