Raven: My year of dating dangerously

by Monica Porter

Monica Porter, a sixty-year-old grandmother, thinks her sex life is over when she is ditched by her long-term partner. But then she joins a dating website, and finds that her age acts as an aphrodisiac to hordes of highly-sexed young men, who fantasise about ‘hot older women’.

Monica throws caution to the wind, as she embarks on one exciting assignation after the other, having the wildest time of her life. Naturally her sons would be horrified at the risks she takes, not to mention mortified by her escapades with men younger than themselves. But it’s not a problem, as she has no intention of telling them.

But there is another hazard to consider… not to her physical being, but to her psyche. Gradually her year of dating dangerously affects her entire outlook on relationships with men, and not in a good way. How will it all end? And will it have been worth the price?

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

192 pages, Paperback

First published March 13, 2014

Reviews

[Petra X · Rating 3 out of 5]

This isn't a book about a good-looking older woman who can still pull the young guys and who is having fun. That's what Monica Porter wants you to think. That's how she promoted the book. That's even what she probably believes.

Raven, 60 and looking fine thinks if not now, when? And embarks on the life of a promiscuous teenager swiping left and right and sexting on her phone. Tinder fits the bill and it's the younger guys, the under-25s she goes for. It's the hard body that counts, and the ability to go all night. She is disappointed by the bodies of older men and cares nothing for their experience. She can teach the young ones kinks!

She obsessively finds, wines and screws these young guys just for the night or sometimes more than once. Sometimes more than one in a night. They are disposable, she doesn't care about them, but she cares that they care about her and wants them to contact her again. She wants to be wanted and although she won't admit it, she wants love, but she deludes herself that all she wants is sex. But why? What does she get out of it. Not what you think.

Once in a while, she meets an older man, as well-off and as cultured as she is. She thinks this could be a relationship. This could be love. She is always disappointed when all they want is sex. The men are either from Tinder or some really rich guy your whorish friend who likes 'gifts' has introduced you to. Whatever game you play you can never change the rules halfway through.

So what does she get out of it? Nothing. Why this is one of the saddest memoirs I have ever read, is that in a giveaway of a few lines hidden in some tale, Monica says she can't orgasm unless she imagines some deep dark fantasy scenario. And with the sex life she's chosen, she never gets close enough to anyone to confide her secret desires and therefore the sex is obviously just an incredibly frustrating prelude to a sad and frenzied solo sex life.

One wonders what mental trick it is that drives her to punish herself in such an awful, aching, soul-destroying way and then delude herself that she's having fun?

I don't know what stars to give it. So I'll go for 3 stars. Middling.
Apropos of nothing. This author is a journalist for a daily rag (Daily Mail) that prints all PR releases about any celebrity. Does that surprise you?
__________

First thoughts when I had only read a bit of the book. Not worth reading.

It's even sadder because I don't believe a word of her saying she enjoys the sex so much.

She gives it away in couple of throw-away lines early on, perhaps not realising just how much she has told about herself and perhaps being totally non-self aware as well. I'm not going to give it away until I finish the book and write a proper review though. Mostly just in case I'm wrong. I specialise in this, I've been doing it for years. I tell myself being wrong keeps me humble, but that's just cognitive dissonance speaking.

[Prinnie ‘Renée’ FD · Rating 1 out of 5]

There's absolutely nothing provocative, interesting or exciting about this memoir. It is neither inspiring nor dangerous. She writes about her sexual encounters in a detached, shallow way. Depth beyond the characters age, height, weight and city of origin would have been good. It reads like she writes for newspaper articles, it was like x10 little mini reviews on Uber except it was on her detached clinical sex romp encounters 20 something year olds. In fact there’s probably more warmth written in most people’s Uber reviews.
I was looking forward to some delicious holiday reading sauciness but it was just a sad pathetic read from an author I thought would have greater self awareness and insight. Struggled to finish it hoping the ending would show some sort of enlightenment but no.

[Laura Summers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this on a single train journey from Edinburgh to London - lively, entertaining and funny at times. This is a true story which sadly reflects the reality of dating in a large City. I think what made this better than similar auto-biographical accounts of this nature is Monica's lack of self-pity and her zest for expoloring the world of internet dating. She catapults from one relationship to another with no real sense of attachment, and this keeps the pace lively and interesting. A fun, light read.

[Lore · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this would be fun, but it turned out to be repetitious and sort of offensive. I don't expect every character in a book to be likeable. But this author felt free to insult people's age, appearance, and to characterize them by race. Because this wasn't fiction, but autobiography, I could never support her. And it did bother me that she put herself in dangerous situations repeatedly, without any self awareness. There are better books out there on the same subject.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Monica Porter puts the sex in sexagenarian

A real-life Daily Mail feature writer found herself single at sixty and embarked on internet dating (and later Tinder) as an experiment. Many casual encounters later she wrote a book about it. Having discovered that many young men have a ‘thing’ for older women, Monica courageously (and casting aside inhibitions) entered into late life wild-oat sowing. The resulting account is neither smutty nor cringey. And it may give a lot of older women hope that, despite the anno domini, there may be much fun and satisfaction to be had, provided they entertain no expectation of emotional connection or true love. That said, Monica does look some 20 years younger than her chronological age so would naturally attract admiring looks from men of every generation.

[David G Donaldson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Self indulgent. Self centred. Labels the men she encounters as testesterone driven, selfish and shallow but has no difficulty in selling herself in exchange for a good meal at their expense or a night out with a young stud. Thinks of her own feelings but not theirs. If this is feminine liberation I am glad she failed to find such emotionally shallow behaviour a satisfactory way of living.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thoughtful and entertaining, but also, anxiety-inducing. Even as I was laughing at her comic stories, I kept waiting for "the other shoe" to drop. Society has conditioned me enough to believe in the potentially serious consequences of sex with strangers that I found it hard to believe that she was never attacked, robbed, or worse. In some ways, my "review" proves her point.

[Alison · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love the concept of this book as I am doing same thing as an “ Older Woman “.
I can relate to most things.
But come on you’re writing of your sexual experience where’s the sex !!! It’s not descriptive enough haha.
I’m sure it would have made it a 5 Star
I guess my memoirs will be down n dirty
But still enjoyed it

[Jimmie Kepler · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good read

I enjoyed reading the book. The insights gained from this book are enlightening. I probably will not go near a dating sight even though I'm a widower. It's well written and worth the purchase price.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 Fabulous 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

An enjoyable entertaining recount of the author's year of internet dating. Admirably frank and unapologetic the author relates her story in a totally honest manner with some laugh out loud moments. One very gutsy lady.

[Kelli Oliver George · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting read!

[Delyse Richards · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an entertaining well written book recounting the authoress' year of internet dating at the age of 60. She approached the whole scene with sufficient humour and libido to extract the maximum enjoyment from her encounters however sleezy they became!

[Lindsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

entertaining enough

[Winifred · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely dangerous

An easy and entertaining read. Not sure what I think about these adventures but I admire the woman's spirit and bravery!