Exhibitionist: 1 Journal, 1 Depression, 100 Paintings

by Peter Mendelsund

From acclaimed designer and novelist Peter Mendelsund, a deeply personal reflection on depression and the redemptive power of art, interspersed with 100 original paintings

In the early days of the pandemic, Peter Mendelsund and his family traveled up to a secluded New Hampshire farmhouse to weather the chaos. There began his journey through a crippling and seemingly intractable depression—which differed in degree but not in kind from episodes that have recurred periodically throughout his life—that brought him to the brink of suicide. 

Relief came from an unlikely painting, something Peter had never contemplated doing before. And yet it became the thing that may very well have saved his life. Bleakly funny, profoundly moving, and—against all odds—truly inspiring, Exhibitionist is not just an account of a mind thinking through its own suffering in real-time, and of the author’s reckoning with his father's tortured legacy; it's also the story of the birth of an artist, and a portrait of an artist at work.

Genres: Art

230 pages, Hardcover

Published June 3, 2025

About the author

Peter Mendelsund is the associate art director of Alfred A. Knopf and a recovering classical pianist. His designs have been described by The Wall Street Journal as being “the most instantly recognizable and iconic book covers in contemporary fiction.” He lives in New York.

Reviews

[Victoria Hood · Rating 4 out of 5]

An absolutely beautiful book from the prose to the art to the composition of how this book was crafted! It was a heartbreaking yet hopeful look into one experience of mental health that will speak to many. I did have to take breathers throughout my read because the subject matter is heavy, but I highly recommend!

[Michele · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the writing in this book. I know it was the author's journal but many times it reads more like poetry to me.