Learn to Love Yourself Enough: 7 Steps to Improving Your Self-Esteem and Your Relationships

by Andrew G. Marshall

Create a wealth of self-worth.
In a black-and-white world, there are two types of people--those who love themselves too much (and walk over everybody else) or hate themselves for failing to achieve goals (and probably end up being taken advantage of by others). But, according to British marital therapist, Andrew G. Marshall, neither has a healthy perception of oneself. This is because the secret to self-esteem does not lie in the extremes of love and hate, but in the middle, in the gray area that teaches us to love ourselves just enough: enough to have love to offer others; enough to be open to receive love from others. Only when this kind of balance is created, can self-love exist.
Like no other book on self-esteem ever written, Learn to Love Yourself Enough helps readers walk through life on middle ground by revealing the seven factors that, together, add up to a wealth of self-worth.

Examine your relationship with your parents: Discover the six types of child-parent relationships and how to accept the legacy of your past.
Find Forgiveness: Debunk the two myths about forgiveness and discover what can be gained from negative experiences.
Don't let other people put you down: Recognize the five phases of projection and how understanding our own projections lead to better and happy relationships.
Re-program your inner voice: Identify the three kinds of negative thinking that work together to undermine self-confidence and whether they are based on fact or just opinion.
Set realistic goals: Learn how perfectionism undermines self-esteem.
Re-balance yourself: Understand that problems lurk in the extremes and why the middle way is the most successful way.
Conquer Fears and Setbacks: Overcome the day-to-day problems that life and other people throw at us.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction

192 pages, Paperback

First published February 7, 2011

About the author

Andrew has been a marital therapist for almost thirty years. He trained with RELATE the UK's leading couple counselling charity. He now has a private practice in London and Sussex (England), gives workshops on relationship and inspirational talks. His books have been translated into twenty languages (including French, German, Spanish, Japanese, Chinese and Italian). He also writes for UK newspapers Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday.

Andrew is also the host of the podcast "The Meaningful Life with Andrew G Marshall" where each week I interview therapists, academics and people with a story to tell about making better relationships, deeper connections understanding yourself and what makes life meaningful.

Reviews

[Claudia Marta · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best book so far

[Brijesh Thaker · Rating 4 out of 5]

sometime its fine but we have to think for others.... be a nice with all (family , friends, society)

[Dan Stern · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having read Andrew Marshall's "I Love You, But I'm Not in Love with You" I knew I could trust Andrew's insights into reviewing my esteem and it was a great read. The organization of the book is superb with starting from your childhood influences and how they shaped you into how to overcome things and think differently. My favorite chapter dealt with learning how to rebalance yourself, which again challenges you to think about how you want to live and react to all the different emotions that come your way.

In many ways for me, I believe I'm more in charge with my esteem due to learning how I can control my reactions to emotions. Through the book, I've learned some great tools and ways of thinking that will help my ability to remain positive regarding self and to break through fears and struggles I previously ran away from rather than dealing. Great for those that need a lift!!

[Reema · Rating 3 out of 5]

I ironically picked it up because I hated the title and I hate “self-improvement” step 1,2,3… kind of books but it surprised me. I enjoyed it, it was an easy read, and insightful especially the first chapter about types of parents and how they influence your future choices I think I could’ve liked it even more if I didn’t drag it out so long though and I could see myself rereading some of the chapters.

[Noshin Mahmud · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good book about self compassion and reframing how you speak to yourself and in turn how that affects relationships. Filled with real life examples and some workbook style therapy questions to help you evolve and improve habits.

[Brianna]

DNF page 174.

[Anup Das · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Nice Book to rediscover one's inner voices, which definitely will help improving his/her self-esteem and interpersonal relationships
"Learn to Love Yourself Enough: Seven Steps to Improving your Self-Esteem and your Relationships" by marital therapist Andrew G. Marshall is an exploration of the self to develop a positive mindset and increase one's self-confidence. This book helps to have a balance opinion of ourselves, particularly while a modern life is making it harder. The author discusses seven steps with bullet points and appropriate anecdotes to grasp every stage in one's life. Following steps are discussed in seven chapters:
1. Understand the Problem;
2. Let Go of the Past;
3. Don't Let Other People Run You Down;
4. Reprogramme Your Inner Voice;
5. Set Realistic Goals;
6. Rebalance Yourself; and
7. Conqueer Fears and Setbacks.
At the end of the book one can rediscover his/her inner voices, which definitely will help improving his/her self-esteem and interpersonal relationships.

[Sean Wiseman · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first half of the book was not helpful/relatable for anyone who has had a good relationship with both parents. However, the insight provided in the second half will be more applicable to everyone. Not the best Marshall book - more a companion to his earlier works on this subject.

[Mai Al-Qurashi · Rating 5 out of 5]

the idea of loving yourself was always a question to me what do ppl mean by that ? don't we all love yourselves ? I mean can ppl feel the opposite ! and i really start to find the answer