Relit: How to Rekindle Yourself in the Darkness of Compassion Fatigue

by Peter J. Dudley (Editor), Antoinette LeCouteur (editor)

Compassion fatigue is one of the most pervasive and least discussed traumas that nearly every caregiver feels at one time or another. Millions of people choose a helper profession (everything from nurse to lawyer to therapist to veterinarian) because they care deeply and feel called to service. Millions more are thrust into unpaid caregiving roles due to illness, injury, or the natural course of aging.

Nearly everyone in a heart-based role has experienced some sort of compassion fatigue or burnout. And nearly everyone feels guilt and shame for their fatigue. They are caregivers; shouldn't they be unstoppable and invincible?

This book brings together experts from across a wide variety of professions, backgrounds, and cultures to tell their stories of experiencing compassion fatigue and to give practical, useful, actionable advice and solutions on how to build personal resilience, how to avoid compassion fatigue, and how to rekindle your own spirit when compassion fatigue and burnout drag you down into the darkness.

288 pages, Paperback

Published November 13, 2024

About the author

Peter rarely uses his electrical engineering degree from UC Berkeley these days. Instead, he writes adventure and fantasy fiction, short stories, and poetry for people with a sense of adventure (or a sense of humor). He has a day job as an executive in Corporate Social Responsibility, running a huge corporate volunteer program and the nation's largest employee charitable giving campaign. In his career, he's worked on the first smart phone, the first PDA, and the first stealth bomber. A Connecticut native, he has been in the San Francisco area for most of his life and is the proud father of two fantastic kids: one is an Eagle Scout and the other is a transgender woman.

Reviews

[Reader Views · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite the horrible burnout and exhaustion that caregivers face throughout the world, few have the confidence to say how difficult their work is. “Relit: How to Rekindle Yourself in the Darkness of Compassion Fatigue” edited by Peter Dudley, founder of Gray Bear Publications, offers strategies for coping with this often-disregarded and undervalued concern, which normally reveals itself as anything from acute exhaustion to lack of lasting joy.

Dudley puts together various views from several professionals, including Allison K. Wyman who begins by detailing how caring for her cancer-stricken parents left her numb and depressed. Aside from expressing how rewarding it was to care for them, she also notes the cost involved- seeing the reality and vision of her life quickly become blurry on the horizon.

In light of her experiences caring for cancer patients at the Cancer Support Community as well as her sick brother, certified marriage and family therapist Margaret Stauffer provides a profound explanation of why it is just as important for caregivers to be kind to themselves as it is to find the time and energy to care for others. Other testimonials include Faith Albright’s, the founder of One Living Sanctuary, a sanctuary for rescued farm animals in the San Francisco Bay Area. She describes how she went from a state of near burnout to a happy and fulfilled career by finding balance and engaging in mindfulness practices.

This special compilation of transformative discoveries, lessons, and experiences gathered from different experts around the world aims to help caregivers across all sectors understand that they are on a well-traveled route, in good company with millions of others who have gone before them. Its captivating poetry, vivid memories, and inventive approaches blend with real-life experiences for the insight of the overburdened caregiver. “Relit” effortlessly transports readers to a world where its participants are continuously battling depression and loneliness while also in a desperate desire to help their loved ones emotionally and physically. As the book challenges standard assumptions and practices, it meticulously outlines tried and tested techniques that are crucial to self-discovery and healing.

“Relit: How to Rekindle Yourself in the Darkness of Compassion Fatigue,” by Peter Dudley is an educational tool that all caregivers should read to understand how to create a better environment for themselves. With academic support and a holistic, personal perspective, the book provides exercises, tactics, and real-world examples to help readers identify negative patterns and determine how to bring joy back into their lives.

[Lauren Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of meeting Peter Dudley, Antoinette LeCouteur, and Dennis Brozzo at the San Francisco Writers Conference earlier this month, specifically Friday night at Sips & Stories. I enjoyed talking with them, becoming intrigued enough to buy two of their displayed books: Relit, and the other is a wonderful poetry collection, Twist, by Antoinette and Peter, which I’m currently reading.

Relit consists of real-life stories by several experts around the world who share their experiences dealing with compassion fatigue. They offer sage advice for “rekindling your own spirit when compassion fatigue and burnout drags you down into the darkness.” The intensity of caregiving will vary for each individual, but this doesn’t justify downplaying any amount of stress that manifests itself mentally or physically.

The stories evoke a myriad of emotions. They’re touching, heartbreaking, inspiring, and relatable in the sense that most of you have or will face compassion fatigue at some point in your life. My husband, his brother, and I went through a tough time a year ago in the last several months of their father’s life. My father-in-law lived for a century and was always active, enjoying life to its fullest. So, towards the end, his decline was difficult to witness, weighing heavy on us not only emotionally, but it also took a toll on our bodies.

I highly recommend this collection that you can read at your own pace, one story a day, or all at once to wind down an evening, which was my preference. Either way, the experiences will tug at your heart, and the wisdom and guidance is to be absorbed and savored. Relit is truly a book to keep nearby.

[Peter Dudley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am the editor, so of course I think it's good.