The Light in Our Eyes: Rediscovering the Love, Beauty, and Freedom of Jesus in an Age of Disillusionment

by Nicholas McDonald

For the millions who have felt disillusioned with American evangelical culture, this book is a lifeline for navigating the cynicism of both conservative and progressive beliefs to find real hope in the life and mission of Jesus.

As a pastor and author, Nicholas McDonald spent years helping people work through serious questions about the evangelical church’s gospel and its often hurtful responses to those confused by American Evangelical culture. He quickly realized that what these people needed—what he really needed—was not merely apologetics answers but the good news that speaks to their deepest love, beauty, and freedom—the very things Jesus promises to those who follow Him.

With excellent storytelling and profound insights from his own deconstruction journey, McDonald compassionately addresses the concerns so many readers have with the evangelical subculture’s sense of entitlement, nostalgia, and cynicism. And he outlines a clear path to finding restoration in Jesus. The Light in Our Eyes offers nine ancient practices to help you experience anew—or for the first time—Jesus’s love, beauty, and freedom and to embody and extend them in the world. Through the scriptural song of Zechariah and relatable, inspiring stories of men and women who have been restoried by the gospel of Jesus, this book reminds us that Jesus’ dreams fulfill what our hearts have longed for all along.

Journey from despair and darkness to faith and light as McDonald outlines a path to becoming reenchanted by the dreams Jesus has for each one of us, the church, and the world. To take up His dream is the invitation to believe again, and to hope again.

Genres: Nonfiction, Faith, Christianity, Christian, Christian Living

244 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 20, 2025

Reviews

[Samuel Kassing · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m thankful for Nick’s voice in this conversation. He has written an accessible and compelling case for why we should be kind and patient with friends and family who are deconstructing. All the while not losing hope in Jesus.

[Chris Hatch · Rating 5 out of 5]

McDonald weaves his story with the gospel story in a way that answers the question many of us are asking, "How do we respond to those who are leaving the faith - i.e. deconstructing!" The answer, of course, is not simple but McDonald is firm that we must get the gospel right if we are to see a reversal of the current trends. The gospel is "a story of restoration - not a story of escape" (p.220) and therefore has profound relevance for life here and now.

I appreciated the fact that McDonald acknowledges his social position (White, middle-class American) while admitting that he (and we) need more than our little subset of Christianity. "In order to let the Scriptures talk back to us, we need to let the global, historic village of the church help us apply them. Otherwise, we'll just skip past the parts we don't like." (p.108)

In some ways, this is an easy read (humor, pop culture references, personal anecdotes, etc.), but don't let McDonald's writing fool you. He is bringing profound truths to help us wrestle with one of the key issues the American church is facing today.

[Alex McEwen · Rating 4 out of 5]

We recently welcomed our first child, Mr. Lochlan Reiley McEwen, born August 29, 2025! Bringing him home, I quickly noticed how many voices were already competing for his affections. Doctors, government agencies, family members, social media all have their own visions for the “perfect” way to raise a child. The question becomes how do you discern whose authority to trust? That struggle, surprisingly, mirrors what so many in Gen Z and Gen Alpha face in the church.

McDonald names what so many of us feel, disillusionment with the state of the American church. He shows how even otherwise orthodox believers reject the label “Evangelical” because of the political and theological baggage it carries. It was nice to see someone else in the PCA share a similar sentiment to me on using the term “Evangelical”. Along the way, McDonald exposes the ways nostalgia, entitlement, and cynicism cloud our vision, tempting us either to give up on faith or to settle for shallow substitutes.

But this is not a book of critique alone. McDonald reminds us that deconstruction can be healthy. After all, what else was the Reformation? True deconstruction must lead to reconstruction. He invites readers back to the ancient faith, showing that wrestling with doubt can bring us closer to Christ rather than drive us away.

The book’s greatest strength is its pastoral heart. McDonald doesn’t lecture; he shares his own story of doubt and struggle, inviting readers to walk with him toward hope. At times, I wished for more depth, but the trade off is accessibility. The book also juggles two audiences. The more academic sections speak to pastors and ministry leaders, while the narrative driven sections are aimed at those wrestling personally with Christianity. This tension might distract from the usefulness of the work. A student in deconstruction might find the pastoral sections less compelling, and pastors might struggle to use the narrative sections in ministry. Still, I was deeply encouraged by the echoes of catholicity throughout the book and its call to union with Christ.

McDonald’s ongoing ministry with RUF shines through on every page, shaping the warmth and care that make this work so compelling. May this book encourage weary saints to lift their eyes once more to the beauty of Christ.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

[Jeff Nottingham · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I'd had this book as a younger man, I might not have stopped attending church for years. As a pastor today, there are dozens (and dozens) of books to put into parishioners' hands-- almost too many to be helpful. But this book is a special mix of authentic autobiography and incisive story. Nick's interaction with evangelicalism is sober-minded and joyful at once, something we need to do better at. I've already given it to several friends from church or on the periphery of it. Read this book and give it to your friends.

[Zackowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

McDonald’s insightful and witty “The Light in our Eyes” is a joy, encouragement, and challenge for those who follow Jesus. Excellent read for folks who have grown disillusioned with false caricatures of Christianity, and those who care about them.

[Cynthia Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such an important book for our times! There are so many "dechurched" folks out there who need to know that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. This book addresses our need to use new language and listening skills to tell the story of Jesus and His love. I recommend using this book for your sunday school or small groups to reach those who've passed through the doors of the church and still want what Jesus offers-not our american culture, per se.
The author is honest and authentic in telling his stories, and is so relatable in his passion to reach today's young people.

[Russell Sigler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you left the church a long time ago, you work in the church, or you're somewhere in between, I recommend this book to the seeking and the settled. What if instead of reducing Christianity down to a simple formula (pray this prayer, walk the aisle) we took a fresh look at what God's Word has to say about the life, death, and resurrection of Christ? How would that change our perspective?

[Ethan Ezikian · Rating 5 out of 5]

With compelling story telling, Nicholas McDonald acts as a compassionate companion to those who are walking through de-churching or deconstruction. As a follower of Jesus, this book helped me to thoughtfully empathize with those I love who are disenchanted with the church. I loved it for how well it was written, and I loved it for the message it communicates. I hope so many more people read it!

It’s been years since a book has grabbed my attention like this one did. At first it was delightfully jarring as I tried to mentally categorize what McDonald is doing in this project. Part memoir, part humor, part biblical teaching, part call to action. McDonald won't be pinned down! He kept me on my toes, stimulated important questions, and provoked thoughtful reflection. I read it in every spare moment and couldn't put it down!

[Rachel Schoenberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Light in Our Eyes is a wonderful book touching on the author's experiences of American evangelicalism and how this subculture often misses the big picture of Christianity. It shows how American evangelicalism has become too focused on things like "saving souls" and "going to heaven" to the exclusion of impacting the culture and the world in general, or as one might put it, "building the kingdom of God on Earth." The book covers the ways that both fundamentalist and progressive forms of Christianity fail to be fulfilling, and it emphasizes the importance of present-day Christians learning from the historical church. Although I had high expectations for this book, given my enjoyment of Nicholas McDonald's writing on Substack, it managed to be even better than I thought it would be, with its mix of relatability, humour, and hopefulness.

[Katrina Fannin · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the most compelling parts of this book for me is Nick’s vulnerability. I would not have expected it to be a page-turner, but I read the entire thing in four sittings. His illustrations and anecdotes are powerful, and I know I will continue to ponder his arguments and calls to action for a long time to come.

[Trisha McHugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal read. Cannot recommend enough.

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this. The idea of people deconstructing from basic white American Christianity understandably makes church people nervous, and there are two opposite approaches one can take. 1) Evangelicalism has basically no problems and you should listen to your pastor and stop worrying! We know the true way! 2) You are right, the evangelical church is a disaster, go ahead and leave. Or: 3) McDonald has a more thoughtful, mature and, I think, more Biblical approach. His goal is to bring people through their disillusionment not into bitterness but into a better restoration: and it does not look exactly like the church they left. It looks more like Christianity across other centuries and countries.

I love his take that Jesus has come to renew the whole earth, not to burn it to the ground so we can all escape. Theology of escape says that nothing you do matters because it will all be destroyed anyway, but theology of renewal gives it meaning. Theology of renewal reminds us, ideas and knowledge aren't automatically wrong just because a non-Christian came up with it. They can see this real world too, which comes from Jesus. If renewal is a thing, we have... hope?!?? We get to work with Jesus to bring about his idea of a fuller, more peaceful, more just, more interesting place than it currently is. Even doing dishes has an honorable role. And the idea that we really could help make things better, that's a tasty vision.

[Austin Kettle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is useful and truthful. McDonald loves people who are deconstructing, and writes like it. The concepts and models he offers up are brilliant because they are both useful and truthful: simple enough that you can actually use them in conversation, and deeply thought through so they bear up in real life.

I love this book as a pastor because it’s hopeful. It’s hopeful for those walking away from church, and for those of us longing to engage with them. It’s funny. I read a lot of books, and it’s rare to just enjoy one like I’m in the pub with a fascinating, well-read friend you is passionate but also gets that I’m a person too.

Nick’s concepts and stories stay with me and make me a better pastor. His vision for a better engagement with deconstruction is theologically robust and grounded in testimony after testimony of the loving god at work through people like us, who don’t know everything.

Read this book. Buy copies and do a small group read together. Even if you’re not directly engaging with deconstruction, it will help you see through to greater clarity and joy in the gospel, so that when you do engage with deconstruction, you’ll be better equipped to meet it with clear thinking, kind words, and light in your eyes.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a fantastic book for the church today! I highly recommend The Light In Our Eyes for anyone who wants to know why going to church matters.

I've been working in the church for 25 years, and during that time I've have seen regular church attenders, still claiming faith in Christ, stop attending church for various reasons. Nick McDonald's book addresses the discontentment and disillusionment that some feel with the church, and doesn't try to sweep it under the rug. Rather he owns what is true, and walks people through those feelings in order to lead readers to a better vision for the beauty of being part of a local church.

One other note: Nick is a great writer -- thoughtful, concise, and a joy to read. The Light In Our Eyes is heart-warming and even laugh-out-loud funny at times. I'm excited for many of my friends to read this book!

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having read I’ve Got Questions by Erin Moon earlier this year, The Light in Our Eyes feels like a good companion.

I learned, I laughed, I reflected. I will definitely need to read again to absorb more.

I’ve visited the author’s church with friends who attend and it is the kind of liturgical church I wish I could find in my own community. For now, I think I should order a copy of the Book of Common Prayer.

[Chris Smith]

Super helpful book for understanding deconstruction, and helping to move young Christians beyond deconstruction to reconstruction of their faith.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was a banger

(longer review to come I just gotta think)

[Jalen · Rating 5 out of 5]

After much trial, I find I can't give a good brief synopsis of this read... there's just so much good in too many different ways, so know what I say here doesn't do it justice... so you should probably just read it, because its really freaking good.

The Light in Our Eyes is a thought-provoking read on why so many within the American Evangelical church have deconstructioned or de-churched, explores how we arrived at this point (the gospel of escape and cultures of exclusion and relevance) and how we can restore or restory our identity through the love of Jesus, the scriptures, and the context of the global historic church. 

McDonald openly discusses and addresses many of the rightly fair reasons people have become discontented and disillusioned with the church. He offers many firsthand accounts, personal stories, and some good humor to help us understand and navigate this mess we humans have made of God's great vision for His Church.

Sidenote: Folks may call what McDonald is calling us to "social gospel," but the reality is that he's simply calling us back to our roots in the history of the Global Church. 

Something massive for me in this book was the revelation that I've been living and operating under the broken/false theology of what McDonald calls the gospel of escape (the theology that when we die/Jesus returns we all get beamed up into heaven and leave everything we've ever known to go wear white robs and praise God in heaven for the rest of eternity and that because of this nothing we do on earth matters as long as our souls are saved and we save the souls of others,) my entire life and this "theology" was one of the main reasons I've struggled over the years with my own faith journey, because this story doesn't at all align with the words of Jesus. It didn't make sense to me, and while my spirit understood, I didn't have the theological understanding or words to express this feeling till now.

The reality is, when Jesus returns, He brings Heaven with him, He creates a new heaven ON EARTH, to quote McDonald (pg 91, 92) "...but where is heaven? The answer is this: It's coming. Here. To Earth. The rest of Jesus's ministry speaks likewise. The kingdom isn't going to shrink and die until the world finally burns in a great tribulation." "we're not starting over somewhere else; we're restoring things to the way they should be." Here. Now. Forever."

I want to share this book to each pastor that has preached from a place of hate, escapism, and fear. With each friend who's been hurt by the false gospel's evangelicals have perpetuated and those who like me have/had become disillusioned with the Church but still see and desire the truth and love of Jesus. I want share this with my parents and grandparents, and those that currently benefit from the evangelical culture of escapism, exclusion, and relevance - but also are just as victims of a lie, so that may understand why their children and the next generation want nothing to do with the American evangelical church.


Disclaimer: The author of this book is also an associate pastor at my church, so if that matters to you, feel free to disregard everything I said.

[Grace Catherine Beckham · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was PHENOMENAL! I stayed up late into the night finishing the final chapters, and
has been this book has been with me on buses, subway rides, waiting in line, and more. I've referenced or recommended it to students, strangers, end even our emergency exterminator who came last week.

McDonald writes in a winsome-yet-bold way about American evangelicalism's need for a re-story-ing, and how deconstruction itself might not be something we need to fear. He magnifies the importance of examining the beliefs we've each so tightly clung to, whether for tainted reasons or no known reason at all, calling us to take up the yoke of Jesus's dreams rather than our own standards, performance, or cynicism.

I love the way MCDonald introduces and frames the journey - and how God's people should relate to art, media, culture, communities of difference, etc.- on the basis of the greater biblical story arc of creation, fall, redemption, and new creation. What McDonald has written is good news to a weary world, and anyone on the spiritual spectrum could encounter the honest and humble heart of Jesus in these pages.

Here's a favorite quote:
"In a non-Christian culture, the gospel needs to be demonstrated in our lives and communities before anyone has interest in its content. In the West, he [Newbigin] said, that means the first place we will demonstrate the gospel is in our public life. If you sincerely create beauty, protect the vulnerable, and serve from the heart in all your work, you're preparing the way for Jesus to enter someone's life. ***Before our neighbors understand the truth of Jesus, they need to see the beauty of Jesus. People must be enchanted before they're convinced.*** We show that beauty, not through acts of greatness or dominance, but through small, humble. everyday acts of service."

[James Briggs · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book taking readers beyond the religion-in-decline headlines to discuss why young people are becoming disillusioned with faith. It offers affirmation for people who have felt that way, while also making a strong case that connection to the church is essential. I can’t relate to deconstruction, but I have a better understanding of it now, as well as an expanded vocabulary for considering my own faith journey. “The Light in Our Eyes” helped me think about the church in new ways and examine my own attitudes. Sometimes my criticisms of the church have been fair. Other times, I have projected my own selfish standards and cynicism onto the church and judged it as falling short. Nicholas McDonald gives me, and all of us, much to reflect on here.

[Cyril · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nicholas McDonald does a fantastic job at addressing the deep longings of Christians disillusioned with American evangelicalism's unbiblical manifestations. Through personal storytelling and artful illumination of the biblical text, he points out the flaws of the subculture and points people to Jesus' vision for his people. The unique strength of this book is its storytelling, which truly paints a vivid and sympathy-filled picture of the pain we can experience as Christians when it comes to the church and compellingly points us to the good news about Jesus.

[Eric Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

Evangelical churches are facing a mass exodus in recent years, and McDonald's work here aims to shine a light onto a path of renewal and restoration for the disillusioned and deconstructing. He argues that it's rare to find hope or "light" in the eyes of modern evangelicals; you're more likely to find cynicism, separatism, and a theology of escapism. This is not only unfaithful to the tradition of orthodox Christianity but also a recipe for disillusionment and exhaustion among its members, leading to the great dechurching of the 21st century.

McDonald spends the second half of the book encouraging and restoring (re-story-ing) us through Zechariah's Benedictus and a vision of Jesus' dreams for us. What if, instead of Creation -> Fall -> Disaster -> Rapture, our understanding of the God's story was Creation -> Fall -> Restoration -> New Creation? We might experience, embody, and extend Christ's dreams for our world through communion, confession, hospitality, ancestry, covenant, wisdom, prayer, partnership, and service.

You can tell that McDonald was trained in creative writing; his talent for storytelling really comes through in this work. Plus, his anecdotes are genuinely funny. My gentle criticism would be that the second half of the book often felt too anectote-y to apply since each of the practices described probably deserves a tome or two of their own. My closing thought is that I'm genuinely curious about McDonald's Indianapolis church he describes throughout - he makes it sound like it's bursting with life, hope, and light. Now that I think about it, my reaction of interest and curiosity is exactly what he predicts will happen when a community is re-storied in the way of Jesus and his dreams.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic Read in the Midst of Deconstruction.

I am about 3–4 years Into my deconstruction/reconstruction journey. My wife precedes me in this. It is a very lonely place as most of our friend group is exactly where I was a few years ago: Comfortably confident in group think echo chambers both in broken understanding of Christianity as well as Christian nationalism. I have to remind myself to give grace because I was there. That being said, it can be extraordinarily frustrating and lonely with little to chance to be heard or understood and most of the time not even making an attempt to take courage to share where I am. Fortunately, this all changed when I was asked several months ago by a gentleman I had just met where I went to church and I said I was deconstructing. Instead of scorn or confusion, he immediately shared that he had a book recommendation for me: The Light in Our Eyes.

I did not know that there was a reference manual such as this in existence! As I listened to the audio version, I was many times overcome with the emotion. To be honest, often I would drift off in my own thoughts while listening being greatly comforted by Nicholas’ words of understanding and hard hitting impactfulslness that he understands what I’m going through. I gave myself permission to listen to it the first time in this manner knowing I would be listening a few times until each salient point could be absorbed and transitioned into action.

I wholeheartedly recommend and endorse this book not only for those that can relate to what I’ve said in the aforementioned, but also those that want to have an understanding of those in their circle in this arena.

[Joan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciate McDonald's concept that deconstruction is not a one size fits all but is rather a spectrum of loyal, doubting, disillusioned, deconstructing, and deconstructed. With McDonald, I think many who have left the church are disillusioned. He points out that many have become disillusioned with the toxic American evangelical subculture, seeing something rotten in it. He notes the difference between American evangelicals and evangelicals in the rest of the world. His book is aimed at the disillusioned, giving them hope, not to return to their previous experience but to find a new experience in true Christian faith.

He shares many of his own experiences and the experiences of others, often giving verbatim dialogues. His stories provide good evidence for being disillusioned. He includes some humor and some tongue in cheek observations.

I can't decide if this book is for disillusioned young people or those who minister to them. Much of McDonald's writing style is aimed at younger readers, say college age. But some of the material, like historical sections, I think they might find boring. The long section about the effect of the Civil War on the church is a case in point. Even so, this would be a good book for discussion over a cup of coffee with those disillusioned with the current state of evangelicalism in America.

I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't recommend this book enough. Nicholas puts to words my experience in American evangelicalism, with humor, with kindness, with so much care and insight. If you have become disillusioned with the American church or know someone that has left the church this is a must read. It rightly critiques the ways American evangelicalism has been hijacked by Christian Nationalism. And it points a hopeful way forward for those of us that have a deep faith in Jesus but such a deep distrust of the American church.

[Shellie Price · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, that was a really good read. I wasn't sure going in, and I had a level of mistrust through the first one-fourth of the book. But the author did very well conveying his thoughts, and the way it was written easily held my attention. I'm glad I read this book, and it left me very encouraged and comforted. The chapters aren't overly long full of boring information... They're short, and the author gets to his point fairly quickly. Definitely recommend.

[Luke Eaton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is both refreshingly optimistic and realistic in its message to those within and outside the church. It articulates a compelling invitation to the beautiful vision of Christianity rooted in the historic Christian faith. Nicholas’s writing is both accessible and deep; I think it’s a great gift for your college student heading off to school this fall.

[Flynn Evans · Rating 4 out of 5]

Probably the most encouraging thing from this book is its vision of what evangelical Christianity can be right now and in the future should it commit to renewing its cultural vision. McDonald uses the power of personal stories to invite us into the "re-storying" we need to fully realize the kind of life Christ wants for us as we look to bring heaven to earth as His redeemed people.

[Jeremiah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thus far this is the best book I’ve read on the topic of deconstruction from an evangelical perspective. It is filled with a lot of hope for those disillusioned with the Church. The author sits with people in their pain and ultimately does a good job of presenting the Christian faith as something beautiful. It manages to be theologically rich while still being very readable.

[Jan Greer · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are wondering what’s happening to the church, start here. Nick is thoughtful and theological while being practical enough for me to understand. Just a mom of one of his former youth group kids.