Almost every day, one of Amy Julia’s children says something or asks something that prompts her to think more “What ‘lasting’ mean?” William wonders when he hears a song about God being an everlasting God. "If the children who died went to heaven, then why are we sad?” Penny asks, when she passes by a funeral for a victim of the Sandy Hook shootings. "I don't wanna' get 'tized!" says Marilee about baptism. These conversations deepen her relationships with her children, but they also deepen and refine her own understanding of what she believes, why she believes it, and what she hopes to pass along to the next generation. Small Talk is a narrative based upon these conversations. It is not a parenting guide. It does not offer prescriptive lessons about how to talk with children. Rather, it tells stories based upon the questions and statements Amy Julia’s children have made about the things that make life good (such as love, kindness, beauty, laughter, and friendship), the things that make life hard (such as death, failure, and tragedy), and what we believe (such as prayer, God, and miracles). Amy Julia moves in rough chronological order through the basic questions her kids asked when they were very young to the more intellectual and spiritual questions of later childhood. Small Talk invites other parents into these same conversations, with their children, with God, and with themselves. Moving from humorous exchanges to profound questions to heart-wrenching moments, Amy Julia encourages parents to ask themselves―and to talk with their children about―what matters most.
Amy Julia Becker is the author of To Be Made Well: An Invitation to Wholeness, Healing, and Hope, which releases in March 2022. She is also the author of White Picket Fences: Turning toward Love in a World Divided by Privilege (2018), Small Talk: Learning From My Children About What Matters Most (2014), and A Good and Perfect Gift: Faith, Expectations and a Little Girl Named Penny (2011). A graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Theological Seminary, her essays about personal, social, and spiritual healing have appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, Christianity Today, and more. She is a big fan of frozen yogurt, her Ember mug, and hiking in the nearby woods with her family. Amy Julia lives with her husband and three children in western Connecticut.
A collection of thoughts gleaned from parenting which were inspiring, but pretty basic. The stories from her children were amusing and if I was a parent, I would probably appreciate it more.
This memoir-style book follows Amy Julia’s journey through several years of parenting two, then three, children, including one of whom has Down Syndrome. This series of stories encourages readers and highlights how we can see grace in the small moments of our lives.
“In the midst of snow days and sickness, in the midst of yelling and tears, grace enters in.” – p. 12, Small Talk
Amy Julia tells the story in present tense with some past tense reflections to draw readers in. She lets the reader know in the introduction that this is not a how-to book. She utilizes a lot of “I think” and “I wonder” and “I understand” sentences to show her own thought processes and conclusions on what she’s learning as she grows along with her children.
My favorite components of these stories are the family conversations. The dialogues between children (child-to-child and child-to-parent) are so realistic and so pure. Any parent can identify, and, as a parent of a child with multiple special needs, I especially relate to many of those conversations and specific fears. She doesn’t present herself as perfect, and these thoughtful stories help spur reflections of the reader’s own family and circumstances.
She covers holding on to certain things, letting go of others. Her children help her realize the importance of forgiveness, understanding, growth. She recounts stories of waiting, of tragedy, of community, of understanding dependence, of marriage. All while exploring God’s presence in all of it.
The reader won’t leave this book with all the answers, and the reader might not even agree with all of the author’s conclusions. But the book will allow readers to marvel in the insightfulness of children and the ability to reflect and grow, no matter one’s situation.
“…But the reminder of God’s promises quiets my soul. A gentle encouragement to trust. This Christian life of ours if messy and mysterious and beautiful. Like water, running down and spilling over.” – p. 219, Small Talk
Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher (through the BookLook bloggers program) in exchange for my honest review. I was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are my own.
Almost every day, one of Amy Julia's children says something or asks something that prompts her to think more carefully: What lasting mean? William wonders when he hears a song about God being an everlasting God. "If the children who died went to heaven, then why are we sad? Penny asks, when she passes by a funeral for a victim of the Sandy Hook shootings. "I don't wanna' get 'tized!" says Marilee about baptism. These conversations deepen her relationships with her children, but they also deepen and refine her own understanding of what she believes, why she believes it, and what she hopes to pass along to the next generation.
Small Talk is a narrative based upon these conversations. It is not a parenting guide. It does not offer prescriptive lessons about how to talk with children. Rather, it tells stories based upon the questions and statements Amy Julia s children have made about the things that make life good (such as love, kindness, beauty, laughter, and friendship), the things that make life hard (such as death, failure, and tragedy), and what we believe (such as prayer, God, and miracles).
About the Author:
AMY JULIA BECKERwrites about faith, family, and disability for Parents.com, theNew York TimesMotherlode blog, TheAtlantic.com,The Huffington Postparents page, and inChristianity Today,The Christian Century, and numerous other publications. Her first book,A Good and Perfect Gift: Faith, Expectations, and a Little Girl Named Penny, was named one of the "Top Ten Religion Books of 2011" byPublishers Weekly. Amy Julia lives in western Connecticut with her husband and three children.
My Review:
This book is a really good one to get as a parent especially if you never think about these things or your never have these type of conversations with your children. I know for my husband and I, we have shared these type of conversations with our children many times. And it is gripping sometimes. My son watched the movie 2012 and because of this movie it changed his perspective on the return of the Lord.
He was so scared every time he seen a crack in the road that this meant Jesus was about to return. And it caused him to search himself and know that he wasn't saved. As a result of many conversations relating to this he asked us to help him say the sinners prayer. He is saved today and has been baptized.
In our family, we really try to pay attention to these little conversations because no matter how trivial they may sound, they are thoughts that mean a lot to our children. And because of that it should mean the world to us. We could see that our son was deeply troubled by this so we tried to help him the best we could and after he asked Jesus to come into his heart, it never scared him again like it did when this all started.
As the author uses the conversations with her children and the things that she herself has learned along the way. I pause and reflect on my own "little" conversations with my children and it makes me smile. They are brought up in a home that causes them to look to God in every situation, good or bad. We tend to show them that we need to look for the lesson in each situation that God may be trying to teach. And as we all know if we look really hard, we can find it every time.
The chapter on waiting spoke volumes to me but as a "veteran" mother, I have come to realize some of these resolutes already. But out of the entire book, this was my favorite chapter. I think with time and growing older, I have learned to be more patient. But as we all know from time to time we still have a lot more to learn.
If you would like to learn more about this book, you can at this link.
**Disclosure** This book was sent to me free of charge for my honest review from the Z Blog Squad.
First book I have read by Amy but will look into others. Great title for the book. This book is full of just that small talk. You can pick up this book and read and put it down if you have to and come back to it. The book is divided up into small sections. excellent book for those raising a family. I loved all the conversations with the kids and their view on things. From Christmas and santa clause to dying and being in heaven. If only we had the faith of a child. I know I have thought to myself with my own kids saying things to me and thinking I never thought of it like that. I think as a adult I tend to think to much when if I thought as a child be so much simpler. I think we make it hard for ourselves. Liked how Amy wrote this with biblical backing. I think any parent would be bless reading this book. I know I really enjoyed it. It made me laugh and shed a few tears. Even if you don't have children right now at home, as a adult it can help also.
Reading “Small Talk: Learning From My Children About What Matters Most” by Amy Julia Becker was so good for my momma soul. With so many other things I could have been doing, I wanted to read her stories – the real-life, ordinary moments she shared with her kids that prompted her to gain eternal perspective.
Yes, she shared about her relationships with each other three children have become deeper by discussion life – and all the changes and people that come with it. But she also uses conversations and moments with her children to reflect on what God is doing around her.
I’ve long been a fan of memoirs, but “Small Talk” gave me a chance to pause in the middle of my own chaos and remember how God shows up among all those words my own kids speak. And I know it will do that for other people – regardless of how old their kids are or whether they have kids of their own.
What a heart-warming, faith-affirming, enchanting, delightful book on the wise words and exchanges between a mother and her child(ren). This book brings wonderful insights in every chapter what will make you breathe deeply and with satisfaction that the world is indeed a good place and that God is looking after all of us. We just need to listen and try our best with love, acceptance and forgiveness. Thank you Amy for sending me your book and thank you Sara for putting Amy in touch with me! I am grateful. This book is a gift in so many ways. I wish Amy much success with her book and any that are still in her pen now~
Being a mom is NOT easy. But we sure do learn a lot - if we listen! Especially to our kids - they teach us ALL the time!! Amy Julia Becker has a gift - the gift of taking the ordinary and sharing it with us, her readers, to encourage us to keep on trucking - as moms, as believers, as women. She encourages us to listen to our kids and let their words help us become better moms - to grow and be challenged even. I LOVED this easy-to-read book that make me smile and tear up - because being a mom is never easy - but ALWAYS rewarding - if we just look for that reward!
A quick read, this is a collection of essays on simple but powerful themes, with Christian theology interspersed throughout. I found it more difficult to relate to the religiosity underpinning the text, but loved the personal stories of the author’s family, and her children, and what they revealed about the universality of being a mother and raising kids.
As a parent, I've been astounded by how much I'm already learning from my 20-month old daughter. For that reason, when I saw Amy Julia Becker's book, Small Talk: Learning from my children about what matters most, I was intrigued.
Small Talk is a collection of essays about things Amy has learned from her kids about her faith. They can be read a few at a time or devoured all at once. They're profound and yet relatable. At various times throughout this book I found myself in tears – sometimes from laughter and sometimes from the emotions of Amy's words.
As I read Small Talk, I loved reflecting on the birth of my daughter as Amy shared her experience birthing babies and then compared that to spiritual birth. In her words, “Birth is only the beginning of a relationship that asks a lot of the parent and expects nothing but dependency from the child. Maybe dependency is all God asks of us.”
During a moment in history in which it seems like anyone who is the slightest bit different is being “othered”, I also greatly appreciated Amy's essay, Disability. In it, she reflects on her daughter's Down Syndrome, but also on the fact that we are – all of us – broken in some way or another. She then ties this to faith, saying, “Perhaps what is most remarkable about Jesus' posture toward individuals who we might call 'disabled' is that it is the same as his posture toward everyone else. He makes no distinction for people with disabilities. He sees brokenness. He treats every one of them, every one of us, with the dignity every child of God deserves.”
Having spent much of the last three years researching, writing, and speaking about Jesus, I also loved Amy's essay, Jesus, and her take on the particularity of Christ. “I started to wonder whether the particularity of Jesus was an invitation more than an offense, an unfathomable welcome to all the daughters and sons of the earth into the household of God.”
Throughout each essay in Small Talk, Amy's identity as a mom is evident. For this reason, mothers will find this book particularly enjoyable. They'll be able to see themselves in Amy's relationships with her family. I know I did. In fact, I felt like Amy was speaking directly to me when she said, “For a long time, I thought my children were a distraction from the work God was doing in my life and in the world around me. I am starting to realize they are the work God is doing in my life. They are the invitation to give, to receive, to be humbled, to grow. They are the vehicles of grace.”
But make no mistake. Amy's book is not just for mothers. It's also for those – including men – who are looking for a refreshing look at faith and at Scripture. Amy's exposition of Scripture is excellent and will help you shed new light on familiar stories, as it did for me in her exploration of the story of the landowner in Matthew 20. Amy concludes, “The people who were hired last thought of themselves as last. The unemployed. The unworthy. By paying them first, and by paying them with a recognition that they had been trying to work all day long, even if they hadn't actually been working, the landowner offers them a new self-understanding. Instead of seeing themselves as worthless, they can see themselves as valued – just as valued as the winners, the ones who got the job with the contract at the beginning of the day. Those who considered themselves last now perceive themselves as valuable, as first.”
It's this kind of perspective that Amy brings to every essay in Small Talk and that will help you, by the end of it, come to a greater understanding of who you are – as parents, professionals, and people of God.
Small Talk by Amy Julia Becker is a nonfiction book about Amy's experiences with her children and what she has learned from them. She shares candidly the questions and situations that arise with having two young children in the house with a third one the way. Not only do these conversations help her develop a closer relationship with her children but also causes her to think about her relationship with God and refine what she believes.
This book is such a breath of fresh air to read. She writes so honestly and shares from her real life. The ugly parts as well as the beautiful parts. I loved reading it. It was so encouraging and made me think more about changing how I look at the many, many questions my children ask and the many, many hard times that come having three small children. Amy really has a knack at bringing the deep things of God into the everyday of her life and this encouraged me to try to do the same with my life.
I highly recommend this book to any mother. It is a great quick read and very inspirational. This is one I will definitely go to again and again.
I received a free copy of this product from FlyBy Promotions in exchange for my honest review. I was not required to write a positive review nor was I compensated in any other way. All opinions I have expressed are my own or those of my family. I am disclosing this in accordance with the FTC Regulations.
As a parent to two children with Down syndrome, I was already a fan of Amy Julia Becker after reading her book A Good and Perfect Gift about her daughter Penny and her diagnosis of Down syndrome. When Small Talk came out, I wondered if I would like it as much because I heard it was more about parenting in general.
I LOVED it. The thread of Penny's continuing story is gently weaved throughout in a way that leaves readers of A Good and Perfect Gift satisfied with 'the rest of the story' that started with Penny's birth. But also, this book is so much more. Becker covers huge life topics through simple interactions with all three of her children in a way that will cause anyone who is a parent or who has a parent to pause, ponder, and grow. I found myself laughing out loud and crying unabashedly. I HIGHLY recommend this book. You need to read it.
This is a wonderful book. As a mother I can relate to the author and the small talk. As your kids get older, the small talk gets more in depth. Its in these moments that even as a parent you find new ways at looking at the problem/question. Loved the flow of this book and the sections it was broke into. This is definitely going to be a book I recommend to all my friends and will be on the lookout for more from the author.
I was given this book in exchange for an honest review via Netgalley.
I don't know why I was so surprised to like this book as much as I did. I'm not super sentimental, so maybe I went in thinking a mom reflecting on life and conversations with her young kids would make for an overly cutesy read... Well, it was great. Honest, interesting, real, amusing. Exploring the spiritual edge of the mundane, the wisdom of children's innocent foolishness. I had read some of the author's blog posts on Christianity Today, and found them to be thought-provoking. The book was too.
The book I'm going to try and get all my (xtian) mom friends to read. Amy Julia invites her readers into the holy, messy everyday, without pay answers, without making the rest of us feel like we don't measure up.
I loved this book! My favorite part about it is how each chapter was a different topic, and how the author now only captured what her kids said, found taught a lesson out of it. It was so fun to read. I especially loved Penny's prayers. I look forward to reading more of her books.
Excellent reflections and contextualization of children and the life of faith. Honest and forthright sharing about the challenges and small joys of raising children amid the harried life.