Damaged but Not Destroyed: From Trauma to Triumph

by Michael Todd

The #1 New York Times bestselling author of Relationship Goals and Crazy Faith proves that no matter how badly you’ve messed up, no matter what hardship or pain you’ve experienced, nothing can destroy the priceless, God-given value of your life.

Your Damage Does Not Define You

Underneath our designer clothes, makeup, jewelry, and photo filters are cracks left by abuse, mistakes, rejection, and disappointment. Bestselling author and pastor Michael Todd reveals his own damage: the hits he’s experienced from trauma, dumb choices, and lingering struggles passed down through generations. Using candid stories and biblical wisdom, he encourages listeners to be H.O.T—humble, open, and transparent—and face the pain of past hits to move toward the triumphant future God has for them.

Damaged but Not Destroyed will give you tools to identify the impact of your damage, see yourself the way God sees you, and realize that healing is all about progression, not perfection.

No matter how badly you’ve messed up, and no matter the pain you’ve experienced, nothing can destroy the God-given value of your life. It’s time to turn your damage into destiny! You may be damaged, but you are not destroyed.

The Value Is Still in You

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Self Help, Faith, Spirituality

Audiobook

Published October 3, 2023

Reviews

[Emily Heckel · Rating 5 out of 5]

My absolute favorite part of this book is “see yourself the way God sees you.”

[Kenitra · Rating 2 out of 5]

|| BOOK REVIEW ||
Well @iammiketodd 3rd book titled #damagebutnotdistroyed came out yesterday and I listen to it on @audible I am a fan of paster and his work and was excited to read this book because I loved the other two.
.
.
.
This one was more on the personal deep kinda side like he talked about an event that happen to him as a young child. He talked about his insurance fraud charges and how that all came to play and he talked about the whole spit rubbed on the man’s face situation.
.
.
.
A few lessons I learned while posting to this book kinda happens towards the end of the book. But if I had to pick a favorite book from him this one is not it. I felt like in a way this book wasn’t needed and we could have waiting a little longer for another book from him.
.
.
.
I gave this book 2 out of 5 stars I just felt like it was decent but I mean if I never read it again I would be okay. To me it’s not like the other books that he had written. I felt like this book was made to clear up somethings that have been said about him. While also acknowledging God as well. I would say I love the “I TRUST YOU GOD” exercise that he teaches us in this book.
.
.
.
Have you read this book yet if so what are your thoughts on it? What did you like about it?

[Jacob Troutman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not a replacement for therapy, but rather a great accompaniment or even something that you could read before deciding. Just found out that he has an accompanying study guide for this book and that makes a lot of since. If you treat this book the way it was meant to it will be a lot of personal work and it's certainly worth doing. Damaged unaddressed is transferred.

[Tyniko Burrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great transparent guide to embracing your truths and starting your feeling journey.

[Javon Maye · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've just completed Chapter 2 of Pastor Todd's latest book, and I must say that I'm utterly impressed by his remarkable transparency and authenticity. In a world where discussions about abuse and trauma have often been sidestepped, Pastor Todd takes a courageous step forward, opening up about his own experiences and vulnerabilities.

This book addresses a significant gap in our understanding of these issues, shedding light on the consequences of historical silence within the church. What Pastor Todd offers in these pages is nothing short of a transformative journey. He invites readers to revisit their own pasts, confronting deeply rooted traumas, hurts, insecurities, rejections, neglect, disappointments, etc.

The power of Pastor Todd's message and the healing potential it holds is truly commendable. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking personal growth and emotional healing. It's a vital resource that can inspire meaningful change.

[Cel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not the most religious person I guess I can say I am more spiritual however, I really did enjoy this audiobook it was very inspiring. Basically Pastor Todd was saying you are not your past trauma that even though we go through trials and tribulations we are still a child of god and to block out the noise and go within using God's teaching. I liked that he used some of his life experiences to show us and it was a short read and he added some humor to it.

[Shobee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was in the US recently and looked for this book high and low at selected bookstores (not mainstream ones by the way) and did not find it. I really looked.

On my return to the UK, I noted that the Audiobook version was included in my Spotify account. So I went for it.

As soon as I started listening, I knew I was meant to listen to, not read, this book. It hit on so many levels.

A book every hurt person, especially hurt Christians, should read.

Thank you for sharing Pastor Mike, you have given me so much to think about.

[Missy Kareem · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a person who is on a healing journey, this book delivered for me. It was easy to read and helped me to unpack shame and guilt I had been holding on to from past mistakes. I cried while reading but in a good way because I released lots of pain and am ready for next steps.

[K L.T · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you my dearest Christian teacher. I cannot ever express my gratitude for your kindness.

[Jordan Walker-Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing tool to learn how to receive healing from the Lord. Damage comes in many forms, but healing comes from one person and his name is JESUS.

[Jamie Feliz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was everything I needed. Would absolutely recommend to anyone navigating feelings of brokenness or unworthiness

[Shamiya · Rating 5 out of 5]

This audiobook was wonderful! I need to watch his series. Such a relatable and down to earth person.

[Rachel Schwantes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this! I thought it was engaging, uplifting and very hopeful. I liked the author’s choice of Bible references, too. It’s so easy to write yourself off as a failure because you’ve experienced damage in some way. This book teaches about finding purpose in your damage, not defining yourself by it. It’s a great message for anyone who’s gone through something hard, and honestly isn’t that all of us?♥️

[Airam Nevels · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pastor Mike Todd brings a real and fresh outlook to what many Millenial Christians are dealing with. We don't fit in with the old ways but we still feel too old to fit in with the young gen z'ers. He understands that we don't live in a bubble and addresses head-on the cultural influences that are around us and gives a nod to our pop culture. Pastor Mike will walk you through how to identify the hits in life that damaged us and give us the game plan to move forward. He sticks to Scripture to give an accurate roadmap. At the end he reminds us that we are still here, we are not destroyed despite the intentions of the world.

[Josie Monroe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was wonderful. I listened to the audiobook, which was read by Mike Todd himself. It made it a whole different experience, though I have the actual book as well. Wonderful book. 20/10 recommend. The audiobook had me in heavy tears yall

[Monica Quarles · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this book is a good introductory book to those looking for an easy, relatable read. I think he was just skimming the surface with this book. I do appreciate examples provided, as well as tools to utilize throughout to begin to do the work to work through trauma with a spiritual lens.

[Darius · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this book, Pastor Todd empathizes with his audiences negative experiences while simultaneously challenging them to face their hurts and traumas to begin a process of healing. I love how he is humble, open, and transparent with sharing his own experiences and how he personally has had to navigate a process of healing. The book provides practical steps for readers to take during their healing journey and even provides opportunities throughout for readers to stop and reflect on their own experiences. Great book and an easy read.

[Anasha Green · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the message of this book overall is good for people who don't see their worth, but it didn't really do much for me. Granted, I don't think I'm a part of the audience who would benefit most from this book so I think that was the first element that made this book just okay. One thing that I really began to grow tired of was the repetitiveness of similar statements and the over use of alliteration. I know this is Mike Todd's style that he uses, especially in his preaching, but it was so overused that I found myself skipping over sections in the chapter because I didn't feel like reading 20 versions of the same sentiment repeated one after the other. The over use of the alliteration also made me feel like he was going for things that sounded good and worked for the massage, rather than just writing in a way that was straightforward and plain. If you're not struggling with anything that this book and its tools can help with, this probably won't be a super valuable read. If you are, the tools and methods may help you out

[Jay DeMoir · Rating 5 out of 5]

Working through trauma is important. It’s also important to note that a person is NOT their trauma. This was impactful and helpful. I thoroughly enjoyed this book & plan to revisit it in the future. A lot of good nuggets were written in this one and it left me with things to ponder and work on✊🏾💯

[Angel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a wonderful read. We all have traumas, but he explains his experiences and how he and you can overcome them.

[Reader · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn’t read all the way through. Book was decent but wouldn’t recommend.

[Simone · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Its so good

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very insightful on the past pains we carry that shape us and gives you practical tools on how to work through the traumas to move past them.

[Baaba Sam]

I love this book 💗💗

[Jung · Rating 2 out of 5]

In the pursuit of personal growth and spiritual healing, Michael Todd's book, "Damaged but Not Destroyed," offers transformative tools and insights. It guides readers through a journey of self-discovery, encouraging the identification and transformation of internal pain points into pathways for growth. The narrative emphasizes the importance of facing past traumas, embracing honesty, and harnessing the transformative power of grace. The goal is not just self-awareness but a more fulfilling life.

The HOT method (Humble, Open, Transparent) provides a roadmap for unlocking past traumas. Todd uses the metaphor of a dartboard to illustrate how life experiences embed themselves in different domains. By openly acknowledging these hurts, individuals can initiate a transformative healing journey. The Equation of Damage further helps in separating events from self-worth, turning past damage into valuable life lessons. Honesty becomes a cornerstone in the healing journey, illustrated through Todd's personal experiences. He shares a pivotal moment in his counseling journey with his wife, emphasizing the need for unfiltered truth in therapy. The heavy emotional labor invested in healing is viewed as an investment not just for the present but for future generations. The book advocates for a culture of honesty in relationships and suggests journaling as a powerful tool for self-reflection.

Grace is portrayed as an active force leading to genuine inner change and restoration. Todd likens grace to a compass that helps realign internal emotional and spiritual geography. Embracing grace involves humility, openness, and transparency, creating a ripple effect that extends to relationships, community, and future generations. The narrative encourages growth beyond comfort zones, emphasizing the importance of open receptivity to receive grace. The book challenges the belief that damage dictates destiny, urging readers to find purpose amid adversity. The Equation of Damage is revisited, incorporating faith as a key element in healing. The biblical narrative of Mephibosheth serves as a life lesson, highlighting the value of entrusting one's domain of damage to a higher power. Prioritizing spiritual connection over material pursuits is emphasized as a means to fulfill one's destiny.

"Damaged but Not Destroyed" offers a comprehensive approach to healing, encompassing the acknowledgment of past traumas, radical honesty, the transformative power of grace, and a spiritual journey amid adversity. The narrative weaves personal anecdotes, practical tools, and spiritual insights to guide readers toward a life of wholeness and authentic happiness. Todd's message is clear: damage may slow you down, but with the right mindset and tools, it cannot destroy your destiny. The book encourages readers not only to heal themselves but to become agents of change for generations to come.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Damaged but Not Destroyed, Michael Todd explored how he has been hurt and experienced trauma. He referred to it as H.O.T. (humble, open, and transparent). Even though we are damaged, we can still remember that we are not destroyed. One of the stories, he shared was about how he purchased a fancy car that he couldn’t afford. He made the month payments but couldn’t afford anything extra and he has no spare money if something broke. He let his insurance lapse while it was in the shop. The day it was fixed there was ice all over the road and instead of waiting he went to go pick up his ride. He accidently slid into another lane and hit a car. He got insurance back on the vehicle and then waited a few hours to call back and file a claim. He chose to lie and committed insurance fraud, which is a felony. It took about five years before it all was revealed and the hearings were completed. At this time, he was a youth pastor. He had to turn himself in and was booked and jailed. He did his time and paid the fines and worked in the community. He had to deal with the self-inflicted damage. In the book, he helped readers to heal and deal with their damage. God is able to restore and use everything good according to His purpose.


Another favorite chapter discussed an analogy of the dartboard of damage. There are four common weapons that we all face and can leave a mark. These enclosed words, actions, exposure, and environment. Next, he goes into detail about the common domains of damage: disappointments, false teachings, ignorance, scarcity, abuse, neglect, rejection, and much more. “The darts (weapons of damage) and domains (the where of damage)”. This illustration was very eye opening to see where the darts and the wound and damage can occur. It included some examples of equations and open spaces where you can write down your own thoughts that lead to your damage.




I would recommend this awesome book to anyone is feeling broken, hurt, and damaged. This book will assist readers into realizing that they are not destroyed even if they feel that they are damaged. I immensely loved how he reminded readers that their name is unique and how God knows your name. You don’t have to answer to “addict, slut, felon, or failure”. This is incredible and powerful to remember that our value is in Christ. He also included a special section with verses describing our identity in Christ.

[Michelle Gutierrez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Damaged but Not Destroyed by Michael Todd is a deeply personal and powerful book that truly showcases Todd’s vulnerability and desire to connect with readers on a profound level. He doesn’t hold back in sharing his story, tackling trauma, moments of doubt in faith, and the struggles of mental health. Through his honesty, Todd creates a raw and relatable narrative that invites readers to reflect on their own challenges and seek strength in the face of adversity.

One of the aspects I truly appreciated was the use of scripture throughout the book. Todd’s integration of biblical teachings not only adds depth but also provides a foundation for understanding how God is guiding us through difficult times. This aspect makes the book feel both spiritually enriching and practically helpful.

What stood out to me most was how Todd incorporated his life experiences into his message. These personal anecdotes help bridge the gap between the reader and the author, making his journey more tangible and inspiring. It’s one thing to hear advice, but hearing it from someone who has walked that path adds an unmatched layer of authenticity.

The acronym H.O.T.—Honest, Open, and Transparent—was a powerful reminder Todd shared that stuck with me long after finishing the book. It’s something I find myself thinking about in day-to-day conversations, encouraging me to show up as my most genuine self and approach interactions with a sense of openness. This principle alone can shift how we connect with others and navigate our own experiences.

Damaged but Not Destroyed is a testament to the strength of the human spirit, showing that while we may be broken or facing overwhelming trials, we can emerge resilient and renewed. Todd’s story is one of faith, perseverance, and hope, offering readers the encouragement they need to keep moving forward, no matter how challenging life may be.

[Cheryl Durham · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is our Book Club selection for this month. I am familiar with the author and other books that he has written.

First, let me say that Pastor Todd married his High School sweetheart. Together, they have four kids. (3 daughters and a son). They reside in Tulsa, OK and lead a large multi denominational church. Like everyone else they have weathered many storms. He wrote about previous challenges and how it’s easy to feel defeated and broken. He also penned that the weight of the mistakes can seem heavy. He co-signs that it’s important to look inward to deal with mistakes, pain and problems. His attestation is that you can’t heal what you won’t reveal. He goes on to say that no matter how beat up you may feel and no matter how many mistakes you have made…nothing can destroy the value that God has placed on your life.

It wasn’t until his only son, MJ, was diagnosed with autism that he realized the mechanisms and tools that he had once employed would not prove to be effective. While he wanted to pray and receive direction as to how to handle this…his wife wanted to seek information to learn how better deal with their new normal. She wasn’t disavowing that faith wasn’t key; she was acknowledging that “faith without works was dead.”

Together, he and his wife did the work. They went to counseling. They learned as much as they can about autism. Pastor Todd acknowledged that when you do the work you arise and awaken from the dark and embrace the light. This short book helps readers to see that you are never beyond redemption and never truly shattered beyond repair. All in all, regardless of what you are going through it is imperative to remember that God is “close to the broken-hearted” (Psalm 34:18).

[Kathleen Ryder · Rating 4 out of 5]

BLURB:
Through perspective-shifting insights gained by overcoming his own significant challenges, Pastor Michael Todd offers the encouragement you need to identify the damage you’ve experienced in life and practical tools to receive God’s healing. With transparent and dynamic storytelling, Pastor Mike shares about the damaging hits he’s received in life—sexual trauma, dumb choices, generational struggles, and letting coping mechanisms drive decisions. With hard-earned insights and an inspiring look at the biblical story of King David and Mephiboseth, Pastor Mike helps you overcome the lie that the mistakes you’ve made and the pain you’ve experienced have made you unworthy of God’s love and calling.

Damaged but Not Destroyed gives you effective tools to
• pinpoint the impact damage has had in your life
• bring your pain into the presence of God
• learn to see yourself the way God sees you
• realize that healing is about progression, not perfection
• experience His powerful healing at work in your life

You’ll learn how to get unstuck from your past, step into the bold future God has planned for you, and trust deep in your bones that you are handcrafted with love and purpose by the creator of the universe.

MY REVIEW:
I found this book incredibly insightful, it was just what I needed. I have been chained to my past trauma and couldn’t release it, even though it caused me so much pain and regret.

Reading this book was eye-opening to me, it will be a book I return to again and again on my healing journey.

Thank you to NetGalley for a copy of this book in return for my honest review.

[Markie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is highly recommended with a five-star rating. It provides valuable and informative content that will assist individuals in addressing emotional eating and navigating through the process of grief. The chapters are well-written, offering insightful perspectives on these subjects. Overall, it is a great resource for anyone seeking guidance in these areas.

In his book Damaged but Not Destroyed, Pastor Michael Todd offers valuable insights gained from personal challenges and provides practical tools for receiving healing from God. Through transparent storytelling, Pastor Mike shares his own experiences with sexual trauma, poor choices, generational struggles, and relying on coping mechanisms. By examining the biblical story of King David and Mephiboseth, he helps readers overcome the belief that their mistakes and pain have made them unworthy of God's love and calling.

Damaged but Not Destroyed equips readers with practical tools to:
- Identify the impact of damage in their lives
- Bring their pain before God
- See themselves through God's eyes
- Understand that healing is a journey, not perfection
- Experience God's powerful healing in their lives

This book guides readers in breaking free from their past and confidently stepping into the future that God has planned for them. It reassures them that they are uniquely crafted with love and purpose by the Creator of the universe.

I found reading this book to be truly enlightening in my own healing journey, and it is one that I will keep returning to time and time again.