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Where the Hell is Tesla? #1A

Where the Hell is Tesla? - Part One

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This edition has been discontinued - "The Novel" contains all three parts:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...

CI-FI ODYSSEY. COMEDY. LOVE STORY. AND THAT'S JUST PART ONE. I'll let Chip, the main character tell you more: "I found the journal at work. Well, I don’t know if you’d call it work, but that’s where I found it. It’s the lost journal of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest inventors and visionaries ever. Before he died in 1943, he kept a notebook filled with spectacular claims and outrageous plans. One of these plans was for an “Interdimensional Transfer Apparatus” – that allowed someone (in this case me and my friend Pete) to travel to other versions of the infinite possibilities around us. Crazy, right? But that’s just where the crazy starts." CHIP'S OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction: the events depicted in the collection of emails did not happen. I have never been in contact with a covert government group attempting to suppress knowledge of the lost journal of Nikola Tesla. I have not been threatened with death if I divulge the secrets contained inside. They did not buy me this handsome jacket (oh crap, you’re reading this – trust me, it looks great on me). They did not come to my place, and liquor me up, and offer to publish this book as a sci-fi comedy novel to throw the public off the trail of the real truth. Or did they? I’m kidding. Of course they didn’t. Or did they? God, I can’t keep my big mouth shut.

90 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 12, 2014

2 people are currently reading
408 people want to read

About the author

Rob Dircks

14 books289 followers
Rob Dircks is the #1 Audible bestselling author of You're Going to Mars! , the Where the Hell is Tesla? series, The Wrong Unit , and more (including the anti-self-help book Unleash the Sloth! 75 Ways to Reach Your Maximum Potential By Doing Less ). He's also got a drawerful of screenplays and short stories, some of which appear on his original audio sci-fi short story podcast Listen To The Signal, also narrated by the author.

Rob's a member of SFWA (Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America), and is a big fan of classic science fiction. When not writing, he's helping other authors publish their own work with Goldfinch Publishing, writing and designing for the award-winning ad agency he owns with his brother (appropriately called Dircks Associates), and generally doing what he calls "sampling": video production, audio production, app development, photography, guitar, reading, cooking. (Note the absence of the phrases "going to the gym" and "running iron-man triathalons.") He lives in New York with his wife and two kids. You can get in touch at robdircks.com.

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5 stars
28 (31%)
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40 (45%)
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11 (12%)
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
Profile Image for Joan Roman Pavlick.
51 reviews10 followers
June 24, 2015
So, what if you found a book and had the opportunity to meet one of history's great inventors? Would you take that chance of finding him? Or finding the machine called the interdimensional transfer apparatus (Always written in caps in the book, Chip thinks 'What is that all about' ) mentioned in that journal? Well, that is what the character in Rob Dircks book "Where the Hell is Tesla?" sets out to do.
Chip is a security guard that is bored and really does not want to be standing around or even walking around the area he is keeping safe. Chip ask an Agent at the facility if there is a desk and chair he can have to put in his area. Taking him to a room so large filled with 1000's of desk from a by-gone era. Those huge metal desk one on top of the other. Chip starts looking for that perfect desk with as little beating to it and all. Chip drags this desk back to his area along with a chair. Even though he has nothing to put in it, he begins to open the drawers. When one does not open up he gets frustrated. Well, he is just not going to look for another one. But, he finally gets the drawer open and finds a book. A book, journal by Nikola Tesla.
Reading the journal he becomes intrigued at what he has discovers in it and calls his friend Pete. Talking his friend Pete to go to a hotel where this device is suppose to be. Oh, let's back up a bit, talks his friend Pete into paying for the opportunity to stay a night in the Tesla Room for $725 a night. Really! Well, Pete is the one with a credit card and a real job. So now the real fun begins...
So my take on this book was by far the most amusing, funniest and laugh out loud audio books I have ever listened to. Yes, I have listen to books that I will have a laugh out loud a time or two through out the book. With this book I put in the headphones and went onto cutting my grass. Good thing for the loud noise of the lawnmower since I found myself bursting out with a laugh or OMG this is so good. Robert Dircks couldn't have picked no one better than himself to narrate this book. Though I do have one other narrator/performer that could have done the task as equally well. However, Robert has what I see as his heart into a story that he gave birth to and who better than himself was able to bring the characters to life as he feels each needed to be portrayed. To bring them to the funny gathering of characters. Chip and Pete best friends through thick and thin throughout the book bring to their team a little alien guy they names Bo Bo. The comic relief that they put this poor creature thru and the attachment he has to them bring this story full circle.
My favorite parts where whatever the titles were for each chapter also, became the RE: in the emails he is sending his girlfriend if they do not make it out. Also, the Abbott and Costello routine, WHO! I was so upbeat when I finished this book provided by the author for an honest review. I had to shoot him an email to tell him this was the funniest book I ever listen to!
What I did not mention was that if I could give this book 6 stars I would. Purely on the comic relief through out this entire story. Two thumbs up and whatever Bo Bo would be holding up Mr. Dircks!
Do yourself a favor a short 5+ hour book! One day listen. If you are in the worst mood by the time you finish getting caught up in laughing your way thru this book. You will forget what you were so grumpy about.
This book was as stated provided by the author for an honest review. All comments are solely mine and in no way effect by others. Please leave comments, good or bad. I would love to hear from you all!
Profile Image for Jessica .
282 reviews26 followers
July 22, 2015
"Funny but much foul language!"
Overall 4 Stars
Performance 5 Stars
Story 4 Stars

This book really did make me laugh several times, but I had to take off a full star because of the foul mouth on Chip, the main character.

When Chip, a security guard at an old FBI warehouse finds a lost journal written by the famed inventor Nikola Tesla, he decides to take his best friend, Pete, to try and find the ITA, a device Tesla invented which enables a person to travel to other dimensions in the multiverse.

They find it in a closet in the room of the New York hotel where Tesla died in 1943. When Chip and Pete go through the portal they find themselves in a long hallway with doors spaced every six feet. They decide to explore this hallway only to realize too late that all of the doors look exactly alike and they have no idea which one is the one that leads back to their own universe. Hence begins the search for the way back home and much hilarity ensues.

Honestly, except for the fact that Chip can not speak an entire sentence without cursing, this is a 5 star book! If the profanity doesn't bother you then this book will probably be even funnier to you.

The author, Rob Dircks, does a fantastic job with the narration! Although their voices are different, I kept comparing him to Wil Wheaton. I love Wil Wheaton so to me this is one of the highest compliments I can give him! Good job Rob Dircks! Good job!
Profile Image for Rhonda.
63 reviews1 follower
June 23, 2020
Weird but so much fun in its weirdness!
1 review
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November 18, 2016
I just finished this book thru Audible and loved it. I think part of the enjoyment was the comical way it was read by the narrator/author. It's been awhile since I have read such a creative book. The narrator "grows up" though the various stages of the book and is quick to congratulate himself when he recognizes the growth in his decision making abilities. The story made me take a look at my values and decisions that I have made through my life and compare them to the progress he is making. It's sounds like a boring and serious book from the way I am describing it. It's not, because there are lots of situations that made me chuckle. The way Chip, the main character, is so self deprecating and also warm hearted and a bit of a ding dong made me want to know more about him. The side characters, the Bobo's seem to come up with ideas and execute them is surprising fashion even though the don't really speak. It is all an adventure in an alternate plain with alternates of most of the characters, which is enjoyable to anticipate. I recommend giving it a try in the audio version.
Profile Image for Aliki.
311 reviews7 followers
November 10, 2015
Γέλασα οσο δεν παει με τούτο το βιβλιαράκι και πέρασα καταπληκτικά μεσα στον φανταστικό κόσμο που μας ανοίγεται ,κόσμο;τι λέω ....κόσμους .ειναι γεμάτο σάτιρα, ειρωνια,ποτισμένο με φαντασία και με ατσουμπαλους ήρωες οι οποιοι κατά λάθος θα σώσουν τον κόσμο .
Profile Image for Sarah.
23 reviews2 followers
July 21, 2020
I actually laughed out loud while reading this.
Profile Image for Kent Archie.
610 reviews6 followers
March 17, 2018
Amusing story, but the near constant swearing was distracting. It made either the characters or the author seem dim.
Profile Image for A.K. Lindsay.
57 reviews14 followers
April 17, 2014
Imagine the most long, rambling, annoyingly-worded email from your best friend (or ex-boyfriend). That is exactly what this book is. And I say "book" loosely, not because of the number of pages, but because in my opinion, this story does not end. Why the author decided to stop it at this particular part, I don't know. Part 2 could easily have been combined with Part 1 in order to create a book with an actual ending, though obviously both the author and the publisher disagree with me.

That being said, this book has both good and bad parts. I loved the concept when I read the blurb (and let me note here that I entered a giveaway and won the book, I did not purchase a copy). After reading this short snippet, I still absolutely LOVE the concept. Alternate dimensions, each road a different version of Earth if something had happened differently. It's this kind of What-If that made me fall in love with science fiction to begin with. And the few dimensions we're introduced to in the novel are inventive and interesting.

The author's greatest talent is his ability to make Chip's voice come alive on the page. That being said, Chip was the kind of character I wanted to punch in the face. I hated the way he worded his emails. Block list, please? If I was Julie, I'd be glad to kick his ass to the curb.

Not to mention the fact that it is written as a bunch of emails in the first place. That makes this book one long anecdote. The emails told everything that happened as though Chip was sitting beside me. It didn't give me the ability to fall into the narrative and experience the story for myself, the way my ideal book does. The only reason I read all the way to the end was because it was so short and I was able to reach the last page in an hour.

In short, I was disappointed in this. Despite mildly wanting to know what happens, I will not be buying the next, nor recommending this to my friends. If parts one and two (which I assume ties together the book and actually ends) had been combined, the answer might be different, because other people might not find Chip as annoying a character as I do.
1,148 reviews39 followers
April 16, 2014
A wonderfully outlandish novel full of dry humor and idiosynchronicity!

This truly remarkable literary work of inspired originality and vision was an extraordinarily unexpected delight. I can honestly state that upon encountering this unique book I was not sure what to expect, and so I began reading with trepidation and uncertainty. Rob Dircks cleverly combines an eclectic mix of genres; from comedy to slightly satirical sci-fi {in the vein of Douglas Adams} with spellbindingly heartrending romance for a fantastical fusion! This certainly is a bizarre book that incorporates the weird, wonderful and ‘way out’ in an exciting character-driven story.

Written as a type of journal, this is the story of Nikola Tesla; a noteworthy visionary and inventor. In part one of the notebook the main protagonist ‘Chip’ explores the visionary behind the spectacularly shocking and rather outrageous ideas. Each individual concept {for instance the “Interdimensional transfer apparatus”} is intricately conceived and envisioned, so as to open up the possibilities for a limitless horizon of innovation. I was blown-away by the eccentricity and peculiarity of some of what was written, and you are left contemplating as your entire perception is altered.

‘Where the hell is Tesla?’ is the most astonishingly, incomparable novel I have encountered which doesn’t slot into one particular genre. The vibrant and metaphorical prose is enlightening and quite refreshing, and will appeal to fans of Pratchett and Adams with its quirky individualism. The funny traits and qualities that each character embodies, makes this highly readable tale a truly unforgettable one. Taken on a profoundly poignant journey and emotive rollercoaster ride, I was reduced to tears of both joy and laughter throughout.

*I am so pleased to have won a copy of this fantastic book through a first-read giveaway on Goodreads, as I cannot wait for part 2…*


Profile Image for Sharlene.
99 reviews2 followers
September 29, 2014
I received this as a result of a First Reads giveaway.

I advise all readers to not attempt to read this before bed or a nap thinking you will read just one chapter. You won't and you can't! I thought just one chapter and then I will have a morning nap and the next thing I know I am finished and writing a review. Talk about a time warp!

Chip is your average free spirit who finds trouble without looking while Pete his sidekick is the more rational of the two. I just have to state here, that I love those characters! While I could relate to both of them, they made me laugh. They are so darn likable!

The editing was smooth but there were a couple of words that needed fixing such as a double "the" and an instant where dropping a letter from one word made it another word. Both were easy to either skip over or figure out quickly without having to reread the whole paragraph.

The plot is fun and reminds me a bit of "Sliders." I look forward to the rest of the series and will be passing this one on to the kids to read as I am sure they will love it.

A super quick read but worth all those images I now have in my head to get me through the day!
Profile Image for Jen.
56 reviews25 followers
May 8, 2014
So far, all I've read is the "disclaimer" (hooray for first-reads!) and, as the author said in the note he sent along with the book, he got a laugh out of me, so no refund required. ;)

Better review when I've read it, probably fairly soon, as it really is a shorty, but hopefully goody. :)

EDIT (May 8th): Put this off for a bit because I wonderfully gave myself a concussion. I should get an award for how clumsy I am.

Anyway, to the book!

I have to admit, it is a bit awkward to have the email context, but ignoring it, and having it read more as a "friend" relaying it to you? Not so bad then.

I like the theme overall, a not-so-brilliant-guy coming across one of THE most brilliant peoples' theories and thoughts and inventions? It's like when I try to explain computers to the rest of my family, now I know how they feel! Hahaha!

Am going to be looking forward to the second part, because I feel stuck right now. Argh, why for you do this to me, sir?!

22 reviews2 followers
March 8, 2015
This book was fast-paced and enjoyable. A few of the transitions from scene to scene were a bit choppy and the author didn't really seem to capture the "I might die and I just realized how I screwed up my life by not having you in it" romanticism. Then again, Chip is kind of a douche. Kind of. But overall, it was a whirlwind plot that was easy to get into. The main character is kind of an anti-hero that fell into his destiny. Kind of. Well, okay, he's a good guy. But barely. God this book really got into my head. Will I buy Part Two? Yeah. I have to know what happens and any book that can get me to that point within 90 pages is worth the ride.

*I won this book through the Goodreads.com Giveaway.
Profile Image for Jamie.
23 reviews
July 11, 2014
The beginnings of a story with great potential. I love the genre and this one includes some of my favourite subjects: dimension jumping/time-travel; excitable & overly-optimistic/cynical pairing of friends; alien tag-along; doors.....it's 'Mr.Benn' for adults.

It's an introduction to a story of great potential. The e-mail formatted chapters is a nice idea (presumably sent from a mobile phone. Can he charge the battery in the corridor? Does the battery even run-down in that corridor?), a very apt and accessible read for a modern audience.

Incomplete stories are, for me, difficult to rate fairly, so let's see with the coming installments.



Profile Image for Kassandra.
179 reviews
August 25, 2016
Note: This review is of the whole book, not just part one.

This book was pretty funny. It is almost the same in terms of genre as John Dies at the End, which is of course a delightful book. I'd say if you like that one, you'd like this one. The main characters are similar, and it has the same sort of mood of two guys who don't really care doing awesome stuff for kicks but not because they really care. This one is a bit more sentimental. Anyway, solid book, very entertaining.
Profile Image for David Vinther.
239 reviews41 followers
May 12, 2014
A First Reads win. This was a fun little book. It's very short, because it's just part 1 of 4. Fun story about a guy who gets a dead-end job, mostly because he appears to be a major screw-up, and finds the long-lost final journal of scientist Nikola Tesla. The overall story is a fun idea, and I'm interested to read the rest of the installments to see how it ends, but I really wish the author had just finished the whole book and put it out finished. That said, I would recommend this book and probably the story as a whole once it's finished.
Profile Image for Lon Bixby.
Author 33 books22 followers
June 10, 2014
I could not decide between giving this book 3 stars or 4 stars. I wanted to give it 3.5, but since that was not an option, I gave it 4... but only because I want to encourage the author to finish the story so I can finish reading it... and then, strongly give the entire book 4 stars. I love time travel stories. I love stories about Tesla... and I liked this book. I did not love it. I liked it. I did not laugh out loud, but I certainly enjoyed the reading it. It was a quick, entertaining, and fun read... and I am looking forward to reading the rest of the story when it comes out.
Profile Image for Vinny Kurtz.
2 reviews1 follower
April 24, 2014
Where the Hell is Tesla is a wonderfully short, entertaining read. Chip sounds like a normal human being writing emails about his crazy adventures. I was laughing at times and on the edge of my seat other times. The character of Chip is wonderful. You really get to see his thoughts since he is the one writing everything. Rob Dircks found an entertaining way to tell a clever story about the "secret world" behind Nikola Tesla. Can't wait for part 2.
Profile Image for Sharon Benham.
82 reviews5 followers
July 10, 2014
I got this book as a Goodreads Giveaway.

This is a nonsensical story about how two friends end up in various dimensions. Not all of them good.

I really enjoyed reading part one and I will be happy to read part two so I can find out more about Chip and Pete.

Although the book is nonsense, it is enjoyable nonsense.
Profile Image for Daniel Douglas.
Author 16 books21 followers
August 18, 2014
Where the Hell is Tesla offered a funny and unique ride through the INTERDIMENSIONAL TRANSPORT APPARATUS. Very entertaining and a great homage to a great scientist. If you're looking to laugh out loud while reading, then this is the book for you. Can't wait for the follow-on stories!
Profile Image for Friday.
31 reviews3 followers
June 16, 2015
A fun, funny light read. Definitely, something to lighten your commute or a continental or trans-Atlantic flight, just the right length.

A fresh and humorous take on the trans-dimensional Sci-fi, with a really human, human element.

The audiobook is well read by the author.
Profile Image for Isaac Macfarlane.
49 reviews2 followers
February 13, 2015
amusing story

I can't believe how well this works. I thought it was going to be hoky but I find myself wanting to see what happens next.
Profile Image for Harry H.
12 reviews
December 22, 2015
Loved this , was funny and entertaining . For a good laugh I highly recommend it.
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