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After Zero
Elise carries a notebook full of tallies, each page marking a day spent at her new public school, each stroke of her pencil marking a word spoken. A word that can't be taken back. Five tally marks isn't so bad. Two is pretty good. But zero? Zero is perfect. Zero means no wrong answers called out in class, no secrets accidentally spilled, no conversations to agonize over at night when sleep is far away.
But now months have passed, and Elise isn't sure she could speak even if she wanted to―not to keep her only friend, Mel, from drifting further away―or to ask if anyone else has seen her English teacher's stuffed raven come to life. Then, the discovery of a shocking family secret helps Elise realize that her silence might just be the key to unlocking everything she's ever hoped for...
But now months have passed, and Elise isn't sure she could speak even if she wanted to―not to keep her only friend, Mel, from drifting further away―or to ask if anyone else has seen her English teacher's stuffed raven come to life. Then, the discovery of a shocking family secret helps Elise realize that her silence might just be the key to unlocking everything she's ever hoped for...
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First published September 4, 2018
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About the author
Christina Collins
2 books83 followersChristina Collins grew up in Massachusetts and lives in Northern Ireland, where she’s always on the lookout for castle ruins and secret gardens. She earned her PhD in creative writing from Queen's University Belfast and her MFA in creative writing from George Mason University.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 266 reviews
April 22, 2019
You know those people on Twitter who are always yammering about how they want to “see themselves” in books? Well, this novel confirmed that I’m definitely not one of those people. Just like the main character, I had selective mutism as a child. I’ve never seen it portrayed accurately in any kind of media before. Reading about it mostly reminded me of how miserable I was. I think I’d prefer to leave the unpleasant stuff in my real life, thank you very much.
I can confirm that the author did her research. This is an accurate portrayal of mutism. My experience with it was pretty much exactly the same as Elise’s.
After Zero is a story about secrets. Elise is afraid to tell anyone that she struggles to speak and that she occasionally sees odd things—like her teacher’s stuffed raven coming to life. Elise’s mother also has secrets. She keeps her daughter isolated for reasons that Elise does not understand. Until recently, Elise was not allowed to go to school or attend parties. Her mother sometimes disappears for days. There are rooms in Elise's own house where her mother doesn't allow her to go. When Elise stumbles across a box of photos and children’s toys, she discovers that her mother may have a troubling past.
Why does this book not get more hype? It’s really good! It’s well-researched, beautifully written, and full of vivid imagery. I love the magical/fantasy elements. Since the story is told from Elise’s perspective, the reader is never sure if something is really happening, or if the character just thinks it’s happening. The plot isn’t action-packed, but there are plenty of twists to keep you guessing.
Elise suffers through some heartbreaking problems. Her issues are explored realistically and in-depth, but they’re not overwhelming. It’s not a depressing story. Despite her circumstances and mental health issues, Elise manages to make friends.
This is the kind of book that needs to be required reading in schools. Elise has to deal with teachers and classmates who don’t understand her illness and think she’s being deliberately difficult. She can’t advocate for herself easily because she can’t speak. Books like this one promote empathy and patience. The world could use more of those things. I think most quiet, lonely children will be able to relate to Elise.
I really don’t have any complaints about this book. If you like the magical elements in your stories to be fully explained, you might be disappointed. The weirdness didn’t bother me, though. It keeps things interesting and fits Elise’s character.
This is one of my favorite books of 2019 (so far). If you haven’t read it yet, what are you waiting for?
Do you like opinions, giveaways, and bookish nonsense?
I have a blog for that.
I can confirm that the author did her research. This is an accurate portrayal of mutism. My experience with it was pretty much exactly the same as Elise’s.
“It’s amazing how few words a person can get by with.” – After Zero
After Zero is a story about secrets. Elise is afraid to tell anyone that she struggles to speak and that she occasionally sees odd things—like her teacher’s stuffed raven coming to life. Elise’s mother also has secrets. She keeps her daughter isolated for reasons that Elise does not understand. Until recently, Elise was not allowed to go to school or attend parties. Her mother sometimes disappears for days. There are rooms in Elise's own house where her mother doesn't allow her to go. When Elise stumbles across a box of photos and children’s toys, she discovers that her mother may have a troubling past.
Why does this book not get more hype? It’s really good! It’s well-researched, beautifully written, and full of vivid imagery. I love the magical/fantasy elements. Since the story is told from Elise’s perspective, the reader is never sure if something is really happening, or if the character just thinks it’s happening. The plot isn’t action-packed, but there are plenty of twists to keep you guessing.
Elise suffers through some heartbreaking problems. Her issues are explored realistically and in-depth, but they’re not overwhelming. It’s not a depressing story. Despite her circumstances and mental health issues, Elise manages to make friends.
This is the kind of book that needs to be required reading in schools. Elise has to deal with teachers and classmates who don’t understand her illness and think she’s being deliberately difficult. She can’t advocate for herself easily because she can’t speak. Books like this one promote empathy and patience. The world could use more of those things. I think most quiet, lonely children will be able to relate to Elise.
“It all comes down to the first thing you think of when you wake up. That first image or idea before the filtering of conscious thought takes over, while you’re still in between. Whatever you think of, that’s the reason you get up in the first place. That’s the reason you get out of bed, into your clothes, into your shoes, and out the door.” – After Zero
I really don’t have any complaints about this book. If you like the magical elements in your stories to be fully explained, you might be disappointed. The weirdness didn’t bother me, though. It keeps things interesting and fits Elise’s character.
This is one of my favorite books of 2019 (so far). If you haven’t read it yet, what are you waiting for?
Do you like opinions, giveaways, and bookish nonsense?
I have a blog for that.
March 22, 2018
This book felt like a small mirror into the quietest parts of myself. Those spaces within the heart that echo and pull at so many unsaid words. A mirror that sees and listens, a mirror that understands. I cried more than once while reading Elise's story. And if you've ever felt too quiet, if you've ever felt like the world has taken too much and words are too much more to give, or perhaps if you just need a story of finding your voice, AFTER ZERO is for you.
I could not put this book down, and again--I cried! Twice! That's rare for me, so please, do yourself a favor and pick this book up for yourself or a Middle Grader who maybe doesn't speak up every much, but their eyes have a whole lot to say. Highly recommend!!!
I could not put this book down, and again--I cried! Twice! That's rare for me, so please, do yourself a favor and pick this book up for yourself or a Middle Grader who maybe doesn't speak up every much, but their eyes have a whole lot to say. Highly recommend!!!
March 31, 2018
We all say things we wish we could take back — the stupid joke no one laughed at, the mispronounced word, the awkward conversation with a crush. They’re the comments that haunt you at night, the ones that replay in your mind’s eye over and over until you feel like your own brain is determined to drive you crazy.
Well, Elise has figured out the solution: don’t talk. Not just be careful what you say — don’t say anything at all. Elise has been working on lessening her daily spoken-word count for months now, ever since starting public school. The ultimate goal? Zero words spoken. It’s the only way to be sure that she doesn’t embarrass herself, or let slip someone else’s secret, or hurt someone’s feelings.
The question is, what happens after Elise gets to zero? She used to think that was when the game would be over. But she’s starting to realize that at some point her silence stopped being her choice, and became something she can’t control. As events in her life spiral rapidly toward disaster, will Elise ever be able to speak up?
As a homeschooler and a quiet kid myself (uh…I mean, before I did that whole growing-up thing), Elise’s struggle with a specific symptom of anxiety — selective mutism — rings so true to me. I remember having days where I wondered if I would ever want to speak again. Staying quiet was a way to hide in plain sight. Christina Collins captures this feeling with delicacy and subtlety, and it isn’t a topic I’ve seen addressed so directly in middle grade before. It’s so believable, the way Elise’s silence slowly begins to control her, instead of the other way around. I also appreciated how Collins addresses the misconceptions about mutism — particularly the ideas that it only happens to people who have been through a traumatic incident, suffered abuse, etc., and that only total mutism “counts.”
At first Elise herself believes both these things. She downplays her own struggle, her own pain, because she doesn’t believe she’s experienced anything that justifies having a problem. She can’t seek help, because what has she been through that’s bad enough for her to deserve that much attention? I think many middle grade readers will benefit from After Zero‘s gentle message that anxiety and other emotional problems can happen to anyone, even people who haven’t been through anything “that bad.”
The story also blends in a touch of magic, which will broaden its appeal to middle grade readers who normally stick to fantasy. This is a moving, heartfelt, and well-paced story that will be especially meaningful to readers who struggle with anxiety.
Well, Elise has figured out the solution: don’t talk. Not just be careful what you say — don’t say anything at all. Elise has been working on lessening her daily spoken-word count for months now, ever since starting public school. The ultimate goal? Zero words spoken. It’s the only way to be sure that she doesn’t embarrass herself, or let slip someone else’s secret, or hurt someone’s feelings.
The question is, what happens after Elise gets to zero? She used to think that was when the game would be over. But she’s starting to realize that at some point her silence stopped being her choice, and became something she can’t control. As events in her life spiral rapidly toward disaster, will Elise ever be able to speak up?
As a homeschooler and a quiet kid myself (uh…I mean, before I did that whole growing-up thing), Elise’s struggle with a specific symptom of anxiety — selective mutism — rings so true to me. I remember having days where I wondered if I would ever want to speak again. Staying quiet was a way to hide in plain sight. Christina Collins captures this feeling with delicacy and subtlety, and it isn’t a topic I’ve seen addressed so directly in middle grade before. It’s so believable, the way Elise’s silence slowly begins to control her, instead of the other way around. I also appreciated how Collins addresses the misconceptions about mutism — particularly the ideas that it only happens to people who have been through a traumatic incident, suffered abuse, etc., and that only total mutism “counts.”
At first Elise herself believes both these things. She downplays her own struggle, her own pain, because she doesn’t believe she’s experienced anything that justifies having a problem. She can’t seek help, because what has she been through that’s bad enough for her to deserve that much attention? I think many middle grade readers will benefit from After Zero‘s gentle message that anxiety and other emotional problems can happen to anyone, even people who haven’t been through anything “that bad.”
The story also blends in a touch of magic, which will broaden its appeal to middle grade readers who normally stick to fantasy. This is a moving, heartfelt, and well-paced story that will be especially meaningful to readers who struggle with anxiety.
May 2, 2018
I loved this book. such a unique retelling and a MH issue I knew very little about.
July 12, 2019
I didn’t even know they had a name for it but it all makes sense after reading this novel, Selective Mutism. An anxiety disorder, where a child speaks in a normal fashion at home (or any comfortable, relaxed, safe environment) but in some social situations, that same child, will refuse to speak. When Elise is unleashed into public schooling, she finds that speaking can get her in trouble and perhaps being silent is the way to go.
Elise had heard stories from Mel, her neighbor about how great school was. Mel talked about school and her “school friends,” so when Elise’s mom quit homeschooling her, Elise was excited to finally be able to go to middle school.
Unfortunately, school turned out not to be as much fun as she thought. It wasn’t long before Elise found herself in hot water. School was a new social situation for Elise and she didn’t know the rules. She wasn’t hurting her peers on purpose but no one had told her the etiquette and now, Elise decided it was just easier to not say anything. It was better to be quiet than to say the wrong thing so, off went her voice and on, went her tally marks in her book.
I could feel the stress as Elise struggled with dodging answering the questions that were addressed in the classroom at school. She knew the answers yet to answer them would create a tally in her book, the book that she felt needed to be blank. Even when her peers addressed her or harassed her for her silence, she felt safe under the cover of her book. She wanted no tally marks, and every day she worked towards that goal.
I liked that she didn’t run back into the safe arms of homeschooling and that she continued to try other things at school, she wasn’t a quitter. There’s a bit of fantasy in the book as Elise becomes intrigued by an object at school. I thought this gave her something else to focus on while she was there. I think this book is marvelous and I feel that Christina Collins did an excellent job explaining this disorder.
Elise had heard stories from Mel, her neighbor about how great school was. Mel talked about school and her “school friends,” so when Elise’s mom quit homeschooling her, Elise was excited to finally be able to go to middle school.
Unfortunately, school turned out not to be as much fun as she thought. It wasn’t long before Elise found herself in hot water. School was a new social situation for Elise and she didn’t know the rules. She wasn’t hurting her peers on purpose but no one had told her the etiquette and now, Elise decided it was just easier to not say anything. It was better to be quiet than to say the wrong thing so, off went her voice and on, went her tally marks in her book.
I could feel the stress as Elise struggled with dodging answering the questions that were addressed in the classroom at school. She knew the answers yet to answer them would create a tally in her book, the book that she felt needed to be blank. Even when her peers addressed her or harassed her for her silence, she felt safe under the cover of her book. She wanted no tally marks, and every day she worked towards that goal.
I liked that she didn’t run back into the safe arms of homeschooling and that she continued to try other things at school, she wasn’t a quitter. There’s a bit of fantasy in the book as Elise becomes intrigued by an object at school. I thought this gave her something else to focus on while she was there. I think this book is marvelous and I feel that Christina Collins did an excellent job explaining this disorder.
July 31, 2018
Wow! An important and inspiring story. Could not stop reading. A must must must read!!!
July 19, 2018
A striking, masterfully-voiced debut with the haunting force of myth, AFTER ZERO offers an intimate picture of the healing power of writing, and owning one’s truth when grief and anxiety isolate us in a world too heavy to bear.
Strongly recommended. Christina Collins is one to watch.
Strongly recommended. Christina Collins is one to watch.
September 8, 2018
I started reading this and was hooked. Christina Collins writes a spirited, empathetic schoolgirl not long out of homeschooling into the wild world of the public school (for UK readers, take that as secondary school or academy). I immediately got inside Elise's head, along with all her worries over mispronunciations of words never before read out loud (mine were saliva and misled), and the disaster of being made to participate in ‘class discussion’. Elise makes the highly logical decision to avoid speaking whenever possible. She then gets called ‘quiet’ and the word haunts her.
Elise’s experience of homeschooling is not what my friends are doing with their kids. Mom is not interested. Mom clearly has problems of her own. The day Mom leaves her bedroom door unlocked by accident is the day when everything starts to change… Elise’s vow of silence must of necessity be broken in order to solve the mystery of her Mom’s (and her own) past.
After Zero is a brilliant book, full of characters struggling to get through life despite everything thrown at them. What they can’t catch will just have to be left to someone else. Sometimes it means things go full circle, sometimes they are gone forever.
Lively writing, visual surroundings, and something everyone can relate to—it’s a terrific book. It’s got a great cover, too.
Elise’s experience of homeschooling is not what my friends are doing with their kids. Mom is not interested. Mom clearly has problems of her own. The day Mom leaves her bedroom door unlocked by accident is the day when everything starts to change… Elise’s vow of silence must of necessity be broken in order to solve the mystery of her Mom’s (and her own) past.
After Zero is a brilliant book, full of characters struggling to get through life despite everything thrown at them. What they can’t catch will just have to be left to someone else. Sometimes it means things go full circle, sometimes they are gone forever.
Lively writing, visual surroundings, and something everyone can relate to—it’s a terrific book. It’s got a great cover, too.
May 17, 2018
I was given an ARC of this book and I wish I could give it 10 stars. Not only is it a sweet and compelling story beautifully written, but every librarian should have a copy handy for those middle school kids (boys or girls) who are loners, isolated, shy, or (like a lot of kids) work hard to hide their terror as they wait for the teacher to call on them. I hope Christina Collins is busy working on another novel because she writes with a gentle touch that's easy to read yet loaded with nuance and meaning. Highly recommend.
August 29, 2018
This book! I had high hopes AFTER ZERO given the topic and that beautiful cover, and it didn't disappoint one bit.
The story pulled me in from the opening, which so brilliantly gives us insight into Elise and her challenge to say as few words as possible. When her words get her in trouble and she aims to go to zero, my heart broke for this girl.
Author Christina Collins did a wonderful job with Elise, her strained relationship with her mother, and the way friendships can fall over judgments and misunderstandings. But one of my favorite things about this book was the way the author weaved in a hint of the fantastical, just enough to keep readers wondering but not so much that it overpowered the emotion of the real-life drama going on for Elise.
I read this book during an ARC tour with no expectation of a review, but I loved the story and the writing and defnitely recommend it.
The story pulled me in from the opening, which so brilliantly gives us insight into Elise and her challenge to say as few words as possible. When her words get her in trouble and she aims to go to zero, my heart broke for this girl.
Author Christina Collins did a wonderful job with Elise, her strained relationship with her mother, and the way friendships can fall over judgments and misunderstandings. But one of my favorite things about this book was the way the author weaved in a hint of the fantastical, just enough to keep readers wondering but not so much that it overpowered the emotion of the real-life drama going on for Elise.
I read this book during an ARC tour with no expectation of a review, but I loved the story and the writing and defnitely recommend it.
May 18, 2018
Elise’s story is a heartfelt look into a young teen’s gripping anxiety. The friendships and regrets feel very realistic, and I believe this will be a meaningful book for many young readers.
August 4, 2018
This book was shared with me for our #bookexpedition group to read and review.
Elise is a main character who immediately pulls you in, and you’ll be thinking about her long after you finish her story. She’s been homeschooled until her seventh grade year, and she struggles socially because she’s yet to learn “the rules” of middle school friendships. Then the one friend she’s had begins pulling away, and Elise decides that the less she speaks, the safer she’ll be.
Midway through, there is a major plot twist that makes things even more difficult for Elise, and an added element of fantasy that I enjoyed.
Will definitely be book talking with my 5th grade students when it’s released in September.
Elise is a main character who immediately pulls you in, and you’ll be thinking about her long after you finish her story. She’s been homeschooled until her seventh grade year, and she struggles socially because she’s yet to learn “the rules” of middle school friendships. Then the one friend she’s had begins pulling away, and Elise decides that the less she speaks, the safer she’ll be.
Midway through, there is a major plot twist that makes things even more difficult for Elise, and an added element of fantasy that I enjoyed.
Will definitely be book talking with my 5th grade students when it’s released in September.
August 4, 2018
After Zero by Christina Collins is heartbreaking, heartwarming, and heart pounding. I was fascinated by Elise's struggle with her mother, bullies, and Selective Mutism. Readers who enjoyed The Thing About Jellyfish and Fish in a Tree will love After Zero.
December 1, 2018
DISCLAIMER: I received a digital review copy of AFTER ZERO via Edelweiss Above the Treeline in exchange for an honest review
4.5 Stars
HOLY COW THIS BOOK WAS GOOD
I’ve mentioned this in my OCDANIEL review, but while I may not have selective mutism, I do struggle with an anxiety disorder, and Elise’s struggles were so painful to read - that being said, I thoroughly enjoyed this novel.
I had little to no knowledge of what selective mutism really was prior to my reading this book, and while I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I’m an expert on this condition, the book was very informational about it and it really felt like I was in the head of a girl with selective mutism.
The book itself almost reminded me of a mix between the upper-middle-grade book OCDANIEL and the ABC drama THE GOOD DOCTOR. (Seeing as I love both of those, I think it contributed to my love for this book.)
Am I going to purchase on Tuesday when it’s released?
You can count on it.
4.5 Stars
HOLY COW THIS BOOK WAS GOOD
I’ve mentioned this in my OCDANIEL review, but while I may not have selective mutism, I do struggle with an anxiety disorder, and Elise’s struggles were so painful to read - that being said, I thoroughly enjoyed this novel.
I had little to no knowledge of what selective mutism really was prior to my reading this book, and while I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I’m an expert on this condition, the book was very informational about it and it really felt like I was in the head of a girl with selective mutism.
The book itself almost reminded me of a mix between the upper-middle-grade book OCDANIEL and the ABC drama THE GOOD DOCTOR. (Seeing as I love both of those, I think it contributed to my love for this book.)
Am I going to purchase on Tuesday when it’s released?
You can count on it.
February 10, 2019
This was a very interesting read involving a main character that has selective mutism. Although I have read of characters in the past where their silence has been hinted at, I have not read a book where this topic has actually been addressed. I like how this story allows readers to gain more of a knowledge and understanding behind a topic that is not often discussed.
Along with this story being educational, it was also heartbreaking in the sense that I really felt for the main character. It's hard to read about children growing up in a harsh environment and that was definitely the case with this book. It was a good story though and I felt the ending was unpredictable regarding the main character's family. I definitely had not predicted that outcome.
***Thank you to Raincoast Books for sending me an ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review***
Along with this story being educational, it was also heartbreaking in the sense that I really felt for the main character. It's hard to read about children growing up in a harsh environment and that was definitely the case with this book. It was a good story though and I felt the ending was unpredictable regarding the main character's family. I definitely had not predicted that outcome.
***Thank you to Raincoast Books for sending me an ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review***
June 28, 2018
A BEAUTIFUL book, shedding some needed light on a very difficult anxiety condition for kids to carry. I had myself never heard of selective mutism before reading this, and I can so relate to Elise thinking she can control her life if she can control the words that come out of her mouth. I also loved the touch of fantasy in the story, it pulls readers along wondering how Elise can navigate friendships and family ties and make sense of where she finds herself. Well worth reading for everyone, especially if readers who like to see characters face invisible difficulties and discover help and strength from within and without.
December 18, 2020
I could soooo relate. Some days its still easier just to be quiet. Powerful story I think 5th grade and up will find interesting. maybe it will help some child; give them a word for their condition , a place to start. It's the first book I've ever read on the subject in childrens fiction.
I received a Kindle ARC from Netgalley in exchange for a fair review.
I received a Kindle ARC from Netgalley in exchange for a fair review.
February 6, 2022
All the stars! I loved the characters, especially Elise, but also her teacher, Ms. Lenore Looping... and the setting too. An excellent middle-grade book about a subject that is not talked about often. I wasn't familiar with it at all; but it may be more common than we know.
This is a book about mental health and poor young Elise becomes so fearful of talking, she stops. We learn she has been through a tragic event early in life but I won't reveal much about that.
Ms. Looping has a stuffed Raven named Beady and she is a very wise and kind teacher, but we see she can be firm when she needs to be. Beady is pretty wise too for a stuffed bird (or is he). Granny P is important and I would love to visit her. It must be hard being 12, but 13 is just around the corner.
"Sometimes we feel lost, the universe sends us a little help. Something or someone to guide us on our path."
"And that can come in the most unexpected form." I could not agree more!
Many thanks for NetGalley and Sourcebooks for a digital copy to read for review. I can highly recommend it!
This is a book about mental health and poor young Elise becomes so fearful of talking, she stops. We learn she has been through a tragic event early in life but I won't reveal much about that.
Ms. Looping has a stuffed Raven named Beady and she is a very wise and kind teacher, but we see she can be firm when she needs to be. Beady is pretty wise too for a stuffed bird (or is he). Granny P is important and I would love to visit her. It must be hard being 12, but 13 is just around the corner.
"Sometimes we feel lost, the universe sends us a little help. Something or someone to guide us on our path."
"And that can come in the most unexpected form." I could not agree more!
Many thanks for NetGalley and Sourcebooks for a digital copy to read for review. I can highly recommend it!
June 27, 2021
Content warnings for this book: mental illness, anxiety, grief,
Up until about 7 months ago, 12-year-old Elise was homeschooled. However, she was always jealous of her friend Mel's stories about school, so she managed to get her mom to enroll her in public school. Unfortunately, the experience didn't go quite the way she'd hoped. Elise now spends each day tallying every word she speaks. Some days her tally is at one or two, but the best days are when she's at zero. She appreciates teachers who don't require her to participate in discussions - it's one of the reasons why she likes Miss Looping's English class, where all she's ever expected to do is write.
It's not that she doesn't ever speak. She talks a little, at home. But she understands that even her home life isn't quite the same as other people's. Her mother keeps secrets from her and doesn't seem to care about her. Elise didn't even know what birthdays were until her friend Mel's 7th birthday. As Elise learns more about her mother and her own past, she struggles to figure out what to do when every word she says has the potential to make things worse.
This is one of my old ARCs that I got at a conference and then never read. It turned out to be an unexpected gem.
I'd likely have never picked this up on my own. I don't read a lot of Middle Grade fiction, and when I do, it's normally fantasy, sci-fi, mysteries, or light and fluffy contemporaries. I generally avoid serious Middle Grade realistic fiction like the plague.
In the author's note at the end, Collins wrote that this book was based both on the Brothers Grimm tale "The Twelve Brothers" (I didn't know it and looked it up - very loosely based) and on her own adolescent experience with low-profile selective mutism. I think I'd heard of selective mutism before, but never in much depth. In Elise's case, she could speak at home but experienced great anxiety about speaking at school and elsewhere, and her selective mutism eventually began to transition to complete silence (progressive mutism).
I've struggled with anxiety for most of my life - not Elise's specific kind of anxiety (although aspects of her story prompted me to recall incidents in my childhood that I'd forgotten), but the feelings are very similar even if the details differ. I could definitely relate to the way Elise discovered that her efforts to deal with her fears had further trapped her, and to her difficulty communicating what was going on with her. Although I practically flew through this book, it was a hard read at times and had me in tears by the end.
I haven't read many books that have dealt with anxiety that I could relate to to some degree, but this is one I'd recommend. I think it could be helpful for a child who's dealing with it but doesn't have the words to explain it, and for adults who, like me, may not know much about selective mutism and might not realize that there's maybe more going on with that "shy" child in their life. Things turn out
The one thing that didn't really work for me: Beady. He was a stuffed raven owned by one of Elise's teachers, and a potential fantasy element in a book that could otherwise be considered purely realistic fiction. There were indications that he might have been coming alive and helping Elise out at crucial moments. Or the bird incidents were coincidences, and the Beady stuff was just a mystery that Elise's teacher helped encourage. It wasn't terrible, but it blurred the line between fantasy and reality a little more than I'd have liked, especially considering how one other incident that blended realism and fantasy turned out.
(Original review posted on A Library Girl's Familiar Diversions.)
Up until about 7 months ago, 12-year-old Elise was homeschooled. However, she was always jealous of her friend Mel's stories about school, so she managed to get her mom to enroll her in public school. Unfortunately, the experience didn't go quite the way she'd hoped. Elise now spends each day tallying every word she speaks. Some days her tally is at one or two, but the best days are when she's at zero. She appreciates teachers who don't require her to participate in discussions - it's one of the reasons why she likes Miss Looping's English class, where all she's ever expected to do is write.
It's not that she doesn't ever speak. She talks a little, at home. But she understands that even her home life isn't quite the same as other people's. Her mother keeps secrets from her and doesn't seem to care about her. Elise didn't even know what birthdays were until her friend Mel's 7th birthday. As Elise learns more about her mother and her own past, she struggles to figure out what to do when every word she says has the potential to make things worse.
This is one of my old ARCs that I got at a conference and then never read. It turned out to be an unexpected gem.
I'd likely have never picked this up on my own. I don't read a lot of Middle Grade fiction, and when I do, it's normally fantasy, sci-fi, mysteries, or light and fluffy contemporaries. I generally avoid serious Middle Grade realistic fiction like the plague.
In the author's note at the end, Collins wrote that this book was based both on the Brothers Grimm tale "The Twelve Brothers" (I didn't know it and looked it up - very loosely based) and on her own adolescent experience with low-profile selective mutism. I think I'd heard of selective mutism before, but never in much depth. In Elise's case, she could speak at home but experienced great anxiety about speaking at school and elsewhere, and her selective mutism eventually began to transition to complete silence (progressive mutism).
I've struggled with anxiety for most of my life - not Elise's specific kind of anxiety (although aspects of her story prompted me to recall incidents in my childhood that I'd forgotten), but the feelings are very similar even if the details differ. I could definitely relate to the way Elise discovered that her efforts to deal with her fears had further trapped her, and to her difficulty communicating what was going on with her. Although I practically flew through this book, it was a hard read at times and had me in tears by the end.
I haven't read many books that have dealt with anxiety that I could relate to to some degree, but this is one I'd recommend. I think it could be helpful for a child who's dealing with it but doesn't have the words to explain it, and for adults who, like me, may not know much about selective mutism and might not realize that there's maybe more going on with that "shy" child in their life. Things turn out
The one thing that didn't really work for me: Beady. He was a stuffed raven owned by one of Elise's teachers, and a potential fantasy element in a book that could otherwise be considered purely realistic fiction. There were indications that he might have been coming alive and helping Elise out at crucial moments. Or the bird incidents were coincidences, and the Beady stuff was just a mystery that Elise's teacher helped encourage. It wasn't terrible, but it blurred the line between fantasy and reality a little more than I'd have liked, especially considering how one other incident that blended realism and fantasy turned out.
(Original review posted on A Library Girl's Familiar Diversions.)
July 3, 2018
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!
After Zero is a beautiful window into the world of selective mutism. The story will keep readers intrigued as the protagonist, Elise, propels the plot forward while barely speaking. Most of us are used to the way that we use words to interact and control others, but in the face of someone who tallies their words every day, aiming for that lowest number, we really get a view of how much impact words really have. Elise measures her words carefully, because she's learned that speaking only seems to cause trouble. In her silence, a bubble has formed in her throat that she sometimes can't get past, even when she wants to speak. Instead of conversations between characters, people talk at Elise and she thinks back. When faced with a family mystery and some strange occurrences at school, how will Elise move forward? Does the answer lie in her silence?
I think that every middle grade reader will be able to relate to the feeling of instant remorse from speaking words and to the cruel clarity of hindsight. I hope that reading this will cause kids to reconsider their own views on "quiet kids" and take more time to consider the purpose of their own words. This book is also a vocal reminder that you can never truly know someone else's experience and what's going on inside someone else's head. Thank you to Christina Collins for giving us a middle grade avenue into the mental health conversation!
I can't wait to add this book to my classroom shelf when it releases!
Merged review:
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!
After Zero is a beautiful window into the world of selective mutism. The story will keep readers intrigued as the protagonist, Elise, propels the plot forward while barely speaking. Most of us are used to the way that we use words to interact and control others, but in the face of someone who tallies their words every day, aiming for that lowest number, we really get a view of how much impact words really have. Elise measures her words carefully, because she's learned that speaking only seems to cause trouble. In her silence, a bubble has formed in her throat that she sometimes can't get past, even when she wants to speak. Instead of conversations between characters, people talk at Elise and she thinks back. When faced with a family mystery and some strange occurrences at school, how will Elise move forward? Does the answer lie in her silence?
I think that every middle grade reader will be able to relate to the feeling of instant remorse from speaking words and to the cruel clarity of hindsight. I hope that reading this will cause kids to reconsider their own views on "quiet kids" and take more time to consider the purpose of their own words. This book is also a vocal reminder that you can never truly know someone else's experience and what's going on inside someone else's head. Thank you to Christina Collins for giving us a middle grade avenue into the mental health conversation!
I can't wait to add this book to my classroom shelf when it releases!
After Zero is a beautiful window into the world of selective mutism. The story will keep readers intrigued as the protagonist, Elise, propels the plot forward while barely speaking. Most of us are used to the way that we use words to interact and control others, but in the face of someone who tallies their words every day, aiming for that lowest number, we really get a view of how much impact words really have. Elise measures her words carefully, because she's learned that speaking only seems to cause trouble. In her silence, a bubble has formed in her throat that she sometimes can't get past, even when she wants to speak. Instead of conversations between characters, people talk at Elise and she thinks back. When faced with a family mystery and some strange occurrences at school, how will Elise move forward? Does the answer lie in her silence?
I think that every middle grade reader will be able to relate to the feeling of instant remorse from speaking words and to the cruel clarity of hindsight. I hope that reading this will cause kids to reconsider their own views on "quiet kids" and take more time to consider the purpose of their own words. This book is also a vocal reminder that you can never truly know someone else's experience and what's going on inside someone else's head. Thank you to Christina Collins for giving us a middle grade avenue into the mental health conversation!
I can't wait to add this book to my classroom shelf when it releases!
Merged review:
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!
After Zero is a beautiful window into the world of selective mutism. The story will keep readers intrigued as the protagonist, Elise, propels the plot forward while barely speaking. Most of us are used to the way that we use words to interact and control others, but in the face of someone who tallies their words every day, aiming for that lowest number, we really get a view of how much impact words really have. Elise measures her words carefully, because she's learned that speaking only seems to cause trouble. In her silence, a bubble has formed in her throat that she sometimes can't get past, even when she wants to speak. Instead of conversations between characters, people talk at Elise and she thinks back. When faced with a family mystery and some strange occurrences at school, how will Elise move forward? Does the answer lie in her silence?
I think that every middle grade reader will be able to relate to the feeling of instant remorse from speaking words and to the cruel clarity of hindsight. I hope that reading this will cause kids to reconsider their own views on "quiet kids" and take more time to consider the purpose of their own words. This book is also a vocal reminder that you can never truly know someone else's experience and what's going on inside someone else's head. Thank you to Christina Collins for giving us a middle grade avenue into the mental health conversation!
I can't wait to add this book to my classroom shelf when it releases!
August 12, 2018
In this middle grade novel we are introduced to a condition that afflicts some children called selective mutism. We get firsthand experience by walking in Elise's shoes as she struggles with the challenges of moving from homeschool into a public middle school. After some misfires in making friends with peers, she decides her words are never the right ones and resolves to say as few as possible. Her ultimate goal is zero. Unfortunately her mother is suffering with baggage of her own and home is not a refuge. Elise makes a discovery and attempts to find out more answers on her own and things begin to spiral out of control just before her 13th birthday. For her that day looms in front of her like a finish line she will cross to an epiphany. Meanwhile it seems like a raven is stalking her. Could it be the stuffed raven that sits on her English teacher's desk? The magical realism adds a wonderful element to the story. I did find it very difficult to watch Elise as her life is imploding, but I was definitely rooting for her. Middle school readers will definitely get a lesson in empathy when reading this debut novel.
Thanks to Sourcebooks and NetGalley for providing a digital ARC of this debut novel in exchange for an honest review.
Thanks to Sourcebooks and NetGalley for providing a digital ARC of this debut novel in exchange for an honest review.
July 28, 2020
Blech. Unpleasant but important? Revelatory if you stick in there for the ending? Reading this (as a mom, not a kid), I felt like I was on this weird journey where we were glorifying these bizarre, terrible choices. **spoiler** It truly was a revelation and a relief when it turned out we were actually talking about mental illness, and made me feel like the book was worthwhile, maybe even important. Doubly so when I read the author's note. However, it felt much like the common setup for kids' programming on tv or in picture books: kid has vice, and 85% of episode is spent displaying the vice. In the last couple minutes/pages, he learns his lesson and we are shown the light and the way. But whenever my kids would watch those shows, their takeaway would be the vice! Just a couple weeks ago, Cal could not get over the idea of watching tv and eating junk food all day and all night after watching stupid Papa Bear revel in it in some Berenstain Bears book. So I'm just not sure the ten pages at the end (maybe less?) was enough to shift the gears of this book. And it was pretty awful to read.
July 4, 2018
After Zero is a breathtaking middle grade read. I am reluctant to label it as middle grade because it is also a wonderful read for any age. I loved that there were so many twists and turns and just when you thought you had it all figured it out, you didn’t! As a middle school teacher, I would recommend this book to other teachers and students. I think it would make a great read aloud and would have many wonderful discussion points and important themes to point out. The character development was strong and Collins used vivid descriptions in a most perfect way. I really don’t have any complaints and would give this book five stars. I cannot wait to book talk this one!
October 21, 2018
I enjoyed this YA novel on selective mutism. I went in with very little knowledge on the topic. The protagonist gave me some insight into her struggle with this disorder. The post notes give additional sources, which will help me understand more deeply. A solid middle school read.
October 7, 2018
Christina Collin’s debut novel is a powerful story that helps understand what it’s like for a child living with selective mutism.
December 15, 2019
Found this by accident when looking for another book and was going to give it a pass because the characters are younger than I normally like to read about but I'm glad I didn't!
A really moving and wonderful read, I blazed through this in a few hours. Also LOTS of mentions of swans.
A really moving and wonderful read, I blazed through this in a few hours. Also LOTS of mentions of swans.
August 3, 2018
This debut novel was elevated from the run-of-the-mill "problem" novel partly by its insight into a disorder - selective mute syndrome - that apparently the author herself suffered from as a young woman. Elise has had a strange childhood, home-schooled, raised by a remote and apparently uncaring mother, and kept pretty much isolated from other children, to the extent that at 7 years old she had no idea what a birthday party was. Her father had been killed when she was born, reportedly by a drunk driver. When Elise finally persuades her mother to send her to a real school, she makes several social gaffes, turning the popular group of girls against her, including the one who lived next door to her and had been her friend. Her response to all this is to turn to silence. If when she speaks she makes a fool of herself, she thinks, it's better not to speak.
Collins is most successful in making us understand Elise's motivation, and the pain and confusion she feels when she is socially misunderstood. We also get inside the head of a sensitive and creative child, who expresses herself through writing. This was an enjoyable read, but not outstanding. There was a bit of clunky writing and some of the situations - especially her mother's behaviour, both bad and good, were not completely believable. There was a sub-plot involving a raven that I guessed was added to give some "mythic" resonance to things, but that I didn't find convincing or necessary. I liked the boy who becomes Elise's friend, and would have liked to see some of the other characters a bit more fully developed. Things are rather too easily solved, and the conflicts rather too black and white for full believability. However, I would recommend it to the middle-grade age-group it is marketed for.
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Collins is most successful in making us understand Elise's motivation, and the pain and confusion she feels when she is socially misunderstood. We also get inside the head of a sensitive and creative child, who expresses herself through writing. This was an enjoyable read, but not outstanding. There was a bit of clunky writing and some of the situations - especially her mother's behaviour, both bad and good, were not completely believable. There was a sub-plot involving a raven that I guessed was added to give some "mythic" resonance to things, but that I didn't find convincing or necessary. I liked the boy who becomes Elise's friend, and would have liked to see some of the other characters a bit more fully developed. Things are rather too easily solved, and the conflicts rather too black and white for full believability. However, I would recommend it to the middle-grade age-group it is marketed for.
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
October 1, 2019
The story: When she makes the move from home to public school, Elise also makes a series of social errors that causes her to shut down--especially when it comes to talking. Now she's keeping a tally of how few words she can say each day...and yet, it's almost like something else--something much worse than a cat--has got her tongue. Now she wonders if she'll ever be able to say anything at all: to defend herself from a charge of stealing, or to find out the truth about her family's tragedies. Or to find out whether there's really a mysterious raven stalking...and maybe even defending...her?
June Cleaver's ratings: Language G; Violence PG; Sexual content G; Nudity G; Substance abuse PG; Magic & the occult G; GLBT content G; adult themes (selective mutism, anxiety disorders, hallucinations) PG; overall rating PG.
Liz's comments: While Elise is clearly a girl in need of help, sometimes her character is just plain annoying. However, the group of girls who are drawn to the sub-genre of realistic fiction about people whose lives are terrible will like this one. Grades 6-8.
June Cleaver's ratings: Language G; Violence PG; Sexual content G; Nudity G; Substance abuse PG; Magic & the occult G; GLBT content G; adult themes (selective mutism, anxiety disorders, hallucinations) PG; overall rating PG.
Liz's comments: While Elise is clearly a girl in need of help, sometimes her character is just plain annoying. However, the group of girls who are drawn to the sub-genre of realistic fiction about people whose lives are terrible will like this one. Grades 6-8.
June 8, 2018
This is a very readable story with a main character, Elise, who is strong and very likable. At first readers may wonder that she does not speak because she is afraid of saying the wrong thing and become embarrassed. However, as the story progresses, and readers see how distant her relationship with her mother is, they will wonder if their first assumption was wrong. And it is. Elise’s story is tragic with a little magical element added in. This is a great choice for realistic fiction fans.
March 19, 2021
3.8 stars
This was a wholesome book. It was a nice short read and it really gave me insight on what the (dare I say the word) “quiet” (maybe I should say less-vocal? You’ll see that the mc hates the “q-word” in this book) but yeah, what I’m getting at, is this book gave me insight into what the less-vocal kids are going through. I always sort of made assumptions about them (which I feel terrible about), and this book gave me a new perspective. It not only taught me not to judge the “quiet” kids, but not to judge anyone. This book isn’t just about selective mutism, it’s about judgement and how there’s always waaay more under the surface than anyone realizes. To everyone. Not just kids with selective mutism. Not just kids with anxiety. Even to the “normal” people. (Hint: no one’s really normal) Everyone has junk inside of them wether they show it or not, and there’s ALWAYS more to the story. This book was a beautiful example of that.
As an outside character, I probably would have made several negative assumptions about Elise. What other people saw was sketchy at best, but Elise had reasons behind them. There were several times I just wanted to jump through the book and scream everything Elise wasn’t saying, because I hated how the situations she had gotten herself into were hurting her. Yeah, they looked bad on the outside, but with a little “I can explain!” All her problems would be solved. But it’s bigger than that. Much bigger than that. Elise had reasons for what she was doing, and she had reasons for why she wasn’t talking. She couldn’t talk. Well, she couldn’t not-not talk. That’s what made the conflict so complex and beautiful. It started out as something she could control but became much bigger than herself. isn’t that how all of our own conflicts are? Yum! This book is so yummy! (I use that term for waaay too many books)
Even with all that good, there are bound to be SOME things I wish I could change, SOME things I didn’t particularly like. Here they are:
1. The conflict with her mother Elise continuously complained about how awful and un-motherly (is that a word?) her mom was, but there was never really any evidence of that. We heard her complain about how her mother never really talked to her and probably wouldn’t win the Mother-of-the-Year Award, but she was never inherently awful. She tried to make conversation with Elise, and was genuinely concerned for her. Sure she had some moments that DEFINITELY weren’t great, but she wasn’t as awful as Elise was letting on. However, I have been very blessed with a loving family and it isn’t my place to judge someone who isn’t.
2. The Beady Sub-Plot This was a great idea, but the execution didn’t do it justice. I feel like the authors “subtle hints” about wether or not Beady the stuffed bird was coming to life were blatantly obvious. At first it was intriguing and fun, but it just got repetitive and exhausting after a while. And at the end the author makes it sound like it’s some grand revelation that Beady may have been coming to life, and it sorta makes the reader feel stupid. Everyone had picked up on it by then, and coming right out to say it sorta took the element of mystery out of it and makes you feel like you can’t think for yourself. I think it would have been better if the author left it open-ended for us to draw our own conclusions as to the mysterious black bird.
3. The Writing/Poetry Sub-Plot once again, this was a wonderful idea that just didn’t get as much page time and thought as it deserved. It’s said that Elise likes poetry and towards the end, she sort of finds her own words and uses writing as an outlet. This was a brilliant idea, but I feel like the details were just tossed in there and not as powerful as they could have been. I would have liked to see representation of the poems she read and how they translated to her life and how they empowered her and encouraged her to produce her own. Instead, poetry and writing was vaguely mentioned until the end, and it left the ending less satisfying than it could have been. I also thought the tallys and the tally notebook were a neat idea, but they were really only mentioned at the beginning to introduce readers to Elise’s condition, and even though the story progressed to where she stopped needing to use the notebook, I would have liked more elaboration on it.
Those are what I wish I could change, as well as I didn’t really appreciate the negative way it portrayed church and Christianity. Other than that, it was a wonderful book. There’s one more think I want to say before I end this review and it’s that I LOVE CONN! he was just so sweet and forgiving and just an all around amazing person. He understood Elise and gave her second chances even when she didn’t want him to. He was just such a sweet character, and I think we all need a Conn in our lives.
Well folks, that’s the review! I planned on making it short and sweet but ended up making it a full-fledged review, so there you go! I recommend this book to people looking for a light read on mental health and a unique perspective on the world.
This was a wholesome book. It was a nice short read and it really gave me insight on what the (dare I say the word) “quiet” (maybe I should say less-vocal? You’ll see that the mc hates the “q-word” in this book) but yeah, what I’m getting at, is this book gave me insight into what the less-vocal kids are going through. I always sort of made assumptions about them (which I feel terrible about), and this book gave me a new perspective. It not only taught me not to judge the “quiet” kids, but not to judge anyone. This book isn’t just about selective mutism, it’s about judgement and how there’s always waaay more under the surface than anyone realizes. To everyone. Not just kids with selective mutism. Not just kids with anxiety. Even to the “normal” people. (Hint: no one’s really normal) Everyone has junk inside of them wether they show it or not, and there’s ALWAYS more to the story. This book was a beautiful example of that.
As an outside character, I probably would have made several negative assumptions about Elise. What other people saw was sketchy at best, but Elise had reasons behind them. There were several times I just wanted to jump through the book and scream everything Elise wasn’t saying, because I hated how the situations she had gotten herself into were hurting her. Yeah, they looked bad on the outside, but with a little “I can explain!” All her problems would be solved. But it’s bigger than that. Much bigger than that. Elise had reasons for what she was doing, and she had reasons for why she wasn’t talking. She couldn’t talk. Well, she couldn’t not-not talk. That’s what made the conflict so complex and beautiful. It started out as something she could control but became much bigger than herself. isn’t that how all of our own conflicts are? Yum! This book is so yummy! (I use that term for waaay too many books)
Even with all that good, there are bound to be SOME things I wish I could change, SOME things I didn’t particularly like. Here they are:
1. The conflict with her mother Elise continuously complained about how awful and un-motherly (is that a word?) her mom was, but there was never really any evidence of that. We heard her complain about how her mother never really talked to her and probably wouldn’t win the Mother-of-the-Year Award, but she was never inherently awful. She tried to make conversation with Elise, and was genuinely concerned for her. Sure she had some moments that DEFINITELY weren’t great, but she wasn’t as awful as Elise was letting on. However, I have been very blessed with a loving family and it isn’t my place to judge someone who isn’t.
2. The Beady Sub-Plot This was a great idea, but the execution didn’t do it justice. I feel like the authors “subtle hints” about wether or not Beady the stuffed bird was coming to life were blatantly obvious. At first it was intriguing and fun, but it just got repetitive and exhausting after a while. And at the end the author makes it sound like it’s some grand revelation that Beady may have been coming to life, and it sorta makes the reader feel stupid. Everyone had picked up on it by then, and coming right out to say it sorta took the element of mystery out of it and makes you feel like you can’t think for yourself. I think it would have been better if the author left it open-ended for us to draw our own conclusions as to the mysterious black bird.
3. The Writing/Poetry Sub-Plot once again, this was a wonderful idea that just didn’t get as much page time and thought as it deserved. It’s said that Elise likes poetry and towards the end, she sort of finds her own words and uses writing as an outlet. This was a brilliant idea, but I feel like the details were just tossed in there and not as powerful as they could have been. I would have liked to see representation of the poems she read and how they translated to her life and how they empowered her and encouraged her to produce her own. Instead, poetry and writing was vaguely mentioned until the end, and it left the ending less satisfying than it could have been. I also thought the tallys and the tally notebook were a neat idea, but they were really only mentioned at the beginning to introduce readers to Elise’s condition, and even though the story progressed to where she stopped needing to use the notebook, I would have liked more elaboration on it.
Those are what I wish I could change, as well as I didn’t really appreciate the negative way it portrayed church and Christianity. Other than that, it was a wonderful book. There’s one more think I want to say before I end this review and it’s that I LOVE CONN! he was just so sweet and forgiving and just an all around amazing person. He understood Elise and gave her second chances even when she didn’t want him to. He was just such a sweet character, and I think we all need a Conn in our lives.
Well folks, that’s the review! I planned on making it short and sweet but ended up making it a full-fledged review, so there you go! I recommend this book to people looking for a light read on mental health and a unique perspective on the world.
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