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Snuggling the Grotesque
We apologize in advance for the fatal blow to your sanity, but Bram Stoker Award-winning author Jeff Strand is back with another short story collection!
Yes, the author of Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, Everything Has Teeth, Candy Coated Madness, and Freaky Briefs isn’t done with you yet. There will be serial killers. There will be cosmic horror. There will be extremely demented cooking competitions. There will be pink fizzy drinks. There will be Santa Claus, hangings in the Old West, body swaps, some light cannibalism, and monsters galore.
The twenty-six stories contained within these pages include fan favorites like “Torture Porn For Prudes” and “Rope and Limb,” along with the Splatterpunk Award-winning story “Next Best Baker.” There are strange, twisted tales like “Insufficiently Splattery,” “Devil-Powered Death Train of Doom,” and “Mouthy.” There’s even the depraved “Mac & Millie,” which you should definitely not read.
Prepare a cup of hot cocoa and put on your comfiest pajamas, because you’re about to be Snuggling the Grotesque.
Table of SwapRope and LimbTorture Porn For PrudesPink PassionGhosts of Candies PastTurn MeAvert Thine EyesDevil-Powered Death Train of DoomDump TruckNext Best BakerCherry TreeMouthyAll I Want For Christmas Is Your Two Front TeethHold Your BreathFirst DateTeenage Death SongLost GatorInsufficiently SplatteryThe Mummy's BiteMy Favorite Halloween MemoryGhetto BlasterAnother Santa StoryThe WellThe Body Hidin' SpotY2K FeastMac & MillieAnd, of course, an introduction and author notes on each story!
Yes, the author of Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, Everything Has Teeth, Candy Coated Madness, and Freaky Briefs isn’t done with you yet. There will be serial killers. There will be cosmic horror. There will be extremely demented cooking competitions. There will be pink fizzy drinks. There will be Santa Claus, hangings in the Old West, body swaps, some light cannibalism, and monsters galore.
The twenty-six stories contained within these pages include fan favorites like “Torture Porn For Prudes” and “Rope and Limb,” along with the Splatterpunk Award-winning story “Next Best Baker.” There are strange, twisted tales like “Insufficiently Splattery,” “Devil-Powered Death Train of Doom,” and “Mouthy.” There’s even the depraved “Mac & Millie,” which you should definitely not read.
Prepare a cup of hot cocoa and put on your comfiest pajamas, because you’re about to be Snuggling the Grotesque.
Table of SwapRope and LimbTorture Porn For PrudesPink PassionGhosts of Candies PastTurn MeAvert Thine EyesDevil-Powered Death Train of DoomDump TruckNext Best BakerCherry TreeMouthyAll I Want For Christmas Is Your Two Front TeethHold Your BreathFirst DateTeenage Death SongLost GatorInsufficiently SplatteryThe Mummy's BiteMy Favorite Halloween MemoryGhetto BlasterAnother Santa StoryThe WellThe Body Hidin' SpotY2K FeastMac & MillieAnd, of course, an introduction and author notes on each story!
276 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 25, 2024
90 people are currently reading
45 people want to read
About the author
Jeff Strand
229 books2,210 followersBram Stoker Award-winning author of a bunch of demented books, including PRESSURE, DWELLER, CLOWNS VS. SPIDERS, AUTUMN BLEEDS INTO WINTER, MY PRETTIES, the official novelization of ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES, and lots of others!
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
December 24, 2024
*Body Swap:
A professor and his slacker student learn what it's like to walk in each other's shoes.
Rope and Limb:
A criminal and the town mayor argue over the best way to execute him.
Torture Porn for Prudes:
A psychopathic, yet prude killer tells his victim all about his plans - shocking him with the depravity coming from a man who won't even cuss.
Pink Passion:
A tough guy doesn't hesitate to physically defend his drink of choice at the bar.
Ghosts of Candies Past:
A nostalgic monster appears in a family's home after trick or treating, determined to bring back vintage candy.
Turn Me:
A man forced to confront his own mortality kidnaps a vampire with the intent of becoming one himself, except the creature is unwilling to help.
Avert Thine Eyes:
A group of friends struggle with keeping their eyes off the cosmic horror floating above.
Devil-Powered Death Train of Doom:
Parents find out their son's model train is an actual killing machine.
Dump Truck:
A woman is primed and ready to accept her special delivery, but there's been a rather severe mix up.
*Next Best Baker:
Four finalists compete to be Next Best Baker on a very chaotic and violent baking show.
Cherry Tree:
Three friends take turns telling the end - the way they heard it - of an urban legend where a little girl swallows a cherry pit.
Mouthy:
A man finds a monster in his shed and his first thought is "body disposal," except things don't go as smoothly as planned.
All I Want for Christmas is Your Two Front Teeth:
A guy simply cannot believe people don't find the joke he makes from some Christmas lyrics funny.
Hold Your Breath:
A young girl is told to participate in the local "initiation ritual," but unfortunately she doesn't complete it quite correctly.
*First Date:
A man with a dark secret decides to lay it all out on the table on his first date - unfortunately his date is quite abrasive and ridicules him relentlessly - not to mention, she has a dark desire of her own.
Teenage Death Song:
A teen girl has three boyfriends die in tragic, grisly freak accidents in the span of two months.
Lost Gator:
A man loses his giant killer alligator in a busy city.
Insufficiently Splattery:
A man who kills his victims just to see the grisly visual effects, expresses his grave disappointment that his latest killing did not meet expectations.
The Mummy's Bite:
A young boy is bitten by a mummy and is convinced he is going to become one himself.
My Favorite Halloween Memory:
A kidnapper tells several of his Halloween stories to his victim, trying to come up with the answer to her question.
Ghetto Blaster:
An obnoxious man walks around everywhere, every day, with his radio blasting on his shoulder, not a care in the world - until he receives a cursed boom box.
*Another Santa Story:
A family of four wakes to find Santa in their living room, having filled underneath the tree with loads of gifts, only this year, Santa is suffering a psychotic break, and offers the family to take part in a deadly game.
The Well:
A villager tells how yearly human sacrifices are lowered into the town well in exchange for rainfall, crops and good hunting - but eventually, others begin to question if this is necessary.
The Body Hidin' Spot:
After a teen stabs another boy to death in a fit of jealous rage, his Pa comes upon the grisly scene and decides to help his son clean up and dispose of his very first body.
Y2K Feast:
A father who has been excitedly prepping for the end of the world in year 2000, tells his family they may have to end up eating human flesh. It doesn't go over well, and when the world doesn't actually end, the man finds the tables have turned.
*Mac - Millie:
A depraved serial killer is sickened by a woman on a dating app, and decides to pretend the opposite is true, in order to meet up and murder her. Unfortunately for him, she has the exact same idea - and is much more violent and savage than he is.
---------------------
I loved every single story but I forced myself to choose a few favorites and have starred them.
I literally have no idea what is wrong with Jeff Strand but I am so here for it. 😂 That being said, the guy could write a 500 page novel about how he took the trash out that week and I'd gladly read it. Twice. One of my favorite authors, everything he writes is a win; it's always entertaining and always hilarious.
A professor and his slacker student learn what it's like to walk in each other's shoes.
Rope and Limb:
A criminal and the town mayor argue over the best way to execute him.
Torture Porn for Prudes:
A psychopathic, yet prude killer tells his victim all about his plans - shocking him with the depravity coming from a man who won't even cuss.
Pink Passion:
A tough guy doesn't hesitate to physically defend his drink of choice at the bar.
Ghosts of Candies Past:
A nostalgic monster appears in a family's home after trick or treating, determined to bring back vintage candy.
Turn Me:
A man forced to confront his own mortality kidnaps a vampire with the intent of becoming one himself, except the creature is unwilling to help.
Avert Thine Eyes:
A group of friends struggle with keeping their eyes off the cosmic horror floating above.
Devil-Powered Death Train of Doom:
Parents find out their son's model train is an actual killing machine.
Dump Truck:
A woman is primed and ready to accept her special delivery, but there's been a rather severe mix up.
*Next Best Baker:
Four finalists compete to be Next Best Baker on a very chaotic and violent baking show.
Cherry Tree:
Three friends take turns telling the end - the way they heard it - of an urban legend where a little girl swallows a cherry pit.
Mouthy:
A man finds a monster in his shed and his first thought is "body disposal," except things don't go as smoothly as planned.
All I Want for Christmas is Your Two Front Teeth:
A guy simply cannot believe people don't find the joke he makes from some Christmas lyrics funny.
Hold Your Breath:
A young girl is told to participate in the local "initiation ritual," but unfortunately she doesn't complete it quite correctly.
*First Date:
A man with a dark secret decides to lay it all out on the table on his first date - unfortunately his date is quite abrasive and ridicules him relentlessly - not to mention, she has a dark desire of her own.
Teenage Death Song:
A teen girl has three boyfriends die in tragic, grisly freak accidents in the span of two months.
Lost Gator:
A man loses his giant killer alligator in a busy city.
Insufficiently Splattery:
A man who kills his victims just to see the grisly visual effects, expresses his grave disappointment that his latest killing did not meet expectations.
The Mummy's Bite:
A young boy is bitten by a mummy and is convinced he is going to become one himself.
My Favorite Halloween Memory:
A kidnapper tells several of his Halloween stories to his victim, trying to come up with the answer to her question.
Ghetto Blaster:
An obnoxious man walks around everywhere, every day, with his radio blasting on his shoulder, not a care in the world - until he receives a cursed boom box.
*Another Santa Story:
A family of four wakes to find Santa in their living room, having filled underneath the tree with loads of gifts, only this year, Santa is suffering a psychotic break, and offers the family to take part in a deadly game.
The Well:
A villager tells how yearly human sacrifices are lowered into the town well in exchange for rainfall, crops and good hunting - but eventually, others begin to question if this is necessary.
The Body Hidin' Spot:
After a teen stabs another boy to death in a fit of jealous rage, his Pa comes upon the grisly scene and decides to help his son clean up and dispose of his very first body.
Y2K Feast:
A father who has been excitedly prepping for the end of the world in year 2000, tells his family they may have to end up eating human flesh. It doesn't go over well, and when the world doesn't actually end, the man finds the tables have turned.
*Mac - Millie:
A depraved serial killer is sickened by a woman on a dating app, and decides to pretend the opposite is true, in order to meet up and murder her. Unfortunately for him, she has the exact same idea - and is much more violent and savage than he is.
---------------------
I loved every single story but I forced myself to choose a few favorites and have starred them.
I literally have no idea what is wrong with Jeff Strand but I am so here for it. 😂 That being said, the guy could write a 500 page novel about how he took the trash out that week and I'd gladly read it. Twice. One of my favorite authors, everything he writes is a win; it's always entertaining and always hilarious.
May 5, 2025
“I was under the impression that it would be a sight that haunted my every waking moment. Don’t get me wrong—I’ll think about this thing a lot. Probably every day for the rest of my life. But not every hour of every day.” (from 'Avert Thine Eyes')
This is my second short story collection by Strand and I had an amazing time!
Once again, he managed to make me laugh in a lot of the stories. Even the foreword of the book was hilarious!
Here are my ratings/quick thoughts on each story:
Body Swap: Hilarious story, it's like Freaky Friday but bloodier and sillier. 4/5
Rope and Limb: This was funny! Loved the sarcastic tone. 4/5
Torture Porn For Prudes: Hilarious. This is how I would envision myself interacting with a serial killer. 4/5
Pink Passion: loved the social commentary in this one, because it is so ridiculous that people judge men for drinking cocktails that are too "girly". 3/5
Ghosts of Candies Past: I had already read that one in another collection, and found it just as fun as the last time. I could see the story being adapted in a Halloween anthology movie. 4/5
Turn Me: Fun story, the last line was awesome. Being a vampire may not be as cool as it seems. 3/5
Avert Thine Eyes: Funny cosmic horror story. 4/5
Devil-Powered Death Train of Doom: Loved the concept of this one; a toy train having the power to kill people in real life. 5/5
Dump Truck: So creative! 5/5
Next Best Baker: I will never see a baking show the same again. This was so hilarious and creative. 5/5
Cherry Tree: I love a story inside a story. I liked the creepy kid aspect, but it could have gone darker. 4/5
Mouthy: Short and sweet, the ending was funny. 3.5/5
All I Want For Christmas Is Your Two Front Teeth: I liked Santa's reaction to Kyle's "joke". 3/5
Hold Your Breath: I didn't really understand the point of that story. 2.5/5
First Date: That ending though! 4.5/5
Teenage Death Song: Teenage love, the most intense XD. 4/5
Lost Gator: Hilarious 5/5
Insufficiently Splattery: So funny. 4/5
The Mummy's Bite: Really cool, felt like Goosebumps for adults. 4/5
My Favorite Halloween Memory: Funny. 4/5
Ghetto Blaster: Looove the sarcasm, great life lesson. 4/5
Another Santa Story: This is why I don't want kids. 4.5/5
The Well: A bit boring. 2.5/5
The Body Hidin' Spot: OMG another shocking and funny ending! 5/5
Y2K Feast: Haha, this took a turn I did not expect. 4/5
Mac & Millie: Entertaining. 3.5/5
Also, I could relate to this author's note at the end (it made me think of when I had to write essays for school, for example):
"...Okay, there was no head-banging. I get my ideas a) while going for long thoughtful walks, b) in the shower, or c) in the middle of the night, when there’s a 99% chance I won’t remember them in the morning, and if I do write them down, I’ll realize by the light of dawn that they totally suck." (Story notes for 'Turn Me')
Here are other quotes that made me laugh or that I liked:
“Edward bit off his tongue, just like he said he would, and then the ancient evil popped his head off like it was pulling the cork out of a bottle of wine. I don’t mean like it was using a corkscrew—that would’ve been horrific. I mean like when you drink part of a bottle of wine, and you put the cork back in, and then you pop it back out when you’re ready for more wine. It was like that, but gorier.” (from 'Avert Thine Eyes')
“Davy is going to spend eternity drowning in a pool of hellfire while fanged demons cackle at his misfortune. I’d hate for it to all be for nothing.” (from 'Devil-Powered Death Train of Doom')
"It’s like when you slash somebody’s neck open and blood sprays all over the place. It’s cool. It’s weirdly beautiful. You feel like you accomplished something. But if, I don’t know, they’re wearing a red turtleneck sweater, and the blood is soaking into the cloth, and you can’t really tell what’s happening, it seems kind of pointless." (from 'Insufficiently Splattery')
“Wow,” I said. “I didn’t realize we killed so many people.” “Always with cause,” said Pa. “We’re not out there hacking and slashing like we’ve gone feral. Have we killed more than our share of our fellow human beings? Yeah, I’d say so. But we’ve interacted with more folks who deserved it than the average family.” (from 'The Body Hidin' Spot')
"Don’t transform yourself into a monster out of fear." (from 'Turn Me')
This is my second short story collection by Strand and I had an amazing time!
Once again, he managed to make me laugh in a lot of the stories. Even the foreword of the book was hilarious!
Here are my ratings/quick thoughts on each story:
Body Swap: Hilarious story, it's like Freaky Friday but bloodier and sillier. 4/5
Rope and Limb: This was funny! Loved the sarcastic tone. 4/5
Torture Porn For Prudes: Hilarious. This is how I would envision myself interacting with a serial killer. 4/5
Pink Passion: loved the social commentary in this one, because it is so ridiculous that people judge men for drinking cocktails that are too "girly". 3/5
Ghosts of Candies Past: I had already read that one in another collection, and found it just as fun as the last time. I could see the story being adapted in a Halloween anthology movie. 4/5
Turn Me: Fun story, the last line was awesome. Being a vampire may not be as cool as it seems. 3/5
Avert Thine Eyes: Funny cosmic horror story. 4/5
Devil-Powered Death Train of Doom: Loved the concept of this one; a toy train having the power to kill people in real life. 5/5
Dump Truck: So creative! 5/5
Next Best Baker: I will never see a baking show the same again. This was so hilarious and creative. 5/5
Cherry Tree: I love a story inside a story. I liked the creepy kid aspect, but it could have gone darker. 4/5
Mouthy: Short and sweet, the ending was funny. 3.5/5
All I Want For Christmas Is Your Two Front Teeth: I liked Santa's reaction to Kyle's "joke". 3/5
Hold Your Breath: I didn't really understand the point of that story. 2.5/5
First Date: That ending though! 4.5/5
Teenage Death Song: Teenage love, the most intense XD. 4/5
Lost Gator: Hilarious 5/5
Insufficiently Splattery: So funny. 4/5
The Mummy's Bite: Really cool, felt like Goosebumps for adults. 4/5
My Favorite Halloween Memory: Funny. 4/5
Ghetto Blaster: Looove the sarcasm, great life lesson. 4/5
Another Santa Story: This is why I don't want kids. 4.5/5
The Well: A bit boring. 2.5/5
The Body Hidin' Spot: OMG another shocking and funny ending! 5/5
Y2K Feast: Haha, this took a turn I did not expect. 4/5
Mac & Millie: Entertaining. 3.5/5
Also, I could relate to this author's note at the end (it made me think of when I had to write essays for school, for example):
"...Okay, there was no head-banging. I get my ideas a) while going for long thoughtful walks, b) in the shower, or c) in the middle of the night, when there’s a 99% chance I won’t remember them in the morning, and if I do write them down, I’ll realize by the light of dawn that they totally suck." (Story notes for 'Turn Me')
Here are other quotes that made me laugh or that I liked:
“Edward bit off his tongue, just like he said he would, and then the ancient evil popped his head off like it was pulling the cork out of a bottle of wine. I don’t mean like it was using a corkscrew—that would’ve been horrific. I mean like when you drink part of a bottle of wine, and you put the cork back in, and then you pop it back out when you’re ready for more wine. It was like that, but gorier.” (from 'Avert Thine Eyes')
“Davy is going to spend eternity drowning in a pool of hellfire while fanged demons cackle at his misfortune. I’d hate for it to all be for nothing.” (from 'Devil-Powered Death Train of Doom')
"It’s like when you slash somebody’s neck open and blood sprays all over the place. It’s cool. It’s weirdly beautiful. You feel like you accomplished something. But if, I don’t know, they’re wearing a red turtleneck sweater, and the blood is soaking into the cloth, and you can’t really tell what’s happening, it seems kind of pointless." (from 'Insufficiently Splattery')
“Wow,” I said. “I didn’t realize we killed so many people.” “Always with cause,” said Pa. “We’re not out there hacking and slashing like we’ve gone feral. Have we killed more than our share of our fellow human beings? Yeah, I’d say so. But we’ve interacted with more folks who deserved it than the average family.” (from 'The Body Hidin' Spot')
"Don’t transform yourself into a monster out of fear." (from 'Turn Me')
October 14, 2024
I had a blast reading these short stories! They were a great lunchtime at work read, and there's a few in this collection that I would love seen turned into either a Tales From The Crypt type episode or even an audio version done that is like the old time radio show shows.
September 12, 2024
This book is very cool. It's, like, 5+ stars, or something. I mean, it piratically (practically ... pragmatically) oozes with literary wonder-goo: It makes you think, consider what will happen next, the meaning of your book-reading life. All of this, of course, is because the author is Jeff Strand! (He even has the word "strand" as his last name, and strand's a word!) And Jeff Strand is very cool -- his books are gloriously funny and weird.
Anyway, here's a short review of every short story:
"Introduction" -- This one was interesting, I must say. I was introduced to the author, Jeff Strand, and learned a couple things, too. That was nice. Great introduction. I give this ... introduction/foreword.
"Body Swap" -- A body swap. (I know, shocker.) A fun body swap. (I know, it's Jeff Strand.) Just amazing body swap and the insanity that it causes, I think. Rating? Peterson/Clay.
"Rope and Limb" -- I forgot this one at first. No, not because it was a bad story (because it isn't (I think that's how it's phrased)), but because I have a bad memory. This is a story on why we need to invest in town execution contraptions. They're all the rage these days; the kids love them. But I must say, the bank teller is the real villain. A stick/eye story.
"Torture Porn For Prudes" -- Converse with your torture-er. It's amazing, that I can tell you. His mother's kinda mean, though. Rating: ding-dong/genitalia.
"Pink Passion" -- Strangers. Saloons. Drinks. Gravelly voices. (Plot twist at end.) Pink/passion.
"Ghosts of Candies Past" -- What the heck! Living candy monsters? Generation divide, or whatever that's called? Yes and yes! Old/new, is this story's rating.
"Turn Me" -- Two guys want to be bitten by a rather inconsiderate vampire. A funny story. Features some moments that will make you think. Yes, think! You will consider everything in your life, because this is just one of those stories! Bite/vampire.
"Avert Thine Eyes" -- I did not avert thine eyes whilst reading this tale of madness and cosmic horror. But now maybe I'll go mad. I shouldn't have let my eyes wander to take in its, like, twenty tentacles. Ahhhh. I hope I don't go mad so I can finish writing this review. Eyes/averted.
"Devil-Powered Death Train of Doom" -- First off, amazing title. It really pulls you in, you know? Second off, amazing concept. You just can't stop thinking about it, you know? Third off, I would read a full novel about this. The places it could go, you know? Lastly, the verdict: HotDogBob/splattered.
"Dumb Truck" -- Those pesky neighbours and wishes and the whatnot. Monster/truck.
"Next Best Baker" -- This might be my favourite of the collection. Two strange ingredients in a strange baking show. Best baker? Next Best Baker. (?????) You must laugh. (At the story, because it's trying to make you laugh.) AMAZING: Vincent/Gunther.
"Cherry Tree" -- Why you shouldn't eat cherry seeds, kids. Which one was the true story? Grade: cherry/stomach.
"Mouthy" -- You DO have a mouth-monster to kill! Go do it. Stop/distracting.
"All I Want For Christmas Is Your Two Front Teeth" -- Me too. Me too ... I mean, who doesn't? Guy's got a good sense of humour. And a great commitment, too. Agree/Santa.
"Hold Your Breath" -- Holding ... Oh, this is more difficult than I thought it would be. Such a story -- weird/initiation.
"First Date" -- That ending got me. A lot. It's a one-in-a-lifetime experience. I will never feel something like that moment when I read the final few sentences ever again. Unless ... (It's not worth it! they'll say. But they don't understand.) Rating is a spoiler, so please don't click it; you'll regret everything ...
"Teenage Death Song" -- That title. Instant TeenageDeath/song.
"Lost Gator" -- One of the most relatable pieces ever penned. Every sentence, you'll look towards the heavens and ask, "How does Jeff (Strand) know so much about me?" eyes watering from the idea that you're not alone. And you're never alone, 'cause the reason Jeff Strand knows so much about you is, he's always watching. Always. Gator/Fluffy.
"Insufficiently Splattery" -- It's never the same, right? Like, don't get your hopes up: The movies lie. Feeling? Disappointment/reality.
"Mummy's Bite" -- I see no flaw in that logic. I mean, everything else does it, so why the hell not. Skeletons. Bones. Is that mummy still out there? Turn/bite. (I gave up trying to be creative with how I introduce these ratings ... )
"My Favorite Halloween Memory" -- What is the least favourite???? I need to know. AntiTorture/stance.
"Ghetto Blaster" -- Oh my God, I do not like people who blast music in public. I also don't like people who give you cursed objects, but I can excuse that in this story. Anyway, MC's a guy called Clyde, and he gets a hold of a strange speaker. Froth/ears.
"Another Santa Story" -- Santa's a bit crazy. But those kids ... Those kids ... THOSE KIDS ... Those/kids.
"The Well" -- Sacrifices. Weird things. The part with the baby made me laugh a lot. But this story has left me thinking: Should they? I might never know. I might ask Jeff Strand, as he stands outside my window when I sleep. I will sleep-ask him. Well/sacrifice.
"The Body Hidin' Spot" -- This is what happens, people, when you kill some guy: Bodies must be hid. Lie/ButDadSaw.
"Y2K Feast" -- Is this cannibalism? Yes. Okay, well, we're just considering the idea, right? Right? NewYear/Cannibalism.
"Mac & Millie" -- Two weirdo meet each other. They're a bit strange. This one is a joint story with Bridget Nelson. Great story. Is Mac a misogynist? Nope! He just hates women. Well, some women. Most women? I'm not sure, but not all women, that's for sure.
"Story Notes" -- I love story notes. They're one of the best parts of short story collections. Story/notes.
And that's my review.
READ THE BOOK NOW.
Anyway, this is probably one of the worst review's I've ever written <3 :D
Anyway, here's a short review of every short story:
"Introduction" -- This one was interesting, I must say. I was introduced to the author, Jeff Strand, and learned a couple things, too. That was nice. Great introduction. I give this ... introduction/foreword.
"Body Swap" -- A body swap. (I know, shocker.) A fun body swap. (I know, it's Jeff Strand.) Just amazing body swap and the insanity that it causes, I think. Rating? Peterson/Clay.
"Rope and Limb" -- I forgot this one at first. No, not because it was a bad story (because it isn't (I think that's how it's phrased)), but because I have a bad memory. This is a story on why we need to invest in town execution contraptions. They're all the rage these days; the kids love them. But I must say, the bank teller is the real villain. A stick/eye story.
"Torture Porn For Prudes" -- Converse with your torture-er. It's amazing, that I can tell you. His mother's kinda mean, though. Rating: ding-dong/genitalia.
"Pink Passion" -- Strangers. Saloons. Drinks. Gravelly voices. (Plot twist at end.) Pink/passion.
"Ghosts of Candies Past" -- What the heck! Living candy monsters? Generation divide, or whatever that's called? Yes and yes! Old/new, is this story's rating.
"Turn Me" -- Two guys want to be bitten by a rather inconsiderate vampire. A funny story. Features some moments that will make you think. Yes, think! You will consider everything in your life, because this is just one of those stories! Bite/vampire.
"Avert Thine Eyes" -- I did not avert thine eyes whilst reading this tale of madness and cosmic horror. But now maybe I'll go mad. I shouldn't have let my eyes wander to take in its, like, twenty tentacles. Ahhhh. I hope I don't go mad so I can finish writing this review. Eyes/averted.
"Devil-Powered Death Train of Doom" -- First off, amazing title. It really pulls you in, you know? Second off, amazing concept. You just can't stop thinking about it, you know? Third off, I would read a full novel about this. The places it could go, you know? Lastly, the verdict: HotDogBob/splattered.
"Dumb Truck" -- Those pesky neighbours and wishes and the whatnot. Monster/truck.
"Next Best Baker" -- This might be my favourite of the collection. Two strange ingredients in a strange baking show. Best baker? Next Best Baker. (?????) You must laugh. (At the story, because it's trying to make you laugh.) AMAZING: Vincent/Gunther.
"Cherry Tree" -- Why you shouldn't eat cherry seeds, kids. Which one was the true story? Grade: cherry/stomach.
"Mouthy" -- You DO have a mouth-monster to kill! Go do it. Stop/distracting.
"All I Want For Christmas Is Your Two Front Teeth" -- Me too. Me too ... I mean, who doesn't? Guy's got a good sense of humour. And a great commitment, too. Agree/Santa.
"Hold Your Breath" -- Holding ... Oh, this is more difficult than I thought it would be. Such a story -- weird/initiation.
"First Date" -- That ending got me. A lot. It's a one-in-a-lifetime experience. I will never feel something like that moment when I read the final few sentences ever again. Unless ... (It's not worth it! they'll say. But they don't understand.) Rating is a spoiler, so please don't click it; you'll regret everything ...
"Teenage Death Song" -- That title. Instant TeenageDeath/song.
"Lost Gator" -- One of the most relatable pieces ever penned. Every sentence, you'll look towards the heavens and ask, "How does Jeff (Strand) know so much about me?" eyes watering from the idea that you're not alone. And you're never alone, 'cause the reason Jeff Strand knows so much about you is, he's always watching. Always. Gator/Fluffy.
"Insufficiently Splattery" -- It's never the same, right? Like, don't get your hopes up: The movies lie. Feeling? Disappointment/reality.
"Mummy's Bite" -- I see no flaw in that logic. I mean, everything else does it, so why the hell not. Skeletons. Bones. Is that mummy still out there? Turn/bite. (I gave up trying to be creative with how I introduce these ratings ... )
"My Favorite Halloween Memory" -- What is the least favourite???? I need to know. AntiTorture/stance.
"Ghetto Blaster" -- Oh my God, I do not like people who blast music in public. I also don't like people who give you cursed objects, but I can excuse that in this story. Anyway, MC's a guy called Clyde, and he gets a hold of a strange speaker. Froth/ears.
"Another Santa Story" -- Santa's a bit crazy. But those kids ... Those kids ... THOSE KIDS ... Those/kids.
"The Well" -- Sacrifices. Weird things. The part with the baby made me laugh a lot. But this story has left me thinking: Should they? I might never know. I might ask Jeff Strand, as he stands outside my window when I sleep. I will sleep-ask him. Well/sacrifice.
"The Body Hidin' Spot" -- This is what happens, people, when you kill some guy: Bodies must be hid. Lie/ButDadSaw.
"Y2K Feast" -- Is this cannibalism? Yes. Okay, well, we're just considering the idea, right? Right? NewYear/Cannibalism.
"Mac & Millie" -- Two weirdo meet each other. They're a bit strange. This one is a joint story with Bridget Nelson. Great story. Is Mac a misogynist? Nope! He just hates women. Well, some women. Most women? I'm not sure, but not all women, that's for sure.
"Story Notes" -- I love story notes. They're one of the best parts of short story collections. Story/notes.
And that's my review.
READ THE BOOK NOW.
Anyway, this is probably one of the worst review's I've ever written <3 :D
January 15, 2025
A fun collection of short stories by Jeff wherein his humorous writing style goes all in with the grotesque. Not my typical type of read. But Mac and Millie was one I had heard Jeff & Bridgett do a short reading on at an event -- not the whole story, just enough of it to make me want to read it. It was indeed grotesque -- as much truth in advertising as you can get -- and, well, it even comes with a warning on the back cover ... There's even the depraved "Mac and Mille," which you should definietely not read.
Enter at your own risk. And beware dating apps.
Enter at your own risk. And beware dating apps.
December 2, 2024
Never one to come up short in the mini-story department, Jeff Strand delivers in spades in his latest collection of short stories, Snuggling the Grotesque. Anyone who subscribes to his newsletter will be familiar with his ability to write a short story based on anything, but I’d call those shortER stories, or maybe micro-stories. This collection contains 26 of what you and I would refer to as short stories as only Strand can do with his unholy alliance of horror, thriller, and slapstick comedy.
I’m not a big fan of short stories, hence my 4-star rating. It has to be at least a novella to get 5 stars out of me. The fact I’m even reading a collection of short stories from someone shows you how much in high regard I hold this author.
Ranging from body swapping to chocolate gone evil; trying to get a vampire to bite you to being bit by a mummy; ghetto blasters to fearing the Y2Kbug. Just the grand finale of Mac and Millie, a collaboration between Strand and Bridgett Nelson, is worth the price of admission. There’s something here for everyone.
I’m not a big fan of short stories, hence my 4-star rating. It has to be at least a novella to get 5 stars out of me. The fact I’m even reading a collection of short stories from someone shows you how much in high regard I hold this author.
Ranging from body swapping to chocolate gone evil; trying to get a vampire to bite you to being bit by a mummy; ghetto blasters to fearing the Y2Kbug. Just the grand finale of Mac and Millie, a collaboration between Strand and Bridgett Nelson, is worth the price of admission. There’s something here for everyone.
September 20, 2024
What's going on inside the mind of Jeff Strand?
Grotesque is the perfect word to describe this book. I was absolutely hooked until the last page. This book has the perfect amount of gore and humor. There were many times where I felt sick for laughing. I love the mind of Jeff Strand.
Grotesque is the perfect word to describe this book. I was absolutely hooked until the last page. This book has the perfect amount of gore and humor. There were many times where I felt sick for laughing. I love the mind of Jeff Strand.
October 9, 2024
Jeff Strand is the perfect mix of horror, funny, and horribly funny. I haven’t laughed as hard at the printed word in years as I did at one of the collected tales (no spoilers). Beautifully Bizarro, guaranteed to catch you by surprise, if Strand wasn’t already a legend the status would be guaranteed.
February 14, 2025
This is a great collection of horror comedy stories that strikes a perfect balance between humor and gore. The collection features over twenty short stories, with each story being short enough to be read in a few minutes. I'll definitely be adding Strand to my list of favorite authors.
September 2, 2024
Another great collection of funny stories. The last story was a bit too much for me tho.
November 23, 2024
Funny and gross! Another banger from Mr Strand
5 stars for making me laugh in bed lol
5 stars for making me laugh in bed lol
January 10, 2025
Pedestrian, at best. Pas son meilleur effort.
February 7, 2025
This was a fun collection of short stories. I laughed a lot.
August 21, 2025
What a great book. The stories are scary but not overly scary. Some of the stories had me laughing. If you want a quick read that has scary spots and humor this is the book for you
August 30, 2025
I do believe this was my favorite collection of short stories EVER. I immediately knew I was gonna giggle and love them all as soon as I read the first one, Body Swap (personal favorite)
April 28, 2025
Lots of creepy short stories.
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