Growing Me: Becoming a Child

by Jim Wilder

Developing our best identity requires well-timed training that matches the biological clock in our brain. Our families, beliefs and cultures greatly shape the nature of our training. Lessons can be learned from the success and failure of customs, beliefs and practices that are rapidly disappearing as communities change. This book (the first in the Growing a More Human Community series) combines 1) observations from many cultures, 2) important developmental deadlines for the brain and 3) spiritual teachings to produce a model for multi-generational community life.

Growing our best self begins in childhood but extends across our lives. Growing Me introduces the essential needs and tasks for the infant and child stages that occupy the first twelve years of life. This period focuses on caring for ourselves and learning to express our best identity. By developing resilience early, children learn to maintain inner peace and joy throughout their lives.

Most of us need some remediation if we want our emotions to generate improve relationships and inner peace. This book helps us recognize our needs and create opportunities for our important relationships to encourage practice and improvement. This book provides a framework for families and spiritual communities to grow better humans.

168 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 21, 2024

About the author

This author is also published under the pen name E. James Wilder.


Jim Wilder (PhD, Clinical Psychology, and M.A. Theology, Fuller Theological Seminary) has been training leaders and counselors for over 27 years on five continents. He is the author of nine books with a strong focus on maturing and relationship skills for leaders. His coauthored book Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You has sold over 100,000 copies in eleven languages. Wilder has published numerous articles and developed four sets of video and relational leadership training called THRIVE. He is currently executive director of Shepherd's House Inc., a nonprofit working at the intersection of brain science and theology, and founder of Life Model Works that is building contagiously healthy Christian communities through equipping existing networks with the skills to thrive. Dr. Wilder has extensive clinical counseling experience and has served as a guest lecturer at Fuller Seminary, Biola, Talbot Seminary, Point Loma University, Montreat College, Tyndale Seminary and elsewhere.

Reviews

[Dennis Podryadchikov · Rating 5 out of 5]

This insightful book challenges readers to explore personal maturity and relational growth through a unique lens. Jim Wilder combines neuroscience, psychology, and spirituality to guide individuals on a journey of becoming emotionally resilient and joy-filled, addressing immaturity and its relational consequences.

Key takeaways include:
- Joy as a central relational anchor ("Joy is the brain’s way to say, ‘I’m glad to be with you!’").
- The profound impact of early life experiences on emotional "thermostats" and the hopeful message that Joy Camp can be restored later in life.
- The differences between love-bonds and fear-bonds, emphasizing the importance of joy, encouragement, and creativity in healthy relationships.
- Practical steps for overcoming immaturity, such as practicing appreciation, creating belonging, and restoring joy in relational conflicts.

Wilder also provides actionable advice for fostering deeper connections, including storytelling and shared moments to build trust and joy. His insights on emotional maturity stages resonate deeply, making this a powerful resource for anyone seeking to grow in emotional intelligence and relational integrity.

An essential read for those committed to personal growth and meaningful relationships.

[Monica Mouer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this book! It’s very helpful for so many reasons.