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If Today Be Sweet
“Ultimately, [ If Today Be Sweet ] reflects on what makes an individual part of a community, and movingly depicts the heartaches, responsibilities, and rewards of family life—among one’s own blood relatives as well as one’s ‘family of choice.’ . . . [A] meditation on the complex process of building a new life.” — Charlotte Observer The recent death of her beloved husband, Rustom, has taken its toll on Tehmina Sethna. Now, while visiting her son, Sorab, in his suburban Ohio home, she is being asked to choose between continuing her old life in India and starting a new one in this unfamiliar country with her son, his American wife, and their child. Her destiny is uncertain, and soon the plight of two troubled young children next door will force the most difficult decision she has ever faced. Ultimately the journey is one that Tehmina must travel alone. Eloquently written, evocative, and unforgettable, If Today Be Sweet is a poignant look at issues of immigration, identity, family life, and hope.
296 pages, Hardcover
First published May 29, 2007
129 people are currently reading
2036 people want to read
About the author
Thrity Umrigar
20 books2,899 followersA journalist for seventeen years, Thrity Umrigar has written for the Washington Post, the Cleveland Plain Dealer, and other national newspapers, and contributes regularly to the Boston Globe's book pages. Thrity is the winner of the Cleveland Arts Prize, a Lambda Literary award and the Seth Rosenberg prize. She teaches creative writing and literature at Case Western Reserve University. The author of The Space Between Us, Bombay Time, and the memoir First Darling of the Morning: Selected Memories of an Indian Childhood, she was a winner of the Nieman Fellowship to Harvard University. She has a Ph.D. in English and lives in Cleveland, Ohio. (from the publisher's website)"
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 345 reviews
June 23, 2008
I really enjoyed this book. Great infomation about Indian culture.
In Umrigar's tender fourth novel, Tehmina "Tammy" Sethna is torn between two cultures that couldn't be more different: Bombay and Cleveland. The former is her homeland, but after her husband's recent death, she's been staying with her son and his family in America. Tehmina loves being near grandson Cookie, but she often feels like an intruder in her American daughter-in-law's home, and she's disconcerted by the changes in her son, Sorab, who is stressed from the corporate rat race. Though Tehmina's loneliness floods her with memories of her husband, the Parsi community back in India and her traditional ways, she finds no small amount of purpose (and celebrity) in Cleveland after suspecting her neighbor of child abuse and intervening on the children's behalf. Immigration laws, meanwhile, force her to decide whether she'll remain in Cleveland or return to Bombay. Umrigar (The Space Between Us) shows the unseemly side of American excess and prejudice while gently reminding readers of opportunities sometimes taken for granted
In Umrigar's tender fourth novel, Tehmina "Tammy" Sethna is torn between two cultures that couldn't be more different: Bombay and Cleveland. The former is her homeland, but after her husband's recent death, she's been staying with her son and his family in America. Tehmina loves being near grandson Cookie, but she often feels like an intruder in her American daughter-in-law's home, and she's disconcerted by the changes in her son, Sorab, who is stressed from the corporate rat race. Though Tehmina's loneliness floods her with memories of her husband, the Parsi community back in India and her traditional ways, she finds no small amount of purpose (and celebrity) in Cleveland after suspecting her neighbor of child abuse and intervening on the children's behalf. Immigration laws, meanwhile, force her to decide whether she'll remain in Cleveland or return to Bombay. Umrigar (The Space Between Us) shows the unseemly side of American excess and prejudice while gently reminding readers of opportunities sometimes taken for granted
August 12, 2011
This was a kind of silly book in many ways. There were some things that were interesting, but it wasn't nearly as good as The Space Between Us. Tehmina is a 66 year old widow who has come from Bombay to stay with her son and American daughter-in-law while trying to decide where to spend the rest of her life: in America with them or back in Bombay. There's a lot of agonizing over this decision by all parties. Then there's a sub-plot in involving an abusive mother living next door. The way this plays out is not especially realistic. Much of the dialogue is awkward, and I got the feeling that the book was a means for Umrigar to complain about all the things she doesn't like about the US: too sterile, too heartless, too over scheduled, yada yada. It got old. Still, I didn't totally dislike the book. It had some interesting things to say about the experience of immigrants.
August 24, 2018
I love Thrity Umrigar, The Space Between Us and The Weight of Heaven are two of my favorite books. But If Today Be Sweet was just an okay read. Thrity is at her best writing about India and Bombay. This book took place in Ohio (no offense to my friends in Ohio) with flash backs of life in Bombay, some of the best parts of the book. But for me not enough time in India. This definitely is a book for book clubs, lots to discuss.
July 21, 2013
A beautiful book. Poignant, heart-wrenching, humourous and poetic. Thrity Umrigar at her best.
July 1, 2008
Apparently I have chosen the wrong book of this author to explore. Why did I abandon this book? My top reasons: 1)after 3 chapters I found the writing to be incredibly cheesy . It almost seemed as if it was written by a junior high kid. Of course, I'm not a fabulous writer either but it is not my profession. 2) Please remember I've only read 3 chapters in this book when I say this and things might change later in the story. The writer points out what is "wrong" with every American character that is introduced into the story by this point. She describes mainly the negatives whereas she seems to higlight the positives of the Indian characters. Even Eva, a woman she has come to love and consider as her best friend, she states she would be embarrassed to be seen with in India do to the woman's size. Another example, she states when American children are dirty they always appear to be dirtier than the poorest of Indian children. Maybe the story evolves and the main character changes her outlook somewhat I just did not care to find out. I realize we Americans are far from perfect and our culture can be superficial at times but there just seemed to be too many blanket statements about it in this work.
In perusing other poster's reviews of the author's work it seems this book happens to be much different compared to her previous works. Perhaps I will try one of her other works instead. This one gets returned today.
In perusing other poster's reviews of the author's work it seems this book happens to be much different compared to her previous works. Perhaps I will try one of her other works instead. This one gets returned today.
December 29, 2011
I would give this novel a 2-1/2 star if I could. It wasn't the best writing and it did go on and on quite a bit about some things and it was quite predictable as well, but it's not too often that I find myself wanting to laugh out loud as I did in this story as it was just too cute to hold back. It's about a 66 year old Parsi woman who can't make up her mind where to live as her beloved husband, Rustom, passed away the year before. She has to choose whether to live in Ohio with her son, Sorab, and white wife, Susan, and their son, Cavas, "Cookie", where everything is so different from her ways of life in India, or return back in India where she has always lived, and has her daily routine and friends. It was interesting to see through the eyes of Tehmina, the ways some things are done here in the states where it's the "normal" way and the way things are done in India where it's their "normal" way.
Tehmina is such a sweet natured character that anyone reading this book will either want to have her as a mother, grandmother, or friend, and want to be around her, not to mention want to try all of her delicious sounding Indian dishes she makes. I didn't get this same good feeling from Susan. I didn't feel that Sorab and her marriage seemed geniune and actually found Susan to be quite harsh and mean. Cookie seemed like a spoiled brat as well.
Tehmina is such a sweet natured character that anyone reading this book will either want to have her as a mother, grandmother, or friend, and want to be around her, not to mention want to try all of her delicious sounding Indian dishes she makes. I didn't get this same good feeling from Susan. I didn't feel that Sorab and her marriage seemed geniune and actually found Susan to be quite harsh and mean. Cookie seemed like a spoiled brat as well.
June 15, 2009
This is the 3rd Umrigar book I have read and my second favorite. I still believe "The Space between Us" is by far her best book so far. I am not sure if it was true in "The Space..." as well, but I find that Umrigar goes into such long episodes of characters' thoughts that it is disorienting once she comes back to the scene. This was more so a problem in Bombay Time (when there were many more characters) but it happens quite often in this novel as well. But this book succeeds in its wonderful analysis of the immigrant experience of Indian Americans. There are some descriptions of America and Americans compared to life in Bombay that rang so true to my own experience as an American born Chinese who has visited Malaysia and Taiwan. While America was always the perfect standard when I was younger, the more I return to my parents' countries of origin, I see so much richness, and paradoxically simplicity, in those countries that are different/lacking in the US. Umrigar has transported the reader into the mind and heart of Telmina as she decides whether to leave her home in Bombay to live with her son and daughter-in-law in the US following her husband's death.
August 14, 2008
It's a sweet story, about a recently widowed woman from Bombay who tries to decide whether to move to suburban Ohio to live with family. But she spends the entire book deciding. Fortunately, she's an interesting character, but often annoying because she's indecisive. Finally something happens (she rescues two children) and gets off the fence, literally: Her deciding moment comes as she's climbing a fence, trying to decide on which side to jump down. Too literal a metaphor for me. But the character's observations about life in the US (clean, fresh, organized, detached, lonely, overly fearful, sterile) are the most interesting parts. Her ambivalence is driven by that--do I go home to the warm exciting difficult swirl of Bombay or stay near my son in the well-ordered blandness of suburbia?
December 15, 2008
This is an incredibly sweet-natured and even corny book, and I enjoyed it despite the stereotyped characters and occasionally wooden writing and imagery. Umrigar is writing about an older Parsi woman who comes to the USA to stay with her son and daughter-in-law after her beloved husband dies. She must decide whether to move to the US, or return to her life in Bombay. The whole book involves her sitting "on the fence," including a literal fence-sitting scene. But I enjoyed the details about India and the analysis of trying to fit into a new world and a new family, as the protagonist tries to decide what parts of her life and personality she can retain and what has to be jettisoned as she grows into a new place and family. I thought The Space Between Us was a far superior novel.
February 7, 2017
This is one of my favorite authors and have read 3 of her books. She always affects me in a good way because she writes about family and what is the right choice and relationships.
This story was mainly about Tehmina a Parsi woman from India visiting her family in Ohio after the death of her beloved husband. Her decision to stay with her son and family or go back to India. A kind woman Tehmina affects many people in America and forms new relationships and so forms a new family.
I would like to be like Tehmina a woman with a heart of gold.
A lot of emotion in this story. This author didn't disappoint me.
Highly recommended!
This story was mainly about Tehmina a Parsi woman from India visiting her family in Ohio after the death of her beloved husband. Her decision to stay with her son and family or go back to India. A kind woman Tehmina affects many people in America and forms new relationships and so forms a new family.
I would like to be like Tehmina a woman with a heart of gold.
A lot of emotion in this story. This author didn't disappoint me.
Highly recommended!
December 17, 2017
Umrigar is one of my "go-to" authors. So many good books. THE SPACE BETWEEN US is wonderful. This one, not as good but still worth reading. It's about a widow trying too find her place in the world without her husband. A popular and touching topic but I think Umrigar approached the subject with an overly simplistic viewpoint. Possibly she was trying too hard to combine numerous story lines into a satisfying conclusion. It clicks together in a way that reality never does.
February 28, 2016
I loved this book. It's much more lighthearted than her other books and really delightful.
July 19, 2012
Tehmina was in deep despair after her husband died. They were quite the lovable couple. They were both caring enough to take in another child, (they already had a son named Sorab), into their home when his beloved mom died, and his alcoholic father could not adequately take care of him. Both of Sorab's parents saw the loss of their son to America, but they were happy he was happy married to a white American woman who loved him and bore their son. Tehmina and her husband lived in Mumbai, but visited America to see their family four weeks a year.
When Tehmina's husband suddenly died of a heart attack, Tehmina suffered. Thrity Umrigar's words show Tehmina's grief and despair: "How effortless, how untroubled living had been when Rustom had been alive. Like riding in a Mercedes-Benz, Tehmina now thought, with tinted windows that kept the outside squalor at bay and shock absorbers that smoothened and muted all of life's bumps. And now, without Rustom at the wheel, she suddenly felt as if she was traveling in the old Ambassador her father used to own, with its rattling doors and the kind of shocks that made you feel every pothole at the base of your spine. Her fall from grace had been as quick and astounding as Rustom's heart attack."
Tehmina, now living in her son's home, without her husband, has to decide whether to live in Mumbai or in the small Ohio town where her son and family reside. Thrity Umrigar clearly shows throughout this book how hard this decision is for Tehmina. Tehmina is vulnerable and sensitive. This decision is also hard for her Indian son and American wife. A cultural tension pervades Sorab's home, for his wife is White American, their son is American, and Sorab stands between his now American, and once, Indian culture.
When Tehmina's husband suddenly died of a heart attack, Tehmina suffered. Thrity Umrigar's words show Tehmina's grief and despair: "How effortless, how untroubled living had been when Rustom had been alive. Like riding in a Mercedes-Benz, Tehmina now thought, with tinted windows that kept the outside squalor at bay and shock absorbers that smoothened and muted all of life's bumps. And now, without Rustom at the wheel, she suddenly felt as if she was traveling in the old Ambassador her father used to own, with its rattling doors and the kind of shocks that made you feel every pothole at the base of your spine. Her fall from grace had been as quick and astounding as Rustom's heart attack."
Tehmina, now living in her son's home, without her husband, has to decide whether to live in Mumbai or in the small Ohio town where her son and family reside. Thrity Umrigar clearly shows throughout this book how hard this decision is for Tehmina. Tehmina is vulnerable and sensitive. This decision is also hard for her Indian son and American wife. A cultural tension pervades Sorab's home, for his wife is White American, their son is American, and Sorab stands between his now American, and once, Indian culture.
January 22, 2018
Livro bonitinho, leitura fácil e história para quem gosta de água com açúcar, mais sentimental é ingênuo. Mas não é uma forte indicação.
July 22, 2013
Enjoyable, but not as good as either The Space Between Us or The World We Found. A bit fairy-tale-esque in a way, what with Jerome and Josh getting a wonderful new chance with their loving aunt in the countryside. A lot of things were squeezed into the final chapter; certain things, such as Rustom's Omar Khayyam messages, could've been a continuing occurrence throughout. The dialogue was weaker than I've come to expect from Umrigar, though certain characters (Grace) were characterized quite well through dialogue.
On the subject of Grace! I am of two minds about her. I used to know someone who could be her slightly-older sister and I relate completely to her awfulness as a boss. In a perfect world I wouldn't be criticizing Umrigar's portrayal of the awful, snobby, career-woman boss: after all, I certainly know such people do exist. But something about her screwing up with such frivolity and being summarily fired by the benevolent CEO...doesn't completely sit right. Then again, Susan is also a career woman, though her career is not focused on as much. And Grace is pretty dismissive of Joe's political views in an irritating way. And I guess every fairy tale needs a witch...though Tara already wins that role.
Anyway! Certain threads were picked up and then abandoned to some extent: most noticeably, the Bombay apartment break-in.
So yes, a fun book, but not as good as the others of Umrigar's which I have read...and pretty much couldn't put down.
On the subject of Grace! I am of two minds about her. I used to know someone who could be her slightly-older sister and I relate completely to her awfulness as a boss. In a perfect world I wouldn't be criticizing Umrigar's portrayal of the awful, snobby, career-woman boss: after all, I certainly know such people do exist. But something about her screwing up with such frivolity and being summarily fired by the benevolent CEO...doesn't completely sit right. Then again, Susan is also a career woman, though her career is not focused on as much. And Grace is pretty dismissive of Joe's political views in an irritating way. And I guess every fairy tale needs a witch...though Tara already wins that role.
Anyway! Certain threads were picked up and then abandoned to some extent: most noticeably, the Bombay apartment break-in.
So yes, a fun book, but not as good as the others of Umrigar's which I have read...and pretty much couldn't put down.
November 12, 2018
3 STARS
"Tehmina Sethna's beloved husband has died this past year and she is visiting her son, Sorab, in his suburban Ohio home. Now Tehmina is being asked to choose between her old, familiar life in India and a new one in Ohio with her son, his American wife, and their child. She must decide whether to leave the comforting landscape of her native India for the strange rituals of life in a new country.
This is a journey Tehmina, a middle-aged Parsi woman, must travel alone.
The Parsis were let into India almost a millennium ago because of their promise to "sweeten" and enrich the lives of the people in their adopted country. This is an ancient promise that Tehmina takes seriously. And so, while faced with the larger choice of whether to stay in America or not, Tehmina is also confronted with another, more urgent choice: whether to live in America as a stranger or as a citizen. Citizenship implies connection, participation, and involvement. Soon destiny beckons in the form of two young, troubled children next door. It is the plight of these two boys that forces Tehmina to choose. She will either straddle two worlds forever and live in a no-man's land or jump into the fullness of her new life in America." (From Amazon)
I like her writing style and characters.
"Tehmina Sethna's beloved husband has died this past year and she is visiting her son, Sorab, in his suburban Ohio home. Now Tehmina is being asked to choose between her old, familiar life in India and a new one in Ohio with her son, his American wife, and their child. She must decide whether to leave the comforting landscape of her native India for the strange rituals of life in a new country.
This is a journey Tehmina, a middle-aged Parsi woman, must travel alone.
The Parsis were let into India almost a millennium ago because of their promise to "sweeten" and enrich the lives of the people in their adopted country. This is an ancient promise that Tehmina takes seriously. And so, while faced with the larger choice of whether to stay in America or not, Tehmina is also confronted with another, more urgent choice: whether to live in America as a stranger or as a citizen. Citizenship implies connection, participation, and involvement. Soon destiny beckons in the form of two young, troubled children next door. It is the plight of these two boys that forces Tehmina to choose. She will either straddle two worlds forever and live in a no-man's land or jump into the fullness of her new life in America." (From Amazon)
I like her writing style and characters.
April 16, 2022
Thrity Urmigar is an absolute find. I bought this beautiful book on holiday in a gorgeous musty second hand shop on a hot languid day.
I will undoubtedly seek out her other works. Such depth and finesse I am swooning at her writing. I read it upon my return and it was so good I sent it to my therapist. Together we understand the truth of this poignancy and requirement of being seen simply as we are.
Tehmina has lost her beloved Rustom whom she lived with in the harmony of a long time crafted connection through vulnerability and imperfection. She is vacillating between staying in Ohio with her son Sorab or return to her apartment and friends in Mumbai. Which life does she wish to continue as a widow. Her daughter in law Susan is struggling with having her stay and her son is trapped in office machinations that are new and stressful. Her grandson Cookie is her oasis in the confusion. The next door neighbour is in a cycle of self harm that is impacting her two young boys in which Susan has expressly told Tehmina to not get involved. Ultimately her values and understanding of unconditional love and the power of a full stomach tip the balance.
A book about humanity, immigration and choosing integrity vs self betrayal.
I will undoubtedly seek out her other works. Such depth and finesse I am swooning at her writing. I read it upon my return and it was so good I sent it to my therapist. Together we understand the truth of this poignancy and requirement of being seen simply as we are.
Tehmina has lost her beloved Rustom whom she lived with in the harmony of a long time crafted connection through vulnerability and imperfection. She is vacillating between staying in Ohio with her son Sorab or return to her apartment and friends in Mumbai. Which life does she wish to continue as a widow. Her daughter in law Susan is struggling with having her stay and her son is trapped in office machinations that are new and stressful. Her grandson Cookie is her oasis in the confusion. The next door neighbour is in a cycle of self harm that is impacting her two young boys in which Susan has expressly told Tehmina to not get involved. Ultimately her values and understanding of unconditional love and the power of a full stomach tip the balance.
A book about humanity, immigration and choosing integrity vs self betrayal.
August 20, 2024
Thrity Umrigar is one of my favorite authors, but I didn't love this one as much as her others like "Bombay Time," "Honor" and "The Museum of Failures." It's a touching story, the some of the characters — the wife, the boss and the boss's boss are a little two-dimensional. And some of the writing is cheesy. I'd say read this if you are already a fan of Umrigar. Don't make this your first read. My first was "Bombay Time," which I stumbled across 20+ years ago at a midtown branch of New York Public Library, and I've been a fan ever since.
July 15, 2008
Yes...this book truly was amazing. This author is quickly becoming one of my favorites. Her writing is excellent. Simple, yet viseral. Her characters all but leap off the page and her plot is such a simple one. That's a great author....somebody who can tell a story about the human element and make you feel like you're right "there" with the characters.
And I just loved the entire message of the book. If I sound like I'm gushing...I am. I was sorry to see it end and now I'm anxiously waiting for her memoir to be released this October. I've already pre-ordered it.
And I just loved the entire message of the book. If I sound like I'm gushing...I am. I was sorry to see it end and now I'm anxiously waiting for her memoir to be released this October. I've already pre-ordered it.
October 5, 2023
I very much enjoyed the first 1/3 of this book - met the cast of characters and got filled in on the intricacies and vagaries of life in India vs life in the States. The second 1/3 of the book, which I'll call "do I stay or do I go" was tedious; and the last 1/3 was just downright boring, with the single exception: the "appearance" of Rustom, who, IMO was the best character in the book. My overall opinion is that the author had no idea how to end this book and when to end it. So, this book fell from a solid 5* to a rather generous 2*.
September 17, 2015
Widow Tehmina Sethna is caught between Bombay and Ohio. One is her home but the other is where her son and his family live. And though she has visited America extensively she is not sure if she is ready to move there. Ms Umrigar tells this story in a thoughtful and encouraging manner. At the end I was rooting for Tehmina to make America her home.
August 8, 2012
A widow from Bombay has difficulties in adjusting to life in America living with her son, daughter-in-law and grandson. It’s a well written book exploring the adjustments that need to be made when starting a new life in such a diverse country as the US.
July 19, 2012
A good read & enjoyed it.
Read
December 2, 2016Disappointing. Her "space between" was so full and rich and lush & this was trite and cliched.
July 4, 2018
Muitos de meus amigos recomendaram a leitura do livro: A doçura do mundo de Thrity Umrigar (Editora Nova Fronteira, 2008 ) cujo lançamento foi marcado também pela presença da escritora indiana no Festival Literário de Florianópolis em maio deste ano. O livro, como todos os outros que li desta autora, é muito bem escrito e diferente de sua fama pelas obras anteriores, esse é um livro alegre, às vezes mesmo até engraçado, com um final feliz ou satisfatório.
A recomendação veio também porque sempre tive curiosidade sobre os problemas desenvolvidos com a identidade cultural de uma pessoa que passa a viver como imigrante. Por mais que se doure a pílula, por mais que se pinte a realidade de um país contra os aspectos de outro, a verdade é que a não ser que a sua imigração seja feita quando você ainda é muito jovem, quando você ainda está no processo de forjar uma identidade própria, a adaptação a um novo país assim como a adoção dos valores culturais da nova terra podem freqüentemente ser de difícil aceitação intima para o imigrante.
Thrity Umrigar é uma imigrante. Sensível como escritora e objetiva como jornalista, duas profissões que exerce nos Estado Unidos, ela está familiarizada e demonstra isso e em seus livros, com os problemas peculiares da identidade cultural, dos preconceitos, da saber-se de fora, do sentir-se de fora, assim como do saber e sentir-se acolhido. Ela conhece pela própria experiência todas as idiossincrasias culturais que perduram no imigrante, além de seu sotaque na língua estrangeira. Assim sua narrativa é verdadeira e aponta para os sentimentos mais delicados que envolvem a imigração.
A história deste livro é simples. Um rapaz, Sorab, nascido em Bombaim tem como sonho ir para os EUA. Conseguindo entrar para a universidade naquele país ele imigra, primeiro como estudante e depois permanece nos EUA a trabalho. Seguindo suas aptidões consegue desenvolver uma brilhante carreira. Neste meio tempo apaixona-se por uma americana com quem se casa e tem um filho. Seus pais, jovens ainda pelos padrões de hoje, o visitam regularmente. Até que o pai morre subitamente de um problema cardíaco. Sua mãe, Tehmina [Tammy para os americanos] se encontra então com uma difícil escolha: aos 66 anos precisa decidir se deverá imigrar para os EUA e ficar junto ao seu único filho, sua nora e neto, porém numa sociedade que a espanta e surpreende pela diferença de hábitos que seus habitantes demonstram; ou ficar no seu país natal, no apartamento onde sempre morou, rodeada das pessoas que conhece, que também ama e com quem sempre conviveu. A história se desenrola muito bem aprumada na inteligência e sensibilidade de Tehmina; que se encontra também aterrorizada por tomar esta decisão sozinha. Desde jovem todas as suas decisões eram balanceadas pela opinião do marido.
Muito rico em verdadeiras situações pelas quais um recém-chegado passa num país estrangeiro em que começa a viver, o romance de Thrity Umrigar mantém um ritmo muito bom por quase todo o livro. Minha única crítica é sobre o fechamento da história. A escritora parece ter adotado a visão americana de narrativa e leva os dois últimos capítulos fechando cada fio da meada com uma soluções redundantes para o bom leitor. Esses detalhes me lembraram os programas de televisão daquele país que conseguem resolver e solucionar os problemas mais amplos e delicados em comédias de 30 minutos. Fora esta necessidade de aferrolhar os tópicos, de não deixar nada para a imaginação do leitor, não tenho maiores críticas ao livro que certamente deve ser lido por todos aqueles que pensam em imigrar ou que conhecem alguém que o fez. Esse é um retrato sensível das muitas questões envolvendo o imigrante.
23/08/2008
A recomendação veio também porque sempre tive curiosidade sobre os problemas desenvolvidos com a identidade cultural de uma pessoa que passa a viver como imigrante. Por mais que se doure a pílula, por mais que se pinte a realidade de um país contra os aspectos de outro, a verdade é que a não ser que a sua imigração seja feita quando você ainda é muito jovem, quando você ainda está no processo de forjar uma identidade própria, a adaptação a um novo país assim como a adoção dos valores culturais da nova terra podem freqüentemente ser de difícil aceitação intima para o imigrante.
Thrity Umrigar é uma imigrante. Sensível como escritora e objetiva como jornalista, duas profissões que exerce nos Estado Unidos, ela está familiarizada e demonstra isso e em seus livros, com os problemas peculiares da identidade cultural, dos preconceitos, da saber-se de fora, do sentir-se de fora, assim como do saber e sentir-se acolhido. Ela conhece pela própria experiência todas as idiossincrasias culturais que perduram no imigrante, além de seu sotaque na língua estrangeira. Assim sua narrativa é verdadeira e aponta para os sentimentos mais delicados que envolvem a imigração.
A história deste livro é simples. Um rapaz, Sorab, nascido em Bombaim tem como sonho ir para os EUA. Conseguindo entrar para a universidade naquele país ele imigra, primeiro como estudante e depois permanece nos EUA a trabalho. Seguindo suas aptidões consegue desenvolver uma brilhante carreira. Neste meio tempo apaixona-se por uma americana com quem se casa e tem um filho. Seus pais, jovens ainda pelos padrões de hoje, o visitam regularmente. Até que o pai morre subitamente de um problema cardíaco. Sua mãe, Tehmina [Tammy para os americanos] se encontra então com uma difícil escolha: aos 66 anos precisa decidir se deverá imigrar para os EUA e ficar junto ao seu único filho, sua nora e neto, porém numa sociedade que a espanta e surpreende pela diferença de hábitos que seus habitantes demonstram; ou ficar no seu país natal, no apartamento onde sempre morou, rodeada das pessoas que conhece, que também ama e com quem sempre conviveu. A história se desenrola muito bem aprumada na inteligência e sensibilidade de Tehmina; que se encontra também aterrorizada por tomar esta decisão sozinha. Desde jovem todas as suas decisões eram balanceadas pela opinião do marido.
Muito rico em verdadeiras situações pelas quais um recém-chegado passa num país estrangeiro em que começa a viver, o romance de Thrity Umrigar mantém um ritmo muito bom por quase todo o livro. Minha única crítica é sobre o fechamento da história. A escritora parece ter adotado a visão americana de narrativa e leva os dois últimos capítulos fechando cada fio da meada com uma soluções redundantes para o bom leitor. Esses detalhes me lembraram os programas de televisão daquele país que conseguem resolver e solucionar os problemas mais amplos e delicados em comédias de 30 minutos. Fora esta necessidade de aferrolhar os tópicos, de não deixar nada para a imaginação do leitor, não tenho maiores críticas ao livro que certamente deve ser lido por todos aqueles que pensam em imigrar ou que conhecem alguém que o fez. Esse é um retrato sensível das muitas questões envolvendo o imigrante.
23/08/2008
March 5, 2022
Tehmina Sethna's husband, Rustom, has passed away. She is on a long visit to her son, Sorab, his American wife, Susan, and her beloved grandson Cavas in Ohio, and trying to decide whether she should return to Bombay or move to the US permanently. The visit is discomfiting on many levels. Rustom and Tehmina used to visit during the summer, for one, when the weather was warm and the family would spend most of their time outdoors. Tehmina is now staying with Sorab and Susan over the winter months, when the family spends most of their time indoors, in each other's faces. Second, Rustom had a way of making every one feel at ease, smoothing things over. His absence not only means the absence of a peacemaker; it also leads to new frictions arising, as Tehmina acutely feels her loss and cannot understand why Sorab and Susan feel she should be trying hard to get over Rustom's death. That Tehmina's stay is a test of sorts for whether she will make a more permanent move to the US also creates additional anxiety and tension.
If Today Be Sweet isn't just a novel about family dynamics, it's also a novel about trying to navigate two cultures. So many novels have been written about the immigrant experience but Umrigar has some lovely metaphors and vivid descriptions to highlight the bewildering contrast between two cultures:
"Tehmina loved being at the farmers' market. She felt comfortable and human, here. The dirty, stagnant water on the floor, the shouts of the brown-skinned, sweaty vendors competing for customers to sample their wares, even the smell of rotting fruit and fresh fish, all felt familiar to her...Touching the fruit and vegetables, occasionally haggling with the vendors, tasting their offered samples of cut fruit, all made her feel human, like the market was rooted in a section of the world she still recognised and lived in. What a contrast it was to the antiseptic, air-conditioned, clean, brightly lit supermarket where the children shopped for their groceries. A place where tomatoes and zucchini came wrapped in plastic trays and where people looked at you funny if you touched a piece of fruit and held it up to your nose. Not that smelling the fruit made any difference - none of the fruits and vegetables in the grocery stores of America had any scent or flavour to them, anyway. It was as if the country was so enthralled with size and colour - the bananas and the peaches and the apples were all bigger than anything Tehmina had ever seen in Bombay - that it had forgotten that fruit was more than decoration. To bite into an American apple or an orange was to taste disappointment. Nothing burst with flavour, nothing tasted as sweet or as tangy the way fruit did in Bombay. Even the roses of America had no perfume to them, a fact that Tehmina still couldn't accept."
"Rain and snow. The perfect way to describe the difference between Bombay and America, Tehmina thought. One as loud, chaotic, tumultuous, and erratic. The other was calm, antiseptic, genteel and polite. So ironic it is, she thought. In Bombay, where everything is dangerous, people live their lives binds, fearlessly, almost thoughtlessly. Here, where there is no reason to fear anything, these people are afraid of life itself. How can they survive like this, watching and weighing everything? From terrorism to germs to the flu, these people were frightened by everything. A whole country going into a panic because there was a shortage of the flu vaccine. And sealing their pain pill bottles in such a tamper-proof way that no adult with arthritis could ever open one of them. Even their drinking straws came wrapped in plastic. Whereas in Bombay, dear God, we breathed the foulest hair and ate food at roadside stalls where they washed the plates in water as brown as mud."
"The simple act of eating an ice-cream cone on the streets and not being followed by the hungry eyes of a hundred children was a freedom, a luxury she had never experienced on the streets of Bombay. In America, she didn't feel leered at by young, sex-starved men, was not self-conscious about her breasts, was not miserably aware of her female body, didn't carry herself in that tense, guarded way that she did back home."
And it is Tehmina's refusal to conform to American norms - norms on grief, norms on minding one's own business - that leads her to intervene when she finds Sorab and Susan's neighbour ill-treating her kids, creating an unanticipated impact on her family and Tehmina herself.
A lovely, lovely read.
If Today Be Sweet isn't just a novel about family dynamics, it's also a novel about trying to navigate two cultures. So many novels have been written about the immigrant experience but Umrigar has some lovely metaphors and vivid descriptions to highlight the bewildering contrast between two cultures:
"Tehmina loved being at the farmers' market. She felt comfortable and human, here. The dirty, stagnant water on the floor, the shouts of the brown-skinned, sweaty vendors competing for customers to sample their wares, even the smell of rotting fruit and fresh fish, all felt familiar to her...Touching the fruit and vegetables, occasionally haggling with the vendors, tasting their offered samples of cut fruit, all made her feel human, like the market was rooted in a section of the world she still recognised and lived in. What a contrast it was to the antiseptic, air-conditioned, clean, brightly lit supermarket where the children shopped for their groceries. A place where tomatoes and zucchini came wrapped in plastic trays and where people looked at you funny if you touched a piece of fruit and held it up to your nose. Not that smelling the fruit made any difference - none of the fruits and vegetables in the grocery stores of America had any scent or flavour to them, anyway. It was as if the country was so enthralled with size and colour - the bananas and the peaches and the apples were all bigger than anything Tehmina had ever seen in Bombay - that it had forgotten that fruit was more than decoration. To bite into an American apple or an orange was to taste disappointment. Nothing burst with flavour, nothing tasted as sweet or as tangy the way fruit did in Bombay. Even the roses of America had no perfume to them, a fact that Tehmina still couldn't accept."
"Rain and snow. The perfect way to describe the difference between Bombay and America, Tehmina thought. One as loud, chaotic, tumultuous, and erratic. The other was calm, antiseptic, genteel and polite. So ironic it is, she thought. In Bombay, where everything is dangerous, people live their lives binds, fearlessly, almost thoughtlessly. Here, where there is no reason to fear anything, these people are afraid of life itself. How can they survive like this, watching and weighing everything? From terrorism to germs to the flu, these people were frightened by everything. A whole country going into a panic because there was a shortage of the flu vaccine. And sealing their pain pill bottles in such a tamper-proof way that no adult with arthritis could ever open one of them. Even their drinking straws came wrapped in plastic. Whereas in Bombay, dear God, we breathed the foulest hair and ate food at roadside stalls where they washed the plates in water as brown as mud."
"The simple act of eating an ice-cream cone on the streets and not being followed by the hungry eyes of a hundred children was a freedom, a luxury she had never experienced on the streets of Bombay. In America, she didn't feel leered at by young, sex-starved men, was not self-conscious about her breasts, was not miserably aware of her female body, didn't carry herself in that tense, guarded way that she did back home."
And it is Tehmina's refusal to conform to American norms - norms on grief, norms on minding one's own business - that leads her to intervene when she finds Sorab and Susan's neighbour ill-treating her kids, creating an unanticipated impact on her family and Tehmina herself.
A lovely, lovely read.
February 9, 2019
“If Today Be Sweet” is a line from Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet,” and it supplies a fitting title to Thirty Umrigar’s 2007 novel because that poem was a particular inspiration to one of the main characters, but even more so because this is, at its heart, a truly sweet-spirited story.
Tehmina Sethna, recently widowed, leaves her home In Bombay to grieve with her son, his American wife, and her grandson, who live in Cleveland, Ohio. Although Tehmina finds love and support from her American family, she recognizes that the living arrangement in tenuous and the longer she stays, the harder her decision becomes. She longs for the familiar environs and cultures of Bombay, where she has lived all of her life, but without Rustom, her deceased husband, she isn’t sure if she can cope. On the other hand, even though her son and his wife, Sorab and Susan, encourage her to stay in Cleveland, she is aware that they have their own personal and professional problems and does not wish to be a burden.
Compounding Tehmina’s strife and confusion, she witnesses what she regards as cruel and negligent behavior by of one of the neighbors toward her two young children. She feels compelled to do something but does not know what and is reluctant to involve Sorab and Susan, much less her grandson, Cavas, in other people’s affairs. Assailed by conflicting inclinations, the clearest voice that comes through is that of Rustom, who nudges her into action. When Tehmina intervenes in the lives of the children next door, she becomes involved in many and more complex ways than she ever expected, and worries that her kind act could make things more difficult for everybody.
“If Today Be Sweet” captures Tehmina’s sense of cultural alienation and her ambivalence about how and where she will live after her husband’s death. Despite the emotional honesty with which Umrigar depicts her characters, the tone of the writing and the somewhat contrived storyline signals that there’s no danger of anything other than a happy ending. “If Today Be Sweet” is a bit on the saccharine side.
Tehmina Sethna, recently widowed, leaves her home In Bombay to grieve with her son, his American wife, and her grandson, who live in Cleveland, Ohio. Although Tehmina finds love and support from her American family, she recognizes that the living arrangement in tenuous and the longer she stays, the harder her decision becomes. She longs for the familiar environs and cultures of Bombay, where she has lived all of her life, but without Rustom, her deceased husband, she isn’t sure if she can cope. On the other hand, even though her son and his wife, Sorab and Susan, encourage her to stay in Cleveland, she is aware that they have their own personal and professional problems and does not wish to be a burden.
Compounding Tehmina’s strife and confusion, she witnesses what she regards as cruel and negligent behavior by of one of the neighbors toward her two young children. She feels compelled to do something but does not know what and is reluctant to involve Sorab and Susan, much less her grandson, Cavas, in other people’s affairs. Assailed by conflicting inclinations, the clearest voice that comes through is that of Rustom, who nudges her into action. When Tehmina intervenes in the lives of the children next door, she becomes involved in many and more complex ways than she ever expected, and worries that her kind act could make things more difficult for everybody.
“If Today Be Sweet” captures Tehmina’s sense of cultural alienation and her ambivalence about how and where she will live after her husband’s death. Despite the emotional honesty with which Umrigar depicts her characters, the tone of the writing and the somewhat contrived storyline signals that there’s no danger of anything other than a happy ending. “If Today Be Sweet” is a bit on the saccharine side.
August 28, 2022
This book is so good that I have put off writing the review for a day. I cannot do justice to the book! I got so immersed into the character of Tehmina Sethna who had only lost her much loved husband one year ago. I recognized myself in her to the nth degree.
Tehmina was visting her only son's family after a long plane trip starting from Bombay, India and ending in a suburb in Cleveland, Ohio. Her family are Parsi, originally immigrants from Iran to India, and a small minority in India. The Parsi in India are know for their wonderful food and Zoroastriansm which I see shining through this book. They believe in good deeds, good thoughts and good beliefs.
There are two boys living over the fence to her son's house. The mother is mean to her children, verbally and physically abusing them. Tehmina really wants to help the little boys, will she get her son's family in trouble if she does, in Bombay, she would not hesitate but she is in Ohio and not sure if she should follow her heart or refrain and protect her son' family from trouble.
When things esculate to danger for the boys, she makes her choice. Her son wants her to stay in Ohio instead of returning to India. There are many things to consider. Follow the story to the end and find out the conclusion.
If you have every wondered if you need to do something good that might cost in several ways. Please read this book. Often the print size of her books are too small for me, so am ordering more of her books on audio. I really wish that I could have the honor of sitting down and discussing life with the author. That may not happen but I am going read everything written by her.
Tehmina was visting her only son's family after a long plane trip starting from Bombay, India and ending in a suburb in Cleveland, Ohio. Her family are Parsi, originally immigrants from Iran to India, and a small minority in India. The Parsi in India are know for their wonderful food and Zoroastriansm which I see shining through this book. They believe in good deeds, good thoughts and good beliefs.
There are two boys living over the fence to her son's house. The mother is mean to her children, verbally and physically abusing them. Tehmina really wants to help the little boys, will she get her son's family in trouble if she does, in Bombay, she would not hesitate but she is in Ohio and not sure if she should follow her heart or refrain and protect her son' family from trouble.
When things esculate to danger for the boys, she makes her choice. Her son wants her to stay in Ohio instead of returning to India. There are many things to consider. Follow the story to the end and find out the conclusion.
If you have every wondered if you need to do something good that might cost in several ways. Please read this book. Often the print size of her books are too small for me, so am ordering more of her books on audio. I really wish that I could have the honor of sitting down and discussing life with the author. That may not happen but I am going read everything written by her.
September 19, 2017
Ms. Umrigar does not disappoint. Once again she presents a story of love, family, compassion, forgiveness, and multi-cultural acceptance.
Here we meet Tehmina Sethna, newly bereaved by the death of her husband, a Parsi woman visiting her son Sorab, his blonde American wife, Susan, and their son Cookie in the suburbs of Ohio. Her family wants her to stay, to live with them, to leave India behind. For her part, Tehmina is on the fence. She cannot seem to come to a decision and also cannot understand why they don't see how difficult it is for her to do so. How can she leave the apartment where she nurtured her beautiful marriage, her homeland with its brilliant color, noise, heat and tumult? But at the same time, how can she leave the only family that she has, her beautiful grandson who is her liver, the son who is her heart?
On her way to making her decision, Tehmina meddles in the affairs of others, captures the hearts of her son's colleagues and boss, and becomes a true Christmas hero. Most of all, she comes to realize that today is all she has, for tomorrow is promised to no one, and yesterday is gone and out of reach. Finally, it is her adoring departed husband, himself, who helps her make her choice.
If Today Be Sweet is brilliant, captivating, peopled by real, true characters that the reader wants to know. I love this author's work, and this book is no exception. Read If Today Be Sweet and all of Ms. Umrigar's work. You will be so glad you did.
Here we meet Tehmina Sethna, newly bereaved by the death of her husband, a Parsi woman visiting her son Sorab, his blonde American wife, Susan, and their son Cookie in the suburbs of Ohio. Her family wants her to stay, to live with them, to leave India behind. For her part, Tehmina is on the fence. She cannot seem to come to a decision and also cannot understand why they don't see how difficult it is for her to do so. How can she leave the apartment where she nurtured her beautiful marriage, her homeland with its brilliant color, noise, heat and tumult? But at the same time, how can she leave the only family that she has, her beautiful grandson who is her liver, the son who is her heart?
On her way to making her decision, Tehmina meddles in the affairs of others, captures the hearts of her son's colleagues and boss, and becomes a true Christmas hero. Most of all, she comes to realize that today is all she has, for tomorrow is promised to no one, and yesterday is gone and out of reach. Finally, it is her adoring departed husband, himself, who helps her make her choice.
If Today Be Sweet is brilliant, captivating, peopled by real, true characters that the reader wants to know. I love this author's work, and this book is no exception. Read If Today Be Sweet and all of Ms. Umrigar's work. You will be so glad you did.
February 22, 2021
From beginning to end, the dilemma faced by Tehmina, a 66-year-old is whether to return to her home in India or stay in the U.S. permanently with her son and his family. The story is repetitive as she weighs the pros and cons for 300 pages.
It feels like the author is using the main character to convey her own feelings that India has many pros and America has many cons. But I think she's trying to say there's a trade-off in leaving your home country forever.
The characters who are good are very good indeed (e.g. Tehmina's friend Eva and Sorab's corporate director, Joe Canfield) while the characters who are bad are horrid (e.g. Sorab's new boss Grace Butler and Tara, the single-mother next door). Yes, that's a nod to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow - look it up.
There are some oddities in the book including Mumbai still being referred to as Bombay many years after the city's name change. Also, all the American females described have blonde hair. Okay, one is a redhead. How stereotypical! Most of the main characters are Zoroastrian, a religion that doesn't involve worshipping Christ yet they all celebrate Christmas in the U.S. Susan who was born and raised in the United States named her son Cavas, an Indian name I assume and nicknames him Cookie instead of something more acceptable in America, the country he was born.
It feels like the author is using the main character to convey her own feelings that India has many pros and America has many cons. But I think she's trying to say there's a trade-off in leaving your home country forever.
The characters who are good are very good indeed (e.g. Tehmina's friend Eva and Sorab's corporate director, Joe Canfield) while the characters who are bad are horrid (e.g. Sorab's new boss Grace Butler and Tara, the single-mother next door). Yes, that's a nod to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow - look it up.
There are some oddities in the book including Mumbai still being referred to as Bombay many years after the city's name change. Also, all the American females described have blonde hair. Okay, one is a redhead. How stereotypical! Most of the main characters are Zoroastrian, a religion that doesn't involve worshipping Christ yet they all celebrate Christmas in the U.S. Susan who was born and raised in the United States named her son Cavas, an Indian name I assume and nicknames him Cookie instead of something more acceptable in America, the country he was born.
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