Rock Hard Alien

Alien Solar Warriors #1

by January Bell

No one expects to be abducted by aliens. I didn't expect to fall for the huge alien warrior who rescues me, either.

I just wanted to check on my grandma’s chickens. Next thing I know, I’m being abducted by aliens and thrown in a cell with a huge, muscled alien who’s twice my size. Apparently, he wouldn’t let me go, and he doesn’t intend to any time soon.

Thanks to the fact we can’t communicate, I don’t know if he’s decided he’s my own personal body guard or if he’s clinging to me for some… other rock hard reason.

I’ve watched enough true crime shows in my life to know we do not want to let our captors take us to another location.

Working to escape together feels right. It’s easy—even if I can’t understand a word he says. When we crashland on an inhospitable planet, I have to depend on him to survive.

It’s not all bad, though… I’m finding ways of communicating with my big alien that are much more fun than talking.

Genres: Romance, Aliens, Science Fiction, Science Fiction Romance, Novella, Space, Fantasy

106 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 19, 2024

About the author

January Bell writes steamy sci-fi and fantasy romance with a guaranteed happily ever after. Combining pure escapism, a little adventure, and a whole lotta love makes for romance that's a world apart. For the latest updates, follow her on Instagram and Twitter and subscribe to her newsletter for exclusive content. Is there a character you would like to see featured in a future novel or novella? Don't be shy! She'd love to hear from you.

Reviews

[Barbarzynka · Rating 2 out of 5]

meh, można odpuścić 😂

[Poppy || Monster Lover · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️
I am a fan of the comedy in this book. Maggie was a sarcastic girlie dealing with abduction and an alien that insists she’s his the way all sarcastic girlies would. Of course, Mr Arkan doesn’t get sarcasm, so it mostly her being funny for her own self. Arkan was confident, a little obsessive, and playful when given the space for it. Their fast burn story was cute and intense.

Spice: 3/5

Triggers: violence, murder, gore, poisoning, emesis, abduction and beginning stages of trafficking (plan to sell her), captivity, forced nudity, crash, risk of drowning, hypothermia, mentions of torture, discussion of being social outcast, mentions of sick grandmother

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You saved me first.... Then I saved you. Then I saved you again. Now we must save each other. We are bound in this life. By evading death.”

4.25 stars

This was such a fun and steamy introduction to January Bell's new series! January is such a master at creating immersive worlds that are easy to lose yourself in. She is also the queen of writing smutty alien humor, and she always succeeds in making me laugh and swoon equally. I loved this small taste of what's to come, and I cannot wait for this new series as the Solar Warriors rescue their mates🖤

Tropes: fated mates, forced proximity, obsessed hero, alien abduction, he falls first, 'touch her and die' vibes, language barrier, hurt/comfort, monster romance, tail play, band of brothers, steamy🔥

*ARC provided by the author, and I voluntarily reviewed it*

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious, fun, silly… I loved it

[Hazel Gower · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved

I devoured this book. It’s an amazing short story. I can’t wait for more in the series. I wished it was longer, only because it’s so good.

[Cassandra]

Tickled my funny bone

I don't know if it was the time of day, Pluto being in retrograde or perhaps it was the fact I was in desperate need of a palate cleanser and this book showed up in my recommendations list just in the nick of time...I really, really enjoyed the heck out of this book.

I cannot wait to read the rest of the series with the pretty, glowy power ranger-esque aliens. I also wouldn't mind a longer book featuring this particular couple again, they were hysterical. I also really hope that they haven't forgotten their noble and protective attack beast at the end there due to all the distractions ;)

For making me chuckle non-stop, I am giving all the stars tonight. 5/5

[Ivy Deluca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quickish Review

January Bell had quickly moved up the list of fave SFR authors and this little treat sets up a new ‘verse with her trademark heart and humor in a way that I’m definitely picking up the next one.

[TaylorReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and sweet. I like the set up for future novellas of the other males in the squad.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well that was an abrupt ending but I was enjoying it otherwise. If you love a himbo this book is for you

[Helena · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was great! Maggie is hilarious and Arkan is funny and sweet. The smut was hot and the only thing is that I wished it was longer / more spaced out. Def read if you love a good smexy alien romp.

[Tia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect!

This was short, sweet, sexy, and so fun! I am so excited to see what comes next for the rest of the Solar warriors!

[Jayelle Ravenshade · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to January Bell for providing me a copy of this book. Here's my review...

Maybe about a year ago or so I ended up on an ARC team for a book called Of Sword & Silver. A romantasy. I loved it. It was cute, solid fantasy and a dash of romance. I can do romance as long as it isn't the only plot line AND it has to be with fae or elves or something (or apparently aliens). I'm not interested in romance between humans. Don't ask me to explain it because I can't.

Anyway, I ended up staying on January's ARC team and now I get all this really weird sh!t sent to me. I say this lovingly and affectionately because while I normally would not read a book called Rock Hard Alien, I enjoy January's writing. I've read a few of her other alien romance novels and recently finished and reviewed How to Tame a Trickster Fae and keep coming back for more.

I appreciate the characters, they're likable and the male alien has some morals. It's not an enemy to lovers necessarily. The main characters Arkan (alien) and Maggie (human) are brought together in unusual circumstances and they don't speak the same language so they have to navigate troublesome communication.

I appreciate the humor that January interjects throughout the book and I would say it's on the edge, if not, slightly nerdy humor. Which, as someone who is also nerdy, I appreciate.

The only downside for me here is that the book ends a little abruptly and I would have liked a few more chapters to wrap it up. But, its a quick fun read and if you like alien smut... then here you go. 👽

Overall rating: 🌮🌮🌮🌮

Spice rating 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

[Nevena · Rating 5 out of 5]

🔥 “You were made for me.”
~~~
Maggie is awesome! She’s kind, caring and compassionate. And, even more, she’s quite feisty and courageous. And her inner monologues are just hilarious. Maggie is so great and I loved her so much!

Arkan is a huge and fearsome Zerinian warrior. He’s strong, dangerous and resourceful. Even more, he’s fiercely protective, honorable, irresistibly charming and quite naughty. Arkan is a spectacular male and I adored everything about him!

I absolutely loved everything that happened between Maggie and Arkan! When Maggie goes to check on her grandma’s chickens, the last thing she expects is to find an alien there. Moreover, he’s not alone and now they are both taken back in space. I loved Maggie and Arkan together! Their chemistry was fantastic right from the start and their banters were so much fun. Even more, the language barrier and the cultural differences lead to some hilarious moments. I truly had so much fun with those two! And when they couldn’t resist the undeniable need for one another, the passionate moments they shared were so hot! Oh, these Zerinians come with quite the… features! Maggie and Arkan were so perfect for each other and I couldn’t get enough of them!

In addition, the storyline and worldbuilding were fantastic! I cannot wait to learn more about the Zerinian solar warriors in the next stories and how they will deal with the challenges ahead. But also - KEN! Yes, he’s just Ken, but this battle gangsta goose is absolutely 10 out of 10!

Overall, the story is a quick, fun, naughty and action-packed read and a wonderful start of the series!

I loved it and cannot wait to see what happens next!

[Tiffiny Zurcher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, but ends a little too abruptly

I liked the book and the characters. There is a lot of humor and I did actually laugh out loud more than once. The MFC Maggie's inner monologue cracked me up, but as another review mentioned, there was maybe just a little bit too many country sayings used as dialogue. I liked that there actually was a language barrier and that it wasn't immediately fixed by an easy "inject translator" trope most alien/human stories rely on. Another review mentioned that as the language barrier was being addressed everything Maggie said was misunderstood. That did get a bit much, but it also made for some really funny dialogue and situations. For me that part was more of an issue because the way things were written it seemed like the inference was once the translation device was done the MMC Arkan would understand all Maggie's earth idioms. It was a cute fun read, that had some really funny and unexpected interactions. It's 4 out of 5 because of the really abrupt way it ended. And there was a character interaction at the end that I was looking forward to that didn't happen. Small spoiler - I was looking forward to the interaction between the rescuers and Ken the goose and Arkan introducing them and poor Ken was completely ignored during the ending.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ken the battle goose! A mighty warrior indeed.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Theme/Trope: Abduction, Rescued, Forced Proximity
Pace: Medium-burn
Setting: A galaxy far far away
Characters: Aliens
Relationship: M/F
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

If the characters entertain me and my side is in stitches from laughing so much It’s a guaranteed 5-start read. This was a fun book where Arkan crashes into Maggie's life on Earth. In her attempt to assist him, they both end up captured and thrown in a cell on a spaceship. Arkan, Maggie, and her battle goose Ken seize the day when the opportunity to escape arises, and hilarity ensues.

This book is SHORT so it leaves the reader with many questions about the world we are being introduced to. I’ll give the author a pass because this is the start of a new series (I think? I actually can’t find any details online). The only thing I didn’t like was how overly southern Maggie’s jargon was, it seemed like every possible southern slang was jammed into 100 pages.

I’ll come back for Ken alone.

[Jennifer Clarke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven't wanted to admit it to myself, but I have been in a serious reading slump lately. So reading this was a breath of fresh air for me. It was quick, fun, and spicy, with a little bit of action and humor. I loved Maggie's sarcasm and the miscommunication between her and Arkan. And Ken!! Such an adorable, grumpy goose. This is my third January Bell book I've read and I love how she always seems to include the best animal companions that are scene stealers.

I think this is my first alien romance I've read too. After reading Of Sword & Silver and How to Tame a Trickster Fae, I fell in love with the author's writing style and storytelling ability. I decided to adventure out a little bit and I was amazed! I feel like a whole new world has been opened up to me (lol) and I'm so excited to read future books in this series.

Thank you to the author for allowing me to read this ARC. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rock Hard Alien

This is a light hearted and silly, short romance that I snickered all the way through. It has the language barrier trope going on for much of it and plenty of foolishness once they do understand each other around human sayings and clichés.

One thing I found thoughtful is the change that happens once they can understand each other.

““You are naked,” I tell him. It seems utterly obscene now. It’s one thing to be naked and afraid and unable to communicate, but it’s entirely different now that I can talk to him.”

Up until that point they have been naked prisoners trapped together but once they have verbal communication, she becomes a lot more self conscious about being naked in front of him. Of course, it makes automatic sense in my reader's mind, but why? Why does language make us, what, feel more vulnerable about our bodies? Like we suddenly need to put on armor (clothes) to protect us from words. Interesting.

[Moonburst · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maggie is abducted by aliens when she goes to investigate a disturbance around her grandmother’s chicken coop. She finds herself poisoned and kept in close contact with a large, horned alien that glows blue. But neither of them can communicate with one another. As the alien, Arkan, uses Maggie to make an escape, chaos ensues.

Rock Hard Alien is a flawless, fun alien romance novella full of humorous dialog and classic miscommunication. Maggie is the perfect combination of overwhelmed and optimistic. Arkan is confident, competent, yet utterly bewildered by Maggie.The two make for a zany and spicy combination. The novella is an absolute thrill of a ride, and I can’t wait for the rest of the series.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rock Hard Alien is a quick, laugh out loud read that I could not put down! Our heroine Maggie finds herself abducted from her grandmother’s farm right along with a handsome blue alien when he is recaptured by another group of aliens, the Kryger. However, geese are not to be underestimated!
Maggie’s internal dialogue and one sided conversations are absolutely hilarious and were full of sayings that I have never heard of before. We also have quite a few gaps in Arkan’s understanding of what she’s talking about due to language differences that are really funny! And who could turn down a handsome, protective male who is completely into all of you?
A great, light-hearted story, but I am left wondering as what happened to Ken while they were waiting for Arkan’s team to rescue them 🥺
I received a copy of this book from the author and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Caligirlkrys · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novella is a prequel to a brand new series! Maggie is a spit fire woman who gets abducted while saving an injured alien and protecting herself. She ends up in captivity with the alien she tried to defend and they soon discover an undeniable attraction. This fast paced story is full of tropes I love: language barrier, forced proximity and one bed to name a few. I absolutely love Ken the goose too! Lots of chemistry between Arkan and Maggie and things quickly heat up. Arkan has some of my favorite alien features and is equipped with special equipment sure to please Maggie. The spice in the book gets a big thumbs up from me. This is a great introduction to a brand new series and we even get a brief meeting of Arkan’s friends who are likely MMCs in the upcoming books. If you are looking for a quick and spicy alien romance story you won’t be disappointed.

[bexbooklover · Rating 5 out of 5]

Going into this book I was prepared for a smutty alien romance and it definitely gave that but I was not prepared for her much humor this book had. I loved every second of it!

Maggie is a sarcastic girl through and through and I am here for it! Arkan insists that Maggie is his. That she is his mate and she does not take those lying down. She's throwing sarcasm at him left and right. Even though he does not really understand it, he just finds her delightful.

The banter that the two of them have is absolutely hilarious and even though it's such a short book, you really feel the true connection that the two of them have.

If you're looking for a short, fun hilarious book 10 out of 10, recommend picking this one up.

Thank you so much to January Bell for an arc copy of this book. I loved every second of it!

[Racheal · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐'s

This was such a fast and fun story, perfect for an in-between read! I absolutely loved the humor in his book. While there is some language barrier in the beginning, I loved how once they could mostly understand each other, Maggie's earth idioms went right over Arkan's head. I also love that Ken the goose made it along for the journey!
I mainly docked half a star for how abruptly it ended. I would have liked to see something that eluded to all of them boarding the ship to go after the human females (like taking off?) or just in general, something that wrapped this up a little more than how it ended. That said, I absolutely loved this novella start to finish and wouldn't change anything else about it!

[Carmen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Totally Hilarious

When life is kicking you in the tail feathers this is exactly the kind of escape you need! Maggie and Arkan were adorable and comically entertaining. I don’t think I’ve laughed so much in the last three months. Maggie was abducted from Earth along with her pet goose after she finds the injured alien Arkan behind her chicken coop. When she shoots one of his capturers, she is surprised by another and they are both taken aboard a prison ship. That starts their crazy adventure as they overcome their capturers, crash land on an alien planet and finally get the steam boiling. The characters, cultural misunderstandings and the dialogue kept me in stitches. I loved it,

[Indie · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved it !! a great start for a new series !! love Maggie and Arken... just love Ken the Goose !!! oh, my... this is their adventure love story... a fast paced action packed drama... Arken has escaped the slavers onto a backward dirt planet and yes, he his hiding behind a chicken coop... Maggie has come home to help her grandmother.. she goes out to check on the chickens.. it had better not be a fox riling them up... she so doesn't expect to see one alien much less two... she shoots the bad one then, gets abducted with the other one... with Ken the Goose.. onto a prison/slave ship... this is the start of their adventure... oh, and they can't communicate yet... so good !!! can't wait for the next one !!!

received this on an ARC, this is my honest review !! loved it !!!

[meevreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was hilarious omg, I loved it!! You've got language barrier, questionable alien customs, and realizing how ridiculous human idioms sound when looking at them through an alien perspective 😅 Oh and how can I forget Ken, the murderous goose warrior! Yes, you read that right.

This book was a perfect palate cleanser. Maggie and Arkan were both a little unhinged in the best way but being abducted, escaping hostile aliens, and crash landing their ship on another planet, brought them together.

This book is short, fast-paced, and action packed, with a side of spice. Perfect if you enjoy!

✨Abduction
✨Forced proximity
✨Care taking
✨Touch her and 💀
✨Special alien anatomy 👀
✨Interspecies miscommunication
✨Animal sidekick

*I received an early copy of this book to review*

[Between pages · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Arkan calls Maggie his “little hope,” I melted. Seriously, how cute is that? Sure, their language barrier is a bit of a mess, but it’s actually super fun. January Bell loves to throw around metaphors. They’re a bit wild, but they keep the story playfully visual, showing Maggie and Arkan's points of view.

There's action, of course, but don’t expect this romance to move quickly. It’s a slow burn, which makes the steamy, naughty moments even better when they finally happen. 😉🤭

And let me tell you about Arkan’s brothers... oh my god. These guys need their own books. I just know they’re going to get into some crazy romances of their own. I’m already waiting for the next story!

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun novella length introduction to a new series. The story is captivating and full of humor.

Maggie finds an alien male behind her grandmother’s chicken coop and saves his life from other aliens trying to recapture him. She wakes up on a spaceship with the alien male and her grandmother’s goose, Ken. Challenges communicating, weird translations, continued danger and waiting for rescue keep this storyline interesting.

I’m eager to read more in this intriguing new series.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Cynthia Eckert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not sure how I feel about this story

I guess overall the story was fine. I didn’t like Maggie, although it’s hard to say exactly why. She had some vocabulary that was cutesy and then got very frustrating. The language barrier was entertaining and then it got old, “everything was lost in translation.”
I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first book I’ve read by January Bell, so I’ll try reading the second story to see how I feel about the characters. But overall, I could take or leave this one and I almost didn’t finish it.

[Klutzy Traveler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This new series starter is full of adventure, new aliens, lots of humor, a crazy goose, and serious spice! I love it!! I always enjoy a story by January Bell, and this new series has all the elements I have come to expect and love. The world building is creative and well developed. The alien characters are interesting and have fun enhancements. Her heroines are always feisty and unafraid of a challenge. I can’t wait to see where she takes us next with these glowing hotties. I am looking forward to going along for the journey!

[Jai M {Cat Crazy Dragon } · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 - 4 ⭐️’s A perfect SFR, just needs more!

This was freaking awesome!!

I only have a couple issues. There’s a couple of grammar errors, and it ended too abruptly.
I was having so much fun, was truly absorbed and caught in the story, and then suddenly…it stopped. Huh?

I can’t wait for the next book, but hope it gives more for this couple, the story isn’t finished!

I so love this author, her humour, her imagination, her stories, characters, and overall plot!

I fully recommend this for any SFR fans.