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Post-Romantic Stress Disorder: What to Do When the Honeymoon Is Over
John Bradshaw is arguably the most accomplished and well-known leader alive today in the addictions field. He taught us about functional and dysfunctional families, showed us how shame could become toxic and poisonous to our core selves, and helped us understand and heal the wounded, vulnerable "inner child" conceived by, and thriving in, that environment.
In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love. Based on his research, PRSD is a deeply serious psychological disorder and the cause of 40% of all divorces –divorces that could have been prevented . Every day people throw away perfectly good relationships because they just don't know how to navigate the tides, but if they could learn and understand the concepts Bradshaw presents in this book, the portrait of the family unit could have a whole new landscape.
Join this great teacher as he opens the gates to a new frontier, tackling issues that threaten and endanger so many modern relationships. Be encouraged as he leads the way to a deeper and more fulfilling spiritual union. As he so eruditely observed some time ago, "As the health of the marriage goes, so goes the health of the family." Yet Bradshaw ladles out hope unlimited?if parents could restore a deep, authentic love for each other it could be passed on to their children and families would actually flourish.
In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love. Based on his research, PRSD is a deeply serious psychological disorder and the cause of 40% of all divorces –divorces that could have been prevented . Every day people throw away perfectly good relationships because they just don't know how to navigate the tides, but if they could learn and understand the concepts Bradshaw presents in this book, the portrait of the family unit could have a whole new landscape.
Join this great teacher as he opens the gates to a new frontier, tackling issues that threaten and endanger so many modern relationships. Be encouraged as he leads the way to a deeper and more fulfilling spiritual union. As he so eruditely observed some time ago, "As the health of the marriage goes, so goes the health of the family." Yet Bradshaw ladles out hope unlimited?if parents could restore a deep, authentic love for each other it could be passed on to their children and families would actually flourish.
288 pages, Paperback
First published September 16, 2014
19 people are currently reading
404 people want to read
About the author
John Bradshaw
258 books366 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.
John Bradshaw has been called "America's leading personal growth expert." The author of five New York Times bestsellers, Bradshaw On: The Family, Healing the Shame That Binds You, Homecoming, Creating Love, and Family Secrets. He created and hosted four nationally broadcast PBS television series based on his best-selling books. John pioneered the concept of the "Inner Child" and brought the term "dysfunctional family" into the mainstream. He has touched and changed millions of lives through his books, television series, and his lectures and workshops around the country.
During the past twenty-five years he has worked as a counselor, theologian, management consultant, and public speaker, becoming one of the primary figures in the contemporary self-help movement.
John Bradshaw has been called "America's leading personal growth expert." The author of five New York Times bestsellers, Bradshaw On: The Family, Healing the Shame That Binds You, Homecoming, Creating Love, and Family Secrets. He created and hosted four nationally broadcast PBS television series based on his best-selling books. John pioneered the concept of the "Inner Child" and brought the term "dysfunctional family" into the mainstream. He has touched and changed millions of lives through his books, television series, and his lectures and workshops around the country.
During the past twenty-five years he has worked as a counselor, theologian, management consultant, and public speaker, becoming one of the primary figures in the contemporary self-help movement.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
November 5, 2014
I received this book from Goodreads First Reads in exchange for an honest review. I found this book to be brillant! The well-educated and very knowledgeable author is very dedicated to helping couples save their marriage, and often insists on them to finds way to save their relationship instead of just throwing it away. This book goes far beyond just tossing ideas around on how to spice up with love life. He starts from the bottom up, going over how we learned to love (and what our ideas of love might be) and how to turn around any negative viewpoints we might have. He talks about lust, attachment, new discoveries in an old marriage, the benefits of marriage after the honeymoon phase is over, and how to fall in love, the right way, all over again. This is a very beneficial book and highly recommend it!
October 2, 2017
I am a Psychology graduate and one of the reasons why I chose not to pursue a higher degree (Master's, Doctorate) in this field was because I could never reconcile the fact that Psychology is and will never be a proper "science". And that is because the subjects studied are humans, who vary too much from individual to individual to be studied in any scientific manner. Still, friends challenge me from time to time to read books on this subject and offer my opinion, which is why I picked up this title.
Firstly, some background: The author has counselled many couples suffering from what he terms "PRSD", and has himself been saddled with addiction problems in the past. The first half of the book contains mainly his personal case studies which are aplenty and all anecdotal, and are therefore quite meaningless, since we cannot hope to extrapolate any findings from one couple to another, given the multitude of differences that exist not just among couple to couple but from person to person and situation to situation. And we haven't even taken into account cultural differences.
(By the way, it may be worth noting that the author mentions that one couple he counselled ended up dead - the husband killed his wife before taking his own life; some others ended up divorced or separated. So much for a track record huh!)
The later chapters of this book attempt to break down the concept of romantic love into different stages, and present various frameworks and structures within which to contain them. While on the one hand it's laughable to try to fit everyone's experience of "love" into a cookie cutter mould with certain definite characteristics, I shan't blast this entirely because some people could perhaps do with a few "guidelines" because it would help explain what they are going through, though much caution is needed here because said guidelines need not necessarily be correct or accurate!
As for the author's proposed solutions to "PRSD" - all I will say is this: there are so many ways to rationalise behaviour. Psychologists are good at coming up with theories, and attempting to fit your personal experience into the theory they have proposed, in order to aid you in understanding what you have experienced, why you might have behaved in a certain way, and what you may do in the future to avoid an unpleasant or unsatisfactory outcome. There is no right or wrong answer. There is only what you believe. A good psychologist can make you believe you acted in a certain way because of a certain something, and resolving that certain something will stop you from acting that way again.
Is the author good at the above? Well, the frameworks he proposes do sound convincing, and to the PRSD sufferer they might offer an explanation of sorts and a light at the end of the tunnel. But if you ask me, the best way is still not to consult a self-help book, but to develop your own logical, analytical thinking skills (because everyone's situation is unique), and become more observant and self-aware so that you can truly see who or what the problem is and take measures that are relevant to you to rectify it. There is no cookie cutter solution to any life problem.
Firstly, some background: The author has counselled many couples suffering from what he terms "PRSD", and has himself been saddled with addiction problems in the past. The first half of the book contains mainly his personal case studies which are aplenty and all anecdotal, and are therefore quite meaningless, since we cannot hope to extrapolate any findings from one couple to another, given the multitude of differences that exist not just among couple to couple but from person to person and situation to situation. And we haven't even taken into account cultural differences.
(By the way, it may be worth noting that the author mentions that one couple he counselled ended up dead - the husband killed his wife before taking his own life; some others ended up divorced or separated. So much for a track record huh!)
The later chapters of this book attempt to break down the concept of romantic love into different stages, and present various frameworks and structures within which to contain them. While on the one hand it's laughable to try to fit everyone's experience of "love" into a cookie cutter mould with certain definite characteristics, I shan't blast this entirely because some people could perhaps do with a few "guidelines" because it would help explain what they are going through, though much caution is needed here because said guidelines need not necessarily be correct or accurate!
As for the author's proposed solutions to "PRSD" - all I will say is this: there are so many ways to rationalise behaviour. Psychologists are good at coming up with theories, and attempting to fit your personal experience into the theory they have proposed, in order to aid you in understanding what you have experienced, why you might have behaved in a certain way, and what you may do in the future to avoid an unpleasant or unsatisfactory outcome. There is no right or wrong answer. There is only what you believe. A good psychologist can make you believe you acted in a certain way because of a certain something, and resolving that certain something will stop you from acting that way again.
Is the author good at the above? Well, the frameworks he proposes do sound convincing, and to the PRSD sufferer they might offer an explanation of sorts and a light at the end of the tunnel. But if you ask me, the best way is still not to consult a self-help book, but to develop your own logical, analytical thinking skills (because everyone's situation is unique), and become more observant and self-aware so that you can truly see who or what the problem is and take measures that are relevant to you to rectify it. There is no cookie cutter solution to any life problem.
September 23, 2014
***ARC generously supplied by the publisher and Netgalley.com in exchange for an honest review***
To be succinct this book is necessity for those who are tired of going through the motions after another dysfunctional relationship/breakup. The moral of the story is to deal with your own baggage first and foremost, and after you’ve dealt with it, you can go out into the world and attract someone who has dealt with their stuff as well. And if you do manage to find someone who is an emotional train wreck waiting to happen, you’ll empowered not to “board that train.” By providing a clear cut, no nonsense manual with case histories and tips for better living, John Bradshaw has managed once again, to drag America’s dirty luggage out into the open, so that we can have a better of understanding of the Romantic notions that plague and sometimes threaten to destroy us. While reading this book, one can tell that Bradshaw is clearly an academic who is a therapist with real-life experience. With that being said, he’s not here to make you feel good, he’s here to offer you the choice of doing better, so that in the end, your love life will be stable and not one that appears to be ravaged by a barrel full of titanic monkeys on the loose.
If you’re expecting the down home humor of Dr. Phil, or even the Zen approach of Dr. Wayne Dyer, please keep in mind that you’re dealing with an Academic whose sole purpose is to get to the root of the matter, no matter how hurtful it may be to deal with. Overall it’s better to rip the emotional Band-Aid off now, and let the wound(s) heal, instead of being left to die as a lonely, bitter, pitiful person with nary an ounce of love for neither self nor others….
Giving this one: 4 solid stars…
To be succinct this book is necessity for those who are tired of going through the motions after another dysfunctional relationship/breakup. The moral of the story is to deal with your own baggage first and foremost, and after you’ve dealt with it, you can go out into the world and attract someone who has dealt with their stuff as well. And if you do manage to find someone who is an emotional train wreck waiting to happen, you’ll empowered not to “board that train.” By providing a clear cut, no nonsense manual with case histories and tips for better living, John Bradshaw has managed once again, to drag America’s dirty luggage out into the open, so that we can have a better of understanding of the Romantic notions that plague and sometimes threaten to destroy us. While reading this book, one can tell that Bradshaw is clearly an academic who is a therapist with real-life experience. With that being said, he’s not here to make you feel good, he’s here to offer you the choice of doing better, so that in the end, your love life will be stable and not one that appears to be ravaged by a barrel full of titanic monkeys on the loose.
If you’re expecting the down home humor of Dr. Phil, or even the Zen approach of Dr. Wayne Dyer, please keep in mind that you’re dealing with an Academic whose sole purpose is to get to the root of the matter, no matter how hurtful it may be to deal with. Overall it’s better to rip the emotional Band-Aid off now, and let the wound(s) heal, instead of being left to die as a lonely, bitter, pitiful person with nary an ounce of love for neither self nor others….
Giving this one: 4 solid stars…
August 8, 2019
The author writes this entire book like it is a big 250 long page worth of advertising all his other previously published book. When he’s not busy mentioning his other published works, he’s quoting the works of others within the counselling/psychology area, with chunks of sentences punctuated with repetitive mentions of other relevant books. Perhaps it is also the editor’s shortcoming on this one - had it been all cleaned up and saved for the “references” section, 3/4 of the book would have a been a more informative and more digestible read. Did I learn anything new from this book? Maybe a only thing or two. He does have some good ideas and methods presented in this book that the 2 stars for this review is for. Apart from that, one can’t help feeling this author is thoroughly absorbed in his own “glorified” achievements that he absolutely feels must be trumpeted over and over again across the length of this book.
June 28, 2023
A very painful read
My first exposure to self help types of books was through the “Marriage and Family Studies” department spun off from the Bible department at Abilene Christian University in the 1970’s. The goal was to help Christians couples at least marginally outperform the cultural divorce rate of 50%. Now here almost 50 years later the last book written by the great John Bradshaw has the same stated goal: to prevent divorces that don’t need to happen if the people involved are willing to learn and grow. I never stopped reading books or paying counselors and psychotherapists. In the end it seems to have been for nothing. Nothing to do but take a deep breath and try to keep functioning.
My first exposure to self help types of books was through the “Marriage and Family Studies” department spun off from the Bible department at Abilene Christian University in the 1970’s. The goal was to help Christians couples at least marginally outperform the cultural divorce rate of 50%. Now here almost 50 years later the last book written by the great John Bradshaw has the same stated goal: to prevent divorces that don’t need to happen if the people involved are willing to learn and grow. I never stopped reading books or paying counselors and psychotherapists. In the end it seems to have been for nothing. Nothing to do but take a deep breath and try to keep functioning.
October 27, 2018
Love is a complicated topic -- it's confusing, emotional, and hard to understand. It's also absolutely life changing / defining.
This book provides words, ideas, and concepts that I think will be invaluable in any future discussion or reflection upon my romantic and love life in the past, present, and future.
Definitely recommend. It also, comes along with a suggested work page that is a great foundation for anyone interested in becoming knowledgeable about this field.
This book provides words, ideas, and concepts that I think will be invaluable in any future discussion or reflection upon my romantic and love life in the past, present, and future.
Definitely recommend. It also, comes along with a suggested work page that is a great foundation for anyone interested in becoming knowledgeable about this field.
January 10, 2022
That's an interesting book. It has a theoretical-practical approach through which you can learn and practice at the same time. Bradshaw's writing style is compelling and motivating. As a downside, the book makes far too many references to other self-help books written by the author's colleagues. Nevertheless, I would recommend it.
December 1, 2025
Bradshaw helped me normalize the disillusionment that comes with long-term relationships. I now understand that it is a sign that the real work of mature love begins—a helpful map for the transition.
November 14, 2014
I am 59 years old, have been married 29 years, and I learned some new things reading this book. My husband and I recently had some issues, as most people in long marriages do. They crop up, what can I say? But wow I was not expecting to uncover some of the stuff Bradshaw shed light on. For example I learned that I had some toxic shame tucked way down deep--not from my husband but from a previous relationship. Ever hear of "dissmell"? Neither had I, but I recognized what it was when I read about it because it had happened to me. And it is a pretty clear sign of impending divorce, which yep, is exactly what happened. All these years I blamed MYSELF for not being good enough. Now I know what really went on. And how not knowing affected my current marriage to a wonderful guy who sometimes just needs a little tune up:) Bradshaw gives the warning signs and he gives the ways to stop the path to divorce in its tracks with several specific action steps. Also, you'll never look at falling in love the same way again after you read Bradshaw's new-science definition of what really goes on when we fall hard for somebody.
May 26, 2015
I encountered John Bradshaw by chance. I've been working on spiritual growth for a few years. Most of my reading has been more big picture spirituality which ultimately leads one to encounter those hidden items in our subconscious: our anxieties, shame, childhood conditioning, our emotional programs for happiness. These naturally arise as we begin to become aware that we are much more than our thoughts and emotional reactions. We begin to become aware of the "noise" surrounding our soul. As I have become more aware, I sought out a primer to better understand these parts of myself. Bradshaw does a good job at outlining and describing our emotional reactions to life. Where they originated and how they impact our life. This was eye opening and important for me.
This is only the first step. Bradshaw is a master at defining our reactions to life. This serves a great cause in bringing us awareness. The real work is learning to transform these reactions. I would move beyond Bradshaw for that lifelong spiritual guidance.
This is only the first step. Bradshaw is a master at defining our reactions to life. This serves a great cause in bringing us awareness. The real work is learning to transform these reactions. I would move beyond Bradshaw for that lifelong spiritual guidance.
December 17, 2014
I received this book through a GOODREADS giveaway and cannot state how important this read is to all marriages! Mr. Bradshaw does an excellent outlining how baggage and digressions contribute to marriage breakdown, and offers tool to explore the problems and how to re4solve the issues. I have been married for over 20 years, and found healthy ideas to improve on the good marriage I already have, so thought provoking and constructive, I would HIGHLY recommend this for all couples for a must have reference.
September 27, 2016
Bradshaw referred to so many other books that it was almost like reading an advertisement; however this would be a positive for anyone just starting to delve into self help psychology.
I found this book didn't jolt me in anyway and I even managed to have a few giggles and a fair few self validations. The exercise he requests the reader to do was not intimidating and I found myself actually answering this one; so overall a good gentle read with information gathered from almost all the self help realms in one book.
I found this book didn't jolt me in anyway and I even managed to have a few giggles and a fair few self validations. The exercise he requests the reader to do was not intimidating and I found myself actually answering this one; so overall a good gentle read with information gathered from almost all the self help realms in one book.
October 6, 2015
Bradshaw's style appeals to me. I enjoyed this read very much.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews