Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest: Embracing Change, Rediscovering Purpose, and Cultivating Joy After the Children Leave Home

by Jill Merton

One moment you're teaching your child how to take their first steps then, in the blink of an eye, you're watching them walk into a new era of life. Are you struggling with the transition from a bustling home to an empty nest? If you are one of the many parents sending their child off on a new adventure, you've come to the right place!Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest is your key to embracing change, rediscovering purpose, and cultivating joy once your children leave home!

Not only do you worry about their future as they embark on a new journey of independence, but their absence in the home changes daily life. However, this can be just as exciting of a time for you as it is for your child!

Discover a rejuvenated outlook and find a new sense of happiness throughout this guide. Inside, you'll and tips for recreating personal routines to help navigate the emotional rollercoaster that might come on after a big change.Strategies for finding yourself after parenting and diving into your personal identity to help rediscover your passions and interests.Real-life examples of new career paths, business ventures, and volunteer opportunities to try.Guidance on navigating relationships, whether you're building a network of support or dealing with a "Boomerang" kid who ends up back home.Insight for building a brighter future, with exercises and inspiration for embracing the journey ahead.Change can be hard, but turn uneasiness into excitement once your children leave home!

Find empowerment and get ready to be inspired by Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest.

140 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 28, 2024

Reviews

[Ricardo Medina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I borrowed this book thanks to my Kindle Unlimited subscription, and I read it on my tablet using the Kindle app.

I must admit that I am not a parent (yet), but I found this quick-read book very interesting and enlightening. First, it provides the most important definition in the book: Empty Nest Syndrome, described as the feeling of emptiness once all your children have grown up and left home to build their own lives. This syndrome may affect your health in terms of sleep patterns, appetite, energy levels, and stress. While it affects people differently, the book offers a large list of examples and tips on how to fill that void and adjust to the new "freedom."

The majority of tips focus on staying active, whether through trying new or old hobbies, attending classes, tutoring, and more.

If you're approaching that time when your kids are about to leave home, or they've already gone, I highly recommend this book.

[Andrew McAllan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read quite a decent amount of self-help books, but Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest was a bit different for me. I’m not a mom or a parent. So, it wasn't a directly for me. I actually picked it up because my parents are now empty nesters, and I’ve been noticing how much this stage of life is affecting them.

I got this book because I wanted to understand what they might be going through.

Even though it’s aimed at parents, I found the advice super relatable. The book talks about how to manage emotions, rediscover yourself, and create new routines after a big life change such as your kids leaving home, but I'd say it could be applicable to other situations, which meant that while I was reading that to better understand my parents' situation, I also picked some interesting nuggets along the way.

The chapter about relationships stood out to me because it gave me ideas for how I can support my parents without overstepping. For example, I loved the suggestion about encouraging them to try new hobbies or even volunteer work to help them stay active and connected. Indeed, having the kids at home meant that my parents always relied on us to be active. Now, I feel they are less proactive in terms of choosing recurring activities that get them to be involved in the community or just doing stuff that they like.

My biggest learning from the book is that becoming an empty nester is a new stage of life, and should be seen as an opportunity to start doing new things that you may enjoy!

The book is written in a friendly, positive tone that makes it easy to read and doesn’t feel overwhelming or overly serious, or too prescriptive like some self-help books can be.

If you’re curious about what empty nesters go through or want to support someone in your life dealing with it, this is a great book to pick up. It gave me a better understanding of my parents’ experience, and I feel more clear on what I could do to help them go through this new phase of life. It's also equipping me for a moment of life that's a bit far for me, but will happen at some point.

[Sal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shows how parents can renew their own lives when children leave

Jill Merton has written another outstanding book geared toward parents, this one about when their children leave home to begin new, independent lives.

The previous book I read by Merton was also about parenthood, and I was really impressed with her ability to write in both a sensitive and practical manner. Her advice is so spot on and goes in depth the further you read.

In “Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest,” Merton covers how parents can cope as their children leave home for the first time. Incidentally, my wife and I are approaching this milestone ourselves.

Merton leaves nothing out in this episode of life for parents, which is evident in the extensive table of contents at the start. The topics begin with defining what empty nest syndrome is and extend to the emotional part of that and how parents can make their own lives richer when kids move out, but without forgetting what a special time raising a family was. Children can also return to the “nest,” and Merton does an excellent job of how to deal with that when it occurs.

As the author reveals, there are so many things parents can do to rejuvenate their own lives when their children leave the house to start their own lives, despite the heavy emotional toll this can take on everyone involved. The big takeaway I got from “Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest” is that life can begin anew for parents, and that their new chapters in life don’t have to be empty and meaningless as their family situation changes.

Parents will undoubtedly think of their own situations and lives when reading this book – I know I did. The range of how parents and their kids think and behave when kids leave their households spans the gamut of behavior and emotions. Merton’s book does an excellent job of giving everyone involved top-notch guidance.

[Darren Beaming · Rating 4 out of 5]

Preparing for the empty nest

Jill Merton is a very well written book and one I decided to read because both of my children are now in their late teens and this will soon become my reality.
Even when they were toddlers and small, I absolutely loved being a father and looking after my children. I secretly dreaded the future, knowing that it would mean they'd leave the nest but that is part of life and I'm not the selfish type. I've been preparing them to live independent lives, to get out into the world, live, be happy and experience different things. However, I maybe haven't prepared myself so much for the point when they do leave. My wife is better than I am with these things than I am but I decided I'd read this book to get a sense of how to navigate this upcoming stage in my life.
The book is very well written, with lots of insights and coping strategies included. Some sections made me think about the future and also my relationship with my soon to be adult children. The idea of adult children returning to live back in the family home was not something I thought about and there is some good insights into setting boundaries, discussing financial contributions and navigating money matters.
Very interestingly it talks about preparing for the second departure/farewell and how to cope. Some great advice, although I'm not sure about household chores as a source of comfort and meditation though:-) Sounds like something my wife would say to get me to do more around the house.
Overall though a very good book and one that made me think a lot about the future.

[D.D Roach · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book provides a perfect guide for parents and guardians to discover themselves again when their kids have left home permanently. There is even a section to guide parents if their kids have still returned home after leaving.
Life changes when kids leave home and you need to embrace the chance, prepare for it also because it can be shocking. After taking care of a child for 20 plus years, you sometimes lose yourself being so occupied in molding a little human and you forget who you are, what you like. When the kids leave home, these feeling of “boredom” can really pull at your heart, affecting your mental and could affect you emotionally.
Its best to prepare for this situation and this book is a great guide to start. The author Jill Merton really laid out everything bare on how to handle this situation. There is a wealth of advice and strategies to help you cope with this change, example, joining a new activity, meditation, journaling, gym, hobbies further education and more.
The authors also touch on how to develop a relationship with this new adult child you have sent off into the world, how to maintain a healthy relationship, hwo to help them and guide them without interfering.
I also like how the author touched on the cultural aspect of the child leaving home. I come from the Caribbean and its almost taboo for a child to leave home before marriage, to leave a parent alone. Also my wife is from Asia and they would never leave their parents alone since it can be look at as abandonment.
Good book to read and very well researched and written.

[Irene · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read "Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest: Embracing Change, Rediscovering Purpose, and Cultivating Joy After the Children Leave Home" by Jill Merton even though my children are in their preteens and still at least a decade away from leaving our house because I know that it's inevitable--at least, I hope so. Although here in the Philippines, we don't boot out our children automatically at the age of 18; we do hope that they'll strike out on their own once they get married! This book is helpful for all empty nesters because it gives concrete and practical advice about what couples (and single parents) can do once the children leave the family home, such as rediscover old hobbies, build opportunities for themselves (such as new jobs or businesses), and strengthen their relationship through shared activities. It's funny because there's a chapter about "the boomerang effect" (when adult kids return to live with their parents for whatever reason), and I'm one of those myself, having to return home for health reasons. That particular part helped give me some insight as to what my parents could be feeling and how to get along with them better. In summary, this book is a very helpful and practical resource for all those parents (and even grandparents) who are having a hard time coping with the departure of their children and dealing with an "empty nest."

[Krish · Rating 5 out of 5]

A journey for parents to rediscover themselves.

Jill Merton has penned down an amazing book that serves as a cornerstone for parents navigating that inevitable phase. A phase when your child grows big enough to venture out into the world, thereby creating an empty nest in your home.

Wonderfully crafted, this book guides us on a journey of emotional resilience and rediscovery. While feeling nostalgic is expected, we learn to outgrow our fear and establish meaningful connections.

The pursuit of our long subdued passions is a central theme as the narrative outlines practical tips such as journaling and mindfulness to better understand our new priorities.

Striving towards better health, managing finances for retirement, strengthening relationships with effort and openness, this book covers a wide spectrum of such topics with meticulous ease.

The boomerang phenomenon after the global outbreak is handled deftly with empathy and kindness. Exploring a new dynamic with our grown-up children and in-laws is surely a fascinating read.

Overall it’s a pleasant read inspiring hope and optimism while being grounded in reality. The message to leave a legacy worth remembering is indeed an endearing one. Highly recommend this book for all parents in need of guidance through this transforming phase in their lives.

[Joan Lewis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I cannot fault the copious advice that Jill Merton dispenses to parents in her book 'Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest.' The title tells it all. Firstly, we learn that our reactions to seeing our children leave home are entirely natural. Jill Merton acts much like a comforting friend, who offers reassurance and support. She then suggests ways forward for our own personal development and growth in this next phase of our lives. Symptoms of anxiety and depression are sympathetically explained, and pointers given towards activities which we may like to undertake, such as fitness regimes, spa days, community involvement and so much more. She even deals with the syndrome of ‘boomerang children,’ and how best to cope when one’s adult child returns to live at home. Beyond this point in life many people may be considering downsizing, and so a list of common-sense pros and cons are given to help us decide whether this would suit us. This book is written in an easy, conversational style. Jill Merton has clearly researched these issues, and her sources are listed at the back. However, the advice she gives is hardly new or earth shattering. Perhaps the strength of this book lies in its ability to provide reassurance and comfort for anyone who may feel unsure about things at this stage in their lives.

[Kelly Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

How will your life change when your adult children leave the home, and what are the best ways to cope with this new situation? “Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest: Embracing Change, Rediscovering Purpose, and Cultivating Joy After the Children Leave Home” by Jill Merton, is a practical guide with helpful advice for parents going through this stage of life.
Merton describes “Empty Nest Syndrome” (ENS) as the profound sense of loss mixed with pride that parents experience when their children move out, which can be overwhelm and disorient parents, leaving them feeling lonely. The term ENS originated from Dorothy Canfields book, “Mothers and Children,” first published in 1914. The topic of ENS has been studied since then and determined to be a notable adjustment phase that can affect mental health.
The author provides tips for coping with this new life phase, including support groups, meditation, and journaling, among other suggestions. She offers advice on how empty nesters can find a new focus, such as trying new or old hobbies, coaching or mentoring, or taking classes. She also discusses the challenges in forging a new relationship with adult children while maintaining boundaries and dealing with the possibility of adult children moving back home.

[Nathan Ellis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest is an invaluable guide for parents who find themselves navigating the emotional complexities of an empty home once their children leave. Merton has crafted a supportive and practical resource that not only acknowledges the feelings of loss and uncertainty that come with this transition but also highlights the exciting opportunities for self-discovery and personal growth.

What I appreciated most about this book is how it balances empathy with actionable advice. Merton dives into the emotional rollercoaster that many parents experience during this phase, offering comforting reassurances that these feelings are natural while encouraging readers to embrace the possibilities ahead. From rekindling old hobbies and exploring new career paths to building deeper connections with friends and partners, she offers a variety of strategies that make this life stage less daunting and more empowering. Her real-life examples and thoughtful tips make even the most challenging aspects of this transition feel manageable.

Overall, this is both a comforting companion and a motivational roadmap to finding joy and purpose in the next chapter of life. It's a truly impressive and well organized book that will surely help parents who are in this phase of life!

[Leroy Malloy · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest" by Jill Merton is a heartfelt and empowering guide for parents navigating the emotional transition of their children leaving home. This book is a beacon of hope for those struggling to adjust to the quiet of an empty nest, offering practical strategies and heartfelt wisdom to turn this life change into an opportunity for growth and joy. Merton skillfully addresses the emotional rollercoaster that comes with this transition, providing actionable tips for recreating personal routines, rediscovering passions, and exploring new career paths, volunteer opportunities, or entrepreneurial ventures. The book also offers invaluable guidance on navigating relationships, whether building a supportive network or managing the dynamics of a "Boomerang" child returning home. With real-life examples, insightful exercises, and a compassionate tone, Merton inspires readers to embrace this new chapter with excitement and purpose. "Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest" is more than a guide, it’s a roadmap to rediscovering identity, cultivating joy, and building a brighter, more fulfilling future. For any parent facing the empty nest phase, this book is an essential companion, offering both comfort and inspiration to thrive in this transformative journey.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the introduction, it was extremely clear that the author truly understands the complex feelings of an empty nester–the emptiness, loneliness, and even loss of identity–but also the relief and hope for the future. She immediately normalizes these feelings and makes the reader feel seen. I love that throughout the book, the author talks TO you, rather than at you.

This book is filled with practical advice for managing empty nest syndrome (ENS) and the different ways that it can affect a person, as well as its historical context and cultural implications. The author’s knowledge is thorough and it really shows throughout the book.

The author presents a myriad of ways to manage ENS, including finding community, journaling, meditation, and more. I particularly liked the emphasis on both physical and mental health, as well as the importance of self-care. The book also offers pragmatic ways to reclaim your identity and adjust to your new lifestyle, including finding new fulfillment through volunteer work and new career paths. It also includes advice on how to build new relationships, while also reinventing the relationship with adult children.

Overall, I found this book to be practical, well-written, and filled with wisdom. I highly recommend it!

[James Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

‘Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest’ by Jill Merton is a guide written for parents whose kids have all left home. It starts by defining ‘empty nest syndrome’ and reflecting on the various emotional responses and stresses associated with this major life change. For me, I felt there was not enough emphasis or recognition that these days, many parents are relieved or overjoyed to have reached this stage in life. Subsequent chapters follow various themes such as how to manage one’s emotions, including recognizing the signs of anxiety and depression, and ways to find support through personal activities and the community, as well as discovering various aspects of one’s new reality. Issues discussed include downsizing, volunteering or new career paths, transitioning from a parent to an advisor, and developing new traditions. There is even an increasingly relevant chapter on boomeranging, when adult children who have left return home for various reasons, and the re-experiencing of an empty nest when they leave again. The book closes with an uplifting chapter focused on planning for and embracing a bright future. This book is highly recommended for those who are apprehensive about this new chapter in their lives and are seeking some assistance in weathering the upcoming challenges.

[sureshot · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author does a good job establishing what ENS is and the history of the concept and research on ENS. Changes across generations and cultures are considered. Differences between genders are considered. I love that the author also discusses the impact of ENS on grandparents. The author discusses the feeling of loss that can occur when the kids leave. There are tips on how to deal with this sense of loss while navigating the new possibilities to explore ourselves when the kids are no longer present on a day to day basis. I like the idea of reaching out to the people in the community or internet who are also going through ENS. I also like the idea of looking inside by journaling. Activities like meditation and yoga are also discussed. There are many other activities suggest, like proper exercise and diet. I love the idea of looking at this time as a chance for rediscovery and the author’s suggestions about how to go about this. These are just some of the benefits of this book, and I recommend it the people who are new to an empty nest.

[Ann Birdgenaw · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s an emotional roller coaster ride and this book can help us all adjust

This book is recommended for parents suffering sadness and loss, depression and a sense of emptiness due to their child or children moving out. Even though it is also a time of growing and a good outlook on the future, both theirs and ours, it takes some adjustment on our part to make the transition as smooth as possible. We are happy for our children; they are spreading their wings and moving to an important phase of their lives, but we are also filled with anxiety about it. What is the “Empty Nest Syndrome” (ENS) and how we can change our perspective from “the end of something” to “a new beginning”. What are the psychological implications based on our family and our culture? This book has good advice and tools to help us discover new opportunities and experiences going forward. How to reconnect with our passions and pursuits we may have put aside and manage our expectations of our adult children. It’s an emotional roller coaster ride and this book can help us all adjust.

[Sergei Dobrovolskii · Rating 5 out of 5]

When the kids move out, it’s easy to feel lost—like a part of your identity just walked out the door with them. Surviving and Thriving the Empty Nest is like having a heart-to-heart with a friend who’s been there, reminding you that this transition isn’t just about loss; it’s about rediscovery.

This book acknowledges the emotional ups and downs of an empty house, but instead of dwelling on what’s missing, it gently nudges you toward what’s next. It’s filled with practical tips for redefining your daily routine, rekindling forgotten passions, and even exploring new career or volunteer opportunities. I especially appreciated the real-life examples of parents who turned this phase into something exciting.

If you’re struggling with an empty nest or just feeling unsure about what comes next, this book offers reassurance, guidance, and a much-needed dose of optimism. It’s not about moving on—it’s about moving forward, and maybe even finding new joy along the way.

[Kathy Nunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just as you are really enjoying the adult version of the children you nurtured for so long, they take a leap into the unknown, and suddenly, your role in the family has changed, and the house is too quiet. Jill Merton's book on dealing with the difficulties of this confusing time is an excellent guide to seeing your way forward with a positive outlook and embracing the challenge. What I particularly loved about this book was the advice on changing your own life patterns to provide yourself with new ways of feeling excited about your life. Many options for changing things up are presented, and there is something there for everyone. What is also very good is the section on enhancing your relationship with the children who have left home and making sure that you recognize that the experiences they have had away from the comforts of home life will have changed them and their outlook. This is a well-written book by someone who has sound advice.

[Liz Engert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Empowering and Uplifting!

This book offers practical tips, thoughtful reflections, and inspiring examples to help readers embrace change, rediscover their passions, and create new routines. With its compassionate approach, it addresses both the emotional challenges and the exciting opportunities that come with this new chapter. Whether you're seeking personal growth, new career paths, or simply a fresh perspective, this book is a must-read for anyone looking to thrive in their empty nest!

[Caroline Laredo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous book, really gets into the nitty gritty of the emotional rollercoaster that is part of that empty nest. Practical and forward thinking advice to keep you on your toes and remaining a relevant role model to your adult children and not only surviving, but thriving through it al. Well worth the read.