Ten Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child's Mental Health

by Billy Garvey (Author/Narrator)

Listening Length 4 hours and 52 minutes

Children of all ages are grappling with anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and behavioural issues, and it can take years to see an expert who can help them.

Dr Billy Garvey is a senior specialist at one of the world's biggest and most prestigious paediatric hospitals. With over twenty years' experience working with families, he wants to reassure parents that there is no such thing as a bad child and that much of what he tells families in clinic is based on the same principles he outlines in this book.

Regardless of whether you have a young child or a teen on the brink of adulthood, by understanding the foundations of good mental health, you will be able to help them to thrive at any stage in their development.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Psychology, Mental Health, Self Help, Family

5 pages, Audible Audio

First published July 9, 2024

Reviews

[Jonathan O'Neill · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️

A helpful reminder of the need to be, constantly, a safe sanctuary for one's children and a source of unconditional love, support and empathy. An emotionally affecting read at times, taking us through mental and behavioural challenges of children from infants through to teens and ways in which we can cooperatively regulate feelings and assist them in becoming adept in self-regulation and social interactions as they grow older. The good doctor also addresses the importance of a healthy level of self-esteem and feeling of success in growing children, as this bolsters confidence and gives them a positive outlook of the possibilities in their future. Amongst all this, the mental health of the parent should never be neglected.
Narrated with a vulnerability that demonstrates Dr.Garvey's emotional erudition and genuine care and empathy for his clients and children in general.
A small amount of repetition in Chapter 9 of concepts addressed in earlier chapters but I appreciated the reinforcement and expansion of ideas.

[Suz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Parents today are extremely lucky with excellent and varied resources. The availability when I was raising my three under three were simply not there, I’d have been very receptive to listen to books such as this, in the background of my busy life. The author thanks many people in his acknowledgements, including Dr Bruce Perry, whose book co-authored with Oprah Winfrey I have recently completed, and loved. This made me wonder how many children would be lucky to cross paths in clinics of these doctors.

The author knows what it’s like for families to struggle given his own upbringing, and those family units that he encounters he can relate to well given his own family history. He even lied about where he grew up in his first year of uni, to fit in with the more privileged students. His hard-working mum, who at times worked three jobs, was not happy about that at all.

Able to apply his own experience with mental health to not only understand his patients, but equally importantly, their parents doing their best to help their kids, often in perilous circumstances themselves. Parents need good mental health to best support their kids, which is addressed, not glossed over in this book.

What is comforting to know is the author is telling his story from what he has gleaned from helping his young clients, how they have improved, even flourished from their time spent together. He listens intently, this is obvious, a keen observer to assess individual needs combined with what the family unit is showing him in the clinic.

One of the opening comments was my favourite. The author is being interviewed for a fellowship to help parents best support guiding their children’s mental health development. One of the interviewers abruptly proposed that he disagreed with Dr Garvey’s belief that the way we raise our children impacts their mental health.

It was a ‘please explain’ moment. This is the part I love. The author’s summary statement after this goes on to say this book is an extended version of my answer of that question.

I’m glad this obnoxious sounding panelist posed the question, as many will learn from this book. Highly recommended to parents, prospective parents, educators, students, and anyone working in the social sciences.

I listened to this via the Libby app and my public library, which goes nicely as I do advocate for nonfiction books narrated by the author.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best parenting book I’ve read so far. Much of this is groundsd in things I already knew to be true from my work in education. But where Garvey really excels is in the packaging of this knowledge with meaningful, accessible, practical advice about things you can do in your own life. This advice is realistic as well as aspirational, and is framed with a humble and vulnerable acknowledgement that we won’t always get it right, and that it is ok when we don’t, because there’s always an opportunity to do something different next. A book I am sure to return to.

[Luke Agostino · Rating 5 out of 5]

There’s no such thing as a bad kid. The quicker we realise that, the quicker the world becomes a better place.

[Si · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took a while to warm up to the good doctor’s voice but his heartfelt insights quickly dispelled any reservations. Many aspects of this book were my family’s lived experience and so his aim to teach parents early on in their journey soothed a part of me that wishes I too had come to know earlier, so I could have made changes sooner.

Whilst being well read in this space, I still found lots of new insights and a deeper understanding of my son, as well as new words to put to areas of expanding knowledge.

Dr Garvey, beyond all your formal qualifications and accolades, you are clearly a powerful healer. On behalf of all the kids and families you have helped, and all those you will impact in the future, thank you. All those late nights are helping us all.

[currentlyreadingbynat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ten Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child’s Mental Health is such an easy-to-digest but powerful read. It covers the big issues like anxiety and depression alongside equally important topics such as sensitivity and attachment. I loved the analogy used for 'orchids'. I was finally able to put it into words with my son on how we are a tad different and that's ok.

I really liked all the real stories too. The ones included were eye-opening, and I feel like I took so much away from it. Mental health is number one for me and I will always prioritise it more than physical health, but I am really leaning into this as my duo begin growing and finding themselves in this hectic world. I can already tell that this is a book I’ll definitely be re-reading.

[Melinda Nankivell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve heard Dr Garvey on some parenting podcasts and I wish I could hire him to follow me around. Topics covered include the big ones like anxiety and depression but also other equally important issues such as sensitivity and attachment. This book is well worth a read and is a good precursor to more books on specific topics.

[Eleni · Rating 5 out of 5]

First 5/5 audiobook. Will be recommending this to everyone and definitely come back to it.

[Katie Thorn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a wonderful read! I listened to the audiobook but I already feel like I should buy the physical copy so I can refer back - the audio was great. Listening to this encouraged much reflection on my own approach to parenting and the type of relationship I want to have with my children. Billy provided many practical parenting tips and some great take away messages about strengthening relationships and supporting children’s mental health. I learnt so much and feel parents with children of any age could benefit from this.

[Emma Potter-Hay · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best parenting resource I have come across since becoming a parent. Listened to the audio book but purchased the physical copy when I was about halfway through so I could go back and highlight all my favourite parts. I know I’ll be returning back to this for years to come.

[Amy Seary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every parent must read this book. Dr Billy Garvey is doing the most important work possible for our children and all of the generations of children to come after them. Supporting parents to address our own mental health/illness so that we can then effectively guide our own children and support them to develop a healthy sense of themselves, mentally and emotionally.

[Cristina Micallef · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that all parents should read. Mental health is so so important, especially for our little ones. I feel like I’ve taken so much from this book, the real stories included are really eye opening and some of them nearly brought me to tears 🤍

[Loryn M · Rating 5 out of 5]

My only regret is that I didn’t listen/read this earlier. I found it so useful in having a baseline to help grow my child into a confident young girl. I will definitely re visit this in future as my child grows up.

[Sarah Pain · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an absolute must for anyone who has amazing little people in their lives.

[Jordan Gilbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

so good, so insightful, so important. mandatory reading if you want kids i say 👀

[Natalie J · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really no surprise that this book is great, one I will definitely keep coming back to to help with my practice

[Laura Hutchinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Looooooved this so much. Stories that will stay with me for a long time. And great reassurance that even though it is relentless and exhausting, parenting is important and our kids seeing us respond to them consistently does wonders for a healthy development. Thanks, Billy!

[Ashlea O’Shaughnessy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Up there with one of the best books I’ve ever read (or listened to). I’m in my new grad OT era and listening to this book reinforced my 4 years of study + everything I’ve learnt in the last 4 months. Absolutely a must read for all parents, to be parents and those who work with children. Has got me thinking - could this book be enough to make me redundant and have all my kiddos and their families educated about children’s mental health and all things OT 😉🥰

[Kelly Hillman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve followed Dr Billy Garvey for a while now through his parenting podcast, and I wondered whether the book was worth reading or if it would be just recycled stuff from the podcast. It’s got to be the best parenting book I’ve ever read! His approach is so achievable, non judgmental, and kind. There’s no such thing as a bad kid. He also holds teachers in such high regard which feels like a breath of fresh air when we mostly get told that we’re not doing enough! I’d recommend this to any parent out there whether you’re struggling or not!

[Emily Skinner · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although written by a paediatrician, it was almost totally based on his experience growing up and parenting his kids, and some clinical experience, but minimal evidence based backing. I didn’t like the way he used many examples of his children (aged 2.5 years and 10 months), like talking about how his 2 year old “struggles socially” and was at risk of being a push over because of her personality, and describing in detail his children’s strengths and flaws. I really felt for them, that this book will be hard for them to read when they’re older and know what was broadcasted to the world about them at such a young age.
The book included advice that I don’t think is sound, such as if your toddler is throwing Lego in a tantrum, sit next to them and throw Lego too to show that you empathise, turning it in to a fun new games of throwing all the Lego across the room.

2.5 stars

[Rambling Reviews · Rating 3 out of 5]

Repetitive, not offering anything new. I can see how it might be useful to someone who has never read a book on parenting before… made me think of it as the barefoot investor for parenting

[Naomi Lehmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best parenting books I've read. As a psychology student and mother to an anxious child a lot of this resonated well.

[Court · Rating 5 out of 5]

REVIEW FOR FUTURE ME WHEN I FORGET THAT I EVEN READ THIS BOOK:

If someone has kids, works with kids, knows kids, ever was a kid then tell them to READ THIS! You promise, this is the ONLY good - nay, PERFECTLY BRILLIANT - non-fiction book on Earth. READ IT READ IT READ IT. Made you proper cry in more chapters than it didn’t. The anecdotes and stories of hope, the teachings, the wisdom, the practicality. There is no such thing as a bad kid, and you’re feeling really blessed and emotional right now to have the privilege to be a part of the journey of other people’s children. It’s a responsibility that no one should take lightly or without constantly seeking out learning about the best way to play their role. Billy Garvey is your new hero. There is a new Bible.

The quote: “If you’re in the throes of trying to deal with challenging behaviour on an ongoing basis, it’s easy to forget that these are just kids, and not some sinister force waking up each morning with plans of misery and destruction… It is everyone in the community’s role to help change the trajectory of these kids, as all of us benefit from the outcomes of our doing so.”

[Rina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Children of all ages are grappling with anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and behavioural issues and it can take years to see an expert who can help them. With over twenty years' experience working with families, Dr Billy Garvey wants to reassure parents that there is no such thing as a bad child and that much of what he tells families in clinic is based on the same principles he outlines in this book.

I’m at that stage where I read every parenting tips books just to load up my parenting toolbox 😄. So of course I had to read this one when I came across it.

To be honest, there was nothing completely new I learned from this book. Some of the concepts were very similar to the Connected Parenting guideline I recently read. However, this book covered a wider, more high level topics that would be good as overall reminders. The fact that multiple experts suggested similar concepts also assured me that I was already on the right track.

This was a short, concise, easy-to-read book I’d recommend to all parents.

(Thanks to Libro.fm and Penguin Audio Australia for a gifted ALC in exchange for an honest review)

See my bookstagram review.

[Evelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this as an audiobook narrated by Garvey himself.

I loved that this book simply felt informative. so many "parenting" books can feel judgemental or make it feel like you've already ruined your child by doing 101 different things wrong. This really just felt like I was given information and a better insight into childrens behaviour, with a little encouragement to keep striving to do better sprinkled in. I have previously enjoyed episodes on the Pop Culture Parenting podcast, so I wasn't surprised that I enjoyed how Garvey put this piece together. My partner will be reading this and I've already recommended it to some friends.

[Chip Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, simple and written with an easy approachability, this is a book to give to parents of children of any age struggling with issues ranging from difficult toddler behaviour to anxiety and depression. It's refreshing to read someone with such obvious expertise (Garvey is a developmental paediatrician) adding a healthy dose of both sound evidence-based practice and a pragmatic, hands-on approach to the oversaturated (and sometimes evidence-free) parenting books genre.

Listened on Libby Audiobook.

[Sallie Watson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be required reading for educators.

None of the advice in this book is groundbreaking but its messages are underpinned by profound stories of people (kids, parents and Dr Billy himself) who have struggled and sent out a variety of “help” flairs. Dr Billy brings the reader into his headspace as he approaches each case from the starting point of “what do you like and what are you good at”. So many times listening to this book, I thought of students I’ve taught and wondered if they’d have fared better if the fundamental principles of this book had been remembered by those around them.

[Frances Lyngcoln · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me so much to clarify my role in supporting my kid’s emotional development, and was the catalyst to seeking professional support for my own mental health.
So well written, and beautifully empathetic in the way he writes about the children and families in his clinic.
Couldn’t recommend more.

[Tori Wheelcorks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a quick, easy and digestible read. As someone who has had a rough childhood themselves I want to make sure I’m breaking that cycle and this book was incredibly insightful. The afterword even had a point that has now stuck with me. Definitely recommend

[Georgia Madigan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love all of Dr Billy’s work!!