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Jeddah Bride
To what lengths would you go to save your children? Would you sacrifice your safety? Your sanity? Your life?
Patricia fell madly in love with Rahman Abbar, scion of a wealthy Saudi Arabian family, and when he suggested they marry, it was the happiest day of her life. A smart, free-spirited girl who had attended Wellesley College, Patricia was not prepared for life as a Saudi woman-a life spent looking through curtains and veils at the world outside, a life that of necessity was curtailed and protected from the toxic masculinity of the culture, a life that, for an American girl used to sneaking out and hitchhiking, was dangerous and frightening and alien.
She was not prepared to give up all her freedom to drive herself, to go where she wanted when she wanted, to read books and listen to music she wanted, even to give up making a career for herself. But shouldn't love be enough to overcome everything?
After years in Jeddah, Patricia and Rahman moved to America, where Patricia gave birth to two children and started her own successful career. She thought that surely their family was complete, that now they would stay in America to raise their children in freedom and security.
Then Rahman starts talking about leaving America and moving back into the jet-set lifestyle-regardless of Patricia's needs and wishes. After previous disappointments, Patricia is ready to divorce him and strike out on her own.
She is not ready for her children to be kidnapped.
Patricia fell madly in love with Rahman Abbar, scion of a wealthy Saudi Arabian family, and when he suggested they marry, it was the happiest day of her life. A smart, free-spirited girl who had attended Wellesley College, Patricia was not prepared for life as a Saudi woman-a life spent looking through curtains and veils at the world outside, a life that of necessity was curtailed and protected from the toxic masculinity of the culture, a life that, for an American girl used to sneaking out and hitchhiking, was dangerous and frightening and alien.
She was not prepared to give up all her freedom to drive herself, to go where she wanted when she wanted, to read books and listen to music she wanted, even to give up making a career for herself. But shouldn't love be enough to overcome everything?
After years in Jeddah, Patricia and Rahman moved to America, where Patricia gave birth to two children and started her own successful career. She thought that surely their family was complete, that now they would stay in America to raise their children in freedom and security.
Then Rahman starts talking about leaving America and moving back into the jet-set lifestyle-regardless of Patricia's needs and wishes. After previous disappointments, Patricia is ready to divorce him and strike out on her own.
She is not ready for her children to be kidnapped.
- GenresMemoirNonfiction
270 pages, Hardcover
Published August 16, 2024
36 people are currently reading
294 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
February 25, 2025
Patricia Bonis has provided us with her memoir of her life as the wife of a Saudi Arabian gentlemen, along with all flash, pitfalls and horrors that it entailed for her. Meeting her future husband one night at a party she was instantly taken by his good looks, sporty car and the money he spent. She was young, a teenager, who fell for all the outward flashings of money and excitement. A few years later they were jetsetting and while in Paris he proposed. To be honest I think he was surprised she accepted, and he warned her of the different culture in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Initially the government turned down their marriage request until she converted to Islam, which she did in 1 week and without any advice and guidance from anyone. And therein lies the moral of the story - being young and headstrong is nice, but beware of what you do, And Patricia received that culture shock on Day 1 of her arrival in Jeddah. Within weeks she witnessed a woman being stoned to death in the middle of the public square! Another woman and her kids were electrocuted over an alleged marital indiscretion, another family died in a house fire since there was no fire department in Jeddah, and the list goes on and on. Only after she had children did she wake up and smell the roses and realize her husband was cheating on her, going out to parties on his own, had become a drunkard, etc. And then he kidnapped their two children from the US to Saudi Arabia (ages 4 and 2), and it was not until 14 years later that she was able to finally contact her son while he was in college in the US.
A cautionary tale, and while I feel badly for the author, she never listened when peopled told her to beware! A head shaking book, that is a 3.5 read for me,
A cautionary tale, and while I feel badly for the author, she never listened when peopled told her to beware! A head shaking book, that is a 3.5 read for me,
January 13, 2026
3.5. The ending felt rushed but I was sucked in.
December 30, 2024
Imagine being a young college student and thinking you’ve met the man of your dreams? That is what Patricia thought was happening when she met Rahman.
But her life became less than dreamy when she was thrust in Saudi society where her non-existent rights were masked under a financial privileged life and status.
We follow Patricia’s seemingly jet-set life, but underneath is a life full of uncertainties and deception which eventually leads to divorce and the kidnapping of her 2 children by their father.
I am glad I read this book because I had never had such a close-up look about Saudi society before. That being said, and taking into account that I read an ARC copy of the book, I feel that the book could’ve been edited a bit more, sometimes I felt that I kept reading the same thing over and over and it felt dragged out.
Thank you to the publisher and author for providing a free copy of this book through NetGalley.
But her life became less than dreamy when she was thrust in Saudi society where her non-existent rights were masked under a financial privileged life and status.
We follow Patricia’s seemingly jet-set life, but underneath is a life full of uncertainties and deception which eventually leads to divorce and the kidnapping of her 2 children by their father.
I am glad I read this book because I had never had such a close-up look about Saudi society before. That being said, and taking into account that I read an ARC copy of the book, I feel that the book could’ve been edited a bit more, sometimes I felt that I kept reading the same thing over and over and it felt dragged out.
Thank you to the publisher and author for providing a free copy of this book through NetGalley.
May 11, 2025
Book Review: Jeddah Bride by Patricia Bonis
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)
Overview
Patricia Bonis’s Jeddah Bride is a gripping memoir that chronicles her transformative—and often turbulent—journey as an independent Western woman who marries into a conservative Saudi Arabian family. Blending personal narrative with cultural critique, the book explores themes of identity, love, resilience, and the clash of values between individualism and tradition. Bonis’s candid storytelling offers rare insights into the complexities of cross-cultural marriage, gender dynamics in Saudi society, and the emotional toll of navigating two starkly different worlds.
Strengths
Unflinching Honesty: Bonis’s willingness to expose her vulnerabilities—from the initial allure of a “fairytale romance” to the disillusionment of patriarchal constraints—lends the narrative raw authenticity. Her descriptions of Jeddah’s social fabric, from glittering weddings to rigid gender segregation, are vivid and immersive.
Cultural Bridge-Building: The memoir excels in humanizing Saudi culture without romanticizing or demonizing it. Bonis’s nuanced portrayal of her husband Rahman’s family, their traditions, and the gradual erosion of her own autonomy provides a balanced perspective on intercultural relationships.
Resilience & Redemption: The latter half of the book, detailing Bonis’s relocation to America and her eventual career success, reframes the narrative as one of empowerment. Her ability to rebuild her identity after emotional upheaval resonates as a universal tale of survival.
Limitations
Structural Pacing: The early chapters, while rich in romantic idealism, occasionally linger on repetitive tensions (e.g., marital power struggles), slowing the narrative momentum. A tighter editorial focus could have heightened the emotional impact.
Limited Saudi Perspectives: While Bonis critiques patriarchal structures, the memoir rarely delves into her husband’s or in-laws’ viewpoints in depth, leaving some cultural tensions under-examined.
Thematic Breadth vs. Depth: The book touches on weighty themes (e.g., religious dogma, motherhood, diaspora identity) but sometimes skims surfaces where deeper analysis could have enriched its academic value.
Theoretical Contributions
Jeddah Bride serves as a compelling case study for:
Feminist Geographies: The spatial politics of gender in Saudi Arabia (e.g., restricted mobility, domestic confinement).
Cross-Cultural Psychology: The cognitive dissonance of assimilating into a collectivist society as an individualist.
Narrative Identity Theory: How autobiographical storytelling reconstructs trauma into agency.
Conclusion
Bonis’s memoir is a significant addition to contemporary diaspora literature and gender studies. Though its pacing and occasional thematic shallowness warrant a four-star rating, the book’s emotional honesty and cross-cultural insights make it ideal for book clubs, sociology courses, and readers grappling with identity in an interconnected world.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to NetGalley and Patricia Bonis for providing an advance review copy. This access facilitated a thorough engagement with a memoir that bridges personal catharsis and cultural scholarship.
Final Verdict
Jeddah Bride triumphs as both a cautionary tale and a testament to resilience. Its greatest strength lies in Bonis’s refusal to simplify her story into binaries—revealing instead the messy, luminous humanity at the heart of cultural collision.
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)
Overview
Patricia Bonis’s Jeddah Bride is a gripping memoir that chronicles her transformative—and often turbulent—journey as an independent Western woman who marries into a conservative Saudi Arabian family. Blending personal narrative with cultural critique, the book explores themes of identity, love, resilience, and the clash of values between individualism and tradition. Bonis’s candid storytelling offers rare insights into the complexities of cross-cultural marriage, gender dynamics in Saudi society, and the emotional toll of navigating two starkly different worlds.
Strengths
Unflinching Honesty: Bonis’s willingness to expose her vulnerabilities—from the initial allure of a “fairytale romance” to the disillusionment of patriarchal constraints—lends the narrative raw authenticity. Her descriptions of Jeddah’s social fabric, from glittering weddings to rigid gender segregation, are vivid and immersive.
Cultural Bridge-Building: The memoir excels in humanizing Saudi culture without romanticizing or demonizing it. Bonis’s nuanced portrayal of her husband Rahman’s family, their traditions, and the gradual erosion of her own autonomy provides a balanced perspective on intercultural relationships.
Resilience & Redemption: The latter half of the book, detailing Bonis’s relocation to America and her eventual career success, reframes the narrative as one of empowerment. Her ability to rebuild her identity after emotional upheaval resonates as a universal tale of survival.
Limitations
Structural Pacing: The early chapters, while rich in romantic idealism, occasionally linger on repetitive tensions (e.g., marital power struggles), slowing the narrative momentum. A tighter editorial focus could have heightened the emotional impact.
Limited Saudi Perspectives: While Bonis critiques patriarchal structures, the memoir rarely delves into her husband’s or in-laws’ viewpoints in depth, leaving some cultural tensions under-examined.
Thematic Breadth vs. Depth: The book touches on weighty themes (e.g., religious dogma, motherhood, diaspora identity) but sometimes skims surfaces where deeper analysis could have enriched its academic value.
Theoretical Contributions
Jeddah Bride serves as a compelling case study for:
Feminist Geographies: The spatial politics of gender in Saudi Arabia (e.g., restricted mobility, domestic confinement).
Cross-Cultural Psychology: The cognitive dissonance of assimilating into a collectivist society as an individualist.
Narrative Identity Theory: How autobiographical storytelling reconstructs trauma into agency.
Conclusion
Bonis’s memoir is a significant addition to contemporary diaspora literature and gender studies. Though its pacing and occasional thematic shallowness warrant a four-star rating, the book’s emotional honesty and cross-cultural insights make it ideal for book clubs, sociology courses, and readers grappling with identity in an interconnected world.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to NetGalley and Patricia Bonis for providing an advance review copy. This access facilitated a thorough engagement with a memoir that bridges personal catharsis and cultural scholarship.
Final Verdict
Jeddah Bride triumphs as both a cautionary tale and a testament to resilience. Its greatest strength lies in Bonis’s refusal to simplify her story into binaries—revealing instead the messy, luminous humanity at the heart of cultural collision.
December 13, 2024
Reading the description of this memoir might give the reader the idea it is mostly about the author's divorce and the kidnapping of her children, but those two topics are only covered briefly towards the end of the book. Personally, I was glad about that, because long drawn-out divorce stories and custody battles often make tedious reading. This story was anything but tedious, and provided much insight on how wives and women in general were treated in Saudi Arabia.
In the 1970s, Patricia Bonis was a college student at Wellesley College, basking in the freedom college life provided. She could be described as a bit of a wild girl, who was also a bit wild back in high school, and for sure a party girl. At one college party she met a Saudi named Rahman Abbar who dazzled her with his looks, worldliness, money and desire for fun and excitement. Ms. Bonis came from a wealthy family, but nowhere near as wealthy as the Abbars in Jeddah.
After two years of a whirlwind romance, reality began to set in when Mr. Abbar's family was coming to Boston for his graduation. Surprisingly, the author was soon seen as an acceptable girlfriend by the elder Abbars, and was even seen as an acceptable wife if she became a Muslin. Surprisingly, it was amazingly easy for an Italian Catholic woman from New York to convert, and she would go visit Saudi Arabia.
This is when the story really got interesting, because life in Jeddah was shockingly different for women than life in the United States. She would hear horror stories about what happened to various women, and even became involved in an incident that could have got her jailed and worse. Did this highly educated, free-thinking 22-year-old get out of Saudi Arabia as fast as she could. Physically, yes, but she ended up back there after quickly marrying her beloved in Europe.
Why did she go ahead and marry him, knowing they would soon be returning to Jeddah to live? Ms. Bonis gives all sorts of reasons throughout the story, and some are understandable and believable. Marriage proved to be a rocky ride, though, with her husband becoming a hugely different person after marrying. Two children would eventually be born, and what happened after Patricia Bonnis filed for divorce was devastating for any mother. Yet the story ends on a most positive note.
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from NetGalley and the publisher or author.)
In the 1970s, Patricia Bonis was a college student at Wellesley College, basking in the freedom college life provided. She could be described as a bit of a wild girl, who was also a bit wild back in high school, and for sure a party girl. At one college party she met a Saudi named Rahman Abbar who dazzled her with his looks, worldliness, money and desire for fun and excitement. Ms. Bonis came from a wealthy family, but nowhere near as wealthy as the Abbars in Jeddah.
After two years of a whirlwind romance, reality began to set in when Mr. Abbar's family was coming to Boston for his graduation. Surprisingly, the author was soon seen as an acceptable girlfriend by the elder Abbars, and was even seen as an acceptable wife if she became a Muslin. Surprisingly, it was amazingly easy for an Italian Catholic woman from New York to convert, and she would go visit Saudi Arabia.
This is when the story really got interesting, because life in Jeddah was shockingly different for women than life in the United States. She would hear horror stories about what happened to various women, and even became involved in an incident that could have got her jailed and worse. Did this highly educated, free-thinking 22-year-old get out of Saudi Arabia as fast as she could. Physically, yes, but she ended up back there after quickly marrying her beloved in Europe.
Why did she go ahead and marry him, knowing they would soon be returning to Jeddah to live? Ms. Bonis gives all sorts of reasons throughout the story, and some are understandable and believable. Marriage proved to be a rocky ride, though, with her husband becoming a hugely different person after marrying. Two children would eventually be born, and what happened after Patricia Bonnis filed for divorce was devastating for any mother. Yet the story ends on a most positive note.
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from NetGalley and the publisher or author.)
February 6, 2025
In the mid 1970’s Patricia was about to start college. She was counting the minutes to freedom and independence away from her parent’s Long Island home. Attending Wellesley Patricia jumped right into the Boston disco scene, wearing outrageous outfits, drinking and dancing the night away. One evening she meets Rahman Abbar. He is a few years older and a student at BU. Born into a wealthy Saudi family, Rahman dazzled all the girls with his good looks and endless charm. He was the life of the party and comfortably picked up the check at the end of each night. A whirlwind romance ensues, and the young couple eventually introduce each other to their families. Even though they are quickly forced to overcome rather large obstacles, Patricia refuses to give up. Once she commits to marrying Rahman, there was no turning back. Converting to Muslim and experiencing life in Jeddah was her first introduction to the reality of being Rahman’s wife. Patricia realizes she will never escape suspicion as a foreigner and cannot even leave the home unescorted. All her studying and degrees mean nothing in Saudi. The couple continue to live around the world, no expense too great for their entertainment and comfort. But eventually Rahman becomes increasingly indifferent and with two young children in tow, Patricia finds herself trapped. This memoir may sound like fiction and read like a novel but this is Patricia’s story - and it is both shocking and fascinating.
September 4, 2025
In Jeddah Bride, Patricia Bonis takes us along on the story of her life. During college, she falls passionately in love Rahman. He is good-looking, seemingly interested in all the things she is, and they enjoy living the party life together. He is from Saudi Arabia and is convinced his family will not accept her as his wife. However, upon meeting the family, Patricia is accepted with open arms. However, as their engagement and marriage take place, Patricia begins noticing red flags - self obsession, a need for control. As there marriage continues, these characteristics in her husband seem to take over. Although he still wants to live the wealthy, Western, party life, he no longer wants her to have that same freedom. Patricia is able to present her story in such a way that we feel we are living it with her. Even though she is writing this years later, she is able to express her thoughts and emotions from the time so clearly. I felt Patricia did an excellent job in showing how someone can be swept up into a lifestyle that appears to be all rainbows and sunshine, especially when we are young and inexperienced. It is easy for others to judge, but is too often a situation we could all find ourselves in. Excellent read!
April 21, 2025
It would be easy to be judgemental reading this memoir and think the author could’ve saved herself a lot of grief by seeing through the dashing young Rahman Abbar, scion of a wealthy Saudi Arabian family. But who hasn’t been young, swept up in the moment and believing you’ve found ‘the one’? Ms Bonis marries a Saudi man but then finds out what a restricted life she is expected to lead.
The couple move back to the US and Patricia has two children. After settling and thinking life was good, despite a couple of hiccups, Abbas decides they’re going back to Saudi. There are unsettling happenings, Patricia decides to go for a divorce, wants custody of her children… and then it all goes wrong. The US government are less than helpful and Patricia has a nightmare ahead.
This is a well written memoir. It is so much more than a mother losing her children. It’s an insight into a hideously patriarchal system where women have no rights and can be murdered for standing up for themselves. Any young woman considering marriage into a foreign culture would do well to read it.
I was given a copy of this book by NetGalley
The couple move back to the US and Patricia has two children. After settling and thinking life was good, despite a couple of hiccups, Abbas decides they’re going back to Saudi. There are unsettling happenings, Patricia decides to go for a divorce, wants custody of her children… and then it all goes wrong. The US government are less than helpful and Patricia has a nightmare ahead.
This is a well written memoir. It is so much more than a mother losing her children. It’s an insight into a hideously patriarchal system where women have no rights and can be murdered for standing up for themselves. Any young woman considering marriage into a foreign culture would do well to read it.
I was given a copy of this book by NetGalley
January 2, 2026
I made it about a third of the way through and had to stop. The audiobook narrator was not a good fit for me, which did not help.
The book starts strong and pulls you in with the author’s reunion with her now-adult son. After that, it shifts into her relationship with her ex and then spends chapter after chapter describing his wealth, lavish parties, and luxury lifestyle. The point was made after one chapter. We get it. He was extremely wealthy, and she loved that lifestyle.
It becomes clear that the relationship itself was thin and more like a kiddie crush than love. When she visits him in Saudi Arabia, he largely ignores her, and she is directly confronted with the misogynistic, patriarchal society she would be marrying into. Despite this, she still decides it is a good idea to move forward. It's hard as the reader to understand why she would do this and I wish the author would be self reflective enough to explain their reasoning.
That is where I stopped. I did not need to read any more detailed descriptions of a fancy lifestyle or wealth. The story did not feel reflective or self-aware enough to justify it. Not worth continuing, in my opinion.
The book starts strong and pulls you in with the author’s reunion with her now-adult son. After that, it shifts into her relationship with her ex and then spends chapter after chapter describing his wealth, lavish parties, and luxury lifestyle. The point was made after one chapter. We get it. He was extremely wealthy, and she loved that lifestyle.
It becomes clear that the relationship itself was thin and more like a kiddie crush than love. When she visits him in Saudi Arabia, he largely ignores her, and she is directly confronted with the misogynistic, patriarchal society she would be marrying into. Despite this, she still decides it is a good idea to move forward. It's hard as the reader to understand why she would do this and I wish the author would be self reflective enough to explain their reasoning.
That is where I stopped. I did not need to read any more detailed descriptions of a fancy lifestyle or wealth. The story did not feel reflective or self-aware enough to justify it. Not worth continuing, in my opinion.
January 8, 2025
The description starts with “what lengths would you go to save your children” which very much sets you up to read a book about a mother saving her children. Instead this is a memoir of a woman who led a crazy interesting life and then loses her children at very young ages. I really wasn’t even until the epilogue that we find out she doesn’t even get them back or save them as children. I never like rating a memoir because it’s someone’s story. This was probably 2 1/2 stars because it told us it would be one thing and then it wasn’t. It also ended so abruptly and oddly. The first half was fascinating but the last half was hurried and confusing.
January 13, 2025
Amazing memoir of love, culture, motherhood, and resiliance.
Swept off her feet by a wealthy Saudi Arabian man, Patricia learns over time that marriage to someone from another country with very different cultural norms presents enormous challenges and that money and a jet-setting lifestyle does not guarantee happiness. She recounts the horrifying details of her children's abduction by her former husband and the helplessness she faces as she realizes that there is nothing she can do to get them back.
Compelling, written with candor and grace - you will not be able to put this book down!
Swept off her feet by a wealthy Saudi Arabian man, Patricia learns over time that marriage to someone from another country with very different cultural norms presents enormous challenges and that money and a jet-setting lifestyle does not guarantee happiness. She recounts the horrifying details of her children's abduction by her former husband and the helplessness she faces as she realizes that there is nothing she can do to get them back.
Compelling, written with candor and grace - you will not be able to put this book down!
June 30, 2025
Jeddah Bride is a gripping, heartfelt memoir that follows Patricia Bonis from a free-spirited American life to the confines of being a Saudi wife—and later, a desperate mother fighting to reclaim her children. Bonis writes with raw honesty and vivid detail, offering a rare, courageous look at love, loss, and cultural dissonance. Her story is both personal and universally powerful, shedding light on the resilience of a mother and the strength it takes to find freedom again.
A compelling, emotional read—perfect for fans of real-life stories of strength and survival.
December 23, 2024
Interesting memoir of an American woman who married a Saudi man.
My Review
My Review
January 28, 2025
Amazing story!
The author’s description of life in Saudi Arabia was so vivid, and her ability to look back on such a difficult time without judgment or animosity is unexpected. Highly recommended!
The author’s description of life in Saudi Arabia was so vivid, and her ability to look back on such a difficult time without judgment or animosity is unexpected. Highly recommended!
March 18, 2025
excellent soulful autobiography
Highly recommend Jeddah Bride for its strong story telling and deep intimate reveal of the worst possible betrayal by her husband when he stole their two children
Highly recommend Jeddah Bride for its strong story telling and deep intimate reveal of the worst possible betrayal by her husband when he stole their two children
March 18, 2025
I absolutely loved this book! She did a great job detailing the experiences she lived, and as a mother myself, her story also broke my heart. She spared no details in describing her thoughts and feelings which made this book that much more thoughtful and wonderful.
January 6, 2026
found the stort fascinating but had a hard time understanding Patricia. her life is not one I am interested (jet setting life) so I was dumbfounded she progressed things despite the warning flags. glad it ended well for her!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 25, 2025
Truthful
This book is so revealing of what intercultural marriages can be. She got to see and meet her children, doesn't always happen. Brave woman!
This book is so revealing of what intercultural marriages can be. She got to see and meet her children, doesn't always happen. Brave woman!
February 17, 2025
Enjoyed reading about the Saudi culture. Could feel the author’s feeling through the book
March 7, 2025
Can’t put it down
I couldn’t put the book down. Such a powerful and emotional story. I would highly recommend this book to others
I couldn’t put the book down. Such a powerful and emotional story. I would highly recommend this book to others
May 20, 2025
Seemed repetitive and wordy. Interesting, emotional life. I've read others on this topic as well.
Read
September 21, 2025I do not recommend this book.
January 8, 2026
3.5 fascinating and also scary story. Easy read
January 10, 2026
Hopeful and heartbreaking at the same time. I can’t stop thinking about this book. Patricia has such a captivating story and I was on the edge of my seat throughout the entire book.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews